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(CNN)   52% of young adults in the US are living with their parents, the highest share since the Great Depression   (cnn.com) divider line
    More: Sad, Great Depression, majority of young adults, young adults, Pew Research Center, Ethnic group, Depression, Business cycle, number of young adults  
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1863 clicks; posted to Main » and Politics » on 05 Sep 2020 at 9:35 AM (12 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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2020-09-05 10:22:02 AM  

Gramma: bostonguy: Mugato: I dunno, I (sadly) live alone but what's wrong with living with your family?

Because your parents never stop treating you like a child. I'm almost 40, and they want to give me a curfew whenever I visit. And I still never feel like a full-fledged adult whenever I'm around them.

I'm  a bit like that. I don't want to hear the front door open at 4 am. Get in at a reasonable time or spend the  night somewhere else. And that is okay. You want to spend the night at your boyfriend's place?  Go for it.  You want to wake me  up and get  the dogs all spun up in the wee hours, NO.


You had to put up with that and more from your roommate in or just after college. If your children are adults, treat them like adults just as you did with your roommates. And buy a white noise machine and take some Melatonin.
 
2020-09-05 10:24:43 AM  
Although the article says nothing about it, I wonder if a fraction of the young adults now living with their parents are doing so because their own kids' daycares closed due to the pandemic. My sister and her husband went all of one week in March of juggling work-from-home and taking care of a 1-year-old before moving in with my parents. It was either that or one of them quitting their jobs.

/Still hoping to be able to send my yet-to-be-born child to daycare early next year
//Who am I kidding, we could be at 100k new cases/day by then
///Sigh
 
2020-09-05 10:25:58 AM  

stamped human bacon: raerae1980: it feels very authoritarian to me to have a curfew as an adult.

It's not a curfew, it's a courtesy. Back in the day, it was more common.


Agreed, if you to move back in with your parents and they are kind enough to take you in then you should be thankful enough by not being an asshole.
 
2020-09-05 10:27:06 AM  

Prank Call of Cthulhu: Gramma: Get in at a reasonable time or spend the  night somewhere else.

Username checks out.


I don't know. My parents were dysfunctional as hell. We were sometimes sent to live with grandparents. We loved it because, in addition to a distinct lack of physical violence, we had so much more freedom. My grandparents' idea of a curfew for teenagers was "Do you think you can make it back by eleven?"

If the answer was no, they told one of the younger kids "I'm too old to get up in the middle of the night. When your sister gets home, get up and make sure she can get in the house."
 
2020-09-05 10:27:18 AM  

Pr1nc3ss: My parents are both dead so I live with my bootstraps.


Yeah, sorry about that.
 
2020-09-05 10:29:34 AM  

raerae1980: stamped human bacon: raerae1980: it feels very authoritarian to me to have a curfew as an adult.

It's not a curfew, it's a courtesy. Back in the day, it was more common.

It makes sense if you have young adults in the house, not when they're 30 or 40.  Respect and courtesy goes borh ways.


The person begging for a place to live should be making 99% of the sacrifices.
 
2020-09-05 10:29:49 AM  

Pincy: stamped human bacon: raerae1980: it feels very authoritarian to me to have a curfew as an adult.

It's not a curfew, it's a courtesy. Back in the day, it was more common.

Agreed, if you to move back in with your parents and they are kind enough to take you in then you should be thankful enough by not being an asshole.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-09-05 10:32:16 AM  

Pincy: raerae1980: stamped human bacon: raerae1980: it feels very authoritarian to me to have a curfew as an adult.

It's not a curfew, it's a courtesy. Back in the day, it was more common.

It makes sense if you have young adults in the house, not when they're 30 or 40.  Respect and courtesy goes borh ways.

The person begging for a place to live should be making 99% of the sacrifices.


Hence why i said "my house, my rules" dude. :-)
 
2020-09-05 10:32:39 AM  

stamped human bacon: raerae1980: it feels very authoritarian to me to have a curfew as an adult.

