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(Yahoo)   Men paying for dates is "chivalry," not "sexism"   ( story.news.yahoo.com) divider line
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3935 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Feb 2002 at 8:48 PM (16 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

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2002-02-02 01:51:11 AM  

I came up with that policy fairly early on. Just goes along with my tendency to tackle the more difficult puzzle first, then save the easy stuff for last.

Besides, it's just plain chivalrous (a-HA! managed to bring it back on-topic!)
2002-02-02 01:52:18 AM  
Uhm... ok... I will warn you now its a bit... off putting.

Just so you know you have been warned.

Any how this girl, who's name I will with hold, and I were in bed resting after we had done some rather energetic bumping of uglies. Me still being a teenager at the time was ready to go again with in a few minutes. So the girl decides to go down adn give me some rather talented oral ministrations. Then her dog, Bandit, walks in. This did not at all cause any problems for me as it was just a dog. That was until Bandit took it upon himself to stick his nose between the girls legs give her some oral ministrations.

Of course at this point I freaked (and went instantly soft), Bandit ran, and the girl was pissed at me for freaking over such a little thing.
2002-02-02 01:53:15 AM  
Freak: you sure get a lot more information out of a photo than I do. Or is this a brer-rabbit kinda thing?

Nsquark: yes, never had any though :) Er...not on purpose anyway.
2002-02-02 01:53:39 AM  
Another awkward question, but I figure I might as well take advantage of the presence of all you penis experts. Whats up with the sensivity after the money-shot, is it just me? I mean I had this one chick that kept try to fondle and play with it afterwords and I finally had to resort to cocking one back and giving it to her on the jaw (all puns intended).
2002-02-02 01:53:47 AM  
er....wow. Yeah, that'd do it.
2002-02-02 01:55:25 AM  
Well Grizzlyjohnson its just that she looks like she might be a goth chick and who knows what kinda wierd shiat their into.
2002-02-02 01:55:26 AM  
Handcuffs? Not in a few years, sorry to say. Last weekend there was some stuff involving a skinny little not-even-real-leather belt from Compagnie Int'l. Express, but even that was the first time in months, and it was reciprocal. It was his idea... and we were both more-than-willingly compliant.

Honestly though, vanilla sex is so underrated on the internet these days, and that's just so sad. There's something to be said for no-props-involved ol' fashion fizz-uckin'. As far as other kinky stuff goes...well... there are lurkers afoot. So I'm not saying anything. hehe.
2002-02-02 01:56:11 AM  
So the dog was trying to hone in on some action, that is hilarious. Sorry Code but you have now have invited comments like the following: the dog probably gave better oral sex, the dog and her are an item now right?, etc. etc.
2002-02-02 01:56:40 AM  
Grizzlyjohnson...you may be right...the learned thing that is. You definitely have the concept tho. If you don't give a crap about your partner being please...then you'll be bad in bed...
2002-02-02 01:56:58 AM  
Yeah, that pretty much settles it CandyPink. Im all for the vanilla, no belts or whips for me. The other braver Farkers in here can have you all to themselves.
2002-02-02 01:57:28 AM  
vanilla sex....mmmmmm....

