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(Fox News)   OK, but it's going to be a bit awkward with all these EMTs around   (foxnews.com) divider line
    More: Spiffy, Human sexual behavior, Sexual intercourse, Obesity, sexual activity, Human sexuality, Physical exercise, Exercise, heart attack survivors  
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4728 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 Sep 2020 at 1:17 AM (3 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



45 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2020-09-29 1:21:59 AM  
Kiss - Calling Dr. Love
Youtube Gia_YZqIIvA
 
2020-09-29 1:22:01 AM  
And just like that Fark invents a new sub genre of porn.
 
2020-09-29 1:22:23 AM  
Article just says "sexual activity" is beneficial.  Pretty sure punching the clown qualifies as that, so I'm good.
 
2020-09-29 1:24:47 AM  
I'd say that people who are feeling well enough to have sex are more likely to survive than those who don't. Then again there's a slim possibility that endorphins actually do help with recovery from a heart attack. I wonder if anyone has given mice enderphine injections after triggering a heart attack to study this?
 
2020-09-29 1:26:55 AM  
EMT checking in. There is a nationwide crisis of EMT shortages. It's considered a entry level position with shiat benefits and no one wants to be one anymore.

I'm a lucky one who doubled their salary in 6yrs and pulls $19.50/hr and I'm single with no kids.

Normal starting salary right now for an EMT is $13/hr and most quit in their first year once they find out it's actual work
 
2020-09-29 1:27:51 AM  

dark brew: Article just says "sexual activity" is beneficial.  Pretty sure punching the clown qualifies as that, so I'm good.


media1.tenor.comView Full Size
 
2020-09-29 1:45:54 AM  
"And that, children, is why the mortality rate is so high among married Farkers that have heart attacks"
 
2020-09-29 1:47:43 AM  

styckx: EMT checking in. There is a nationwide crisis of EMT shortages. It's considered a entry level position with shiat benefits and no one wants to be one anymore.

I'm a lucky one who doubled their salary in 6yrs and pulls $19.50/hr and I'm single with no kids.

Normal starting salary right now for an EMT is $13/hr and most quit in their first year once they find out it's actual work


I feel for you. I pass out at the sight of blood though. Saw the x-ray of my daughter's broken arm and the nurse became more concerned about me than her. I'll stick with teaching. Another occupation with generally poor entry pay for people with a 4-year degree and the resulting typical shortage.
 
2020-09-29 1:50:36 AM  

powhound: styckx: EMT checking in. There is a nationwide crisis of EMT shortages. It's considered a entry level position with shiat benefits and no one wants to be one anymore.

I'm a lucky one who doubled their salary in 6yrs and pulls $19.50/hr and I'm single with no kids.

Normal starting salary right now for an EMT is $13/hr and most quit in their first year once they find out it's actual work

I feel for you. I pass out at the sight of blood though. Saw the x-ray of my daughter's broken arm and the nurse became more concerned about me than her. I'll stick with teaching. Another occupation with generally poor entry pay for people with a 4-year degree and the resulting typical shortage.


Crazy how there's shortages for jobs with crappy pay and a lot of responsibility.  My wife is a teacher and I wouldn't wish parent emails on anybody.  I would get fired immediately.
 
2020-09-29 1:50:42 AM  

dark brew: Article just says "sexual activity" is beneficial.  Pretty sure punching the clown qualifies as that, so I'm good.


dark brewwas actually RTFA
After midnight on a Monday
Seems that some doctors were looking into
Bennies of thrusting and grunting

Having sex could help after a heart attackackackackackack
brewtried to think of how
(brewtried to think of how)
This would apply to him 'cause he lacked
A sexual partner for humping
But after he took some time
He put away his doubt
He'll be just fine, 'cause heeeeeeeee'll
Rub one out

/he'll rub one out
//whoo-hoo, uh huh
///oohoooh
 
2020-09-29 1:54:24 AM  

powhound: styckx: EMT checking in. There is a nationwide crisis of EMT shortages. It's considered a entry level position with shiat benefits and no one wants to be one anymore.

I'm a lucky one who doubled their salary in 6yrs and pulls $19.50/hr and I'm single with no kids.

Normal starting salary right now for an EMT is $13/hr and most quit in their first year once they find out it's actual work

I feel for you. I pass out at the sight of blood though. Saw the x-ray of my daughter's broken arm and the nurse became more concerned about me than her. I'll stick with teaching. Another occupation with generally poor entry pay for people with a 4-year degree and the resulting typical shortage.


