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(Slate)   "I'm a 36-year-old single straight woman, and I really didn't think this was going to be an issue until later in life. I like sex and am easily turned on, but I haven't had good sex in over six years. Is there something wrong with the men or me?"   (slate.com) divider line
    More: Awkward, Oral sex, Sexual intercourse, Human sexual behavior, Human sexuality, Orgasm, Sexually transmitted disease, Fellatio, recent guy  
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678 clicks; posted to Discussion » on 22 Sep 2020 at 6:16 AM (9 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



Voting Results (Smartest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

 
2020-09-22 8:08:47 AM  
17 votes:
Not CSB.  During a prior geologic period, I was finishing another 36 hr. stretch of my medical education when a beautiful woman who was smart, witty, and attractive in every discernable way offered to haul my ashes and tuck me in for a good sleep.  I accepted the offer and off we went to my place.  Clothes came off quickly and and there she was.  A vision of feminine beauty, perhaps the most striking female I'd ever seen naked in person.  For the first time in my life, my little buddy did not respond.  I guess two things went amiss for me.  I was overtired big time and Miss World gave me a case of performance anxiety.  She was shocked by my lack of lumber apparently being acustomed to her men being rock hard at the mere thought of bedding her.  Instead of being helpful and applying skills to assist me achieving erection, she yelled at me as her first, step 1 reaction.  She yelled that I must be gay and an entire laundry list of personal shortcomings I should be ashamed of.  My reaction at that point was...."Well, OK then, I'm out and need some sleep.  Here are your clothes.  Have a nice day."
 
2020-09-22 7:33:24 AM  
14 votes:

Smackledorfer: She's 36 and they all have ED. You get ED in that age range by being morbidly obese.

Is she morbidly obese or a chubby chaser?

/Dnrtfa


I see young college age men complaining not infrequently online about erectile issues and it's mostly that after spending every moment alone since age 12 watching the most extreme porn they can find with a death grip on their stick it's hard to get it up for a real girl who isn't into the shiat the internet told them every girl is into.

I'm damned glad porn was hard enough to acquire when I was a teenager that I gave up and just dated girls instead.
 
2020-09-22 6:25:49 AM  
12 votes:
She's 36 and they all have ED. You get ED in that age range by being morbidly obese.

Is she morbidly obese or a chubby chaser?

/Dnrtfa
 
2020-09-22 1:59:20 AM  
12 votes:
If you have terrible sex in the morning, you've had terrible sex. If you have terrible sex all day, you're terrible at sex.
 
2020-09-22 8:10:56 AM  
11 votes:

Aussie_As: I turned 45 this year and thought I was experiencing erection issues. Then I hit rock bottom in this farked up 2020, out of that I worked out how not to be depressed or loathe myself, and now it's right back to normal in the bedroom department. My wife is over the moon. It was depression that was at the basis of it all.

If these guys in TFA are all mid 30's and presumably in not-terrible-shape then I'd suggest psychology would play a significant part in the issues they're experiencing. The woman in TFA is attracting troubled men, she either needs to delve into that, or alternatively find a guy whose psychological issues go the other way (overconfident douchebag types who love themselves, for example).



While you worked through your depression yourself, many people are on psychotropic medication.
These have a huge effect on libido.

Substance abusers are also prone to ED.

I believe that people of this dating age are also at a point where they are re-evaluating their lives and choices.
Divorces are common in this age group--those scars take a while to heal.

It's hard to let lose and enjoy yourself when the baggage you are carrying weighs ten thousand pounds.

I think the issue lies with everybody.
 
2020-09-22 6:28:16 AM  
11 votes:
I turned 45 this year and thought I was experiencing erection issues. Then I hit rock bottom in this farked up 2020, out of that I worked out how not to be depressed or loathe myself, and now it's right back to normal in the bedroom department. My wife is over the moon. It was depression that was at the basis of it all.

