Skip to content
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Bored Panda)   Tattoo artist hell: "If I have to tattoo the entire declaration of independence on one more fat dude's back, I'm going to scream"   (boredpanda.com) divider line
    More: Murica, Tattoo, Infinity, Pocket watch, tattoo artists, pocket watch, lot of floral designs, Tattoo artist Lauren Harper, Tattooing  
•       •       •

2159 clicks; posted to Fandom » on 30 Sep 2020 at 6:27 PM (4 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



70 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

 
2020-09-30 5:51:13 PM  
So a couple of those on the list are classic navy shiat so if you did not go under way on haze grey then don't get them
 
2020-09-30 6:01:19 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-09-30 6:06:43 PM  
So you don't like tattooing the same shiat over and over?

2 choices:

1) Stop tattooing and pick up some paint brushes, or
2) Stop calling yourself an "artist".

Very few people are going to walk in your shop and say, "meh, tattoo whatever you want"
 
2020-09-30 6:07:00 PM  
OK, that was cynical.
 
2020-09-30 6:39:27 PM  

gopher321: So you don't like tattooing the same shiat over and over?

2 choices:

1) Stop tattooing and pick up some paint brushes, or
2) Stop calling yourself an "artist".

Very few people are going to walk in your shop and say, "meh, tattoo whatever you want"


Sounds to me more like these artists need to leave these shops and move on to others with more renown. Flash will always be done at any shop, but shops that are well known with long waits (like months) you are going to find a lot of satisfied artists doing cool and creative things. Nearly all of the 'good' shops in my city don't allow walk-ins unless they are very small.

I procured 18 hours of seat time in the winter that I had to schedule in July. I gave the artist some reference shots and a list of things I wanted as features, but told him to come up with the overall tattoos. I'm no artist, so I leave it to his capable hands instead.
 
2020-09-30 6:41:06 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-09-30 6:41:19 PM  

El_Frijole_Blanco: So a couple of those on the list are classic navy shiat so if you did not go under way on haze grey then don't get them


Counterpoint: get ALL the navy tattoos if you're a lubber.

Navy people can get tattoos typically reserved for landlocked desert dwellers and other antithetical to sailing types.

In a decade, everyone will be too confused to be judgemental.
 
2020-09-30 6:43:50 PM  
Tattoos: the only winning move is not to play.
 
2020-09-30 6:47:36 PM  

MillionDollarMo: Tattoos: the only winning move is not to play.


Yep. The ratio of truly good tats to,well, your average shiatty tat is like 1 to 1000000.
 
2020-09-30 6:51:02 PM  
You could always Just stop after the "We the people" part
 
2020-09-30 6:58:29 PM  

leeksfromchichis: El_Frijole_Blanco: So a couple of those on the list are classic navy shiat so if you did not go under way on haze grey then don't get them

Counterpoint: get ALL the navy tattoos if you're a lubber.

Navy people can get tattoos typically reserved for landlocked desert dwellers and other antithetical to sailing types.

In a decade, everyone will be too confused to be judgemental.


I grew up as a land locked desert dweller then joined the navy so I am in the clear
 
2020-09-30 7:02:41 PM  
Throw some weird shiat in the middle of the Declaration of Independence.  Maybe something from the Communist Manifesto.  Cuz nobody is ever going to read that from a fat dude's back, but if they do it should be good for some laughs.

You know, kind of like you did with High School lab reports to see if the teacher actually read them (Physics yes, Chemistry never).
 
2020-09-30 7:03:55 PM  
My first tattoo is spiders on my shoulder. pulled from a book when I turned 18. New the artist and got it done at his place after hours, drank while doing it, looks like utter shiat now.
2nd me and a buddy got, had the artist draw it, wolf paw with a yin yang inside, this was in '95 I think, getting old sucks.
Last is a tribal band me and my brother got done together new years day 2001.

Want to get another, have an idea but I need to find a place, probably around ALT.

Face tattoos, anything written in a language you don't know, cursive or names of wife/husband/whatever to me are mistakes. but ain't my skin so do what ya want.
 
