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(Guardian)   Cows: the silent killer   (theguardian.com) divider line
    More: Scary, Yorkshire, Pennines, Thought, England, Det Ch Insp Jane Fairlamb, Malcolm Flynn, Yorkshire Dales, Cumbria  
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3705 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Sep 2020 at 6:20 AM (9 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



51 Comments     (+0 »)
 
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2020-09-26 12:10:25 AM  
Now that they got a taste for human blood, they got to put them down.
 
2020-09-26 2:18:14 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size


ThreatDown: COWS!
 
2020-09-26 2:44:52 AM  
i.redd.itView Full Size

Don't kid yourself, Jimmy. If a cow ever got the chance, he'd eat you and everyone you care about!
 
2020-09-26 3:07:17 AM  
How many headlines this year for death by cow, bison or buffalo?
 
2020-09-26 4:58:59 AM  
Not to be disrespectful but how is that the picture of him they wanted in the newspapers?
 
2020-09-26 5:40:38 AM  

Lambskincoat: Now that they got a taste for human blood, they got to put them down.


but does it make the milk taste sweeter?

/asking for a friend
 
2020-09-26 6:30:05 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-09-26 6:32:07 AM  
Dunno, last time I was around cows they were pretty noisy.
 
2020-09-26 6:35:11 AM  
Jesus Christ! Fenton The Dog Kills Sean Bean
Youtube 7UFM-TZNTxo
 
2020-09-26 6:41:27 AM  
i.pinimg.comView Full Size
 
2020-09-26 6:42:58 AM  
img.ifunny.coView Full Size
 
2020-09-26 7:03:03 AM  

LewDux: [i.pinimg.com image 785x989]


ih1.redbubble.netView Full Size
 
2020-09-26 7:04:17 AM  
Goddamnit so much!!!

Too late with my headline.

Grumble grumble better headline.

/I'll get over it
 
2020-09-26 7:04:40 AM  

Slaxl: Not to be disrespectful but how is that the picture of him they wanted in the newspapers?


I imagine he gave the cow that look just before the end.  Actually, that may be what precipitated things.
 
2020-09-26 7:15:06 AM  

jamspoon: Lambskincoat: Now that they got a taste for human blood, they got to put them down.

but does it make the milk taste sweeter?

/asking for a friend


Not sweeter. More irony
 
2020-09-26 7:17:25 AM  

LewDux: [i.pinimg.com image 785x989]


ComaToast: LewDux: [i.pinimg.com image 785x989]

[ih1.redbubble.net image 750x920]


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-09-26 7:24:14 AM  
Wow. I didn't know that cows were an aggressive mob in Fortnight.

In case you don't know:
mob: Stands for Mobile Objects. Typically used in MMORPG games and stands for attackable non playing objects. Usually monsters.Ahh, i'm getting wtf pwnd bbq by these crystalhide mobs in the flats.-- From the  Urban Dictionary.
 
2020-09-26 7:56:28 AM  
It's udderly fantastic!
 
2020-09-26 8:02:29 AM  
Second cow murder this week. Maybe Troy was right.
 
2020-09-26 8:18:18 AM  

halifaxdatageek: Second cow murder this week. Maybe Troy was right.


I mean cows kill a lot of people...heart disease is one the nation's top killers.
 
2020-09-26 8:29:47 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-09-26 8:48:02 AM  
When my kid was little, she became afraid of sharks and vampires, and we lived a good 30 miles from the coast.  In trying to allay her pointless fears, I pretended to be deathly afraid of cows and chipmunks, and it turned into a running joke.

When the internet came around, I did some research and it turns cows and chipmunks cause more deaths per year than sharks and vampires, so my premise wasn't nearly as silly it first seemed.
 
2020-09-26 9:02:25 AM  
Cow + red pill =  murder
Etienne de Crecy - Am I Wrong (Official Video)
Youtube Hu4dTob8avQ
 
2020-09-26 9:32:57 AM  
Don't worry guys, we're winning.

Scoreboard
Cows: 20
Humans: 35,000,000

Cows are actually one of the most likely animals to kill a person.  There are soo many of them and because they've been bred to be so docile we don't treat them like dangerous animals.  When they do occasionally decide to kill some guy there really isn't much he can do about unless he's armed or near a fence/tree... they are much bigger than us.

/currently thawing a steak.
 
2020-09-26 9:41:39 AM  

The Repeated Meme: Goddamnit so much!!!

Too late with my headline.

Grumble grumble better headline.

/I'll get over it


You can always submit with the REPEAT tag. You never know.
 
2020-09-26 9:52:57 AM  

Bob Down: How many headlines this year for death by cow, bison or buffalo?


If you're doing domesticated bovines, you have to include yaks.
 
