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(CNN)   52% of young adults in the US are living with their parents, the highest share since the Great Depression   (cnn.com) divider line
    More: Sad, Great Depression, majority of young adults, young adults, Pew Research Center, Ethnic group, Depression, Business cycle, number of young adults  
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1862 clicks; posted to Main » and Politics » on 05 Sep 2020 at 9:35 AM (12 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

 
2020-09-05 9:44:50 AM  
41 votes:

Gramma: Get in at a reasonable time or spend the  night somewhere else.


Username checks out.
 
2020-09-05 9:45:55 AM  
32 votes:
What's wrong with living with Mother?
vignette.wikia.nocookie.netView Full Size
 
2020-09-05 4:12:31 AM  
22 votes:
48% of children in the US have their parents living with them, the highest share since the Great Depression
 
2020-09-05 9:53:20 AM  
20 votes:
We're in a depression now, and everybody but Wall Street knows it.
1929 called - they didn't say anything - just heavy breathing.
 
2020-09-05 9:52:13 AM  
19 votes:
As a Farker with his soon to be 39 year old son living with me, I'm getting a kick out of the replies.
 
2020-09-05 10:03:05 AM  
17 votes:
Alternative headline: "Millenials are killing the rental and real estate markets"
 
2020-09-05 9:53:49 AM  
17 votes:

the_celt: As a Farker with his soon to be 39 year old son living with me, I'm getting a kick out of the replies.


Are you going to give him a curfew?

/ serious not serious
 
2020-09-05 9:58:31 AM  
11 votes:
Banging the wife, getting frisky in the yard, basically *everything* sex is awkward when your mom is watching.

/unless you're into that
 
2020-09-05 10:39:56 AM  
10 votes:
I have three younger brothers. Everyone of us got out of the house the minute we could figure out a way to do it and every one of us moved pretty much as far away from my mother as was physically possible and still stay in the US. Well, except for me, I joined the Navy in the middle of my senior year on delayed entry so I could be put on a ship on the other side of the planet the minute I was done with high school with mail being the only way for my mother to hassle me.

Brother #2 left home at 17 from Mobile AL to find me in NYC.
Brother #3 left home at 17 from Naples, Italy to Long Island, NY (Step dad had a contract in Italy at the time)
Brother #4 left home at 18 from Mobile AL to Seattle WA.

We have been trying to figure out how we are going to take care of my mother for a few years now. It won't be to much longer before she cannot shop and take care of herself. None of us are willing to take her in or live with her even part time. She is so toxic that my brothers keep visits with the kids down to a few hours a couple of times a year. A couple of hours is about the limit any sane person can spend around her before you start getting the urge to push her off a roof. I personally will not be anywhere near her and do not talk to her and have not spoke to her since 1987. Anything about her has to go through one of my brothers and they get it, they take turns dealing with her bullshiat.  It is looking like we will all be chipping in to put her into a home at some point soon, my vote was raft and push her out into the North Atlantic without a paddle, but they voted against it, knowing how mean my mother is they figured she would probably survive and might make her way to Nova Scotia or Canada which would most likely start some kind of international incident.

So not to concerned about anyone in our family moving back in with mom.
 
2020-09-05 12:04:08 PM  
9 votes:
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-09-05 10:00:46 AM  
9 votes:
Yeah, but only like half that are boning their step parents.

So I've heard.
 
2020-09-05 9:56:53 AM  
8 votes:

jso2897: We're in a depression now, and everybody but Wall Street knows it.
1929 called - they didn't say anything - just heavy breathing.


I wouldn't go that far.

The 1929 and 2008 crashes had underlying major economic issues. This one is artificial and forced.

As soon as the pandemic is over, things should return to 90% normal relatively quickly. (That's what happened after the Spanish Flu.) The hard part is keeping everything together until the pandemic is over. Governments should be giving money to people so they can survive. And everyone needs to keep distant and wear their damn masks, or the pandemic will not end.

/ rant over
 
2020-09-05 1:40:55 PM  
7 votes:

Someone Else's Alt: Por que tan serioso: Someone Else's Alt: I have three younger brothers. Everyone of us got out of the house the minute we could figure out a way to do it and every one of us moved pretty much as far away from my mother as was physically possible and still stay in the US. Well, except for me, I joined the Navy in the middle of my senior year on delayed entry so I could be put on a ship on the other side of the planet the minute I was done with high school with mail being the only way for my mother to hassle me.

Brother #2 left home at 17 from Mobile AL to find me in NYC.
Brother #3 left home at 17 from Naples, Italy to Long Island, NY (Step dad had a contract in Italy at the time)
Brother #4 left home at 18 from Mobile AL to Seattle WA.

We have been trying to figure out how we are going to take care of my mother for a few years now. It won't be to much longer before she cannot shop and take care of herself. None of us are willing to take her in or live with her even part time. She is so toxic that my brothers keep visits with the kids down to a few hours a couple of times a year. A couple of hours is about the limit any sane person can spend around her before you start getting the urge to push her off a roof. I personally will not be anywhere near her and do not talk to her and have not spoke to her since 1987. Anything about her has to go through one of my brothers and they get it, they take turns dealing with her bullshiat.  It is looking like we will all be chipping in to put her into a home at some point soon, my vote was raft and push her out into the North Atlantic without a paddle, but they voted against it, knowing how mean my mother is they figured she would probably survive and might make her way to Nova Scotia or Canada which would most likely start some kind of international incident.

So not to concerned about anyone in our family moving back in with mom.

Don't hold back, SEA. This feels like your moment. Tell us. How do you REALLY feel about your mother?

Pretty sure the Fark servers do not have enough capacity for me to fully vent about our issues with my mother.

But if you are REALLY that curious, I have been carrying around the same $100 bill in my wallet since I was 15 years old. It is so I can buy a celebratory round of drinks when I get the word that she has finally died.


Fark user imageView Full Size


/I get it though. Some people are Just plain Bad.
 
2020-09-05 10:34:10 AM  
7 votes:

Gramma: tricycleracer: Gramma: bostonguy: Mugato: I dunno, I (sadly) live alone but what's wrong with living with your family?

Because your parents never stop treating you like a child. I'm almost 40, and they want to give me a curfew whenever I visit. And I still never feel like a full-fledged adult whenever I'm around them.

I'm  a bit like that. I don't want to hear the front door open at 4 am. Get in at a reasonable time or spend the  night somewhere else. And that is okay. You want to spend the night at your boyfriend's place?  Go for it.  You want to wake me  up and get  the dogs all spun up in the wee hours, NO.

Ain't no one spending the night anywhere if they all live at home.

My daughter has had friends stay over and she's stayed over at other friends' houses. They sometimes do a 'movie night' where a handful will gather in one house and watch movies all night.  (pre covid) .  If its a Friday or Saturday night, its fine. But don't keep me up half the night  on  a  goddamn Tuesday.


For them, the day movie night was at your house was the most important day of their life.  But for you, it was Tuesday.
 
2020-09-05 1:08:12 PM  
6 votes:

El_Dan: Today on Fark I learned that it is impossible to come home late without waking up everyone in the house. Parking in the driveway and quietly entering through the back door is simply not an option worth considering, instead there must be a battle over curfews.

I don't think I'd want to live with my parents for other reasons. But I worked at a video rental place in high school, often got home late, and distinctly recall being able to get inside without waking the entire house up.


Sure, but as you get older you're not as agile.  I once knew every step to take to not make the floor boards creak at my parent's house, but nearly 20 years on I'm basically the audible equivalent of a circus walking up the steps when I visit my mom.
 
2020-09-05 10:42:58 AM  
6 votes:

Commander Lysdexic: Pincy: raerae1980: stamped human bacon: raerae1980: it feels very authoritarian to me to have a curfew as an adult.

It's not a curfew, it's a courtesy. Back in the day, it was more common.

It makes sense if you have young adults in the house, not when they're 30 or 40.  Respect and courtesy goes borh ways.

The person begging for a place to live should be making 99% of the sacrifices.

Psychopaths cannot understand familial bonds of love; everything is transactional to them.


