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(Daily Star)   John Claude Van Damme once challenged Steven Seagal to a fight at a Party at Sylvester Stallone's house in the mid-90's. Had it happened, the home video of that fight would have been the highest-grossing movie of that year (possible nsfw content on page)   (dailystar.co.uk) divider line
    More: Interesting, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Steven Seagal, Van Damme, Arnold Schwarzenegger, American actor, Seagal's interview, reality TV show, biggest contenders  
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1134 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 24 Sep 2020 at 2:21 AM (5 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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2020-09-23 10:21:59 PM  
Segal would be dead, had it happened. That pussy has a glass jaw.
 
2020-09-23 10:43:54 PM  
Actually, I would have paid good money to see that.
 
2020-09-23 11:54:43 PM  

vudukungfu: Segal would be dead, had it happened. That pussy has a glass jaw.


For real. At least JCVD was actually athletic and could do martial arts.
 
2020-09-24 12:41:30 AM  
I have Under Siege on the computer just waiting to be watched

For ummm....Seagal. yes. That's the reason
 
2020-09-24 2:35:48 AM  
In the mid 90s?  Too bad it didn't happen.  Would've saved the world from Seagal's "movie" output.
 
2020-09-24 2:37:01 AM  

NateAsbestos: vudukungfu: Segal would be dead, had it happened. That pussy has a glass jaw.

For real. At least JCVD was actually athletic and could do martial arts.


As much as Segal eats, I thought his jaw would be pretty sturdy.
 
2020-09-24 2:38:52 AM  
This movie was a trip.

JCVD - THE OFFICIAL TRAILER
Youtube 4z_6UfkQ-c0
 
2020-09-24 2:43:58 AM  
It's Jean-Claude, Subby.

With the hyphen.
 
2020-09-24 2:53:27 AM  
Think the only two Seagal movies I'll deliberately watch are Under Siege & Executive Decision. One because of Erika & Tommy, the other because he's in it for 5 minutes, tops.
 
2020-09-24 2:59:34 AM  
But how would Seagal have grabbed the pool cue if Van Damme was doing the splits over the pool table? What if the house didn't even have a pool table? Makes ya think.
 
2020-09-24 3:48:16 AM  

vudukungfu: Segal would be dead, had it happened. That pussy has a glass jaw.


and shiats himself in choke holds
 
2020-09-24 4:00:25 AM  

NateAsbestos: vudukungfu: Segal would be dead, had it happened. That pussy has a glass jaw.

For real. At least JCVD was actually athletic and could do martial arts.


And kick higher than his opponents knees.

Even in his "prime", Seagal was a joke. And Aikido is a hilariously fake, lazy "martial art".

Steven Seagal Demonstration
Youtube cwFwSIMmq4g
 
2020-09-24 4:47:23 AM  
Here's a video of what happened:

Steven Seagal Running
Youtube nkskuSXqUD0
 
2020-09-24 4:53:03 AM  
Jean-Claude would have completed his probation for manslaughter by now.
 
2020-09-24 5:09:46 AM  

bisi: NateAsbestos: vudukungfu: Segal would be dead, had it happened. That pussy has a glass jaw.

For real. At least JCVD was actually athletic and could do martial arts.

And kick higher than his opponents knees.

Even in his "prime", Seagal was a joke. And Aikido is a hilariously fake, lazy "martial art".

[YouTube video: Steven Seagal Demonstration]


Seagal was in the circus?
 
2020-09-24 5:12:14 AM  
The other day I had an epiphany: Under Siegeis Red Octoberfrom the cook's perspective.
 
2020-09-24 5:14:22 AM  

bisi: NateAsbestos: vudukungfu: Segal would be dead, had it happened. That pussy has a glass jaw.

For real. At least JCVD was actually athletic and could do martial arts.

And kick higher than his opponents knees.

Even in his "prime", Seagal was a joke. And Aikido is a hilariously fake, lazy "martial art".


It's interesting in training more or less one range of interaction which it kindof does ok.  But without the rest, it's like training a basketball player to be really, really good at only juking left and then hitting a layup.  Great in that one type of interaction, not great at everything else.
 
2020-09-24 5:16:00 AM  
If I could change my fark name, it make it, "Van Damme's Left Leg."

That or, "Mike_LowELL's Booby Armor."
 
2020-09-24 5:18:16 AM  

foo monkey: If I could change my fark name, it make it, "Van Damme's Left Leg."

That or, "Mike_LowELL's Booby Armor."


Mike has boobies?

....go on
 
2020-09-24 5:21:17 AM  

Stantz: Think the only two Seagal movies I'll deliberately watch are Under Siege & Executive Decision. One because of Erika & Tommy, the other because he's in it for 5 minutes, tops.