2020-09-30 7:04:56 PM  
What a whiny list.
 
2020-09-30 7:07:33 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-09-30 7:23:28 PM  

gopher321: [Fark user image 450x600]


That guy looks a little old to be pregnant.
 
2020-09-30 7:26:13 PM  

drewogatory: MillionDollarMo: Tattoos: the only winning move is not to play.

Yep. The ratio of truly good tats to,well, your average shiatty tat is like 1 to 1000000.


I'd just like to add to this that I particularly wish the trend of women getting tattoos would die out already. Nothing makes a woman look trashier than having 3-4 tats in various places, and taking an already beautiful female figure and adding ink is like tagging the Mona Lisa with a gang sign.

Then again, it does make a good warning sign for spotting crazy/stupid women whom you might be better off avoiding.
 
2020-09-30 7:42:21 PM  
And then there's these

Including this winner
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-09-30 7:45:21 PM  

LurkerSupreme: drewogatory: MillionDollarMo: Tattoos: the only winning move is not to play.

Yep. The ratio of truly good tats to,well, your average shiatty tat is like 1 to 1000000.

I'd just like to add to this that I particularly wish the trend of women getting tattoos would die out already. Nothing makes a woman look trashier than having 3-4 tats in various places, and taking an already beautiful female figure and adding ink is like tagging the Mona Lisa with a gang sign.

Then again, it does make a good warning sign for spotting crazy/stupid women whom you might be better off avoiding.


...
 
2020-09-30 7:45:34 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-09-30 7:46:25 PM  
I've never seen any of those tattoos on anyone.

And I participate in a pretty inked up scene.
 
2020-09-30 7:48:59 PM  

gopher321: So you don't like tattooing the same shiat over and over?

2 choices:

1) Stop tattooing and pick up some paint brushes, or
2) Stop calling yourself an "artist".

Very few people are going to walk in your shop and say, "meh, tattoo whatever you want"


Or make a stencil.
 
2020-09-30 7:50:17 PM  

phimuskapsi: gopher321: So you don't like tattooing the same shiat over and over?

2 choices:

1) Stop tattooing and pick up some paint brushes, or
2) Stop calling yourself an "artist".

Very few people are going to walk in your shop and say, "meh, tattoo whatever you want"

Sounds to me more like these artists need to leave these shops and move on to others with more renown. Flash will always be done at any shop, but shops that are well known with long waits (like months) you are going to find a lot of satisfied artists doing cool and creative things. Nearly all of the 'good' shops in my city don't allow walk-ins unless they are very small.

I procured 18 hours of seat time in the winter that I had to schedule in July. I gave the artist some reference shots and a list of things I wanted as features, but told him to come up with the overall tattoos. I'm no artist, so I leave it to his capable hands instead.


Yep. I have to book with my artist 6-8 months out. She doesn't do walk ins. If you walk in and want some stupid tattoo one of the apprentices does it.
 
2020-09-30 7:55:58 PM  
There's a lot of questionable ink out there, but hey, an artist needs to eat.

Anyway, this is just an excuse to post an old RvB PSA:

Red vs. Blue - Tattoo Point/Counterpoint PSA | Rooster Teeth
Youtube b2pSt2gACrc
 
2020-09-30 7:56:37 PM  

LurkerSupreme: drewogatory: MillionDollarMo: Tattoos: the only winning move is not to play.

Yep. The ratio of truly good tats to,well, your average shiatty tat is like 1 to 1000000.

I'd just like to add to this that I particularly wish the trend of women getting tattoos would die out already. Nothing makes a woman look trashier than having 3-4 tats in various places, and taking an already beautiful female figure and adding ink is like tagging the Mona Lisa with a gang sign.

Then again, it does make a good warning sign for spotting crazy/stupid women whom you might be better off avoiding.


Eh, if someone doesn't find tattoos attractive, that's one thing.  I've been with my wife for 17 years, and she's got about a dozen tattoos, but so far hasn't displayed much craziness.

She also has an MBA, runs a charitable foundation, and sits on a board of directors for a visual arts association. So, she's no dummy either.

