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(The Atlantic)   Boomer parenting led to millennial parenting burnout   (theatlantic.com) divider line
    More: Awkward, Parenting, Generation Y, Childhood, Adult, Parent, Joe Pinsker, Parenting styles, Psychology  
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506 clicks; posted to Discussion » on 21 Sep 2020 at 4:52 AM (4 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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2020-09-21 6:28:17 AM  
Author: Over the last half-century, increasing economic precarity and anxiety over downward mobility has made parents increasingly fearful for their children's futures. Afraid their children will be inadequately prepared for a harsher world, white-middle-class parents have become increasingly goal-oriented. That sort of parenting has long been a necessity for minority and immigrant families as well, but white-middle-class parents still continue under the belief that life *should* be as easy as simply following your dreams, even as they obsess over market optimisation, which causes anxiety and a sense of burnout.

Editor: So you're saying that Boomers' terrible parenting is why Millennials are precious snowflakes who need a safe space.

Author: No, I --

Editor: Too late, already got 15,000 rageclicks, thanks for the content
 
2020-09-21 7:28:05 AM  
pkjun:

Editor: So you're saying that Boomers' terrible parenting is why Millennials are precious snowflakes who need a safe space.

Author: No, I --

Editor: Too late, already got 15,000 rageclicks, thanks for the content


Exactly!  And this is only the second comment in a generational fark link.  I'm going to throw some gas on the fire for Drew and see if we can't generate an honest discussion:

I posit that Boomers as a generation are evil and worse than if Hitler impregnated Satan while driving slow in the passing lane.  But, I also believe that avocados and toast individually are killing the rainforest and the major cause of late-term abortion in wayward teens.  So the Millennials' penchant for combining the two is roughly akin to Trump replacing RBG on the Supreme Court with a special needs Death Row inmate.
 
2020-09-21 8:13:41 AM  
As my dad's mechanic, Mike, once told me, it's apparent that every generation blames the one before, and all of their frustrations come beating on your door.
 
2020-09-21 8:17:51 AM  

eKonk: As my dad's mechanic, Mike, once told me, it's apparent that every generation blames the one before, and all of their frustrations come beating on your door.


Say it loud.
 
2020-09-21 8:31:35 AM  

SBinRR: eKonk: As my dad's mechanic, Mike, once told me, it's apparent that every generation blames the one before, and all of their frustrations come beating on your door.

Say it loud.


Say it clear.
 
2020-09-21 9:30:45 AM  

bostonguy: SBinRR: eKonk: As my dad's mechanic, Mike, once told me, it's apparent that every generation blames the one before, and all of their frustrations come beating on your door.

Say it loud.

Say it clear.


You can listen as well as you hear
 
2020-09-21 9:44:28 AM  
Some advice, good for humans of any generation: it's not your parents' fault. Get on with life.
 
2020-09-21 10:04:32 AM  
I'm a boomer.  My kids are all gen x.  A bunch of boomer offspring are gen x.  Some percentage of millineals are born of gen x.  Are statisticians or, more likely, clickbait article authors unable to make this distinction?  I'm guessing there isn't much difference between boomer and gen x parented millineals.
 
2020-09-21 10:20:47 AM  
The Silent generation truly is the most cunning of all.  No lemons into lemonade...life gave them lemonade and they turned it into a bottling operation.

Imagine you were born in the mid 30's to mid 40's. You're too young to die in WWII or Korea, but by the time Vietnam hits big, you're already old enough to let the boomers go to the fodder.  You start your family in the mid 50's-mid 60's, getting established in your career while boomers are either trying to avoid the Viet Cong or out baking their brains in a muddy field.   This is, loosely, the Lorraine and George McFly generation.  In the 70s and 80's, you get divorced, wear leisure suits, get remarried, fark up your kids lives, and leave them to listen to KISS and Bowie at home alone.  You have your life to live.  In the 1980's, you vote Ronald Reagan into the presidency, letting his revolution cut your taxes as you cruise toward retirement with the last of the pensions.

