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(CBS Sports)   Can the Giants squash the Bears? Will the Jags keep the momentum rolling against the Titans? Will the Ravens run over the Texans? All this and more for your NFL Week 2 thread, it begins at 1:00 PM ET   (cbssports.com) divider line
    More: Live, Trigraph, Jon Gruden, American football, 2008 Tampa Bay Buccaneers season, practice squad, American football positions, Game, Blitz  
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233 clicks; posted to Discussion » and Sports » on 20 Sep 2020 at 12:00 PM (9 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

 
2020-09-20 2:04:45 PM  
12 votes:

Galileo's Daughter: Yay, power's back on in Miami!


Bills twitter coming through with the missed highlights.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-09-20 1:14:49 PM  
11 votes:

Danger Avoid Death: Good morning, everybody. It's nice to take a mental break from the steaming shiatpile that is 2020 and escape into football with all of you.


em.wattpad.comView Full Size
 
2020-09-20 4:43:25 PM  
9 votes:
pbs.twimg.comView Full Size


WTF, Falcons?
 
2020-09-20 12:06:29 PM  
9 votes:
i.redd.itView Full Size
 
2020-09-20 7:43:56 PM  
8 votes:
Fark user imageView Full Size

NICE!
 
2020-09-20 4:09:16 PM  
8 votes:
Hmm..
Do I watch Chiefs at Chargers or...

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-09-20 3:35:33 PM  
8 votes:

headshot1485: Danger Avoid Death: puffy999: jaylectricity: Drop the taco

Is that the new Twerking dance/song?

[Fark user image 814x401] [View Full Size image _x_]

Videogame theme song.

Is Trump a Nazi or something?


I'd say he masturbates to Mein Kampf if I believed for one second that he's actually ever read a book.
 
2020-09-20 3:01:16 PM  
8 votes:
pbs.twimg.comView Full Size
 
2020-09-20 7:52:23 PM  
7 votes:
The game winner tied for the longest kick in SoFi Stadium history.
 
2020-09-20 7:10:36 PM  
7 votes:
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-09-20 6:07:01 PM  
7 votes:
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-09-20 3:17:17 PM  
6 votes:

Di Atribe: OH MY GOD AMARI COOPER WHAT A SNATCH!!!! 58 YARDS!


Jesus dude, phrasing!
 
2020-09-20 2:53:53 PM  
6 votes:

Nick el Ass: Cousins throws another pick despite our Hooker being hurt again.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-09-20 2:51:26 PM  
6 votes:

Your_Huckleberry: nvmac: Thanks Spectrum!   Been down for a half hour or so....

YEA, more points!

And GB just scored!

And Garoppolo is out!.. WAIT............SHIAT.

And they're still clobbering the Jets.
The Jets are really bad.


From Why Your Team Sucks this year:

HEAR IT FROM JETS FANS!

Mike:
I lost my dad on 9/11 and I'm not sure if that was even my worst experience with New York jets.
 
2020-09-20 1:36:18 PM  
6 votes:

picodenico: Wait. Adrian Peterson is still playing?

Sheesh.


What team did he switch to now ...

Oh, wait ... poor choice of words ...
 
2020-09-20 1:30:35 PM  
6 votes:

Di Atribe: Was the football dipped in olive oil before the game, Jesus


i.pinimg.comView Full Size


Hi, Di!
 
2020-09-20 1:26:53 PM  
6 votes:

picodenico: I hereby demand that I be given a Fark account: Trubisky actually throws a perfect pass

LIES!

LIES!

BURN THE HEATHEN


Why bother when we have a HeathenHealer among us.
 
151
2020-09-20 7:46:14 PM  
5 votes:

cameroncrazy1984: Someone ice that guy's leg


Chargers tried
 
2020-09-20 5:21:55 PM  
5 votes:
Cardinals up by an Atlanta Falcon
 
2020-09-20 4:25:55 PM  
5 votes:

Di Atribe: Danger Avoid Death: Just say butt, FFS. Stop being such f*cking prudes

EVERYONE HAS A BUTT


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-09-20 4:21:33 PM  
5 votes:
Stolen from Twitter... poor Niners
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-09-20 3:27:47 PM  
5 votes:

jaylectricity: Drop the taco


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-09-20 2:36:07 PM  
5 votes:

Danger Avoid Death: These lame-ass, overblown karaoke shows all need to dig a group grave and jump the f*ck in.


The first time I referred to The Masked Singer as "Funny Karaoke" my husband spit his beer out

I also then had to explain "furries" to my teenage son, so it wasn't a complete win.
 
2020-09-20 2:20:24 PM  
5 votes:

Earguy: Danger Avoid Death: Earguy: Danger Avoid Death: LOL. Canned Philly boos after every Rams big gain.

Yeah, is that getting piped into the stadium so it sounds something like a real crowd?

I've wondered the same thing. I think the announcers just said as much, but as usual I'm paying more attention to Fark than I am the chucklef*cks in the booth.

I always love it when I say something to Mrs. Earguy and moments later the announcers say the same thing. It makes me seem so smart!


And Mrs. Earguy is like ...

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-09-20 2:07:19 PM  
5 votes:

UNC_Samurai: Cousins gettin pounded in Indiana


This is a football thread.
 
2020-09-20 2:04:28 PM  
5 votes:

Incorrigible Astronaut: The Jest are so, so bad.


I'd say they have a Gase of the Mondays
 
2020-09-20 1:34:36 PM  
5 votes:

UNC_Samurai: ariseatex: picodenico: I hereby demand that I be given a Fark account: Trubisky actually throws a perfect pass

LIES!

LIES!

BURN THE HEATHEN

Why bother when we have a HeathenHealer among us.

To quote one of my store's old GURPS campaigns:  "Faith healing?  Well I'll be damned!"


amominredhighheels.comView Full Size


Behold the Power of Hooker Boots!
 
2020-09-20 1:31:45 PM  
5 votes:
Steelers converted on 4th and 88?

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-09-20 7:03:59 PM  
4 votes:
herbert finds a hole!

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-09-20 6:45:51 PM  
4 votes:

ZMugg: Someone slipped Hill the Crisco gloves.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-09-20 6:39:02 PM  
4 votes:

leehouse: Chargers pass rush is kinda terrifying


I've shiat myself 3 times so far.

I stopped changing shorts after the first time.

I might have a rash.
 
2020-09-20 6:24:11 PM  
4 votes:

ariseatex: "just over him, just inside of him"


There's a great clip of John Madden on MNF I'll look for, where on a runnning play, he goes, "left to right, you got the "A" hole, the "B" hole, and the "C" hole, and there, he went right up the "A" hole"....

and you hear Al Michaels laugh.


great moment on a Snakes telecast right when MLB started up this year. Steve Berthiuame (former ESPN, now the Snakes host) says to Bob Brenly, "so, Bob, the quarantine, what were you doing in the down time?"  Brenly goes, "welp, broke out my acoustic guitar, worked on a bunch of songs, played a lot."

"Oh really?  What's your current song you like to play?"

Brenly goes, "it's a kinda obscure Janis Joplin song, never a big hit but i love it, called 'Down On Me'.   Oh brother!"

you hear Berthiaume laugh and the mics cut out (someone hit the dump button of course).

a legit 10 seconds later:  "2-2 to batter, that looked like a cut fastball, just missed the black."
 
2020-09-20 6:14:24 PM  
4 votes:

EnormousGreenRageMonster: Damn, great job by Dobbins keeping on his feet through that tackle. Kid's got promise.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
151
2020-09-20 6:06:59 PM  
4 votes:
Audible as kelce breaks the tackle: "GET OFF ME"

I laughed
 
2020-09-20 5:57:47 PM  
4 votes:
"Great package on Lamar Jackson"

Jesus, Cowher, phrasing!
 
2020-09-20 4:49:26 PM  
4 votes:

davidphogan: desertgeek: [pbs.twimg.com image 850x353]

WTF, Falcons?

I missed that game entirely, anyone have a quick summary?  Preferably in meme form?


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-09-20 4:48:31 PM  
4 votes:

davidphogan: desertgeek: [pbs.twimg.com image 850x353]

WTF, Falcons?

I missed that game entirely, anyone have a quick summary?  Preferably in meme form?


