Skip to content
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(CNN)   52% of young adults in the US are living with their parents, the highest share since the Great Depression   (cnn.com) divider line
    More: Sad, Great Depression, majority of young adults, young adults, Pew Research Center, Ethnic group, Depression, Business cycle, number of young adults  
•       •       •

1861 clicks; posted to Main » and Politics » on 05 Sep 2020 at 9:35 AM (12 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



212 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | » | Newest | Show all

 
2020-09-05 1:45:23 PM  

Petey4335: Respect sleep time. It is a needed function.
We created an society that either has to caffiene or amphetamine themselves to 99.9% functional efficiency. Daily. Because most people do not get enough good sleep.
Your personal disagreement just reflects you figured this out and refuse to partake in the drugs.


Different people have different schedules. It certainly doesn't all boil down to disagreements about amphetamine usage.

I'm guessing this portion of your post stems from a personal experience?
 
2020-09-05 1:54:22 PM  

powhound: Just yesterday overheard a conversation between two of my students. The gist of it sounds like the family of one of them is facing eviction at the end of September. I'm thinking they won't be the only ones. 😢

Our oldest daughter lives in a rent controlled apartment with her wife. They barely are scraping by and I actually WISH that they would spend a year living with either us or her wife's dad. They are welcome at either place. Independent streak and all that, but they at least have somewhere to go if things go south. Youngest daughter was turning into a basement dweller a couple years ago and we convinced her to join the Navy instead of sitting home doing nothing. When she's out in a few years I anticipate she will come back home until she gets her land legs under her.

This next several months are going to suck for many of us. And it may drag out for a while also. And we may end up in a pseudo-civil war on top of a recession/depression and the pandemic that's probably going to spike in case numbers/deaths. If Biden wins and actually is able to evict 45* he's probably going to have to spend another few trillion to dig this country out of the hole. And hopefully revamp the tax structure so the rich scum will pay their proper dues to society.


If we can get Trump elected again, maybe he can get America back to its former morals and your eldest daughter will be forced to be single which will make it easier for her to move back home.
 
2020-09-05 1:55:03 PM  
I can't even imagine living with straight people again, let alone my relatives.
 
2020-09-05 1:56:37 PM  

zeroman987: Busta Clown Shoes: Pincy: Commander Lysdexic: Pincy: raerae1980: stamped human bacon: raerae1980: it feels very authoritarian to me to have a curfew as an adult.

It's not a curfew, it's a courtesy. Back in the day, it was more common.

It makes sense if you have young adults in the house, not when they're 30 or 40.  Respect and courtesy goes borh ways.

The person begging for a place to live should be making 99% of the sacrifices.

Psychopaths cannot understand familial bonds of love; everything is transactional to them.

No I understand it completely. The parents are demonstrating how much they love their children by taking them back in when they are in need. I think that is very touching. Now the children need to show that same love back by showing some simple common courtesy.

You're still making it a transaction.  That they give something back.  Real love means not expecting that of them, and them loving you means they will eventually show it back to you in some form.  But not specifically right away, tit for tat, I let you move in now you owe me something type of way.  This is assuming both you and they are not a-holes or bitter at life or slobs, etc. Basic courtesy of course applies.

Real love doesn't mean letting your kids walk all over you. To take that position is the epitome of entitlement.  People are allowed to have some semblance of self respect and control over their living conditions, especially when they are the ones getting up and going to work to maintain those living conditions.

I'm sorry, but when I was a young adult, if I was coming home from the bar at 3am on weeknights and waking my folks up, I would expect them to be pissed.  It was not how they raised me - that is a selfish act and not one that shows I love them.

By the same token, if my kids want to live with me when they grow up, I am happy to have them.  I love them.  But I am raising them to treat others with respect and to be considerate of others. That means that when someone has to go to work the next day, the rest of the people living there aren't coming home late and making a ton of noise.

The point is that it runs both ways - a "curfew" is a poorly communicated way of saying "I can't afford to be woken up at 3am by drunk you, please respect me and my livelihood by refraining from disrupting the sleep I need to function."  If a child can't understand that they have some growing up to do, somewhere else.


This.

To expect to be treated well by loved ones you are helping isn't somehow indicative of a lack of love, nor a lack of ability to love.
 
2020-09-05 1:57:31 PM  

luna1580: i sorta hate to be the one to say this, but is multi-generational-housing actually BAD?

