Skip to content
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(NYPost) Weeners Your Fark-ready headline for the day: New Jersey cops to get $2.5M payout after being harassed by dildos for more than a decade   (nypost.com) divider line
    More: Weeners, Pleading, Cause of action, Police, New Jersey borough, Allegation, municipal officials, internal affairs officer Andrew Huber, Dildo  
•       •       •

2586 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 Sep 2020 at 4:20 PM (4 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



49 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2020-09-29 4:00:39 PM  
This thread is dildos

/oblig
 
2020-09-29 4:09:46 PM  
Why can't they just shoot the dildos?
 
2020-09-29 4:17:40 PM  
Dildos harassing dildos.  How is that actionable?
 
2020-09-29 4:21:14 PM  

Marcus Aurelius: Why can't they just shoot the dildos?


Depends.  Are they black?
 
2020-09-29 4:23:12 PM  
Don't let this lawyer hear about the Dildonians....
 
2020-09-29 4:24:12 PM  
"The leadership of the small department of fewer than two dozen cops allegedly knew of the dildo debauchery that started in 2007 or 2008, the complaint says.
Police brass even went as far as bringing in an attorney to help explain to cops the issues surrounding their use of the sex toy, according to the complaint.

But the primary dildo-wielder, Huber, scoffed at the training and left the room, according to the complaint."

I worked at a dildo store, and even I never got as cool a title as Primary Dildo-Wielder.
 
2020-09-29 4:25:35 PM  
"But the primary dildo-wielder, Huber, scoffed at the training and left the room, according to the complaint."


It sounds like the only thing this guy needs to be counseled on is getting in touch with his sexuality.

Which is the opposite of hetero.
 
2020-09-29 4:26:14 PM  

bthom37: I worked at a dildo store, and even I never got as cool a title as Primary Dildo-Wielder.


I think that says more about him than you.
 
2020-09-29 4:28:22 PM  
JFC, these assholes do this kind of stuff to their coworkers, just imagine what they do to the people they "protect and serve".

throw them away, throw them all away.

farking dildos, who does that? assholes, that's who.
 
2020-09-29 4:29:43 PM  
A decade of dildo debauchery?  Damn!  A joke is only funny for so long.  Teach these people some basic humor skills.
 
2020-09-29 4:30:12 PM  
I was born and raised in Jersey.  From my personal observation, the vast majority of NJ cops are loathsome scumbags.

Video shows N.J. cop using a dildo to harass man
Youtube 6XTAisXRAbk
 
2020-09-29 4:30:44 PM  
meme-arsenal.comView Full Size


/approves
 
2020-09-29 4:31:29 PM  
>screams in Kazakh<

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-09-29 4:31:52 PM  
dildo debauchery has to be the name of something.
 
2020-09-29 4:32:31 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-09-29 4:33:20 PM  
Taxpayers money.
 
2020-09-29 4:34:24 PM  
Yes, you have much to be proud of, "Moutainside".

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-09-29 4:36:23 PM  
The fact that they spelled the name of the city wrong on the banner says everything.
 
2020-09-29 4:36:36 PM  
Like usual, the cops misbehave and taxpayers pay for it.  fark the police.
 
2020-09-29 4:37:55 PM  
How's that running with no accountability working out for you?  You may want to take care of it in all cases, not just the dildo stuff.
 
2020-09-29 4:40:58 PM  

JNowe: Yes, you have much to be proud of, "Moutainside".

[Fark user image 618x410]


These morans are literally all nepotism and crony hires.   The dingle-berry on top of this shiat sunday is that they are paid enormous salaries.
 
2020-09-29 4:41:12 PM  
what ? no pics, i expected some excellent pics.
 
2020-09-29 4:43:55 PM  
police brass and municipal officials allowed the "harassing, inappropriate and illegal conduct" by the sex toy - dubbed "Big Blue."

i0.kym-cdn.comView Full Size
/it's the sex toy's fault
 
2020-09-29 4:50:01 PM  
And this was their internal affairs guy.  The guy in charge of investigating improper behavior and excessive use of force thought it was okay to go around a wack his coworkers with a large blue dildo.

Also, how much you want to bet that thing went up the butt of some poor suspect on at least one occassion?
 