28-3
 
2020-09-20 2:56:17 PM  
4 votes:

cfreak: I guess the only consolation in the cowboys being so bad is whole division is a complete dumpster fire. Mabye I should start rooting for "Football Team" for the right to get destroyed in the playoffs.


Will you be drinking this?:
res.cloudinary.comView Full Size
 
2020-09-20 2:29:59 PM  
4 votes:

Galileo's Daughter: Trying to tackle a wet Josh Allen is difficult.


i.makeagif.comView Full Size
 
2020-09-20 2:17:31 PM  
4 votes:
Maybe it's best Atlanta not have a big lead with 28 points.
 
2020-09-20 2:12:15 PM  
4 votes:

Hillbilly Jim: HeathenHealer: UNC_Samurai: Cousins gettin pounded in Indiana

We're watching football, not pronhub

Some of us are multitasking


Username checks out.

Ooh, blindside block penalty on BUF.
 
2020-09-20 1:35:24 PM  
4 votes:

picodenico: Wait. Adrian Peterson is still playing?

Sheesh.


Probably a good thing. He doesn't need to spend any more time around his kids.
 
2020-09-20 1:26:08 PM  
4 votes:

I hereby demand that I be given a Fark account: Trubisky actually throws a perfect pass


LIES!

LIES!

BURN THE HEATHEN
 
2020-09-20 12:31:06 PM  
4 votes:

NewportBarGuy: I don't even know why they allow the Jets to play anymore.


Because sometimes the Browns and Lions win and we have to have somebody to point and laugh at
 
2020-09-20 7:40:47 PM  
3 votes:

libranoelrose: I CAN'T SWALLOW


Than spit
 
2020-09-20 7:20:54 PM  
3 votes:
So if Matt Ryan is Matty Ice does that mean that Patrick Mahomes is Patty Melt?
 
2020-09-20 7:09:27 PM  
3 votes:

libranoelrose: jaylectricity: jaylectricity: Really needed a touchdown there. The score will be 24-7 with about a minute and a half to go.

24-21 I mean.

That's a hell of a typo


He was hit with the seldom seen *divide by 3* autocorrect.
 
2020-09-20 7:04:45 PM  
3 votes:

phimuskapsi: This kid is pretty damn good. No way Tyrod comes back.


agcoauto.comView Full Size

Yup, he's done.
 
2020-09-20 6:51:43 PM  
3 votes:
LOL wow

HARDMAN COMES IN THE ENDZONE
 
2020-09-20 6:43:51 PM  
3 votes:
RedZone should just use the injury music to "Tecmo Super Bowl" when they're talking about all of the guys that got hurt today - it's basically the same thing.
 
2020-09-20 6:42:07 PM  
3 votes:
Fark user imageView Full Size


Ouch Jets.
 
2020-09-20 6:23:28 PM  
3 votes:

Social Justice Warlock: Danger Avoid Death: Social Justice Warlock: Kyle Butler: [Fark user image image 652x500]

Sports commentators everywhere having little orgasmes at the talking points

There's no "me" in orgasm.

Wait ... that really came out wrong.

And so did that.  I should probably just shut up now.

My autocorrect has got to manage both English *and* French... and en français, there in fact is "me" in orgasmes (prononce it "or gas meh" not "me")


Now I want to learn to orgasm in French.
 
2020-09-20 6:15:56 PM  
3 votes:

Social Justice Warlock: Kyle Butler: [Fark user image image 652x500]

Sports commentators everywhere having little orgasmes at the talking points


There's no "me" in orgasm.

Wait ... that really came out wrong.

And so did that.  I should probably just shut up now.
 
2020-09-20 4:53:28 PM  
3 votes:

Hillbilly Jim: rickythepenguin: Gamebreak just shwed the end of DAL/ATL.

Oooof.  Dan Quinn doesnt' make it past week 8.  Week 10 is the Bye week, ssssssoo......if 0-2 ATL doesn't right the ship quickly, he won't last the season.

I'm stunned he made it to this season really.


Maybe ATL could get Jason Garrett from the Giants.
 
2020-09-20 4:33:21 PM  
3 votes:

puffy999: Hillbilly Jim: Atlanta special teams coach needs to be fired now.

So do the players


It'll be a long ride on the short bus back to ATL.
 
2020-09-20 4:12:01 PM  
3 votes:

Di Atribe: EvilToni: On one hand, after a decade of "play it safe and clap it out" I like the Cowboys' more aggressive play calling, but there are some issues with execution that the offence needs to figure out.

On the other hand, the defense is straight trash and it looks like the only way Dallas is going to win football games is to play Big 12 football: Score at least 50 points because the other team is going to score at least 40.

This is my attitude, too. I'm not ready to be mad at McCarthy just yet. Because he still ain't Garrett.


It's like being mad at Danny White for not being Roger Staubach. Oh gods I'm showing my age, haha.
 
2020-09-20 3:36:30 PM  
3 votes:

Adolf Oliver Nipples: That's a wild ass catch.


cdn1.thecomeback.comView Full Size
 
2020-09-20 3:08:50 PM  
3 votes:
"Tenet is now the #1 movie in the world!"

So, like 1,000 people have seen it?
 
2020-09-20 2:57:45 PM  
3 votes:

eddievercetti: Got Pizza Hut, what I miss?


Getting real pizza?

/ducks
 
2020-09-20 2:41:32 PM  
3 votes:
"Spectrum Mobile is the fastest growing provider out there."

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-09-20 2:38:46 PM  
3 votes:

EvilToni: The first time I referred to The Masked Singer as "Funny Karaoke" my husband spit his beer out

I also then had to explain "furries" to my teenage son, so it wasn't a complete win


Explain

Just show him this:
media1.tenor.comView Full Size
 
2020-09-20 2:32:46 PM  
3 votes:
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-09-20 2:15:49 PM  
3 votes:

germ78: Trubisky actually made a play in the passing game resulting in a TD? WTF am I watching?!?


The Giants.
 
2020-09-20 2:10:34 PM  
3 votes:

HeathenHealer: UNC_Samurai: Cousins gettin pounded in Indiana

We're watching football, not pronhub


Some of us are multitasking
 
2020-09-20 2:10:30 PM  
3 votes:

geom_00: UNC_Samurai: Cousins gettin pounded in Indiana

High...Phrasing


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-09-20 2:07:08 PM  
3 votes:

UNC_Samurai: Cousins gettin pounded in Indiana


This is news?
 
2020-09-20 2:00:05 PM  
3 votes:

Incorrigible Astronaut: Adolf Oliver Nipples: Danger Avoid Death: Rams up 21-3. I think it might be a long day for Philly. Probably a long season.

From your lips to God's ears.

That Super Bowl window closed mighty, mighty quick.


Not quick enough. They won one.
 
2020-09-20 1:45:09 PM  
3 votes:
Now pictured the NFC East
thumbs.gfycat.comView Full Size
 
2020-09-20 1:31:30 PM  
3 votes:

mikaloyd: Niners falling like flies


We're down to thirty niners?
 
2020-09-20 1:29:19 PM  
3 votes:

picodenico: I hereby demand that I be given a Fark account: Trubisky actually throws a perfect pass

LIES!

LIES!

BURN THE HEATHEN


Whoa whoa. Slow down
 
2020-09-20 1:24:48 PM  
3 votes:
Drew Lock headed for the Him-er room

/Locker room... Get it?
// I know... That was bad and I should feel bad
 
2020-09-20 1:13:42 PM  
3 votes:

Aezetyr: Di Atribe: ariseatex: ariseatex: TD LOINS!

lol he did a Lambeau Leap, hi-fiving imaginary fans.

I need video of this....

Seconded


https://twitter.com/i/status/13077290​1​6393101312
 
2020-09-20 1:13:28 PM  
3 votes:

Galileo's Daughter: eddievercetti: Galileo's Daughter: So, it's been banned, but I'm watching a commercial for Tik Tok.  Amusing.

Oh no, Oracle and WalMart are buying the US app...both are also donors of You Know Who

So, instead of stupid teenage girl dance videos, we'll have stupid I'M ERIC videos?


But you repeat yourself.
 