As a healthcare provider you'd my insurance would be great right?

Nope. $2000 high deductable plan.  ie: I go broke the minute I get anything serious
 
2020-09-29 1:57:52 AM  
"well nurse, I think she choked"
 
2020-09-29 1:58:24 AM  
upload.wikimedia.orgView Full Size
 
2020-09-29 2:00:10 AM  
Well, you can always have your sex with the EMTs.
 
2020-09-29 2:04:08 AM  
I'm not going to go read the paper, but this sounds like a corollary rather than a direct causative effect. People who are severely ill, doing worse over overall, a less likely to want to have sex afterwards. The ones who do are probably more likely to be generally Physically Active, which is definitely a corollary of survival post heart attack. It reads like a largely spurious finding to me.
 
2020-09-29 2:04:23 AM  

wxboy: Well, you can always have your sex with the EMTs.


I'm an EMT.  You'd rather die. Trust me.
 
2020-09-29 2:07:21 AM  

dark brew: wxboy: Well, you can always have your sex with the EMTs.

I'm an EMT.  You'd rather die. Trust me.


Hello sir. I have unspecific and undiagnosable abdominal pain that rates 10/10 in pain and need to go to the ER.

I'm allergic to all pain medications except Dilaudid
 
2020-09-29 2:07:43 AM  

wxboy: Well, you can always have your sex with the EMTs.


Wait, *that's* what he wanted when he said we should have "litter sex"? Um, anyone know how to get my dick out of this discarded beer-can?
 
2020-09-29 2:08:47 AM  
heart attack survivors may be wary about hopping back in the saddle too soon after recovery

maybe just start with a riding crop
 
2020-09-29 2:09:43 AM  

chawco: I'm not going to go read the paper, but this sounds like a corollary rather than a direct causative effect. People who are severely ill, doing worse over overall, a less likely to want to have sex afterwards. The ones who do are probably more likely to be generally Physically Active, which is definitely a corollary of survival post heart attack. It reads like a largely spurious finding to me.


Spot on.  I remember a commercial for a pre-school that used to run in my area that claimed that kids who went to pre-school were more likely to graduate from high school and more likely to graduate from college.  Yeah, no shiat.  They are also more likely to have parents involved in their educational success and who are educated themselves.  Still bugs me to this day.
 
2020-09-29 2:13:49 AM  

styckx: EMT checking in. There is a nationwide crisis of EMT shortages. It's considered a entry level position with shiat benefits and no one wants to be one anymore.

I'm a lucky one who doubled their salary in 6yrs and pulls $19.50/hr and I'm single with no kids.

Normal starting salary right now for an EMT is $13/hr and most quit in their first year once they find out it's actual work


So, a package puller at amazon is worth $17/hr or more to start yet an emt is only worth $13/hr. Sad state of affairs. Also, next time I have a heart attack maybe I'll just drive myself to the ER.
 
2020-09-29 2:21:01 AM  

styckx: EMT checking in. There is a nationwide crisis of EMT shortages. It's considered a entry level position with shiat benefits and no one wants to be one anymore.

I'm a lucky one who doubled their salary in 6yrs and pulls $19.50/hr and I'm single with no kids.

Normal starting salary right now for an EMT is $13/hr and most quit in their first year once they find out it's actual work


Hey man, good on you for fighting the good fight. I went through EMT-B schooling, but didn't do my clinicals. Found data management to be my niche.
 
2020-09-29 2:57:37 AM  

styckx: EMT checking in. There is a nationwide crisis of EMT shortages. It's considered a entry level position with shiat benefits and no one wants to be one anymore.

I'm a lucky one who doubled their salary in 6yrs and pulls $19.50/hr and I'm single with no kids.

Normal starting salary right now for an EMT is $13/hr and most quit in their first year once they find out it's actual work


They also might get disheartened they see clients getting billed the equivalent of $28,000/hour for a trip in your flashy minivan, and sent to aggressive collections if not paid in seven days.
 
2020-09-29 3:25:06 AM  

KingOfTown: dark brew: Article just says "sexual activity" is beneficial.  Pretty sure punching the clown qualifies as that, so I'm good.

dark brewwas actually RTFA
After midnight on a Monday
Seems that some doctors were looking into
Bennies of thrusting and grunting

Having sex could help after a heart attackackackackackack
brewtried to think of how
(brewtried to think of how)
This would apply to him 'cause he lacked
A sexual partner for humping
But after he took some time
He put away his doubt
He'll be just fine, 'cause heeeeeeeee'll
Rub one out

/he'll rub one out
//whoo-hoo, uh huh
///oohoooh


I feel dumber for having read that
 
2020-09-29 3:32:37 AM  
You oughta know by now (oughta know)
 
2020-09-29 3:37:05 AM  

styckx: EMT checking in. There is a nationwide crisis of EMT shortages. It's considered a entry level position with shiat benefits and no one wants to be one anymore.

