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(CNN)   52% of young adults in the US are living with their parents, the highest share since the Great Depression   (cnn.com) divider line
    More: Sad, Great Depression, majority of young adults, young adults, Pew Research Center, Ethnic group, Depression, Business cycle, number of young adults  
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1863 clicks; posted to Main » and Politics » on 05 Sep 2020 at 9:35 AM (12 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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2020-09-05 11:30:51 AM  

Mugato: bostonguy: Mugato: I dunno, I (sadly) live alone but what's wrong with living with your family?

Because your parents never stop treating you like a child. I'm almost 40, and they want to give me a curfew whenever I visit. And I still never feel like a full-fledged adult whenever I'm around them.

Wow, that sucks.


What's worse is, they try to treat you like a child when you are clearly the adult in the room.
 
2020-09-05 11:32:12 AM  

raerae1980: Gramma: bostonguy: Mugato: I dunno, I (sadly) live alone but what's wrong with living with your family?

Because your parents never stop treating you like a child. I'm almost 40, and they want to give me a curfew whenever I visit. And I still never feel like a full-fledged adult whenever I'm around them.

I'm  a bit like that. I don't want to hear the front door open at 4 am. Get in at a reasonable time or spend the  night somewhere else. And that is okay. You want to spend the night at your boyfriend's place?  Go for it.  You want to wake me  up and get  the dogs all spun up in the wee hours, NO.

I get the dogs thing (we dont have dogs), but otherwise it feels very authoritarian to me to have a curfew as an adult.  Your house, your rules, i get that too, but....did i mention id have a hard time living with my parents again? :-)


Sometimes dad needs a good spanking.
 
2020-09-05 11:34:30 AM  

bostonguy: Mugato: I dunno, I (sadly) live alone but what's wrong with living with your family?

Because your parents never stop treating you like a child. I'm almost 40, and they want to give me a curfew whenever I visit. And I still never feel like a full-fledged adult whenever I'm around them.


Ditto. Mine are also trying to pressure and shame me into having a baby, despite everything going on...and ignoring the fact I have no interest in babies or baby daddies.

If I still lived with them, I would have thrown myself into the ocean a long time ago.
 
2020-09-05 11:41:27 AM  

jso2897: We're in a depression now, and everybody but Wall Street knows it.
1929 called - they didn't say anything - just heavy breathing.


10% at the top own 84% of the company stocks.

The rest of u r shiat outta luck in murca.
 
2020-09-05 11:43:23 AM  

luna1580: i sorta hate to be the one to say this, but is multi-generational-housing actually BAD?

(in a pre-covid world, where killing the grandparents by breathing over dinner was never a thought. let's discuss the very IDEA.)

estados unidos in modern times pretty much invented, or at least WIDELY popularized, the idea of "living alone" apartments and that every newly married couple -OR AT LEAST that couple when they had a baby on the way- was a f*cking FAILURE if they didn't buy and move into a home all alone.

it's VERY arguable that for most of human existence on this planet people lived in multi-generational homes. or at the very least within easy walking distance of family and tribe members.

other than "supporting" the LIE that "pure capitalism" offers the entire world "endless" economic expansion, WHY should every single human now born feel a "failure" if they don't end up in a brand new house, alone, with a spouse, or with a spouse and kids?

multi-generational houses are useful. the old and the middle aged help with the very young, and then everyone can help with the very old.

no other primate on earth shuns families and tribes for "a big new house ALL MY OWN!"

maybe it's time to act like the animals we are now.


If you are alone with a spouse and kids, maybe the problem is in the ceiling to floor mirror that you bought down at the GoodWill while you were out shopping for some retro clothes.
 
2020-09-05 11:43:25 AM  

edmo: I know a bunch of people who are funding their kid's housing as well.


Bec murca Great!!
 
2020-09-05 11:45:53 AM  

KarmicDisaster: jso2897: should be giving money to people so they can survive. And everyone needs to keep distant and wear their dam

Well, we can never really have another "great depression" - monetary policy won't allow an actual money scarcity like that  to occur. I don't agree that it is forced - I think it is fundamental, and caused by Trump's horrid tax and business policies - the pandemic is just a trigger event.
This will be structured like 2008, be worse, and last longer.

/Predictions over.

Well, maybe. But. The velocity of money is WAY down. There is enough money (the 0.1% and corporations are holding most of it), but it isn't moving around at all. Looks like we might be going to find out if you can have a depression where there is a whole lot of money, but 99% of people don't have enough to spend.


Oh, that we can. I just don't think we'll get deflation like in the depression, where a steak dinner is a quarter and mils start circulating in poorer areas.
I actually found them on my grandad's farm in E Texas, back in the fifties. They were real.
 
2020-09-05 11:47:56 AM  

bloobeary: The CEO wants a newer bigger yacht.


