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(Atlas Obscura)   Anything's an "object of intrigue" if you're brave enough   (atlasobscura.com) divider line
    More: Vintage, Espionage, rectal tool kit, espionage artifacts, International Spy Museum, up-close look, Atlas Obscura, height of the Cold War, CIA operatives  
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4091 clicks; posted to Main » on 27 Sep 2020 at 12:30 PM (9 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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TWX [TotalFark]
2020-09-27 9:25:47 AM  
FTFA: ...is the rectal tool kit: a tightly sealed, pill-shaped container full of tools...

Wouldn't it be more accurate to call it a suppository-shaped container?  Pills aren't the size of a man's palm.
 
TWX [TotalFark]
2020-09-27 9:34:54 AM  
Watching the embedded video, a few points of order.  The man is curator of a private museum, not necessarily a retired intelligence officer, so his assertions are likely at-best second-hand.  Are there any credible stories of the thing being carried or successfully used?  It doesn't look like it stays tightly shut, the force to open it looks small.  Would it remain sealed to its *ahem* environment successfully, and how does it not open-up?
 
2020-09-27 9:49:33 AM  
Oh boy.
 
2020-09-27 12:17:41 PM  
didnt watch the video, but damn, i hope that man had really small hands
 
2020-09-27 12:33:37 PM  
I can't even sit down now that I've seen that picture...
 
2020-09-27 12:33:47 PM  
i.redd.itView Full Size
 
2020-09-27 12:33:59 PM  
"...und eff you need to deploy your rectal tool kit, don't mess about. You're already in a tight spot, so squat and make ready. Questions? No, the ladies cannot have two tool kits."
 
2020-09-27 12:35:36 PM  

baka-san: didnt watch the video, but damn, i hope that man had really small hands


If it was that or be tortured or executed, I imagine most people would find the motivation
 
2020-09-27 12:37:28 PM  
"Butt. James Butt."

/im 10, apparently
 
2020-09-27 12:48:30 PM  
Dr. NOPE
Coldfinger
Thunderbutt
Up Her Majesty's Secret Service
Moonbreaker
For Brown Eyes Only
Rectopussy
 
2020-09-27 12:49:46 PM  
Was there a small neighborhood Ace hardware version of the kit, so you could sort of work your way up to the full Home Depot version?
 
2020-09-27 12:54:22 PM  
Oh yeah, I remember that episode of MacGyver!
 
2020-09-27 12:54:33 PM  
"Your mission, should you choose to accept it..."
 
2020-09-27 12:55:24 PM  

Some Junkie Cosmonaut: baka-san: didnt watch the video, but damn, i hope that man had really small hands

If it was that or be tortured or executed, I imagine most people would find the motivation


You'd also have to have it in your ass for all the days you're not arrested.

Probably whilst you sleep as well?

The design doesn't work anyway, it'll obviously come apart when you attempt to remove it. The real version would have a screw cap.
 
2020-09-27 12:58:41 PM  

Ketchuponsteak: The design doesn't work anyway, it'll obviously come apart when you attempt to remove it. The real version would have a screw cap.


We'll just have to defer to your greater experience in sticking things up your butt, I guess.
 
2020-09-27 1:03:15 PM  
The idea that James Bond had one of these up his a$$ in every movie casts the films in a whole new light.
 
2020-09-27 1:03:33 PM  
Objects of Intrigue is the name of my new line of sexual apparati and lubricants.
 
2020-09-27 1:04:01 PM  
Q: "Here you are, Bond. This gadget was designed to get out of a difficult situation."

Bond: "What kind of difficult situation?"

Q: "Getting it out."
 
2020-09-27 1:07:39 PM  

treesloth: Ketchuponsteak: The design doesn't work anyway, it'll obviously come apart when you attempt to remove it. The real version would have a screw cap.

We'll just have to defer to your greater experience in sticking things up your butt, I guess.


In any case, having a capsule full of sharp implements break open in the fundament sounds like a trip to the ER.
 
2020-09-27 1:13:37 PM  
i.imgflip.comView Full Size


I want this on a tee shirt
 
2020-09-27 1:14:39 PM  
Toolkit? Hah!  I keep my entire disaster survival kit up there!
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-09-27 1:15:21 PM  

neeNHA: Dr. NOPE
Coldfinger
Thunderbutt
Up Her Majesty's Secret Service
Moonbreaker
For Brown Eyes Only
Rectopussy


A Quantum of Anus
 
2020-09-27 1:19:34 PM  
"So, again, you're absolutely, positively, sure that this is top secret? Like, no farkin' around here, totally top secret, right?"
 
2020-09-27 1:23:01 PM  
CSB: Took my granddaughter there a couple of years ago when she was 8. She really enjoyed the museum. When she asked me about the "rectal toolkit", I told her Rectal was a brand name like Craftsman from Sears. You have to be a quick thinker around 8 year olds.
 
2020-09-27 1:23:07 PM  

thealgorerhythm: neeNHA: Dr. NOPE
Coldfinger
Thunderbutt
Up Her Majesty's Secret Service
Moonbreaker
For Brown Eyes Only
Rectopussy

A Quantum of Anus


A View to a Balloon Knot

I'm not very good at this.
 
2020-09-27 1:25:15 PM  
I'm suddenly happy about my decision not to join the spy game.
 
2020-09-27 1:26:45 PM  

neeNHA: Dr. NOPE
Coldfinger
Thunderbutt
Up Her Majesty's Secret Service
Moonbreaker
For Brown Eyes Only
Rectopussy


You won the internet today
 
2020-09-27 1:27:49 PM  
This is fun...

Assfull
License to Fill
The Fist is Not Enough
Browneye
The Spy Who Gloved Me
Hemorrhoids Are Forever
From Russia With Lube
 
2020-09-27 1:28:43 PM  

The Pope of Manwich Village: This is fun...