I'm a lucky one who doubled their salary in 6yrs and pulls $19.50/hr and I'm single with no kids.

Normal starting salary right now for an EMT is $13/hr and most quit in their first year once they find out it's actual work


I was sold at 'watch people having a heart attack bang'

Now you're just gilding the lily
 
2020-09-29 4:14:44 AM  
DNRTFA, but so if I had a heart attack during sex we should keep going at all costs.
 
2020-09-29 4:19:45 AM  

turbocucumber: DNRTFA, but so if I had a heart attack during sex we should keep going at all costs.


At least until evacuation, or keep going if you're German
 
2020-09-29 4:49:42 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-09-29 5:04:52 AM  

styckx: EMT checking in. There is a nationwide crisis of EMT shortages. It's considered a entry level position with shiat benefits and no one wants to be one anymore.

I'm a lucky one who doubled their salary in 6yrs and pulls $19.50/hr and I'm single with no kids.

Normal starting salary right now for an EMT is $13/hr and most quit in their first year once they find out it's actual work


The EMTs were making crap in the Florida Panhandle until the ambulance services started demanding way too money to contract with the hospitals and counties and everyone realized it would be cheaper to just start county EMS services that run through the fire department.

So they fired all the private companies, hired all the EMTs and paramedics at firefighter wages, which was a huge markup, and pay for the whole thing charging insurance companies, medicaid/medicare and the hospitals a reasonable rate, that I believe was a lot cheaper to boot.

County saves money, hospitals save money, the ambulance crews make more money and now have decent benefits.  Patients save a ton of money.  Call times and lives saved improved with better crews since retention is higher.  Only people who lost were the money guys who own the private ambulance companies.

I am pretty sure the private companies will "fix" the situation though by having the Republicans in the State legislature outlaw public ambulance service.
 
2020-09-29 5:15:43 AM  
1983, Singapore: My ship called at Singapore. One of the men in my work center had a heart attack while partying in Bugis Street (Boogey St.). When he returned to the ship a few days later before we stood out to Sea do he could pack his seabag for Medevac to one of the hospitals in RP, he told us that one of the nurses began masturbating him. He (good ol' boy from Richardson, TX) told her, "Don't get your hopes up, honeypot. If I just had a heart attack, I don't think I'll be able to give you what you want. Then she said to me, "This what we do to make sure you stay 'live! It work! You breathe oxygen & think sexy thought. - it keep you 'live!' Lurky, if you're ever gonna have a heart attack, may as well have it here "

I thought he was just plain making it up, because I'd never heard, before or since, of sex after a cardiac event. As a precursor, yes. Now I wonder if Cowboy Bob was telling the truth? But he kept insisting, "She just started tuggin' on my panhandle and tellin' me to relax. I kept thinkin' instead of a real nurse, they'd picked up a hooker in a nurse outfit? I also kept hopin' it wasn't one of them Boogey Street lady boys, not that I was in any condition to put up a fight. "

Maybe Cowboy Bob was telling the truth.
 
2020-09-29 5:22:12 AM  

KingOfTown: dark brew: Article just says "sexual activity" is beneficial.  Pretty sure punching the clown qualifies as that, so I'm good.

dark brewwas actually RTFA
After midnight on a Monday
Seems that some doctors were looking into
Bennies of thrusting and grunting

Having sex could help after a heart attackackackackackack
brewtried to think of how
(brewtried to think of how)
This would apply to him 'cause he lacked
A sexual partner for humping
But after he took some time
He put away his doubt
He'll be just fine, 'cause heeeeeeeee'll
Rub one out

/he'll rub one out
//whoo-hoo, uh huh
///oohoooh


Wow, I actually read that in his voice.  Excellent job
 
2020-09-29 5:31:26 AM  
I could die!

img.sharetv.comView Full Size
 
2020-09-29 5:59:02 AM  

Sid Deuces: styckx: EMT checking in. There is a nationwide crisis of EMT shortages. It's considered a entry level position with shiat benefits and no one wants to be one anymore.

I'm a lucky one who doubled their salary in 6yrs and pulls $19.50/hr and I'm single with no kids.