Goddamned right.   Can name a few companies that are getting record profits (from business generated by COVID), but all employees took a pay cut due to the current 'COVID emergency' and headcount is being squeezed.
 
2020-09-05 11:48:03 AM  

Magnus: luna1580: i sorta hate to be the one to say this, but is multi-generational-housing actually BAD?

(in a pre-covid world, where killing the grandparents by breathing over dinner was never a thought. let's discuss the very IDEA.)

estados unidos in modern times pretty much invented, or at least WIDELY popularized, the idea of "living alone" apartments and that every newly married couple -OR AT LEAST that couple when they had a baby on the way- was a f*cking FAILURE if they didn't buy and move into a home all alone.

it's VERY arguable that for most of human existence on this planet people lived in multi-generational homes. or at the very least within easy walking distance of family and tribe members.

other than "supporting" the LIE that "pure capitalism" offers the entire world "endless" economic expansion, WHY should every single human now born feel a "failure" if they don't end up in a brand new house, alone, with a spouse, or with a spouse and kids?

multi-generational houses are useful. the old and the middle aged help with the very young, and then everyone can help with the very old.

no other primate on earth shuns families and tribes for "a big new house ALL MY OWN!"

maybe it's time to act like the animals we are now.

If you are alone with a spouse and kids, maybe the problem is in the ceiling to floor mirror that you bought down at the GoodWill while you were out shopping for some retro clothes.


Aggghhggg!!!!  Skeet skeet

Mom downstaires:  did you say something todd??
 
2020-09-05 11:49:34 AM  

somedude210: raerae1980: Gramma: bostonguy: Mugato: I dunno, I (sadly) live alone but what's wrong with living with your family?

Because your parents never stop treating you like a child. I'm almost 40, and they want to give me a curfew whenever I visit. And I still never feel like a full-fledged adult whenever I'm around them.

I'm  a bit like that. I don't want to hear the front door open at 4 am. Get in at a reasonable time or spend the  night somewhere else. And that is okay. You want to spend the night at your boyfriend's place?  Go for it.  You want to wake me  up and get  the dogs all spun up in the wee hours, NO.

I get the dogs thing (we dont have dogs), but otherwise it feels very authoritarian to me to have a curfew as an adult.  Your house, your rules, i get that too, but....did i mention id have a hard time living with my parents again? :-)

To be fair, you'd also be stuck in Pennsyltucky


Ha!  Theres that, too.  My relationship with them would sour pretty quickly if we had to move back in.  I think theres too much baggage for me, BUT, the flip side---  they would LOVE for us to move back.  😕
 
2020-09-05 11:50:26 AM  

Mister Peejay: luna1580: i sorta hate to be the one to say this, but is multi-generational-housing actually BAD?

(in a pre-covid world, where killing the grandparents by breathing over dinner was never a thought. let's discuss the very IDEA.)

estados unidos in modern times pretty much invented, or at least WIDELY popularized, the idea of "living alone" apartments and that every newly married couple -OR AT LEAST that couple when they had a baby on the way- was a f*cking FAILURE if they didn't buy and move into a home all alone.

it's VERY arguable that for most of human existence on this planet people lived in multi-generational homes. or at the very least within easy walking distance of family and tribe members.


Came here to kinda say this... "since the Great Depression" is kind of an odd way to put it, since before WWII, multigenerational households was the norm, not the exception.  And after WWII was a much different way of life in the US.


There's an enormous difference between people voluntarily engaging in holdover cultural traditions from old world immigration, and people being unable to live without support from their parents because wages have stagnated, education has become a lifelong financial ball-and-chain, and any recurring or semi-serious healthcare condition can bankrupt you in short order.

This country is farked.  The Boomers farked it by being selfish twats with no sense of social obligation. If the rapidly-shrinking comfortable middle class doesn't get their shiat together and stop engaging in arguments like the one you're making so they can ignore the problem, this country is going to end up a feudalistic state, and they're going to end up on the wrong side of the line.
 
2020-09-05 11:50:30 AM  

Bruscar: Pincy: raerae1980: stamped human bacon: raerae1980: it feels very authoritarian to me to have a curfew as an adult.

It's not a curfew, it's a courtesy. Back in the day, it was more common.

It makes sense if you have young adults in the house, not when they're 30 or 40.  Respect and courtesy goes borh ways.

The person begging for a place to live should be making 99% of the sacrifices.

Why would your own offspring need to beg for a place to live?

I suspect you are the kind of "parent" that doesn't need to worry about the adult kids moving home  -  ever.

You might want to choose and pre-fund your own in-home caregivers and nursing home though. I don't see people who had to beg their father for the basics of human survival going way extra-curricular when caring for you in your old age.


I have to work.. I get up at 6am..so I have to be in bed by 10pm.  My kids always understood that the house is quiet at 10pm and the doors get locked.  If you get home late you are sleeping in your car.  I dont need you traipsing around the house late at night, watching TV loud or wondering when I can lock up.

