Skip to content
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Smithsonian Magazine)   Johnny Appleseed didn't plant his apple trees so that the apples would be eaten -- he planted them so the apples could be made into booze   (smithsonianmag.com) divider line
    More: Vintage, Apple, special apple tree, last physicalevidence of John Chapman, acres of apple orchards, hard apple cider, modern perception of the apple, America's western frontier, apple seeds  
•       •       •

2472 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Sep 2020 at 11:05 PM (9 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



Voting Results (Smartest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

 
2020-09-26 11:07:10 PM  
19 votes:

Al Roker's Forecast: Johnny Appleseed trees all have directive in their genetic code to make the foundation of their fruit.

They're the apple bottom genes.





Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-09-26 11:33:40 PM  
10 votes:
I've read elsewhere it was a property scam. In the new territories you could claim a patch of land by establishing an orchard. He went around planting apple trees where he could, claimed the land, and later sold them to new settlers.
 
2020-09-26 11:14:57 PM  
10 votes:
Fark user imageView Full Size


/booze is a big part of American culture.
 
2020-09-26 11:18:12 PM  
9 votes:
Quoth the wiki -

Scumble is made from apples. Well, mainly apples, which in no way guarantees a low alcohol content. Scumble is drunk in thimblefuls, is strong enough to be used for cleaning spoons, and should not be put in a metal container or allowed to come into contact with water. Someone who can drink a lot of scumble all at once without ill effects is probably not really human (see Mort). Authentic scumble is made in Lancre, in a secret still owned and operated by Nanny Ogg. Nanny welcomed King Verence II's decree of prohibition, as she reckoned it would leave her with no competitors.

She does have many small competitors, most using freeze-distillation like some Applejack. Other producers ferment pure apple juice and freeze high-proof popskull out of it, a notorious beverage down into the plains. Nanny Ogg will only list her ingredients as "apples, mostly"; her brandy manages to be much more potent than normal brandy. A well-ordered still can increase the proof and eliminate unpleasant by-products, and a few minor additions from a Witch's pharmacopoeia can work wonders. Nanny Ogg's prowess with alcoholic beverages is well-known -- as is her product, known everywhere that men fall over backwards into ditches as 'suicider'.
The best apples for making scumble are: Lancre Blackheart, the Golden Disagreeable, and the Green Billet.
Related Roundworld drinks : Calvados (strong apple brandy distilled in Normandy), Apple Brandy and Scrumpy (which have long been produced in Somerset), and Applejack (made in North America) and a flattering imitation by Ales by Mail Nanny Ogg's Scumble Cider.
 
2020-09-26 9:54:11 PM  
9 votes:
I had no idea there was such a thing as freeze distillation until I fell down a wiki rabbit hole on the colonists and their devotion to getting booze out of apples in the form of applejack.
 
2020-09-26 11:27:32 PM  
7 votes:

KarmicDisaster: And the apples they used were more like crabapples.


Yeah.  You made booze from them because there was no way in hell you could actually eat them.
 
2020-09-26 11:23:42 PM  
7 votes:
Yum.
i.redd.itView Full Size
 
2020-09-26 11:13:22 PM  
6 votes:
It never made sense to me that Johnny was just spreading apple seeds for the lulz. This makes sense now.
 
2020-09-26 11:17:20 PM  
5 votes:
booze and tobacco built our country.
 
2020-09-26 11:09:14 PM  
5 votes:

LordOfThePings: She gave you a non-working number with six digits. How do you like them apples?

[Fark user image 625x415]


Eh, that's 7 digits.  555-1294 looks like.
 
2020-09-27 6:59:47 AM  
4 votes:

minorshan: way south: [Fark user image image 124x204]

/booze is a big part of American culture.

Evangelicals with their preaching of  (often) no booze or caffeine no dancing no fun is is also unAmerican.

I'd bet the reason Johnny Appleseed is told as an american fable, as well as the mind bending fable that apple pie (Europe via Asia) is an American invention like baseball (british), but homebrewed booze is evil is via uneducated conservative Christians. Appropriation is our jam. But a lot of that shameful jam is thanks the fundamentalists that first conquered this land.

It's really hard to write a simple thought like that and avoid a conqueror's words.

