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(Lifehacker)   How to tell if someone is flirting with you. Well, not really you, but other, more attractive people   (lifehacker.com) divider line
    More: Interesting, Professor, Real life, findings of a recent study, Need to know, Eye contact, facial expressions, personal relationships, Human sexuality  
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4562 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Sep 2020 at 12:20 PM (4 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



100 Comments     (+0 »)
 
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2020-09-28 11:58:03 AM  
So without further ado, these facial expressions are:
A head turned to one side and titled down slightly
A slight smile
Eyes turned forward turned the implied target


That person isn't flirting with you. That person is trying to hide the fact that they're about to break into mocking laughter after discovering that you're the sort of halfwit who reads and submits Lifehacker links.
 
2020-09-28 12:04:47 PM  
This article got me charged with a third degree felony.
 
2020-09-28 12:10:31 PM  
Lifehack the planet!!!
 
2020-09-28 12:12:39 PM  
I've adopted my own method.

Is it still the 20th century?  No?  Then, no one is flirting with you.  Done.
 
2020-09-28 12:23:21 PM  
Is your name [ReluctantLondon]?
Yes?
Then no one is flirting with you, or ever will be.

/ Unsurprisingly, never learnt to flirt/date/etc.
 
2020-09-28 12:25:20 PM  
64.media.tumblr.comView Full Size
 
2020-09-28 12:26:35 PM  

Ker_Thwap: Is it still the 20th century?  No?  Then, no one is flirting with you.  Done.


I'm shaking as I type this post.  You have no idea how uncomfortable you are making me.
 
2020-09-28 12:26:43 PM  
Eye contact, determined look, walking over to you rolling up sleeves and making a fist.
 
2020-09-28 12:27:12 PM  
If it's a guy, it's because he's upright and breathing.
 
2020-09-28 12:28:08 PM  
I always figure that I have a renegade booger.  Women smile as they suppress the impulse to laugh openly.
 
2020-09-28 12:29:20 PM  
Nonsense.

Fark user imageView Full Size


Followed by:
Fark user imageView Full Size

Worst case scenario, you may have to resort to this....
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-09-28 12:30:40 PM  
Men are generally not good at picking up on cues so when the tits come out is a good sign.
 
2020-09-28 12:31:09 PM  
I was hoping for an example picture for those of us who have never seen this facial expression before.
 
2020-09-28 12:31:32 PM  
Sure, I can pick out pictures of flirting facial features when told to look for them. However, send me to a women's prison with a pocket full of pardons and I won't notice shiat.
 
2020-09-28 12:31:35 PM  
When they don't point and laugh at you for holding an "I'm flirting with you sign" from a safe distance?
 
2020-09-28 12:31:54 PM  
Flirting with =/= want to have sex with you.

/ so I've heard, anyway
 
2020-09-28 12:32:11 PM  

NewportBarGuy: This article got me charged with a third degree felony.


You were able to plead to a lesser charge after blaming it on the article?
 
2020-09-28 12:34:58 PM  

Random Anonymous Blackmail: Men are generally not good at picking up on cues so when the tits come out is a good sign.


It must be hard to notice lumps on yourself. I'd better not grope too much or she'll think I have other intentions.
 
2020-09-28 12:35:11 PM  
Attractive women don't flirt with me.

If they do, I keep a hand on my wallet.
 
2020-09-28 12:35:37 PM  

Nick Nostril: Flirting with =/= want to have sex with you.

/ so I've heard, anyway


Flirting isn't about sex, it's about power
 
2020-09-28 12:35:44 PM  
A head turned to one side and titled down slightly
A slight smile
Eyes turned forward turned the implied target


cdn.onebauer.mediaView Full Size
 
2020-09-28 12:37:13 PM  
If you think someone's flirting with you -- they're not.  Leave them be.  The people who actually get hit on, get hit on enough to know it.
 
2020-09-28 12:37:41 PM  
Flirting while married is dangerous.

Flirting while unmarried is a waste of time.
 
2020-09-28 12:39:52 PM  

dragonchild: If you think someone's flirting with you -- they're not.  Leave them be.  The people who actually get hit on, get hit on enough to know it.


Negative, amigo. It's possible to grow up moderately attractive and still be too socially [redacted] to do anything about it.
 
2020-09-28 12:40:48 PM  
You know, I've had similar luck with farm animals/sex by paying attention to those same flirting indicators!