Kids lost their key privileges because of their klepto friends.
 
2020-09-05 11:51:51 AM  

Linux_Yes: raerae1980: bostonguy: Mugato: I dunno, I (sadly) live alone but what's wrong with living with your family?

Because your parents never stop treating you like a child. I'm almost 40, and they want to give me a curfew whenever I visit. And I still never feel like a full-fledged adult whenever I'm around them.

Same here (._.)
I didnt move out until i was 26, and i still had a curfew up to the day of my wedding.    It would be very hard for me to adjust living under their roof again.

Just be thankful they didnt insist on going on the honeymoon.   Giggle


Oh....I am grateful.  😋
 
2020-09-05 11:56:24 AM  
Pooling expenses is a smart thing to do when you need to save money.

Its a tough time and nobody's hiring.  And now nobody wants to be a landlord, because now nobody has to pay rent.
That means there will be a massive shortage of new housing.

But this will turn around and get better in a few months, if  ... WEAR YOUR GODDAM MASK
 
2020-09-05 11:57:16 AM  

Magnus: luna1580: i sorta hate to be the one to say this, but is multi-generational-housing actually BAD?

(in a pre-covid world, where killing the grandparents by breathing over dinner was never a thought. let's discuss the very IDEA.)

estados unidos in modern times pretty much invented, or at least WIDELY popularized, the idea of "living alone" apartments and that every newly married couple -OR AT LEAST that couple when they had a baby on the way- was a f*cking FAILURE if they didn't buy and move into a home all alone.

it's VERY arguable that for most of human existence on this planet people lived in multi-generational homes. or at the very least within easy walking distance of family and tribe members.

other than "supporting" the LIE that "pure capitalism" offers the entire world "endless" economic expansion, WHY should every single human now born feel a "failure" if they don't end up in a brand new house, alone, with a spouse, or with a spouse and kids?

multi-generational houses are useful. the old and the middle aged help with the very young, and then everyone can help with the very old.

no other primate on earth shuns families and tribes for "a big new house ALL MY OWN!"

maybe it's time to act like the animals we are now.

If you are alone with a spouse and kids, maybe the problem is in the ceiling to floor mirror that you bought down at the GoodWill while you were out shopping for some retro clothes.


"alone" WITH a spouse and kids? lol. that would mean at least four people (kids, plural) in just one generation. all living together.

this word "alone" -i do not think it means what you think it means...  and "ceiling to floor mirrors" are NOT common household goods anywhere in america, at any price.

and you say you've been here 16 years? interesting. take some time to learn english before writing back in it, i'll wait.
 
2020-09-05 12:02:29 PM  
Oh, there are plenty of reasons for my wife and I to never even consider moving in with either set of parents.
1. Both sets hate each other, and really should be divorced. I've been waiting for my parents to get a divorce for almost 25 years, and my wife and I have a thousand dollar bet that when my BIL finds a place of his own, her parents would be divorced inside a year. They all fight constantly, even in public. I was exposed to that until I moved out, and never again.
2. Money. We are the financially stable pairing in the whole thing. My in-laws barely scrape by, and my parents have a metric load of debt.
3. Space. My in-laws live in a trailer. No room. My parents live in a 3BR/1BA house, but that third bedroom is my dad's office. No room.
4. My wife and I have an active sex life, and we don't want either side to get in the way. Back when my wife had first moved into her own apartment after a divorce, we were in the middle of sex and her cell started getting blown up. Five calls in five minutes, and no one had that number yet except family since she just got it. So she puts me on hold, so to speak, and answers thinking it's an emergency. Nope. Her mom wanted to know if she wanted the extra box of butter she got at the store.
5. Commute. From the in-laws' to where I work would be over an hour. 90 minutes from my parents.
 
2020-09-05 12:03:46 PM  

Linux_Yes: tricycleracer: Gramma: bostonguy: Mugato: I dunno, I (sadly) live alone but what's wrong with living with your family?

Because your parents never stop treating you like a child. I'm almost 40, and they want to give me a curfew whenever I visit. And I still never feel like a full-fledged adult whenever I'm around them.

I'm  a bit like that. I don't want to hear the front door open at 4 am. Get in at a reasonable time or spend the  night somewhere else. And that is okay. You want to spend the night at your boyfriend's place?  Go for it.  You want to wake me  up and get  the dogs all spun up in the wee hours, NO.

Ain't no one spending the night anywhere if they all live at home.

Home is the place where
When you have to go there
They have to take you in.

Robert frost


The darker side of this calculus is of course the millions of younger Americans who don't have anything like a "home" to go back to because their parents have died, are sick, or can't afford a big house themselves.

Having to go live with mom and dad and be treated like a child is actually a very affluent white problem to have.  Most people who have it don't even give a thought to what it's like for the rest of us who have had to live without any kind of safety net since we were teenagers.
 