/white down to my daughter's of the revolution catholic genes
//and half protestant genes
///and atheist "lifestyle", required the 3rd slash



Appropriation is everyone's jam. Culture begets culture as each new group of people gathers its collective knowledge and spins new fables from old. Sometimes it's no ones fault, they just didn't bother to ask where a story started. Then some pencil neck geek comes along to try and connect the dots, but who the fark knows if they've even got that much right. They might think two recurring ideas are linked when it's just a coincidence. They might take something centuries old and stop short, giving it to the last documented source.

As for alcohol/prohibition, It's another complicated issue.  You start with a good intention and then the mechanics of politics shoves things way out of hand.
Alcohol was (Still is...) associated with domestic violence. Women get the right to vote in the 20's and prohibition follows soon after.  A new class of politically active people, a cunning sales pitch with the best of intentions. Empty the prisons and fill the churches, it was a spectacular plan!

...Supported by naive groups who either didn't understand politics or benefitted from a mess They thought they could control.  Some just wanted power and this filled the pockets of politicians and criminals alike.
They happily appropriated a cultural/religious purity thing and turned it into a violent drug war.
Many think this was a new thing but it's a tale as old as humanity.
 
2020-09-27 3:00:09 AM  
4 votes:
Not exactly news. Planting apple orchards was the easiest, lowest-cost way of proving a claim and multiplying the value of the land so it could be sold. What's more, cider was what people drank. More than beer. More than rum. Certainly more than coffee or tea. In some places it was used as money the same way whiskey was.

John Chapman was a brilliant businessman who gave away all the money he made raising apple trees and selling land. It's a fascinating story.
 
2020-09-27 1:52:15 AM  
4 votes:

sex_and_drugs_for_ian: wildcardjack: I've read elsewhere it was a property scam. In the new territories you could claim a patch of land by establishing an orchard. He went around planting apple trees where he could, claimed the land, and later sold them to new settlers.

God, I hope that's true.


It is true. But it is also not as one-note as it sounds.

Was Johnny Appleseed Really a Real Person?
Youtube jXOtcdJaZ5c
 
2020-09-26 11:32:39 PM  
4 votes:

Al Roker's Forecast: invictus2:
[Fark user image 480x360]
italie:
Wit da fuuuuuuuuuuuurrrrr
[Fark user image image 298x385]
Johnny Appleseed was scared and weak because he couldn't grow a pear.


You magnificent bastich.
 
2020-09-26 11:30:35 PM  
4 votes:

Eravior: He was doing the Lord's work.


Little known fact: Johnny Appleseed was an adherent of Emanuel Swedenborg as was Helen Keller.
 
2020-09-26 11:20:03 PM  
4 votes:
He was doing the Lord's work.
 
2020-09-27 10:46:00 AM  
3 votes:

nemisonic: Everybody know that Subby. Grapes only grow in California or France or Argentina- Apples grow everywhere.



I grew up in Michigan. We had a small vineyard. Concord grapes. We made wine every once in a while, but the grapes were also good for eating on their own (sweet outer skin, tart inside).

I had to trim and harvest those grapes for 15+ years. They were definitely growing in abundance here in Michigan, which is about as far from California, France, or Argentina as you can get.

We have several big wineries and vineyards in the state. Michigan wine may not be world-famous, but it's not Boone's Farm or Ripple, either.

We also have a whole lot of apple orchards and some of the finest cider-- hard or not-- in the country.
 
2020-09-27 7:11:31 AM  
3 votes:

KarmicDisaster: And the apples they used were more like crabapples.


Well crabapples were used to add tannin , tartness to the cider and I believe that the high pectin content can be used as a clearing agent so that hard cider has its traditional clear appearance  .
 
2020-09-27 5:45:48 AM  
3 votes:

sex_and_drugs_for_ian: wildcardjack: I've read elsewhere it was a property scam. In the new territories you could claim a patch of land by establishing an orchard. He went around planting apple trees where he could, claimed the land, and later sold them to new settlers.

God, I hope that's true.


It's...truth-adjacent.   Most territories at the time had claim requirements...that part is correct.  Usually 40 trees.  His business was raising apple saplings and selling them to would-be settlers, so they could meet the governmental requirements.

He did claim large tracts himself, iirc...by planting said saplings, so he could sell them.  No scam, really, just savvy.

Basically he had a business model akin to selling shovels to gold rushers in 1849, and his shovels grew themselves.
 