It's not a curfew, it's a courtesy. Back in the day, it was more common.


For me the courtesy part is letting me know when or whether I should start searching emergency rooms or initiate a search. Trying to control when other adults go out and trying to control the social lives of adults just strikes me as ... well ... controlling.
 
2020-09-05 10:32:49 AM  

luna1580: i sorta hate to be the one to say this, but is multi-generational-housing actually BAD?

(in a pre-covid world, where killing the grandparents by breathing over dinner was never a thought. let's discuss the very IDEA.)

estados unidos in modern times pretty much invented, or at least WIDELY popularized, the idea of "living alone" apartments and that every newly married couple -OR AT LEAST that couple when they had a baby on the way- was a f*cking FAILURE if they didn't buy and move into a home all alone.

it's VERY arguable that for most of human existence on this planet people lived in multi-generational homes. or at the very least within easy walking distance of family and tribe members.

other than "supporting" the LIE that "pure capitalism" offers the entire world "endless" economic expansion, WHY should every single human now born feel a "failure" if they don't end up in a brand new house, alone, with a spouse, or with a spouse and kids?

multi-generational houses are useful. the old and the middle aged help with the very young, and then everyone can help with the very old.

no other primate on earth shuns families and tribes for "a big new house ALL MY OWN!"

maybe it's time to act like the animals we are now.


Back at home then?
 
2020-09-05 10:32:59 AM  

Bruscar: Gramma: bostonguy: Mugato: I dunno, I (sadly) live alone but what's wrong with living with your family?

Because your parents never stop treating you like a child. I'm almost 40, and they want to give me a curfew whenever I visit. And I still never feel like a full-fledged adult whenever I'm around them.

I'm  a bit like that. I don't want to hear the front door open at 4 am. Get in at a reasonable time or spend the  night somewhere else. And that is okay. You want to spend the night at your boyfriend's place?  Go for it.  You want to wake me  up and get  the dogs all spun up in the wee hours, NO.

You had to put up with that and more from your roommate in or just after college. If your children are adults, treat them like adults just as you did with your roommates. And buy a white noise machine and take some Melatonin.


Wow lot's of whiny entitlement showing up in this thread. If you are lucky enough to have parents who are willing to take you back in in your time of need it is you who should work around their rules.
 
2020-09-05 10:34:10 AM  

Gramma: tricycleracer: Gramma: bostonguy: Mugato: I dunno, I (sadly) live alone but what's wrong with living with your family?

Because your parents never stop treating you like a child. I'm almost 40, and they want to give me a curfew whenever I visit. And I still never feel like a full-fledged adult whenever I'm around them.

I'm  a bit like that. I don't want to hear the front door open at 4 am. Get in at a reasonable time or spend the  night somewhere else. And that is okay. You want to spend the night at your boyfriend's place?  Go for it.  You want to wake me  up and get  the dogs all spun up in the wee hours, NO.

Ain't no one spending the night anywhere if they all live at home.

My daughter has had friends stay over and she's stayed over at other friends' houses. They sometimes do a 'movie night' where a handful will gather in one house and watch movies all night.  (pre covid) .  If its a Friday or Saturday night, its fine. But don't keep me up half the night  on  a  goddamn Tuesday.


For them, the day movie night was at your house was the most important day of their life.  But for you, it was Tuesday.
 
2020-09-05 10:34:20 AM  

Pincy: raerae1980: stamped human bacon: raerae1980: it feels very authoritarian to me to have a curfew as an adult.

It's not a curfew, it's a courtesy. Back in the day, it was more common.

It makes sense if you have young adults in the house, not when they're 30 or 40.  Respect and courtesy goes borh ways.

The person begging for a place to live should be making 99% of the sacrifices.


Psychopaths cannot understand familial bonds of love; everything is transactional to them.
 
2020-09-05 10:36:22 AM  

Commander Lysdexic: Pincy: stamped human bacon: raerae1980: it feels very authoritarian to me to have a curfew as an adult.