2020-09-05 12:04:08 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-09-05 12:05:56 PM  

bostonguy: jso2897: We're in a depression now, and everybody but Wall Street knows it.
1929 called - they didn't say anything - just heavy breathing.

I wouldn't go that far.

The 1929 and 2008 crashes had underlying major economic issues. This one is artificial and forced.

As soon as the pandemic is over, things should return to 90% normal relatively quickly. (That's what happened after the Spanish Flu.) The hard part is keeping everything together until the pandemic is over. Governments should be giving money to people so they can survive. And everyone needs to keep distant and wear their damn masks, or the pandemic will not end.

/ rant over


We're looking at, at least, 80 million people being homeless, we have millions unemployed, and you think it'll spring back?

We were due for a crash before this all happened and the pandemic just brought the problems to the forefront.  Something like 70% of the top earning stocks in the NASDAQ are companies who have never turned a profit.  This will not rebound like people who are only interested in the politics of it rebounded claim it will.
 
2020-09-05 12:07:25 PM  
Screw it. Im doing this in list form so i dont spend my day ranting.

Have some respect for this whom you live with. (Friend, spouse, grandparent, parent, kids)
Compromise.
Respect sleep time. It is a needed function.
We created an society that either has to caffiene or amphetamine themselves to 99.9% functional efficiency. Daily. Because most people do not get enough good sleep.
Your personal disagreement just reflects you figured this out and refuse to partake in the drugs.

-they tell you to leave your parents as soon as possible
-they tell you to kick your kids out 'into the real world' as soon as possible.
-they tell you that you must keep working or that you are lazy and worthless.

-all lies.

The worthlessness is to the 'economy'.

They don't want you to have a life besides working, or scared about how you will pay for things, or too tired to do anything else.

What they want is for the young generation to rent their 20's going into debts they cant easily pay off.  Why? So the next generation works for the economy instead of the economy working for them.

Slaves.

/my kids are welcome here as long as they like rent free. Just be courteous/respect each other, animals, kick in a little time with some normal domestic tasks.
 
2020-09-05 12:11:30 PM  

Gramma: raerae1980: Gramma: bostonguy: Mugato: I dunno, I (sadly) live alone but what's wrong with living with your family?

Because your parents never stop treating you like a child. I'm almost 40, and they want to give me a curfew whenever I visit. And I still never feel like a full-fledged adult whenever I'm around them.

I'm  a bit like that. I don't want to hear the front door open at 4 am. Get in at a reasonable time or spend the  night somewhere else. And that is okay. You want to spend the night at your boyfriend's place?  Go for it.  You want to wake me  up and get  the dogs all spun up in the wee hours, NO.

I get the dogs thing (we dont have dogs), but otherwise it feels very authoritarian to me to have a curfew as an adult.  Your house, your rules, i get that too, but....did i mention id have a hard time living with my parents again? :-)

It's all about compromises. I have a 22 year old at home. I am a light sleeper and I need to get a solid night's sleep. Once I retire and I can  take a nap if my sleep is disturbed, I'll probably ease up on the curfew. But until then, I have to work all day and it really sucks if she wakes me up in the night - especially if it is several days in a row.  In exchange,I put up with her music and - before covid - having friends over and multiple tanks with reptiles. I've given her the spare bedroom to use for her hobbies. And she doesn't pay rent.  She puts up with the dogs and me watching TV.  For the most part, we are okay with the arrangement.


You're an adult, and raised an adult.
 
2020-09-05 12:13:54 PM  

Z-clipped: Linux_Yes: tricycleracer: Gramma: bostonguy: Mugato: I dunno, I (sadly) live alone but what's wrong with living with your family?

Because your parents never stop treating you like a child. I'm almost 40, and they want to give me a curfew whenever I visit. And I still never feel like a full-fledged adult whenever I'm around them.

I'm  a bit like that. I don't want to hear the front door open at 4 am. Get in at a reasonable time or spend the  night somewhere else. And that is okay. You want to spend the night at your boyfriend's place?  Go for it.  You want to wake me  up and get  the dogs all spun up in the wee hours, NO.

Ain't no one spending the night anywhere if they all live at home.

Home is the place where
When you have to go there
They have to take you in.

Robert frost

The darker side of this calculus is of course the millions of younger Americans who don't have anything like a "home" to go back to because their parents have died, are sick, or can't afford a big house themselves.

Having to go live with mom and dad and be treated like a child is actually a very affluent white problem to have.  Most people who have it don't even give a thought to what it's like for the rest of us who have had to live without any kind of safety net since we were teenagers.


Thank you for saying it. Moving in with your parents is a privileged discussion and says a lot about the class you grew up in.
 
2020-09-05 12:20:50 PM  

luna1580: i sorta hate to be the one to say this, but is multi-generational-housing actually BAD?