No I understand it completely. The parents are demonstrating how much they love their children by taking them back in when they are in need. I think that is very touching. Now the children need to show that same love back by showing some simple common courtesy.
 
2020-09-05 10:29:49 AM  
6 votes:

Pincy: stamped human bacon: raerae1980: it feels very authoritarian to me to have a curfew as an adult.

It's not a curfew, it's a courtesy. Back in the day, it was more common.

Agreed, if you to move back in with your parents and they are kind enough to take you in then you should be thankful enough by not being an asshole.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-09-05 9:29:41 AM  
6 votes:

Mugato: I dunno, I (sadly) live alone but what's wrong with living with your family?


Because your parents never stop treating you like a child. I'm almost 40, and they want to give me a curfew whenever I visit. And I still never feel like a full-fledged adult whenever I'm around them.
 
2020-09-05 2:29:20 PM  
5 votes:
luna1580:

encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.comView Full Size
Multigenerational housing isn't bad at all, and this is hours late, but the thing is this stat is from the US, where kids are basically driven out of their homes with sticks at 18 or seen as failures. We're the birds(above)

So the fact that so many are living at home is not really a message about an improvement or growth in human culture, but rather a dire indicator of how bad things already are economically.
 
2020-09-05 12:20:50 PM  
5 votes:

luna1580: i sorta hate to be the one to say this, but is multi-generational-housing actually BAD?

(in a pre-covid world, where killing the grandparents by breathing over dinner was never a thought. let's discuss the very IDEA.)

estados unidos in modern times pretty much invented, or at least WIDELY popularized, the idea of "living alone" apartments and that every newly married couple -OR AT LEAST that couple when they had a baby on the way- was a f*cking FAILURE if they didn't buy and move into a home all alone.

it's VERY arguable that for most of human existence on this planet people lived in multi-generational homes. or at the very least within easy walking distance of family and tribe members.

other than "supporting" the LIE that "pure capitalism" offers the entire world "endless" economic expansion, WHY should every single human now born feel a "failure" if they don't end up in a brand new house, alone, with a spouse, or with a spouse and kids?

multi-generational houses are useful. the old and the middle aged help with the very young, and then everyone can help with the very old.

no other primate on earth shuns families and tribes for "a big new house ALL MY OWN!"

maybe it's time to act like the animals we are now.


I think this is an intelligent, well laid out argument.  I agree for the most part.  However, if faced with the prospect of living full time with my mother in law or eating a farking shotgun.......
 
2020-09-05 11:32:12 AM  
5 votes:

raerae1980: Gramma: bostonguy: Mugato: I dunno, I (sadly) live alone but what's wrong with living with your family?

Because your parents never stop treating you like a child. I'm almost 40, and they want to give me a curfew whenever I visit. And I still never feel like a full-fledged adult whenever I'm around them.

I'm  a bit like that. I don't want to hear the front door open at 4 am. Get in at a reasonable time or spend the  night somewhere else. And that is okay. You want to spend the night at your boyfriend's place?  Go for it.  You want to wake me  up and get  the dogs all spun up in the wee hours, NO.

I get the dogs thing (we dont have dogs), but otherwise it feels very authoritarian to me to have a curfew as an adult.  Your house, your rules, i get that too, but....did i mention id have a hard time living with my parents again? :-)


Sometimes dad needs a good spanking.
 
2020-09-05 10:54:04 AM  
5 votes:

Someone Else's Alt: I have three younger brothers. Everyone of us got out of the house the minute we could figure out a way to do it and every one of us moved pretty much as far away from my mother as was physically possible and still stay in the US. Well, except for me, I joined the Navy in the middle of my senior year on delayed entry so I could be put on a ship on the other side of the planet the minute I was done with high school with mail being the only way for my mother to hassle me.

Brother #2 left home at 17 from Mobile AL to find me in NYC.
Brother #3 left home at 17 from Naples, Italy to Long Island, NY (Step dad had a contract in Italy at the time)
Brother #4 left home at 18 from Mobile AL to Seattle WA.

We have been trying to figure out how we are going to take care of my mother for a few years now. It won't be to much longer before she cannot shop and take care of herself. None of us are willing to take her in or live with her even part time. She is so toxic that my brothers keep visits with the kids down to a few hours a couple of times a year. A couple of hours is about the limit any sane person can spend around her before you start getting the urge to push her off a roof. I personally will not be anywhere near her and do not talk to her and have not spoke to her since 1987. Anything about her has to go through one of my brothers and they get it, they take turns dealing with her bullshiat.  It is looking like we will all be chipping in to put her into a home at some point soon, my vote was raft and push her out into the North Atlantic without a paddle, but they voted against it, knowing how mean my mother is they figured she would probably survive and might make her way to Nova Scotia or Canada which would most likely start some kind of international incident.

So not to concerned about anyone in our family moving back in with mom.


Don't hold back, SEA. This feels like your moment. Tell us. How do you REALLY feel about your mother?
 
2020-09-05 10:51:47 AM  
5 votes:

Mugato: Pr1nc3ss: My parents are both dead so I live with my bootstraps.

Yeah, sorry about that.


Better than still living with them, I guess.
 
2020-09-05 10:32:59 AM  
5 votes:

Bruscar: Gramma: bostonguy: Mugato: I dunno, I (sadly) live alone but what's wrong with living with your family?

Because your parents never stop treating you like a child. I'm almost 40, and they want to give me a curfew whenever I visit. And I still never feel like a full-fledged adult whenever I'm around them.

I'm  a bit like that. I don't want to hear the front door open at 4 am. Get in at a reasonable time or spend the  night somewhere else. And that is okay. You want to spend the night at your boyfriend's place?  Go for it.  You want to wake me  up and get  the dogs all spun up in the wee hours, NO.

You had to put up with that and more from your roommate in or just after college. If your children are adults, treat them like adults just as you did with your roommates. And buy a white noise machine and take some Melatonin.


Wow lot's of whiny entitlement showing up in this thread. If you are lucky enough to have parents who are willing to take you back in in your time of need it is you who should work around their rules.
 
2020-09-05 10:19:10 AM  
5 votes:

Bruscar: If they are not absolutely crazy people, maybe you should sit them down and talk to them.


I told them a while ago that if they continue to support Donald Trump, I will never speak to them again. We have not spoken since.
 
2020-09-05 1:55:03 PM  
4 votes:
I can't even imagine living with straight people again, let alone my relatives.
 
2020-09-05 11:00:19 AM  
4 votes:

Por que tan serioso: Someone Else's Alt: I have three younger brothers. Everyone of us got out of the house the minute we could figure out a way to do it and every one of us moved pretty much as far away from my mother as was physically possible and still stay in the US. Well, except for me, I joined the Navy in the middle of my senior year on delayed entry so I could be put on a ship on the other side of the planet the minute I was done with high school with mail being the only way for my mother to hassle me.

Brother #2 left home at 17 from Mobile AL to find me in NYC.
Brother #3 left home at 17 from Naples, Italy to Long Island, NY (Step dad had a contract in Italy at the time)
Brother #4 left home at 18 from Mobile AL to Seattle WA.

We have been trying to figure out how we are going to take care of my mother for a few years now. It won't be to much longer before she cannot shop and take care of herself. None of us are willing to take her in or live with her even part time. She is so toxic that my brothers keep visits with the kids down to a few hours a couple of times a year. A couple of hours is about the limit any sane person can spend around her before you start getting the urge to push her off a roof. I personally will not be anywhere near her and do not talk to her and have not spoke to her since 1987. Anything about her has to go through one of my brothers and they get it, they take turns dealing with her bullshiat.  It is looking like we will all be chipping in to put her into a home at some point soon, my vote was raft and push her out into the North Atlantic without a paddle, but they voted against it, knowing how mean my mother is they figured she would probably survive and might make her way to Nova Scotia or Canada which would most likely start some kind of international incident.

So not to concerned about anyone in our family moving back in with mom.

Don't hold back, SEA. This feels like your moment. Tell us. How do you REALLY feel about your mother?