2020-09-20 7:50:05 PM  
2 votes:
RedZone had to resort to a fan-filmed video of a Dolphins TD to keep with their promise to show "every TD from every game."
 
2020-09-20 7:44:50 PM  
2 votes:

7th Son of a 7th Son: CHIEFS WIN!!!! WIFE GOOD!


She CAN swallow!
 
2020-09-20 7:44:43 PM  
2 votes:
HARRISON BUTKER HAD 3 FARKS TO GIVE AND HE HAS NO MORE!
 
2020-09-20 7:39:19 PM  
2 votes:

libranoelrose: I need my heart medicine


Here you go.

hhp-blog.s3.amazonaws.comView Full Size


The little fuzzy heart means it's the right medicine for you.
 
2020-09-20 7:38:51 PM  
2 votes:

libranoelrose: I need my heart medicine


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-09-20 7:28:49 PM  
2 votes:

libranoelrose: Chiefs getting STIFF on D


Bite the pillow, KC's going in dry
 
2020-09-20 7:23:15 PM  
2 votes:

kkinnison: FriarReb98: I'll never understand why people still do wings when chicken tenders exist. You're just wasting time and energy cooking and working around bone, skin and gristle.

You must not know there is a difference betwean white and dark meats.

Enjoy your lean flavorless tenders


He's a New Englander. 
Ignore all posts about food from these types of people.
 
2020-09-20 7:00:37 PM  
2 votes:

phimuskapsi: This kid is pretty damn good. No way Tyrod comes back.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-09-20 6:21:40 PM  
2 votes:
Okay, how many of you had the Chargers to win this game? Because the Pick-'em has 97% picking the Chiefs, so I'm guessing no one here.

Unless our thread is being graced by a wizard, in which case it would be nice to know who you are so I don't piss you off sometime down the road.
 
2020-09-20 6:20:18 PM  
2 votes:
Man too bad the Texans don't have a stud wide receiver to help Watson out.
 
2020-09-20 6:18:37 PM  
2 votes:

ariseatex: "just over him, just inside of him"

[media.tenor.com image 220x220] [View Full Size image _x_]


Just the tip
 
2020-09-20 6:18:00 PM  
2 votes:
"just over him, just inside of him"

media.tenor.comView Full Size
 
2020-09-20 6:01:18 PM  
2 votes:

EnormousGreenRageMonster: "Great package on Lamar Jackson"

Jesus, Cowher, phrasing!


ha!

i was working earlier away from this thread, and I forget if it was the Cards game or the halftime, but i heard one of the announcers say something like, "he's gonna come all over you all day."

I  was like, "did........he.....juuuuuuuustt.......​saaayyy what I think he did?"
 
2020-09-20 5:39:30 PM  
2 votes:
Oh that's nice. There's football happening but RedZone has to talk about the Cowboys.
 
2020-09-20 5:35:17 PM  
2 votes:
26-7 At that moment I decided it was time to water change my fish tanks. Come back an hour later and it was like the Super Bowl all over again. The best part was I wasn't even surprised.
 
2020-09-20 5:34:20 PM  
2 votes:

milkandcheese: [Fark user image image 319x285]


Rolf Benirschke wants his helmet back
 
2020-09-20 5:32:21 PM  
2 votes:
Herbert Herbert Herbert!

64.media.tumblr.comView Full Size
 
2020-09-20 5:24:48 PM  
2 votes:

libranoelrose: Damn SD Quarterback knocked our tackler into next week.


Herbert was trucking?

thumbs.gfycat.comView Full Size
 
2020-09-20 5:07:13 PM  
2 votes:
FanDuel: Getting tackled by James Harrison is what losing all your money to gambling pros armed with a suite of bots feels like.
 
2020-09-20 5:01:17 PM  
2 votes:
Tell me more about Andy Reid's defogger, NFL RedZone
 
2020-09-20 4:48:02 PM  
2 votes:
OK, gotta bug out, see you guys for SNF maybe, I mean the Emmys are on

WOOHOO GO COWBOYS
 
2020-09-20 4:47:48 PM  
2 votes:

puffy999: He knows not only when to go down, but HOW to go down.


media.tenor.comView Full Size
 
2020-09-20 4:36:02 PM  
2 votes:
Atlanta was up 15 with 4:45 to go

And now they lose
 
2020-09-20 4:23:22 PM  
2 votes:

puffy999: Nice defense, Football Team.


You may have to break out the hard stuff:
th.bing.comView Full Size
 
2020-09-20 4:17:13 PM  
2 votes:

OkieDookie: The last time a Bronco got best that bad, Mr. Hands died.


Enumclaw is tired of these jokes! Stop horsing around!
 
2020-09-20 4:16:15 PM  
2 votes:

7th Son of a 7th Son: Di Atribe: EvilToni: On one hand, after a decade of "play it safe and clap it out" I like the Cowboys' more aggressive play calling, but there are some issues with execution that the offence needs to figure out.

On the other hand, the defense is straight trash and it looks like the only way Dallas is going to win football games is to play Big 12 football: Score at least 50 points because the other team is going to score at least 40.

This is my attitude, too. I'm not ready to be mad at McCarthy just yet. Because he still ain't Garrett.

It's like being mad at Danny White for not being Roger Staubach. Oh gods I'm showing my age, haha.


Yeah, I feel the same way for being so old I understood that reference.
 
2020-09-20 3:45:00 PM  
2 votes:
Well that is exactly how the Bears drew up that 4th and 1 play
 
2020-09-20 3:41:51 PM  
2 votes:
Judging by how Montgomery is running, this must be El Alamein.
 
2020-09-20 3:41:45 PM  
2 votes:

I hereby demand that I be given a Fark account: headshot1485: Danger Avoid Death: headshot1485: Danger Avoid Death: puffy999: jaylectricity: Drop the taco

Is that the new Twerking dance/song?

[Fark user image 814x401] [View Full Size image _x_]

Videogame theme song.

Is Trump a Nazi or something?

I'd say he masturbates to Mein Kampf if I believed for one second that he's actually ever read a book.

Hillbilly Jim: headshot1485: Danger Avoid Death: puffy999: jaylectricity: Drop the taco

Is that the new Twerking dance/song?

[Fark user image 814x401] [View Full Size image _x_]

Videogame theme song.

Is Trump a Nazi or something?

Yes

I don't think you know what Nazis are.

You're wrong. They know exactly what Nazis are, and that's why they are using the word.


lol ok, I'm not a Trump supporter but stop throwing Nazi around like he'shiatler.
 
2020-09-20 3:41:41 PM  
2 votes:
"They're just running it down their throat right now"

media.tenor.comView Full Size
 
2020-09-20 3:36:53 PM  
2 votes:

Danger Avoid Death: headshot1485: Danger Avoid Death: puffy999: jaylectricity: Drop the taco

Is that the new Twerking dance/song?

[Fark user image 814x401] [View Full Size image _x_]

Videogame theme song.

Is Trump a Nazi or something?

I'd say he masturbates to Mein Kampf if I believed for one second that he's actually ever read a book.


There may be a pop-up picture book available of this, but I'm not gonna search for it.
 
2020-09-20 3:33:01 PM  
2 votes:

Danger Avoid Death: EnormousGreenRageMonster: And just seeing on ESPN's site that Dan Snyder and his wife are in COVID quarantine after a friend exposed them... couldn't happen to a nicer dickbag.

Please tell me he plans to meet with the President and plant a big, sloppy wet kiss on him ..


That is a mage I didn't need in my mind.
 
2020-09-20 3:30:28 PM  
2 votes:

EnormousGreenRageMonster: And just seeing on ESPN's site that Dan Snyder and his wife are in COVID quarantine after a friend exposed them... couldn't happen to a nicer dickbag.


Please tell me he plans to meet with the President and plant a big, sloppy wet kiss on him ..
 
2020-09-20 3:27:50 PM  
2 votes:

EnormousGreenRageMonster: And just seeing on ESPN's site that Dan Snyder and his wife are in COVID quarantine after a friend exposed them... couldn't happen to a nicer dickbag.


media1.tenor.comView Full Size
 
2020-09-20 3:26:52 PM  
2 votes:

puffy999: jaylectricity: Drop the taco

Is that the new Twerking dance/song?


Fark user imageView Full Size


Videogame theme song.
 