(in a pre-covid world, where killing the grandparents by breathing over dinner was never a thought. let's discuss the very IDEA.)

estados unidos in modern times pretty much invented, or at least WIDELY popularized, the idea of "living alone" apartments and that every newly married couple -OR AT LEAST that couple when they had a baby on the way- was a f*cking FAILURE if they didn't buy and move into a home all alone.

it's VERY arguable that for most of human existence on this planet people lived in multi-generational homes. or at the very least within easy walking distance of family and tribe members.

other than "supporting" the LIE that "pure capitalism" offers the entire world "endless" economic expansion, WHY should every single human now born feel a "failure" if they don't end up in a brand new house, alone, with a spouse, or with a spouse and kids?

multi-generational houses are useful. the old and the middle aged help with the very young, and then everyone can help with the very old.

no other primate on earth shuns families and tribes for "a big new house ALL MY OWN!"

maybe it's time to act like the animals we are now.


I think this is an intelligent, well laid out argument.  I agree for the most part.  However, if faced with the prospect of living full time with my mother in law or eating a farking shotgun.......
 
2020-09-05 12:25:03 PM  
Sounds like a lot of unused bootstraps to me.

/You know, someone actually thinks that.
 
2020-09-05 12:30:50 PM  

Pincy: Bruscar: Gramma: bostonguy: Mugato: I dunno, I (sadly) live alone but what's wrong with living with your family?

Because your parents never stop treating you like a child. I'm almost 40, and they want to give me a curfew whenever I visit. And I still never feel like a full-fledged adult whenever I'm around them.

I'm  a bit like that. I don't want to hear the front door open at 4 am. Get in at a reasonable time or spend the  night somewhere else. And that is okay. You want to spend the night at your boyfriend's place?  Go for it.  You want to wake me  up and get  the dogs all spun up in the wee hours, NO.

You had to put up with that and more from your roommate in or just after college. If your children are adults, treat them like adults just as you did with your roommates. And buy a white noise machine and take some Melatonin.

Wow lot's of whiny entitlement showing up in this thread. If you are lucky enough to have parents who are willing to take you back in in your time of need it is you who should work around their rules.


Treating adults like children.  Great way for them to not respect your "rules".

Unless if you raised assholes, if you treat them like adults you'll get the same respect back.  Its pretty simple.  If you want to treat your adult children like literal children they'll act like children and do the opposite of what you say.  Its crazy how far giving people a basic amount of respect and autonomy will go towards them respecting you back.

Have fun when you're in need of assistance and find none care enough about you to see you outside of holiday.
 
2020-09-05 12:33:01 PM  
I work in a lot of peoples houses and even with the Pandemic I still don't see as many folks living with their parents as there were 25 years ago . Smells like BS to me .
 
2020-09-05 12:38:52 PM  
I put part of the blame on the parents, kids, and "big college"


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-09-05 12:44:31 PM  

keldaria: No rent/mortgage payment
No utilities


Many parents charge their adult children rent.
 
2020-09-05 12:49:45 PM  
A big reason multigenerational homes declined: an increase in people moving all over the country for work, either theirs or their spouse's. Plus all the older folks who insist on retiring to Florida.
 
2020-09-05 12:50:58 PM  
Posted this in the wrong thread earlier.

Meh....my step-daughter and her three kids have landed on my doorstep three times (unannounced).   My step-daughter has issues beyond economics.   I have come to love her and she's doing well right now.

Her daughter has lived with us twice while mom was out finding herself.  Her mother has also taken in the kids and her before, but that's also a fraught relationship.  So it never worked out.  The step-daughter tends to try to take over the house without respecting the wishes of the parents.   Oh and paying towards the household at all.

Aside from the fact that my creaky old house only has one bathroom, she would disappear for a coupe of days at a time leaving me to take care of her children.

But where i drew the line was when she started seeing a man that I knew from before and who I knew was absolutely bad news.  They were both bout 30 at the time.  I said that that particular man was not welcome in my home.   Well, the two 30 year olds would try to sneak into the house through the daylight basement door.   Crawling on the deck to try to avoid me seeing them from the living room or waiting till they thought I was in bed.  But this being the creaky old house it is, every sound that wasn't a regular one would wake me up bolt upright out of a deep sleep.

I finally told them I knew what was going on and that if they wanted to be together and they being grown ass adults they needed to be grown ass adults and get a place (he certainly could afford it).   They did.  Cops were called, the usual, as I said it would with that guy...

She has now found a decent man and fingers crossed she doesn't blow it.   But she isn't coming back here.   The kids, yeah.   Well, one at a time anyway, that one bathroom.
 
2020-09-05 12:55:31 PM  
My mother in law lives with us.  When my first child was born in 2011 she came to visit and she just sort of never left.  As with anything there are pros and cons to this arrangement.

Pros:
-- Help with picking the house up.

-- She gets to know her grand kids and vice versa.