/ too soon?
// all the wrong faces in all the right places!
/// right side of the rail - underside of the tail!
 
2020-09-28 12:42:00 PM  
Women, if you want me to notice you hitting on me, a short length of 2x3 to the base of the skull might get my attention-
Yours Truly, Historically Oblivious
 
2020-09-28 12:43:39 PM  

1funguy: You know, I've had similar luck with farm animals/sex by paying attention to those same flirting indicators!

/ too soon?
// all the wrong faces in all the right places!
/// right side of the rail - underside of the tail!


There is a saying in France which roughly translated is: Flirting is when the thingamajig is in the hand and the hand is in the thingamajig but the thingamajig is never in the thingamajig.
 
2020-09-28 12:44:19 PM  

Theaetetus: A head turned to one side and titled down slightly
A slight smile
Eyes turned forward turned the implied target

[cdn.onebauer.media image 440x247]


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-09-28 12:45:13 PM  

zepillin: Nick Nostril: Flirting with =/= want to have sex with you.

/ so I've heard, anyway

Flirting isn't about sex, it's about power


I do want to add, after the fact, that my booooobies post what meant as self-deprecating humour.
 
2020-09-28 12:45:24 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size


How to tell if someone was not flirting with you
 
2020-09-28 12:46:08 PM  
Geez, you guys are such losers. Scantily-clad attractive women in the food service and entertainment industries flirt with me spontaneously all the time. Obviously I don't do anything about it because I am a happily-married middle-aged man, but clearly based on body language all of these women would be receptive to further advances if I made them.

And no, before you say anything, I'm a generous tipper because it's a reflection of my ultra-masculine swagger and my desire to help young women work their way through grad school, not because it's a sexual quid-pro-quo in which I pay money for the fleeting illusion of sexual attractiveness, you idiots. I've apparently still got tiger blood in my veins, unlike all of you flabby saps out there.
 
2020-09-28 12:46:33 PM  
Eyes turned forward turned the implied target

I think what the article meant to say was "turned eyes turned forward turned the implied turnget"
 
2020-09-28 12:48:01 PM  
There was this one Friday night back in 1991 when everything just clicked for me.  Great hair day, nice outfit, clean ride, relatively good bod, Counterparts from RUSH had just been released.  Sadly everyone canceled that night and I ended up staying home....alone.  I would like to imagine that this flirting thing being spoken of could have found me that night.  If only.

Next day my hair sucked
 
2020-09-28 12:48:44 PM  

Martian_Astronomer: Geez, you guys are such losers. Scantily-clad attractive women in the food service and entertainment industries flirt with me spontaneously all the time. Obviously I don't do anything about it because I am a happily-married middle-aged man, but clearly based on body language all of these women would be receptive to further advances if I made them.

And no, before you say anything, I'm a generous tipper because it's a reflection of my ultra-masculine swagger and my desire to help young women work their way through grad school, not because it's a sexual quid-pro-quo in which I pay money for the fleeting illusion of sexual attractiveness, you idiots. I've apparently still got tiger blood in my veins, unlike all of you flabby saps out there.


I know this is full of sarcasm but sadly I have met more than one guys who believed the stripper wants to take them home.
 
2020-09-28 12:51:36 PM  
Eyes turned forward turned the implied target

Whut?
 
2020-09-28 12:52:15 PM  

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: [Fark user image 599x340]

How to tell if someone was not flirting with you


Nah, I'm pretty sure he's down for it.
 
2020-09-28 12:53:57 PM  
They didn't say which eye
i.ytimg.comView Full Size
 
2020-09-28 12:57:38 PM  
Who cares!

Accuracy by Volume.

Or money
 
2020-09-28 1:02:08 PM  

Random Anonymous Blackmail: Martian_Astronomer: Geez, you guys are such losers. Scantily-clad attractive women in the food service and entertainment industries flirt with me spontaneously all the time. Obviously I don't do anything about it because I am a happily-married middle-aged man, but clearly based on body language all of these women would be receptive to further advances if I made them.

And no, before you say anything, I'm a generous tipper because it's a reflection of my ultra-masculine swagger and my desire to help young women work their way through grad school, not because it's a sexual quid-pro-quo in which I pay money for the fleeting illusion of sexual attractiveness, you idiots. I've apparently still got tiger blood in my veins, unlike all of you flabby saps out there.

