Skip to content
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Yahoo)   Jerry Falwell Jr., did not fall well while drunk   (yahoo.com) divider line
    More: Dumbass, Jerry Falwell, Liberty University, Jerry Falwell, Jr., Jerry Falwell Jr., Jonathan Falwell, Lynchburg, Virginia, president of Liberty University, Thomas Road Baptist Church  
•       •       •

7044 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Sep 2020 at 6:30 AM (18 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

 
2020-09-17 10:32:40 PM  
73 votes:
Additional reports state Falwell offered to watch his wife go to the hospital instead.
 
2020-09-17 10:28:24 PM  
30 votes:

optikeye: That stupid women shouldn't have called the police.

/sarcasm.


If you take that back she'll bang you.
 
2020-09-18 8:02:04 AM  
29 votes:
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-09-17 9:30:36 PM  
28 votes:
Blood from whatever ???
 
2020-09-18 7:23:55 AM  
24 votes:
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-09-18 6:41:02 AM  
21 votes:
Was he drinking Campari?
 
2020-09-18 6:44:09 AM  
14 votes:

TwowheelinTim: thorpe: optikeye: That stupid women shouldn't have called the police.

/sarcasm.

If you clean her pool she'll bang you.

FTFY


Let's cut to the chase: She'll bang you.
 
2020-09-18 6:58:56 AM  
12 votes:

Wanebo: There's going to be a rock bottom and then a rise to the top down the road where he regrets his despicable fall from grace but then expounds on his fantastic recovery and touts how folks should now see  him as a fallen angel that has recovered his wings.

Asshole.


Or his body is discovered in a filthy cheap motel room next to a dead prostitute and enough drugs and alcohol to kill an elephant.

I'm just trying to be optimistic.
 
2020-09-18 2:04:37 AM  
12 votes:

thorpe: optikeye: That stupid women shouldn't have called the police.

/sarcasm.

If you clean her pool she'll bang you.


FTFY
 
2020-09-18 7:02:22 AM  
10 votes:
You'd drink too if your wife was farking the pool boy.
 
d23 [OhFark]
2020-09-18 6:49:15 AM  
10 votes:

Warrior Kermit: PR stunt?  turn Falwell into a drunk, claim it is a disease that with the help of God he will overcome and in a couple years of being sober, come back with his own TV show fleecing the Jim Baker flock for millions


Well, the truth is that The Left™ put that alcohol in his home.  Moreover they put it in a spot where he could see it.  It is obviously the fault of The Left.
 
2020-09-18 6:52:06 AM  
9 votes:
I fell in a koi pond once after I took a few hits of liquid acid it was pretty funny
 
2020-09-17 10:06:34 PM  
8 votes:

Wanebo: There's going to be a rock bottom and then a rise to the top down the road where he regrets his despicable fall from grace but then expounds on his fantastic recovery and touts how folks should now see  him as a fallen angel that has recovered his wings.

Asshole.


Or he dies.
 
2020-09-18 7:03:19 AM  
7 votes:

Marcos P: I fell in a koi pond once after I took a few hits of liquid acid it was pretty funny


who hasn't wanted to swim with koi while on acid?

They're much prettier than boring dolphins or those pesky elves.
 
2020-09-18 7:54:47 AM  
6 votes:
Pegging accident ?
 
2020-09-18 7:17:28 AM  
6 votes:

jimjays: Warrior Kermit: PR stunt?  turn Falwell into a drunk, claim it is a disease that with the help of God he will overcome and in a couple years of being sober, come back with his own TV show fleecing the Jim Baker flock for millions

I could see that. And his drinking would be better to fess up to than that his wife beat the mess out him.


Dude, it's much better to sit in the pond and listen to the wise sayings of the catfish. The koi are lightweights.
 
2020-09-18 7:09:11 AM  
5 votes:
this dude is living the dream
 
2020-09-17 10:49:25 PM  
5 votes:
Quite the scene. I assume after several days rest he arose.

"Earlier that morning, around 2:30 a.m., Bedford County dispatchers received a 911 call from Becki Falwell. She described being at church around 11 p.m. and receiving a call from her husband, who said he was bleeding after a fall down the stairs. Finding the doors locked when she got home, she used a chair to break through the back door.

The dispatcher asked whether her husband had been drinking alcohol; Becki Falwell said "yes." When asked if he had been drinking "heavily," she said, "I'm not going to answer that question."  The dispatcher explained that alcohol thins the blood and could account for the excessive bleeding, and restated the question. "The more I tell you the name, the more you're going to understand why we're not talking to you right now," Becki Falwell said. Dispatch logs, obtained by HuffPost via a public records request, state that "He won't let her take him to the hospital as he is stubborn. Caller was not forthcoming."

But medics and emergency responders arrived at the residence later that night. A responder observed lacerations on Jerry Falwell Jr.'s face, including under his left eye, across the bridge of his nose, and above both his right and left eyes.The responder also recorded in a report that Jerry Falwell Jr. said he hit his head on a trash can, and that there was "blood in the area he indicated" as well as "empty alcohol containers." The officer also noted "Jerry had slurred and slowed speach (sic) and would repeat things already asked." "


And something about that timeline seems missing.
 
2020-09-17 9:49:43 PM  
5 votes:
That stupid women shouldn't have called the police.

/sarcasm.
 
2020-09-18 1:33:53 PM  
4 votes:
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-09-18 6:33:58 AM  
4 votes:

Wanebo: There's going to be a rock bottom and then a rise to the top down the road where he regrets his despicable fall from grace but then expounds on his fantastic recovery and touts how folks should now see  him as a fallen angel that has recovered his wings.

