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(CBS Sports)   It's Week 3 of the NFL, and top matchups include Rams-Bills, Raiders-Patriots, and Cowboys-Seahawks. Will players avoid getting injured this week? What game are you watching? Find out at 1:00 PM ET on FOX and CBS   (cbssports.com) divider line
    More: Live, Trigraph, American football positions, The Practice, Patriot, Joe Flacco, Lara Flynn Boyle, Desmond Trufant, practice squad  
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194 clicks; posted to Discussion » and Sports » on 27 Sep 2020 at 12:00 PM (3 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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2020-09-27 12:27:54 AM  
Go Hawks.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-09-27 12:32:14 AM  
Go Steelers!
 
2020-09-27 9:34:06 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size


\we're usually not terrible against Oakland/LA/Vegas
\\but they usually aren't halfway decent
 
2020-09-27 9:37:56 AM  
Come hither, Kay Adams.

thespun.comView Full Size
 
2020-09-27 10:57:58 AM  
Go Steelers!

I find it highly amusing that whoever's been submitting these threads refuses to name the Steelers as playing.
Haters gonna hate.  :-D
 
2020-09-27 11:11:10 AM  
Colts vs Ex-Colts @ 4 PM
 
2020-09-27 11:13:41 AM  

jaylectricity: Come hither, Kay Adams.

[thespun.com image 775x465]


That could be late-90s Jennifer Anniston
 
2020-09-27 11:50:47 AM  
... Washington Football Team @ Cleveland Browns ends in a tie, so the Browns go 1-1-1.

Season is cancelled immediately thereafter so we can have a Perfect Season Parade.
 
2020-09-27 12:02:52 PM  
pbs.twimg.comView Full Size
 
2020-09-27 12:05:45 PM  
Someone on the Falcons tested positive for COVID yesterday. This could end badly.

/also GO BEARS
 
2020-09-27 12:13:20 PM  

abhorrent1: Someone on the Falcons tested positive for COVID yesterday. This could end badly.

/also GO BEARS


They blow a 40-point lead?

In all seriousness, I know somebody had week three or four before we had a shutdown of football.
 
2020-09-27 12:14:37 PM  

abhorrent1: Someone on the Falcons tested positive for COVID yesterday. This could end badly.

/also GO BEARS


The daily tests have an 18% chance of false positives, but only a 3% chance of two false positives in a row. Apparently he tested positive on Fridays test and negative on yesterdays test
 
2020-09-27 12:17:19 PM  

lindalouwho: Go Steelers!

I find it highly amusing that whoever's been submitting these threads refuses to name the Steelers as playing.
Haters gonna hate.  :-D


I wish FARK would put up individual threads for individual games.  Pick and choose which thread to participate in, then you'd get to participate in a thread with Texans and Steelers fans, and you'd all be watching the same game, and could discuss how the officiating is balanced, talk smack back and forth,  You could hopefully avoid the bitter Ravens/Bengals fans who just want to dump on the Steelers, or some moron who just saw a single play on RedZone and thinks they understand the flow of the game, or who has and hasn't performed well.

Of course this would benefit me, as I'm a New England fan, and it's just boring having whiny Colts/Manning/Jets/Dolphins... etc. fans calling us cheaters every three seconds.

I doubt very much I'll make an appearance in this thread once the game starts, as I can't bother to follow all the games at once.
 
2020-09-27 12:19:35 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size



Got my new 'Allen to Diggs' first TD shirt. I won't be around for the first games, I'm headed to a friends house to watch the Bills game. I'll update Jakes then. Right now, Minshew leads. 

Some fun discussion material... since I've 'categorized' all the jakes over history finally, I can show some interesting info, who is the worst, consistently. To earn a jake remember, means a loss, and at least a turn over. This is the top 10 sorted by total.

Fark user imageView Full Size


Top 10 by number of 1st place finishes:
Fark user imageView Full Size


This is turning out to be a really fun project. I can't wait to dig in more. 

