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(Daily Mail)   Looking to buy a bar? The Svalbar, one of the most northerly bars in the world - where polar bears look in through the windows and darkness endures for more than 100 days a year - is for sale at a cool one million euros   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line
    More: Cool  
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3737 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Sep 2020 at 9:30 PM (5 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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2020-09-19 7:38:45 PM  
Does that price include the headpiece to the Staff of Ra?
 
2020-09-19 9:45:11 PM  
fark that.
 
2020-09-19 9:46:36 PM  
How do you get your drunk arse home or to your hotel without becoming bear food?  If you get drunk and obnoxious, does the bouncer throw you out even if a bear is looking through the window?  So many questions.
 
2020-09-19 9:47:51 PM  

pissnmoan: How do you get your drunk arse home or to your hotel without becoming bear food?  If you get drunk and obnoxious, does the bouncer throw you out even if a bear is looking through the window?  So many questions.


You don't really have to worry about the polar bears. You'll freeze to death long before they find you.
 
2020-09-19 9:48:57 PM  

HighlanderRPI: Does that price include the headpiece to the Staff of Ra?


No, but you can get a cool piece of body art that will last a lifetime

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-09-19 9:53:03 PM  
Easier and less costly to just open a Svenbar next door.
 
2020-09-19 9:53:08 PM  
Epic. Idea. Make this a place you send people. And once their at the bar. Send them an email.

This is me, giving you a cold shoulder.
 
2020-09-19 9:54:08 PM  
I worked as a bartender there a while back. One night a polar bear walked in, sat at the bar and ordered a beer.

"That'll be 75 kroner," I told the bear. He sat and sipped at the beer. After a couple of minutes I remarked to him, "Y'know, we don't get many polar bears in here."

The bear looked up from his beer and said, "Yeah, and at these prices, you're not likely to see many more."
 
2020-09-19 9:56:43 PM  
Svalbar belongs to the Nords!
 
2020-09-19 9:58:49 PM  

pissnmoan: How do you get your drunk arse home or to your hotel without becoming bear food?  If you get drunk and obnoxious, does the bouncer throw you out even if a bear is looking through the window?  So many questions.


Some days you eat at the bar,
And some days, well, the b'ar eats you.
 
2020-09-19 10:02:19 PM  
Cool
 
2020-09-19 10:04:20 PM  
So... do they get last call only once a year?
 
2020-09-19 10:04:33 PM  
"Bone chilling" -18C?

Oh right, that's Daily Fail. Carry on then...
 
2020-09-19 10:06:44 PM  

MBooda: I worked as a bartender there a while back. One night a polar bear walked in, sat at the bar and ordered a beer.

"That'll be 75 kroner," I told the bear. He sat and sipped at the beer. After a couple of minutes I remarked to him, "Y'know, we don't get many polar bears in here."

The bear looked up from his beer and said, "Yeah, and at these prices, you're not likely to see many more."


I expected the..............
............"Why the long paws?"

Αστεία σκηνή Jerry Lewis - The Nutty Professor 1963
Youtube MH8ZGTKJLOY
 
2020-09-19 10:13:27 PM  
I have a bar for sale in Madison, WI so I'm really getting a kick out of these replies.

Hint hint
 
2020-09-19 10:18:31 PM  

pissnmoan: How do you get your drunk arse home or to your hotel without becoming bear food?  If you get drunk and obnoxious, does the bouncer throw you out even if a bear is looking through the window?  So many questions.


Seems like a good incentive to not get drunk.
 
2020-09-19 10:19:23 PM  
I've actually been to that bar in Svalbard and and it was a bright shiny summery day at midnight despite the ice.I had a great time. Don't get me started on the haunted Russian music box I found
Norwegian Polar Institute
 
2020-09-19 10:19:42 PM  

jmswentzel: I have a bar for sale in Madison, WI so I'm really getting a kick out of these replies.

Hint hint


I've never been there but everything that I've heard or read says Madison is a great place to live.
 
2020-09-19 10:20:13 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size


PISTOLE!

 
2020-09-19 10:44:50 PM  
That looks like a great place to visit... but not a place I'd want to move to and run a bar.
 
2020-09-19 10:48:13 PM  
Apparently they have faster internet on that island than the rest of Norway, according to an article I looked at.  Could be the deal-clincher!
 
2020-09-19 10:48:59 PM  

Billy Liar: MBooda: I worked as a bartender there a while back. One night a polar bear walked in, sat at the bar and ordered a beer.

