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(Amazon)   Door closer sex nuts. They're so hot   (amazon.com) divider line
    More: Giggity, Price, 1916  
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3386 clicks; posted to Fandom » on 19 Sep 2020 at 1:05 PM (9 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



36 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2020-09-19 9:13:32 AM  
in aluminum? I didn't know that was legal!
 
2020-09-19 9:21:06 AM  
I got yer sex nuts right here.
 
2020-09-19 9:21:48 AM  
According to the only legit review it only contains the female closing sex nuts, not that there's anything wrong with that.
 
2020-09-19 9:28:02 AM  
My only question is: "How long until someone gets one stuck in his penis?"
 
2020-09-19 10:43:38 AM  

maddan: My only question is: "How long until someone gets one stuck in his penis?"


They call them sex nuts for a reason.
 
2020-09-19 10:50:14 AM  

BumpInTheNight: According to the only legit review it only contains the female closing sex nuts, not that there's anything wrong with that.


Damn you Ellen Page!
 
2020-09-19 11:29:32 AM  
Screw you, subby.
 
2020-09-19 11:42:07 AM  
In a different life I used to have to navigate to sex bolts because the company filter didn't like that word. So farking stupid.
 
2020-09-19 1:10:55 PM  
The sex nuts come in a set of four.

That sounds... excessive.

And awkward.  It's hard enough to keep two of them out of the way.
 
2020-09-19 1:13:36 PM  
Sofia Rosenthal 1.0 out of 5 stars Reviewed in the United States on March 25, 2019
Verified PurchaseI just received this product and it only contains 4 of the female parts.
Four female sex nuts?That's how I wanna go out...
 
2020-09-19 1:15:06 PM  
"Door Closer Sex Nuts" is the name of my kazoo and steel drum Red Hot Chili Peppers cover band.
 
2020-09-19 1:15:13 PM  
bughunter:
Sofia Rosenthal
1.0 out of 5 stars
Reviewed in the United States on March 25, 2019
Verified Purchase
I just received this product and it only contains 4 of the female parts.

Four female sex nuts?That's how I wanna go out...


Fark's linefeed gremlin really torques my nuts.
 
2020-09-19 1:31:12 PM  
Ya wanna get door closer sex nuts!? C'mon, let's get door closer sex nuts!
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-09-19 1:43:16 PM  
That's docking.

/Known because of childish roommates.
 
2020-09-19 1:43:57 PM  
Subby's gonna get real excited if they ever see a plumbing catalog.
 
2020-09-19 1:46:27 PM  

bughunter: The sex nuts come in a set of four.

That sounds... excessive.

And awkward.  It's hard enough to keep two of them out of the way.


Unless you're Krogan. Four is standard.
 
2020-09-19 2:01:15 PM  
Top review complains that there are only females, and that screwing is lacking

/giggity
 
2020-09-19 2:02:58 PM  

LesserEvil: "Door Closer Sex Nuts" is the name of my kazoo and steel drum Red Hot Chili Peppers cover band.


Oh thank god it's not just me. I instantly thought "that sounds like some RHCP bullshiat"
 
2020-09-19 2:11:03 PM  

BumpInTheNight: According to the only legit review it only contains the female closing sex nuts, not that there's anything wrong with that.


They don't mention having contacted the seller to notify them they didn't get what they were expecting, and have the opportunity to make it right. I've done that before when something came incomplete, and the seller made a reasonable effort to make it right for me and I was satisfied. Shiat happens, but also many people are bog farking stupid, so I'm skeptical of a review like that which doesn't mention even having tried to contact the seller.

Shiat breaks in transit, accidents happen at the factory, humans make mistakes when packing - life isn't perfect. It's what comes next which makes the difference between a good seller and a bad one.
 
2020-09-19 2:12:57 PM  

LesserEvil: "Door Closer Sex Nuts" is the name of my kazoo and steel drum Red Hot Chili Peppers cover band.


My lawyer will be contacting you soon, because it's the name of my travelling salesman themed ska cover band.
 
2020-09-19 2:37:33 PM  

arrogantbastich: In a different life I used to have to navigate to sex bolts because the company filter didn't like that word. So farking stupid.


No one has come up with a better name for them either, not one that has standardized anyway.
Sex bolts are pretty standard requirements in several industries, but hard to search for as everyone now has to filter navigate by calling them -something-, but no one agrees as to what.
-
'Chicago Screw' seems to be becoming used a bit more commonly than most, but still nowhere near a standard usage
 
2020-09-19 2:52:07 PM  

Dryad: Sex bolts


When I was a young man I used have sex and bolt all the time. Now I am married and the bolt part is missing.
 
2020-09-19 3:38:24 PM  

Raoul Eaton: Subby's gonna get real excited if they ever see a plumbing catalog.


"Female-Female adapter" is my favorite Pornhub category.
 
2020-09-19 3:39:26 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-09-19 4:33:49 PM  
You need a micro thing to be able to screw into these.
 
2020-09-19 4:38:03 PM  
Every Asian corporation needs an English/marketing major
 
2020-09-19 4:48:01 PM  
Apparently, there are people whose idea of sex involves closing your nuts in a door.
 
2020-09-19 5:31:58 PM  
Just a quick warning to anyone new to the thread, link contains nuts.
 
2020-09-19 7:22:36 PM  

Pharmdawg: Every Asian corporation needs an English/marketing major


Global Door Controls is based in Charlotte, NC. This isn't an Engrish thing. It's just a thing.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sex_bol​t
 
2020-09-19 7:41:40 PM  
Surely some sex nuts leave the door open...
 
2020-09-19 9:01:55 PM  
It's what you call your HARDware.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-09-19 9:52:46 PM  
Now I want to call all of my heat shrink tubing abstinent penises.
 
2020-09-19 10:32:12 PM  
Dryad: ...'Chicago Screw' seems to be becoming used a bit more commonly than most, but still nowhere near a standard usage

Uh, we've been using that term for years. They've been using those for binders, key holders, etc... for eons.
 
2020-09-19 11:49:12 PM  
Meh. Grow up.  What's the big deal?  I've installed a fair few door closers, using sex bolts.  Sex bolts are also handy for attaching cabinets to each other.
 
2020-09-20 11:35:50 PM  

Johnny the Tackling Alzheimers Patient: Apparently, there are people whose idea of sex involves closing your nuts in a door.


Some people pay extra for that.
 
2020-09-21 12:23:51 AM  
Quite a deal for Prince Albert installation parties.
 
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