(in a pre-covid world, where killing the grandparents by breathing over dinner was never a thought. let's discuss the very IDEA.)

estados unidos in modern times pretty much invented, or at least WIDELY popularized, the idea of "living alone" apartments and that every newly married couple -OR AT LEAST that couple when they had a baby on the way- was a f*cking FAILURE if they didn't buy and move into a home all alone.

it's VERY arguable that for most of human existence on this planet people lived in multi-generational homes. or at the very least within easy walking distance of family and tribe members.

other than "supporting" the LIE that "pure capitalism" offers the entire world "endless" economic expansion, WHY should every single human now born feel a "failure" if they don't end up in a brand new house, alone, with a spouse, or with a spouse and kids?

multi-generational houses are useful. the old and the middle aged help with the very young, and then everyone can help with the very old.

no other primate on earth shuns families and tribes for "a big new house ALL MY OWN!"

maybe it's time to act like the animals we are now.


1. no, we don't need big ol houses for ourselves. that said, the development/building industry is a highly concentrated industry that ignores the starter home because profit. we need the choice.
2. no, no one should feel like a failure for not achieving some generic representation
3. that said, appeals to the past (tradition) are logical fallacies - let's not appeal to the past just because 'it worked'. it's entirely possible that 'it worked' was simply 'no other choice'
4. even not-capitalist economic systems provide more than enough wealth for families to live alone, if that's their preference
.
.
.
5. skipping way ahead w/o all the boring details that i've posted so many times that i can't even anymore - the whole spiel boils down to a broken socioeconomic system that is accumulating nearly all the wealth to the top, allowing the wealthiest to shoot all the albatrosses they feel like shooting, and then hanging all those dead birds on the lower half of society.

/i know you're speaking to 'let's work together', and i'm totally down with that
//what i'm not down with is sticking 3-4 generations of family back into one household for its own sake while allowing the uberwealthy to run the entire show from their multiple, massive, gated estates
///we can have *both* 'let's work together' ~and~ 'we can live separately if that's our choice' - we're on the same side wrt capitalism's failures
//yes, population growth must be on the table as well
/i don't want to be an animal. i just want to jerk off to internet porn in the peace of my tiny apartment.
 
2020-09-05 1:57:33 PM  

Smackledorfer: patowen: luna1580: i sorta hate to be the one to say this, but is multi-generational-housing actually BAD?<snip>

When you have worked your whole life for a chance to retire and travel.

Unless the retired couple is *well ng their house to fund the traveling, I see no reason why their travel interferes with multigenerational housing.

If anything, the savings created should help fund it.


*Selling their house.
 
2020-09-05 2:07:04 PM  

raerae1980: Gramma: bostonguy: Mugato: I dunno, I (sadly) live alone but what's wrong with living with your family?

Because your parents never stop treating you like a child. I'm almost 40, and they want to give me a curfew whenever I visit. And I still never feel like a full-fledged adult whenever I'm around them.

I'm  a bit like that. I don't want to hear the front door open at 4 am. Get in at a reasonable time or spend the  night somewhere else. And that is okay. You want to spend the night at your boyfriend's place?  Go for it.  You want to wake me  up and get  the dogs all spun up in the wee hours, NO.

I get the dogs thing (we dont have dogs), but otherwise it feels very authoritarian to me to have a curfew as an adult.  Your house, your rules, i get that too, but....did i mention id have a hard time living with my parents again? :-)


It can be very disconcerting when you have someone that lives under your roof who is coming and going at all hours of the night, knowing they're out partying, etc..   It can be disruptive to an otherwise quiet and calm household.

Don't like it?  Get your own place.  Otherwise, keep reasonable hours and follow the damn rules.
 
2020-09-05 2:08:04 PM  

CommonName2: powhound: Just yesterday overheard a conversation between two of my students. The gist of it sounds like the family of one of them is facing eviction at the end of September. I'm thinking they won't be the only ones. 😢

Our oldest daughter lives in a rent controlled apartment with her wife. They barely are scraping by and I actually WISH that they would spend a year living with either us or her wife's dad. They are welcome at either place. Independent streak and all that, but they at least have somewhere to go if things go south. Youngest daughter was turning into a basement dweller a couple years ago and we convinced her to join the Navy instead of sitting home doing nothing. When she's out in a few years I anticipate she will come back home until she gets her land legs under her.

This next several months are going to suck for many of us. And it may drag out for a while also. And we may end up in a pseudo-civil war on top of a recession/depression and the pandemic that's probably going to spike in case numbers/deaths. If Biden wins and actually is able to evict 45* he's probably going to have to spend another few trillion to dig this country out of the hole. And hopefully revamp the tax structure so the rich scum will pay their proper dues to society.

If we can get Trump elected again, maybe he can get America back to its former morals and your eldest daughter will be forced to be single which will make it easier for her to move back home.


Not sure if serious. I certainly hope not.
 
2020-09-05 2:10:34 PM  

Shine On You Crazy Diamond: raerae1980: Gramma: bostonguy: Mugato: I dunno, I (sadly) live alone but what's wrong with living with your family?

Because your parents never stop treating you like a child. I'm almost 40, and they want to give me a curfew whenever I visit. And I still never feel like a full-fledged adult whenever I'm around them.