GO BILLS! See you guys around 4pm
 
2020-09-27 12:21:11 PM  
Cam Newton vs Derek Carr will be interesting to watch.

Assuming the Raiders D doesn't revert to their old strategy of "we only play three quarters."

[Narrator: it's not that old]
 
2020-09-27 12:21:59 PM  

lindalouwho: Go Steelers!

I find it highly amusing that whoever's been submitting these threads refuses to name the Steelers as playing.
Haters gonna hate.  :-D


Fark doesn't glorify rapists like Rapey Ben Rapistberger.
 
2020-09-27 12:23:57 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
SKOL. HORN.
 
2020-09-27 12:24:24 PM  

mikaloyd: abhorrent1: Someone on the Falcons tested positive for COVID yesterday. This could end badly.

/also GO BEARS

The daily tests have an 18% chance of false positives, but only a 3% chance of two false positives in a row. Apparently he tested positive on Fridays test and negative on yesterdays test


Jay Glazer said on pregame that he had three tests in the last two days. One negative, two positives.
Not sure if you can spread it before testing positive but if you can, and those tests are correct, this could get bad fast.

Or it could be nothing. Guess we'll see.
 
2020-09-27 12:24:34 PM  
LOL FOX NFL PRESHOW DIGGING ON LOINS!

/Factory of Sadness laughs at your supposed heartbreak
 
2020-09-27 12:25:19 PM  

phimuskapsi: [Fark user image 759x711]


Got my new 'Allen to Diggs' first TD shirt. I won't be around for the first games, I'm headed to a friends house to watch the Bills game. I'll update Jakes then. Right now, Minshew leads. 

Some fun discussion material... since I've 'categorized' all the jakes over history finally, I can show some interesting info, who is the worst, consistently. To earn a jake remember, means a loss, and at least a turn over. This is the top 10 sorted by total.

[Fark user image 850x146]

Top 10 by number of 1st place finishes:
[Fark user image 850x140]

This is turning out to be a really fun project. I can't wait to dig in more. 

GO BILLS! See you guys around 4pm


That shirt is incredible.

As a Jake purist I think it should only be awarded to those who lose a game whilst having the most turnovers of the week.
 
2020-09-27 12:25:49 PM  

Ker_Thwap: or some moron who just saw a single play on RedZone and thinks they understand the flow of the game


Hey!  I resemble that remark!
 
2020-09-27 12:28:38 PM  
I'm just gonna keep betting on the Rams to win straight-up as underdogs until it stops making me money.

phimuskapsi: This is turning out to be a really fun project. I can't wait to dig in more.


What is "total Jakes" and/or how are you breaking ties?
Also, I don't remember anyone in the Jake Era going over 100.

Don't take this as saying your efforts are wasted, but I have an archive of the official Jake winners from 2011-2018 (and related useless stats)
 
2020-09-27 12:28:38 PM  

cameroncrazy1984: phimuskapsi: [Fark user image 759x711]


Got my new 'Allen to Diggs' first TD shirt. I won't be around for the first games, I'm headed to a friends house to watch the Bills game. I'll update Jakes then. Right now, Minshew leads. 

Some fun discussion material... since I've 'categorized' all the jakes over history finally, I can show some interesting info, who is the worst, consistently. To earn a jake remember, means a loss, and at least a turn over. This is the top 10 sorted by total.

[Fark user image 850x146]

Top 10 by number of 1st place finishes:
[Fark user image 850x140]

This is turning out to be a really fun project. I can't wait to dig in more. 

GO BILLS! See you guys around 4pm

That shirt is incredible.

As a Jake purist I think it should only be awarded to those who lose a game whilst having the most turnovers of the week.