It's not a curfew, it's a courtesy. Back in the day, it was more common.

Agreed, if you to move back in with your parents and they are kind enough to take you in then you should be thankful enough by not being an asshole.

[Fark user image image 850x479]


Sorry, not a boomer. Just treat people with respect instead of expecting everyone to put up with my crap, especially if they are giving me free room and board. I guess that's an outdated notion now?
 
2020-09-05 10:38:08 AM  

bostonguy: Mugato: I dunno, I (sadly) live alone but what's wrong with living with your family?

Because your parents never stop treating you like a child. I'm almost 40, and they want to give me a curfew whenever I visit. And I still never feel like a full-fledged adult whenever I'm around them.


This. My mom is awesome but she cannot help but see her little boy when when I visit. It's tedious after a day or two. I was always an independent child and I am still that way as an adult.
 
2020-09-05 10:39:56 AM  
I have three younger brothers. Everyone of us got out of the house the minute we could figure out a way to do it and every one of us moved pretty much as far away from my mother as was physically possible and still stay in the US. Well, except for me, I joined the Navy in the middle of my senior year on delayed entry so I could be put on a ship on the other side of the planet the minute I was done with high school with mail being the only way for my mother to hassle me.

Brother #2 left home at 17 from Mobile AL to find me in NYC.
Brother #3 left home at 17 from Naples, Italy to Long Island, NY (Step dad had a contract in Italy at the time)
Brother #4 left home at 18 from Mobile AL to Seattle WA.

We have been trying to figure out how we are going to take care of my mother for a few years now. It won't be to much longer before she cannot shop and take care of herself. None of us are willing to take her in or live with her even part time. She is so toxic that my brothers keep visits with the kids down to a few hours a couple of times a year. A couple of hours is about the limit any sane person can spend around her before you start getting the urge to push her off a roof. I personally will not be anywhere near her and do not talk to her and have not spoke to her since 1987. Anything about her has to go through one of my brothers and they get it, they take turns dealing with her bullshiat.  It is looking like we will all be chipping in to put her into a home at some point soon, my vote was raft and push her out into the North Atlantic without a paddle, but they voted against it, knowing how mean my mother is they figured she would probably survive and might make her way to Nova Scotia or Canada which would most likely start some kind of international incident.

So not to concerned about anyone in our family moving back in with mom.
 
2020-09-05 10:41:10 AM  
Living with your folks...
The beginning of the end.
Drab yesterdays shutting out
beautiful tomorrows.
Hideous footsteps creaking along
the misty corridors of time,
and in those corridors I see figures.
Strange figures.
Weird figures:
Steel 186, Anaconda 74,
American Can 138.

external-content.duckduckgo.comView Full Size


/pardon me while I have a strange interlude.
 
2020-09-05 10:41:52 AM  

Pincy: raerae1980: stamped human bacon: raerae1980: it feels very authoritarian to me to have a curfew as an adult.

It's not a curfew, it's a courtesy. Back in the day, it was more common.

It makes sense if you have young adults in the house, not when they're 30 or 40.  Respect and courtesy goes borh ways.

The person begging for a place to live should be making 99% of the sacrifices.


Why would your own offspring need to beg for a place to live?

I suspect you are the kind of "parent" that doesn't need to worry about the adult kids moving home  -  ever.

You might want to choose and pre-fund your own in-home caregivers and nursing home though. I don't see people who had to beg their father for the basics of human survival going way extra-curricular when caring for you in your old age.
 
2020-09-05 10:41:55 AM  
Good. The stigma of multigenerational living is absurd. As long your parents aren't massive assholes, stay there and save money until you can afford more freedom.

When I last changed jobs in 2013, I lived at home for a few months. My old apartment's lease didn't expire until July and I got a job a good distance away. I couldn't afford to break the lease, I couldn't afford to pay double rent on two places, and I could barely afford to commute a huge drive every day. So, I went home and saved my first few months pay. I drove back on the weekends and cleared my stuff out on my schedule.
 