Pretty sure the Fark servers do not have enough capacity for me to fully vent about our issues with my mother.

But if you are REALLY that curious, I have been carrying around the same $100 bill in my wallet since I was 15 years old. It is so I can buy a celebratory round of drinks when I get the word that she has finally died.
 
2020-09-05 10:36:22 AM  
4 votes:

Commander Lysdexic: Pincy: stamped human bacon: raerae1980: it feels very authoritarian to me to have a curfew as an adult.

It's not a curfew, it's a courtesy. Back in the day, it was more common.

Agreed, if you to move back in with your parents and they are kind enough to take you in then you should be thankful enough by not being an asshole.

[Fark user image image 850x479]


Sorry, not a boomer. Just treat people with respect instead of expecting everyone to put up with my crap, especially if they are giving me free room and board. I guess that's an outdated notion now?
 
2020-09-05 10:15:19 AM  
4 votes:
My parents are both dead so I live with my bootstraps.
 
2020-09-05 10:10:36 AM  
4 votes:

King Something: 'Murica.


Mullenials
 
2020-09-05 9:38:20 AM  
4 votes:

bostonguy: Mugato: I dunno, I (sadly) live alone but what's wrong with living with your family?

Because your parents never stop treating you like a child. I'm almost 40, and they want to give me a curfew whenever I visit. And I still never feel like a full-fledged adult whenever I'm around them.


Same here (._.)
I didnt move out until i was 26, and i still had a curfew up to the day of my wedding.    It would be very hard for me to adjust living under their roof again.
 
2020-09-05 6:20:17 AM  
4 votes:
Maybe it simply means parents are worth living with again.
There were a couple generations of parents that kids just couldnt wait to get away from.
 
2020-09-05 10:36:53 PM  
3 votes:
Wayne lives with his parents and broadcasts his show "live" from the basement of their house every Friday evening at 10:30
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-09-05 6:29:50 PM  
3 votes:
What am I saying Bush?!? Biden...
 
2020-09-05 4:10:16 PM  
3 votes:
Welcome to Biden's America biatches!

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-09-05 1:23:47 PM  
3 votes:
Billionaires aren't the problem though.
 
2020-09-05 11:04:38 AM  
3 votes:

luna1580: i sorta hate to be the one to say this, but is multi-generational-housing actually BAD?
(in a pre-covid world, where killing the grandparents by breathing over dinner was never a thought. let's discuss the very IDEA.)
estados unidos in modern times pretty much invented, or at least WIDELY popularized, the idea of "living alone" apartments and that every newly married couple -OR AT LEAST that couple when they had a baby on the way- was a f*cking FAILURE if they didn't buy and move into a home all alone.
it's VERY arguable that for most of human existence on this planet people lived in multi-generational homes. or at the very least within easy walking distance of family and tribe members.
other than "supporting" the LIE that "pure capitalism" offers the entire world "endless" economic expansion, WHY should every single human now born feel a "failure" if they don't end up in a brand new house, alone, with a spouse, or with a spouse and kids?
multi-generational houses are useful. the old and the middle aged help with the very young, and then everyone can help with the very old.
no other primate on earth shuns families and tribes for "a big new house ALL MY OWN!"
maybe it's time to act like the animals we are now.


No.There's nothing wrong with it. The change was brought about by-----wait for it, no you already know this one---------marketing and advertising. Multi-generational, smaller homes use many fewer resources. Happy, supportive, functional families who help each other out are a drain on the capitalistic system, which depends on every one of us becoming RUGGED INDIVIDUALS who are lost in a forest of a modern confusing world, with no way out except to buy more things.

My son has always lived in my house, and I let him, and you know why? He's poor. I'm poor, but I have a roof over my head. So I share it with him. It's the most sensible thing in the world. The most unreasonable thing in the world is that I would expect him to incur a shiatload more expenses, move far away from me, and start making money in some alien city so that he can be alone with all his spiffy possessions, and probably commit suicide some day, because we've been through enough already, and the last thing he needs is to go be "successful" in some place where he's completely lost.

And we think this is normal. This is "progress." This isn't shiat--this is alienation of our family and societal support systems, to support the capitalistic one. Go get yourself a condo! Move to the city, start making bank, get some stuff! We've been brainwashed into thinking this is normal, just like we've been conditioned to think that putting babies into daycare so that the parents can work all day is perfectly normal too. IT'S NOT NORMAL.

My younger friend said to me once, I miss the days of women just sitting around in the mornings, drinking coffee and gossiping and taking care of the house and stuff. (She never had any of this--she's too young. She went to college and work.) I told her, But we don't get that anymore. Women didn't want that anymore, right? We had to EMANCIPATE ourselves, stop taking money from men, get careers, survive on our own. (Not that a lot of this isn't good. It gets women out of abusive relationships, but then they usually live in poverty, because our society isn't THAT equal yet.)

Support groups? Not your family--they have their own problems, and it's usually related to money, keeping up all their appearances. Try a bunch of strangers. Friends? Who has time? And your family......well, they all moved to the city, and they're making a ton of money, and well you know.
Look at the timeline--all of these things started happening in the golden age of consumerism, which was about the 70's and 80's. In the 70s, women went to work. They used to take care of family, but that bleeds off the capitalist system, so it had to go. So suddenly, we all had to go to work. It was what we WANTED. (I remember this--I was there.)

Did we want that, or was it advertising? Or did we want STUFF, just like we were told all day long, our entire lives? Well, fark, of course we want STUFF. And here we are, with our kids completely alienated from us and parked in front of screens their entire days, where they can suck up more of that rugged individual advertising, telling them how much happier they will be when they can shake off the shackles of----whatever, it can be anything, but you have to buy your way out of it---so that they can be INDEPENDENT, like the American Way. Rugged consumers, living out that American Dream by doing nothing that makes sense for their mental or emotional health, but just their bank accounts.

But this is what we all wanted, remember? This is what you all devote your farking lives to.
 
2020-09-05 10:43:46 AM  
3 votes:

Pincy: Bruscar: Gramma: bostonguy: Mugato: I dunno, I (sadly) live alone but what's wrong with living with your family?

Because your parents never stop treating you like a child. I'm almost 40, and they want to give me a curfew whenever I visit. And I still never feel like a full-fledged adult whenever I'm around them.

I'm  a bit like that. I don't want to hear the front door open at 4 am. Get in at a reasonable time or spend the  night somewhere else. And that is okay. You want to spend the night at your boyfriend's place?  Go for it.  You want to wake me  up and get  the dogs all spun up in the wee hours, NO.

You had to put up with that and more from your roommate in or just after college. If your children are adults, treat them like adults just as you did with your roommates. And buy a white noise machine and take some Melatonin.

Wow lot's of whiny entitlement showing up in this thread. If you are lucky enough to have parents who are willing to take you back in in your time of need it is you who should work around their rules.


Dude, I am the parent. My adult kids live with me. Take your "whiny entitlement" bullshiat and shove it up your lonely ass.
 
2020-09-05 10:41:52 AM  
3 votes:

Pincy: raerae1980: stamped human bacon: raerae1980: it feels very authoritarian to me to have a curfew as an adult.

It's not a curfew, it's a courtesy. Back in the day, it was more common.

It makes sense if you have young adults in the house, not when they're 30 or 40.  Respect and courtesy goes borh ways.

The person begging for a place to live should be making 99% of the sacrifices.


Why would your own offspring need to beg for a place to live?

I suspect you are the kind of "parent" that doesn't need to worry about the adult kids moving home  -  ever.

You might want to choose and pre-fund your own in-home caregivers and nursing home though. I don't see people who had to beg their father for the basics of human survival going way extra-curricular when caring for you in your old age.
 
2020-09-05 10:41:10 AM  
3 votes:
Living with your folks...
The beginning of the end.
Drab yesterdays shutting out
beautiful tomorrows.
Hideous footsteps creaking along
the misty corridors of time,
and in those corridors I see figures.
Strange figures.
Weird figures:
Steel 186, Anaconda 74,
American Can 138.

external-content.duckduckgo.comView Full Size


/pardon me while I have a strange interlude.
 
