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(Twitter Donald Trump)   Gimme that piss   (twitter.com) divider line
    More: Obvious, shot  
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4920 clicks; posted to Politics » on 28 Sep 2020 at 11:50 AM (17 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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2020-09-28 12:47:06 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-09-28 12:47:22 PM  

blondambition: Tr0mBoNe: Purple_Urkle: How about a hair test.

C'mere Trump, lemmie grab you by the overcharge and start yanking.

Apparently part of his hair is shoulder length so you'd be able to get a pretty good drug history out of it.

Does bleached and dyed hair show accurate results?


No, I don't believe so. i may or may not have had a friend that bleached their hair very aggressively and thoroughly for a hair based test.

/Not me personally, I don't partake and I'm not in a tested position. Last time I had to take one was way back when I was an intern but that was the standard pee in a cup procedure.
 
2020-09-28 12:50:08 PM  

ReluctantLondon: kling_klang_bed: freakay: Tuesday night could either be epic, or it could be epic fail.  I am leaning towards epic, because Trump cant help himself.

Biden does not need to go on the heavy offensive, but he needs to stand up to Trump as a bully, and if Trump tries anything to intimidate him, he should throw down like a playground fight with a bully.  Challenge Trump in whatever way possible.  BUT...laugh at him, make fun of him, ridicule him.  Talk about exercise.  Talk about his hair, his weight, his taxes.  Hell talk about his wives, his cheating on his wives.

Ahhh screw it.  Biden should go for the jugular.

If Trump stands behind him like a back alley rapist like he did Hillary, I hope Biden turns around and puts him in a Vulcan Death Grip for the rest of the debate.

[Youtube-video https://www.youtube.com/embed/oKTpBN6j​Ka4]

/ "ReluctantLondon, why is this in your porn folder..?"


Or..........

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-09-28 12:51:00 PM  
Biden's goal should be to get this fat f*ck to walk off stage like a coward.
 
2020-09-28 12:51:28 PM  

mathamagical: blondambition: Tr0mBoNe: Purple_Urkle: How about a hair test.

C'mere Trump, lemmie grab you by the overcharge and start yanking.

Apparently part of his hair is shoulder length so you'd be able to get a pretty good drug history out of it.

Does bleached and dyed hair show accurate results?

No, I don't believe so. i may or may not have had a friend that bleached their hair very aggressively and thoroughly for a hair based test.

/Not me personally, I don't partake and I'm not in a tested position. Last time I had to take one was way back when I was an intern but that was the standard pee in a cup procedure.


Fyi:
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/922856​7/

The majority of the mean differences were in the range of 40%-60% (cocaine, benzoylecgonine, codeine, 6-acetylmorphine and THC-COOH). For morphine the mean difference was higher than 60%, and two cases (THC and nicotine) differed by approx. 30%. These differences depended not only on the type of cosmetic treatment, as bleaching produced higher decreases than dyeing, but also on the degree of hair damage i.e. the more damaged the hair, the larger the differences in the concentration levels of drugs.
 
2020-09-28 12:52:47 PM  
Drug test is useless before hand. If Trump was genuine he would call for a rest following the debate. Trump probably gonna ride a rail before going out.
 
2020-09-28 12:53:13 PM  
Anchorman 2 "Horse Piss" Clip Official
Youtube kT3FxQRFCA4
Hpt frothy horse piss I hope
 
2020-09-28 12:56:31 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-09-28 12:57:05 PM  
If I was Biden I would pop a Tic-Tac in my mouth every few minutes during the debate.
 
2020-09-28 12:57:06 PM  
I'll take Biden high over the Flim Flam Führer sober any day.
 
2020-09-28 1:00:04 PM  

physt: 1. Biden should refuse to shake his hand. Trump will pull him off balance and make him look bad. Never trust Trump.


If you shake the Flim Flam Führer's hand, you better count your fingers afterward.
 
2020-09-28 1:04:54 PM  

nijika: Joe Biden won't piss on command even though I forcefully demanded he debase himself by doing so!   He's so owned by my facts and logic!

Right wingers are perverts cmv


Know who DOES have to piss on command?  Truck drivers.  Yet another thing Donnie has pretended to be without actually doing the useful part or bearing the responsibilities.
 
2020-09-28 1:07:00 PM  

Magnanimous_J: shoegaze99: Or rather, you don't fully sink to his level. Instead, you stoop down a bit, play his game of petty insults and jabs, but do it with a smile. Do it with a laugh. Do it with emotional distance. Stay aloof. Absolutely jab the fark out of him, but make clear you're doing it because you don't respect him, in the same way you'd brush off a loud teenager. Keep an emotional distance.

100% this.