2020-09-05 10:42:04 AM  

stamped human bacon: raerae1980: it feels very authoritarian to me to have a curfew as an adult.

It's not a curfew, it's a courtesy. Back in the day, it was more common.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-09-05 10:42:58 AM  

Commander Lysdexic: Pincy: raerae1980: stamped human bacon: raerae1980: it feels very authoritarian to me to have a curfew as an adult.

It's not a curfew, it's a courtesy. Back in the day, it was more common.

It makes sense if you have young adults in the house, not when they're 30 or 40.  Respect and courtesy goes borh ways.

The person begging for a place to live should be making 99% of the sacrifices.

Psychopaths cannot understand familial bonds of love; everything is transactional to them.


No I understand it completely. The parents are demonstrating how much they love their children by taking them back in when they are in need. I think that is very touching. Now the children need to show that same love back by showing some simple common courtesy.
 
2020-09-05 10:43:46 AM  

Pincy: Bruscar: Gramma: bostonguy: Mugato: I dunno, I (sadly) live alone but what's wrong with living with your family?

Because your parents never stop treating you like a child. I'm almost 40, and they want to give me a curfew whenever I visit. And I still never feel like a full-fledged adult whenever I'm around them.

I'm  a bit like that. I don't want to hear the front door open at 4 am. Get in at a reasonable time or spend the  night somewhere else. And that is okay. You want to spend the night at your boyfriend's place?  Go for it.  You want to wake me  up and get  the dogs all spun up in the wee hours, NO.

You had to put up with that and more from your roommate in or just after college. If your children are adults, treat them like adults just as you did with your roommates. And buy a white noise machine and take some Melatonin.

Wow lot's of whiny entitlement showing up in this thread. If you are lucky enough to have parents who are willing to take you back in in your time of need it is you who should work around their rules.


Dude, I am the parent. My adult kids live with me. Take your "whiny entitlement" bullshiat and shove it up your lonely ass.
 
2020-09-05 10:44:00 AM  

Pincy: Commander Lysdexic: Pincy: stamped human bacon: raerae1980: it feels very authoritarian to me to have a curfew as an adult.

It's not a curfew, it's a courtesy. Back in the day, it was more common.

Agreed, if you to move back in with your parents and they are kind enough to take you in then you should be thankful enough by not being an asshole.

[Fark user image image 850x479]

Sorry, not a boomer. Just treat people with respect instead of expecting everyone to put up with my crap, especially if they are giving me free room and board. I guess that's an outdated notion now?


I'm sorry you have parents who are unwilling to go to any effort to help you, if you were to become homeless, without putting a myriad of conditions upon their assistance.
You appear to have been raised without much love, and I feel sorry for you.
 
2020-09-05 10:49:22 AM  

Commander Lysdexic: Pincy: Commander Lysdexic: Pincy: stamped human bacon: raerae1980: it feels very authoritarian to me to have a curfew as an adult.

It's not a curfew, it's a courtesy. Back in the day, it was more common.

Agreed, if you to move back in with your parents and they are kind enough to take you in then you should be thankful enough by not being an asshole.

[Fark user image image 850x479]

Sorry, not a boomer. Just treat people with respect instead of expecting everyone to put up with my crap, especially if they are giving me free room and board. I guess that's an outdated notion now?

I'm sorry you have parents who are unwilling to go to any effort to help you, if you were to become homeless, without putting a myriad of conditions upon their assistance.
You appear to have been raised without much love, and I feel sorry for you.


I'm sure my parents would help me if I ever needed it. They would even let me move back in. But if I did I would try my best to minimize any disruptions to their daily routines. I understand that they have their own life and expect things in their own house to work a certain way. It's called common courtesy and respect. I didn't think it would be such a hot button issue but here we are.
 
2020-09-05 10:51:03 AM  
My hubby and I purposefully looked for and bought a two-family home last year for housing us and his daughter and grandson. I assumed multigenerational housing was going to become big again and I wanted to get something before it got too costly. I'm so happy we bought when we did.
 