"That'll be 75 kroner," I told the bear. He sat and sipped at the beer. After a couple of minutes I remarked to him, "Y'know, we don't get many polar bears in here."

The bear looked up from his beer and said, "Yeah, and at these prices, you're not likely to see many more."

I expected the..............
............"Why the long paws?"

[Youtube-video https://www.youtube.com/embed/MH8ZGTKJ​LOY]


I was expecting, "We definitely don't serve bears on drugs."
 
2020-09-19 10:50:42 PM  

jmswentzel: I have a bar for sale in Madison, WI so I'm really getting a kick out of these replies.

Hint hint


Look, give us an address and a few google images to piss on.
 
2020-09-19 11:11:52 PM  
Honestly this sounds amazing and maybe once I retire, something like this would give me something to do. And likely in a much colder place in Canada where I live
 
2020-09-19 11:12:39 PM  

Pershing123: Apparently they have faster internet on that island than the rest of Norway, according to an article I looked at.  Could be the deal-clincher!


Yes, you could possibly order a case of polar bear repellant spray a touch quicker but it won't be delivered any faster.
 
2020-09-19 11:13:52 PM  

pissnmoan: How do you get your drunk arse home or to your hotel without becoming bear food?  If you get drunk and obnoxious, does the bouncer throw you out even if a bear is looking through the window?  So many questions.


This guy might have an idea for the bears

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-09-19 11:14:45 PM  
The polar bears only look through the window and move on because the bar sells Pepsi products. Everyone knows polar bears prefer Coca Cola.
 
2020-09-19 11:16:18 PM  
Is -18C just really unimaginably cold to the British? Because as a Canadian I can't picture it being that warm.
 
2020-09-19 11:17:28 PM  

MasterPython: Is -18C just really unimaginably cold to the British? Because as a Canadian I can't picture it being that warm.


They don't have a moose out front telling them these things.
 
2020-09-19 11:25:04 PM  

jmswentzel: I have a bar for sale in Madison, WI so I'm really getting a kick out of these replies.

Hint hint


Sorry, I'd rather deal with 100 days of darkness and an occasional polar bear than 100 Badger frat boys and an occasional blizzard.
 
2020-09-19 11:45:09 PM  

Pershing123: Apparently they have faster internet on that island than the rest of Norway, according to an article I looked at.  Could be the deal-clincher!



Svalbar: 23,561 mi2. Pop: 2,939 (2020)Maine: 35,385 mi2. Pop: 1,344,2123 or 4 good WiFi hot-spots could cover Svalbar's entire population.
 
2020-09-19 11:46:55 PM  
Sign me up. Solitude and time to think. And not in the US, because this place is turning to crap.
 
2020-09-19 11:47:56 PM  

ZMugg: Pershing123: Apparently they have faster internet on that island than the rest of Norway, according to an article I looked at.  Could be the deal-clincher!


Svalbar: 23,561 mi2. Pop: 2,939 (2020)
Maine: 35,385 mi2. Pop: 1,344,212
3 or 4 good WiFi hot-spots could cover Svalbar's entire population.


Thanks again Fark Format GremlinTM.

No doubt about it, it will never get fixed.
 
2020-09-19 11:48:11 PM  
Finns for the win.
 
2020-09-19 11:53:45 PM  

MBooda: I worked as a bartender there a while back. One night a polar bear walked in, sat at the bar and ordered a beer.

"That'll be 75 kroner," I told the bear. He sat and sipped at the beer. After a couple of minutes I remarked to him, "Y'know, we don't get many polar bears in here."

The bear looked up from his beer and said, "Yeah, and at these prices, you're not likely to see many more."


I was just in the mood for that joke. If you typed it out, I applaud you. If you merely copy pasta, then I thank you.
 
2020-09-20 12:51:47 AM  
People go to the bars in Northern Minnesota in the winter and, on really cold nights, they will sometimes just leave their trucks running outside while they're inside drinking so the trucks don't freeze up. I can't imagine what kind of arctic weirdness this place is inspiring.
 
2020-09-20 1:20:40 AM  
Polar bear walks into a bar says I'll have a gin........................and tonic

Bartender says "Why the big pause?"

The polar bear looks down for awhile then looks up and says

"I don't know, my daddy had em too"
 
2020-09-20 1:33:14 AM  

a_room_with_a_moose: Sign me up. Solitude and time to think. And not in the US, because this place is turning to crap.


Sorry dude, and don't try and outbid me and run up the price.  Maybe we could partner?  My main question was "does spending the money to obtain ownership of the bar grant you citizenship?"