I love this shirt. The best part was when I figured out that it isn't a mouth on the stick figure, but Josh Allen's mustache. *chefs kiss*

It does work that way, it just them into a top 4 based on those numbers/values. Every 'jake pos 4' is 4 or worse, so it could be inflated. Going by jake wins is how I judge it. Though, check out Jameis' numbers. He has nearly a 50% jake win rate when he qualifies.
 
2020-09-27 12:30:24 PM  

null: lindalouwho: Go Steelers!

I find it highly amusing that whoever's been submitting these threads refuses to name the Steelers as playing.
Haters gonna hate.  :-D

Fark doesn't glorify rapists like Rapey Ben Rapistberger.


I'm glad you have that, because seeing Pittsburgh make biatches out of Cleveland over and over again has to be frustrating. Year three of Baker Mayfield and the winningest QB at the Factory of Sadness is still Ben Roethisberger. Enjoy the games today.
 
2020-09-27 12:30:25 PM  
Go Falcons!
 
2020-09-27 12:31:31 PM  

RminusQ: I'm just gonna keep betting on the Rams to win straight-up as underdogs until it stops making me money.

phimuskapsi: This is turning out to be a really fun project. I can't wait to dig in more.

What is "total Jakes" and/or how are you breaking ties?
Also, I don't remember anyone in the Jake Era going over 100.

Don't take this as saying your efforts are wasted, but I have an archive of the official Jake winners from 2011-2018 (and related useless stats)


I prefer the pornography definition, you know a Jake when you see one.
 
2020-09-27 12:32:56 PM  

Adolf Oliver Nipples: null: lindalouwho: Go Steelers!

I find it highly amusing that whoever's been submitting these threads refuses to name the Steelers as playing.
Haters gonna hate.  :-D

Fark doesn't glorify rapists like Rapey Ben Rapistberger.

I'm glad you have that, because seeing Pittsburgh make biatches out of Cleveland over and over again has to be frustrating. Year three of Baker Mayfield and the winningest QB at the Factory of Sadness is still Ben Roethisberger. Enjoy the games today.


img.ifunny.coView Full Size
 
2020-09-27 12:33:00 PM  
Footbaw
 
2020-09-27 12:34:58 PM  

Peach_Fuz: Go Falcons!


Good luck. You're going against Maserati Mitch today!

/cries
 
2020-09-27 12:35:39 PM  
Sony Michel...this is your big breakout week, right? Right?
 
2020-09-27 12:36:50 PM  

bass555: Sony Michel...this is your big breakout week, right? Right?


[says the same thing, except about Baker Mayfield]
 
2020-09-27 12:37:56 PM  

RminusQ: What is "total Jakes" and/or how are you breaking ties?
Also, I don't remember anyone in the Jake Era going over 100.

Don't take this as saying your efforts are wasted, but I have an archive of the official Jake winners from 2011-2018 (and related useless stats)


Total is how many they've qualified for, regardless of position.

This is tiny (you'll have to zoom). But these are the "1.16's". There are 4 games in which 4 qb's had 7 turnovers. I have all NFL stats dating from 2008 to 2020, including post-seasons.
Fark user image

Tie breakers are broken with the 'TruJake', a formula I invented:
History +20% of score - ((Jake Pos 1 * 0.65) + (JP2 * 0.20) + (JP3 * 0.10) + (JP4 * 0.05) * (1 + (raw jp total/number of games))) * 10. Max of 200 pts.

Jakes +50% of score - Jake score * 5Max of 500
Sacks +10% of score - Sacks * 10Max of 100
QBR  +30% of score - ((1 / qbr) * 158.3) * 1.895Max of 300.
TD -10% of score - TDs * 10Max of 100. Subtracts.

Add em all up, add 75. If birthday, add 10000 lol. OK, I'm headed out the door! Back later!
 
2020-09-27 12:40:55 PM  

bass555: Sony Michel...this is your big breakout week, right? Right?