2020-09-05 10:51:47 AM  

Mugato: Pr1nc3ss: My parents are both dead so I live with my bootstraps.

Yeah, sorry about that.


Better than still living with them, I guess.
 
2020-09-05 10:54:04 AM  

Someone Else's Alt: I have three younger brothers. Everyone of us got out of the house the minute we could figure out a way to do it and every one of us moved pretty much as far away from my mother as was physically possible and still stay in the US. Well, except for me, I joined the Navy in the middle of my senior year on delayed entry so I could be put on a ship on the other side of the planet the minute I was done with high school with mail being the only way for my mother to hassle me.

Brother #2 left home at 17 from Mobile AL to find me in NYC.
Brother #3 left home at 17 from Naples, Italy to Long Island, NY (Step dad had a contract in Italy at the time)
Brother #4 left home at 18 from Mobile AL to Seattle WA.

We have been trying to figure out how we are going to take care of my mother for a few years now. It won't be to much longer before she cannot shop and take care of herself. None of us are willing to take her in or live with her even part time. She is so toxic that my brothers keep visits with the kids down to a few hours a couple of times a year. A couple of hours is about the limit any sane person can spend around her before you start getting the urge to push her off a roof. I personally will not be anywhere near her and do not talk to her and have not spoke to her since 1987. Anything about her has to go through one of my brothers and they get it, they take turns dealing with her bullshiat.  It is looking like we will all be chipping in to put her into a home at some point soon, my vote was raft and push her out into the North Atlantic without a paddle, but they voted against it, knowing how mean my mother is they figured she would probably survive and might make her way to Nova Scotia or Canada which would most likely start some kind of international incident.

So not to concerned about anyone in our family moving back in with mom.


Don't hold back, SEA. This feels like your moment. Tell us. How do you REALLY feel about your mother?
 
2020-09-05 10:54:28 AM  

Pincy: Commander Lysdexic: Pincy: raerae1980: stamped human bacon: raerae1980: it feels very authoritarian to me to have a curfew as an adult.

It's not a curfew, it's a courtesy. Back in the day, it was more common.

It makes sense if you have young adults in the house, not when they're 30 or 40.  Respect and courtesy goes borh ways.

The person begging for a place to live should be making 99% of the sacrifices.

Psychopaths cannot understand familial bonds of love; everything is transactional to them.

No I understand it completely. The parents are demonstrating how much they love their children by taking them back in when they are in need. I think that is very touching. Now the children need to show that same love back by showing some simple common courtesy.


You're still making it a transaction.  That they give something back.  Real love means not expecting that of them, and them loving you means they will eventually show it back to you in some form.  But not specifically right away, tit for tat, I let you move in now you owe me something type of way.  This is assuming both you and they are not a-holes or bitter at life or slobs, etc. Basic courtesy of course applies.
 
2020-09-05 10:57:23 AM  

keldaria: Honestly... all I can think of is how nice that would be.

No rent/mortgage payment
No utilities
Free meals
Free baby sitting (not that it's not currently free but it would almost always be there, my mother is a sweetheart)

If my wife ever divorces me, I'll be moving back in and staying until my bank account has the money to buy a house or my new Girlfriend demands I stop being a freeloader. Never could figure out why I was in such a rush to leave for my own place. My parents were awesome and I appreciate what they did for me now more than ever now that I have my daughter.


Sorry (not sorry), if you are an adult, you're going to be contributing by paying rent and utilities, and groceries, and maybe cooking every now and then.  You're not five anymore, act like it?
 
2020-09-05 11:00:19 AM  

Por que tan serioso: Someone Else's Alt: I have three younger brothers. Everyone of us got out of the house the minute we could figure out a way to do it and every one of us moved pretty much as far away from my mother as was physically possible and still stay in the US. Well, except for me, I joined the Navy in the middle of my senior year on delayed entry so I could be put on a ship on the other side of the planet the minute I was done with high school with mail being the only way for my mother to hassle me.