I will admit I enjoy Under Siege a fun popcorn flick, they pretty much could have put any actor in Seagals role and the movie would be the same.
 
2020-09-24 5:30:24 AM  

Bslim: foo monkey: If I could change my fark name, it make it, "Van Damme's Left Leg."

That or, "Mike_LowELL's Booby Armor."

Mike has boobies?

....go on


I don't think he does, given his virtual martial arts prowess. I meant it more that he has strong opinions about booby armor and I want to be um, "supportive", if you catch my drift.
 
2020-09-24 5:48:21 AM  

Warrior Kermit: Stantz: Think the only two Seagal movies I'll deliberately watch are Under Siege & Executive Decision. One because of Erika & Tommy, the other because he's in it for 5 minutes, tops.

I will admit I enjoy Under Siege a fun popcorn flick, they pretty much could have put any actor in Seagals role and the movie would be the same.


For me it was mainly both Tommy Lee Jones and Gary Busey being allowed to play it up, they looked like they had fun.
 
2020-09-24 5:57:15 AM  
No way, man.  I wouldn't fight someone who knows the "death touch."
 
2020-09-24 6:01:20 AM  
It is important to remember that Jean-Claude and Dolph Lundgren were both ranked fighters back in the day, and while they did some goofy movies, they were no jokes when it came down to it.

Seagal...he talked a lot after working in his father-in-law's dojo.
 
2020-09-24 6:30:37 AM  
You mean Segal is just another chicken hawk conservative type?

Color me surprised.
 
2020-09-24 6:44:51 AM  

BafflerMeal: bisi: NateAsbestos: vudukungfu: Segal would be dead, had it happened. That pussy has a glass jaw.

For real. At least JCVD was actually athletic and could do martial arts.

And kick higher than his opponents knees.

Even in his "prime", Seagal was a joke. And Aikido is a hilariously fake, lazy "martial art".

It's interesting in training more or less one range of interaction which it kindof does ok.  But without the rest, it's like training a basketball player to be really, really good at only juking left and then hitting a layup.  Great in that one type of interaction, not great at everything else.


Still, most presentations I have seen still make it look one step away from that "no-touch K.O." bullshiat.
When it's your "opponent" doing all the work and none of your takedowns work without at least some cooperation from his side, it might be time to learn how to punch.

And as for Seagal, I strongly recommend checking out some of his more recent videos. That up there was 1993, when he was somewhat in shape. Now it's just sad. And hilarious.
 
2020-09-24 6:51:58 AM  

bisi: NateAsbestos: vudukungfu: Segal would be dead, had it happened. That pussy has a glass jaw.

For real. At least JCVD was actually athletic and could do martial arts.

And kick higher than his opponents knees.

Even in his "prime", Seagal was a joke. And Aikido is a hilariously fake, lazy "martial art".

[Youtube-video https://www.youtube.com/embed/cwFwSIMm​q4g]


THis reminds me a lot of that 'martial arts' video that was basically a bunch of guys flapping their hands & elbows about while wearing dad jeans & running around someone's back yard. Buggered if I can find it now
 
2020-09-24 7:12:07 AM  

bisi: BafflerMeal: bisi: NateAsbestos: vudukungfu: Segal would be dead, had it happened. That pussy has a glass jaw.

For real. At least JCVD was actually athletic and could do martial arts.

And kick higher than his opponents knees.

Even in his "prime", Seagal was a joke. And Aikido is a hilariously fake, lazy "martial art".

It's interesting in training more or less one range of interaction which it kindof does ok.  But without the rest, it's like training a basketball player to be really, really good at only juking left and then hitting a layup.  Great in that one type of interaction, not great at everything else.

Still, most presentations I have seen still make it look one step away from that "no-touch K.O." bullshiat.
When it's your "opponent" doing all the work and none of your takedowns work without at least some cooperation from his side, it might be time to learn how to punch.

And as for Seagal, I strongly recommend checking out some of his more recent videos. That up there was 1993, when he was somewhat in shape. Now it's just sad. And hilarious.


And in his later movies they've just given up hiding the fight double and assuming you don't care that a coat appears and disappears mid fight.

Steven Seagal('s stunt double) in Today You Die
Youtube 9gcPxg5N-z0
 
2020-09-24 7:24:52 AM  
JCVD would have hospitalized Seagal.
Van Damme was a certified bad ass.
Seagal is a farking loser.

Cum Town - Steven Seagal
Youtube BzIHyF7UWY4
 
2020-09-24 7:29:14 AM  
Arnold admits to losing a fight to Van Damme on the set of Predator.