I've always said the kinky stuff is okay, for fun, but if that's the only thing that will turn your crank, then it's official: you've had too much normal sex. stop now.
2002-02-02 01:57:43 AM  
Code_archeologist: ROFL! I think I'd find that a tad unappealing too. Some people are bothered if the dog's in the room just looking at them. I think most people would be bothered by the dog participating. Not to mention what clues that might give you into possible areas of the girl's character that you might find...er...unsuitable.
2002-02-02 01:57:53 AM  
Goth? OMG no!!! I am the anti-goth. Goth people scare me. Anyone so concerned about looking depressed can't be very much fun at all. Besides, goth people hate people who like alcohol and weed, and I like both, in liberal quantities.
2002-02-02 01:58:53 AM  
Interesting thread we have going here... now for my own rant, I'll have to generalize in the worst way. Can we avoid that problem at this point? Of course not. So if this doesn't hold true for you, then don't get pissed.
Well, here's how it is. Guys, we're damned if we do, damned if we don't. That's it. Kaput. We live in a world where those lacking the Y chromosome want both their equality and their special treatment. There's no winning here. Even when you try to be nice to a girl, there's the chance that they'll accuse you of being a gentleman simply b/c of some coniving little scheme you're cooking up to get them in bed. What the hell? And yes, I too have been shot glares for opening doors. I find it strange that men are more often grateful for opening doors than women. Women, are you really that distrusting of us?
"Why yes, by letting you in the elevator first, I am secretly planning to lure you into my bed for a night of wild sex, whereupon I shall leave the next day and tell all of my male counterparts about how I slept with you, a slut, so that I may further degrade and demoralize the femine half of the human race. You found me out. Damn..."
I don't think it's really possible to take a step forward into feminine independance while still keeping 17th-century chivalry in a stranglehold. On my dates, sure, I've paid in full at times. But I'm really impressed when a girl offers to pay for some of it. It shows me that they see me as person, and not as a prop-up ATM machine for Saturday nights. That and I can usually hear my wallet hug my ass in my back pocket afterwards, too.
TheDatelessWonder, you're money, man. Women ALWAYS fall for the asshole first. Why is this? All my life I've been told by my elders (those damn baby boomers) that girls mature faster than guys. Yet, in all my years, I would have to assert that perhaps that "fact" is a little out-dated? I would have to say that on one occasion or another, 95% of my female friends have told me about how they thought their ex was sooooo exciting, only to find that they were utter assholes later on down the date road. Yet I could have (and sometimes did) told them that the first time I met their date? How is it that men can spot assholes of their own kind infinitly faster than women can? Can we smell our own stench? Or perhaps is it just that women have a harder time knowing what they want out of life, much less a man? Concerning relationships, men see the lines, and usually step over them. Women can't find the lines, and don't really want to until they're in their 30's. It's a farked up world we live in, isn't it? I just consider myself lucky to have found a girl who loves paying for things as much as I do, and she's beautiful, too. Do not lose hope, my fellow Farkians!
2002-02-02 01:59:05 AM  
Yeah Code_Archeologist, you know shes cheating on you with the dog. But dont feel bad man, I've seen those things in action at the park and you really cant compete with their 200 hpm (humps per minute) type speed.
2002-02-02 01:59:42 AM  
LOL, like you were going to hit it again after the dog slobbered on it.
2002-02-02 02:01:13 AM  
Freak, Quick1: As my husband would tell you, you can look, but you damn well better not touch! ;)

I'm a recluse with a keyboard....
2002-02-02 02:02:33 AM  
Yeah... and you have to remember I was a teenager back then with out a whole lot of experience in this. I had only heard jokes about beastility until then; I had never thought people actually did it.

But any how it is time for me to go
farewell all
2002-02-02 02:02:40 AM  
Thats good to know CandyPink, dont worry they scare me too. I was once driving down this road and I see a goth kid, really pale skin, long dark hair, long black trenchcoat, I could almost swear he was floating rather than walking down the sidewalk. Scared the hell out of me.
2002-02-02 02:03:11 AM  
Freak: I think that's more or less universal. I couldn't hazard a physiological explanation (hell I can barely spell it) but it can certainly make things interesting if your partner doesn't understand it.

Candy, Shemp, Freak: the question is, how much vanilla? That stuff stains.
2002-02-02 02:03:24 AM  
Code, is there some deep, detached, non-disgusted part of you that wonders, had you not objected, at what point would she have stopped the dog?
2002-02-02 02:04:03 AM  
A tad late Alexandra, I already learned that lesson the hard way.
2002-02-02 02:09:19 AM  
Hazed_blue: To bring up totally obscure punk bands again, I'm gonna quote a very-local group from about 5 years ago in honor of you, the Quaranteens...

"Y am I such a prick?
I just wanna be your friend...
the way you think it's the end
fail to tell me why
Y you hate me so
Is it cuz I have a dick?
It's that damn Y chromosome."
2002-02-02 02:09:39 AM  
Hazed: I'm going to hazard a guess on the falling for the asshole thing. It's one of two things, either women, being more romantic than men, have more of a romantic fantasy in their head of being with a strong and slightly dangerous man, an Indiana Jones or a Steve Austin or something. Those guys attract women and they seem to usually be shallow, so all they want is the sex, not the work of a relationship, so the women get driven off after a while and the man looks for new (the new cow theory from that awful Ashley Judd movie). Either that or we guys see guys like that as assholes simply because we're jealous because they get all the women. Not sure which it is. Combination of both I think, they really are shallow but we're more than willing to see them as assholes.
2002-02-02 02:12:22 AM  
See, I learned something. I didn't know goths didn't like people who drank or got high. I pride myself on keeping an open mind musically, but I'm having a hard time with that goth stuff. The whole look seems to be screaming out for their parents to just love them a little.
2002-02-02 02:27:09 AM  
Freak: Yes, I would be at least marginally offended and definately wouldn't have laughed. Partially because I don't think it's that funny in the first place... but also because it's a sexual reference in a non-sexual environment, which is entirely inappropriate. And, as a woman in the class it would have given me the feeling that the teacher objectifies ALL women which removes the pretense of an objective professional teacher. That would be entirely disconcerting and would color my view of that teacher, the class, etc.