I'm  a bit like that. I don't want to hear the front door open at 4 am. Get in at a reasonable time or spend the  night somewhere else. And that is okay. You want to spend the night at your boyfriend's place?  Go for it.  You want to wake me  up and get  the dogs all spun up in the wee hours, NO.

I get the dogs thing (we dont have dogs), but otherwise it feels very authoritarian to me to have a curfew as an adult.  Your house, your rules, i get that too, but....did i mention id have a hard time living with my parents again? :-)

It can be very disconcerting when you have someone that lives under your roof who is coming and going at all hours of the night, knowing they're out partying, etc..   It can be disruptive to an otherwise quiet and calm household.

Don't like it?  Get your own place.  Otherwise, keep reasonable hours and follow the damn rules.


It is entirely possible to keep unusual hours and not make a racket every time you move.  I don't know why everyone thinks that it must be either "curfew" or "drug-fueled chaos."
 
2020-09-05 2:13:59 PM  

zeroman987: Busta Clown Shoes: Pincy: Commander Lysdexic: Pincy: raerae1980: stamped human bacon: raerae1980: it feels very authoritarian to me to have a curfew as an adult.

It's not a curfew, it's a courtesy. Back in the day, it was more common.

It makes sense if you have young adults in the house, not when they're 30 or 40.  Respect and courtesy goes borh ways.

The person begging for a place to live should be making 99% of the sacrifices.

Psychopaths cannot understand familial bonds of love; everything is transactional to them.

No I understand it completely. The parents are demonstrating how much they love their children by taking them back in when they are in need. I think that is very touching. Now the children need to show that same love back by showing some simple common courtesy.

You're still making it a transaction.  That they give something back.  Real love means not expecting that of them, and them loving you means they will eventually show it back to you in some form.  But not specifically right away, tit for tat, I let you move in now you owe me something type of way.  This is assuming both you and they are not a-holes or bitter at life or slobs, etc. Basic courtesy of course applies.

Real love doesn't mean letting your kids walk all over you. To take that position is the epitome of entitlement.  People are allowed to have some semblance of self respect and control over their living conditions, especially when they are the ones getting up and going to work to maintain those living conditions.

I'm sorry, but when I was a young adult, if I was coming home from the bar at 3am on weeknights and waking my folks up, I would expect them to be pissed.  It was not how they raised me - that is a selfish act and not one that shows I love them.

By the same token, if my kids want to live with me when they grow up, I am happy to have them.  I love them.  But I am raising them to treat others with respect and to be considerate of others. That means that when someone has to go to work the next day, the rest of the people living there aren't coming home late and making a ton of noise.

The point is that it runs both ways - a "curfew" is a poorly communicated way of saying "I can't afford to be woken up at 3am by drunk you, please respect me and my livelihood by refraining from disrupting the sleep I need to function."  If a child can't understand that they have some growing up to do, somewhere else.


Reminds me when I would work until 3 a.m. and my step father would kick my ass out of bed at 7 a.m..

Some adults never stopped being kids either. If he was awake, everyone was awake.
 
2020-09-05 2:22:55 PM  

Smackledorfer: patowen: luna1580: i sorta hate to be the one to say this, but is multi-generational-housing actually BAD?<snip>

When you have worked your whole life for a chance to retire and travel.

Unless the retired couple is well ng their house to fund the traveling, I see no reason why their travel interferes with multigenerational housing.

If anything, the savings created should help fund it.


Home equity is often a big part of your life savings.  But if that home is meant to provide multi-generational housing into perpetuity then you can never plan to sell that home, buy a catamaran and explore the Pacific for a few years before you die: you better just park that dream and learn to love doing laundry instead.

And what are these "savings" you write of?  Savings for who, on what?  Are we talking about a communal bank account too?
 
2020-09-05 2:29:20 PM  
luna1580:

encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.comView Full Size
Multigenerational housing isn't bad at all, and this is hours late, but the thing is this stat is from the US, where kids are basically driven out of their homes with sticks at 18 or seen as failures. We're the birds(above)

So the fact that so many are living at home is not really a message about an improvement or growth in human culture, but rather a dire indicator of how bad things already are economically.
 
2020-09-05 2:36:01 PM  

rocket88: What's wrong with living with Mother?
[vignette.wikia.nocookie.net image 720x900]


Seymour Skinner's mother issues.
Youtube 0cmklEiZFYI
 
2020-09-05 2:39:55 PM  
Hard to live with a family that's disowned you for being gay, or trans, or any other multitude of outdated, bigoted thinking.

The father figure can rot for how he's treated myself and my siblings.
 
2020-09-05 2:40:00 PM  

keldaria: Honestly... all I can think of is how nice that would be.