2020-09-05 10:25:58 AM  
3 votes:

stamped human bacon: raerae1980: it feels very authoritarian to me to have a curfew as an adult.

It's not a curfew, it's a courtesy. Back in the day, it was more common.


Agreed, if you to move back in with your parents and they are kind enough to take you in then you should be thankful enough by not being an asshole.
 
2020-09-05 9:46:52 AM  
3 votes:

bostonguy: Mugato: I dunno, I (sadly) live alone but what's wrong with living with your family?

Because your parents never stop treating you like a child. I'm almost 40, and they want to give me a curfew whenever I visit. And I still never feel like a full-fledged adult whenever I'm around them.


That's why I live with older relatives who aren't my parents.  Kind of like the Duke cousins all living with Uncle Jesse, except there's only one of me.  At least I got the cool car.
 
2020-09-05 6:55:00 AM  
3 votes:
Multi-generation homes were the norm until after WWII, when a strong economy and a new breed of marketing drones invented the idea that your kid was a loser if he didn't move out and go buy a house and a car and a wife and a white picket fence, and have 3.5 kids and a cat and a dog etc... spend spend spend, buy buy buy.

Even now, the "basement dwelling loser" is a holdover from that propaganda push. Because the fact that wages have stagnated while property costs have skyrocketed is an unimportant background detail, now go spend some money you useless drain on capitalism, you. The CEO wants a newer bigger yacht.
 
2020-09-05 5:57:33 AM  
3 votes:
i sorta hate to be the one to say this, but is multi-generational-housing actually BAD?

(in a pre-covid world, where killing the grandparents by breathing over dinner was never a thought. let's discuss the very IDEA.)

estados unidos in modern times pretty much invented, or at least WIDELY popularized, the idea of "living alone" apartments and that every newly married couple -OR AT LEAST that couple when they had a baby on the way- was a f*cking FAILURE if they didn't buy and move into a home all alone.

it's VERY arguable that for most of human existence on this planet people lived in multi-generational homes. or at the very least within easy walking distance of family and tribe members.

other than "supporting" the LIE that "pure capitalism" offers the entire world "endless" economic expansion, WHY should every single human now born feel a "failure" if they don't end up in a brand new house, alone, with a spouse, or with a spouse and kids?

multi-generational houses are useful. the old and the middle aged help with the very young, and then everyone can help with the very old.

no other primate on earth shuns families and tribes for "a big new house ALL MY OWN!"

maybe it's time to act like the animals we are now.
 
2020-09-05 5:02:50 PM  
2 votes:
This is why Trump's re-election in 2020 and subsequent destruction of the American economy and political system will be a relief for me.

Why should I care about an economy and political system that doesn't cater to me? Why should I care?

/Burn it down for all I care.
 
2020-09-05 4:58:08 PM  
2 votes:
I don't want to ever live with my parents - I'd rather shoot myself in the face - but if my daughter wants to live with me when she becomes an adult, I'm fine with it. She's awesome. 

All that is to say, living with awesome people is awesome. Living with not-awesome people: not so awesome.
 
2020-09-05 4:30:35 PM  
2 votes:

luna1580: holy shiat, you live somewhere where a "three bedroom townhouse with a ground floor, upstairs, and basement" rents for $700/month, but is still developed enough to have a hospital in commuting distance? where? is it nice there?


British Columbia, Canada.
 
2020-09-05 2:36:01 PM  
2 votes:

rocket88: What's wrong with living with Mother?
[vignette.wikia.nocookie.net image 720x900]


Seymour Skinner's mother issues.
Youtube 0cmklEiZFYI
 
2020-09-05 1:54:22 PM  
2 votes:

powhound: Just yesterday overheard a conversation between two of my students. The gist of it sounds like the family of one of them is facing eviction at the end of September. I'm thinking they won't be the only ones. 😢

Our oldest daughter lives in a rent controlled apartment with her wife. They barely are scraping by and I actually WISH that they would spend a year living with either us or her wife's dad. They are welcome at either place. Independent streak and all that, but they at least have somewhere to go if things go south. Youngest daughter was turning into a basement dweller a couple years ago and we convinced her to join the Navy instead of sitting home doing nothing. When she's out in a few years I anticipate she will come back home until she gets her land legs under her.

This next several months are going to suck for many of us. And it may drag out for a while also. And we may end up in a pseudo-civil war on top of a recession/depression and the pandemic that's probably going to spike in case numbers/deaths. If Biden wins and actually is able to evict 45* he's probably going to have to spend another few trillion to dig this country out of the hole. And hopefully revamp the tax structure so the rich scum will pay their proper dues to society.


If we can get Trump elected again, maybe he can get America back to its former morals and your eldest daughter will be forced to be single which will make it easier for her to move back home.
 
2020-09-05 1:20:38 PM  
2 votes:
Just yesterday overheard a conversation between two of my students. The gist of it sounds like the family of one of them is facing eviction at the end of September. I'm thinking they won't be the only ones. 😢

Our oldest daughter lives in a rent controlled apartment with her wife. They barely are scraping by and I actually WISH that they would spend a year living with either us or her wife's dad. They are welcome at either place. Independent streak and all that, but they at least have somewhere to go if things go south. Youngest daughter was turning into a basement dweller a couple years ago and we convinced her to join the Navy instead of sitting home doing nothing. When she's out in a few years I anticipate she will come back home until she gets her land legs under her.

This next several months are going to suck for many of us. And it may drag out for a while also. And we may end up in a pseudo-civil war on top of a recession/depression and the pandemic that's probably going to spike in case numbers/deaths. If Biden wins and actually is able to evict 45* he's probably going to have to spend another few trillion to dig this country out of the hole. And hopefully revamp the tax structure so the rich scum will pay their proper dues to society.
 
2020-09-05 1:00:36 PM  
2 votes:

bloobeary: Even now, the "basement dwelling loser" is a holdover from that propaganda push. Because the fact that wages have stagnated while property costs have skyrocketed is an unimportant background detail, now go spend some money you useless drain on capitalism, you. The CEO wants a newer bigger yacht.


Thanks for the much-needed pep talk, now I feel like a basement-dwelling WINNER!
 
2020-09-05 11:51:51 AM  
2 votes:

Linux_Yes: raerae1980: bostonguy: Mugato: I dunno, I (sadly) live alone but what's wrong with living with your family?

Because your parents never stop treating you like a child. I'm almost 40, and they want to give me a curfew whenever I visit. And I still never feel like a full-fledged adult whenever I'm around them.

Same here (._.)
I didnt move out until i was 26, and i still had a curfew up to the day of my wedding.    It would be very hard for me to adjust living under their roof again.

Just be thankful they didnt insist on going on the honeymoon.   Giggle


Oh....I am grateful.  😋
 
2020-09-05 11:34:30 AM  
2 votes:

bostonguy: Mugato: I dunno, I (sadly) live alone but what's wrong with living with your family?

Because your parents never stop treating you like a child. I'm almost 40, and they want to give me a curfew whenever I visit. And I still never feel like a full-fledged adult whenever I'm around them.


Ditto. Mine are also trying to pressure and shame me into having a baby, despite everything going on...and ignoring the fact I have no interest in babies or baby daddies.

If I still lived with them, I would have thrown myself into the ocean a long time ago.
 
2020-09-05 10:49:22 AM  
2 votes:

Commander Lysdexic: Pincy: Commander Lysdexic: Pincy: stamped human bacon: raerae1980: it feels very authoritarian to me to have a curfew as an adult.

It's not a curfew, it's a courtesy. Back in the day, it was more common.

Agreed, if you to move back in with your parents and they are kind enough to take you in then you should be thankful enough by not being an asshole.

[Fark user image image 850x479]

Sorry, not a boomer. Just treat people with respect instead of expecting everyone to put up with my crap, especially if they are giving me free room and board. I guess that's an outdated notion now?

I'm sorry you have parents who are unwilling to go to any effort to help you, if you were to become homeless, without putting a myriad of conditions upon their assistance.
You appear to have been raised without much love, and I feel sorry for you.


