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(Jalopnik)   "It's absurd that anyone with $150,000 can just place an order for this level of rolling vehicular manslaughter from the factory"   (jalopnik.com) divider line
    More: Plug, Porsche 911 GT3, Model S Plaid, Porsche 996, Porsche 911, Tesla Roadster, Tuesday's Tesla Battery Day announcement, 24 Hours of Daytona, 2006 Spa 24 Hours  
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3032 clicks; posted to Fandom » on 23 Sep 2020 at 3:56 AM (5 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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TWX [TotalFark]
2020-09-22 10:50:17 PM  
i.imgur.comView Full Size


/fully expects that this was the inspiration for the name
 
2020-09-23 4:16:19 AM  

TWX: [i.imgur.com image 498x262] [View Full Size image _x_]

/fully expects that this was the inspiration for the name


It absolutely was. Previously, via a software update Tesla added Ludicrous Speed to certain models, giving them a sub-4 second 0-60 time, or something along those lines.
 
2020-09-23 5:12:25 AM  
Idiots who dont need that much zip will end up killing themselves or others, and OF COURSE the muskrat is hyping the shiat out of that. All he cares is that you gave him your money, he gives no farks about you being safe
 
2020-09-23 5:23:06 AM  

lifeslammer: Idiots who dont need that much zip will end up killing themselves or others, and OF COURSE the muskrat is hyping the shiat out of that. All he cares is that you gave him your money, he gives no farks about you being safe


The insurance corporations, hand in hand with the financial institutions, may -ahem- tire of paying out because Audrey Smythe had the down payment but none of the skills.
 
2020-09-23 6:14:16 AM  

2wolves: lifeslammer: Idiots who dont need that much zip will end up killing themselves or others, and OF COURSE the muskrat is hyping the shiat out of that. All he cares is that you gave him your money, he gives no farks about you being safe

The insurance corporations, hand in hand with the financial institutions, may -ahem- tire of paying out because Audrey Smythe had the down payment but none of the skills.


Nah, they will just them a fortune for a policy and raise everyone else's a few percent. It's a win-win.
 
2020-09-23 6:19:23 AM  
Were cars ever not rolling vehicular homicide machines? Motorists aren't professional drivers and are insufficiently regulated for the daily responsibility that they wield.
 
2020-09-23 6:20:29 AM  
The Plaid is still limited to the same five boring colors as all the other Model S,

So it is not available it plaid?
 
2020-09-23 6:23:48 AM  
A couple of those 0-60 sprints probably use more electricity than I generate all month with my solar panels.
 
2020-09-23 6:57:51 AM  
Oh I am sooooo looking forward to seeing the updates about this on pornhub!!
 
2020-09-23 7:00:13 AM  
Author is a bit of a dick, tbh.
 
2020-09-23 7:21:30 AM  

lifeslammer: Idiots who dont need that much zip will end up killing themselves or others, and OF COURSE the muskrat is hyping the shiat out of that. All he cares is that you gave him your money, he gives no farks about you being safe


I'm sure you're equally concerned about evil gas cars that are similarly quick.
 
2020-09-23 7:32:41 AM  
Even with all the power in the world, can a car on street tires really do a sub-2 second 0-60? Modern tires are great and all, but at some point you're just going to turn them into a cloud of smoke rather than speed.
 
2020-09-23 7:47:56 AM  

Vespers: Author is a bit of a dick, tbh.


Its jalopnik. If the car isn't a Miata, or a brown station wagon with a manual transmission, then it's nothing but crap. Their incessant masturbation over literally anything with a manual transmission is tedious at best, and borders on "I'm sick of this shiatty site".
 
2020-09-23 7:53:54 AM  
I thought we'd reached the peak of quarter mile insanity when Lucid told me that the tri-motor Air could spit out a 9.3-second run down the 1320.

Makes sense to me.   After all, the Tri-motor has corrugated wings:

Fark user imageView Full Size


And so did the SR-71:

Fark user imageView Full Size


So you *KNOW* the Tri-motor has to be capable of insanely high speeds.
 
2020-09-23 7:54:00 AM  
"It's absurd that anyone with $150,000 can just place an order for this level of rolling vehicular manslaughter from the factory. If you want to run faster than 12s, you should have to build it yourself.

So the author prefers exclusivity built on skill, knowledge, and affluence rather than affluence alone.

Burn the heretic!
 
2020-09-23 7:55:38 AM  

Laobaojun: "It's absurd that anyone with $150,000 can just place an order for this level of rolling vehicular manslaughter from the factory. If you want to run faster than 12s, you should have to build it yourself.