I know this is full of sarcasm but sadly I have met more than one guys who believed the stripper wants to take them home.


The entire population of Fort Hood.
 
2020-09-28 1:05:29 PM  
I'm pretty sure the ladies of Twin Peaks need a police escort to their vehicles each night.
 
2020-09-28 1:07:10 PM  
A restraining order is a form of flirting, right?
 
2020-09-28 1:08:19 PM  

Random Anonymous Blackmail: Martian_Astronomer: Geez, you guys are such losers. Scantily-clad attractive women in the food service and entertainment industries flirt with me spontaneously all the time. Obviously I don't do anything about it because I am a happily-married middle-aged man, but clearly based on body language all of these women would be receptive to further advances if I made them.

And no, before you say anything, I'm a generous tipper because it's a reflection of my ultra-masculine swagger and my desire to help young women work their way through grad school, not because it's a sexual quid-pro-quo in which I pay money for the fleeting illusion of sexual attractiveness, you idiots. I've apparently still got tiger blood in my veins, unlike all of you flabby saps out there.

I know this is full of sarcasm but sadly I have met more than one guys who believed the stripper wants to take them home.



I'm always annoyed by the whole shaking hands thing.  I'm here to see titties.  I don't care about you name.  Let's not stand on ceremony here by pretending I'm here for anything other than hot naked women.......and possibly wings and hard liquor.

/ More "I show money and you shake your ass" less "conversation".
 
2020-09-28 1:11:13 PM  

corn-bread: Random Anonymous Blackmail: Martian_Astronomer: Geez, you guys are such losers. Scantily-clad attractive women in the food service and entertainment industries flirt with me spontaneously all the time. Obviously I don't do anything about it because I am a happily-married middle-aged man, but clearly based on body language all of these women would be receptive to further advances if I made them.

And no, before you say anything, I'm a generous tipper because it's a reflection of my ultra-masculine swagger and my desire to help young women work their way through grad school, not because it's a sexual quid-pro-quo in which I pay money for the fleeting illusion of sexual attractiveness, you idiots. I've apparently still got tiger blood in my veins, unlike all of you flabby saps out there.

I know this is full of sarcasm but sadly I have met more than one guys who believed the stripper wants to take them home.


I'm always annoyed by the whole shaking hands thing.  I'm here to see titties.  I don't care about you name.  Let's not stand on ceremony here by pretending I'm here for anything other than hot naked women.......and possibly wings and hard liquor.

/ More "I show money and you shake your ass" less "conversation".


And they say romance is dead!
 
2020-09-28 1:11:58 PM  

Random Anonymous Blackmail: Men are generally not good at picking up on cues so when the tits come out is a good sign.


Not necessarily. She could be asking you if you think her new boyfriend will like her piercings. That's the kind of thing that would happen to me. I would need a notarized letter stating she is interested in me to believe it.
 
2020-09-28 1:18:16 PM  

talkertopc: A restraining order is a form of flirting, right?


That's called "playing hard-to-get."
 
2020-09-28 1:19:55 PM  

beezeltown: They didn't say which eye
[i.ytimg.com image 850x478]


Was there a cheesecake nearby?
 
2020-09-28 1:20:58 PM  
"So without further ado, these facial expressions are:
- A head turned to one side and titled down slightly
- A slight smile
- Eyes turned forward turned the implied target"


So she's either into you, or having a stroke.
 
2020-09-28 1:21:44 PM  
You have to look at the nipples.  If they are protruding, she is down with you.

/ok, yes username checks out
 
2020-09-28 1:22:18 PM  
To hell with this flirting nonsense. If I cop a feel and she doesn't push my hand away, then I know she's interested.
 
2020-09-28 1:26:20 PM  
Where I live, currently, it's mandatory for mask use when in public.

Last I was at the post office, there was a blisteringly hot woman in a polka dot catsuit in front of me in line; pretty much all of us males were doing our best to train our eyes on the ground.

When paying, she had some questions about shipping costs and dropped her mask to do so and holy moly her nose was bizarrely inhabited by something that was providing obvious bacterial agitation and her teeth looked like, a mix of broken chiclets that had been soaked in Pine Sol.

I could feel the collective disappointment and at that point realized that flirting now with The New Normal is going to be the equivalent of taking your gf's bra off in grade school and finding out it's a training model.

/sharp knees, got it.
//kissing is going to be weird/yucky (maybe?) in the future as we move forward.
 
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