But people frequently confuse her for trailer trash.

/the last part is sarcasm, btw.
 
2020-09-30 7:57:26 PM  

LurkerSupreme: drewogatory: MillionDollarMo: Tattoos: the only winning move is not to play.

Yep. The ratio of truly good tats to,well, your average shiatty tat is like 1 to 1000000.

I'd just like to add to this that I particularly wish the trend of women getting tattoos would die out already. Nothing makes a woman look trashier than having 3-4 tats in various places, and taking an already beautiful female figure and adding ink is like tagging the Mona Lisa with a gang sign.

Then again, it does make a good warning sign for spotting crazy/stupid women whom you might be better off avoiding.


I'm always amazed by this stance, and wonder how those who have it date women. I'm trying to think, in my history of all the women I've dated (I've been a bachelor for basically 20 years), if one didn't have a tattoo - and all of them have. From little ones on feet and legs, to women with more than 10, one had a near bodysuit. All of them were still beautiful, and frankly even sexier once I 'find' them. Moms, non-moms, professionals, holders of doctorates. All of them had at least one.

I have a feeling you have to be over the age of 50 or 60 to feel that way.

Natalie Portmanteau: Yep. I have to book with my artist 6-8 months out. She doesn't do walk ins. If you walk in and want some stupid tattoo one of the apprentices does it.


Yeah, that's the other option. It's why I won't really ever get quick visits. Just big ones every once in a decade or so.
 
2020-09-30 7:58:11 PM  

Dwedit: [Mr Cool Ice]


Took a while for that to show up.  Guess the world is moving on.
 
2020-09-30 8:01:24 PM  

Ishkur: I've never seen any of those tattoos on anyone.

And I participate in a pretty inked up scene.


Really? I'm nowhere near the ink folks although a few cousins and younger friends have them. They cover six of the examples.

All part of the Unique Collective.
 
2020-09-30 8:02:32 PM  

Dwedit: [Fark user image 800x450]


I've seen the Mr. Cool Ice meme for a solid decade now, and it still makes me twitch and react like this:

media.giphy.comView Full Size
 
2020-09-30 8:07:55 PM  

phimuskapsi: LurkerSupreme: drewogatory: MillionDollarMo: Tattoos: the only winning move is not to play.

Yep. The ratio of truly good tats to,well, your average shiatty tat is like 1 to 1000000.

I'd just like to add to this that I particularly wish the trend of women getting tattoos would die out already. Nothing makes a woman look trashier than having 3-4 tats in various places, and taking an already beautiful female figure and adding ink is like tagging the Mona Lisa with a gang sign.

Then again, it does make a good warning sign for spotting crazy/stupid women whom you might be better off avoiding.

I'm always amazed by this stance, and wonder how those who have it date women. I'm trying to think, in my history of all the women I've dated (I've been a bachelor for basically 20 years), if one didn't have a tattoo - and all of them have. From little ones on feet and legs, to women with more than 10, one had a near bodysuit. All of them were still beautiful, and frankly even sexier once I 'find' them. Moms, non-moms, professionals, holders of doctorates. All of them had at least one.

I have a feeling you have to be over the age of 50 or 60 to feel that way.

Natalie Portmanteau: Yep. I have to book with my artist 6-8 months out. She doesn't do walk ins. If you walk in and want some stupid tattoo one of the apprentices does it.

Yeah, that's the other option. It's why I won't really ever get quick visits. Just big ones every once in a decade or so.


I set an appointment for my next session when I'm getting work done. I've got a ton of tattoos, but they're all "business casual" because commercial finance hasn't really caught up with larger society.
 
2020-09-30 8:10:13 PM  

Lamberts Ho Man: Throw some weird shiat in the middle of the Declaration of Independence.  Maybe something from the Communist Manifesto.  Cuz nobody is ever going to read that from a fat dude's back, but if they do it should be good for some laughs.

You know, kind of like you did with High School lab reports to see if the teacher actually read them (Physics yes, Chemistry never).


I think a classic "Bel Air" would be a rather awesome thing to do everyone once in a while.
 