So the author prefers exclusivity built on skill, knowledge, and affluence rather than affluence alone.

Burn the heretic!


Wait:  Is burning heretics carbon neutral?
 
2020-09-23 8:04:20 AM  

dittybopper: Laobaojun: "It's absurd that anyone with $150,000 can just place an order for this level of rolling vehicular manslaughter from the factory. If you want to run faster than 12s, you should have to build it yourself.

So the author prefers exclusivity built on skill, knowledge, and affluence rather than affluence alone.

Burn the heretic!

Wait:  Is burning heretics carbon neutral?


Depends;  If you just scatter the ashes, no. if you serve the remains to endangered species, you get carbon credits.  If he or she is a fatty, and you render them down for soap and lamp oil, it is a wash.
 
2020-09-23 8:22:14 AM  

Likwit: lifeslammer: Idiots who dont need that much zip will end up killing themselves or others, and OF COURSE the muskrat is hyping the shiat out of that. All he cares is that you gave him your money, he gives no farks about you being safe

I'm sure you're equally concerned about evil gas cars that are similarly quick.


Most people dont have the money to afford the equivalent sports cars (Prosche 911 deathtraps). Almost any EV can be set up to give you insane (and dangerous) acceleration. Its never something the average joe needs to have, and its something that the stupid joe will use badly
 
2020-09-23 8:24:23 AM  

dittybopper: Laobaojun: "It's absurd that anyone with $150,000 can just place an order for this level of rolling vehicular manslaughter from the factory. If you want to run faster than 12s, you should have to build it yourself.

So the author prefers exclusivity built on skill, knowledge, and affluence rather than affluence alone.

Burn the heretic!

Wait:  Is burning heretics carbon neutral?


One time creation of carbon by buring versus the creation by their continued respiration for whatever remains of their lives.
 
2020-09-23 8:25:13 AM  

Laobaojun: dittybopper: Laobaojun: "It's absurd that anyone with $150,000 can just place an order for this level of rolling vehicular manslaughter from the factory. If you want to run faster than 12s, you should have to build it yourself.

So the author prefers exclusivity built on skill, knowledge, and affluence rather than affluence alone.

Burn the heretic!

Wait:  Is burning heretics carbon neutral?

Depends;  If you just scatter the ashes, no. if you serve the remains to endangered species, you get carbon credits.  If he or she is a fatty, and you render them down for soap and lamp oil, it is a wash.


Wilhelm von Ellenbogen unavailable for comment.
 
2020-09-23 8:29:58 AM  
If it's anything like all the other Teslas
First run 0-60, 2 seconds
Second run, 5 seconds
Third run, timing switched to alarm clock
 
2020-09-23 8:30:55 AM  

006andahalf: dittybopper: Laobaojun: "It's absurd that anyone with $150,000 can just place an order for this level of rolling vehicular manslaughter from the factory. If you want to run faster than 12s, you should have to build it yourself.

So the author prefers exclusivity built on skill, knowledge, and affluence rather than affluence alone.

Burn the heretic!

Wait:  Is burning heretics carbon neutral?

One time creation of carbon by buring versus the creation by their continued respiration for whatever remains of their lives.


Except we don't create carbon.   Living humans are, essentially, carbon neutral, maybe even carbon negative for a significant fraction of their lives.   Burning a human (as opposed to burying them) releases all the carbon in their body at once.
 
2020-09-23 8:36:36 AM  
Running in the eights off the showroom floor?  JFC!!!

I used to wrench on a buddy's NHRA toy ('71 Satellite with a Street Hemi dropped in) that ran 9.90's and that thing scared the shiat out of me.
 
2020-09-23 8:39:55 AM  
Car fetishists are as silly to listen to as gun fetishists.
 
2020-09-23 8:53:12 AM  

Vespers: Author is a bit of a dick, tbh.


No kidding. I heard about the car and thought, 'Meh, that's cool I guess.' Then the author just kept yapping like a pissed-off tampon customer. They should change the headline to "Pissy Musk-bashing Edgelord Hates Electric Cars And Wants The World To Stay Trapped In 1957 Like His Stupid Imagination".
 
2020-09-23 8:53:15 AM  

jakedata: A couple of those 0-60 sprints probably use more electricity than I generate all month with my solar panels.


Considering the battery packs are 65 to 100kwh, and you have a modest 2.5kwh solar array and 5 hours of direct sunlight each day for an average of 10kwh generated each day, it will take you 10 days to charge up a completely depleted 100kwh battery.