No rent/mortgage payment
No utilities
Free meals
Free baby sitting (not that it's not currently free but it would almost always be there, my mother is a sweetheart)

If my wife ever divorces me, I'll be moving back in and staying until my bank account has the money to buy a house or my new Girlfriend demands I stop being a freeloader. Never could figure out why I was in such a rush to leave for my own place. My parents were awesome and I appreciate what they did for me now more than ever now that I have my daughter.


You sound like a freeloader. Probably a dem.
 
2020-09-05 2:45:36 PM  

krinklechip: Hard to live with a family that's disowned you for being gay, or trans, or any other multitude of outdated, bigoted thinking.

The father figure can rot for how he's treated myself and my siblings.


I've mentioned elsewhere how I'm no longer speaking to my parents as long as they continue to support Donald Trump.

But for what it's worth, there are myriad other reasons as well. For one, the last time I visited them, we went to a store to buy stuff for my little brother's wedding. There was a simple photo frame on the shelf with a same-sex couple in the example photo. My father looked at it and said, "That's gross."

I said, "No, it's not." He looked at me and yelled, "Yes, it is!"

I'm just a straight guy. But even I have no tolerance for that crap.
 
2020-09-05 2:45:39 PM  
At different points in my life was close to being homeless. No, not due to drugs or booze or stupid relationships. Just working class, very, very poor, like $40 bucks back in the day, would be groceries for a week or so. Could not, would not have any support from the parental units. They were well off, just extraordinarily dysfunctional. Thank God for the friends I had and have now-life is good. No real contact with most family members for the past 15-20 years.
I guess multi-generational housing is ok-but, there needs to be basic, agreed upon structures. Like, you're not the built in housecleaner, or the ever available baby sitter, or the chauffeur or the errand runner, or cook, for everyone in the household. Share the space, share the work seems to be a fair trade off.
 
2020-09-05 2:50:21 PM  

Permanent Solutions For Permanent Problems: A big reason multigenerational homes declined: an increase in people moving all over the country for work, either theirs or their spouse's.


This.  There are large chunks of the US that are depopulating, and where the population that remains is aging.  Young people are moving away because there's no work there.  Used to be, in the industrial era, that was "off the farm and into the city"; now, with deindustrialization, it's "out of the B, C, and D list cities and into the A-list cities", because the A-list places are the only ones that still have jobs for people educated to the bachelor's degree level or higher.

gameshowhost: 1. no, we don't need big ol houses for ourselves. that said, the development/building industry is a highly concentrated industry that ignores the starter home because profit. we need the choice.


A lot of the reason behind big old houses is "snob zoning".  Given a 40 acre parcel, many towns would rather have 20 homes of 2 acres each than 80 homes on a half-acre each, because schools are funded by local property taxes and the more homes you have, the more kids are in school.  So they zone for some ridiculous multi-acre minimum lot size, and of course you don't build a 1000sf home on a 2 acre lot, you build something that's 3200sf and has a 3 car garage and a tennis court and a swimming pool.
 
2020-09-05 2:53:51 PM  

bostonguy: krinklechip: Hard to live with a family that's disowned you for being gay, or trans, or any other multitude of outdated, bigoted thinking.

The father figure can rot for how he's treated myself and my siblings.

I've mentioned elsewhere how I'm no longer speaking to my parents as long as they continue to support Donald Trump.

But for what it's worth, there are myriad other reasons as well. For one, the last time I visited them, we went to a store to buy stuff for my little brother's wedding. There was a simple photo frame on the shelf with a same-sex couple in the example photo. My father looked at it and said, "That's gross."

I said, "No, it's not." He looked at me and yelled, "Yes, it is!"

I'm just a straight guy. But even I have no tolerance for that crap.


Oh, and when you point out that Donald Trump lies and commits adultery and violates so many of the big commandments, they don't even care. Don't get me started.
 
2020-09-05 3:02:10 PM  

patowen: Smackledorfer: patowen: luna1580: i sorta hate to be the one to say this, but is multi-generational-housing actually BAD?<snip>

When you have worked your whole life for a chance to retire and travel.

Unless the retired couple is well ng their house to fund the traveling, I see no reason why their travel interferes with multigenerational housing.

If anything, the savings created should help fund it.

Home equity is often a big part of your life savings.  But if that home is meant to provide multi-generational housing into perpetuity then you can never plan to sell that home, buy a catamaran and explore the Pacific for a few years before you die: you better just park that dream and learn to love doing laundry instead.

And what are these "savings" you write of?  Savings for who, on what?  Are we talking about a communal bank account too?


Is your idea of a multigenerational one in which only the eldest provide anything?

Because I don't.
 
2020-09-05 3:13:37 PM  

bostonguy: bostonguy: krinklechip: Hard to live with a family that's disowned you for being gay, or trans, or any other multitude of outdated, bigoted thinking.

The father figure can rot for how he's treated myself and my siblings.

I've mentioned elsewhere how I'm no longer speaking to my parents as long as they continue to support Donald Trump.