2020-09-27 12:37:58 AM  
3 votes:
We have a bumper crop up here in the mountains this year, frost during flowering eliminated the crop last couple years. It's neat to pull the jeep up to a tree and just grab a snack. Get a box of red hots candies, core an apple without putting a hole in the bottom, fill the hole with red hots, put it in a bowl, cover with plastic wrap, and nuke for a few minutes, yum!  Cider wise its roughly one regular size milk crate full per gallon of raw juice. I used a juiceman rather than a press, mainly cause i dont have a press. 5 gallons in a carboy, a package of english cider yeast from the brew shop, and its the same as making beer. Keep separate equipment for the cider as beer yeast and cider yeast dont play nice together. Keg or bottle just like beer.
Never tried jacking or distilling my cider. The kicker that makes it stand out is to brew up a package of celestial seasonings apple spice tea, and add it when youre priming to bottle...good stuff if a bit labor intensive...
 
2020-09-26 11:19:18 PM  
3 votes:
Anyone who hasn't made apfelwein absolutely should. It's cheap, easy and delicious. Especially with a cinnamon stick and a little nutmeg thrown in the fermenter.
 
2020-09-26 11:14:45 PM  
3 votes:
Applejack baby!

It was one of the early on big boozes in the US.
 
2020-09-27 11:58:17 AM  
2 votes:
th.bing.comView Full Size

Seen that episode.
 
2020-09-27 5:54:41 AM  
2 votes:

way south: [Fark user image image 124x204]

/booze is a big part of American culture.


Evangelicals with their preaching of  (often) no booze or caffeine no dancing no fun is is also unAmerican.

I'd bet the reason Johnny Appleseed is told as an american fable, as well as the mind bending fable that apple pie (Europe via Asia) is an American invention like baseball (british), but homebrewed booze is evil is via uneducated conservative Christians. Appropriation is our jam. But a lot of that shameful jam is thanks the fundamentalists that first conquered this land.

It's really hard to write a simple thought like that and avoid a conqueror's words.

/white down to my daughter's of the revolution catholic genes
//and half protestant genes
///and atheist "lifestyle", required the 3rd slash
 
2020-09-26 11:47:57 PM  
2 votes:

sex_and_drugs_for_ian: wildcardjack: I've read elsewhere it was a property scam. In the new territories you could claim a patch of land by establishing an orchard. He went around planting apple trees where he could, claimed the land, and later sold them to new settlers.

God, I hope that's true.


d28hgpri8am2if.cloudfront.netView Full Size
 
2020-09-26 11:34:39 PM  
2 votes:
applejack
Youtube XEHXeCVp6_Y

AppleJack eh?

/I talk to the apple trees?
 
2020-09-26 11:32:41 PM  
2 votes:
The Simpsons - Ned Flanders: Apple Cider vs. Apple Juice.
Youtube L1BfF77Pvio
 
2020-09-26 10:36:46 PM  
2 votes:
Johnny Appleseed trees all have directive in their genetic code to make the foundation of their fruit.

They're the apple bottom genes.
 
2020-09-26 10:25:32 PM  
2 votes:
I'm ok with this
 
2020-09-26 9:28:21 PM  
2 votes:
She gave you a non-working number with six digits. How do you like them apples?

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-09-28 8:29:53 AM  
1 vote:

johnphantom: Did you know apple trees are cloned and not naturally grown from seed? They are genetically at a standstill and why they need to use so many chemicals constantly sprayed on the apples


It's more that they don't breed true from seed.  The various cultivars have to be propagated using grafts because planting a Golden Delicious seed won't produce Golden Delicious.  John Wesley used apples as an example of why two holy parents wouldn't be able to produce holy children
 
2020-09-27 4:24:22 PM  
1 vote:

wildcardjack: I've read elsewhere it was a property scam. In the new territories you could claim a patch of land by establishing an orchard. He went around planting apple trees where he could, claimed the land, and later sold them to new settlers.


I've also heard this. You needed to have a certain number of apple trees and acres for your claim to be recognized. He helped fast-track a lot of settlers, according to this version of the tale.
 
2020-09-27 3:40:41 PM  
1 vote:
Any mention of his searing hatred of Paul Bunyan?
 
2020-09-27 11:01:44 AM  
1 vote:

KarmicDisaster: And the apples they used were more like crabapples.


Wild apples are smaller than apples grown for fresh eating.  The size is because they are not pruned and cared for like apple trees in orchards.