2020-09-29 4:53:57 PM  

winedrinkingman: And this was their internal affairs guy.  The guy in charge of investigating improper behavior and excessive use of force thought it was okay to go around a wack his coworkers with a large blue dildo.

Also, how much you want to bet that thing went up the butt of some poor suspect on at least one occassion?


How much you wanna bet a flashlight went up the butts of other cops?   If they do that to each other in the police station, what to you think they've done to civilians?

https://nj1015.com/dildogate-ex-chief​-​still-on-payroll-while-collecting-140k​-pension/
 
2020-09-29 4:56:19 PM  

bthom37: "The leadership of the small department of fewer than two dozen cops allegedly knew of the dildo debauchery that started in 2007 or 2008, the complaint says.
Police brass even went as far as bringing in an attorney to help explain to cops the issues surrounding their use of the sex toy, according to the complaint.

But the primary dildo-wielder, Huber, scoffed at the training and left the room, according to the complaint."

I worked at a dildo store, and even I never got as cool a title as Primary Dildo-Wielder.


You could have claimed "head dildo wrangler" and no one would have batted an eye.
 
2020-09-29 5:17:24 PM  
RogueWallEnthusiast:
You could have claimed "head dildo wrangler" and no one would have batted an eye.

For a moment I thought "what's a head dildo?"
 
2020-09-29 5:31:57 PM  
This is from another news source:

According to state pension data, Attanasio has 34 years of service and his salary was $150,104. Huber has 21 years of service and his salary was $133,531.

Both were placed on paid leave then allowed to retire.
 
2020-09-29 6:34:07 PM  
They called it Big Blue, lame. Why not get a blue fist and call it "The Long Arm Of The Law"?

I'd say don't quite your day jobs, but they just cost the borough $2.5 million for not a funny joke.
 
2020-09-29 6:45:53 PM  
As part of the settlement, which will be covered by the municipality's insurance, borough officials deny all allegations in the lawsuit.

Lucky bastards.  I couldn't get vibrator damage insurance because my agent told me that I lived to close to an erogenous zone.
 
2020-09-29 6:46:10 PM  
Item one: this town barely exists.... like, it's the police station in the middle of an on ramp onto route 22. They're a joke
 
2020-09-29 6:55:57 PM  

SumJackass07: They called it Big Blue, lame. Why not get a blue fist and call it "The Long Arm Of The Law"?

I'd say don't quite your day jobs, but they just cost the borough $2.5 million for not a funny joke.


"Brace yourself, rookie, here comes the Thick Blue Line."

"This time, the Blue is gonna back YOU."
 
2020-09-29 6:58:46 PM  

Otera: Item one: this town barely exists.... like, it's the police station in the middle of an on ramp onto route 22. They're a joke


Jersey is full of one-square-mile joke towns (565 incorporated municipalities), but their's nothing funny about the the size of the very real paychecks going to the nepotism and crony hires of these twisted little Mayberries.
 
2020-09-29 7:07:11 PM  

Fissile: Otera: Item one: this town barely exists.... like, it's the police station in the middle of an on ramp onto route 22. They're a joke

Jersey is full of one-square-mile joke towns (565 incorporated municipalities), but their's nothing funny about the the size of the very real paychecks going to the nepotism and crony hires of these twisted little Mayberries.


I grew up in the next town over from Mountainside.
 
2020-09-29 7:09:02 PM  
Otherwise known as hippies
 
2020-09-29 7:13:03 PM  

HailRobonia: RogueWallEnthusiast:
You could have claimed "head dildo wrangler" and no one would have batted an eye.

For a moment I thought "what's a head dildo?"


Do NOTGIS that at work.
 
2020-09-29 7:15:37 PM  

bthom37: "The leadership of the small department of fewer than two dozen cops allegedly knew of the dildo debauchery that started in 2007 or 2008, the complaint says.
Police brass even went as far as bringing in an attorney to help explain to cops the issues surrounding their use of the sex toy, according to the complaint.

But the primary dildo-wielder, Huber, scoffed at the training and left the room, according to the complaint."

I worked at a dildo store, and even I never got as cool a title as Primary Dildo-Wielder.


Perhaps you lack the sober, steadfast FAITH needed to be the Primary Dildo-Wielder. Unlike PDW Huber, PBUH, whose religion has so clearly been disrespected and defiled.
 