When the 2000'shiat, you put wind in the sails of Bush, The Tea Party, and Trump.  You can't help it that you were at the right place at the right time over and over, never having to make hard choices or sacrifices.   You deserve the American Dream.  Now, you just shrug while the kids blame it on your younger cousins and oldest kids, the boomers.  They were too young to have much say in Reagan, too young to reap the benefits of your great societal manipulation. Remember when you bought your cheap house in the 60s?  70's made it soar in value.  Boomers had to buy theirs at much higher prices and double digit interest in the 80's. Remember the lake house you bought in the 70's?  No such luck for the boomers In your family, but they'll try to use it whenever they can and call it "the family property" it. And the pensions... Somehow the boomers took the bait on 401Ks. Chumps.

The Silents are everything Millennials think the Boomers were.
 
2020-09-21 11:33:02 AM  
I like the sit your kid in front of the TV method of parenting.  Three generations strong in my family.
 
2020-09-21 11:47:18 AM  
I'm an early Millennial/Xennial, raised by Silents in a latchkey household.  I have the sensation of dull exhaustion mentioned in the article all the time.  I don't think it's because of how you're raised.  I think it's because we live in a broad information dense age and, unless you go Jeremiah Johnson, you're never going to disconnect from that and let your mind settle its thoughts and your body settle its malaise.  Couple that with a situation where adults are under constant economic anxiety, the feeling that the world is always at the brink of some catastrophe, etc and it's easy to see why people of this age group feel this way.  We're in the tail end of healthy adult years before age starts to kick in and we spend most of it worried about things rather than enjoying it if you're prudent, and, if you're not, you're worried about when that bill comes due on the boat, RV, etc.

Can parenting fark up your kids?  Definitely, but I don't think it has anything to do with general burnout past maybe the first few years after you move out and get out from under the overscheduled life hoisted upon you by a busybody parent.
 
2020-09-21 11:56:20 AM  
CSB:
My favorite experience as a millennial parent is being told by my boomer parents, in the middle of a distance learning pandemic, that I need limit their screen time.

biatch, The TV raised me more than you did.  And you were a stay at home mom for christ sakes.

/I do enjoy hearing that my older brother, who lives far away, uses that excuse ("We need to limit screen time") to hang up on their zoom calls with their granddaughter.
 
2020-09-21 11:57:27 AM  

pissnmoan: I'm a boomer.  My kids are all gen x.  A bunch of boomer offspring are gen x.  Some percentage of millineals are born of gen x.  Are statisticians or, more likely, clickbait article authors unable to make this distinction?  I'm guessing there isn't much difference between boomer and gen x parented millineals.


I sort of split boomers into two subcategories, went to Vietnam and too young for Vietnam.  The former didn't give birth to many millenials but the later gave birth to a ton of them.
 
2020-09-21 12:18:31 PM  

akya: biatch, The TV raised me more than you did.  And you were a stay at home mom for christ sakes.


How did that work, exactly? Really, just curious. What did she do all day?

I was raised by a single, working mother. So I was alone and raised myself with the TV when I was a kid after school and during summers. Because my mom was away and had a farking job.
 
2020-09-21 12:42:29 PM  

bostonguy: akya: biatch, The TV raised me more than you did.  And you were a stay at home mom for christ sakes.

How did that work, exactly? Really, just curious. What did she do all day?

I was raised by a single, working mother. So I was alone and raised myself with the TV when I was a kid after school and during summers. Because my mom was away and had a farking job.


Talked on the phone with friends and worked on her own hobbies (quilting, stained glass, exercise), mostly.

That said, she also made 98% of all the meals and did laundry.  There were very traditional gender roles.