Segal would have been down in 3 hits or fewer.
 
2020-09-24 7:34:13 AM  
I still can't wrap my head around the fact that "action" movies featuring his wrinkled, bloated carcass still make enough money that someone out there is willing to finance them.  The "dollar store bargain bin" and "spinning rack by a truck stop cash register" DVD markets must be way larger than I had thought.
 
2020-09-24 7:35:04 AM  
There would have been no winners in this fight.  I mean, someone would have won the fight, but both the guys were losers.  Seagal just always seemed like a moron - the stories of him hosting Saturday Night Live back in the day are just legendary.  That being said, Van Damme seemed like the 80s action movie version of that asshole boss at Chotchkies ... every time the guy the guy would get interviewed, he would spend the whole time throwing his name in with Schwarzenegger and Stallone, as if he was right up there with them as far as movie stars.  I'm surprised Stallone would even let him come to a party at his house - he probably crashed it.
 
2020-09-24 7:37:45 AM  
have you seen Jean-Claude Van Johnson on prime? I found this series last week and watched a couple of episodes before vacation. Jean-Claude's acting career was a cover for his black ops career.
 
2020-09-24 8:04:22 AM  

Cythraul: No way, man.  I wouldn't fight someone who knows the "death touch."


Bottom one.
 
2020-09-24 8:13:37 AM  
S Seagal would get his arse whooped. Then he would sick his MOB friends on JCVD. Remember only one of the two took MOB money to jumpstart their career. And the MOB wives keep asking where is my money.
 
2020-09-24 8:21:25 AM  
So "The Expendables"  prequel then?
 
2020-09-24 8:22:32 AM  

Quemapueblo: So "The Expendables"  prequel then?


More like "The Expandables"
 
2020-09-24 8:25:59 AM  

Commander Lysdexic: Arnold admits to losing a fight to Van Damme on the set of Predator.

Segal would have been down in 3 hits or fewer.


Why was VD on the set of Predator?
 
2020-09-24 8:26:24 AM  

bisi: BafflerMeal: bisi: NateAsbestos: vudukungfu: Segal would be dead, had it happened. That pussy has a glass jaw.

For real. At least JCVD was actually athletic and could do martial arts.

And kick higher than his opponents knees.

Even in his "prime", Seagal was a joke. And Aikido is a hilariously fake, lazy "martial art".

It's interesting in training more or less one range of interaction which it kindof does ok.  But without the rest, it's like training a basketball player to be really, really good at only juking left and then hitting a layup.  Great in that one type of interaction, not great at everything else.

Still, most presentations I have seen still make it look one step away from that "no-touch K.O." bullshiat.
When it's your "opponent" doing all the work and none of your takedowns work without at least some cooperation from his side, it might be time to learn how to punch.

And as for Seagal, I strongly recommend checking out some of his more recent videos. That up there was 1993, when he was somewhat in shape. Now it's just sad. And hilarious.


It LOOKS like that, and Especially Japanese Schools definitely are extremely formalized. But in my early 20's I had the pleasure of being instructed by a man who was a very high-ranking Tang So Do Blackbelt and also equally ranked in Aikido (5th degree black belt is a rough approximation though they don't actually use those terms in Korea or Japan)  who was also a high school physics teacher.   When Aikido it is done violently and with purpose it is....impressive.  It basically turns your opponent's body into a series of levers that give you massive mechanic advantage over them.  Because of that the smallest motion from youcan literally send your opponent flying, which is why is LOOKS so fake.  With the right wrist lock I can hold you down on your knees with just two fingers, or with another I can literally flip you to the floor just by turning my writst to the left or right a few inches.  Your arm is lock the way it DOESN'T bend and forms a long lever that makes it impossible for you to keep you balance.

When I studied with Mike he was..a scrawny guy. 6'2 maybe 160 soaking wet.  I was NOT, I was, being generous, a fairly strong fat guy   6'2 325 but still able to do 10+ pull-ups.  I became Mike's favorite victi...er demonstration partner precisely because even his students were always skeptical about whether this stuff *really worked*   (we were also learning Tang-so-Do which is a "hard style" Korean martial art originally developed for back alley brawls against occupying Japanese army forces, so it had a strong emphasis on "practical" strikes...not the long flowing high kicks that say tae kwon do is famous for, and that mindset extended to the ju-jitsu and aikido he was teaching).

Mike would instruct me to do whatever I could to resist him, including fighting "dirty" and 10 out of 10 times I ended up flat on my back or flying across the room and he never had to break a sweat or even interrupt his lecture while doing it.
 