2020-09-20 3:19:48 PM  
2 votes:

Incorrigible Astronaut: Di Atribe: leehouse: So... Cousins is having a really bad day

But like..... Jake Delhomme Bad Day?

6/20, 59 yards, 2 sacks, 3 INTs, and a 0.0 QB rating.

You read that right.


That's gonna be a YIKES from me, dog
 
2020-09-20 3:19:09 PM  
2 votes:

ZMugg: EnormousGreenRageMonster: Di Atribe: OH MY GOD AMARI COOPER WHAT A SNATCH!!!! 58 YARDS!

Jesus dude, phrasing!

Dude?


Sweet
 
2020-09-20 3:19:07 PM  
2 votes:

Di Atribe: fark. Dak in the tent. Andy Dalton in.


So that's where he ended up. Um, good luck with that.
 
2020-09-20 3:03:18 PM  
2 votes:

Incorrigible Astronaut: Kirk Cousins is currently 6/19 for 59 yards, one sack, 3 INTs, and a 1.8 rating.


Colts radio guy said that Cousins 1.8 was also someone on the crews gpa in college before saying no that was mine.
 
2020-09-20 3:02:38 PM  
2 votes:

Danger Avoid Death: picodenico: OK, there are yellow things on the field in GB, and they've been there all games. Not flags.

WTF?

Cheese.


media.tenor.comView Full Size
 
2020-09-20 2:52:27 PM  
2 votes:
I guess the only consolation in the cowboys being so bad is whole division is a complete dumpster fire. Mabye I should start rooting for "Football Team" for the right to get destroyed in the playoffs.
 
2020-09-20 2:28:03 PM  
2 votes:
preview.redd.itView Full Size
 
2020-09-20 2:16:12 PM  
2 votes:
Jeez dallas sucks smegma.
 
2020-09-20 2:15:30 PM  
2 votes:

germ78: Trubisky actually made a play in the passing game resulting in a TD? WTF am I watching?!?


A Giants game.
 
2020-09-20 2:14:46 PM  
2 votes:

abhorrent1: I hereby demand that I be given a Fark account: Interesting plan by Chicago. Throw all the passes straight forward, just change which receiver is in the middle.

It short circuits Mitch's brain if you ask him to look in more than one place.


That's not true, he can look at two titties at once
 
2020-09-20 2:08:46 PM  
2 votes:

UNC_Samurai: Cousins gettin pounded in Indiana


It's legal there
 
2020-09-20 2:08:28 PM  
2 votes:

UNC_Samurai: Cousins gettin pounded in Indiana


So, like any normal Sunday in Indiana, then?
 
2020-09-20 2:07:24 PM  
2 votes:

HeathenHealer: And the Vikings give up another safety. Two farking weeks in a row


media1.tenor.comView Full Size
 
2020-09-20 1:55:53 PM  
2 votes:

puffy999: Matt Ryan is so slow


Peyton Manning always looked like a newborn giraffe when he took off running.
 
2020-09-20 1:54:10 PM  
2 votes:

Galileo's Daughter: "Looks straight enough, and it's long enough."

That's what she said.


And they lived happily everafter.
 
2020-09-20 1:42:58 PM  
2 votes:
If Philly had fans right now

media2.giphy.comView Full Size
 
2020-09-20 1:30:26 PM  
2 votes:
Bucs defense forces a turnover and short field

NFL Red zone: "TOM BRADY TOOK THEM DOWN THE FIELD!"
 
2020-09-20 1:30:03 PM  
2 votes:

Marbleisheavy: What the actual fick is happening in Dallas.  Is


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-09-20 1:28:51 PM  
2 votes:
Wow. New commercials. I'm used to the 11 we have in the hockey playoffs.
 
2020-09-20 1:26:54 PM  
2 votes:
We've secretly replaced the football with a greased turkey, let's see if anyone notices.
 
2020-09-20 1:20:11 PM  
2 votes:

Aezetyr: Leader O'Cola: Aezetyr: Likely missing the rest of the afternoon games, getting into a plane to fly back to Beantown.

fark getting ON the plane, I'm getting IN the plane. (Paraphrased from the Carlin)

Why do they call it a near miss?

Its a near HIT!!


There's a superstition amongst Warhammer 40K players to never say "missiles" because it has the word "miss" in them.
 
2020-09-20 1:18:32 PM  
2 votes:

Aezetyr: Likely missing the rest of the afternoon games, getting into a plane to fly back to Beantown.

fark getting ON the plane, I'm getting IN the plane. (Paraphrased from the Carlin)


Why do they call it a near miss?
 
2020-09-20 1:15:10 PM  
2 votes:

Adolf Oliver Nipples: 3 and out is what happens when you open with cutesy nonsense.


They do what they do. Omar fellator
 
2020-09-20 1:08:37 PM  
2 votes:
Roughing the Cousin. No, not in Mississippi
 
2020-09-20 12:08:39 PM  
2 votes:
*Checks NFL maps to see which games I get to view today*

Cries
 
2020-09-20 12:07:21 PM  
2 votes:
I enjoy train-wreck television, so Wingfoot is actually gonna get my main screen ahead of the football today. Oddly, the announcers keep referring to a Zalatoris on the leaderboard, but I can't seem to find it.
 
2020-09-20 7:47:10 PM  
1 vote:
Called it
 
2020-09-20 7:45:39 PM  
1 vote:
Someone ice that guy's leg
 
2020-09-20 7:42:16 PM  
1 vote:

puffy999: Danger Avoid Death: Daedalus27: puffy999: And the crowd noise gets weird


Chargers are just happy to have a home game where the crowd isn't actively against them at all times.  Who knows they may not have the crowd back even when Covid restrictions are removed

Spanos should have left the team in San Diego. His greed brought the Chargers to a town that didn't ask for them.

I still think the best solution would have been to send the Raiders back to LA and the Chargers to Vegas.


I've rationalized the covid pandemic by believing that it was caused by the collective will of all right minded people to spite Kroenke.
 
2020-09-20 7:40:21 PM  
1 vote:
I CAN'T SWALLOW
 
2020-09-20 7:35:33 PM  
1 vote:

puffy999: And the crowd noise gets weird



Chargers are just happy to have a home game where the crowd isn't actively against them at all times.  Who knows they may not have the crowd back even when Covid restrictions are removed
 
2020-09-20 7:34:52 PM  
1 vote:
Gonna end in a tie.
 
2020-09-20 7:34:35 PM  
1 vote:
And the crowd noise gets weird
 
2020-09-20 7:33:57 PM  
1 vote:
the official gif of any time a team jumps offsides:

64.media.tumblr.comView Full Size
 
2020-09-20 7:31:58 PM  
1 vote:

cameroncrazy1984: FriarReb98: jaylectricity: I agree with Romo.

Comment #2020, there it is!

A decidedly un-2020 comment because it's not weird or terrible.


I want to funny this. But I won't, because I don't want to break a leg as I go to bed later tonight.
 
2020-09-20 7:31:33 PM  
1 vote:

jaylectricity: puffy999: Double gredunza

2008, right?


Hey yeah!

I GOT THE DOUBLE TODAY! Both gredunzas are MINE.
 
2020-09-20 7:29:04 PM  
1 vote:

libranoelrose: Chiefs getting STIFF on D


Pretty sure Hardman is on O only...
 
2020-09-20 7:28:32 PM  
1 vote:
Be manly men! GO FOR IT!
 
2020-09-20 7:27:18 PM  
1 vote:
The 2020th poster is hereby cursed to live in the year 2020.
 
2020-09-20 7:26:09 PM  
1 vote:
Dropping in because I heard that there was bunnies football

I was trying to say bonus football, but my swiping keyboard misinterpreted it, and I don't want to correct it.
 
2020-09-20 7:24:50 PM  
1 vote:

FriarReb98: I prefer white to dark


Dude.  Not cool.

/cmon, it was right there, I couldn't resist
 
2020-09-20 7:20:50 PM  
1 vote:
Mahomes interception here
 
2020-09-20 7:12:23 PM  
1 vote:

phimuskapsi: [Fark user image image 479x482]


NO NEED TO PILE ON, ESPN
 
2020-09-20 7:07:25 PM  
1 vote:

rbuzby: Seeing the Cowboys lose is like finding 20 bucks on the ground. Seeing them win, and Jerry celebrating today?  It's like giving a guy $100 bucks to score blow for you, and he says wait here, and goes around the corner, then you realize he's never coming back.