Yeah, all that from one little note on a slide. But, something like that speaks volumes.
2002-02-02 02:27:20 AM  
No woman wants a Steve Austin. For christssake, he looks like a giant beer-drinking baby.

I also have never dated the exciting asshole kind. Ever. Until recently I always dated the shy guys who were theoretically nice. In reality they were just waiting for a girl to boost their self-esteem enough that they could cheat on her to get some sort of warped 'revenge' on all the women who had never paid attention to them before. Hello, I WAS paying attention to you! Now I'm in a long term relationship with a guy who is definately not an asshole.
2002-02-02 02:29:59 AM  
Foodbunny: LOL! It's late, I couldn't think of another dangerous attractive romantic figure. I retrospect, I suppose Steve Austin didn't really make my point very well.
2002-02-02 02:36:17 AM  
Lol Candy, I don't think more fitting lyrics could be found. :)
You're right Grizz. I find it both intriguing and scary that men on a whole think (read: plot) about the inner workings of relationships in a more mechanical sense, while women think (read: dream) about the workings of relationships in a more romatic sense. It's like that book Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maitenance. Other than a few long-chaptered rants, I think Pirsig hit it on the nose: there's two types of minds, Classical and Romantic. Show both of them an engine. Classical dude sees the bolts, the threads, ratios of 5:7, pistons aligned, etc. Romantic dude see the stream lines on the carberator, the finished silver on the air filter, the red font of the engine class. One sees how it works, the other sees the end result, in a way. I think men tend to be more Classical, and women tend to be more Romantic. Men, (on average, can't include myself here) see what battle lies ahead, and what plan must be hatched in order to achieve the ultimate prize, ie sex. Of course, casualties of money, time, and effort are all factors in whether or not the ultimate prize will be saught after, or if a second rate surrender would be a better plan. As a result I think men end up understanding relationships in a more "mature" and intricate way than women do. Women on the other hand, tend to see the end result, the "art" involved in the relationship, the doors, the courtship, the big picture. I suppose while looking at the ultimate prize ["marry this man, he's good and bed and he pays for dinner!" ;) ], other factors, like the motivation of the man, aren't necassarily realized until it's too late. It's more of sacrificing the means to justify the end. Hence they find the assholes first! :)
I think it really boils down to the fact that no one really knows what they want until it hits them in the ass.

Goths scare me some too, heh.
2002-02-02 02:37:47 AM  
Dracula is always a good drangerous attractive romantic figure to use. Hell, he's practically the original one.
2002-02-02 02:44:41 AM  
You said Dracula and for some reason I immediately thought "Well, Hannibal Lecter is a modern kind of Dracula". You'd be susprised how many women find themselves terribly attracted to THAT character....
2002-02-02 02:45:48 AM  
wow. good thread. Reminds why I like Fark. Guess I should drop in more.

Poor Candy Definately not you though, it's just a thing that happens to guys, though they keep it a secret as best they can.

As for nice girls dating assholes, I've also noticed that a lot of outgoing but 'nice' guy tend to date biatches, because they (biatches) are more likely to flirty and overtly sexual with them, and nice guys are shy about social skills. And nice girls often go for jerks etc because they get their attention more, do all the flirting, flatter them, and so forth.
2002-02-02 02:46:44 AM  
Dracula and Hannibal Lecter, two that certainly wouldn't have come to my mind. Buy I'm a guy. I suspect what guys think women like is probably not what they really like.
2002-02-02 02:49:43 AM  
You're right, Hannibal Lecter is another one. Some women just find the idea of an incredibly dangerous guy who knows you inside and out being gentle with them incredibly romantic. It's all beast-taming and control stuff. I'm not into that kinda thing though, I'm more of the snuggle while playing video games type, which means that I'm not really very exciting.
2002-02-02 02:50:54 AM  
Yeah, Amber, this has actually been a really good, informative, witty discussion. It's so rare to find anything like this on the net any more.

Guys are usually just afraid of rejection, that's all. Actually I think that's people in general. In reality, while I've been rejected many times, in most cases, people have been nice about it. Guys especially, when we see a pretty girl, will think "what would she ever want with me" and then conjure up this scenario where we walk up and talk to her and she laughs in our face and tells us to run along. Granted, that's happened to me, but not since Junior High, I think. Then there's the opposite problem, if the lady's not digging the attention but doesn't want to hurt your feelings. Ya gotta keep your eyes open, I guess.
2002-02-02 02:51:41 AM  
Hmm. Well, if you think about it a little, both Lecter (if you read the books) and Dracula did most of what they did in their lives for the love of a woman. Or so I've heard. I think the romantics out there think "gosh, to be loved THAT much.... Oh, and I could change him." *L*
2002-02-02 02:57:00 AM  
That's why there are so many Vincent Valentine fangirls out there. He was suffering from loving Lucrecia and girls want to take her place. Of course, trying to take the place of an old flame isn't nearly as appealing in real life.
2002-02-02 02:59:50 AM  
Grizzly: Guys are usually just afraid of rejection, that's all. Actually I think that's people in general.

