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(Lincoln Journal Star)   If you find yourself saying things like "Hidelee-ho, neighborinos"   (journalstar.com) divider line
    More: Amusing, Psychology, Emotion, Positive psychology, positive attitude, Feeling, positive psychologist Tim Lomas, difficult experiences, negative feelings  
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3792 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 Sep 2020 at 12:50 PM (5 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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2020-09-21 10:11:37 AM  
This actually sounds like how a comic I read yesterday described toxic masculinity.  Basically the shared concept is denying people a chance to feel their emotions is wrong, it writes off their experience and makes tgem feel worst for also failing to meet social "norms".
 
2020-09-21 10:28:46 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-09-21 12:38:30 PM  
This is what the inside of some people's minds looks like. And those are the people who need to be removed from our society.
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-09-21 12:52:21 PM  
I think it usually crosses the line when it becomes a verbal relationship.
 
2020-09-21 12:52:50 PM  
ANSWER A QUICK SURVEY QUESTION TO CONTINUE READING THIS CONTENT
 
2020-09-21 12:54:24 PM  
i.pinimg.comView Full Size
 
2020-09-21 12:56:43 PM  

tjsands1118: This actually sounds like how a comic I read yesterday described toxic masculinity.  Basically the shared concept is denying people a chance to feel their emotions is wrong, it writes off their experience and makes tgem feel worst for also failing to meet social "norms".


What a load of horse shiat.

If you're letting others determine what emotions you feel, you're the one with a problem, not them.
 
2020-09-21 12:58:55 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size

'Thanks for throwing rocks at me while I was up that tree!
It was ever-so fun falling out of it & losing my ability to walk!
I can't wait 'til I'm 18 & can buy a gun & say the word "f**k"'
 
2020-09-21 12:59:11 PM  
Move to Minnesota to experience world-class passive-aggressive superficial positivity, It's like kryptonite to New Yorkers.
 
2020-09-21 1:03:07 PM  
Canadian Ned
Youtube hnewjEEUs1c
 
2020-09-21 1:03:28 PM  
"Toxic" positivity.  God, are we at this point in 2020 now?
/smh
// fortunately FARK will remain unaffected and immune to this HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE personality defect.
 
2020-09-21 1:05:00 PM  
I call it "relentless optimism."

A friend of mine who got clean through rehab now suffers from this. I'm thrilled that she's sober, but holy sh*t, she has to twist every comment into some kind of "YOU HAVE THE POWER WITHIN YOU, YOU JUST DON'T REALIZE IT" bullsh*t.

It's like, let me just vent a little bit about my situation, I don't need you to constantly re-frame my entire world view to fit your positively-spun narrative.

I sincerely appreciate it when she makes insightful, salient points about motivation and attitude, but it's all gas and no brakes with the over-the-top positivity.
 
2020-09-21 1:06:16 PM  
Did you notice that the Neds shook hands with their lefts?
 
2020-09-21 1:06:47 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size

Don't forget to Smile!
Fark user imageView Full Size

Ding! Ding! Ding!
 
2020-09-21 1:06:49 PM  

dittybopper: tjsands1118: This actually sounds like how a comic I read yesterday described toxic masculinity.  Basically the shared concept is denying people a chance to feel their emotions is wrong, it writes off their experience and makes tgem feel worst for also failing to meet social "norms".

What a load of horse shiat.

If you're letting others determine what emotions you feel, you're the one with a problem, not them.


All it takes is a death in the family, or suffering through an affliction no one can see for this to become apparent. It's natural for people to encourage you to look on the bright side of things, etc, but too many decide to dismiss how you feel (because *they* cannot handle it) and just want you to "think positive and redirect that to creativity" while you're like "um, is it ok with you if I mourn the loss of my mother for a bit longer, or is that just too much for your precious, endlessly positive outlook on life to manage? Fark off, a**hole"
 
2020-09-21 1:08:16 PM  

Miss_Dorothy_Kilgallen: This is what the inside of some people's minds looks like. And those are the people who need to be removed from our society.
[Fark user image image 236x236]


I suspect it doesn't actually exist, and it is simply a cap of dangerously positive mantle of denial over a white-hot core of rage and sadness that could blow at any minute.

Not that it changes your assessment.
 
2020-09-21 1:09:30 PM  

dittybopper: tjsands1118: This actually sounds like how a comic I read yesterday described toxic masculinity.  Basically the shared concept is denying people a chance to feel their emotions is wrong, it writes off their experience and makes tgem feel worst for also failing to meet social "norms".