Not sure what's up with the Hey Koolaids, but Chargers fans must be feeling optimistic.

[Fark user image 850x566]


I was happy for the Cowboys, until I saw all the fans in the stands, not wearing masks, all clusterf*cked together. Sorry, Di, but f*ck the Cowboys and their idiot f*cking owner.
 
2020-09-20 7:03:53 PM  
1 vote:

jaylectricity: Must be something about the Chiefs wanting to kill QBs knees.


You still biatching about Pollard from a decade ago? lol
 
2020-09-20 6:56:36 PM  
1 vote:

rickythepenguin: Clock starting to become an issue for WFT.  7 and change down 27-9.


Starting to?
 
2020-09-20 6:52:14 PM  
1 vote:
2pt conversion is good, Chefs tie the game!

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-09-20 6:48:12 PM  
1 vote:
Catch and a commando roll for the TD!

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-09-20 6:47:23 PM  
1 vote:

phimuskapsi: [Fark user image image 549x129]

Ouch Jets.


He's gotta keep eyes on those stats.
 
2020-09-20 6:39:12 PM  
1 vote:
"Are the long ball accuracy questions done now?"
"I'm asking you!"

https://twitter.com/i/status/13077933​4​9689180160
 
2020-09-20 6:39:02 PM  
1 vote:
every time they air that stupid MCD commercial "because otherwise your fries will become their fries", I just think of Aqua Teen Hunger Force: "Your jambox has become our jambox by way of our actions."
 
2020-09-20 6:36:37 PM  
1 vote:

ariseatex: rickythepenguin: Murray with a sick TD run.  25 yards through traffic.  snapping ankles left and right.

PAT is good.

27-3, Q4, 14:17, kicking to WFT in a mnute.

What is going on?  I'm actually starting to feel...hopeful.  Someone bring me down, I'm not used to this.


Plus at this rate the 49ers won't exist in a few weeks
 
2020-09-20 6:36:34 PM  
1 vote:
DUNECEPTION!
 
2020-09-20 6:35:57 PM  
1 vote:

rickythepenguin: Murray with a sick TD run.  25 yards through traffic.  snapping ankles left and right.

PAT is good.

27-3, Q4, 14:17, kicking to WFT in a mnute.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-09-20 6:34:57 PM  
1 vote:

Danger Avoid Death: The Mandalorian rocks. Makes me wonder how the most recent Star Wars movies would have turned out with Jon Favreau at the helm instead of Captain Lensflare.


Good?
 
2020-09-20 6:33:56 PM  
1 vote:

Danger Avoid Death: Nice kick, Butker. Still, too bad about the name.


i.imgur.comView Full Size
 
2020-09-20 6:30:31 PM  
1 vote:
Nice kick, Butker. Still, too bad about the name.
 
2020-09-20 6:21:24 PM  
1 vote:

Hillbilly Jim: Man too bad the Texans don't have a stud wide receiver to help Watson out.


Kyler's favorite person in football is Bill O'Brien
 
2020-09-20 6:15:40 PM  
1 vote:
I like how the fake crowd in AZ doesn't seem to know which team it's rooting for.
 
2020-09-20 6:13:22 PM  
1 vote:
Fark user imageView Full Size


Kyle Butler:
[Fark user image 652x500]

Also can't understand why they didn't jump on the ball.
 
151
2020-09-20 6:07:57 PM  
1 vote:

libranoelrose: Kelce "GET OFF ME!"


Damn too many words!
 
2020-09-20 6:02:48 PM  
1 vote:
The CBS announcers look like they're all seated at the world's loneliest nightclub.

They need candles on each of the tables and sad, half-finished drinks sitting on soggy cocktail napkins.
 
2020-09-20 5:34:15 PM  
1 vote:

GypsyJoker: Herbert Herbert Herbert!

[64.media.tumblr.com image 500x360] [View Full Size image _x_]


*shakes tiny Vulcan fist*
 
2020-09-20 5:33:23 PM  
1 vote:

GypsyJoker: Herbert Herbert Herbert!

[64.media.tumblr.com image 500x360]


The original Manning brother, you could launch a shuttlecraft off that forehead.
 
2020-09-20 5:31:36 PM  
1 vote:
Dune made a nice throw.
 
2020-09-20 5:14:57 PM  
1 vote:

I hereby demand that I be given a Fark account: Did we really need the pre-recorded screaming woman?


All part of the NFL experience
 
2020-09-20 5:10:16 PM  
1 vote:

Hillbilly Jim: puffy999: rickythepenguin: puffy999: Tiki Barber? What did Fumbles himself have to say?

basically, Bakrley isn't a 3 down back because he's scared to block.  actual quote was something like, "for a man of his size that loves contact, it's a mystery why he won't pass block.  he can't be on the field on 3rd and long because for some reason, he's scared to block."

Oh. Hmm.

I mean, that's kinda like saying that McCaffrey doesn't do enough. Barkley had a hell of a load on his shoulders given what that team has around him.

Penn St running backs man. Hasn't been a good one since Curt Warner.


Oh great now I have the ads in my head...

/he had car dealerships in Washington state
 
2020-09-20 5:00:24 PM  
1 vote:
How many steps is Mahomes dropping back? I counted, like 27 or something.
 
2020-09-20 4:59:05 PM  
1 vote:

puffy999: Mahomes sammich


Tastes like mortadella? With ketchup?
 
2020-09-20 4:58:48 PM  
1 vote:

desertgeek: [pbs.twimg.com image 850x353]

WTF, Falcons?


28-3.
 
2020-09-20 4:57:57 PM  
1 vote:
"Inspired by a true story"

really means:

"We took something real and put in a bunch of crap we pulled out of our asses."

Kind of like the Hobbit movies.

Oh, wait ...
 
2020-09-20 4:54:09 PM  
1 vote:

Social Justice Warlock: davidphogan: desertgeek: [pbs.twimg.com image 850x353]

WTF, Falcons?

I missed that game entirely, anyone have a quick summary?  Preferably in meme form?

[Fark user image 425x566]


Yours was meme form, so I'll give you the tiebreaker.  It's like Jeopardy.
 
2020-09-20 4:50:07 PM  
1 vote:

libranoelrose: Who the fark was that to?

OK, second quarter is when Mahomes shines.


You know the drill Get behind by double digits in the 1st 3 quarters then kick some ass Its the chefs way
 
2020-09-20 4:46:37 PM  
1 vote:

Incorrigible Astronaut: Dammit, Bills. YOU HAD THE OVER IN YOUR HANDS


Hooves.
 
2020-09-20 4:41:06 PM  
1 vote:
Dammit, Bills. YOU HAD THE OVER IN YOUR HANDS
 
2020-09-20 4:39:22 PM  
1 vote:
Like, I hate the Cowboys and fark McCarthy for ruining the Packers, but I ain't even mad. It is the Falcons. They deserve it.

El oh el.
 
2020-09-20 4:35:55 PM  
1 vote:

puffy999: Kill yourselves, Atlanta


Apparently they did exactly that.
 
2020-09-20 4:35:46 PM  
1 vote:
Oh no, Falcons lost!


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-09-20 4:35:42 PM  
1 vote:
Somewhere, Jason Garrett is clapping.
 
2020-09-20 4:35:28 PM  
1 vote:
Kill yourselves, Atlanta
 
2020-09-20 4:26:59 PM  
1 vote:

Di Atribe: Danger Avoid Death: Just say butt, FFS. Stop being such f*cking prudes

EVERYONE HAS A BUTT


🎶 Doin' the butt... 🎶

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yeknc​N​ouZZA

/ old school
 
2020-09-20 4:24:44 PM  
1 vote:

Di Atribe: Nice shot of a AT&T Stadium $9 Miller Lite there


I would gladly pay someone else the $9 to drink that Miller Lite instead of me.
 
2020-09-20 4:21:47 PM  
1 vote:
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-09-20 4:19:24 PM  
1 vote:
Nice defense, Football Team.
 
