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(The Onion)   Sometimes you're the employee and sometimes you're the customer. Subby finally gets mentioned in The Onion   (theonion.com) divider line
    More: Satire, Bread, Xpress Fresh worker Greg Sacco, limited field of options, Hamburger, Lettuce, Salad, Sliced bread, press time  
•       •       •

4819 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Sep 2020 at 12:05 PM (3 days ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



40 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
3 days ago  
i.imgflip.comView Full Size
 
3 days ago  
images7.memedroid.comView Full Size
 
3 days ago  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
3 days ago  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
3 days ago  
Ever try to get them to throw on an extra clenched fist full of black olives?

Youd think I proposed an anal three way.

Which I also did.
 
3 days ago  
Here is the founder of Scientology communing with his veggie overlords
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
3 days ago  

Call the Guy: Here is the founder of Scientology communing with his veggie overlords
[Fark user image 425x425]


Holy crap. With my bumper crop of tomatoes, I could probably power my entire house. Thanks for turning me on to that possibility.
 
3 days ago  

Call the Guy: Here is the founder of Scientology communing with his veggie overlords
[Fark user image image 425x425]


Laugh all you want but he got them to sign up for $900 worth of auditing sessions.
 
3 days ago  

Nick Nostril: Call the Guy: Here is the founder of Scientology communing with his veggie overlords
[Fark user image 425x425]

Holy crap. With my bumper crop of tomatoes, I could probably power my entire house. Thanks for turning me on to that possibility.



Seriously? THAT turned you on? I knew Fark was a weird place full of interesting characters, but Gee Whiz!
 
3 days ago  

Nick Nostril: Call the Guy: Here is the founder of Scientology communing with his veggie overlords
[Fark user image 425x425]

Holy crap. With my bumper crop of tomatoes, I could probably power my entire house. Thanks for turning me on to that possibility.


Fark is not your personal erotica site!
 
3 days ago  

dothemath: Ever try to get them to throw on an extra clenched fist full of black olives?

Youd think I proposed an anal three way.

Which I also did.


Dude, whaddaya think "black olives" is code for?
 
3 days ago  
Kind of like this Family Guy bit
Family Guy "Every Pizza Place Salad"
Youtube JgJUbmGDc6k
 
3 days ago  
So YOU'RE the one!
 
3 days ago  

fiddlehead: [Fark user image 406x304]


WTF is this? I said EXTRA PICKLES GODDAMN IT!
 
3 days ago  
They really clench their jaws when you inquire:

How come you can give me three solid inches of iceberg lettuce, but only two lousy pickle chips?
 
3 days ago  
Fark user imageView Full Size

'Excuse me - who's the sandwich artisan here? Hmmmmmmmm?'
 
3 days ago  
The article didn't mention anything about how the employee was doing all this as a personal affront to the customer, either because he's biased against Christians or he's just jealous of her personal success. She might even have to elevate the matter to management.
 
3 days ago  

fiddlehead: [Fark user image image 406x304]


Xtra pickles are tight!
 
3 days ago  

Subtonic: fiddlehead: [Fark user image 406x304]

WTF is this? I said EXTRA PICKLES GODDAMN IT!


That is extra pickles!
 
3 days ago  

Billy Liar: Dude, whaddaya think "black olives" is code for?


I dont want to get racial here.
 
3 days ago  
There are certain experiences that people should do at least once in their life. Working in a soup kitchen (or similar) is one of them.

/off to create a discussion thread on this
 
3 days ago  

dothemath: Billy Liar: Dude, whaddaya think "black olives" is code for?

I dont want to get racial here.


Dammit, man, it shouldn't be a racial issue to be able to say that black olives matter.  *inserted complicated analogy about burning houses to try for the 5,000th time to get people to understand that helping someone in trouble doesn't care why the house is burning in the first place*
 
3 days ago  

Resident Muslim: There are certain experiences that people should do at least once in their life. Working in a soup kitchen (or similar) is one of them.

/off to create a discussion thread on this


64.media.tumblr.comView Full Size
 
3 days ago  
"Subby finally gets mentioned in The Onion"

Ctrl+F "abnormally small penis"
"No Results Matching that Phrase"

Shenanigans stubby!!!!
 