Coincidentally, I was looking for a battery or generator/battery combo to complement my solar panels, and it came up that if you have an EV, it can and will drain all of your battery if you're charging it at the same time you're running on battery.

My next thought was "how can I run my house off the EV, then?"

/tesla power walls are compatible with all solar inverters
//but if you have solar, the PW will only charge from solar and not the grid or a generator so you can claim green energy credits.
///enphase batteries require upgrading the microinverters, so i'll pass
 
2020-09-23 9:02:50 AM  

dittybopper: I thought we'd reached the peak of quarter mile insanity when Lucid told me that the tri-motor Air could spit out a 9.3-second run down the 1320.

Makes sense to me.   After all, the Tri-motor has corrugated wings:

[Fark user image 850x637]

And so did the SR-71:

[Fark user image 800x480]

So you *KNOW* the Tri-motor has to be capable of insanely high speeds.



OK, who "Smart"ed this?   It's not smart, it's a dumb farkin' joke.   So funny it if you must, but don't smart it, because it's not smart-worthy.
 
2020-09-23 9:03:18 AM  

jjorsett: Car fetishists are as silly to listen to as gun fetishists.


Only when you can't understand the jargon.
 
2020-09-23 9:03:48 AM  
Sub-10 seconds, eh?  Better have a roll cage.
 
2020-09-23 9:05:34 AM  

jjorsett: Car fetishists are as silly to listen to as gun fetishists.


As opposed to fetishist fetishists such as yourself?

It's fetishception!
 
2020-09-23 9:16:24 AM  

Likwit: lifeslammer: Idiots who dont need that much zip will end up killing themselves or others, and OF COURSE the muskrat is hyping the shiat out of that. All he cares is that you gave him your money, he gives no farks about you being safe

I'm sure you're equally concerned about evil gas cars that are similarly quick.


The difference is that those cars, while absurd as well, don't claim to have self-driving features.

Don't worry too much about these though - they'll slow down if the original owner ever sells - Elon made sure of that:

https://jalopnik.com/tesla-remotely-r​e​moves-autopilot-features-from-customer​-1841472617
 
2020-09-23 9:18:51 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-09-23 9:32:20 AM  

Hachitori: Likwit: lifeslammer: Idiots who dont need that much zip will end up killing themselves or others, and OF COURSE the muskrat is hyping the shiat out of that. All he cares is that you gave him your money, he gives no farks about you being safe

I'm sure you're equally concerned about evil gas cars that are similarly quick.

The difference is that those cars, while absurd as well, don't claim to have self-driving features.

Don't worry too much about these though - they'll slow down if the original owner ever sells - Elon made sure of that:

https://jalopnik.com/tesla-remotely-re​moves-autopilot-features-from-customer​-1841472617


What does the speed of the car have to do with the self-driving features?
 
2020-09-23 9:40:54 AM  
1100hp for 150K?

JFC
 
2020-09-23 9:44:03 AM  

dittybopper: jjorsett: Car fetishists are as silly to listen to as gun fetishists.

As opposed to fetishist fetishists such as yourself?

It's fetishception!


Fark user imageView Full Size


/oblig
 
2020-09-23 9:50:37 AM  

lifeslammer: Likwit: lifeslammer: Idiots who dont need that much zip will end up killing themselves or others, and OF COURSE the muskrat is hyping the shiat out of that. All he cares is that you gave him your money, he gives no farks about you being safe

I'm sure you're equally concerned about evil gas cars that are similarly quick.

Most people dont have the money to afford the equivalent sports cars (Prosche 911 deathtraps). Almost any EV can be set up to give you insane (and dangerous) acceleration. Its never something the average joe needs to have, and its something that the stupid joe will use badly


Seriously? $150,000 isn't exactly affordable. Just admit you have an irrational hate boner for Tesla.

I can think of about a dozen cars just off the top of my head that are far cheaper than a Model S Plaid, too quick for the average Joe, and much more dangerous than big sedan with massive crumple zones and active safety. The Ariel Atom is around $70K. That's essentially a children's go-kart with a supercharged Honda engine crammed into it. Hell, you can probably get a used 2010 Corvette that does 0-60 in 3.6s for about $25K.
 
2020-09-23 9:53:23 AM  
People also used to caution against trains capable of going 50 MPH because they thought it was too fast for the human body to withstand, and would cause the passengers to be torn apart, melt, or have their uteri squeezed out.
 
