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(Guardian)   Cows: the silent killer   (theguardian.com) divider line
    More: Scary, Yorkshire, Pennines, Thought, England, Det Ch Insp Jane Fairlamb, Malcolm Flynn, Yorkshire Dales, Cumbria  
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3729 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Sep 2020 at 6:20 AM (17 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

 
2020-09-26 6:30:05 AM  
36 votes:
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-09-26 6:41:27 AM  
27 votes:
i.pinimg.comView Full Size
 
2020-09-26 2:44:52 AM  
24 votes:
i.redd.itView Full Size

Don't kid yourself, Jimmy. If a cow ever got the chance, he'd eat you and everyone you care about!
 
2020-09-26 6:42:58 AM  
21 votes:
img.ifunny.coView Full Size
 
2020-09-26 10:47:32 AM  
19 votes:
i.imgur.comView Full Size
 
2020-09-26 12:10:25 AM  
13 votes:
Now that they got a taste for human blood, they got to put them down.
 
2020-09-26 7:03:03 AM  
11 votes:

LewDux: [i.pinimg.com image 785x989]


ih1.redbubble.netView Full Size
 
2020-09-26 8:48:02 AM  
10 votes:
When my kid was little, she became afraid of sharks and vampires, and we lived a good 30 miles from the coast.  In trying to allay her pointless fears, I pretended to be deathly afraid of cows and chipmunks, and it turned into a running joke.

When the internet came around, I did some research and it turns cows and chipmunks cause more deaths per year than sharks and vampires, so my premise wasn't nearly as silly it first seemed.
 
2020-09-26 8:29:47 AM  
10 votes:
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-09-26 7:17:25 AM  
9 votes:

LewDux: [i.pinimg.com image 785x989]


ComaToast: LewDux: [i.pinimg.com image 785x989]

[ih1.redbubble.net image 750x920]


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-09-26 4:58:59 AM  
7 votes:
Not to be disrespectful but how is that the picture of him they wanted in the newspapers?
 
2020-09-26 12:11:33 PM  
6 votes:
In England they call cows "Bumbly-Moo Milkspurts."
 
2020-09-26 6:35:11 AM  
5 votes:
Jesus Christ! Fenton The Dog Kills Sean Bean
Youtube 7UFM-TZNTxo
 
2020-09-26 2:18:14 AM  
5 votes:
Fark user imageView Full Size


ThreatDown: COWS!
 
2020-09-26 10:31:29 AM  
4 votes:

MikeyFuccon: This being the Grauniad, I expected another well-meaning lecture on cows' methane emissions' contributing to climate change.

Guess the cows are upping the ante.


It's all connected. Scientists have come up with a bio-engineered cow with a membrane that traps methane emissions. The membrane expands out the cows anus like a balloon until the methane is collected. Unfortunately, if the methane is not collected often enough, cows can become airborne, like living hot-air balloons. Thus far, none of the cows have landed in a populated area, where such a massive animal falling from the sky could cause serious harm or even death.
 
2020-09-26 8:18:18 AM  
4 votes:

halifaxdatageek: Second cow murder this week. Maybe Troy was right.


I mean cows kill a lot of people...heart disease is one the nation's top killers.
 
2020-09-26 7:04:40 AM  
4 votes:

Slaxl: Not to be disrespectful but how is that the picture of him they wanted in the newspapers?


I imagine he gave the cow that look just before the end.  Actually, that may be what precipitated things.
 
2020-09-26 11:30:51 AM  
3 votes:
Keeping this for the next veggy that cries "meat is murder".
 
2020-09-26 10:27:21 AM  
3 votes:
ftfa: 'he died at the location, which is on the Pennine Way.'

Somehow I read that in Sean Connery's voice:
The Chicago Way
Youtube 2ScvAJG51V4
 
2020-09-26 7:15:06 AM  
3 votes:

jamspoon: Lambskincoat: Now that they got a taste for human blood, they got to put them down.

but does it make the milk taste sweeter?

/asking for a friend


Not sweeter. More irony
 
2020-09-26 5:40:38 AM  
3 votes:

Lambskincoat: Now that they got a taste for human blood, they got to put them down.


but does it make the milk taste sweeter?

/asking for a friend
 
2020-09-26 4:11:44 PM  
2 votes:

Nobody in Peculiar: FTA: "On Monday, deputy headteacher Dave Clark died after he was injured by cows..."

Are the other 4 OK?


they're probably feeling glad all over
 
2020-09-26 9:52:57 AM  
2 votes:

Bob Down: How many headlines this year for death by cow, bison or buffalo?


If you're doing domesticated bovines, you have to include yaks.
 
2020-09-26 7:04:17 AM  
2 votes:
Goddamnit so much!!!

Too late with my headline.

Grumble grumble better headline.

/I'll get over it
 
2020-09-26 1:46:13 PM  
1 vote:

Somaticasual: ocelot: It's cattle not cows.

Let's agree to settle at "Cewes"


What if they're in an orderly line, like waiting to be fed or milked or whatever it is they do.
 
2020-09-26 1:21:31 PM  
1 vote:

ocelot: It's cattle not cows.


Let's agree to settle at "Cewes"
 
2020-09-26 12:33:10 PM  
1 vote:
They're beeves not beefs.
 
2020-09-26 12:24:18 PM  
1 vote:
Are they using tools yet?
 
2020-09-26 7:56:28 AM  
1 vote:
It's udderly fantastic!
 
2020-09-26 7:24:14 AM  
1 vote:
Wow. I didn't know that cows were an aggressive mob in Fortnight.

In case you don't know:
mob: Stands for Mobile Objects. Typically used in MMORPG games and stands for attackable non playing objects. Usually monsters.Ahh, i'm getting wtf pwnd bbq by these crystalhide mobs in the flats.-- From the  Urban Dictionary.
 
2020-09-26 6:32:07 AM  
1 vote:
Dunno, last time I was around cows they were pretty noisy.
 
2020-09-26 3:07:17 AM  
1 vote:
How many headlines this year for death by cow, bison or buffalo?
 
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