He flashed as a rookie, and caught a few balls out of the backfield, like he did in college.  Then he dropped every ball in the NFL possible, unless it was a gift wrapped lob out in space.  Then he got hurt, and there was the whole talk about it takes two years for a NE back to start catching balls.  Before last season, he had late surgery, he started the year slow, and slowly gained strength and power... kind of as the team was fading at the end of the season.  He still dropped every possible pass attempted to him, and gummed up their entire offense as he could only be put in the game on straight running plays with a fullback...

This year... I guess they haven't cut him yet, so Bill sees something, or is at least going to give him a real chance.  I'm not sure he's even worth it as a situational player, as he doesn't shine in any one situation even.  So, no excuses this year, he'll thrive or get replaced.  I'm not overly hopeful.
 
2020-09-27 12:41:38 PM  

phimuskapsi: RminusQ: What is "total Jakes" and/or how are you breaking ties?
Also, I don't remember anyone in the Jake Era going over 100.

Don't take this as saying your efforts are wasted, but I have an archive of the official Jake winners from 2011-2018 (and related useless stats)

Total is how many they've qualified for, regardless of position.

This is tiny (you'll have to zoom). But these are the "1.16's". There are 4 games in which 4 qb's had 7 turnovers. I have all NFL stats dating from 2008 to 2020, including post-seasons.
[Fark user image image 850x41]

Tie breakers are broken with the 'TruJake', a formula I invented:
History +20% of score - ((Jake Pos 1 * 0.65) + (JP2 * 0.20) + (JP3 * 0.10) + (JP4 * 0.05) * (1 + (raw jp total/number of games))) * 10. Max of 200 pts.

Jakes +50% of score - Jake score * 5. Max of 500
Sacks +10% of score - Sacks * 10. Max of 100
QBR  +30% of score - ((1 / qbr) * 158.3) * 1.895. Max of 300.
TD -10% of score - TDs * 10. Max of 100. Subtracts.

Add em all up, add 75. If birthday, add 10000 lol. OK, I'm headed out the door! Back later!


https://www.pro-football-reference.com​/friv/birthdays.cgi
 
2020-09-27 12:42:45 PM  
How did we cycle back to endless Draft Kings/Fan Duel commercials? I thought we were done with those, now they're crushing broadcasts again.
 
2020-09-27 12:46:31 PM  

Adolf Oliver Nipples: How did we cycle back to endless Draft Kings/Fan Duel commercials? I thought we were done with those, now they're crushing broadcasts again.


They are the only things making money in this economy?
 
2020-09-27 12:46:52 PM  
Here we go Stillers Here We Go
*clap* *clap*

And I'm not saying the Steelers are on the same level as the other two teams but who hates the Texans at the scheduling office? Chefs away, Ratbirds, Steelers away to start the season?
 
2020-09-27 12:50:30 PM  
And we have Tits - Vikes. SKOL!
 
2020-09-27 12:51:49 PM  
Go Birds...

i.imgur.comView Full Size


Also, no Rob Riggle? The evil has been banished?
 
2020-09-27 12:52:34 PM  
I'm at work for the next 5 hours or so, so I won't be able to ruin the thread for thwap. On a positive note, I get next Friday off for coming in, so it works out.

/Go Bucs
//But not Brady
///Not even sure who we're playing
 
2020-09-27 12:54:22 PM  

eddievercetti: Go Birds...

[i.imgur.com image 500x255] [View Full Size image _x_]

Also, no Rob Riggle? The evil has been banished?


He's not there for 2020, is all I can find on Wiki.
 
2020-09-27 12:55:11 PM  

Ethertap: ///Not even sure who we're playing


Denver in Mile High (late game)
 
2020-09-27 12:56:01 PM  

ariseatex: eddievercetti: Go Birds...

[i.imgur.com image 500x255] [View Full Size image _x_]

Also, no Rob Riggle? The evil has been banished?

He's not there for 2020, is all I can find on Wiki.