I'm sure my parents would help me if I ever needed it. They would even let me move back in. But if I did I would try my best to minimize any disruptions to their daily routines. I understand that they have their own life and expect things in their own house to work a certain way. It's called common courtesy and respect. I didn't think it would be such a hot button issue but here we are.
 
2020-09-05 10:44:00 AM  
2 votes:

Pincy: Commander Lysdexic: Pincy: stamped human bacon: raerae1980: it feels very authoritarian to me to have a curfew as an adult.

It's not a curfew, it's a courtesy. Back in the day, it was more common.

Agreed, if you to move back in with your parents and they are kind enough to take you in then you should be thankful enough by not being an asshole.

[Fark user image image 850x479]

Sorry, not a boomer. Just treat people with respect instead of expecting everyone to put up with my crap, especially if they are giving me free room and board. I guess that's an outdated notion now?


I'm sorry you have parents who are unwilling to go to any effort to help you, if you were to become homeless, without putting a myriad of conditions upon their assistance.
You appear to have been raised without much love, and I feel sorry for you.
 
2020-09-05 10:42:04 AM  
2 votes:

stamped human bacon: raerae1980: it feels very authoritarian to me to have a curfew as an adult.

It's not a curfew, it's a courtesy. Back in the day, it was more common.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-09-05 10:38:08 AM  
2 votes:

bostonguy: Mugato: I dunno, I (sadly) live alone but what's wrong with living with your family?

Because your parents never stop treating you like a child. I'm almost 40, and they want to give me a curfew whenever I visit. And I still never feel like a full-fledged adult whenever I'm around them.


This. My mom is awesome but she cannot help but see her little boy when when I visit. It's tedious after a day or two. I was always an independent child and I am still that way as an adult.
 
2020-09-05 10:34:20 AM  
2 votes:

Pincy: raerae1980: stamped human bacon: raerae1980: it feels very authoritarian to me to have a curfew as an adult.

It's not a curfew, it's a courtesy. Back in the day, it was more common.

It makes sense if you have young adults in the house, not when they're 30 or 40.  Respect and courtesy goes borh ways.

The person begging for a place to live should be making 99% of the sacrifices.


Psychopaths cannot understand familial bonds of love; everything is transactional to them.
 
2020-09-05 10:29:34 AM  
2 votes:

raerae1980: stamped human bacon: raerae1980: it feels very authoritarian to me to have a curfew as an adult.

It's not a curfew, it's a courtesy. Back in the day, it was more common.

It makes sense if you have young adults in the house, not when they're 30 or 40.  Respect and courtesy goes borh ways.


The person begging for a place to live should be making 99% of the sacrifices.
 
2020-09-05 10:22:02 AM  
2 votes:

Gramma: bostonguy: Mugato: I dunno, I (sadly) live alone but what's wrong with living with your family?

Because your parents never stop treating you like a child. I'm almost 40, and they want to give me a curfew whenever I visit. And I still never feel like a full-fledged adult whenever I'm around them.

I'm  a bit like that. I don't want to hear the front door open at 4 am. Get in at a reasonable time or spend the  night somewhere else. And that is okay. You want to spend the night at your boyfriend's place?  Go for it.  You want to wake me  up and get  the dogs all spun up in the wee hours, NO.


You had to put up with that and more from your roommate in or just after college. If your children are adults, treat them like adults just as you did with your roommates. And buy a white noise machine and take some Melatonin.
 
2020-09-05 10:03:26 AM  
2 votes:

bostonguy: jso2897: We're in a depression now, and everybody but Wall Street knows it.
1929 called - they didn't say anything - just heavy breathing.

I wouldn't go that far.

The 1929 and 2008 crashes had underlying major economic issues. This one is artificial and forced.

As soon as the pandemic is over, things should return to 90% normal relatively quickly. (That's what happened after the Spanish Flu.) The hard part is keeping everything together until the pandemic is over. Governments should be giving money to people so they can survive. And everyone needs to keep distant and wear their damn masks, or the pandemic will not end.

/ rant over


Well, we can never really have another "great depression" - monetary policy won't allow an actual money scarcity like that  to occur. I don't agree that it is forced - I think it is fundamental, and caused by Trump's horrid tax and business policies - the pandemic is just a trigger event.
This will be structured like 2008, be worse, and last longer.

/Predictions over.
 
2020-09-05 9:50:34 AM  
2 votes:

Gramma: bostonguy: Mugato: I dunno, I (sadly) live alone but what's wrong with living with your family?

Because your parents never stop treating you like a child. I'm almost 40, and they want to give me a curfew whenever I visit. And I still never feel like a full-fledged adult whenever I'm around them.

I'm  a bit like that. I don't want to hear the front door open at 4 am. Get in at a reasonable time or spend the  night somewhere else. And that is okay. You want to spend the night at your boyfriend's place?  Go for it.  You want to wake me  up and get  the dogs all spun up in the wee hours, NO.


I get the dogs thing (we dont have dogs), but otherwise it feels very authoritarian to me to have a curfew as an adult.  Your house, your rules, i get that too, but....did i mention id have a hard time living with my parents again? :-)
 
2020-09-05 9:47:47 AM  
2 votes:

Gramma: bostonguy: Mugato: I dunno, I (sadly) live alone but what's wrong with living with your family?

Because your parents never stop treating you like a child. I'm almost 40, and they want to give me a curfew whenever I visit. And I still never feel like a full-fledged adult whenever I'm around them.

I'm  a bit like that. I don't want to hear the front door open at 4 am. Get in at a reasonable time or spend the  night somewhere else. And that is okay. You want to spend the night at your boyfriend's place?  Go for it.  You want to wake me  up and get  the dogs all spun up in the wee hours, NO.


Ain't no one spending the night anywhere if they all live at home.
 
2020-09-05 9:38:31 AM  
2 votes:
Puffy Shirt Intro- Moving Back in With Parents
Youtube BTdj-S-NhDE
 
2020-09-05 6:53:52 PM  
1 vote:

jso2897: We're in a depression now, and everybody but Wall Street knows it.
1929 called - they didn't say anything - just heavy breathing.


Plus, there's  advantages to roommates you already know. If you can work out ground rules, it goes pretty well.

/yep
//of course I also now live with idiots...
 
2020-09-05 5:31:19 PM  
1 vote:

Smackledorfer: patowen: luna1580: Smackledorfer: patowen: Smackledorfer: patowen: luna1580: i sorta hate to be the one to say this, but is multi-generational-housing actually BAD?

It was Luna, and it's in this very post string. The one in which you replied to saying it would be bad for old folks who wanted to travel. Literally the context here was about "planned" multigenerational living.


and TFA which is about the wave of unplanned co-living.

Thanks for the nice thoughts about patowen jr.  Yea sometimes it gets hard, but then I just go shiatpost and it gets a little better  ;-)
 
2020-09-05 5:18:57 PM  
1 vote:
52% of young adults in the US are living with their parents, the highest share since the Great Depression ...

What percentage of them have a Fark account?
 
2020-09-05 4:44:49 PM  
1 vote:

cherryl taggart: My kids that can stay clean and sober are welcome to stay forever.  They know they will always be my babies, no matter what.  They get that I will worry over their grooming, nutrition, cash management and if they don't like that, they are free to head out anytime.

OTOH, the kids that steal to support a habit, try to call collect from jail, traffic in controlled substances from my property all need to move and keep on going.

One of my drama llama kids regularly recruits people with tales of woe and how awful life is here.  As soon as the ally comes around, the truth is revealed and drama llama ding dong can't understand why no one stays loyal.

I'll open my home to people I barely know, and run the risk of having squatter issues.  What I won't put up with is my kid demanding to be catered to and coddled while the rest of us are scrambling to pay bills and keep our jobs.


Tough love fills as many graves as murder.
🙄
 
2020-09-05 3:58:59 PM  
1 vote:
More like 52% of parents have moved in with their kids.
 
2020-09-05 2:53:51 PM  
1 vote:

bostonguy: krinklechip: Hard to live with a family that's disowned you for being gay, or trans, or any other multitude of outdated, bigoted thinking.