If these guys in TFA are all mid 30's and presumably in not-terrible-shape then I'd suggest psychology would play a significant part in the issues they're experiencing. The woman in TFA is attracting troubled men, she either needs to delve into that, or alternatively find a guy whose psychological issues go the other way (overconfident douchebag types who love themselves, for example).
 
2020-09-22 6:49:06 AM  
10 votes:
I wonder if she prefaces every encounter with a rendition of how terrible her recent lovers have been.

Performance anxiety does not enhance the sexual experience.
 
2020-09-22 6:36:00 AM  
10 votes:
Butt stuff.
 
2020-09-21 11:28:48 PM  
10 votes:
Try lesbians. They know what they are doing.
 
2020-09-22 12:53:37 AM  
9 votes:
Don't brag about how recently you've had sex, lady.
 
2020-09-22 12:00:06 AM  
9 votes:
"for the past few years, I haven't even been able to manage halfway decent sex, much less great sex or a relationship. The problem I keep experiencing in the dating world is the same: men with all kinds of erection issues. "

Well let's see. What do these bad sexual performances have in common?
1. These men do not perform well sexually.
2. Her.

Tough to tell which it is.

"None of them sound like they've made any effort to get help."

Now it's easier to tell.
 
2020-09-22 10:53:35 AM  
7 votes:
I wonder if she's the type that goes from zero to clothes off and "Do me right now. NOW!" in 10 seconds.

I know women are the ones that are supposed to be wanting more foreplay, but for many men too there's something to be said about spending some time being erotically playful before getting to the final act.it's a longer, more memorable experience for everyone, and if it's your first time with each other an important way to reveal the future intimacy potential in the relationship.

If all a guy or gal is built for is zero to "do me now" right away, that's actually quite boring in the long term.
 
2020-09-22 8:53:10 AM  
7 votes:

FrancoFile: She sounds like a ballbuster in her letter.
Most guys get intimidated by that, but some are turned on.  Maybe she needs to be looking for subs.


or maybe she needs to accept that some men's cocks change from 16 to 36 and while many are still ready to fark anything or anyone at any time, some need to feel some genuine affection or have a specific undisclosed fetish... just like women.

this woman is awful

/just hang at the gym and find an idiot you can fark like a dildo
 
2020-09-22 7:08:20 AM  
6 votes:
Have you tried being oversensitive about your appearance, over critical about their appearance, a steady stream of directions about what they should be doing for you, and belittling them when you don't climax?
You have?
I don't know what your problem could be.
 
2020-09-21 10:54:42 PM  
6 votes:
The Simpsons - A Little From Column A - A Little From Column B
Youtube pyhii0W6LAo
 
2020-09-21 10:51:40 PM  
6 votes:
Yes.
 
2020-09-22 8:49:19 AM  
5 votes:
She sounds like a ballbuster in her letter.
Most guys get intimidated by that, but some are turned on.  Maybe she needs to be looking for subs.
 
2020-09-22 8:58:18 AM  
4 votes:
One of those dildos that suction cups to the wall?
 
2020-09-22 6:19:36 AM  
4 votes:
If you can have a good wank - it's likely the men.
If you can't - it's likely you.

Caveat: in situation 'A' check the communication with the men in question. That may well be you.
 
2020-09-22 2:33:55 AM  
4 votes:
I don't know who it was six years ago that laid it down so hard everything since has seemed milquetoast, but if you could text me his number I would appreciate it.
 
2020-09-22 10:34:32 AM  
3 votes:
Ask the guy to finger your asshole during doggy style.
 
2020-09-22 10:23:49 AM  
2 votes:

thorpe: "for the past few years, I haven't even been able to manage halfway decent sex, much less great sex or a relationship. The problem I keep experiencing in the dating world is the same: men with all kinds of erection issues. "

Well let's see. What do these bad sexual performances have in common?
1. These men do not perform well sexually.
2. Her.

Tough to tell which it is.

"None of them sound like they've made any effort to get help."

Now it's easier to tell.