Normal starting salary right now for an EMT is $13/hr and most quit in their first year once they find out it's actual work

So, a package puller at amazon is worth $17/hr or more to start yet an emt is only worth $13/hr. Sad state of affairs. Also, next time I have a heart attack maybe I'll just drive myself to the ER.


So...we should ship patients by Prime?
 
2020-09-29 6:30:54 AM  
Makes sense. Blood flow etc.

/regrets never taking a blue pill with a happy pill back in the day
//heart would pack out
///entering the middle age demographic next week :(
 
2020-09-29 6:54:52 AM  

chitownmike: KingOfTown: dark brew: Article just says "sexual activity" is beneficial.  Pretty sure punching the clown qualifies as that, so I'm good.

dark brewwas actually RTFA
After midnight on a Monday
Seems that some doctors were looking into
Bennies of thrusting and grunting

Having sex could help after a heart attackackackackackack
brewtried to think of how
(brewtried to think of how)
This would apply to him 'cause he lacked
A sexual partner for humping
But after he took some time
He put away his doubt
He'll be just fine, 'cause heeeeeeeee'll
Rub one out

/he'll rub one out
//whoo-hoo, uh huh
///oohoooh

I feel dumber for having read that


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-09-29 7:46:07 AM  

dark brew: Article just says "sexual activity" is beneficial.  Pretty sure punching the clown qualifies as that, so I'm good.


Is that the new euphemism for cunninlingus?
 
2020-09-29 7:57:48 AM  
All this sex going on and all I can do is take their blood pressure while trying not to watch?

I quit.
 
2020-09-29 8:22:05 AM  

turbocucumber: DNRTFA, but so if I had a heart attack during sex we should keep going at all costs.


Someone should have told Benjamin.
 
2020-09-29 8:26:57 AM  

The Repeated Meme: Makes sense. Blood flow etc.

/regrets never taking a blue pill with a happy pill back in the day
//heart would pack out
///entering the middle age demographic next week :(


I have several groups of friends (extrovert checking in), in one of them, this guy was passing out these small packets, I grabbed one and started reading, it was some medicine from Thailand(?) that was half (generic) viagra and half (generic) Prozac, IIRC.
One gets you up, the second stops you from finishing.
1) sounds like running a marathon without training for it
2) don't mess with brain chemicals. Very suspicious that one of the group developed depression from taking that needlessly and suffering from the drop afterwards.
 
2020-09-29 8:35:11 AM  
Back in college a friend had a very bad car accident, halo and everything.
He told me he knew his body started functioning again when he woke up and stood to attention, so to speak.

/that was a month later
//unfortunately he still had the catheter
///held off calling the nurse until the pain was too much, and when he pressed the button the embarrassment was enough that by the time she got there it had passed
 
2020-09-29 8:56:23 AM  

dark brew: powhound: styckx: EMT checking in. There is a nationwide crisis of EMT shortages. It's considered a entry level position with shiat benefits and no one wants to be one anymore.

I'm a lucky one who doubled their salary in 6yrs and pulls $19.50/hr and I'm single with no kids.

Normal starting salary right now for an EMT is $13/hr and most quit in their first year once they find out it's actual work

I feel for you. I pass out at the sight of blood though. Saw the x-ray of my daughter's broken arm and the nurse became more concerned about me than her. I'll stick with teaching. Another occupation with generally poor entry pay for people with a 4-year degree and the resulting typical shortage.

Crazy how there's shortages for jobs with crappy pay and a lot of responsibility.  My wife is a teacher and I wouldn't wish parent emails on anybody.  I would get fired immediately.


My teacher wife retired this summer (pre-planned, but not pre-planned like those Fox personality vacations). With the COVID rules in place, Donald Trump doesn't have enough money to get her to go back to work. She was more tech support than teacher last spring.

Also, Donald Trump doesn't have enough money to buy me lunch. That was probably a bad example.
 
2020-09-29 10:29:38 AM  

styckx: most quit in their first year once they find out it's actual work


Who would go into EMTing thinking it's easy?
 
2020-09-29 2:53:32 PM  
th.bing.comView Full Size
 
2020-09-29 10:58:41 PM  

Prof. Frink: wxboy: Well, you can always have your sex with the EMTs.

Wait, *that's* what he wanted when he said we should have "litter sex"? Um, anyone know how to get my dick out of this discarded beer-can?


No, but if your balls ever get caught between the slats of a wooden chair, Fark will most certainly support you through that.
 
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