2020-09-29 7:17:20 PM  

Arachnophobe: SumJackass07: They called it Big Blue, lame. Why not get a blue fist and call it "The Long Arm Of The Law"?

I'd say don't quite your day jobs, but they just cost the borough $2.5 million for not a funny joke.

"Brace yourself, rookie, here comes the Thick Blue Line."

"This time, the Blue is gonna back YOU."


I think that last one is a Chuck Tingle novel. And if it isn't, rule 34 will take care of it.
 
2020-09-29 7:23:51 PM  

JNowe: Yes, you have much to be proud of, "Moutainside".

[Fark user image 618x410]


Mission Pride Dedication... and Dildoes.
 
2020-09-29 7:25:44 PM  

Fissile: Otera: Item one: this town barely exists.... like, it's the police station in the middle of an on ramp onto route 22. They're a joke

Jersey is full of one-square-mile joke towns (565 incorporated municipalities), but their's nothing funny about the the size of the very real paychecks going to the nepotism and crony hires of these twisted little Mayberries.


I grew up in one of these "twisted little Mayberries."

My town has its own entry on urban dictionary.  "0.1 square miles of seaside heaven, inhabited by mostly harmless narcissistic lunatics."

I f*cking love New Jersey.
 
2020-09-29 7:47:59 PM  
Getting paid an extra $41k a year to get smacked with a dido? Sign me up.
 
2020-09-29 8:04:27 PM  

Fissile: winedrinkingman: And this was their internal affairs guy.  The guy in charge of investigating improper behavior and excessive use of force thought it was okay to go around a wack his coworkers with a large blue dildo.

Also, how much you want to bet that thing went up the butt of some poor suspect on at least one occassion?

How much you wanna bet a flashlight went up the butts of other cops?   If they do that to each other in the police station, what to you think they've done to civilians?

https://nj1015.com/dildogate-ex-chief-​still-on-payroll-while-collecting-140k​-pension/


LOL.
I love how people cry about double dipping.
well ignoring that we live in a country that says Social Security is only supposed to be a supplement.
Wut?
Logic disconnect much?
 
2020-09-29 8:11:37 PM  
I always find settlement like these amazing. $466k each because they we're harassed.  I broke my back at 38 and became permanently disabled due to an accident on the job at AT&T. I got $70k. Hell, I would've taken harassment by dildo for 1/2 million. Instead, I got a lifetime of pain and AT&T got a comparative deal.
 
2020-09-29 8:37:26 PM  

HailRobonia: RogueWallEnthusiast:
You could have claimed "head dildo wrangler" and no one would have batted an eye.

For a moment I thought "what's a head dildo?"


Specialized dildos used for aural and nasal sex
 
2020-09-29 8:59:42 PM  

JNowe: Yes, you have much to be proud of, "Moutainside".

[Fark user image 618x410]


I guess every day is Dildo Pride Day as Mountainside.
 
2020-09-29 9:15:34 PM  

OBBN: I always find settlement like these amazing. $466k each because they we're harassed.  I broke my back at 38 and became permanently disabled due to an accident on the job at AT&T. I got $70k. Hell, I would've taken harassment by dildo for 1/2 million. Instead, I got a lifetime of pain and AT&T got a comparative deal.


A NJ cop job means the checks never stop coming.  Even after the cop is dead, the survivor benefits can continue for decades.   BTW, did you notice that Dildo Master and his boss got to retire with full pensions?   So the abuser gets paid, the abused gets paid, and why not?  That barrel of sweet, sweet tax money is bottomless.
 
2020-09-29 9:41:03 PM  

MythDragon: Marcus Aurelius: Why can't they just shoot the dildos?

Depends.  Are they black?


When I do a Google search for shooting dildos, the results aren't very helpful.
 
2020-09-30 2:35:45 AM  

OBBN: I always find settlement like these amazing. $466k each because they we're harassed.  I broke my back at 38 and became permanently disabled due to an accident on the job at AT&T. I got $70k. Hell, I would've taken harassment by dildo for 1/2 million. Instead, I got a lifetime of pain and AT&T got a comparative deal.


Read the pay outs on accidental death and dismemberment you have to lose an entire limb to get any real money
 
2020-09-30 12:52:29 PM  
It's the Philly cops that are really dirty
 
Displayed 49 of 49 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking





On Twitter



  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.