But for what it's worth, there are myriad other reasons as well. For one, the last time I visited them, we went to a store to buy stuff for my little brother's wedding. There was a simple photo frame on the shelf with a same-sex couple in the example photo. My father looked at it and said, "That's gross."

I said, "No, it's not." He looked at me and yelled, "Yes, it is!"

I'm just a straight guy. But even I have no tolerance for that crap.

Oh, and when you point out that Donald Trump lies and commits adultery and violates so many of the big commandments, they don't even care. Don't get me started.


Bluh. I hear you on that. Oddly, he's not for Trump and is uncaring about lgbt stuff... Unless it's his own kids, which is unfortunate for him as all three of us taste the rainbow in some way.

Just so much hate and anger. Not healthy for anyone to be around. So we dont. He lives alone and the sibs live with their mom for now. ...and i will live on the street before living with him if it ever comes to it.
 
2020-09-05 3:22:04 PM  

Smackledorfer: patowen: Smackledorfer: patowen: luna1580: i sorta hate to be the one to say this, but is multi-generational-housing actually BAD?<snip>

When you have worked your whole life for a chance to retire and travel.

Unless the retired couple is well ng their house to fund the traveling, I see no reason why their travel interferes with multigenerational housing.

If anything, the savings created should help fund it.

Home equity is often a big part of your life savings.  But if that home is meant to provide multi-generational housing into perpetuity then you can never plan to sell that home, buy a catamaran and explore the Pacific for a few years before you die: you better just park that dream and learn to love doing laundry instead.

And what are these "savings" you write of?  Savings for who, on what?  Are we talking about a communal bank account too?

Is your idea of a multigenerational one in which only the eldest provide anything?

Because I don't.


I butchered that post.

A planned multigenerational home should have all generations contributing something. Yes, that means adults in the home pay rent and do housework.

As such, a couple that raises their children to stay in the home should be more able to save for retirement and travel than one that doesn't.
 
2020-09-05 3:22:16 PM  

Smackledorfer: patowen: Smackledorfer: patowen: luna1580: i sorta hate to be the one to say this, but is multi-generational-housing actually BAD?<snip>

When you have worked your whole life for a chance to retire and travel.

Unless the retired couple is well ng their house to fund the traveling, I see no reason why their travel interferes with multigenerational housing.

If anything, the savings created should help fund it.

Home equity is often a big part of your life savings.  But if that home is meant to provide multi-generational housing into perpetuity then you can never plan to sell that home, buy a catamaran and explore the Pacific for a few years before you die: you better just park that dream and learn to love doing laundry instead.

And what are these "savings" you write of?  Savings for who, on what?  Are we talking about a communal bank account too?

Is your idea of a multigenerational one in which only the eldest provide anything?

Because I don't.


this.

why are so many farkers in this thread assuming "multigenerational" means "the eldest generation pays all the bills and taxes, cooks all the meals, does all the laundry, constantly babysits the grand kids, probably buys all the cars, and are repaid by being woken every other night by noisy farking or drunk bozos dropping pots and pans at 3am, and to top THAT all off, now they can NEVER trade in their house for a catamaran and chase THEIR own dreams!"

makes me think either you guys raised some selfish kids, or you yourselves can't ever imagine helping and respecting your own parents.

"multigenerational" can mean adult children being the main breadwinners and choosing to live with and support elders needing physical care or barely scraping by on social security and medicare. it can mean making life better for ALL the generations involved, not simply giving adult children permission to act like jobless 14 year olds again.
 
2020-09-05 3:26:08 PM  
Children, parents sand grandparents all living under the same roof has been the norm for most of human history. It has its pluses and minuses.
 
2020-09-05 3:34:53 PM  
It depends on the situation.

I live in a townhouse. A couple of years ago a registered nurse moved next door. She'd work crazy long shifts at the ER, then come home, try to get some sleep, and go back. She'd spend weekends basically recovering. Three bedroom townhouse with a ground floor, upstairs, and basement for one person that isn't home 18 hours a day.

She wound up moving in with her mom and just living in their spare room. 700 bucks a month for a place you're barely using didn't make sense. She's better off socking the money away, getting a house down-payment ready and using that.
 
2020-09-05 3:41:23 PM  

AgentKGB: It depends on the situation.

I live in a townhouse. A couple of years ago a registered nurse moved next door. She'd work crazy long shifts at the ER, then come home, try to get some sleep, and go back. She'd spend weekends basically recovering. Three bedroom townhouse with a ground floor, upstairs, and basement for one person that isn't home 18 hours a day.

She wound up moving in with her mom and just living in their spare room. 700 bucks a month for a place you're barely using didn't make sense. She's better off socking the money away, getting a house down-payment ready and using that.


holy shiat, you live somewhere where a "three bedroom townhouse with a ground floor, upstairs, and basement" rents for $700/month, but is still developed enough to have a hospital in commuting distance? where? is it nice there?
 