And it may be too early, but in about 5-10 years I'd like to start decorating the walls and change to a beachfront, tropical theme.
 
2020-09-20 2:06:19 AM  

Pershing123: Apparently they have faster internet on that island than the rest of Norway, according to an article I looked at.  Could be the deal-clincher!


SvalSat groundstation for the European Space Agency just south of the airport. The tubes are huuuge on the interwebs there.
 
2020-09-20 2:07:55 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size

The reason for high speed internet. Radio dishes for ESA satellites. Lots of data, many technicians.
 
2020-09-20 2:16:34 AM  

The Captain's Ghost: jmswentzel: I have a bar for sale in Madison, WI so I'm really getting a kick out of these replies.

Hint hint

Sorry, I'd rather deal with 100 days of darkness and an occasional polar bear than 100 Badger frat boys and an occasional blizzard.


What about the vampires?
 
2020-09-20 2:25:19 AM  
That's sounds depressing as heck; wake up, it's dark, go for a drink, keep drinking, go home, pass out, wake up, it's still dark, go for a drink, keep drinking...
I'm guessing they also get 100 days of sunshine to balance things off.
Have you ever seen how depressing bars look like when the lights are on or it's really bright?
It's like the difference between watching a scene in a movie, then seeing how fake everything is and insubstantial, when you watch that same scene in the behind the scenes or actually visit a set.
Not that I'd know...

Verdict: send anyone with a repeat DUI there. If the are still alive in three years bring them back because they've either a) sobered up. Or b) become indestructible and you don't want to piss them off
 
2020-09-20 6:09:32 AM  

batlock666: The Captain's Ghost: jmswentzel: I have a bar for sale in Madison, WI so I'm really getting a kick out of these replies.

Hint hint

Sorry, I'd rather deal with 100 days of darkness and an occasional polar bear than 100 Badger frat boys and an occasional blizzard.

What about the vampires?


What about usthem?
 
2020-09-20 7:47:03 AM  

Pershing123: Apparently they have faster internet on that island than the rest of Norway, according to an article I looked at.  Could be the deal-clincher!


They can't have, since their internet is connected to Norway.

And Norway (Sweden, Finland etc.) don't have super fast internet anyway, as the European backbone stops in Denmark (which is why the datacenters open in Denmark, much to the annoyance of Sweden and Norway, since much of the "green" electricity is produced by them).

Maybe the article is confusing what dataplans you can purchase, with actual available speed?
 
2020-09-20 8:59:07 AM  

The Captain's Ghost: batlock666: The Captain's Ghost: jmswentzel: I have a bar for sale in Madison, WI so I'm really getting a kick out of these replies.

Hint hint

Sorry, I'd rather deal with 100 days of darkness and an occasional polar bear than 100 Badger frat boys and an occasional blizzard.

What about the vampires?

What about usthem?


More importantly, what about the Panserbjørn?

static.wikia.nocookie.netView Full Size
 
2020-09-20 10:33:39 AM  

MasterPython: Is -18C just really unimaginably cold to the British? Because as a Canadian I can't picture it being that warm.


Gulf Stream/North Atlantic current goes all the way up there. While it's not very warm by the time it reaches Svalbard, it's warm enough to moderate the weather significantly. Meanwhile, the Canadian Maritimes are seeing the return cold current from the Arctic Ocean. That's why the UK doesn't see any sea ice and the coast of Labrador is loaded with it in winter.
 
2020-09-20 10:57:53 AM  
If I had the opportunity I would seriously consider spending a year or more up there. I guess it depends on how humid it is but I deal with cold quite well. Parts of Montana and North Dakota are actually colder.

The winter darkness would suck but there's an appeal to the clock being virtually meaningless. 3AM? 3PM? What does it matter? And it's made up for by long daylight summer hours. If the world goes to pot and you have to be self sufficient the arctic is actually quite plentiful.

We could solve multiple problems at once by feeding the congressional Republicans to starving polar bears.
 
2020-09-20 11:01:25 AM  
Froman:

We could solve multiple problems at once by feeding the congressional Republicans to starving polar bears.

Alaska is full of Republicans; the bears won't touch em.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-09-20 11:59:22 AM  

MasterPython: Is -18C just really unimaginably cold to the British? Because as a Canadian I can't picture it being that warm.


Yes, because we don't live in Canada. It just doesn't get that cold here, well, maybe one in a Century.
 
2020-09-20 12:16:41 PM  
Looks way nicer than what I was expecting.
 
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