2020-09-30 8:13:05 PM  

Natalie Portmanteau: I set an appointment for my next session when I'm getting work done. I've got a ton of tattoos, but they're all "business casual" because commercial finance hasn't really caught up with larger society.


The big set I'm getting basically 'dress shirt' sleeves that will just go past my elbows. I like to take years to refine the idea in my head.

Stands With A Tiny Fist: Dwedit: [Fark user image 800x450]

I've seen the Mr. Cool Ice meme for a solid decade now, and it still makes me twitch and react like this:

[media.giphy.com image 350x197] [View Full Size image _x_]


I looked up the age of the meme and it was vaguely depressing. It's 15 years old at this point. This was a photo from reddit from him in 2018:

i.kym-cdn.comView Full Size
 
2020-09-30 8:15:20 PM  

phimuskapsi: LurkerSupreme: drewogatory: MillionDollarMo: Tattoos: the only winning move is not to play.

Yep. The ratio of truly good tats to,well, your average shiatty tat is like 1 to 1000000.

I'd just like to add to this that I particularly wish the trend of women getting tattoos would die out already. Nothing makes a woman look trashier than having 3-4 tats in various places, and taking an already beautiful female figure and adding ink is like tagging the Mona Lisa with a gang sign.

Then again, it does make a good warning sign for spotting crazy/stupid women whom you might be better off avoiding.

I'm always amazed by this stance, and wonder how those who have it date women. I'm trying to think, in my history of all the women I've dated (I've been a bachelor for basically 20 years), if one didn't have a tattoo - and all of them have. From little ones on feet and legs, to women with more than 10, one had a near bodysuit. All of them were still beautiful, and frankly even sexier once I 'find' them. Moms, non-moms, professionals, holders of doctorates. All of them had at least one.

I have a feeling you have to be over the age of 50 or 60 to feel that way.

Natalie Portmanteau: Yep. I have to book with my artist 6-8 months out. She doesn't do walk ins. If you walk in and want some stupid tattoo one of the apprentices does it.

Yeah, that's the other option. It's why I won't really ever get quick visits. Just big ones every once in a decade or so.


I also feel obligated to point out women have been tattooed for as long as men have, and it was absolutely exceedingly common in Victorian and Edwardian upper-class circles among the women of the "quality". Multiple tattoos, and large at that.
 
2020-09-30 8:16:44 PM  

phimuskapsi: I have a feeling you have to be over the age of 50 or 60 to feel that way.


Nope, mid 30s. And if tats on women don't bother you, fine. I'm not saying they make it impossible for me to appreciate their other beautiful physical traits, just that I've never (or at least, rarely) seen tats that accentuate or add to their existing beauty. From my perspective, they always detracted from it.
 
2020-09-30 8:24:40 PM  

Natalie Portmanteau: Eh, if someone doesn't find tattoos attractive, that's one thing.  I've been with my wife for 17 years, and she's got about a dozen tattoos, but so far hasn't displayed much craziness.

She also has an MBA, runs a charitable foundation, and sits on a board of directors for a visual arts association. So, she's no dummy either.


I didn't say that tattoos are always a sign that a woman is trashy or crazy, just that they can put me more on the lookout for such traits, as at the very least they can often be a sign of impulsive decision making. I have however seen plenty of examples of successful upstanding women, similar to the example you're citing, who also happen to have tattoos.
 
2020-09-30 8:41:49 PM  

LurkerSupreme: drewogatory: MillionDollarMo: Tattoos: the only winning move is not to play.

Yep. The ratio of truly good tats to,well, your average shiatty tat is like 1 to 1000000.

I'd just like to add to this that I particularly wish the trend of women getting tattoos would die out already. Nothing makes a woman look trashier than having 3-4 tats in various places, and taking an already beautiful female figure and adding ink is like tagging the Mona Lisa with a gang sign.

Then again, it does make a good warning sign for spotting crazy/stupid women whom you might be better off avoiding.


There's absolutely nothing hotter than a tattooed nurse
Fark user imageView Full Size

Fark user imageView Full Size

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-09-30 8:44:26 PM  
Then again...every nurse I've dated *has* turned out to be batshiat crazy.
 