The father figure can rot for how he's treated myself and my siblings.

I've mentioned elsewhere how I'm no longer speaking to my parents as long as they continue to support Donald Trump.

But for what it's worth, there are myriad other reasons as well. For one, the last time I visited them, we went to a store to buy stuff for my little brother's wedding. There was a simple photo frame on the shelf with a same-sex couple in the example photo. My father looked at it and said, "That's gross."

I said, "No, it's not." He looked at me and yelled, "Yes, it is!"

I'm just a straight guy. But even I have no tolerance for that crap.


Oh, and when you point out that Donald Trump lies and commits adultery and violates so many of the big commandments, they don't even care. Don't get me started.
 
2020-09-05 2:45:36 PM  
1 vote:

krinklechip: Hard to live with a family that's disowned you for being gay, or trans, or any other multitude of outdated, bigoted thinking.

The father figure can rot for how he's treated myself and my siblings.


I've mentioned elsewhere how I'm no longer speaking to my parents as long as they continue to support Donald Trump.

But for what it's worth, there are myriad other reasons as well. For one, the last time I visited them, we went to a store to buy stuff for my little brother's wedding. There was a simple photo frame on the shelf with a same-sex couple in the example photo. My father looked at it and said, "That's gross."

I said, "No, it's not." He looked at me and yelled, "Yes, it is!"

I'm just a straight guy. But even I have no tolerance for that crap.
 
2020-09-05 2:13:59 PM  
1 vote:

zeroman987: Busta Clown Shoes: Pincy: Commander Lysdexic: Pincy: raerae1980: stamped human bacon: raerae1980: it feels very authoritarian to me to have a curfew as an adult.

It's not a curfew, it's a courtesy. Back in the day, it was more common.

It makes sense if you have young adults in the house, not when they're 30 or 40.  Respect and courtesy goes borh ways.

The person begging for a place to live should be making 99% of the sacrifices.

Psychopaths cannot understand familial bonds of love; everything is transactional to them.

No I understand it completely. The parents are demonstrating how much they love their children by taking them back in when they are in need. I think that is very touching. Now the children need to show that same love back by showing some simple common courtesy.

You're still making it a transaction.  That they give something back.  Real love means not expecting that of them, and them loving you means they will eventually show it back to you in some form.  But not specifically right away, tit for tat, I let you move in now you owe me something type of way.  This is assuming both you and they are not a-holes or bitter at life or slobs, etc. Basic courtesy of course applies.

Real love doesn't mean letting your kids walk all over you. To take that position is the epitome of entitlement.  People are allowed to have some semblance of self respect and control over their living conditions, especially when they are the ones getting up and going to work to maintain those living conditions.

I'm sorry, but when I was a young adult, if I was coming home from the bar at 3am on weeknights and waking my folks up, I would expect them to be pissed.  It was not how they raised me - that is a selfish act and not one that shows I love them.

By the same token, if my kids want to live with me when they grow up, I am happy to have them.  I love them.  But I am raising them to treat others with respect and to be considerate of others. That means that when someone has to go to work the next day, the rest of the people living there aren't coming home late and making a ton of noise.

The point is that it runs both ways - a "curfew" is a poorly communicated way of saying "I can't afford to be woken up at 3am by drunk you, please respect me and my livelihood by refraining from disrupting the sleep I need to function."  If a child can't understand that they have some growing up to do, somewhere else.


Reminds me when I would work until 3 a.m. and my step father would kick my ass out of bed at 7 a.m..

Some adults never stopped being kids either. If he was awake, everyone was awake.
 
2020-09-05 2:08:04 PM  
1 vote:

CommonName2: powhound: Just yesterday overheard a conversation between two of my students. The gist of it sounds like the family of one of them is facing eviction at the end of September. I'm thinking they won't be the only ones. 😢

Our oldest daughter lives in a rent controlled apartment with her wife. They barely are scraping by and I actually WISH that they would spend a year living with either us or her wife's dad. They are welcome at either place. Independent streak and all that, but they at least have somewhere to go if things go south. Youngest daughter was turning into a basement dweller a couple years ago and we convinced her to join the Navy instead of sitting home doing nothing. When she's out in a few years I anticipate she will come back home until she gets her land legs under her.

This next several months are going to suck for many of us. And it may drag out for a while also. And we may end up in a pseudo-civil war on top of a recession/depression and the pandemic that's probably going to spike in case numbers/deaths. If Biden wins and actually is able to evict 45* he's probably going to have to spend another few trillion to dig this country out of the hole. And hopefully revamp the tax structure so the rich scum will pay their proper dues to society.

If we can get Trump elected again, maybe he can get America back to its former morals and your eldest daughter will be forced to be single which will make it easier for her to move back home.


Not sure if serious. I certainly hope not.
 
2020-09-05 1:32:41 PM  
1 vote:

electricjebus: As for multi-generational housing... Do you really want your entire family to hear you farking? and do you really want to hear your parents farking? It might be traditional, but we traditionally discard traditions when we can make better arrangements. The ability to afford our own housing as adults is one of those.


Fark user imageView Full Size


For what we get, we also give away. We give up our human ties when our choices expand, because we only have time for so much. We should start thinking about that.
And we'll have to--this shiat is going away. It is not sustainable, and it's about to become unthinkable.
Farking adapt. aren't we supposed to be the most smartest, adaptable creature ever? Funny way to show it--throwing away our humanity AND our biological life support system.
 
2020-09-05 1:19:44 PM  
1 vote:

Mister Peejay: keldaria: Honestly... all I can think of is how nice that would be.

No rent/mortgage payment
No utilities
Free meals
Free baby sitting (not that it's not currently free but it would almost always be there, my mother is a sweetheart)

If my wife ever divorces me, I'll be moving back in and staying until my bank account has the money to buy a house or my new Girlfriend demands I stop being a freeloader. Never could figure out why I was in such a rush to leave for my own place. My parents were awesome and I appreciate what they did for me now more than ever now that I have my daughter.

Sorry (not sorry), if you are an adult, you're going to be contributing by paying rent and utilities, and groceries, and maybe cooking every now and then.  You're not five anymore, act like it?


Listen smartass, just because I'm an adult and I act like it doesn't mean I can't look fondly back in what I had before I had responsibilities.
 
2020-09-05 1:07:23 PM  
1 vote:
My kids that can stay clean and sober are welcome to stay forever.  They know they will always be my babies, no matter what.  They get that I will worry over their grooming, nutrition, cash management and if they don't like that, they are free to head out anytime.

OTOH, the kids that steal to support a habit, try to call collect from jail, traffic in controlled substances from my property all need to move and keep on going.

One of my drama llama kids regularly recruits people with tales of woe and how awful life is here.  As soon as the ally comes around, the truth is revealed and drama llama ding dong can't understand why no one stays loyal.

I'll open my home to people I barely know, and run the risk of having squatter issues.  What I won't put up with is my kid demanding to be catered to and coddled while the rest of us are scrambling to pay bills and keep our jobs.
 
2020-09-05 12:38:52 PM  
1 vote:
I put part of the blame on the parents, kids, and "big college"


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-09-05 12:30:50 PM  
1 vote:

Pincy: Bruscar: Gramma: bostonguy: Mugato: I dunno, I (sadly) live alone but what's wrong with living with your family?

Because your parents never stop treating you like a child. I'm almost 40, and they want to give me a curfew whenever I visit. And I still never feel like a full-fledged adult whenever I'm around them.

I'm  a bit like that. I don't want to hear the front door open at 4 am. Get in at a reasonable time or spend the  night somewhere else. And that is okay. You want to spend the night at your boyfriend's place?  Go for it.  You want to wake me  up and get  the dogs all spun up in the wee hours, NO.

You had to put up with that and more from your roommate in or just after college. If your children are adults, treat them like adults just as you did with your roommates. And buy a white noise machine and take some Melatonin.

Wow lot's of whiny entitlement showing up in this thread. If you are lucky enough to have parents who are willing to take you back in in your time of need it is you who should work around their rules.


Treating adults like children.  Great way for them to not respect your "rules".