His abysmal ripoff of Expedition Unknown went down in flames fast, maybe it just hasn't been a good year for him.


And it looks like the Bears and a Falcons are gonna play?
 
2020-09-27 12:56:42 PM  

eddievercetti: Go Birds...

[i.imgur.com image 500x255] [View Full Size image _x_]

Also, no Rob Riggle? The evil has been banished?


I'm glad I'm not the only one that has never even smirked at anything he's done.
 
2020-09-27 12:56:57 PM  
How I accidentally robbed the pizza guy last night (before kickoff)

So I'm helping my sister move from one house to another. We are in her old house and she has an online class. So she is in a back room trying to do class things for a couple hours while I noisily interupt class doing moving things.

She orders and pays for pizza and a tip and tells me that I need to answer the door since she will be in class , muting the mic and apologizing for my noisiness.

So by and by a Pizza Hut car shows up outside and I don a mask and go to the door being as social distancey as I can while receiving a pizza. I hadnt had Pizza Hut in eons and was looking forward to something different.  The guy comes up to the door that Ive opened holding one of those insulating containers and perched on top are the two tiniest cutest shaker bottles you ever saw. Ones parmesan and one is red pepper flakes. I thought "cool Pizza hut is being kinda classy giving that stuff away in shakers"

So the guy confirms the name and unvelcros the insulation box and starts trying to jiggle two pizza boxes out of the insulation box.But the two tiny shaker bottles fall over in the middle of this action and roll off the insulation boxes and bounce off the cardboard pizza boxes and are headed for freedom. Now I am as old as Methusulah and bigger than a fatted calf but my reflexes and anticipation are still surprisingly good. So I step forward and catch both of the shakers mid air. The Pizza guy said "Uh Thanks"

So he puzzles the pizza boxes out of the insulation box then goes to hand me the pizzas and I put both shakers in my left hand and take the pizzas. Then he needs a signature and I set down the pizza and I sign the receipt and he'sstill saying "Uh thanks" . I ask him if his tip is on the bill and he says "Yeah" So I say goodnight and close the door and start heading for the dining room to auger into the pizza As one does.

In a few minutes Sis comes in on a short break from class to grab a slic or two. She sees the shakers and asks "Did you buy those?" And I'm all "NO they came free ith the pizza, pretty classy huh?"

So she grabs the receipt and checks it and says "Huh, They usually charge 99 cents each for those"

I probably ate two more slices before it dawned on me that I had just strong arm robbed the Piza Guy for 2 bucks worth of condiments.
 
2020-09-27 12:57:14 PM  

Your_Huckleberry: ariseatex: eddievercetti: Go Birds...

[i.imgur.com image 500x255] [View Full Size image _x_]

Also, no Rob Riggle? The evil has been banished?

He's not there for 2020, is all I can find on Wiki.

His abysmal ripoff of Expedition Unknown went down in flames fast, maybe it just hasn't been a good year for him.


And it looks like the Bears and a Falcons are gonna play?


He did good on Holey Moley this summer, actually got a few genuine laughs from me.  (Mind you it was a few over 13 episodes.  I mainly watch Holey Moley to watch people fall down.)
 
2020-09-27 12:57:17 PM  
OK, Pittsburgh. Time to end Bill O'Brien's time on Planet Hooston.
 
2020-09-27 12:57:29 PM  
Huh, bad news for Bungles fans, Joe Burrow's birthday is Dec. 10, making him eligible for a True Jake in future seasons.
 
2020-09-27 12:58:06 PM  

null: lindalouwho: Go Steelers!

I find it highly amusing that whoever's been submitting these threads refuses to name the Steelers as playing.
Haters gonna hate.  :-D

Fark doesn't glorify rapists like Rapey Ben Rapistberger.


You misspelled Rustingberger.
 
2020-09-27 12:58:53 PM  
Do we know who won the Jakes the last 2 weeks?
 
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