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(Smithsonian Magazine)   Johnny Appleseed didn't plant his apple trees so that the apples would be eaten -- he planted them so the apples could be made into booze   (smithsonianmag.com) divider line
    More: Vintage, Apple, special apple tree, last physicalevidence of John Chapman, acres of apple orchards, hard apple cider, modern perception of the apple, America's western frontier, apple seeds  
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2473 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Sep 2020 at 11:05 PM (9 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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2020-09-26 9:16:45 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-09-26 9:28:21 PM  
She gave you a non-working number with six digits. How do you like them apples?

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2020-09-26 9:54:11 PM  
I had no idea there was such a thing as freeze distillation until I fell down a wiki rabbit hole on the colonists and their devotion to getting booze out of apples in the form of applejack.
 
2020-09-26 10:12:00 PM  

LordOfThePings: She gave you a non-working number with six digits. How do you like them apples?

[Fark user image image 625x415]


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2020-09-26 10:25:32 PM  
I'm ok with this
 
2020-09-26 10:36:46 PM  
Johnny Appleseed trees all have directive in their genetic code to make the foundation of their fruit.

They're the apple bottom genes.
 
2020-09-26 11:07:10 PM  

Al Roker's Forecast: Johnny Appleseed trees all have directive in their genetic code to make the foundation of their fruit.

They're the apple bottom genes.





Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-09-26 11:09:14 PM  

LordOfThePings: She gave you a non-working number with six digits. How do you like them apples?

[Fark user image 625x415]


Eh, that's 7 digits.  555-1294 looks like.
 
2020-09-26 11:13:22 PM  
It never made sense to me that Johnny was just spreading apple seeds for the lulz. This makes sense now.
 
2020-09-26 11:14:45 PM  
Applejack baby!

It was one of the early on big boozes in the US.
 
2020-09-26 11:14:57 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size


/booze is a big part of American culture.
 
2020-09-26 11:17:20 PM  
booze and tobacco built our country.
 
2020-09-26 11:17:35 PM  

Al Roker's Forecast: Johnny Appleseed trees all have directive in their genetic code to make the foundation of their fruit.

They're the apple bottom genes.


Wit da fuuuuuuuuuuuurrrrr
 
2020-09-26 11:18:12 PM  
Quoth the wiki -

Scumble is made from apples. Well, mainly apples, which in no way guarantees a low alcohol content. Scumble is drunk in thimblefuls, is strong enough to be used for cleaning spoons, and should not be put in a metal container or allowed to come into contact with water. Someone who can drink a lot of scumble all at once without ill effects is probably not really human (see Mort). Authentic scumble is made in Lancre, in a secret still owned and operated by Nanny Ogg. Nanny welcomed King Verence II's decree of prohibition, as she reckoned it would leave her with no competitors.

She does have many small competitors, most using freeze-distillation like some Applejack. Other producers ferment pure apple juice and freeze high-proof popskull out of it, a notorious beverage down into the plains. Nanny Ogg will only list her ingredients as "apples, mostly"; her brandy manages to be much more potent than normal brandy. A well-ordered still can increase the proof and eliminate unpleasant by-products, and a few minor additions from a Witch's pharmacopoeia can work wonders. Nanny Ogg's prowess with alcoholic beverages is well-known -- as is her product, known everywhere that men fall over backwards into ditches as 'suicider'.
The best apples for making scumble are: Lancre Blackheart, the Golden Disagreeable, and the Green Billet.
Related Roundworld drinks : Calvados (strong apple brandy distilled in Normandy), Apple Brandy and Scrumpy (which have long been produced in Somerset), and Applejack (made in North America) and a flattering imitation by Ales by Mail Nanny Ogg's Scumble Cider.
 
2020-09-26 11:19:18 PM  
Anyone who hasn't made apfelwein absolutely should. It's cheap, easy and delicious. Especially with a cinnamon stick and a little nutmeg thrown in the fermenter.
 
2020-09-26 11:20:03 PM  
He was doing the Lord's work.
 
2020-09-26 11:22:19 PM  
When I was n 4th grade, we had to do oral reports on famous historical characters. We had the option of dressing up too. Being the lousy, lazy student I was, I said I'd dress up and participate to the shock of my teacher.

Presentation day came. We got sent to the restroom to change. Other kids had some seriously fancy ass costumes. Hats, wigs, and even props.

Me? I pulled an old sauce pot out of my backpack, and plopped it on my head. That was it. One kid was George Washington, another Betsy Ross. One kid was Lincoln and even had a stovepipe hat. Like a real one from a haberdashery. But me, I got up there with a pot on my head and was like, "I'm Johnny Appleseed! I walked around America barefoot planting apple trees! Why? No one really knows! But they all agree, I loved apples!"

I've let my teachers down many times, but that one was like pure disappointment for them. Didn't care though. I technically dressed up and passed.
 
2020-09-26 11:22:32 PM  

mofa: It never made sense to me that Johnny was just spreading apple seeds for the lulz.