-- Help with the kids We can go on a date night once in awhile without worrying about a babysitter which is helpful especially during a pandemic (Our date nights might just mean taking a walk together these days but if you don't get some kind of break you will go crazy).

-- Her cost of living is significantly reduced during her retirement years.  We own the house and pay most of the bills.

-- Since we are living through covid she helps school the kids who are all home doing digital learning until we get a good vaccine or at least treatment.

Cons:
-- It is difficult to live with a parent (even if she is not mine) as an adult.  She sees us as (especially my wife) as kids and always will.  Sometimes it is easier to work it out among ourselves than others.  This is probably what causes the most friction.

-- Slightly higher bills due to another person who needs electricity, water, food, etc.  This is probably offset by the fact that we don't have to hire as much childcare.

In our case it is worth it for all parties involved.  If it gets to the point where it is no longer worth it for us or her she is free to move out with no hard feelings.  We are lucky.  We have a finished basement so she pretty much has her own space and I get along with her fairly well.  I am sure this arrangement wouldn't work for everyone.
 
2020-09-05 12:59:23 PM  

luna1580: i sorta hate to be the one to say this, but is multi-generational-housing actually BAD?

(in a pre-covid world, where killing the grandparents by breathing over dinner was never a thought. let's discuss the very IDEA.)

estados unidos in modern times pretty much invented, or at least WIDELY popularized, the idea of "living alone" apartments and that every newly married couple -OR AT LEAST that couple when they had a baby on the way- was a f*cking FAILURE if they didn't buy and move into a home all alone.

it's VERY arguable that for most of human existence on this planet people lived in multi-generational homes. or at the very least within easy walking distance of family and tribe members.

other than "supporting" the LIE that "pure capitalism" offers the entire world "endless" economic expansion, WHY should every single human now born feel a "failure" if they don't end up in a brand new house, alone, with a spouse, or with a spouse and kids?

multi-generational houses are useful. the old and the middle aged help with the very young, and then everyone can help with the very old.

no other primate on earth shuns families and tribes for "a big new house ALL MY OWN!"

maybe it's time to act like the animals we are now.


Nevermind the whole idea is something sold to the poor and middle class. The rich in my area live on compounds, where it is obvious it's multi-generational by the look of and amount of cars. The young people drive nice little spots cars. There is the big DAD truck and two minivans. And there is a ton of them within walking distance of me. Meanwhile the apartments surrounding the area are varying degrees of slums on the nice side of crap.
 
2020-09-05 1:00:31 PM  
Yeah, there's a housing shortage and rents have gotten outrageous.  I moved into my first apartment when I was 20 and i paid 365 a month for a crappy apartment in a good neighborhood.  Now you're lucky to find a similar deal in the same city for less than twice that yet average wages haven't doubled since 2003.

The kids these days have it rough in that category and it keeps getting worse.

As for multi-generational housing... Do you really want your entire family to hear you farking? and do you really want to hear your parents farking?  It might be traditional, but we traditionally discard traditions when we can make better arrangements.  The ability to afford our own housing as adults is one of those.
 
2020-09-05 1:00:36 PM  

bloobeary: Even now, the "basement dwelling loser" is a holdover from that propaganda push. Because the fact that wages have stagnated while property costs have skyrocketed is an unimportant background detail, now go spend some money you useless drain on capitalism, you. The CEO wants a newer bigger yacht.


Thanks for the much-needed pep talk, now I feel like a basement-dwelling WINNER!
 
2020-09-05 1:02:00 PM  
Today on Fark I learned that it is impossible to come home late without waking up everyone in the house. Parking in the driveway and quietly entering through the back door is simply not an option worth considering, instead there must be a battle over curfews.

I don't think I'd want to live with my parents for other reasons. But I worked at a video rental place in high school, often got home late, and distinctly recall being able to get inside without waking the entire house up.
 
2020-09-05 1:07:23 PM  
My kids that can stay clean and sober are welcome to stay forever.  They know they will always be my babies, no matter what.  They get that I will worry over their grooming, nutrition, cash management and if they don't like that, they are free to head out anytime.

OTOH, the kids that steal to support a habit, try to call collect from jail, traffic in controlled substances from my property all need to move and keep on going.

One of my drama llama kids regularly recruits people with tales of woe and how awful life is here.  As soon as the ally comes around, the truth is revealed and drama llama ding dong can't understand why no one stays loyal.

I'll open my home to people I barely know, and run the risk of having squatter issues.  What I won't put up with is my kid demanding to be catered to and coddled while the rest of us are scrambling to pay bills and keep our jobs.
 
2020-09-05 1:08:12 PM  

El_Dan: Today on Fark I learned that it is impossible to come home late without waking up everyone in the house. Parking in the driveway and quietly entering through the back door is simply not an option worth considering, instead there must be a battle over curfews.