2020-09-26 10:12:19 AM  
This being the Grauniad, I expected another well-meaning lecture on cows' methane emissions' contributing to climate change.

Guess the cows are upping the ante.
 
2020-09-26 10:27:21 AM  
ftfa: 'he died at the location, which is on the Pennine Way.'

Somehow I read that in Sean Connery's voice:
The Chicago Way
Youtube 2ScvAJG51V4
 
2020-09-26 10:31:29 AM  

MikeyFuccon: This being the Grauniad, I expected another well-meaning lecture on cows' methane emissions' contributing to climate change.

Guess the cows are upping the ante.


It's all connected. Scientists have come up with a bio-engineered cow with a membrane that traps methane emissions. The membrane expands out the cows anus like a balloon until the methane is collected. Unfortunately, if the methane is not collected often enough, cows can become airborne, like living hot-air balloons. Thus far, none of the cows have landed in a populated area, where such a massive animal falling from the sky could cause serious harm or even death.
 
2020-09-26 10:47:32 AM  
i.imgur.comView Full Size
 
2020-09-26 10:54:49 AM  
Cows can be aggressive.

Don't go into a field with animals you don't know.

Poor man.
 
2020-09-26 11:15:54 AM  
Payback for all the ' cow-tipping ' in the past.
 
2020-09-26 11:30:51 AM  
Keeping this for the next veggy that cries "meat is murder".
 
2020-09-26 11:48:43 AM  

electricjebus: Don't worry guys, we're winning.

Scoreboard
Cows: 20
Humans: 35,000,000

Cows are actually one of the most likely animals to kill a person.  There are soo many of them and because they've been bred to be so docile we don't treat them like dangerous animals.  When they do occasionally decide to kill some guy there really isn't much he can do about unless he's armed or near a fence/tree... they are much bigger than us.

/currently thawing a steak.


Yep.  Cows are massive, and stupid.

Back as a kid on the dairy farm, I was cleaning out stalls one day, and a nearly full-grown heifer planted her left rear hoof right on my left foot.

No amount of screaming, yelling, or thwacking her with my pitchfork handle convinced her to move.  Rather, she shifted all her weight onto that leg.

I grabbed that leg with both hands and lifted it enough to get my foot out.  (I was young then, in shape from farm work, and hopped up on adrenalin.)
 
2020-09-26 11:54:21 AM  

LewDux: Cow + red pill =  murder
[YouTube video: Etienne de Crecy - Am I Wrong (Official Video)]


Holy shiat that animation is horrific...
 
2020-09-26 12:11:33 PM  
In England they call cows "Bumbly-Moo Milkspurts."
 
2020-09-26 12:24:18 PM  
Are they using tools yet?
 
2020-09-26 12:27:03 PM  
It's cattle not cows.
 
2020-09-26 12:33:10 PM  
They're beeves not beefs.
 
2020-09-26 12:49:18 PM  
A second fatality caused by cows has been made public by police, meaning there have been two such deaths within a fortnight in the north of England.

This is the most British sentence I've read in a while.
 
2020-09-26 1:03:24 PM  

ocelot: It's cattle not cows.


Nope.

Both terms are perfectly cromulent.
 
2020-09-26 1:21:31 PM  

ocelot: It's cattle not cows.


Let's agree to settle at "Cewes"
 
2020-09-26 1:28:30 PM  
Wait till they team up with the intelligent sheep.
 
2020-09-26 1:46:13 PM  

Somaticasual: ocelot: It's cattle not cows.

Let's agree to settle at "Cewes"


What if they're in an orderly line, like waiting to be fed or milked or whatever it is they do.
 
2020-09-26 2:26:01 PM  
"All hat and no cows" just doesn't have the same ring to it.
 
2020-09-26 2:59:33 PM  

farkingismybusiness: [i.redd.it image 640x480]
Don't kid yourself, Jimmy. If a cow ever got the chance, he'd eat you and everyone you care about!


Lisa: "That is just corporate propaganda!"
 
2020-09-26 3:58:48 PM  
FTA: "On Monday, deputy headteacher Dave Clark died after he was injured by cows..."

Are the other 4 OK?
 
2020-09-26 4:11:44 PM  

Nobody in Peculiar: FTA: "On Monday, deputy headteacher Dave Clark died after he was injured by cows..."

Are the other 4 OK?


they're probably feeling glad all over
 
2020-09-26 5:49:02 PM  
Just wait till they get their hands on the guns.
/ paws?
// hooves?
/// cows belong on my grill, post-processing of course. Cows well done.
 
2020-09-26 8:36:00 PM  

TheCableGuy: Just wait till they get their hands on the guns.


Cows With Guns - The Original Animation
Youtube FQMbXvn2RNI
 
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