I like to think that it was a metaphor for a guy who hounded around.
 
2020-09-26 11:23:42 PM  
Yum.
i.redd.itView Full Size
 
2020-09-26 11:24:38 PM  
And the apples they used were more like crabapples.
 
2020-09-26 11:26:31 PM  
vignette1.wikia.nocookie.netView Full Size
 
2020-09-26 11:26:43 PM  

h2ogate: Yum.
[i.redd.it image 850x1133]


"And a bear supervillian was born"
 
2020-09-26 11:27:32 PM  

KarmicDisaster: And the apples they used were more like crabapples.


Yeah.  You made booze from them because there was no way in hell you could actually eat them.
 
2020-09-26 11:27:50 PM  
invictus2:
[Fark user image 480x360]
italie:
Wit da fuuuuuuuuuuuurrrrr
Fark user imageView Full Size

Johnny Appleseed was scared and weak because he couldn't grow a pear.
 
2020-09-26 11:28:28 PM  
I learned this in middle school.
 
2020-09-26 11:29:07 PM  

i.r.id10t: Quoth the wiki -

Scumble is made from apples. Well, mainly apples, which in no way guarantees a low alcohol content. Scumble is drunk in thimblefuls, is strong enough to be used for cleaning spoons, and should not be put in a metal container or allowed to come into contact with water. Someone who can drink a lot of scumble all at once without ill effects is probably not really human (see Mort). Authentic scumble is made in Lancre, in a secret still owned and operated by Nanny Ogg. Nanny welcomed King Verence II's decree of prohibition, as she reckoned it would leave her with no competitors.

She does have many small competitors, most using freeze-distillation like some Applejack. Other producers ferment pure apple juice and freeze high-proof popskull out of it, a notorious beverage down into the plains. Nanny Ogg will only list her ingredients as "apples, mostly"; her brandy manages to be much more potent than normal brandy. A well-ordered still can increase the proof and eliminate unpleasant by-products, and a few minor additions from a Witch's pharmacopoeia can work wonders. Nanny Ogg's prowess with alcoholic beverages is well-known -- as is her product, known everywhere that men fall over backwards into ditches as 'suicider'.
The best apples for making scumble are: Lancre Blackheart, the Golden Disagreeable, and the Green Billet.
Related Roundworld drinks : Calvados (strong apple brandy distilled in Normandy), Apple Brandy and Scrumpy (which have long been produced in Somerset), and Applejack (made in North America) and a flattering imitation by Ales by Mail Nanny Ogg's Scumble Cider.


*shakes Cheery/Cheri-sized fist*
 
2020-09-26 11:30:35 PM  

Eravior: He was doing the Lord's work.


Little known fact: Johnny Appleseed was an adherent of Emanuel Swedenborg as was Helen Keller.
 
2020-09-26 11:32:39 PM  

Al Roker's Forecast: invictus2:
[Fark user image 480x360]
italie:
Wit da fuuuuuuuuuuuurrrrr
[Fark user image image 298x385]
Johnny Appleseed was scared and weak because he couldn't grow a pear.


You magnificent bastich.
 
2020-09-26 11:32:41 PM  
The Simpsons - Ned Flanders: Apple Cider vs. Apple Juice.
Youtube L1BfF77Pvio
 
2020-09-26 11:33:01 PM  

i.r.id10t: Quoth the wiki -

Scumble is made from apples. Well, mainly apples, which in no way guarantees a low alcohol content. Scumble is drunk in thimblefuls, is strong enough to be used for cleaning spoons, and should not be put in a metal container or allowed to come into contact with water. Someone who can drink a lot of scumble all at once without ill effects is probably not really human (see Mort). Authentic scumble is made in Lancre, in a secret still owned and operated by Nanny Ogg. Nanny welcomed King Verence II's decree of prohibition, as she reckoned it would leave her with no competitors.

She does have many small competitors, most using freeze-distillation like some Applejack. Other producers ferment pure apple juice and freeze high-proof popskull out of it, a notorious beverage down into the plains. Nanny Ogg will only list her ingredients as "apples, mostly"; her brandy manages to be much more potent than normal brandy. A well-ordered still can increase the proof and eliminate unpleasant by-products, and a few minor additions from a Witch's pharmacopoeia can work wonders. Nanny Ogg's prowess with alcoholic beverages is well-known -- as is her product, known everywhere that men fall over backwards into ditches as 'suicider'.
The best apples for making scumble are: Lancre Blackheart, the Golden Disagreeable, and the Green Billet.
Related Roundworld drinks : Calvados (strong apple brandy distilled in Normandy), Apple Brandy and Scrumpy (which have long been produced in Somerset), and Applejack (made in North America) and a flattering imitation by Ales by Mail Nanny Ogg's Scumble Cider.


