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(Eater)   "For some reason, there are people out there who find it a sensory pleasure to chew on handfuls of spud shards that jab at their gums"   (eater.com) divider line
    More: Interesting, Potato, Potato chip, potato chips, kettle chips, Taste, Diamond Foods, Lay's, Beloit, Wisconsin  
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599 clicks; posted to Food » on 16 Sep 2020 at 3:50 AM (3 days ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



18 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
3 days ago  
Here, I'll summarize this article
"My mouth is too weak to handle kettle chips. OH! Do you know what's PERFECT? Tons and tons of artificial flavors!"
 
3 days ago  
Fark user imageView Full Size


...cold, dead, greasy fingers.
 
3 days ago  
At some point in the past decade ...

Stopped reading there
 
3 days ago  
Throws Cap'n Crunch at Jenny. I bet she drinks pineapple juice without knowing the it literally breaks down flesh till it hit your stomach acid.
 
2 days ago  
Oh, a controversial view about a beloved product, designed to induce outrage for clicks!  How edgy, we should greenlight this!
 
2 days ago  
No matter the flavor of the chips, the taste nearly always smacks overwhelmingly of oil. Eating a small bagful feels like coating one's mouth in grease, almost like a salve left over to make up for all the vigorous chomping that tooth and tongue and gums had to engage in to facilitate consumption. All that work, and for what?

What the hell is this person eating? It doesn't sound anything remotely like kettle chips.
 
2 days ago  
They're not my fave, either. I'll eat them, but there are plenty of better options out there.

Food choices are just that: choices.

Make a choice, then shut up about it.
 
2 days ago  
Jalapeno is one of the few flavors that should be only kettle. Something about mixing spice with that crunch is magic
 
2 days ago  
Wait until this asshole discovers potato sticks.
 
2 days ago  

Stibium: No matter the flavor of the chips, the taste nearly always smacks overwhelmingly of oil. Eating a small bagful feels like coating one's mouth in grease, almost like a salve left over to make up for all the vigorous chomping that tooth and tongue and gums had to engage in to facilitate consumption. All that work, and for what?

What the hell is this person eating? It doesn't sound anything remotely like kettle chips.


Whatever he wants, because he got paid by the word to write that ridiculous bullshiat.
 
2 days ago  
The best pizza always burns the roof of your mouth, but you go with it, cause it's the best pizza.

/suck it
//up
///sweetheart
 
2 days ago  

FormlessOne: Stibium: No matter the flavor of the chips, the taste nearly always smacks overwhelmingly of oil. Eating a small bagful feels like coating one's mouth in grease, almost like a salve left over to make up for all the vigorous chomping that tooth and tongue and gums had to engage in to facilitate consumption. All that work, and for what?

What the hell is this person eating? It doesn't sound anything remotely like kettle chips.

Whatever he wants, because he got paid by the word to write that ridiculous bullshiat.


*she
 
2 days ago  
Spud shards?  I thought this was going to be about Potato Stix

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2 days ago  
"But the old-fashioned appeal of kettle chips belies one highly subjective truth: They are bad."

"...spud shards that jab at their gums. ...too committed to a brutality of texture to deliver a balanced gustatory experience."

"Classic thin chips ... are the gentler cousins of the kettle chip, their ethereality of form and flavor miraculously born of industrial manufacturing."

"Baked potato chips, too, are preferable to kettle chips."

-Jenny G. Zhang


jenny, please go back to editing others' writing. and even writing. but not about food.

also, if kettle chips leave your poor gums battered and bloodied and aching and screaming for the mercy of an "industrial mush" chip PLEASE stop writing about them and see your dentist! now!

and floss while you wait for your appointment. you probably already have stage one gingivitis.
 
2 days ago  
I think this person might have scurvy. They should stop eating chips and have some fruit.
 
2 days ago  

Stibium: No matter the flavor of the chips, the taste nearly always smacks overwhelmingly of oil. Eating a small bagful feels like coating one's mouth in grease, almost like a salve left over to make up for all the vigorous chomping that tooth and tongue and gums had to engage in to facilitate consumption. All that work, and for what?

What the hell is this person eating? It doesn't sound anything remotely like kettle chips.


Not that it's remotely what she was talking about, but the description DID remind me of pepperoni chips.  So, accidentally right, kinda sorta?
 
1 day ago  

luna1580: PLEASE stop writing about them and see your dentist! now!

and floss while you wait for your appointment. you probably already have stage one gingivitis.


OMG this! :)

When I read this headline yesterday I thought she was just trying to pose as a 'witty ranter' but this morning realized 'oh damn... she has serious pain issues with her mouth, she needs medical help!'
 
1 day ago  
or, maybe she's doing meth and her teeth are about to fall out.


/there's a lot of possibilities
 
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