2020-09-05 3:47:30 PM  
I still live with my mother. We live next door to my grandmother, and we are her caretakers. We take shifts on watching her. I get my gram's house when she dies. There is literally no point for me to go buy a house or rent an apartment, when I getting a fully paid for house whenever my gram dies. In the next couple of years I may end up moving in with her to take care of her full time. We are trying to keep her independence as long as possible.
 
2020-09-05 3:47:51 PM  
It's funny this is all the kids are broke and need to move home when there's another piece to the equation which is parents getting farking old.

America is broke ya'll and retirement doesn't cover long term care requirements that go with Boomers aging out. My Dad cannot live more than a couple days without assistance at this point. So if something happens to my Mom darn right one of the kids is moving home because none of us can afford assisted living or would feel good about sending him to a covid castle.
 
2020-09-05 3:49:12 PM  

Vhale: My parents are getting of the age one of us should probably move back and take care of them. My mother is, a bit toxic. So that could be challenging. She owns her home outright and draws SS though, so certainly takes the pressure off the bills if that did happen.


Mine are in their 80s and health is trending down, so my caretaking days are not far off. But that's what we're supposed to do: our needs are taken care of when young, and we take care of the elders when the tome comes. All the middle is independence, finding our own pathways and our own lives. Ideally we learn to take care of ourselves (living fully independent) so that we're positioned better to take care of others later. Perhaps not old age, but anything that comes along such as major health issue, death of someone with dependents, or some other crisis that needs intervention.

Absolutely nothing wrong with more communal living. Nothing wrong with independent living either.
 
2020-09-05 3:58:59 PM  
More like 52% of parents have moved in with their kids.
 
2020-09-05 4:06:50 PM  

Smackledorfer: Petey4335: Respect sleep time. It is a needed function.
We created an society that either has to caffiene or amphetamine themselves to 99.9% functional efficiency. Daily. Because most people do not get enough good sleep.
Your personal disagreement just reflects you figured this out and refuse to partake in the drugs.

Different people have different schedules. It certainly doesn't all boil down to disagreements about amphetamine usage.

I'm guessing this portion of your post stems from a personal experience?


And how often to people keep filling that cup of coffee?
 
2020-09-05 4:09:07 PM  

kpaxoid: if you're still living in the house where your kids grew up, they just automatically assume that they can come back and occupy their old bedroom at any time.  And bring their own children and partner along.

So there are a number of options:

. modify the bedrooms into fitness rooms, model railroad rooms, kinky sex rooms, whatever


This is what I did after my daughter moved out. I carved out a one-bedroom apartment from the three unused bedrooms on the one side of the main level (her former domain) by converting the biggest bedroom into a living room and the smallest one into a kitchen.

Once I finished the project, she actually floated the idea of her and her boyfriend renting it from me, but I declined, since she was more than capable of renting pretty much any old where, and having come from a family of multi-generational living (on my dad's side), I knew it wasn't nearly as rosy as some like to portray it.
 
2020-09-05 4:10:16 PM  
Welcome to Biden's America biatches!

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-09-05 4:14:07 PM  

Petey4335: Smackledorfer: Petey4335: Respect sleep time. It is a needed function.
We created an society that either has to caffiene or amphetamine themselves to 99.9% functional efficiency. Daily. Because most people do not get enough good sleep.
Your personal disagreement just reflects you figured this out and refuse to partake in the drugs.

Different people have different schedules. It certainly doesn't all boil down to disagreements about amphetamine usage.

I'm guessing this portion of your post stems from a personal experience?

And how often to people keep filling that cup of coffee?


I drink about two cups a day. Less on weekends, an extra on long days.

Any sleep schedule issues I have with housemates stem from working third shift.
 
2020-09-05 4:30:35 PM  

luna1580: holy shiat, you live somewhere where a "three bedroom townhouse with a ground floor, upstairs, and basement" rents for $700/month, but is still developed enough to have a hospital in commuting distance? where? is it nice there?


British Columbia, Canada.
 
2020-09-05 4:37:38 PM  

Smackledorfer: Petey4335: Smackledorfer: Petey4335: Respect sleep time. It is a needed function.
We created an society that either has to caffiene or amphetamine themselves to 99.9% functional efficiency. Daily. Because most people do not get enough good sleep.
Your personal disagreement just reflects you figured this out and refuse to partake in the drugs.

Different people have different schedules. It certainly doesn't all boil down to disagreements about amphetamine usage.

I'm guessing this portion of your post stems from a personal experience?

And how often to people keep filling that cup of coffee?

I drink about two cups a day. Less on weekends, an extra on long days.

Any sleep schedule issues I have with housemates stem from working third shift.


My point being caffeine should be a choice, not a requirement to keep going.
 