3 days ago  
I'll have an art is anal sandwich, hold the black olives *wink*
 
3 days ago  

oldfarthenry: [Fark user image 453x316]
'Excuse me - who's the sandwich artisan here? Hmmmmmmmm?'


Where's your hairnets girlymans?
 
3 days ago  

SirMadness: Resident Muslim: There are certain experiences that people should do at least once in their life. Working in a soup kitchen (or similar) is one of them.

/off to create a discussion thread on this

[64.media.tumblr.com image 488x275]


Thanks. Up to 154 posts already.
Unfortunately, it's (still) TFD.
 
3 days ago  

Eightballjacket: Kind of like this Family Guy bit
[YouTube video: Family Guy "Every Pizza Place Salad"]


And, yet, the market doesn't correct THIS.
The market should be punched in the face. And no longer trusted.
WTH.
 
3 days ago  

punkwrestler: fiddlehead: [Fark user image image 406x304]

Xtra pickles are tight!


Unlike that one aunt
 
3 days ago  

Resident Muslim: There are certain experiences that people should do at least once in their life. Working in a soup kitchen (or similar) is one of them.

/off to create a discussion thread on this


Oh the joys of slumming it.
🙄
 
3 days ago  
As someone who works the line at Jersey Mike's, I'm really getting a kick...

/will dig for the ripe tomatoes
//if you're a milf
 
3 days ago  

bughunter: As someone who works the line at Jersey Mike's, I'm really getting a kick...

/will dig for the ripe tomatoes
//if you're a milf


Oh, and if you order the #14 vegetarian using a delivery service, you get the reject tomato slices... the ones from the stem end with the green cores.

/perfectly edible
//you like green, dontcha miss vegan?
 
3 days ago  

bughunter: bughunter: As someone who works the line at Jersey Mike's, I'm really getting a kick...

/will dig for the ripe tomatoes
//if you're a milf

Oh, and if you order the #14 vegetarian using a delivery service, you get the reject tomato slices... the ones from the stem end with the green cores.

/perfectly edible
//you like green, dontcha miss vegan?


Hey a Jersey Mikes is going to open soon very close to me.  Any other inside baseball??
 
3 days ago  

johnny_vegas: bughunter: bughunter: As someone who works the line at Jersey Mike's, I'm really getting a kick...

/will dig for the ripe tomatoes
//if you're a milf

Oh, and if you order the #14 vegetarian using a delivery service, you get the reject tomato slices... the ones from the stem end with the green cores.

/perfectly edible
//you like green, dontcha miss vegan?

Hey a Jersey Mikes is going to open soon very close to me.  Any other inside baseball??


Sure.

If you've never been before, ask the crew to suggest toppings for sandwiches.  Like banana peppers are very good on the 2, 5, and 13.  The cherry pepper relish is awesome with roast beef.

Speaking of... get the roast beef.  In any format.  It's great quality and roasted on site.  And the quality of the beef actually *improved* after the brief COVID related supply interruption in July.

Ask the crew about "secret" menu items.

Any cold sub is available grilled, also.  The best one to try this with is the #13 Italian.

Coupons with 4-digit codes technically never expire, despite what the coupon says.  They can also be reused if you download the app and use the coupon there to order online.

Tip your sandwich makers generously.  They don't get paid very much.

If you're gonna eat there regularly join the rewards club, it's like a frequent flyer plan.  And find out when the double points days are.
 
3 days ago  

bughunter: johnny_vegas: bughunter: bughunter: As someone who works the line at Jersey Mike's, I'm really getting a kick...

/will dig for the ripe tomatoes
//if you're a milf

Oh, and if you order the #14 vegetarian using a delivery service, you get the reject tomato slices... the ones from the stem end with the green cores.

/perfectly edible
//you like green, dontcha miss vegan?

Hey a Jersey Mikes is going to open soon very close to me.  Any other inside baseball??

Sure.

If you've never been before, ask the crew to suggest toppings for sandwiches.  Like banana peppers are very good on the 2, 5, and 13.  The cherry pepper relish is awesome with roast beef.