What a load of horse shiat.

If you're letting others determine what emotions you feel, you're the one with a problem, not them.


That's easy for you to say as a fully grown adult. When small children receive negative feedback from those around them when they express emotions in the wrong way, they will learn to repress emotions.

If you're a little boy who gets scolded for being sad, but not for being angry, what kind of a man does he grow up to be?
 
2020-09-21 1:10:52 PM  

dittybopper: tjsands1118: This actually sounds like how a comic I read yesterday described toxic masculinity.  Basically the shared concept is denying people a chance to feel their emotions is wrong, it writes off their experience and makes tgem feel worst for also failing to meet social "norms".

What a load of horse shiat.

If you're letting others determine what emotions you feel, you're the one with a problem, not them.


Because bullying is totally the victim's fault.

/a good friend was raised in a cult where anything less than constant smiling & chipper attitude was a sin and you would be treated as possibly possessed (even if she had been molested by a church elder), so yeah, maybe I am touchy about the "toxicly cheerful" thing.
 
2020-09-21 1:11:40 PM  

SirMadness: Miss_Dorothy_Kilgallen: This is what the inside of some people's minds looks like. And those are the people who need to be removed from our society.
[Fark user image image 236x236]

I suspect it doesn't actually exist, and it is simply a cap of dangerously positive mantle of denial over a white-hot core of rage and sadness that could blow at any minute.

Not that it changes your assessment.


Luckily hurricane season has been so quiet this year.

/Dick Face
 
2020-09-21 1:13:31 PM  
Eric Idle - "Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life" - STEREO HQ
Youtube SJUhlRoBL8M
 
2020-09-21 1:13:33 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-09-21 1:15:33 PM  
Donald J Trump is a toxic Pollyanna.
His optimism has killed thousands.
 
2020-09-21 1:16:36 PM  

dittybopper: tjsands1118: This actually sounds like how a comic I read yesterday described toxic masculinity.  Basically the shared concept is denying people a chance to feel their emotions is wrong, it writes off their experience and makes tgem feel worst for also failing to meet social "norms".

What a load of horse shiat.

If you're letting others determine what emotions you feel, you're the one with a problem, not them.


It's not letting someone determine your emotions, it is someone else forcing their coping mechanism on you and therefore denying the validity of your feelings. Many, when discussing emotional pain or frustration or anything don't need a platitude, just a sympathetic ear. We can determine for ourselves that nothing lasts forever and we will at some point start feeling better so can we express what we're feeling right now?
 
2020-09-21 1:17:30 PM  
Flanders apparently never read Proverbs 27:14.
"If anyone loudly blesses their neighbor early in the morning, it will be taken as a curse."

/not making it up
 
2020-09-21 1:17:34 PM  

dittybopper: tjsands1118: This actually sounds like how a comic I read yesterday described toxic masculinity.  Basically the shared concept is denying people a chance to feel their emotions is wrong, it writes off their experience and makes tgem feel worst for also failing to meet social "norms".

What a load of horse shiat.

If you're letting others determine what emotions you feel, you're the one with a problem, not them.


Great, now I feel even worse for doing it. Thanks a lot.
 
2020-09-21 1:18:18 PM  

Purple_Urkle: Donald J Trump is a toxic Pollyanna.
His optimism has killed thousands.


media.tenor.comView Full Size


I'd say you win the thread.
 
2020-09-21 1:20:13 PM  
Being positive is a great thing.
Trying to get people to "see the bright side" when they aren't ready/in the mood is overbearing.
 
2020-09-21 1:20:48 PM  

edmo: [Fark user image image 500x358]


Exactly what I thought.
 
2020-09-21 1:21:18 PM  

PapermonkeyExpress: "Toxic" positivity.  God, are we at this point in 2020 now?
/smh
// fortunately FARK will remain unaffected and immune to this HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE personality defect.


Dude, we've had toxic positivity ever since Richard Simmons.
 
2020-09-21 1:22:18 PM  
I am very positive most of the time.
I reserve my negativity for my ignorant political counterparts.

Of course, I say "ignorant" and "counterparts" to indicate my own inadequacies in political discussions as well.

But people who don't agree with me are still encouraged to roll around in poop.

/ kind of negative right there!
// but I am positive they are welcome to roll around in poop.
/// so good emotion selection overall.
 
2020-09-21 1:22:25 PM  

covfefe: ANSWER A QUICK SURVEY QUESTION TO CONTINUE READING THIS CONTENT


Fark positivity. I'm not taking a survey.