2020-09-30 8:53:21 PM  

Ishkur: I've never seen any of those tattoos on anyone.

And I participate in a pretty inked up scene.


I've noticed around home here lots of Tribal/First Nation stuff, obv on white people. You see that too?

Also, list fails without bicep barbwire .
 
2020-09-30 8:54:21 PM  
Somebody's going to have to invent some printing machine. Like Guttenberg, but with spell check for god's sake.
 
2020-09-30 8:56:02 PM  
My tattooist roommate in the early 90s REFUSED to do any Tasmanian Devils. It evolved into also "no Bad Boy/No Fear/Big Johnson" crap. He did it for fun, not for his main job so he could afford to be picky.
 
2020-09-30 9:10:36 PM  

drewogatory: MillionDollarMo: Tattoos: the only winning move is not to play.

Yep. The ratio of truly good tats to,well, your average shiatty tat is like 1 to 1000000.


Mostly because people are cheap.  They want big, fancy tattoos but don't want to pay for the artists who can do it right.  A former co-worker of mine saved up for a full sleeve but he booked one of the top artists in our area and spent months planning it out with him.  He wanted his hand done as well but the artist flat out refused because those are job killers.
 
2020-09-30 9:15:04 PM  

mainsail: I also feel obligated to point out women have been tattooed for as long as men have, and it was absolutely exceedingly common in Victorian and Edwardian upper-class circles among the women of the "quality". Multiple tattoos, and large at that.


I actually did not know that, and looking it up I was surprised to see how good they were for the age. When I think old tattoos I generally think old sailor tattoos that were...well, less than good in most cases. 

Then the circus ruined it all lol.

Robinfro: LurkerSupreme: drewogatory: MillionDollarMo: Tattoos: the only winning move is not to play.

Yep. The ratio of truly good tats to,well, your average shiatty tat is like 1 to 1000000.

I'd just like to add to this that I particularly wish the trend of women getting tattoos would die out already. Nothing makes a woman look trashier than having 3-4 tats in various places, and taking an already beautiful female figure and adding ink is like tagging the Mona Lisa with a gang sign.

Then again, it does make a good warning sign for spotting crazy/stupid women whom you might be better off avoiding.

There's absolutely nothing hotter than a tattooed nurse
[Fark user image 223x226]
[Fark user image 425x222]
[Fark user image 225x225]


The girl I date now is a nurse and she has like 12.
 
2020-09-30 9:25:46 PM  

Robinfro: LurkerSupreme: drewogatory: MillionDollarMo: Tattoos: the only winning move is not to play.

Yep. The ratio of truly good tats to,well, your average shiatty tat is like 1 to 1000000.

I'd just like to add to this that I particularly wish the trend of women getting tattoos would die out already. Nothing makes a woman look trashier than having 3-4 tats in various places, and taking an already beautiful female figure and adding ink is like tagging the Mona Lisa with a gang sign.

Then again, it does make a good warning sign for spotting crazy/stupid women whom you might be better off avoiding.

There's absolutely nothing hotter than a tattooed nurse
[Fark user image image 223x226]
[Fark user image image 425x222]
[Fark user image image 225x225]


I once met a tattooed ER doctor with librarian glasses and all the right curves.  I can only imagine what her stress relief sex was like.
 
2020-09-30 9:42:44 PM  

Nexzus: Ishkur: I've never seen any of those tattoos on anyone.

And I participate in a pretty inked up scene.

I've noticed around home here lots of Tribal/First Nation stuff, obv on white people. You see that too?

Also, list fails without bicep barbwire .


Yeah, lots of Haida/Coast Salish art. Lots of celtic designs. And for Surrey single mom teens pushing strollers down King George with no baby in them: Lower back angel or fairy wings.

It's very regional, I think. Obviously not going to see the Declaration of Independence on a dude's back around these parts.
 
2020-09-30 10:03:44 PM  

Robinfro: Then again...every nurse I've dated *has* turned out to be batshiat crazy.