Assfull
License to Fill
The Fist is Not Enough
Browneye
The Spy Who Gloved Me
Hemorrhoids Are Forever
From Russia With Lube


You only cry twice
 
2020-09-27 1:29:20 PM  
[snert] Putin was a spy once.

/[snert]
//you think he still has one of these up his прямая кишка?
///or did trump find it?
 
2020-09-27 1:29:25 PM  
For your AAASSSSSS ONLYYYYY!!
 
2020-09-27 1:31:29 PM  
In the spy world most CIA "spies" are and were not part of the CIA but instead "agents" in the sense

https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/agent
One who acts for, or in the place of, another (the principal), by authority from him/her; someone entrusted to do the business of another

CIA officers recruit foreign nationals as their agents and are responsible for tasking them and somehow collection the information they turn up.

James Bond wasn't real or even slightly realistic.

The easiest way to show that someone is working as a spy is for them to be in possession of specialized spy gear..
 
2020-09-27 1:32:44 PM  

SumoJeb: Toolkit? Hah!  I keep my entire disaster survival kit up there!
[Fark user image 458x608]


Who are people you don't want to meet in a dark alley.
 
2020-09-27 1:33:00 PM  
I'm *REALLY* into EDC.

But not *THAT* into EDC.
 
2020-09-27 1:33:35 PM  

flamark: CSB: Took my granddaughter there a couple of years ago when she was 8. She really enjoyed the museum. When she asked me about the "rectal toolkit", I told her Rectal was a brand name like Craftsman from Sears. You have to be a quick thinker around 8 year olds.


That strategy works right up until she wants to get mommy or daddy a new tool for christmas...
 
2020-09-27 1:33:43 PM  

thealgorerhythm: neeNHA: Dr. NOPE
Coldfinger
Thunderbutt
Up Her Majesty's Secret Service
Moonbreaker
For Brown Eyes Only
Rectopussy

A Quantum of Anus


No Time to Cry
Pantsfall
An Ewww to a Pill
 
2020-09-27 1:33:43 PM  

Bslim: For your AAASSSSSS ONLYYYYY!!


I'm pretty sure I watched that one.
 
2020-09-27 1:35:46 PM  
Hahaha!

Sphincter
Tomorrow Never Dialates
The Man With The Grody Gun
 
2020-09-27 1:36:03 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-09-27 1:41:50 PM  
You ever watch a movie where the hero makes some implausible escape and think "he sure pulled that out of his ass" ? Now you know maybe he actually did.
 
2020-09-27 1:43:21 PM  

The Pope of Manwich Village: Hahaha!

Sphincter
Tomorrow Never Dialates
The Man With The Grody Gun


Ass-in-your Royale
 
2020-09-27 1:44:51 PM  

treesloth: Ketchuponsteak: The design doesn't work anyway, it'll obviously come apart when you attempt to remove it. The real version would have a screw cap.

We'll just have to defer to your greater experience in sticking things up your butt, I guess.


I have little experience, which is why I know, that my butthole, is tight enough that it would separate if I pulled on one end.

/Should have claimed I did indeed, as a former CIA agent,
//anon would have bought it.
 
2020-09-27 1:50:11 PM  
The Brits were hardcore. Their keister kit was farking KNURLED!
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-09-27 1:52:29 PM  

Ketchuponsteak: treesloth: Ketchuponsteak: The design doesn't work anyway, it'll obviously come apart when you attempt to remove it. The real version would have a screw cap.

We'll just have to defer to your greater experience in sticking things up your butt, I guess.

I have little experience, which is why I know, that my butthole, is tight enough that it would separate if I pulled on one end.

/Should have claimed I did indeed, as a former CIA agent,
//anon would have bought it.


if your plan is to reach in there and grab it im thinking its not as tight as you're claiming.
if theres enough already out to grab i bet you dont need to.
 
2020-09-27 2:01:13 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
Yeah I've had enough for today
 
2020-09-27 2:07:35 PM  
"Object of Intrigue" is the name of my Steely Dan cover band.
 
2020-09-27 2:22:51 PM  
media.vlipsy.comView Full Size

The tip is the worst
 
2020-09-27 2:24:00 PM  

oopsboom: Ketchuponsteak: treesloth: Ketchuponsteak: The design doesn't work anyway, it'll obviously come apart when you attempt to remove it. The real version would have a screw cap.

We'll just have to defer to your greater experience in sticking things up your butt, I guess.

I have little experience, which is why I know, that my butthole, is tight enough that it would separate if I pulled on one end.

/Should have claimed I did indeed, as a former CIA agent,
//anon would have bought it.

if your plan is to reach in there and grab it im thinking its not as tight as you're claiming.
if theres enough already out to grab i bet you dont need to.


If it's sticking out, would it not be visible during a strip search?
 
2020-09-27 2:34:15 PM  

oopsboom: Ketchuponsteak: treesloth: Ketchuponsteak: The design doesn't work anyway, it'll obviously come apart when you attempt to remove it. The real version would have a screw cap.

We'll just have to defer to your greater experience in sticking things up your butt, I guess.

I have little experience, which is why I know, that my butthole, is tight enough that it would separate if I pulled on one end.

/Should have claimed I did indeed, as a former CIA agent,
//anon would have bought it.

if your plan is to reach in there and grab it im thinking its not as tight as you're claiming.
if theres enough already out to grab i bet you dont need to.


You're overthinking it, broh. It auto-deploys when/if the carrier is frightened.
 
2020-09-27 2:54:36 PM  

neeNHA: Dr. NOPE
Coldfinger
Thunderbutt
Up Her Majesty's Secret Service
Moonbreaker
For Brown Eyes Only
Rectopussy


From Russia With Lube
 
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