2020-09-05 4:37:50 PM  
And i drink it all the time.
 
2020-09-05 4:44:49 PM  

cherryl taggart: My kids that can stay clean and sober are welcome to stay forever.  They know they will always be my babies, no matter what.  They get that I will worry over their grooming, nutrition, cash management and if they don't like that, they are free to head out anytime.

OTOH, the kids that steal to support a habit, try to call collect from jail, traffic in controlled substances from my property all need to move and keep on going.

One of my drama llama kids regularly recruits people with tales of woe and how awful life is here.  As soon as the ally comes around, the truth is revealed and drama llama ding dong can't understand why no one stays loyal.

I'll open my home to people I barely know, and run the risk of having squatter issues.  What I won't put up with is my kid demanding to be catered to and coddled while the rest of us are scrambling to pay bills and keep our jobs.


Tough love fills as many graves as murder.
🙄
 
2020-09-05 4:58:08 PM  
I don't want to ever live with my parents - I'd rather shoot myself in the face - but if my daughter wants to live with me when she becomes an adult, I'm fine with it. She's awesome. 

All that is to say, living with awesome people is awesome. Living with not-awesome people: not so awesome.
 
2020-09-05 4:59:55 PM  

luna1580: Smackledorfer: patowen: Smackledorfer: patowen: luna1580: i sorta hate to be the one to say this, but is multi-generational-housing actually BAD?<snip>

"multigenerational" can mean adult children being the main breadwinners and choosing to live with and support elders needing physical care or barely scraping by on social security and medicare. it can mean making life better for ALL the generations involved, not simply giving adult children permission to act like jobless 14 year olds again.


Somewhere back in this thread someone referred to "planned multigenerational housing".  That actually sounds great.  I think it's the "unplanned" version that causes trouble. 

Part of my (admittedly bad) attitude is that I'm forced into an unplanned housing situation to care for my adult autistic son.  He contributes his disability benefits, and sadly also their disadvantages.  We dont have a big extended family, so I'm the only thing keeping him from state provided housing.  I could never do that to him, so multi-generational it is and we are lucky to be able to do it.

/will somehow make it to Tonga
 
2020-09-05 5:02:34 PM  

waxbeans: cherryl taggart: My kids that can stay clean and sober are welcome to stay forever.  They know they will always be my babies, no matter what.  They get that I will worry over their grooming, nutrition, cash management and if they don't like that, they are free to head out anytime.

OTOH, the kids that steal to support a habit, try to call collect from jail, traffic in controlled substances from my property all need to move and keep on going.

One of my drama llama kids regularly recruits people with tales of woe and how awful life is here.  As soon as the ally comes around, the truth is revealed and drama llama ding dong can't understand why no one stays loyal.

I'll open my home to people I barely know, and run the risk of having squatter issues.  What I won't put up with is my kid demanding to be catered to and coddled while the rest of us are scrambling to pay bills and keep our jobs.

Tough love fills as many graves as murder.
🙄


When you want someone or something permanently out of your life it's called hate. Ms taggart here clearly and wisely hates chronic deadbeats.
 
2020-09-05 5:02:50 PM  
This is why Trump's re-election in 2020 and subsequent destruction of the American economy and political system will be a relief for me.

Why should I care about an economy and political system that doesn't cater to me? Why should I care?

/Burn it down for all I care.
 
2020-09-05 5:04:43 PM  

patowen: luna1580: Smackledorfer: patowen: Smackledorfer: patowen: luna1580: i sorta hate to be the one to say this, but is multi-generational-housing actually BAD?<snip>

"multigenerational" can mean adult children being the main breadwinners and choosing to live with and support elders needing physical care or barely scraping by on social security and medicare. it can mean making life better for ALL the generations involved, not simply giving adult children permission to act like jobless 14 year olds again.

Somewhere back in this thread someone referred to "planned multigenerational housing".  That actually sounds great.  I think it's the "unplanned" version that causes trouble. 

Part of my (admittedly bad) attitude is that I'm forced into an unplanned housing situation to care for my adult autistic son.  He contributes his disability benefits, and sadly also their disadvantages.  We dont have a big extended family, so I'm the only thing keeping him from state provided housing.  I could never do that to him, so multi-generational it is and we are lucky to be able to do it.

/will somehow make it to Tonga


Somewhere back in this thread?

It was Luna, and it's in this very post string. The one in which you replied to saying it would be bad for old folks who wanted to travel. Literally the context here was about "planned" multigenerational living.

:)

I can only imagine the difficulty of having an autistic child who you knew could never care for themselves.
 
2020-09-05 5:10:05 PM  

geekbikerskum: Permanent Solutions For Permanent Problems: A big reason multigenerational homes declined: an increase in people moving all over the country for work, either theirs or their spouse's.

