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(Huffington Post)   "There's no doubt in my mind that I would be living a much more diminished life ... if his actions, as cruel as they were, hadn't forced me to wake up"   (huffpost.com) divider line
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517 clicks; posted to Discussion » on 25 Sep 2020 at 2:55 PM (4 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



14 Comments     (+0 »)
 
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2020-09-25 12:47:13 PM  
I was (mostly) single until my 40s, married at 45. I like being married (Mrs. Beef and I get along well) but if I never got hitched I can't say I'd be too depressed. Especially after seeing a few friends go through problematic marriages/divorces.
 
2020-09-25 2:03:52 PM  
My wife was raised by a violent, abusive mother, an absent, philandering father and a fundamentalist church which was actually her refuge from her family (who did not attend) .

She thought her job was to try to be a Handmaid and keep her mouth shut about anything bothering her - even including illnesses.

It took more than a decade, the passing of both parents, and a lot of therapy for her to decide that maybe it was OK to just enjoy her life and not spend all her time trying to live up to what she thought I wanted from her and what her mother demanded (to avoid a beating).

Sometimes I'll still ask her why she's freaking out over something minor and she won't really know. It's just programmed in there and she has to force herself to let it go.

Put what I thought was my farked up childhood into perspective certainly.
 
2020-09-25 2:08:43 PM  
Misanthropy works out well for a lot of folks
 
2020-09-25 2:28:38 PM  

vudukungfu: Misanthropy works out well for a lot of folks


Preach. On.
 
2020-09-25 2:32:03 PM  
"Over the next few years, I went to Puerto Rico, Portugal, Italy, Spain, Turkey and all over the U.S. - almost always by myself."

OH THE HORROR
 
2020-09-25 3:08:35 PM  
I too like to share TMI on the internet!
 
2020-09-25 3:11:36 PM  

HedlessChickn: "Over the next few years, I went to Puerto Rico, Portugal, Italy, Spain, Turkey and all over the U.S. - almost always by myself."

OH THE HORROR


I though the author was a clueless dipshiat, and I didn't even get that far in TFA.  Jeez.
 
2020-09-25 3:26:28 PM  
FTA: Despite my long identification as a feminist, I thought marriage - the right marriage - would make life easier, an idea I picked up on from my mother.

I don't think being in a relationship does or should make your life easier.

It should make your life better.  But Easier?  Easy things are rarely rewarding and it's not your partners job to make your life an endless vacation or shield you from the consequences of your own mistakes.

I'd argue a healthy place to start a relationship from is "I'm perfectly happy alone, but if the right person comes along, sure".  Sounds like, by the end of the article, that's where she is at.
 
2020-09-25 3:34:05 PM  
...then the murders began.
 
2020-09-25 3:42:31 PM  

akya: FTA: Despite my long identification as a feminist, I thought marriage - the right marriage - would make life easier, an idea I picked up on from my mother.

I don't think being in a relationship does or should make your life easier.

It should make your life better.  But Easier?  Easy things are rarely rewarding and it's not your partners job to make your life an endless vacation or shield you from the consequences of your own mistakes.

I'd argue a healthy place to start a relationship from is "I'm perfectly happy alone, but if the right person comes along, sure".  Sounds like, by the end of the article, that's where she is at.


came to basically say this. Leaving satisfied.
 
2020-09-25 4:01:04 PM  

akya: FTA: Despite my long identification as a feminist, I thought marriage - the right marriage - would make life easier, an idea I picked up on from my mother.

I don't think being in a relationship does or should make your life easier.

It should make your life better.  But Easier?  Easy things are rarely rewarding and it's not your partners job to make your life an endless vacation or shield you from the consequences of your own mistakes.

I'd argue a healthy place to start a relationship from is "I'm perfectly happy alone, but if the right person comes along, sure".  Sounds like, by the end of the article, that's where she is at.


I don't think there is anything wrong with being happy alone, but I don't think there is anything wrong with people who aren't happy without companionship either.
 
2020-09-25 4:28:14 PM  

Benevolent Misanthrope: vudukungfu: Misanthropy works out well for a lot of folks

Preach. On.


User name checks out.
Let's do dinner in different cities tonight.
 
2020-09-25 11:55:55 PM  

Ker_Thwap: I too like to share TMI on the internet!


Certainly in the right tab for that.
 
2020-09-26 8:01:09 AM  

FrancoFile: HedlessChickn: "Over the next few years, I went to Puerto Rico, Portugal, Italy, Spain, Turkey and all over the U.S. - almost always by myself."

OH THE HORROR

I though the author was a clueless dipshiat, and I didn't even get that far in TFA.  Jeez.


I actually ghosted the article the moment I saw her picture and it said "click here to keep reading"
 
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