If I wasn't watching TV/using the computer or playing video games, I was roaming the neighborhood, which is probably better for me, healthwise, but also makes her life easy.  My dad would get home and she'd complain about how hard she has it at home with my brothers and I.  And that he's "Lucky" he gets to work every day from 6am-6pm.

I think I'd face serious consequences, in this day and age, if I told my kids in the morning "Go outside, be home for dinner", or "Just watch tv all day, no problem!".  But that was a pretty typical non-school day for me, and my wife, for that matter.

I think it's fair to say this pandemic has been a really tough time to be a parent.  My parents "help" has been mostly limited to shaming and sending us parenting articles they googled for us.
 
2020-09-21 12:54:55 PM  
Petersen: In the '60s and '70s, the middle class was larger and more prosperous, and a lot of Boomers grew up with at least a modicum of financial and class stability.

No, no they weren't.

The middle class in the 1960s and 1970s easily had a lower standard of living than the middle class of today.

1. 60s/70s middle class: One car per family was typical, and said car was inferior to a modern car in every way (safety, fuel economy, pollution, creature comforts, reliability, acceleration, handling, top speed).

Modern middle class: One or more cars per adult, featuring a wide range of features, many of which weren't even invented in the 1960s.

2. Modern middle class: Pay TV on a 70 inch flat screen, internet, multiple computers per household, smartphones for everybody older than eight.

60s/70s middle class: None of those things were invented yet.  Televisions were 19 inch at most, and likely black and white during the 1960s.  Telephones were hard wired into the wall, one line per household.

3. 60s/70s middle class: Medical insurance costs might be lower.

Modern middle class: But you have a much higher chance of living if treated by a 21st century doctor.

4. 60s/70s middle class: 1,000-1,200 square foot house; children likely to have to share bedrooms and are almost guaranteed having to share a bathroom.

Modern middle class: 3,000+ square foot house; each child has their own bedroom and bathroom.

5. 60s/70s middle class: Vacation means a car trip a state or two away.

Modern middle class: Vacation means a plane trip to Hawaii.

Now, for the 60s/70s middle class, you better be white, Christian and straight to even apply.  No African Americans allowed in particular.

That is, the good old days weren't.
 
2020-09-21 1:19:19 PM  
 
Fark user imageView Full Size

♫ ♫ ♫ ♫
Blame your parents well,
Their rotten smell will slowly go by...
♫ ♫ ♫ ♫
 
2020-09-22 7:33:14 AM  

Geotpf: Petersen: In the '60s and '70s, the middle class was larger and more prosperous, and a lot of Boomers grew up with at least a modicum of financial and class stability.

No, no they weren't.

The middle class in the 1960s and 1970s easily had a lower standard of living than the middle class of today.

1. 60s/70s middle class: One car per family was typical, and said car was inferior to a modern car in every way (safety, fuel economy, pollution, creature comforts, reliability, acceleration, handling, top speed).

Modern middle class: One or more cars per adult, featuring a wide range of features, many of which weren't even invented in the 1960s.

2. Modern middle class: Pay TV on a 70 inch flat screen, internet, multiple computers per household, smartphones for everybody older than eight.

60s/70s middle class: None of those things were invented yet.  Televisions were 19 inch at most, and likely black and white during the 1960s.  Telephones were hard wired into the wall, one line per household.

3. 60s/70s middle class: Medical insurance costs might be lower.

Modern middle class: But you have a much higher chance of living if treated by a 21st century doctor.

4. 60s/70s middle class: 1,000-1,200 square foot house; children likely to have to share bedrooms and are almost guaranteed having to share a bathroom.

Modern middle class: 3,000+ square foot house; each child has their own bedroom and bathroom.

5. 60s/70s middle class: Vacation means a car trip a state or two away.

Modern middle class: Vacation means a plane trip to Hawaii.

Now, for the 60s/70s middle class, you better be white, Christian and straight to even apply.  No African Americans allowed in particular.

That is, the good old days weren't.



60/70s middle class: Existed.
 
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