2020-09-24 8:35:12 AM  

born_yesterday: Commander Lysdexic: Arnold admits to losing a fight to Van Damme on the set of Predator.

Segal would have been down in 3 hits or fewer.

Why was VD on the set of Predator?


he was supposed to be the predator originally

https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/hea​t​-vision/predator-why-jean-claude-van-d​amme-left-movie-1191787
 
2020-09-24 8:38:53 AM  

born_yesterday: Commander Lysdexic: Arnold admits to losing a fight to Van Damme on the set of Predator.

Segal would have been down in 3 hits or fewer.

Why was VD on the set of Predator?


Because he was the original actor to play the titular Predator. The reports are conflicting on why he left the project, but holy shiat the original costume he had to wear for it was bad.
 
2020-09-24 8:45:21 AM  

Marcos P: born_yesterday: Commander Lysdexic: Arnold admits to losing a fight to Van Damme on the set of Predator.

Segal would have been down in 3 hits or fewer.

Why was VD on the set of Predator?

he was supposed to be the predator originally

https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/heat​-vision/predator-why-jean-claude-van-d​amme-left-movie-1191787


LOL.

"Jean-Claude Van Damme was someone who used to constantly come into my office, jumping up in the air, showing me his moves, begging me for work."

I cannot be the only person that has no trouble at all picturing themselves trying to work on their computer while JCVD does this.
 
2020-09-24 8:47:38 AM  

facisto: born_yesterday: Commander Lysdexic: Arnold admits to losing a fight to Van Damme on the set of Predator.

Segal would have been down in 3 hits or fewer.

Why was VD on the set of Predator?

Because he was the original actor to play the titular Predator. The reports are conflicting on why he left the project, but holy shiat the original costume he had to wear for it was bad.


The link that Marcos P posted goes into great detail about how that suit not only didn't look very good, but was exceptionally uncomfortable.  All news to me; all I knew was that the chopper pilot at the end was the guy playing the predator.
 
2020-09-24 8:50:17 AM  

born_yesterday: Marcos P: born_yesterday: Commander Lysdexic: Arnold admits to losing a fight to Van Damme on the set of Predator.

Segal would have been down in 3 hits or fewer.

Why was VD on the set of Predator?

he was supposed to be the predator originally

https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/heat​-vision/predator-why-jean-claude-van-d​amme-left-movie-1191787

LOL.

"Jean-Claude Van Damme was someone who used to constantly come into my office, jumping up in the air, showing me his moves, begging me for work."

I cannot be the only person that has no trouble at all picturing themselves trying to work on their computer while JCVD does this.


I recently watched Blood Sport so you are not alone.
 
2020-09-24 9:08:34 AM  

batlock666: Here's a video of what happened:

[iFrame https://www.youtube.com/embed/nkskuSXq​UD0?autoplay=1&widget_referrer=https%3​A%2F%2Fwww.fark.com&start=0&enablejsap​i=1&origin=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.fark.com&​widgetid=1]


<SMILE>

The dude runs like a girl!
 
2020-09-24 9:21:53 AM  

Warrior Kermit: Stantz: Think the only two Seagal movies I'll deliberately watch are Under Siege & Executive Decision. One because of Erika & Tommy, the other because he's in it for 5 minutes, tops.

I will admit I enjoy Under Siege a fun popcorn flick, they pretty much could have put any actor in Seagals role and the movie would be the same.


This.

Under Siege is the only Seagal movie I've seen. And if I remember correctly it was only because my brother was a fan at the time so he took over the tv and I just watched because I didn't have anything better to do.

The only part I liked Seagal in was as a guest star on a Johnny Bravo cartoon. Funny stuff.
 
2020-09-24 10:08:46 AM  
One is a professional dancer, the other a "master" of a martial art that requires full cooperation from your "opponent"

This wouldn't have been Bruce Lee vs Chuck Norris.
 
2020-09-24 10:15:25 AM  
Neither of them are tough guys.  Here you can read about JCVD fighting Chuck Zito at Scores. It wasn't a contest.
 
2020-09-24 11:21:30 AM  

born_yesterday: Commander Lysdexic: Arnold admits to losing a fight to Van Damme on the set of Predator.

Segal would have been down in 3 hits or fewer.

Why was VD on the set of Predator?


He was playing the alien. Not joking. Obviously he was cut.
 
2020-09-24 11:31:38 AM  

Robo Beat: I still can't wrap my head around the fact that "action" movies featuring his wrinkled, bloated carcass still make enough money that someone out there is willing to finance them.  The "dollar store bargain bin" and "spinning rack by a truck stop cash register" DVD markets must be way larger than I had thought.


He owns Steamroller Productions. He produces all of his own movies...
 
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