/Skip Survey
//until next time
///slashididdly
 
2020-09-21 1:26:17 PM  
Another example of toxic positivity:

"You're as happy as you decide to be."
"How can you be sad/angry? There are so many people so much worse off than you."
 
2020-09-21 1:26:31 PM  

1funguy: I am very positive most of the time.
I reserve my negativity for my ignorant political counterparts.

Of course, I say "ignorant" and "counterparts" to indicate my own inadequacies in political discussions as well.

But people who don't agree with me are still encouraged to roll around in poop.

/ kind of negative right there!
// but I am positive they are welcome to roll around in poop.
/// so good emotion selection overall.


"encouraging people to roll around in poop" is a good example of what's being talked about here, so thanks for putting your obliviousness on display.
 
2020-09-21 1:28:34 PM  
when you get upset about other people not being as excited about everything that excites you.
 
2020-09-21 1:32:09 PM  

mateomaui: PapermonkeyExpress: "Toxic" positivity.  God, are we at this point in 2020 now?
/smh
// fortunately FARK will remain unaffected and immune to this HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE personality defect.

Dude, we've had toxic positivity ever since Richard Simmons.


It's A LOT older than that! # NormanVincentPeale
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-09-21 1:35:36 PM  

Miss_Dorothy_Kilgallen: This is what the inside of some people's minds looks like. And those are the people who need to be removed from our society.
[Fark user image 236x236] [View Full Size image _x_]



You know who changes things for the better? People who think the current things suck.


Take our current American pandemic. People who ignored it to live in their land of glib, glitter and stupidity made it worse. And they're still going to Disneyland.
 
2020-09-21 1:36:17 PM  

Miss_Dorothy_Kilgallen: mateomaui: PapermonkeyExpress: "Toxic" positivity.  God, are we at this point in 2020 now?
/smh
// fortunately FARK will remain unaffected and immune to this HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE personality defect.

Dude, we've had toxic positivity ever since Richard Simmons.

It's A LOT older than that! # NormanVincentPeale
[Fark user image image 425x545]


Have to admit I forgot about him, but I ask you, was his toxipivity memorialized in a Simpsons episode? 
i.imgur.comView Full Size
 
2020-09-21 1:38:04 PM  

mateomaui: Miss_Dorothy_Kilgallen: mateomaui: PapermonkeyExpress: "Toxic" positivity.  God, are we at this point in 2020 now?
/smh
// fortunately FARK will remain unaffected and immune to this HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE personality defect.

Dude, we've had toxic positivity ever since Richard Simmons.

It's A LOT older than that! # NormanVincentPeale
[Fark user image image 425x545]

Have to admit I forgot about him, but I ask you, was his toxipivity memorialized in a Simpsons episode? [i.imgur.com image 500x375]


Tbh, it wouldn't surprise me to find out Peale actually was in a Simpsons episode somewhere. It's their wheelhouse.
 
2020-09-21 1:38:44 PM  

geekbikerskum: Another example of toxic positivity:

"You're as happy as you decide to be."
"How can you be sad/angry? There are so many people so much worse off than you."


I used to do that to myself, a lot, until a friend pointed out that while perspective is healthy and it is only fair to acknowledge you may not have it as bad as someone else, it in no way negates your own experience nor invalidates your personal pain/trauma.
 
2020-09-21 1:41:33 PM  
Stupid Flanders.
 
2020-09-21 1:43:19 PM  

mateomaui: mateomaui: Miss_Dorothy_Kilgallen: mateomaui: PapermonkeyExpress: "Toxic" positivity.  God, are we at this point in 2020 now?
/smh
// fortunately FARK will remain unaffected and immune to this HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE personality defect.

Dude, we've had toxic positivity ever since Richard Simmons.

It's A LOT older than that! # NormanVincentPeale
[Fark user image image 425x545]

Have to admit I forgot about him, but I ask you, was his toxipivity memorialized in a Simpsons episode? [i.imgur.com image 500x375]

Tbh, it wouldn't surprise me to find out Peale actually was in a Simpsons episode somewhere. It's their wheelhouse.


Wait... is Flanders supposed to be a version of Peale? Totally could be.
 
2020-09-21 1:45:30 PM  
Whenever I meet someone obnoxiously cheerful and positive, I just assume that they do not want a caffeinated beverage.  I'm not the only one, right?
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-09-21 1:46:20 PM  
NYC Guy: "Pope. It's Frank. I have a major problem with this contract revision you sent over."