This.  There are large chunks of the US that are depopulating, and where the population that remains is aging.  Young people are moving away because there's no work there.  Used to be, in the industrial era, that was "off the farm and into the city"; now, with deindustrialization, it's "out of the B, C, and D list cities and into the A-list cities", because the A-list places are the only ones that still have jobs for people educated to the bachelor's degree level or higher.

gameshowhost: 1. no, we don't need big ol houses for ourselves. that said, the development/building industry is a highly concentrated industry that ignores the starter home because profit. we need the choice.

A lot of the reason behind big old houses is "snob zoning".  Given a 40 acre parcel, many towns would rather have 20 homes of 2 acres each than 80 homes on a half-acre each, because schools are funded by local property taxes and the more homes you have, the more kids are in school.  So they zone for some ridiculous multi-acre minimum lot size, and of course you don't build a 1000sf home on a 2 acre lot, you build something that's 3200sf and has a 3 car garage and a tennis court and a swimming pool.


3200 is a bit small for what you are describing unless you aren't counting a basement.
 
2020-09-05 5:18:57 PM  
52% of young adults in the US are living with their parents, the highest share since the Great Depression ...

What percentage of them have a Fark account?
 
2020-09-05 5:31:19 PM  

Smackledorfer: patowen: luna1580: Smackledorfer: patowen: Smackledorfer: patowen: luna1580: i sorta hate to be the one to say this, but is multi-generational-housing actually BAD?

It was Luna, and it's in this very post string. The one in which you replied to saying it would be bad for old folks who wanted to travel. Literally the context here was about "planned" multigenerational living.


and TFA which is about the wave of unplanned co-living.

Thanks for the nice thoughts about patowen jr.  Yea sometimes it gets hard, but then I just go shiatpost and it gets a little better  ;-)
 
2020-09-05 6:09:26 PM  

Bruscar: Gramma: bostonguy: Mugato: I dunno, I (sadly) live alone but what's wrong with living with your family?

Because your parents never stop treating you like a child. I'm almost 40, and they want to give me a curfew whenever I visit. And I still never feel like a full-fledged adult whenever I'm around them.

I'm  a bit like that. I don't want to hear the front door open at 4 am. Get in at a reasonable time or spend the  night somewhere else. And that is okay. You want to spend the night at your boyfriend's place?  Go for it.  You want to wake me  up and get  the dogs all spun up in the wee hours, NO.

You had to put up with that and more from your roommate in or just after college. If your children are adults, treat them like adults just as you did with your roommates. And buy a white noise machine and take some Melatonin.


i have never had a  roommate.
 
2020-09-05 6:18:04 PM  

luna1580: i sorta hate to be the one to say this, but is multi-generational-housing actually BAD?


It's not bad if it's a voluntary option.
It is bad if the economy is so f'ked that it's either bunk up or be on the street.
 
2020-09-05 6:24:47 PM  

Smackledorfer: patowen: Smackledorfer: patowen: luna1580: i sorta hate to be the one to say this, but is multi-generational-housing actually BAD?<snip>

When you have worked your whole life for a chance to retire and travel.

Unless the retired couple is well ng their house to fund the traveling, I see no reason why their travel interferes with multigenerational housing.

If anything, the savings created should help fund it.

Home equity is often a big part of your life savings.  But if that home is meant to provide multi-generational housing into perpetuity then you can never plan to sell that home, buy a catamaran and explore the Pacific for a few years before you die: you better just park that dream and learn to love doing laundry instead.

And what are these "savings" you write of?  Savings for who, on what?  Are we talking about a communal bank account too?

Is your idea of a multigenerational one in which only the eldest provide anything?

Because I don't.


Next week my ancient mom will be moving in with us. She gets a pittance from social security. Not enough to cover her own food and medicine. So I'll be providing the funds. My daughter will be doing a lot of the work involved. And hopefully we will all adjust ok to the addition to the household.  The house is only 900 sq ft so having 3 generations of women at once in it will be a challenge.
 
2020-09-05 6:29:20 PM  

bostonguy: jso2897: We're in a depression now, and everybody but Wall Street knows it.
1929 called - they didn't say anything - just heavy breathing.

I wouldn't go that far.

The 1929 and 2008 crashes had underlying major economic issues. This one is artificial and forced.

As soon as the pandemic is over, things should return to 90% normal relatively quickly. (That's what happened after the Spanish Flu.) The hard part is keeping everything together until the pandemic is over. Governments should be giving money to people so they can survive. And everyone needs to keep distant and wear their damn masks, or the pandemic will not end.

/ rant over


You are dead wrong. Bush will have to keep pumping cash into private businesses like tRump has or the system will collapse. 0% interest rates and producing more cash than we ever have on a system not based on gold and silver is a disaster waiting to happen.
 
Displayed 50 of 212 comments


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | » | Newest | Show all


View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking





On Twitter



  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.