Speaking of... get the roast beef.  In any format.  It's great quality and roasted on site.  And the quality of the beef actually *improved* after the brief COVID related supply interruption in July.

Ask the crew about "secret" menu items.

Any cold sub is available grilled, also.  The best one to try this with is the #13 Italian.

Coupons with 4-digit codes technically never expire, despite what the coupon says.  They can also be reused if you download the app and use the coupon there to order online.

Tip your sandwich makers generously.  They don't get paid very much.

If you're gonna eat there regularly join the rewards club, it's like a frequent flyer plan.  And find out when the double points days are.


And don't forget the free birthday sub!
 
3 days ago  

bughunter: johnny_vegas: bughunter: bughunter: As someone who works the line at Jersey Mike's, I'm really getting a kick...

/will dig for the ripe tomatoes
//if you're a milf

Oh, and if you order the #14 vegetarian using a delivery service, you get the reject tomato slices... the ones from the stem end with the green cores.

/perfectly edible
//you like green, dontcha miss vegan?

Hey a Jersey Mikes is going to open soon very close to me.  Any other inside baseball??

Sure.

If you've never been before, ask the crew to suggest toppings for sandwiches.  Like banana peppers are very good on the 2, 5, and 13.  The cherry pepper relish is awesome with roast beef.

Speaking of... get the roast beef.  In any format.  It's great quality and roasted on site.  And the quality of the beef actually *improved* after the brief COVID related supply interruption in July.

Ask the crew about "secret" menu items.

Any cold sub is available grilled, also.  The best one to try this with is the #13 Italian.

Coupons with 4-digit codes technically never expire, despite what the coupon says.  They can also be reused if you download the app and use the coupon there to order online.

Tip your sandwich makers generously.  They don't get paid very much.

If you're gonna eat there regularly join the rewards club, it's like a frequent flyer plan.  And find out when the double points days are.


Thanks very much for taking the time to write all that out.  Have never been but expect to go there weekly or so.
 
3 days ago  

Mukster: Nick Nostril: Call the Guy: Here is the founder of Scientology communing with his veggie overlords
[Fark user image 425x425]

Holy crap. With my bumper crop of tomatoes, I could probably power my entire house. Thanks for turning me on to that possibility.


Seriously? THAT turned you on? I knew Fark was a weird place full of interesting characters, but Gee Whiz!


Takes one to know one!
 
3 days ago  

Resident Muslim: SirMadness: Resident Muslim: There are certain experiences that people should do at least once in their life. Working in a soup kitchen (or similar) is one of them.

/off to create a discussion thread on this

[64.media.tumblr.com image 488x275]

Thanks. Up to 154 posts already.
Unfortunately, it's (still) TFD.


Let me take a wild stab in the dark:

People are upset.
 
3 days ago  
Having worked at a Subway, I am getting a kick out of most of these replies.

Most of the employees didn't care what they put on people's sandwiches, and the franchisee really pushed using every last piece that was edible. I've seen coworkers assemble a sandwich that had limp spinach, all the mustard confined to the space of a few bites, and the only tomato they put on it was the very end pieces (minus pitting out the stem area).

And the olives, by gods, the olives. The owner was super vigilant on any shortage...in a place that doesn't limit the amount of veggies one can ask for. Three olive slices for a six-inch, six slices for the twelve-inch, and people always looked at you like you were an idiot if you tried to only put that many olives on their sandwich.
 
3 days ago  

SirMadness: Resident Muslim: SirMadness: Resident Muslim: There are certain experiences that people should do at least once in their life. Working in a soup kitchen (or similar) is one of them.

/off to create a discussion thread on this

[64.media.tumblr.com image 488x275]

Thanks. Up to 154 posts already.
Unfortunately, it's (still) TFD.

Let me take a wild stab in the dark:

People are upset.


Went much better than I've expected.
I've had discussion links that get derailed from the first or second post because of a joke.
Themes that stood out were traveling, getting in touch with nature (dolphins, whales, hiking/camping) and working difficult front-line jobs (cashiers, retail, waitstaff, etc).
 
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