Asshole.


Oh, no, he's finished in evangelical circles because he's watched his wife get rammed by the pool boy. They don't care that he got cheated on, they do care because he LIKED it.
 
Boe [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2020-09-18 8:56:02 AM  
3 votes:
In the early 90's I was at a very crowded dance club and almost stepped on this young woman crawling on the floor looking for a lost earring.  I helped her find it, then helped her to her feet.  She seemed very drunk although it was kind of early in the evening.  She then introduced herself, told me she was under age (apparently had a fake ID to get in the club) and said she was on Spring Break from her university that her uncle founded.  Yes, THAT university.  I'm guessing they may be a family of "heavy drinkers"
 
2020-09-18 8:37:32 AM  
3 votes:

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: She (Becki) described being at church around 11 p.m...

No one is at church around 11 p.m.
She was out with her new side piece.


Right in the Rectory.
 
2020-09-18 6:59:26 AM  
3 votes:
Looks like living with himself is taking its toll.
 
2020-09-18 11:46:48 AM  
2 votes:

Crewmannumber6: [Fark user image 425x425]


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-09-18 8:50:44 AM  
2 votes:
Not going to go into great detail on how I know this, but those injuries obviously didn't come from a fall down the stairs.

Bending over to pick up a bottle that still has  some drink in it and planting face first in a garbage bin.....that's how you get the injuries described
 
2020-09-18 8:43:36 AM  
2 votes:
Rears.  Not tears.  Damn fat thumb of mine
 
2020-09-18 8:23:12 AM  
2 votes:

d23: Warrior Kermit: PR stunt?  turn Falwell into a drunk, claim it is a disease that with the help of God he will overcome and in a couple years of being sober, come back with his own TV show fleecing the Jim Baker flock for millions

Well, the truth is that The Left™ put that alcohol in his home.  Moreover they put it in a spot where he could see it.  It is obviously the fault of The Left.


I don't remember...  are we also blaming The Jews?
 
2020-09-18 7:24:34 AM  
2 votes:
Has Jerry considered that maybe Jesus just doesn't like him?
 
2020-09-18 7:19:30 AM  
2 votes:
You'd drink heavily, too, if you were in your 40s and realised you had no marketable skills and your name was all over the tabloids.

Jerry's got a lot of re-inventing himself to do if he ever wants to work again.  But he does have all those millions.

Now me, I'd take a million or so, sell the mansion and the cars, take the wife and buy a place in the country for a few hundred grand, and live off the interest on my millions until I got my shiat together and decided what I was going to do with the rest of my life. But that's me. I'm sure Jerry will figure it out.
 
2020-09-18 7:16:18 AM  
2 votes:

Mail Order American Husband: Wanebo: There's going to be a rock bottom and then a rise to the top down the road where he regrets his despicable fall from grace but then expounds on his fantastic recovery and touts how folks should now see  him as a fallen angel that has recovered his wings.

Asshole.

Or his body is discovered in a filthy cheap motel room next to a dead prostitute and enough drugs and alcohol to kill an elephant.

I'm just trying to be optimistic.


I'd prefer his body be found dead in a cheap motel next to the corpses of Don Jr and Jared.

Jerry was watching.
 
2020-09-17 9:30:42 PM  
2 votes:
There's going to be a rock bottom and then a rise to the top down the road where he regrets his despicable fall from grace but then expounds on his fantastic recovery and touts how folks should now see  him as a fallen angel that has recovered his wings.

Asshole.
 
2020-09-18 10:07:27 AM  
1 vote:
That black water is potent stuff, lemme tellya

For a prop, it clearly didn't prop him up very well
 
2020-09-18 8:27:12 AM  
1 vote:

Dallymo: TwowheelinTim: thorpe: optikeye: That stupid women shouldn't have called the police.

/sarcasm.

If you clean her pool she'll bang you.

FTFY

Let's cut to the chase: She'll bang you.


There's a line, though. Better bring a chair. And some snacks.
 
2020-09-18 8:06:14 AM  
1 vote:

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: She (Becki) described being at church around 11 p.m...

No one is at church around 11 p.m.
She was out with her new side piece.


In the bible, "church" is occasionally defined as the body of individual living believers (1 Corinthians 15:9; Galatians 1:13). The great thing about the bible is that you can interpret it to approve or condemn nearly anything convent to you at any given moment.

So as long as her side piece is an individual living believer, she didn't bear false witness.
 
2020-09-18 8:01:45 AM  
1 vote:
Why does Jimmy Swaggart come to mind (so to speak)?

Give Falwell a year or two, then he'll come roaring back how all of this made him see how he had fallen from grace but had repented and Jesus forgave him and blah blah blah blah blah and he'll be back on the gravy train.
 
2020-09-18 7:20:06 AM  
1 vote:

Wanebo: There's going to be a rock bottom and then a rise to the top down the road where he regrets his despicable fall from grace but then expounds on his fantastic recovery and touts how folks should now see  him as a fallen angel that has recovered his wings.

Asshole.


he will make hundreds of thousands of dollars selling a book about it. Hallmark will option the movie rights. there will be a spin-off show broadcast on prime time TV. it's only just begun.
 
2020-09-18 7:18:16 AM  
1 vote:
She (Becki) described being at church around 11 p.m...

No one is at church around 11 p.m.
She was out with her new side piece.
 
2020-09-18 4:10:45 AM  
1 vote:
That dude is every evangelical ever.
 
Displayed 39 of 39 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking





On Twitter



  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.