2020-09-20 4:17:39 PM  
1 vote:

Hillbilly Jim: What about being mad at Danny White for calling the audible on 4th and 1 when all he was supposed to do was try and draw the Redacteds offsides?


Could have been worse. They could have ended up with Clint Longley.

Also old.
 
2020-09-20 4:15:54 PM  
1 vote:
Driskel with the observational skill of Stevie Wonder
 
2020-09-20 4:15:40 PM  
1 vote:
The last time a Bronco got best that bad, Mr. Hands died.
 
2020-09-20 4:14:27 PM  
1 vote:
Ponies probably should have handed off on 3rd instead of that ... whatever it was play
 
2020-09-20 4:14:16 PM  
1 vote:

ariseatex: "Kyler got scoots"

I sure hope not, RedZone Guy.


Murray has trots!
He runs all over the defense.
 
2020-09-20 4:12:58 PM  
1 vote:
"Kyler got scoots"

I sure hope not, RedZone Guy.
 
2020-09-20 4:08:30 PM  
1 vote:

Bunny Deville: ariseatex: Bunny Deville: Well, at least my boys played a good game and didn't embarrass themselves too badly. Things could be worse.

Like my husband wanting a divorce and to take the kids to Canada. That kind of worse.

?!?!?

Yeah. And I have to let them go with him, because one is transgender and it's better for them both to get out of the US right now.

So, a little despondent this week.


Fark user imageView Full Size


#HugsforBunny
 
2020-09-20 4:02:06 PM  
1 vote:
Pittsburgh... could lose to Jeff Driskel and the Donkeys.

Standby on the defibrillator.
 
2020-09-20 3:58:37 PM  
1 vote:

Bunny Deville: What's going on in the Jags game? Are we getting bonus football?


Jags have 1:36 to come back, down 3. No timeouts.

memegenerator.netView Full Size
 
2020-09-20 3:53:40 PM  
1 vote:

ariseatex: ZMugg: Hillbilly Jim: Hell even Meow Said the Dog.

I had him herFarkied as "Borat 2.0"

Miss him hertoo.

Wasn't Meow Said the Dog female?  Or at least the person behind that alt account?


I think that's right.

I miss bevets and tatsuma. NOBODY could shiat up a thread like those guys.
 
2020-09-20 3:52:54 PM  
1 vote:
Mike McCarthy's press conference is gonna be a special one
 
2020-09-20 3:50:41 PM  
1 vote:

Hillbilly Jim: Hell even Meow Said the Dog.


I had him Farkied as "Borat 2.0"

Miss him too.
 
2020-09-20 3:50:32 PM  
1 vote:

I hereby demand that I be given a Fark account: SANTOS WIFE LEFT


Aww. He'll land on his feet. Plenty of fish in the sea.
 
2020-09-20 3:49:11 PM  
1 vote:

Incorrigible Astronaut: Mike McCarthy trying to be wayyyyyyy too clever in Dallas, fails a 4th down conversion again


Who could predict such things?
 
2020-09-20 3:48:34 PM  
1 vote:
The high point of the Lions season may end up being the end of the 3rd quarter in week 1.
 
2020-09-20 3:46:41 PM  
1 vote:
Aaron Jones serving me up almost 50 points in FFB muwahahahahaha
 
2020-09-20 3:46:30 PM  
1 vote:
Hmmm cowboys and Jets and Lions suck. It must be a year starting with a 20
 
2020-09-20 3:44:30 PM  
1 vote:
exactly how the Bears drew that play up.
 
2020-09-20 3:44:29 PM  
1 vote:

I hereby demand that I be given a Fark account: Judging by how Montgomery is running, this must be El Alamein.


CaptainAmericaIGotThatReference.jpg
 
2020-09-20 3:43:23 PM  
1 vote:

headshot1485: I hereby demand that I be given a Fark account: headshot1485: Danger Avoid Death: headshot1485: Danger Avoid Death: puffy999: jaylectricity: Drop the taco

Is that the new Twerking dance/song?

[Fark user image 814x401] [View Full Size image _x_]

Videogame theme song.

Is Trump a Nazi or something?

I'd say he masturbates to Mein Kampf if I believed for one second that he's actually ever read a book.

Hillbilly Jim: headshot1485: Danger Avoid Death: puffy999: jaylectricity: Drop the taco

Is that the new Twerking dance/song?

[Fark user image 814x401] [View Full Size image _x_]

Videogame theme song.

Is Trump a Nazi or something?

Yes

I don't think you know what Nazis are.

You're wrong. They know exactly what Nazis are, and that's why they are using the word.

lol ok, I'm not a Trump supporter but stop throwing Nazi around like he'shiatler.


Best. F*cking. Filterpwn. Ever.
 
2020-09-20 3:40:26 PM  
1 vote:
Roethlisberger whips out Johnson
 
2020-09-20 3:38:59 PM  
1 vote:
 
2020-09-20 3:38:56 PM  
1 vote:
Favre at a Brady game.  That's a level of insufferable prickitude that deserves a meteor strike.
 
2020-09-20 3:36:36 PM  
1 vote:
Adam Gase is the worst leader since Hitler
 
2020-09-20 3:35:17 PM  
1 vote:
Higbee has TD if you has coin
 
2020-09-20 3:29:19 PM  
1 vote:

germ78: and the pick 6 is wiped out by a PI call


TAINT wiped clean
 
2020-09-20 3:27:54 PM  
1 vote:

EnormousGreenRageMonster: And just seeing on ESPN's site that Dan Snyder and his wife are in COVID quarantine after a friend exposed them... couldn't happen to a nicer dickbag.


Snyder always liked a little exposure...
 
2020-09-20 3:27:10 PM  
1 vote:
And just seeing on ESPN's site that Dan Snyder and his wife are in COVID quarantine after a friend exposed them... couldn't happen to a nicer dickbag.
 
2020-09-20 3:26:44 PM  
1 vote:
Adam Gase is white privilege
 
2020-09-20 3:25:26 PM  
1 vote:
LOL at Mullens fixing the end zone pylon.
 
2020-09-20 3:24:24 PM  
1 vote:

jaylectricity: Drop the taco


Is that the new Twerking dance/song?
 
2020-09-20 3:23:24 PM  
1 vote:
DAK: "Imma score all these touchdowns my damn self"
 
2020-09-20 3:22:12 PM  
1 vote:
San Fransisco hasn't seen this many guys go down since...
 
2020-09-20 3:21:47 PM  
1 vote:

Iamos: picodenico: Iamos: Not thinking I'm going to sit in a theater until sometime next year. At least Bill & Ted was released for streaming.

Yeah, I'm annoyed that Tenet was released only in theaters. I want to see it, but not that badly.

I really hope they hold Top Gun 2 until it's reasonable to go again. I mean, our 65" 4K tv with a great sound bar is great...but I want to see that on a giant screen.

I remember seeing the original as a kid in Phoenix at the old Cinema Capri - a really big screen, one movie only place with tons of character. I agree, TG2 should be a big screen event. If they release it early, I hope they do a second run once things are safe again.


I saw Top Gun at the drive-in during one of my college years' summers as a lifeguard, when whole carloads of us would band together and head to the drive-in and spend more time drinking beer and goofing around instead of watching the movie. I think by the third time seeing it I had figured out that it had something to do with airplanes.
 
2020-09-20 3:21:06 PM  
1 vote:

Iamos: Di Atribe: fark. Dak in the tent. Andy Dalton in.

So that's where he ended up. Um, good luck with that.


Better than Cooper Rush.

And you probably just whispered to yourself, "Who?"

And you would be right.
 
2020-09-20 3:20:01 PM  
1 vote:
The Andy Dalton era has begun in Dallas.
 
2020-09-20 3:20:00 PM  
1 vote:
Replacement Niners start the 4th quarter leading 24-6.
 
2020-09-20 3:18:47 PM  
1 vote:
Red Rocket sighting
 
2020-09-20 3:17:45 PM  
1 vote:
Wow roughing the Dak

Concussing the Dak perhaps?
 
2020-09-20 3:17:08 PM  
1 vote:

Di Atribe: leehouse: So... Cousins is having a really bad day

But like..... Jake Delhomme Bad Day?


6/20, 59 yards, 2 sacks, 3 INTs, and a 0.0 QB rating.