One thing that's weird having access to medical records is the astonishing number of supposedly healthy young men on boner pills for their limp dicks and retrograde emissions
 
2020-09-22 9:50:06 AM  
2 votes:

hardinparamedic: God, just buy a Sybian and swear off Cis men forever. Especially Cis men who think the clitoris is your pee hole.


Lots of women enjoy having sex with straight men.
 
2020-09-22 9:32:48 AM  
2 votes:
How are we supposed to diagnose her sex life with out pictures?!
 
2020-09-21 10:53:40 PM  
2 votes:
too easy.
 
2020-09-22 1:44:17 PM  
1 vote:
i'm married so i have not had sex in 5 years. I dont care.
 
2020-09-22 12:36:00 PM  
1 vote:

Jake Havechek: Get one of those double dong dildos.


Is it dildos or dildoes?  I've been wondering.
 
2020-09-22 11:52:28 AM  
1 vote:

ChibiDebuHage: I wonder if she's the type that goes from zero to clothes off and "Do me right now. NOW!" in 10 seconds.

I know women are the ones that are supposed to be wanting more foreplay, but for many men too there's something to be said about spending some time being erotically playful before getting to the final act.it's a longer, more memorable experience for everyone, and if it's your first time with each other an important way to reveal the future intimacy potential in the relationship.

If all a guy or gal is built for is zero to "do me now" right away, that's actually quite boring in the long term.


I had a GF who liked fairly prolonged foreplay, but then when the magic second hit it was go time. That point varied wildly.

That was a pita and we never synced up. Without condoms it would've been fine I think.
 
2020-09-22 11:28:52 AM  
1 vote:
Paul: Here is the 'letter' you asked me to write for filler in our letters column. I know it sounds like total BS but Penthouse forum ran crap like this for years and people still read them every issue.
 
2020-09-22 10:22:17 AM  
1 vote:

foo monkey: too easy.


media1.tenor.comView Full Size
 
2020-09-22 10:05:03 AM  
1 vote:
"I'm a 36-year-old single straight woman, and I really didn't think this was going to be an issue until later in life. I like sex and am easily turned on, but I haven't had good sex in over six years. Is there something wrong with the men or me?"

Maybe try keeping it under 5 guys at the same time.
 
2020-09-22 9:59:32 AM  
1 vote:
Men and women can have endocrine issues with testosterone/estrogen that effect libido, go get some bloodwork done and rule out the physical choices first.  Then there's depression, both of her and her partners.  Unlikely that she's had six years of depressed lovers, but if it's a type she's attracted to, not impossible.
 
2020-09-22 9:16:35 AM  
1 vote:
God, just buy a Sybian and swear off Cis men forever. Especially Cis men who think the clitoris is your pee hole.
 
2020-09-22 8:52:50 AM  
1 vote:
If all these guys are getting soft, maybe they just aren't that attracted to her for various reasons.
 
2020-09-22 8:48:24 AM  
1 vote:
This motivated mom found a way to scratch that itch.  Look into what her solution was/is:

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-09-22 8:46:29 AM  
1 vote:

BMFPitt: Laobaojun: a steady stream of directions about what they should be doing for you

I, for one, would love to have that.


Anything can be carried to excess, and tone of voice matters.
 
2020-09-22 8:38:16 AM  
1 vote:
If it really is an issue for a guy, you can just order meds online now. Sure you have an interview with a doctor, but they're employed by the people selling the pills so they won't deny you.
 
2020-09-22 7:35:37 AM  
1 vote:

Laobaojun: a steady stream of directions about what they should be doing for you


I, for one, would love to have that.
 
2020-09-22 7:32:23 AM  
1 vote:
Pay a bloke to soundproof your dwelling.
Purchase a sybian.
Shut up and sit down.
 
2020-09-22 4:54:14 AM  
1 vote:
Does your cooch smell like landfill?
 
2020-09-21 11:09:41 PM  
1 vote:
Why not both?
 
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