2020-09-23 9:55:10 AM  

2wolves: lifeslammer: Idiots who dont need that much zip will end up killing themselves or others, and OF COURSE the muskrat is hyping the shiat out of that. All he cares is that you gave him your money, he gives no farks about you being safe

The insurance corporations, hand in hand with the financial institutions, may -ahem- tire of paying out because Audrey Smythe had the down payment but none of the skills.


Since it's all software -driven anyway, they should make Ludicrous Speed and above "unlockable achievements" that you get by demonstrating certain skills on an approved race track.  Make it something you have to earn by showing you can handle it.    The psychology of someone who would BUY a $135,000 car in the first place is one that would be MORE attracted to a car like that because of the concomitant increase in bragging rights if you do
 
2020-09-23 10:07:29 AM  
"You should have to build it yourself"....great, he'd rather have Cletus drop in a Procharger/ blow through carb equipped 672 with a glide into his shiatty 53 year old Camaro on 275 drag radials than have a modern AWD car with advanced electronic controls.  Anybody care which one is more dangerous when the driver runs out of talent?
 
2020-09-23 10:16:25 AM  

jack_o_the_hills: "You should have to build it yourself"....great, he'd rather have Cletus drop in a Procharger/ blow through carb equipped 672 with a glide into his shiatty 53 year old Camaro on 275 drag radials than have a modern AWD car with advanced electronic controls.  Anybody care which one is more dangerous when the driver runs out of talent?


I'll go with Cletus evey day and twice on Sunday.  In order to build a car with the drivetrain combo you suggested, it takes much more than a passing knowledge of the mechanics of building a race car.  You have fabrication, problem solving for fine tuning, and the knowledge that 672 cubic inches is nothing to toy with.  Whereas, Idiot A goes out and spends a bunch of money (maybe his, maybe his parent's) on a car he has no intimate knowledge of, and just hits a couple buttons and stabs the Go pedal.  We'll be lucky if he's not watching a video while the car makes its run in "Auto Pilot" mode
 
2020-09-23 10:18:54 AM  

Dr Jack Badofsky: jack_o_the_hills: "You should have to build it yourself"....great, he'd rather have Cletus drop in a Procharger/ blow through carb equipped 672 with a glide into his shiatty 53 year old Camaro on 275 drag radials than have a modern AWD car with advanced electronic controls.  Anybody care which one is more dangerous when the driver runs out of talent?

I'll go with Cletus evey day and twice on Sunday.  In order to build a car with the drivetrain combo you suggested, it takes much more than a passing knowledge of the mechanics of building a race car.  You have fabrication, problem solving for fine tuning, and the knowledge that 672 cubic inches is nothing to toy with.  Whereas, Idiot A goes out and spends a bunch of money (maybe his, maybe his parent's) on a car he has no intimate knowledge of, and just hits a couple buttons and stabs the Go pedal.  We'll be lucky if he's not watching a video while the car makes its run in "Auto Pilot" mode


What does autopilot have to do with how far it is?
 
2020-09-23 10:19:09 AM  
**fast

God dammit.
 
2020-09-23 10:29:32 AM  

Likwit: Dr Jack Badofsky: jack_o_the_hills: "You should have to build it yourself"....great, he'd rather have Cletus drop in a Procharger/ blow through carb equipped 672 with a glide into his shiatty 53 year old Camaro on 275 drag radials than have a modern AWD car with advanced electronic controls.  Anybody care which one is more dangerous when the driver runs out of talent?

I'll go with Cletus evey day and twice on Sunday.  In order to build a car with the drivetrain combo you suggested, it takes much more than a passing knowledge of the mechanics of building a race car.  You have fabrication, problem solving for fine tuning, and the knowledge that 672 cubic inches is nothing to toy with.  Whereas, Idiot A goes out and spends a bunch of money (maybe his, maybe his parent's) on a car he has no intimate knowledge of, and just hits a couple buttons and stabs the Go pedal.  We'll be lucky if he's not watching a video while the car makes its run in "Auto Pilot" mode

What does autopilot have to do with how far it is?


Someone who just plops down a bunch of money for a car they had little involvement in building will not be as familiar with what the thing is capable of.  It's like the inattentive idiots not watching where their car is going while the Tesla slams into a concrete barrier, or a Hellcat driver spins out into a tree.  Sure they have 100 grand.  Do they know how what they bought is going to react?  Probably not, and less so than a guy who built it himself.  A big block with a Pro-Charger installed in a car that never had that combo before is not a job that an amateur can pull off.  Not to mention get down the track on 275mm tires.
 