Its not that different than arguing on the internet, if you think about it. If you get mad, you've lost. The only way to come off looking good is just to poke at your opponent and let him make himself look stupid.


That's one of the reasons I knew Facebook was a right wing propaganda tool when they added the angry face reaction. Every conservative sees that as "triggered." They might as well have just added a vibrating chick with glasses and a short haircut.
 
2020-09-28 1:07:08 PM  

abbarach: ReluctantLondon: As another Farker put it... yesterday..? - dark gods, I can no longer tell... - Biden should respond that he'd be happy to announce the results of his drug test, but they're being audited

Nah, have Biden refuse to take the test.  Then, if Trump brings it up at the debate, Biden needs to whip out one of those instant result kits.  Offer to take one right then and there, in front of the whole country... as long as Trump does the same.


And don't forget the pre and post game.  He has to warm up by pounding a large glass of water one handed, then after handing the sample bottle off to the doctor, give Donny a hearty handshake.
 
2020-09-28 1:08:23 PM  

pueblonative: Biden's goal should be to get this fat f*ck to walk off stage like a coward.


This - and I hope there's a ramp.
 
2020-09-28 1:08:41 PM  
Again, if Joe Biden really had dementia as Trumpers claim, and if there was a drug he could be given that made him lucid, even very temporarily, that would be huge news for millions of people and their families suffering from dementia.

If you believe this drug exists and Biden is using it, you're a moron.
 
2020-09-28 1:09:02 PM  

Hills-Sachs_Legion: Even if Biden agreed to a drug test, Trump would keep moving the goal posts. "Give us the long-form drug test!"


This.  It's an absolute no-win.  He could do it, and send it off to a private lab, but Trump would just claim it was rigged, or that the test he took specifically excluded whatever drug Trump wants to accuse Biden of.  The only way Trump will be satisfied is if Biden gives a urine sample to Trump's campaign team, who will then either lie about the results, or analyze it for far more than illicit drugs and make all kinds of innuendos about Biden's health.

Imagine:  "He's got prostate problems!  Weak and unmanly!  And we found evidence of recent use of antibiotics!  What is he hiding??!  Is his own immune system so weak that he is now completely reliant on perpetual use of antibiotics to prevent bread mold from growing out of his ears?!?"
 
2020-09-28 1:11:53 PM  

Skeleton Man: If I was Biden I'd light up a big ole joint on the debate stage.

No reason in particular.


"It's my sister's piss, and she's pregnant, maaaan!"
 
2020-09-28 1:12:46 PM  
All this talk of piss has reminded me; we're absolutely getting the pee tape in a few weeks, right?
 
2020-09-28 1:13:45 PM  
i.ytimg.comView Full Size
 
2020-09-28 1:14:00 PM  

Excelsior: Close2TheEdge: Because it's stupid, that's why.

Is this really what he is going to go with to explain how Biden is going to mop the floor with his $700 hair?

"some guy on drugs was able to out-debate me!" isn't really the devestating burn of Biden that he thinks it is.


"Some sleepy old guy with dementia who was high on drugs was able to out-debate me" is not much better.
 
2020-09-28 1:16:40 PM  
Come on Joe. Do it for ALL OF US. At the start of the debate whip out your pecker and hose the orange moron down on live TV.
 
2020-09-28 1:19:52 PM  

patrick767: Again, if Joe Biden really had dementia as Trumpers claim, and if there was a drug he could be given that made him lucid, even very temporarily, that would be huge news for millions of people and their families suffering from dementia.

If you believe this drug exists and Biden is using it, you're a moron.


Duh, it's obviously whatever the Q lunatics' 'baby-blood-drug' is called.
 
2020-09-28 1:21:25 PM  

Laptopia: Hills-Sachs_Legion: Even if Biden agreed to a drug test, Trump would keep moving the goal posts. "Give us the long-form drug test!"

This.  It's an absolute no-win.  He could do it, and send it off to a private lab, but Trump would just claim it was rigged, or that the test he took specifically excluded whatever drug Trump wants to accuse Biden of.  The only way Trump will be satisfied is if Biden gives a urine sample to Trump's campaign team, who will then either lie about the results, or analyze it for far more than illicit drugs and make all kinds of innuendos about Biden's health.

Imagine:  "He's got prostate problems!  Weak and unmanly!  And we found evidence of recent use of antibiotics!  What is he hiding??!  Is his own immune system so weak that he is now completely reliant on perpetual use of antibiotics to prevent bread mold from growing out of his ears?!?"


Lawyers:  The agreement was a drug test and nothing else.  Testing for things other than drugs and blaring the results to the world is the biggest HIPAA violation I have ever seen.