Me: "Heeeey, Frankie! How's it gohin', eh? Good tah hear from yah! How's dah vedder over dere in dah Big Apple tuhday?"

NYC Guy: "Um, it's fine...now, back to this contract situation..."

Me: Oh, yah? I betcha dah vedders a lot bedder den it is here in dah Mini Apple tuhday. HAHAHA! But, Grandma always said dats how we keep dah riff-raff out. HAHAHA! Well, anyvay, it sure is nice to hear from yah. So, what's dah madder with dah contract? What's got you so grumpy dis mornin'?"

NYC Guy: "Well, this $2,000 retainer - we didn't discuss this."

Me: "Oh, yah. Dats purdy standard for a job like dis one. Say, you ever take dah subvay to voork? I bet dats a lot of fun. We have dah Skyvays here to stay out of dah colt, dontcha knoh. It's colder den a witch's tit her tuhday. I betcha you run into some real characters on dah subvay."

NYC Guy: (sigh) "Yeah, but about this retainer..."

Me: "Yah. Dah retainer is to cover dah cost of dah Marketing Manager, but you already knoh dat because you are a marketing genius from waaaay back, yah. What am I doin' tryin' to tell you sumtin' about marketing? So, yah, it's purdy much standard, like I said."

NYC Guy: (heavy sigh) "It is in certain cases, but we never talked..."

Me: "Oh, I talked about it wit dah udder guy. He was nice. Seemed smart too. He said it was fine."

NYC Guy: "Jimmy?"

Me: "Yah. Jimmy."

NYC Guy: "Jimmy said the retainer was OK?"

Me: "Yah, mostly he said you'd OK it because you really know what you're doing. Hey, do you think dah Twins will ever beat dah Yankees in dah playoffs? Boy, you guys have really had our number the last coupla...

NYC Guy: "FINE! FARK! YOU CAN HAVE THE GODDAMN RETAINER, POPE!"

Me: That sounds great, Frank. Please approve my redlines, sign and send the contract back to me. I will get you a fully countersigned agreement as soon as possible. It has been a real pleasure working with you during this negotiation. I hope you have a great day."
 
2020-09-21 1:49:36 PM  

Miss_Dorothy_Kilgallen: Whenever I meet someone obnoxiously cheerful and positive, I just assume that they do not want a caffeinated beverage.  I'm not the only one, right?
[Fark user image image 425x637]


Give that guy a strong alcoholic beverage and just sit back to watch things change.
 
2020-09-21 1:50:39 PM  
Well, I mean, I do know no one likes a "pesado" (someone who's always negative and whiny and generally sort of a bummer). But no one likes a happy camper either. That said, I think that lately with *gesturing widely* I think a lot of people are trying to keep a brave face while they are really struggling on the inside. People should be given permission to commiserate, but then we can't wallow in that misery. It's a matter of reading the room, I think.
 
2020-09-21 1:52:06 PM  
"....diminishing someone's difficult experiences can leave them feeling they should hide negative feelings in the future. "

More like STFU, whap! upside the head with a lead filled snow-shoe.

I feel better already.
 
2020-09-21 1:57:02 PM  

dbirchall: Flanders apparently never read Proverbs 27:14.
"If anyone loudly blesses their neighbor early in the morning, it will be taken as a curse."

/not making it up


I can just see Hershfield out there in the desert. "No. You see, I saw Shadrach and just had to be like "Shadrach! You son-of a-sheep! May God Bless You!"  Meanwhile Shadrach is like, "This fool be lying. Yeah he is saying it like a blessing but its 4:30 in the morning and he's waking up my goats."  This sh*t happened so frequently, in fact, IT MADE IT INTO THE BIBLE.  People be stupid forever, yo.
 
2020-09-21 2:14:59 PM  
"Do you know what it's like to be around these people?  It's pretty farking annoying."

FDA Approves Depressant Drug For The Annoyingly Cheerful
Youtube jd4tugPM83c
 
2020-09-21 2:16:03 PM  
I've never met a perpetually optimistic and happy person who wasn't actually a horribly depressed wreck of a human being on the inside.

Actually mentally healthy people can casually transition between the spectrum of emotions and without hitting excessive extremes. To drive hard in one direction or another is just different expressions of the same inner turmoil.
 
2020-09-21 2:28:29 PM  
I've learned that for most things in life, just aim for the middle. Too much or too little is when things start going bad, or aren't worth the consequences.
 
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