2020-09-23 10:30:40 AM  

kyleaugustus: Were cars ever not rolling vehicular homicide machines? Motorists aren't professional drivers and are insufficiently regulated for the daily responsibility that they wield.


But all professional drivers ARE motorists!

pyxis.nymag.comView Full Size


/used to play golf at Laguna Seca occasionally
 
2020-09-23 10:56:19 AM  

Magorn: 2wolves: lifeslammer: Idiots who dont need that much zip will end up killing themselves or others, and OF COURSE the muskrat is hyping the shiat out of that. All he cares is that you gave him your money, he gives no farks about you being safe

The insurance corporations, hand in hand with the financial institutions, may -ahem- tire of paying out because Audrey Smythe had the down payment but none of the skills.

Since it's all software -driven anyway, they should make Ludicrous Speed and above "unlockable achievements" that you get by demonstrating certain skills on an approved race track.  Make it something you have to earn by showing you can handle it.    The psychology of someone who would BUY a $135,000 car in the first place is one that would be MORE attracted to a car like that because of the concomitant increase in bragging rights if you do


People would just hire The Stig to speedrun them through their achievements.
 
2020-09-23 11:56:03 AM  
Oh FFS. It's not the price or the acceleration of a car that matters, it's whether the driver knows how to drive properly. You can kill people just as effectively in a $10,000 Nissan Micra as you can in an expensive luxury car.
 
2020-09-23 11:59:26 AM  

Dr Jack Badofsky: Likwit: Dr Jack Badofsky: jack_o_the_hills: "You should have to build it yourself"....great, he'd rather have Cletus drop in a Procharger/ blow through carb equipped 672 with a glide into his shiatty 53 year old Camaro on 275 drag radials than have a modern AWD car with advanced electronic controls.  Anybody care which one is more dangerous when the driver runs out of talent?

I'll go with Cletus evey day and twice on Sunday.  In order to build a car with the drivetrain combo you suggested, it takes much more than a passing knowledge of the mechanics of building a race car.  You have fabrication, problem solving for fine tuning, and the knowledge that 672 cubic inches is nothing to toy with.  Whereas, Idiot A goes out and spends a bunch of money (maybe his, maybe his parent's) on a car he has no intimate knowledge of, and just hits a couple buttons and stabs the Go pedal.  We'll be lucky if he's not watching a video while the car makes its run in "Auto Pilot" mode

What does autopilot have to do with how far it is?

Someone who just plops down a bunch of money for a car they had little involvement in building will not be as familiar with what the thing is capable of.  It's like the inattentive idiots not watching where their car is going while the Tesla slams into a concrete barrier, or a Hellcat driver spins out into a tree.  Sure they have 100 grand.  Do they know how what they bought is going to react?  Probably not, and less so than a guy who built it himself.  A big block with a Pro-Charger installed in a car that never had that combo before is not a job that an amateur can pull off.  Not to mention get down the track on 275mm tires.


You make some points, but also are making some assumptions. Driver skill counts for so much more than people realize. It doesn't matter if someone "builds their own race car", buys a Tesla with 1100 HP or an old Civic with 9% of that number. The skill and experience are what make the difference. You are making the assumption that because person A buys a modern performance car but person B builds their own, that somehow the latter is going to be a better driver. That couldn't be further from the truth. Having "intimate knowledge" of the car does not confer skill or talent.
 
2020-09-23 12:01:17 PM  
I was expecting to see "And get off my damned lawn!" as the last sentence of that article.
 
2020-09-23 12:21:05 PM  

dittybopper: dittybopper: I thought we'd reached the peak of quarter mile insanity when Lucid told me that the tri-motor Air could spit out a 9.3-second run down the 1320.

Makes sense to me.   After all, the Tri-motor has corrugated wings:

[Fark user image 850x637]

And so did the SR-71:

[Fark user image 800x480]

So you *KNOW* the Tri-motor has to be capable of insanely high speeds.


OK, who "Smart"ed this?   It's not smart, it's a dumb farkin' joke.   So funny it if you must, but don't smart it, because it's not smart-worthy.



Lesson learned.   If you tell people not to smart a dumb joke, they'll smart it even more.
 
2020-09-23 12:58:08 PM  

eKonk: Even with all the power in the world, can a car on street tires really do a sub-2 second 0-60? Modern tires are great and all, but at some point you're just going to turn them into a cloud of smoke rather than speed.


Teslas control the torque so there is no wheel slippage, hence no smoke.
 
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