Trump team:  Yeah so?
 
2020-09-28 1:24:01 PM  
I have 2 questions for Trump
What drugs make you smarter?  And why aren't you hooked up to an IV at all times getting the maximum dose?
 
2020-09-28 1:29:22 PM  

alto_reed_on_a_tenor_sax: physt: 1. Biden should refuse to shake his hand. Trump will pull him off balance and make him look bad. Never trust Trump.

Alternate answer: Biden should shake his hand long and hard, like Jason Lee delivering an epic stinkpalm in Mallrats. Then he should pull Donnie in close and whisper in his ear, "Yeah, I just took a leak before coming out, and that ain't sweat on my hands. There's ya piss test farker, enjoy it."


Nice setup but needs a better pitch. Professional, enthusiastic handshake, COVID be damned?  Yes.

Then both sides retreat to their lecterns.  Joe pulls a bottle of hand sanitizer from his pocket, and while washing his own hands, leans into the mike for ALL to hear.

"Oh, by the way, Donny, I changed my mind about that drug test.  I filled the cup just before coming on stage and paid the extra for rush turn around.  The courier is now being escorted by the Secret Service to the lab, results will be back in two hours.  Shall we chat until then?"
 
2020-09-28 1:30:32 PM  

freakay: Tuesday night could either be epic, or it could be epic fail.  I am leaning towards epic, because Trump cant help himself.

Biden does not need to go on the heavy offensive, but he needs to stand up to Trump as a bully, and if Trump tries anything to intimidate him, he should throw down like a playground fight with a bully.  Challenge Trump in whatever way possible.  BUT...laugh at him, make fun of him, ridicule him.  Talk about exercise.  Talk about his hair, his weight, his taxes.  Hell talk about his wives, his cheating on his wives.

Ahhh screw it.  Biden should go for the jugular.


Call him "Fat Nixon" the whole time, and mention that "mushroom" factoid?
 
2020-09-28 1:38:10 PM  
Every accusation....
 
2020-09-28 1:38:58 PM  
Because it's a brain addled, specious notion??
 
2020-09-28 1:40:32 PM  
pics.me.meView Full Size
 
2020-09-28 1:41:11 PM  
In trump speak he is saying he plans on being as full of designer coke as he can take before his heart bursts.

One way for Biden to play it would be to have doctors come on stage and take both their blood samples before the show starts.

The fun way would be for Biden to just bring a bottle of urine with him onstage and say "here Don we all know how you like the stuff."  For a bonus I'd suggest taking hair samples.
 
2020-09-28 1:43:11 PM  
1. Splash some water onto your hands just before walking onto the stage
2. Walk over to Trump and give him a hearty handshake
3. Whisper "I just peed into my hands" in his ear
4. ?
5. Profit
 
2020-09-28 1:46:37 PM  

WithinReason: Refusing to take a drug test counts as a fail right?


Piss off.
 
2020-09-28 1:53:08 PM  
i.imgur.comView Full Size
 
2020-09-28 2:03:48 PM  

Skeleton Man: If I was Biden I'd light up a big ole joint on the debate stage.

No reason in particular.


This is the reason -

Cypress Hill - I Wanna Get High (HQ)
Youtube hsojt7iEcTQ
 
2020-09-28 2:09:28 PM  

Hilarity_N_Sues: 1. Splash some water onto your hands just before walking onto the stage
2. Walk over to Trump and give him a hearty handshake
3. Whisper "I just peed into my hands" in his ear
4. ?
5. Profit


fark it, give him a stink palm.

i.ytimg.comView Full Size
 
2020-09-28 2:13:18 PM  

kling_klang_bed: freakay: Tuesday night could either be epic, or it could be epic fail.  I am leaning towards epic, because Trump cant help himself.

Biden does not need to go on the heavy offensive, but he needs to stand up to Trump as a bully, and if Trump tries anything to intimidate him, he should throw down like a playground fight with a bully.  Challenge Trump in whatever way possible.  BUT...laugh at him, make fun of him, ridicule him.  Talk about exercise.  Talk about his hair, his weight, his taxes.  Hell talk about his wives, his cheating on his wives.

Ahhh screw it.  Biden should go for the jugular.

If Trump stands behind him like a back alley rapist like he did Hillary, I hope Biden turns around and puts him in a Vulcan Death Grip for the rest of the debate.


Turn around and say:  "Oh, you're ready to give your sample now?  Go through the curtains and turn left.  Someone will help you"
 
2020-09-28 2:16:48 PM  
Todd Starnes is loving this thread

because he likes piss, you see
 
2020-09-28 2:24:07 PM  

BagofOtters: [i.imgur.com image 850x495]


threadjack

The other night I had a dream that I was babysitting Trump, but he was just like in that image. He immediately started jumping on my new bed. I told him to stop and take off his shoes in the house. He quickly jumped under the covers and says "I won't take off my shoes, I'm embarrassed by my feet" but somehow I convince him to take off his shoes.