We have dozens of ancient apple trees on our place in upstate NY.  Some are wild but some were planted and then neglected for the last 50 years. We're trying to get the best ones pruned and freed from the brush and trees that have grown up around them.

Wild apples are excellent for making jellies, and we've done that a lot, which our friends and family appreciate.  They are also the best for making hard cider (more complexity of flavor than eating apples, they say) and this year we're starting to do that.  We bought an apple crusher and a small press and we are collecting apples from the best trees.

My son the chef told us about freeze distillation.  Apparently he and his roommate at the CIA made applejack that way.
 
2020-09-27 9:13:50 AM  
1 vote:
When I was an undergrad the university allowed student to pick over the experimental orchards after the researchers had what they needed.  We'd haul bushel baskets full to the local cider press where they'd press them for "free". Free meaning they kept half the juice.  Being college students, we didn't buy yeast, just let the juice ferment naturally inside our rooms.  Once done fermenting, you put the jugs outside to freeze (Ithaca, NY winters started early).  A lot of work, but almost free applejack.
 
2020-09-27 4:42:37 AM  
1 vote:
I got 7L of apple brandy out of our two apple trees last year (which is more than usual). And now this year, barely enough apples to pick.
 
2020-09-27 2:26:43 AM  
1 vote:

Billy Bathsalt: Eravior: He was doing the Lord's work.

Little known fact: Johnny Appleseed was an adherent of Emanuel Swedenborg as was Helen Keller.


well yeah, Swedenborg built one of her very first airplanes.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-09-27 12:47:45 AM  
1 vote:
Your point being?
 
2020-09-26 11:48:52 PM  
1 vote:
Came for (mostly apples). Leaving satisfied.
 
2020-09-26 11:33:01 PM  
1 vote:

i.r.id10t: Quoth the wiki -

Scumble is made from apples. Well, mainly apples, which in no way guarantees a low alcohol content. Scumble is drunk in thimblefuls, is strong enough to be used for cleaning spoons, and should not be put in a metal container or allowed to come into contact with water. Someone who can drink a lot of scumble all at once without ill effects is probably not really human (see Mort). Authentic scumble is made in Lancre, in a secret still owned and operated by Nanny Ogg. Nanny welcomed King Verence II's decree of prohibition, as she reckoned it would leave her with no competitors.

She does have many small competitors, most using freeze-distillation like some Applejack. Other producers ferment pure apple juice and freeze high-proof popskull out of it, a notorious beverage down into the plains. Nanny Ogg will only list her ingredients as "apples, mostly"; her brandy manages to be much more potent than normal brandy. A well-ordered still can increase the proof and eliminate unpleasant by-products, and a few minor additions from a Witch's pharmacopoeia can work wonders. Nanny Ogg's prowess with alcoholic beverages is well-known -- as is her product, known everywhere that men fall over backwards into ditches as 'suicider'.
The best apples for making scumble are: Lancre Blackheart, the Golden Disagreeable, and the Green Billet.
Related Roundworld drinks : Calvados (strong apple brandy distilled in Normandy), Apple Brandy and Scrumpy (which have long been produced in Somerset), and Applejack (made in North America) and a flattering imitation by Ales by Mail Nanny Ogg's Scumble Cider.


Love me some calvados
 
2020-09-26 11:24:38 PM  
1 vote:
And the apples they used were more like crabapples.
 
2020-09-26 11:22:19 PM  
1 vote:
When I was n 4th grade, we had to do oral reports on famous historical characters. We had the option of dressing up too. Being the lousy, lazy student I was, I said I'd dress up and participate to the shock of my teacher.

Presentation day came. We got sent to the restroom to change. Other kids had some seriously fancy ass costumes. Hats, wigs, and even props.

Me? I pulled an old sauce pot out of my backpack, and plopped it on my head. That was it. One kid was George Washington, another Betsy Ross. One kid was Lincoln and even had a stovepipe hat. Like a real one from a haberdashery. But me, I got up there with a pot on my head and was like, "I'm Johnny Appleseed! I walked around America barefoot planting apple trees! Why? No one really knows! But they all agree, I loved apples!"

I've let my teachers down many times, but that one was like pure disappointment for them. Didn't care though. I technically dressed up and passed.
 
Displayed 42 of 42 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking





On Twitter



  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.