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(The Scottish Sun)   Shocked student finds huge 10-inch whopper of a willy-shaped carrot in bag of supermarket veggies. More shocking is her retired dad's excitement over the find   (thescottishsun.co.uk) divider line
    More: Giggity, The Sun, News of the World, Newspaper, The Times, News Corporation, Laura Gee, News International, News Group Newspapers  
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4917 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Sep 2020 at 11:35 AM (4 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



57 Comments     (+0 »)
 
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2020-09-24 10:49:14 AM  
Anything can be a dildo if you're brave enough.
 
2020-09-24 11:19:38 AM  
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Huge?

Are we sure this isn't The Irish Sun?
 
2020-09-24 11:37:14 AM  
Paige no!
 
2020-09-24 11:38:06 AM  
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Boe [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2020-09-24 11:38:19 AM  
That's America's Carrot
 
2020-09-24 11:38:31 AM  
Thankfully she does not have to worry about damaging her teeth on it as the British health service has already done so.
 
2020-09-24 11:38:32 AM  
That is a HARD 21, looks closer to about 35.
 
2020-09-24 11:38:33 AM  
"Huge" 10-incher, huh? I am so sorry to hear about that, subby.
 
2020-09-24 11:38:59 AM  
Did she do a magic trick and make it disappear?
 
2020-09-24 11:39:07 AM  
Paige no!
 
2020-09-24 11:41:23 AM  
So much for better eyesight. That carrot can make you go cross-eyed.
 
2020-09-24 11:41:54 AM  
like she is surprised by anything penis like
 
2020-09-24 11:43:31 AM  
GIGGITY, GIGGITY, GIG-IT-Y.
 
2020-09-24 11:44:27 AM  
Aerosmith - Big Ten Inch Record
Youtube gweUVWUYYQ8
 
2020-09-24 11:46:19 AM  
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2020-09-24 11:47:46 AM  
Mr. Wintler grins knowingly with a sly wink. William and Ms. Cripslock remain unamused.
 
2020-09-24 11:48:45 AM  
An orange dong?  Reminds me of this one dude who went to his doctor with that same affliction.  Doctor thought it might be work related so he asked him if he mixed the chemicals for Trump's spray tan.

The dude responded, "No, I don't even have a job, all I do all day is eat cheetos and watch porn.
 
2020-09-24 11:50:06 AM  
How does crap like this even get found? Do people just call into tabloids about the random shiat they've found/done?
 
2020-09-24 11:51:13 AM  

Giant Clown Shoe: [Fark user image 850x304]

Huge?

Are we sure this isn't The Irish Sun?


THAT'S JUST A DESPICABLE LIE!!!1!

*sobs*
 
2020-09-24 11:52:09 AM  

Mouren: How does crap like this even get found? Do people just call into tabloids about the random shiat they've found/done?


In Britain, yeah, pretty much.
 
2020-09-24 11:52:29 AM  
That looks way more like a dick than I was expecting.
 
2020-09-24 11:52:40 AM  
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2020-09-24 11:54:59 AM  
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2020-09-24 11:56:53 AM  
Ohhhhhh.... The_Sponge......owe me a keyboard
 
2020-09-24 11:57:17 AM  
Paige yes
 
2020-09-24 12:01:41 PM  

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: [Fark user image 400x266]


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-09-24 12:03:50 PM  

Mouren: How does crap like this even get found? Do people just call into tabloids about the random shiat they've found/done?


But ...

we're ...

what ...

fried circuits. ...

recursion ...

Aaaaagghhhhhhhh!!!
 
2020-09-24 12:11:38 PM  
Based on the pic, something tells me that that carrot isn't going to make its way into a stew.
 
2020-09-24 12:14:39 PM  
Actually, the only position 10-inchers are really useful for is where the lady reclines back from the reverse cowgirl because it prevents any sudden exit that may lead to hurting her. All other positions run the risk of cervix impact which is about as pleasurable as pubis impact is for a man.
 
2020-09-24 12:14:41 PM  

hammettman: Based on the pic, something tells me that that carrot isn't going to make its way into a stew.


Well, not in the traditional sense...
 