Unless if you raised assholes, if you treat them like adults you'll get the same respect back.  Its pretty simple.  If you want to treat your adult children like literal children they'll act like children and do the opposite of what you say.  Its crazy how far giving people a basic amount of respect and autonomy will go towards them respecting you back.

Have fun when you're in need of assistance and find none care enough about you to see you outside of holiday.
 
2020-09-05 12:25:03 PM  
1 vote:
Sounds like a lot of unused bootstraps to me.

/You know, someone actually thinks that.
 
2020-09-05 12:13:54 PM  
1 vote:

Z-clipped: Linux_Yes: tricycleracer: Gramma: bostonguy: Mugato: I dunno, I (sadly) live alone but what's wrong with living with your family?

Because your parents never stop treating you like a child. I'm almost 40, and they want to give me a curfew whenever I visit. And I still never feel like a full-fledged adult whenever I'm around them.

I'm  a bit like that. I don't want to hear the front door open at 4 am. Get in at a reasonable time or spend the  night somewhere else. And that is okay. You want to spend the night at your boyfriend's place?  Go for it.  You want to wake me  up and get  the dogs all spun up in the wee hours, NO.

Ain't no one spending the night anywhere if they all live at home.

Home is the place where
When you have to go there
They have to take you in.

Robert frost

The darker side of this calculus is of course the millions of younger Americans who don't have anything like a "home" to go back to because their parents have died, are sick, or can't afford a big house themselves.

Having to go live with mom and dad and be treated like a child is actually a very affluent white problem to have.  Most people who have it don't even give a thought to what it's like for the rest of us who have had to live without any kind of safety net since we were teenagers.


Thank you for saying it. Moving in with your parents is a privileged discussion and says a lot about the class you grew up in.
 
2020-09-05 12:07:25 PM  
1 vote:
Screw it. Im doing this in list form so i dont spend my day ranting.

Have some respect for this whom you live with. (Friend, spouse, grandparent, parent, kids)
Compromise.
Respect sleep time. It is a needed function.
We created an society that either has to caffiene or amphetamine themselves to 99.9% functional efficiency. Daily. Because most people do not get enough good sleep.
Your personal disagreement just reflects you figured this out and refuse to partake in the drugs.

-they tell you to leave your parents as soon as possible
-they tell you to kick your kids out 'into the real world' as soon as possible.
-they tell you that you must keep working or that you are lazy and worthless.

-all lies.

The worthlessness is to the 'economy'.

They don't want you to have a life besides working, or scared about how you will pay for things, or too tired to do anything else.

What they want is for the young generation to rent their 20's going into debts they cant easily pay off.  Why? So the next generation works for the economy instead of the economy working for them.

Slaves.

/my kids are welcome here as long as they like rent free. Just be courteous/respect each other, animals, kick in a little time with some normal domestic tasks.
 
2020-09-05 12:03:46 PM  
1 vote:

Linux_Yes: tricycleracer: Gramma: bostonguy: Mugato: I dunno, I (sadly) live alone but what's wrong with living with your family?

Because your parents never stop treating you like a child. I'm almost 40, and they want to give me a curfew whenever I visit. And I still never feel like a full-fledged adult whenever I'm around them.

I'm  a bit like that. I don't want to hear the front door open at 4 am. Get in at a reasonable time or spend the  night somewhere else. And that is okay. You want to spend the night at your boyfriend's place?  Go for it.  You want to wake me  up and get  the dogs all spun up in the wee hours, NO.

Ain't no one spending the night anywhere if they all live at home.

Home is the place where
When you have to go there
They have to take you in.

Robert frost


The darker side of this calculus is of course the millions of younger Americans who don't have anything like a "home" to go back to because their parents have died, are sick, or can't afford a big house themselves.

Having to go live with mom and dad and be treated like a child is actually a very affluent white problem to have.  Most people who have it don't even give a thought to what it's like for the rest of us who have had to live without any kind of safety net since we were teenagers.
 
2020-09-05 12:02:29 PM  
1 vote:
Oh, there are plenty of reasons for my wife and I to never even consider moving in with either set of parents.
1. Both sets hate each other, and really should be divorced. I've been waiting for my parents to get a divorce for almost 25 years, and my wife and I have a thousand dollar bet that when my BIL finds a place of his own, her parents would be divorced inside a year. They all fight constantly, even in public. I was exposed to that until I moved out, and never again.
2. Money. We are the financially stable pairing in the whole thing. My in-laws barely scrape by, and my parents have a metric load of debt.
3. Space. My in-laws live in a trailer. No room. My parents live in a 3BR/1BA house, but that third bedroom is my dad's office. No room.
4. My wife and I have an active sex life, and we don't want either side to get in the way. Back when my wife had first moved into her own apartment after a divorce, we were in the middle of sex and her cell started getting blown up. Five calls in five minutes, and no one had that number yet except family since she just got it. So she puts me on hold, so to speak, and answers thinking it's an emergency. Nope. Her mom wanted to know if she wanted the extra box of butter she got at the store.
5. Commute. From the in-laws' to where I work would be over an hour. 90 minutes from my parents.
 
2020-09-05 11:50:30 AM  
1 vote:

Bruscar: Pincy: raerae1980: stamped human bacon: raerae1980: it feels very authoritarian to me to have a curfew as an adult.

It's not a curfew, it's a courtesy. Back in the day, it was more common.

It makes sense if you have young adults in the house, not when they're 30 or 40.  Respect and courtesy goes borh ways.

The person begging for a place to live should be making 99% of the sacrifices.

Why would your own offspring need to beg for a place to live?

I suspect you are the kind of "parent" that doesn't need to worry about the adult kids moving home  -  ever.

You might want to choose and pre-fund your own in-home caregivers and nursing home though. I don't see people who had to beg their father for the basics of human survival going way extra-curricular when caring for you in your old age.


I have to work.. I get up at 6am..so I have to be in bed by 10pm.  My kids always understood that the house is quiet at 10pm and the doors get locked.  If you get home late you are sleeping in your car.  I dont need you traipsing around the house late at night, watching TV loud or wondering when I can lock up.

Kids lost their key privileges because of their klepto friends.
 
2020-09-05 11:50:26 AM  
1 vote:

Mister Peejay: luna1580: i sorta hate to be the one to say this, but is multi-generational-housing actually BAD?

(in a pre-covid world, where killing the grandparents by breathing over dinner was never a thought. let's discuss the very IDEA.)

estados unidos in modern times pretty much invented, or at least WIDELY popularized, the idea of "living alone" apartments and that every newly married couple -OR AT LEAST that couple when they had a baby on the way- was a f*cking FAILURE if they didn't buy and move into a home all alone.

it's VERY arguable that for most of human existence on this planet people lived in multi-generational homes. or at the very least within easy walking distance of family and tribe members.


Came here to kinda say this... "since the Great Depression" is kind of an odd way to put it, since before WWII, multigenerational households was the norm, not the exception.  And after WWII was a much different way of life in the US.


There's an enormous difference between people voluntarily engaging in holdover cultural traditions from old world immigration, and people being unable to live without support from their parents because wages have stagnated, education has become a lifelong financial ball-and-chain, and any recurring or semi-serious healthcare condition can bankrupt you in short order.

This country is farked.  The Boomers farked it by being selfish twats with no sense of social obligation. If the rapidly-shrinking comfortable middle class doesn't get their shiat together and stop engaging in arguments like the one you're making so they can ignore the problem, this country is going to end up a feudalistic state, and they're going to end up on the wrong side of the line.
 
2020-09-05 11:49:34 AM  
1 vote:

somedude210: raerae1980: Gramma: bostonguy: Mugato: I dunno, I (sadly) live alone but what's wrong with living with your family?

Because your parents never stop treating you like a child. I'm almost 40, and they want to give me a curfew whenever I visit. And I still never feel like a full-fledged adult whenever I'm around them.

I'm  a bit like that. I don't want to hear the front door open at 4 am. Get in at a reasonable time or spend the  night somewhere else. And that is okay. You want to spend the night at your boyfriend's place?  Go for it.  You want to wake me  up and get  the dogs all spun up in the wee hours, NO.