You read that right.
 
2020-09-20 3:15:08 PM  
1 vote:
OH MY GOD AMARI COOPER WHAT A SNATCH!!!! 58 YARDS!
 
2020-09-20 3:10:42 PM  
1 vote:

ZMugg: nvmac: The highest we had were 400, but that is pretty bad. I've seen them as high as 800 near the fires in CA. That's nuts.

Flintstones Chewable air?


Ten million PPM

And growing
 
2020-09-20 3:09:50 PM  
1 vote:

nvmac: The highest we had were 400, but that is pretty bad. I've seen them as high as 800 near the fires in CA. That's nuts.


Flintstones Chewable air?
 
2020-09-20 3:07:14 PM  
1 vote:
PACKER TAINT
 
2020-09-20 3:05:00 PM  
1 vote:
Pittsburgh gifts the Donks a touchdown and they get a field goal out of it.
 
2020-09-20 3:01:05 PM  
1 vote:

puffy999: Cowboys comeback begins


Lol right! When has Atlanta ever choked away a big lead?
 
2020-09-20 2:59:49 PM  
1 vote:
Fox score bug inadvertently calls it the first quarter, I can think of no worse punishment than an extra two quarters of Jets football.
 
2020-09-20 2:59:06 PM  
1 vote:

Incorrigible Astronaut: Kirk Cousins is currently 6/19 for 59 yards, one sack, 3 INTs, and a 1.8 rating.


That's like misspelling your name on the SATs
 
2020-09-20 2:54:18 PM  
1 vote:
Fark Jay Feely. Goddamned T****t***.
 
2020-09-20 2:45:01 PM  
1 vote:
GOULD DOINKED WIFE GOOD
 
2020-09-20 2:42:45 PM  
1 vote:
Holy crap, 49ers just picked up a 3rd and 31 with a 55 yard run up the middle
 
2020-09-20 2:36:54 PM  
1 vote:

EvilToni: Danger Avoid Death: These lame-ass, overblown karaoke shows all need to dig a group grave and jump the f*ck in.

The first time I referred to The Masked Singer as "Funny Karaoke" my husband spit his beer out

I also then had to explain "furries" to my teenage son, so it wasn't a complete win.


FURRY KARAOKE damn auto-correct
 
2020-09-20 2:31:48 PM  
1 vote:
HALFTIME IN PHILLY

media1.tenor.comView Full Size

 
2020-09-20 2:22:23 PM  
1 vote:
Man, the Giants suck. They're losing by seventeen at the half. Lemme flip over to the other channel to see how the Jets are doing. Oh. They're losing by eighteen at the half. Terrific.
 
2020-09-20 2:20:40 PM  
1 vote:
so the giants have lost barkley and shepard? and a missed FG at te lst moment just as a bonus fark-you.
 
2020-09-20 2:20:23 PM  
1 vote:
Graham Gano good
 
2020-09-20 2:19:18 PM  
1 vote:
WOOOOO!!!!!! Niners need to play the Jets every weekend!
 
2020-09-20 2:19:16 PM  
1 vote:

Earguy: Danger Avoid Death: Earguy: Danger Avoid Death: LOL. Canned Philly boos after every Rams big gain.

Yeah, is that getting piped into the stadium so it sounds something like a real crowd?

I've wondered the same thing. I think the announcers just said as much, but as usual I'm paying more attention to Fark than I am the chucklef*cks in the booth.

I always love it when I say something to Mrs. Earguy and moments later the announcers say the same thing. It makes me seem so smart!


Agreeing with announcers is a sign of failure
 
2020-09-20 2:17:16 PM  
1 vote:
 Haden looks bad this year. Real bad.
 
2020-09-20 2:16:41 PM  
1 vote:

eddievercetti: Hey CBS, can you change this game (NYG/CHI) please?


To hockey?
 
2020-09-20 2:16:13 PM  
1 vote:
Hey CBS, can you change this game (NYG/CHI) please?
 
2020-09-20 2:14:03 PM  
1 vote:

I hereby demand that I be given a Fark account: Interesting plan by Chicago. Throw all the passes straight forward, just change which receiver is in the middle.


It short circuits Mitch's brain if you ask him to look in more than one place.
 
2020-09-20 2:11:35 PM  
1 vote:

UNC_Samurai: puffy999: Fark you Panthers, now we're gonna hear about Brady all farking week even though it's the Bucs defense doing well.

The Panthers might have the worst defense in the league.  Everyone retired or left in FA


In fact, one of the Bucs O-linemen flat out said this week, "It's going to be nice not having Kuechly calling out every one of our plays."
 
2020-09-20 2:11:27 PM  
1 vote:
TD STEELERS!!
 
2020-09-20 2:11:08 PM  
1 vote:
And no matter, because TD STEELERS DAGRON!
 
2020-09-20 2:10:58 PM  
1 vote:
BEAUTIFUL STEELERS TD!!!
 
2020-09-20 2:08:37 PM  
1 vote:

UNC_Samurai: Cousins gettin pounded in Indiana


High...Phrasing
 
2020-09-20 2:08:34 PM  
1 vote:

UNC_Samurai: Cousins gettin pounded in Indiana


Keep going....
 
2020-09-20 2:08:21 PM  
1 vote:

HeathenHealer: UNC_Samurai: Cousins gettin pounded in Indiana

We're watching football, not pronhub


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-09-20 2:08:08 PM  
1 vote:

ariseatex: Leader O'Cola: HaHha Judy got wrecked.

[i.pinimg.com image 500x626]


Too soon.
 
2020-09-20 2:08:03 PM  
1 vote:
Bills GET a call?? What planet am I on?
 
2020-09-20 2:07:41 PM  
1 vote:

UNC_Samurai: Cousins gettin pounded in Indiana


We're watching football, not pronhub
 
2020-09-20 2:05:39 PM  
1 vote:
IGGS TD?

media1.giphy.comView Full Size
 
2020-09-20 2:05:11 PM  
1 vote:

Leader O'Cola: HaHha Judy got wrecked.


i.pinimg.comView Full Size
 
2020-09-20 2:02:59 PM  
1 vote:
Bahahahah, the announcers acting like facing the mighty Jeff Driskel will be a thing for Pitt defense because they prepared for Drew Lock... Sure guys, that makes any kinda sense at all.
 
2020-09-20 1:59:06 PM  
1 vote:

Galileo's Daughter: Yay, power's back on in Miami!


I know someone who works for the 'Fins.  I pity them right now
 
2020-09-20 1:57:02 PM  
1 vote:

Galileo's Daughter: Oh, Fins-Jags is the Thursday night game?  Should help put me to sleep.


How did NBC look at the schedule and pick that one? Did they say "How do we get no viewers outside of Florida?"
 
2020-09-20 1:56:59 PM  
1 vote:

Nick el Ass: puffy999: Matt Ryan is so slow

Peyton Manning always looked like a newborn giraffe when he took off running.


Andrew Luck running always reminded me of Forrest Gump
 
2020-09-20 1:56:53 PM  
1 vote:

Incorrigible Astronaut: Adolf Oliver Nipples: Danger Avoid Death: Rams up 21-3. I think it might be a long day for Philly. Probably a long season.

From your lips to God's ears.

That Super Bowl window closed mighty, mighty quick.


Why do you think they drafted Hurts?
 
2020-09-20 1:55:20 PM  
1 vote:
Skipping record in the Pittsburgh game's CBS announcers?
 
2020-09-20 1:55:13 PM  
1 vote:
Oh, Fins-Jags is the Thursday night game?  Should help put me to sleep.
 
2020-09-20 1:55:12 PM  
1 vote:

Danger Avoid Death: I hereby demand that I be given a Fark account: Injury commercials are never good.

I know. I mean, who's gonna buy an ACL injury? How do you market a sprained ankle?

Oh, wait ... you didn't mean they have commercials for injuries. I guess that would be silly. Nevermind.


Tonya Harding's Kneecappers for Hire
 
2020-09-20 1:54:04 PM  
1 vote:
He's out there on the corner
 
2020-09-20 1:53:59 PM  
1 vote:

Hillbilly Jim: Danger Avoid Death: LOL. Canned Philly boos after every Rams big gain.