I don't think I'd want to live with my parents for other reasons. But I worked at a video rental place in high school, often got home late, and distinctly recall being able to get inside without waking the entire house up.


Sure, but as you get older you're not as agile.  I once knew every step to take to not make the floor boards creak at my parent's house, but nearly 20 years on I'm basically the audible equivalent of a circus walking up the steps when I visit my mom.
 
2020-09-05 1:12:15 PM  

cherryl taggart: My kids that can stay clean and sober are welcome to stay forever.  They know they will always be my babies, no matter what.  They get that I will worry over their grooming, nutrition, cash management and if they don't like that, they are free to head out anytime.

OTOH, the kids that steal to support a habit, try to call collect from jail, traffic in controlled substances from my property all need to move and keep on going.

One of my drama llama kids regularly recruits people with tales of woe and how awful life is here.  As soon as the ally comes around, the truth is revealed and drama llama ding dong can't understand why no one stays loyal.

I'll open my home to people I barely know, and run the risk of having squatter issues.  What I won't put up with is my kid demanding to be catered to and coddled while the rest of us are scrambling to pay bills and keep our jobs.


You are a saint who deserves free TF forever!
 
2020-09-05 1:19:44 PM  

Mister Peejay: keldaria: Honestly... all I can think of is how nice that would be.

No rent/mortgage payment
No utilities
Free meals
Free baby sitting (not that it's not currently free but it would almost always be there, my mother is a sweetheart)

If my wife ever divorces me, I'll be moving back in and staying until my bank account has the money to buy a house or my new Girlfriend demands I stop being a freeloader. Never could figure out why I was in such a rush to leave for my own place. My parents were awesome and I appreciate what they did for me now more than ever now that I have my daughter.

Sorry (not sorry), if you are an adult, you're going to be contributing by paying rent and utilities, and groceries, and maybe cooking every now and then.  You're not five anymore, act like it?


Listen smartass, just because I'm an adult and I act like it doesn't mean I can't look fondly back in what I had before I had responsibilities.
 
2020-09-05 1:20:38 PM  
Just yesterday overheard a conversation between two of my students. The gist of it sounds like the family of one of them is facing eviction at the end of September. I'm thinking they won't be the only ones. 😢

Our oldest daughter lives in a rent controlled apartment with her wife. They barely are scraping by and I actually WISH that they would spend a year living with either us or her wife's dad. They are welcome at either place. Independent streak and all that, but they at least have somewhere to go if things go south. Youngest daughter was turning into a basement dweller a couple years ago and we convinced her to join the Navy instead of sitting home doing nothing. When she's out in a few years I anticipate she will come back home until she gets her land legs under her.

This next several months are going to suck for many of us. And it may drag out for a while also. And we may end up in a pseudo-civil war on top of a recession/depression and the pandemic that's probably going to spike in case numbers/deaths. If Biden wins and actually is able to evict 45* he's probably going to have to spend another few trillion to dig this country out of the hole. And hopefully revamp the tax structure so the rich scum will pay their proper dues to society.
 
2020-09-05 1:23:33 PM  

luna1580: i sorta hate to be the one to say this, but is multi-generational-housing actually BAD?

<snip>

When you have worked your whole life for a chance to retire and travel.
 
2020-09-05 1:23:47 PM  
Billionaires aren't the problem though.
 
2020-09-05 1:26:10 PM  
Our son is living at home - he's 27. His job is currently in limbo due to COVID, so he can't afford his own place. I like having him around. He helps out with things, and it's been nice to hang around with him. Multi-generational homes are not uncommon here, due to the high cost of housing.
 
2020-09-05 1:31:17 PM  
My oldest just started college, and she's staying home and going to a local University. It's nice. She helps out around the house and in exchange gets free room and board. I feel very fortunate to be able to help, and although I know she would rather move out, this will help keep her student loans lower.

These are Not the times to frivolously move out if you get along with your parents.

/My parents were boomers. I moved out at 18.
 
2020-09-05 1:32:41 PM  

electricjebus: As for multi-generational housing... Do you really want your entire family to hear you farking? and do you really want to hear your parents farking? It might be traditional, but we traditionally discard traditions when we can make better arrangements. The ability to afford our own housing as adults is one of those.


Fark user imageView Full Size


For what we get, we also give away. We give up our human ties when our choices expand, because we only have time for so much. We should start thinking about that.
And we'll have to--this shiat is going away. It is not sustainable, and it's about to become unthinkable.
Farking adapt. aren't we supposed to be the most smartest, adaptable creature ever? Funny way to show it--throwing away our humanity AND our biological life support system.
 
2020-09-05 1:37:10 PM  

patowen: luna1580: i sorta hate to be the one to say this, but is multi-generational-housing actually BAD?<snip>

When you have worked your whole life for a chance to retire and travel.


Unless the retired couple is well ng their house to fund the traveling, I see no reason why their travel interferes with multigenerational housing.