I lived in a town with a vet school. 100 women in a 125 person class on average. About 5 weren't crazy. Not going to lie, I rode that bus until I aged out.
 
2020-09-30 10:19:42 PM  

phimuskapsi: gopher321: So you don't like tattooing the same shiat over and over?

2 choices:

1) Stop tattooing and pick up some paint brushes, or
2) Stop calling yourself an "artist".

Very few people are going to walk in your shop and say, "meh, tattoo whatever you want"

Sounds to me more like these artists need to leave these shops and move on to others with more renown. Flash will always be done at any shop, but shops that are well known with long waits (like months) you are going to find a lot of satisfied artists doing cool and creative things. Nearly all of the 'good' shops in my city don't allow walk-ins unless they are very small.

I procured 18 hours of seat time in the winter that I had to schedule in July. I gave the artist some reference shots and a list of things I wanted as features, but told him to come up with the overall tattoos. I'm no artist, so I leave it to his capable hands instead.


Agreed. My artist co-owns a tattoo shop with his best friend. They both have 4-5 month waiting lists. If someone wants something like that they probably won't even let them on the list and would pass them off to the other folks who rent space in the shop. Also my guy specializes in geometric and mandalas, he would be legitimately baffled if someone wanted to get on a 5 month wait for a fricking infinity loop tattoo.

Also as someone who got a geometric sleeve with mandalas, I heavily disagree with the mandala one (yeah I'm biased). My guys made a career off of them. I notice they didn't have a derogatory quote connected with it, just a snide comment. Anyways, time for the obligatory show off pic. Deciding to get a sleeve one of the best decisions I ever made.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-09-30 10:21:41 PM  
i.pinimg.comView Full Size
 
2020-09-30 10:23:13 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-09-30 10:36:59 PM  

phimuskapsi: mainsail: I also feel obligated to point out women have been tattooed for as long as men have, and it was absolutely exceedingly common in Victorian and Edwardian upper-class circles among the women of the "quality". Multiple tattoos, and large at that.

I actually did not know that, and looking it up I was surprised to see how good they were for the age. When I think old tattoos I generally think old sailor tattoos that were...well, less than good in most cases. 

Then the circus ruined it all lol.

Robinfro: LurkerSupreme: drewogatory: MillionDollarMo: Tattoos: the only winning move is not to play.

Yep. The ratio of truly good tats to,well, your average shiatty tat is like 1 to 1000000.

I'd just like to add to this that I particularly wish the trend of women getting tattoos would die out already. Nothing makes a woman look trashier than having 3-4 tats in various places, and taking an already beautiful female figure and adding ink is like tagging the Mona Lisa with a gang sign.

Then again, it does make a good warning sign for spotting crazy/stupid women whom you might be better off avoiding.

There's absolutely nothing hotter than a tattooed nurse
[Fark user image 223x226]
[Fark user image 425x222]
[Fark user image 225x225]

The girl I date now is a nurse and she has like 12.


I worked the grill in a teaching hospital's cafeteria and woo-buddy! It's almost a sorority type thing that once they graduate and get the big first paycheck that, after shiatting themselves at having a 4 figure paycheck, to plan a girls-day-out with other classmates to go get inked.
 
2020-09-30 11:07:17 PM  

El_Frijole_Blanco: So a couple of those on the list are classic navy shiat so if you did not go under way on haze grey then don't get them


I've told this story before but I was on a bus going to Vancouver. There was an elderly Asian gentleman sitting at the back of the bus with me who struck up a conversation. It turned out he had emigrated from Hong Kong and had worked as a tattoo artist since the '70s.

"Do you know who the Triad are?"

"Yes, I've heard of them."

"I am so sick of white guys begging me to put Triad tattoos on them because 'they look cool'. I tell them they will throw you in the back of a car, torture you to find out who gave you the tattoo and then come kill me. No."

/getting a tattoo for a gang or group you don't belong to is dumb
//getting a members-only tattoo for an Asian gang when you're a pasty white guy is dumber
///come in 3s
 
Displayed 50 of 70 comments


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all


View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking





On Twitter



  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.