Will they start pumping in boos after Iggle plays?


The Iggles will actually have to have a play first.
 
2020-09-20 1:53:39 PM  
1 vote:
Meg out there on the corner I guess
 
2020-09-20 1:53:27 PM  
1 vote:

puffy999: Matt Ryan is so slow


I think developmentally delayed is the preferred term now
 
2020-09-20 1:53:24 PM  
1 vote:

I hereby demand that I be given a Fark account: Injury commercials are never good.


I know. I mean, who's gonna buy an ACL injury? How do you market a sprained ankle?

Oh, wait ... you didn't mean they have commercials for injuries. I guess that would be silly. Nevermind.
 
2020-09-20 1:53:18 PM  
1 vote:
"Looks straight enough, and it's long enough."

That's what she said.
 
2020-09-20 1:53:16 PM  
1 vote:
ATL 20 - DAL 0 -- 3 Quarters+ left
 
2020-09-20 1:51:41 PM  
1 vote:

geom_00: Snoop Dogg must of smoked all of his money away ... Cause he's now pimping Corona.


Hold my beer, I'm ordering dinner.

Did Somebody Say - Just Eat ft. Snoop Dogg (Official Video w/ subtitles)
Youtube uFPEedHvHqs
 
2020-09-20 1:49:11 PM  
1 vote:
Five fumbles in Dallas?

What's the Jake up to?
 
2020-09-20 1:48:42 PM  
1 vote:

HeathenHealer: I'm not trying to be snarky, but I thought Dallas was supposed to be good this year. WTF


They say that about the Cowboys EVERY. SINGLE. YEAR.
 
2020-09-20 1:47:14 PM  
1 vote:
Bills and dolphins are blacked out due to "technical difficulties"  lots of pissed off Buffalo and Miami fans, "tv van lost power"
 
2020-09-20 1:46:31 PM  
1 vote:

gregz18: If Barkley tore his ACL, you might as well put the Giants on the clock for the 2021 draft right now.


"We can draft Travis Etienne!"
- Gettleman, probably
 
2020-09-20 1:45:20 PM  
1 vote:
I love that the Bears signed Barkevious Mingo. If for no other reason than I love saying Barkevious Mingo

/also, Bears pick!
 
2020-09-20 1:45:07 PM  
1 vote:
Another farking fumble recovered by Atlanta. What the hell.....
 
2020-09-20 1:43:19 PM  
1 vote:

Nick el Ass: Rivers threw another interception, and if he keeps this up the Colts will be in position to draft another franchise qb in Trevor Lawrence.


Oh, that's where he ended up. I wonder if his family is still in San Diego and he makes the daily commute. Moving that many kids to Indiana would be tantamount to Oliver Twist levels of child abuse.
 
2020-09-20 1:43:10 PM  
1 vote:

dietbubba: Cowboys getting WORKED? GOOD


30 million for Dak was a real bargain though.  For Atlanta and the Rams
 
2020-09-20 1:41:06 PM  
1 vote:
I'm not trying to be snarky, but I thought Dallas was supposed to be good this year. WTF
 
2020-09-20 1:40:40 PM  
1 vote:

djslowdive: And Thomas is carted off. Holy farking hell.


Back from a long morning walk, checks the thread.  Holy hell 2020, Bosa and Thomas out and Garoppolo limping???

static01.nyt.comView Full Size
 
2020-09-20 1:38:09 PM  
1 vote:
I just grumbled at the TV, "Why don't you throw the farking ball to Ceedee Lamb!?"

And then he did it, so I guess ...... .no, I'm not going to take credit for coaching this team.
 
2020-09-20 1:36:49 PM  
1 vote:

Your_Huckleberry: Jesus...the Jets cannot play run defense.



FTFY
 
2020-09-20 1:35:11 PM  
1 vote:

puffy999: Donkey Show into the locker room


thumbs.gfycat.comView Full Size
 
2020-09-20 1:34:24 PM  
1 vote:
Sean McVay was still covering his mouth with the playcall sheet despite having a mask on.  (And not covering his nose while talking into his receiver, because that makes a difference.)
 
2020-09-20 1:33:10 PM  
1 vote:
Eagles D is social distancing from this game.

TD Rams
 
2020-09-20 1:29:10 PM  
1 vote:
"I've seen better hands on a clock"

As long as the power is on, those things are pretty reliable.
 
2020-09-20 1:28:38 PM  
1 vote:
Please get Conner and Johnson out of there.

Snell , McFarland, claypool.
 
2020-09-20 1:28:07 PM  
1 vote:

I hereby demand that I be given a Fark account: picodenico: I hereby demand that I be given a Fark account: Trubisky actually throws a perfect pass

LIES!

LIES!

BURN THE HEATHEN

I only said that the pass was good enough for Jehovah!


media1.tenor.comView Full Size
 
2020-09-20 1:27:00 PM  
1 vote:
Was the football dipped in olive oil before the game, Jesus
 
2020-09-20 1:19:31 PM  
1 vote:

Leader O'Cola: Aezetyr: Likely missing the rest of the afternoon games, getting into a plane to fly back to Beantown.

fark getting ON the plane, I'm getting IN the plane. (Paraphrased from the Carlin)

Why do they call it a near miss?


I guess it's kinda like a participation trophy. I mean they tried, they just didn't quite connect.
 
2020-09-20 1:19:05 PM  
1 vote:

Leader O'Cola: Aezetyr: Likely missing the rest of the afternoon games, getting into a plane to fly back to Beantown.

fark getting ON the plane, I'm getting IN the plane. (Paraphrased from the Carlin)

Why do they call it a near miss?


Its a near HIT!!
 
2020-09-20 1:17:41 PM  
1 vote:
Likely missing the rest of the afternoon games, getting into a plane to fly back to Beantown.

fark getting ON the plane, I'm getting IN the plane. (Paraphrased from the Carlin)
 
2020-09-20 1:15:33 PM  
1 vote:

eddievercetti: Danger Avoid Death: Good morning, everybody. It's nice to take a mental break from the steaming shiatpile that is 2020 and escape into football with all of you.

[em.wattpad.com image 612x612]


Forgot to add the Van is the PS5.
 
2020-09-20 1:13:34 PM  
1 vote:
Donate Johnson and James conner need to ride pine
 
2020-09-20 1:12:48 PM  
1 vote:

eddievercetti: Galileo's Daughter: So, it's been banned, but I'm watching a commercial for Tik Tok.  Amusing.

Oh no, Oracle and WalMart are buying the US app...both are also donors of You Know Who


So, instead of stupid teenage girl dance videos, we'll have stupid I'M ERIC videos?
 
2020-09-20 1:12:17 PM  
1 vote:

ariseatex: ariseatex: TD LOINS!

lol he did a Lambeau Leap, hi-fiving imaginary fans.


I need video of this....
 
2020-09-20 1:12:15 PM  
1 vote:
*ROARS IN BEAR*

BEAR DOWN!!!
 
2020-09-20 1:09:55 PM  
1 vote:

Incorrigible Astronaut: A mid-field 7 yard rush isn't an "instant highlight," RedZone.


Was it for the Browns?
 
2020-09-20 1:09:03 PM  
1 vote:

ariseatex: TD LOINS!


lol he did a Lambeau Leap, hi-fiving imaginary fans.
 
2020-09-20 1:08:43 PM  
1 vote:
A mid-field 7 yard rush isn't an "instant highlight," RedZone.
 
2020-09-20 1:06:38 PM  
1 vote:

phimuskapsi: LOL! Thanks! I'm not sure about genius, maybe just bored.


Well you're a genius to me, so just roll with it
 
2020-09-20 12:22:12 PM  
1 vote:
i.pinimg.comView Full Size

/I live in hope
//Go FISH!
 
2020-09-20 12:20:27 PM  
1 vote:
Fanduel got Terry Tate?
OFFICIAL - Terry Tate Office Linebacker "Superbowl Spot"
Youtube Kg5cdZ-Fnpc
 
2020-09-20 12:16:55 PM  
1 vote:
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-09-20 11:29:22 AM  
1 vote:
I woke up early to see COYS and I couldn't stay awake

media0.giphy.comView Full Size
 
2020-09-20 8:42:32 AM  
1 vote:
Go Steelers!
 
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