If anything, the savings created should help fund it.
 
2020-09-05 1:38:23 PM  
If I was still in my 20s I dunno how it would have went living at home full time while trying to meet up with the ladies and do some drinking, shenanigans, etc.

Now?  I'm in my 30s and have mostly become what they deem an adult.  If I were to move back in I think it'd work well.  My parents rarely drink, they were never verbally or physically abusive, they are left leaning politically, they're retired so they do their own thing whenever they want.

We share a lot of the same hobbies like gardening, camping, hiking, running, traveling, etc.  Mrs. TheFoz gets along great with them and if we ever do reproduce they could help out.  They are financially secure so any money I'd try to give them they wouldn't accept.  I'd definitely help out with cooking, groceries, cleaning, etc.

Same for the in-laws, I don't think we'd have many issues.  They are very similar to my parents except they drink a bit more.

YMMV and all...

/I lucked into some great families I guess
//sorry to hear a lot of you had crappy parents
///in 3s come the slashies
 
2020-09-05 1:39:53 PM  

Private_Citizen: My oldest just started college, and she's staying home and going to a local University. It's nice. She helps out around the house and in exchange gets free room and board. I feel very fortunate to be able to help, and although I know she would rather move out, this will help keep her student loans lower.

These are Not the times to frivolously move out if you get along with your parents.

/My parents were boomers. I moved out at 18.


I moved out at 18 too,but mostly only because my parents moved away and I had a job, friends, other family, and my University in my hometown.

I would happily have stayed with them through college, otherwise.
 
2020-09-05 1:40:55 PM  

Someone Else's Alt: Por que tan serioso: Someone Else's Alt: I have three younger brothers. Everyone of us got out of the house the minute we could figure out a way to do it and every one of us moved pretty much as far away from my mother as was physically possible and still stay in the US. Well, except for me, I joined the Navy in the middle of my senior year on delayed entry so I could be put on a ship on the other side of the planet the minute I was done with high school with mail being the only way for my mother to hassle me.

Brother #2 left home at 17 from Mobile AL to find me in NYC.
Brother #3 left home at 17 from Naples, Italy to Long Island, NY (Step dad had a contract in Italy at the time)
Brother #4 left home at 18 from Mobile AL to Seattle WA.

We have been trying to figure out how we are going to take care of my mother for a few years now. It won't be to much longer before she cannot shop and take care of herself. None of us are willing to take her in or live with her even part time. She is so toxic that my brothers keep visits with the kids down to a few hours a couple of times a year. A couple of hours is about the limit any sane person can spend around her before you start getting the urge to push her off a roof. I personally will not be anywhere near her and do not talk to her and have not spoke to her since 1987. Anything about her has to go through one of my brothers and they get it, they take turns dealing with her bullshiat.  It is looking like we will all be chipping in to put her into a home at some point soon, my vote was raft and push her out into the North Atlantic without a paddle, but they voted against it, knowing how mean my mother is they figured she would probably survive and might make her way to Nova Scotia or Canada which would most likely start some kind of international incident.

So not to concerned about anyone in our family moving back in with mom.

Don't hold back, SEA. This feels like your moment. Tell us. How do you REALLY feel about your mother?

Pretty sure the Fark servers do not have enough capacity for me to fully vent about our issues with my mother.

But if you are REALLY that curious, I have been carrying around the same $100 bill in my wallet since I was 15 years old. It is so I can buy a celebratory round of drinks when I get the word that she has finally died.


Fark user imageView Full Size


/I get it though. Some people are Just plain Bad.
 
2020-09-05 1:41:13 PM  

Petey4335: Screw it. Im doing this in list form so i dont spend my day ranting.

Have some respect for this whom you live with. (Friend, spouse, grandparent, parent, kids)
Compromise.
Respect sleep time. It is a needed function.
We created an society that either has to caffiene or amphetamine themselves to 99.9% functional efficiency. Daily. Because most people do not get enough good sleep.
Your personal disagreement just reflects you figured this out and refuse to partake in the drugs.

-they tell you to leave your parents as soon as possible
-they tell you to kick your kids out 'into the real world' as soon as possible.
-they tell you that you must keep working or that you are lazy and worthless.

-all lies.

The worthlessness is to the 'economy'.

They don't want you to have a life besides working, or scared about how you will pay for things, or too tired to do anything else.

What they want is for the young generation to rent their 20's going into debts they cant easily pay off.  Why? So the next generation works for the economy instead of the economy working for them.

Slaves.

/my kids are welcome here as long as they like rent free. Just be courteous/respect each other, animals, kick in a little time with some normal domestic tasks.


Agreed.

While I don't think you should boot your kids out the door at 18 I think it is important they get out and experience what it's like to be on their own.  Get experience with life, paying bills, making mistakes, etc.

Your parents could up and die tomorrow and if you don't have any experience to rely on it might be tough going.
 
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