His feet were like little dog's paws. I touched one, fascinated, and he giggled. Then I woke up

/end threadjack
 
2020-09-28 2:43:20 PM  
Oh noes, trump is a sneaky peepee goblin. He gunna get Joe's tinkle juice. Ol Joe is slower than that Barrack HUSSAIN!!! Obama so he might succeed this time instead of settling for wee-wee water from an underage russian prostitute defiling a bed Obama may or may not have slept in at some point.
 
2020-09-28 2:45:15 PM  

Martian_Astronomer: Oh man, the QAnon people are probably jizzing themselves with glee at the thought that the whole "elite Democrats are injecting themselves with the adrenochrome of tortured white children" thing has been "confirmed."

I am entirely saturated with shame and self-loathing for the fact that my mind went there, and but I'm also probably not wrong.


projection. accusation. confession.

yeah, that shiat is pretty dark, but I guess that's real too. Trump would know, being a recipient. I mean, c'mon, how else would a man who eats the way he does and does the drugs he does be able to survive that long if not just feeding on the suffering of the innocent?
 
2020-09-28 2:47:11 PM  

UncleDirtNap: xanadian: You're saying Trump wants this to turn into ....a pissing contest?

And judging the event...

[Fark user image 477x268]


i.imgflip.comView Full Size
 
2020-09-28 2:48:44 PM  

Destructor: JustToLetYouKnowFriend: I know you think you are but you're really not funny despite the number of funny votes you get per comment that's not people laughing with you.

Wow, you really are one joyless person. But I get it. The cruelty is the point.


I get it you think you're funny but you're not it's just more cargo conservatism, or rather cargo cult comedy you see the things that are funny you see people's reactions to them and you ape at doing them, but because you lack the fundamental understanding of why things are funny it just never lands for you.
 
2020-09-28 2:55:42 PM  

drewsclues: All this talk of piss has reminded me; we're absolutely getting the pee tape in a few weeks, right?


If trump brings up the urine test, Biden should look him and say "You like urine, don't you?" Then at the camera: "Roll that tape from Russia" and watch the orange one turn white.  Even if he doesn't have the tape, the reaction would be fun.
 
2020-09-28 2:57:51 PM  
Maybe he's setting up an excuse for why he's going to get destroyed on Tuesday.
 
2020-09-28 3:02:53 PM  
Trump will just welch out of his end of the deal, just like he did with Warren and the $1M he promised to charity if she did a genetics test.

The only solution to vindictive bullies like Trump is demand they do their end first, or shut up because they can't pay the bills their mouth is charging.
 
2020-09-28 3:13:22 PM  

Destructor: JustToLetYouKnowFriend: I know you think you are but you're really not funny despite the number of funny votes you get per comment that's not people laughing with you.

Wow, you really are one joyless person. But I get it. The cruelty is the point.


That's pretty rich coming from a nazi apologist.
 
2020-09-28 3:15:41 PM  

Hills-Sachs_Legion: Even if Biden agreed to a drug test, Trump would keep moving the goal posts. "Give us the long-form drug test!"


No, Trump would substitute someone's clean piss for his own and then insist that Joe's test came back positive for all kinds of things.

Which is way Joe shouldn't give him any piss.
 
2020-09-28 3:24:05 PM  

Original: Original Tweet:

[iFrame https://platform.twitter.com/embed/ind​ex.html?dnt=false&embedId=twitter-widg​et-1&frame=false&hideCard=false&hideTh​read=false&id=1310588453277650945&lang​=en&origin=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.fark.com%​2Fcomments%2F10966448%2FGimme-that-pis​s&siteScreenName=fark&theme=light&widg​etsVersion=219d021%3A1598982042171&wid​th=550px]


Gimme those tax returns.
 
2020-09-28 3:27:17 PM  

Medic Zero: That's pretty rich coming from a nazi apologist.


JustToLetYouKnowFriend: I get it you think you're funny


I did not see this coming.

Okay, you two. Are you familiar with Star Trek The Old Series? Because if you're not, I can see how you don't know anything about the Vulcan Death Grip (there is no such thing as was mentioned in "The Enterprise Incident" as a gag). Then it makes a little more sense that the joke failed to land at all. Or you do know what it is, and/or are so sensitive about Union workers, you got triggered.

Anyway, sorry to "ruin" your day. Please, return to the highbrow pee jokes.
 
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