I get the dogs thing (we dont have dogs), but otherwise it feels very authoritarian to me to have a curfew as an adult.  Your house, your rules, i get that too, but....did i mention id have a hard time living with my parents again? :-)

To be fair, you'd also be stuck in Pennsyltucky


Ha!  Theres that, too.  My relationship with them would sour pretty quickly if we had to move back in.  I think theres too much baggage for me, BUT, the flip side---  they would LOVE for us to move back.  😕
 
2020-09-05 11:43:25 AM  
1 vote:

edmo: I know a bunch of people who are funding their kid's housing as well.


Bec murca Great!!
 
2020-09-05 11:41:27 AM  
1 vote:

jso2897: We're in a depression now, and everybody but Wall Street knows it.
1929 called - they didn't say anything - just heavy breathing.


10% at the top own 84% of the company stocks.

The rest of u r shiat outta luck in murca.
 
2020-09-05 11:30:51 AM  
1 vote:

Mugato: bostonguy: Mugato: I dunno, I (sadly) live alone but what's wrong with living with your family?

Because your parents never stop treating you like a child. I'm almost 40, and they want to give me a curfew whenever I visit. And I still never feel like a full-fledged adult whenever I'm around them.

Wow, that sucks.


What's worse is, they try to treat you like a child when you are clearly the adult in the room.
 
2020-09-05 11:15:45 AM  
1 vote:

King Something: 'Murica.


Trumps Great Murca
 
2020-09-05 11:06:02 AM  
1 vote:

Busta Clown Shoes: Pincy: Commander Lysdexic: Pincy: raerae1980: stamped human bacon: raerae1980: it feels very authoritarian to me to have a curfew as an adult.

It's not a curfew, it's a courtesy. Back in the day, it was more common.

It makes sense if you have young adults in the house, not when they're 30 or 40.  Respect and courtesy goes borh ways.

The person begging for a place to live should be making 99% of the sacrifices.

Psychopaths cannot understand familial bonds of love; everything is transactional to them.

No I understand it completely. The parents are demonstrating how much they love their children by taking them back in when they are in need. I think that is very touching. Now the children need to show that same love back by showing some simple common courtesy.

You're still making it a transaction.  That they give something back.  Real love means not expecting that of them, and them loving you means they will eventually show it back to you in some form.  But not specifically right away, tit for tat, I let you move in now you owe me something type of way.  This is assuming both you and they are not a-holes or bitter at life or slobs, etc. Basic courtesy of course applies.


Real love doesn't mean letting your kids walk all over you. To take that position is the epitome of entitlement.  People are allowed to have some semblance of self respect and control over their living conditions, especially when they are the ones getting up and going to work to maintain those living conditions.

I'm sorry, but when I was a young adult, if I was coming home from the bar at 3am on weeknights and waking my folks up, I would expect them to be pissed.  It was not how they raised me - that is a selfish act and not one that shows I love them.

By the same token, if my kids want to live with me when they grow up, I am happy to have them.  I love them.  But I am raising them to treat others with respect and to be considerate of others. That means that when someone has to go to work the next day, the rest of the people living there aren't coming home late and making a ton of noise.

The point is that it runs both ways - a "curfew" is a poorly communicated way of saying "I can't afford to be woken up at 3am by drunk you, please respect me and my livelihood by refraining from disrupting the sleep I need to function."  If a child can't understand that they have some growing up to do, somewhere else.
 
2020-09-05 10:54:28 AM  
1 vote:

Pincy: Commander Lysdexic: Pincy: raerae1980: stamped human bacon: raerae1980: it feels very authoritarian to me to have a curfew as an adult.

It's not a curfew, it's a courtesy. Back in the day, it was more common.

It makes sense if you have young adults in the house, not when they're 30 or 40.  Respect and courtesy goes borh ways.

The person begging for a place to live should be making 99% of the sacrifices.

Psychopaths cannot understand familial bonds of love; everything is transactional to them.

No I understand it completely. The parents are demonstrating how much they love their children by taking them back in when they are in need. I think that is very touching. Now the children need to show that same love back by showing some simple common courtesy.


You're still making it a transaction.  That they give something back.  Real love means not expecting that of them, and them loving you means they will eventually show it back to you in some form.  But not specifically right away, tit for tat, I let you move in now you owe me something type of way.  This is assuming both you and they are not a-holes or bitter at life or slobs, etc. Basic courtesy of course applies.
 
2020-09-05 10:32:39 AM  
1 vote:

stamped human bacon: raerae1980: it feels very authoritarian to me to have a curfew as an adult.

It's not a curfew, it's a courtesy. Back in the day, it was more common.


For me the courtesy part is letting me know when or whether I should start searching emergency rooms or initiate a search. Trying to control when other adults go out and trying to control the social lives of adults just strikes me as ... well ... controlling.
 
2020-09-05 10:16:46 AM  
1 vote:

bostonguy: Mugato: I dunno, I (sadly) live alone but what's wrong with living with your family?

Because your parents never stop treating you like a child. I'm almost 40, and they want to give me a curfew whenever I visit. And I still never feel like a full-fledged adult whenever I'm around them.


That's ridiculous. When they were 14, I told my kids, give me an idea of when I should alert the police department to search for you or start calling hospital emergency rooms and there will be no need for a curfew. They have always been good about communicating whether they will be back by 8:00 pm; out until at least 4 am; highly likely to be out all night; or highly likely to be gone for a couple of days. They both worked and started going on trips with friends when they were still in high school. They are now 20 and 21. If I didn't give them a curfew in the 9th grade, why would I do it now?

Your parents are pushing you away and making it harder for you too be there for them. Let's face it, physically, if not financially, they are far more likely to need you in the house than you are to need them in the house. If they are not absolutely crazy people, maybe you should sit them down and talk to them.
 
2020-09-05 10:13:40 AM  
1 vote:
A lot of these 'well is it so bad?' responses are just begging for either an old economy Steve meme or an 'OK, boomer' reply.

/just sayin'
//ducks
///always three
 
2020-09-05 10:09:07 AM  
1 vote:

bostonguy: LeftisRightisWrong: Alternative headline: "Millenials are killing the rental and real estate markets"

Bostonguy's rule: Whenever you read "millennials are killing" something, replace "are killing" with "can no longer afford."


Yep, I can confirm that :(
 
2020-09-05 10:04:17 AM  
1 vote:

LeftisRightisWrong: Alternative headline: "Millenials are killing the rental and real estate markets"


Bostonguy's rule: Whenever you read "millennials are killing" something, replace "are killing" with "can no longer afford."
 
2020-09-05 9:55:18 AM  
1 vote:

luna1580: i sorta hate to be the one to say this, but is multi-generational-housing actually BAD?

(in a pre-covid world, where killing the grandparents by breathing over dinner was never a thought. let's discuss the very IDEA.)

estados unidos in modern times pretty much invented, or at least WIDELY popularized, the idea of "living alone" apartments and that every newly married couple -OR AT LEAST that couple when they had a baby on the way- was a f*cking FAILURE if they didn't buy and move into a home all alone.

it's VERY arguable that for most of human existence on this planet people lived in multi-generational homes. or at the very least within easy walking distance of family and tribe members.

other than "supporting" the LIE that "pure capitalism" offers the entire world "endless" economic expansion, WHY should every single human now born feel a "failure" if they don't end up in a brand new house, alone, with a spouse, or with a spouse and kids?

multi-generational houses are useful. the old and the middle aged help with the very young, and then everyone can help with the very old.

no other primate on earth shuns families and tribes for "a big new house ALL MY OWN!"

maybe it's time to act like the animals we are now.


America Way Good, All other ways bad because they are all full of rapists and stuff.

OTOH  the family is already broken because 1/2 of US marriages end up in divorce.  Contrast that with Mexico where there is no stigma attached to  living with Mom and the divorce rate is 1/3 that of the US.  People are more inclined to make shiat work.
 
2020-09-05 4:14:50 AM  
1 vote:
'Murica.
 
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