You farking nailed it right there. Girls, boys, men, women, whatever. That's what it comes down to.
2002-02-02 03:01:40 AM  
Vincent Valentine. The one from FF?
2002-02-02 03:02:28 AM  
Very true Ambercat. Funny how sex, in the most general of terms, causes so many problems. Heh I mean honestly, if you really, truly want to get to know someone from the inside... don't farking bring sex into the picture! Then all the sudden, your focus is on their heart, instead of their unmentionables. You have a conversation with your date, simply to get to know them, rather than to sweet talk them into bed. We all usually end up marrying our best friends anyway, right? Or at least the person that we don't undress with our eyes every ten minutes? In the end, every single one of us, just want to be loved, in the purest form of the word. That's all any of us ever want out of life, if you really boil it down. Some of us just take longer to realize it.
2002-02-02 03:04:02 AM  
Speaking of everyone being afraid of rejection, I have this half formed argument in my head that people really are all exactly the same and all this trying to devide people up by gender "men are all looking for sex... women are all looking for marriage" is a bunch of hooey. I know plenty of men looking for marriage and women looking for sex. It's just not what's portrayed in the media so we all buy into it. I honestly think we're way more alike than we are different.
2002-02-02 03:06:29 AM  
Yep, Final Fantasy 7 Vincent.

Also, there's quite a bit of FF7 fanfics that involve Vincent having a demonic penis.

Let's not forget that many cultures have women as the insastiable sexual predators. Especially in cultures that haven't been taken over by Puritans.
2002-02-02 03:12:28 AM  
Rainewalker: maybe you're right. Or maybe the distinction is between shallow people and deep people. The shallow people are concerned about the surface things, and the deep people are the ones that really want to connect with others on some less superficial level. From a male standpoint, I definitely think that young men have a greater sex drive than women, and there's a social thing going on there where men egg each other on to sexual conquest. However, I never really understood that myself because I was never like that. I think more men would be more romantically inclined if it weren't for the peer pressure.
2002-02-02 03:13:44 AM  
If I ask someone out then yes I have no problem paying with no expectations.
2002-02-02 03:17:23 AM  
In the end, every single one of us, just want to be loved, in the purest form of the word. That's all any of us ever want out of life, if you really boil it down. Some of us just take longer to realize it.


*wipes tear from eye*
2002-02-02 03:18:07 AM  
Grizz: Yes, I'm too lazy to type out your name. Anyway, even trying to differentiate between people based on "shallow/deep" seems like an arbitary label. Something like that, I think, stems from our inattention to one another. It's easier to say "oh, s/he has nothing to say" than to find out if they really do. Basically, I'm saying everyone's deep... you just have to dig a little harder to get at the depth. Which kind of supports what you're saying... kind of not.
2002-02-02 03:22:04 AM  
Candy: where does this fear of rejection stem from, I wonder. Does the cliqueishness of high school really imprint itself that heavily on our psyche? That's really the last time that I was in a situation where people would reject me without even finding out what I was about or merely because I didn't look or dress like them. But, now that I think about it, that's not really true. I've been to churches where I didn't feel like I fit in, and I've certainly had jobs where everyone was standoffish to the new guy. Where does that tendancy to group with like people and reject everyone else come from? And where can I find people that aren't like that? Heh, interesting enough, the friendliest place I've ever been is Disneyworld. I guess because people come from all over and everyone is there to have a good time, and because, since everyone is only there a short time, no cliques form. This would be interesting study for anthropologists.
2002-02-02 03:25:16 AM  
Thank you (takes a bow), as long as I can touch just one heart... oh hell who am I kidding... :)
2002-02-02 03:26:03 AM  
I wonder if people who are home schooled have less fear of rejection....
2002-02-02 03:27:54 AM  
Raine: Heh, no problem, I go by Griz IRL, but that was already taken for a farkname when I signed up. God forbid I should pick something succinct like GrizJ, eh?

Yeah, write after I posted that shallow/deep thing I realized that that's all relative too. It has more to do with common interests, but it's a little shallow of me to label someone as shallow because I think their interests are somehow beneath my dignity. But you're right, if you dig deep enough, sometimes the surface interests of cars and sports for guys and makeup and shoes for girls are just comfort zones, and there is nearly always something deep and interesting down there in just about everyone.
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