2020-09-24 12:19:55 PM  
Everyone knows that real orange "willies" are small and mushroom shaped
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2020-09-24 12:20:50 PM  
Based on the look on her face, I would advise against eating that carrot now. I mean, unless you're into that.
 
2020-09-24 12:21:57 PM  

GoldSpider: hammettman: Based on the pic, something tells me that that carrot isn't going to make its way into a stew.

Well, not in the traditional sense...


More like stirring Macaroni in a pot.
 
2020-09-24 12:24:25 PM  
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2020-09-24 12:27:11 PM  

8tReAsUrEz: Actually, the only position 10-inchers are really useful for is where the lady reclines back from the reverse cowgirl because it prevents any sudden exit that may lead to hurting her. All other positions run the risk of cervix impact which is about as pleasurable as pubis impact is for a man.


Those times that it slips out just enough to relocate and the wife starts to make sounds like Flipper the dolphin.  NU-UH NU-UH NU-UH
 
2020-09-24 12:27:18 PM  

Pert: [Fark user image image 236x224]


"I find this particularly ironic, My Lord, because I've got a thingy that's shaped exactly like a carrot..."

vignette.wikia.nocookie.netView Full Size
 
2020-09-24 12:27:50 PM  
It looks like one of the carrots they cut at the Kawasaki City Penis Festival.
 
2020-09-24 12:28:25 PM  

knbwhite: 8tReAsUrEz: Actually, the only position 10-inchers are really useful for is where the lady reclines back from the reverse cowgirl because it prevents any sudden exit that may lead to hurting her. All other positions run the risk of cervix impact which is about as pleasurable as pubis impact is for a man.

Those times that it slips out just enough to relocate and the wife starts to make sounds like Flipper the dolphin.  NU-UH NU-UH NU-UH


That is the second best scene from Showgirls.
 
2020-09-24 12:32:03 PM  
Wait, you can retire as a dad?  Well, hell, I gotta tell the girls they're cut off...
 
2020-09-24 12:39:52 PM  

dothemath: Thankfully she does not have to worry about damaging her teeth on it as the British health service has already done so.


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2020-09-24 12:40:09 PM  

peachpicker: Pert: [Fark user image image 236x224]

"I find this particularly ironic, My Lord, because I've got a thingy that's shaped exactly like a carrot..."

[vignette.wikia.nocookie.net image 200x200]


"Yeah, I hide in the vegetable rack and frighten the children."
 
2020-09-24 12:51:44 PM  
This is one of my favorite genres of British newspaper writing. I genuinely did not believe this was a thing at first in Pratchett's "The Truth" and had to read two or three of them before I came to understand he was not exaggerating.
 
2020-09-24 12:54:59 PM  
She seems cute:
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Oh...nevermind:
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2020-09-24 12:56:27 PM  
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No clever comment.

Just popped into my mind.
 
2020-09-24 1:05:39 PM  

Nick Nostril: Based on the look on her face, I would advise against eating that carrot now. I mean, unless you're into that.


Mmm... glazed carrots.
 
2020-09-24 1:05:48 PM  

robodog: That is a HARD 21, looks closer to about 35.


Still British hot
 
2020-09-24 1:13:47 PM  
Sounds like she accidentally grabbed a wanky carrot bag, rather than the wonky carrots that the article mentions she was going for.
 
2020-09-24 1:33:15 PM  
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2020-09-24 1:51:54 PM  

puffy999: knbwhite: 8tReAsUrEz: Actually, the only position 10-inchers are really useful for is where the lady reclines back from the reverse cowgirl because it prevents any sudden exit that may lead to hurting her. All other positions run the risk of cervix impact which is about as pleasurable as pubis impact is for a man.

Those times that it slips out just enough to relocate and the wife starts to make sounds like Flipper the dolphin.  NU-UH NU-UH NU-UH

That is the second best scene from Showgirls.


I haven't seen that film, for many reasons.  Maybe I'll check it out now.
 
2020-09-24 2:06:04 PM  

Nick Nostril: Based on the look on her face, I would advise against eating that carrot now. I mean, unless you're into that.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
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