Love me some calvados
 
2020-09-26 11:33:40 PM  
I've read elsewhere it was a property scam. In the new territories you could claim a patch of land by establishing an orchard. He went around planting apple trees where he could, claimed the land, and later sold them to new settlers.
 
2020-09-26 11:34:39 PM  
applejack
Youtube XEHXeCVp6_Y

AppleJack eh?

/I talk to the apple trees?
 
2020-09-26 11:38:21 PM  

KarmicDisaster: And the apples they used were more like crabapples.


But they were 100% American, not like the ones these days made in Chinese sweatshops.
 
2020-09-26 11:38:30 PM  

wildcardjack: I've read elsewhere it was a property scam. In the new territories you could claim a patch of land by establishing an orchard. He went around planting apple trees where he could, claimed the land, and later sold them to new settlers.


God, I hope that's true.
 
2020-09-26 11:40:49 PM  

Kangaroo_Ralph: I learned this in middle school.


I think a few of us in 3rd grade posited the theory he was on the run from the law. Probably due to him being a homosexual and all.

Parent teacher conferences are funny in hindsight.
 
2020-09-26 11:47:57 PM  

sex_and_drugs_for_ian: wildcardjack: I've read elsewhere it was a property scam. In the new territories you could claim a patch of land by establishing an orchard. He went around planting apple trees where he could, claimed the land, and later sold them to new settlers.

God, I hope that's true.


d28hgpri8am2if.cloudfront.netView Full Size
 
2020-09-26 11:48:52 PM  
Came for (mostly apples). Leaving satisfied.
 
2020-09-26 11:53:09 PM  
Everybody know that Subby. Grapes only grow in California or France or Argentina- Apples grow everywhere.
/Also delicious in pie form
//Also delicious in sauce form
///Also got humans kicked out of Eden for Eve getting Adam drunk on cider beer
 
2020-09-26 11:55:14 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-09-26 11:59:18 PM  
Wildwood Weed (Jim Stafford) w/ lyrics
Youtube xyjlxIcu8AM
 
2020-09-27 12:13:59 AM  
Seems like the perfect starting point for a children's cereal

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-09-27 12:37:58 AM  
We have a bumper crop up here in the mountains this year, frost during flowering eliminated the crop last couple years. It's neat to pull the jeep up to a tree and just grab a snack. Get a box of red hots candies, core an apple without putting a hole in the bottom, fill the hole with red hots, put it in a bowl, cover with plastic wrap, and nuke for a few minutes, yum!  Cider wise its roughly one regular size milk crate full per gallon of raw juice. I used a juiceman rather than a press, mainly cause i dont have a press. 5 gallons in a carboy, a package of english cider yeast from the brew shop, and its the same as making beer. Keep separate equipment for the cider as beer yeast and cider yeast dont play nice together. Keg or bottle just like beer.
Never tried jacking or distilling my cider. The kicker that makes it stand out is to brew up a package of celestial seasonings apple spice tea, and add it when youre priming to bottle...good stuff if a bit labor intensive...
 
2020-09-27 12:40:40 AM  
My mom was from Fort Wayne and was always proud to mention that Johnny Appleseed had a cabin there, so once when we were there visiting her family she took me to see it. It was a crappy little cabin in a public park and there was a used condom on the floor.
 
2020-09-27 12:45:28 AM  

h2ogate: Yum.
[i.redd.it image 850x1133]


But who put all the apples under the oak tree?
 
2020-09-27 12:47:45 AM  
Your point being?
 
2020-09-27 12:48:10 AM  
The Appleseed Cast- Mare Mortis
Youtube FNKA5FyKOcA
 
2020-09-27 1:52:15 AM  

sex_and_drugs_for_ian: wildcardjack: I've read elsewhere it was a property scam. In the new territories you could claim a patch of land by establishing an orchard. He went around planting apple trees where he could, claimed the land, and later sold them to new settlers.

God, I hope that's true.


It is true. But it is also not as one-note as it sounds.

Was Johnny Appleseed Really a Real Person?
Youtube jXOtcdJaZ5c
 
2020-09-27 2:26:43 AM  

Billy Bathsalt: Eravior: He was doing the Lord's work.

Little known fact: Johnny Appleseed was an adherent of Emanuel Swedenborg as was Helen Keller.


well yeah, Swedenborg built one of her very first airplanes.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-09-27 2:27:27 AM  

Mr. Shabooboo: [Youtube-video https://www.youtube.com/embed/XEHXeCVp​6_Y]
AppleJack eh?

/I talk to the apple trees?


Posting Eastwood singing is worse than Rickrolling. Just don't.
 
2020-09-27 3:00:09 AM  
Not exactly news. Planting apple orchards was the easiest, lowest-cost way of proving a claim and multiplying the value of the land so it could be sold. What's more, cider was what people drank. More than beer. More than rum. Certainly more than coffee or tea. In some places it was used as money the same way whiskey was.

John Chapman was a brilliant businessman who gave away all the money he made raising apple trees and selling land. It's a fascinating story.
 
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