Brother #2 left home at 17 from Mobile AL to find me in NYC.
Brother #3 left home at 17 from Naples, Italy to Long Island, NY (Step dad had a contract in Italy at the time)
Brother #4 left home at 18 from Mobile AL to Seattle WA.

We have been trying to figure out how we are going to take care of my mother for a few years now. It won't be to much longer before she cannot shop and take care of herself. None of us are willing to take her in or live with her even part time. She is so toxic that my brothers keep visits with the kids down to a few hours a couple of times a year. A couple of hours is about the limit any sane person can spend around her before you start getting the urge to push her off a roof. I personally will not be anywhere near her and do not talk to her and have not spoke to her since 1987. Anything about her has to go through one of my brothers and they get it, they take turns dealing with her bullshiat.  It is looking like we will all be chipping in to put her into a home at some point soon, my vote was raft and push her out into the North Atlantic without a paddle, but they voted against it, knowing how mean my mother is they figured she would probably survive and might make her way to Nova Scotia or Canada which would most likely start some kind of international incident.

So not to concerned about anyone in our family moving back in with mom.

Don't hold back, SEA. This feels like your moment. Tell us. How do you REALLY feel about your mother?


Pretty sure the Fark servers do not have enough capacity for me to fully vent about our issues with my mother.

But if you are REALLY that curious, I have been carrying around the same $100 bill in my wallet since I was 15 years old. It is so I can buy a celebratory round of drinks when I get the word that she has finally died.
 
2020-09-05 11:00:53 AM  
My observation is that if you're still living in the house where your kids grew up, they just automatically assume that they can come back and occupy their old bedroom at any time.  And bring their own children and partner along.

So there are a number of options:

. move out of the house where your kids grew up
. modify the bedrooms into fitness rooms, model railroad rooms, kinky sex rooms, whatever

Seriously though, this is an alarming statistic and is a true indication of where we stand economically.  Ask the young adults who have to live with their parents how many shares they own.
 
2020-09-05 11:02:58 AM  

jso2897: should be giving money to people so they can survive. And everyone needs to keep distant and wear their dam

Well, we can never really have another "great depression" - monetary policy won't allow an actual money scarcity like that  to occur. I don't agree that it is forced - I think it is fundamental, and caused by Trump's horrid tax and business policies - the pandemic is just a trigger event.
This will be structured like 2008, be worse, and last longer.

/Predictions over.


Well, maybe. But. The velocity of money is WAY down. There is enough money (the 0.1% and corporations are holding most of it), but it isn't moving around at all. Looks like we might be going to find out if you can have a depression where there is a whole lot of money, but 99% of people don't have enough to spend.
 
2020-09-05 11:04:12 AM  

Por que tan serioso: Someone Else's Alt: I have three younger brothers. Everyone of us got out of the house the minute we could figure out a way to do it and every one of us moved pretty much as far away from my mother as was physically possible and still stay in the US. Well, except for me, I joined the Navy in the middle of my senior year on delayed entry so I could be put on a ship on the other side of the planet the minute I was done with high school with mail being the only way for my mother to hassle me.

Brother #2 left home at 17 from Mobile AL to find me in NYC.
Brother #3 left home at 17 from Naples, Italy to Long Island, NY (Step dad had a contract in Italy at the time)
Brother #4 left home at 18 from Mobile AL to Seattle WA.

We have been trying to figure out how we are going to take care of my mother for a few years now. It won't be to much longer before she cannot shop and take care of herself. None of us are willing to take her in or live with her even part time. She is so toxic that my brothers keep visits with the kids down to a few hours a couple of times a year. A couple of hours is about the limit any sane person can spend around her before you start getting the urge to push her off a roof. I personally will not be anywhere near her and do not talk to her and have not spoke to her since 1987. Anything about her has to go through one of my brothers and they get it, they take turns dealing with her bullshiat.  It is looking like we will all be chipping in to put her into a home at some point soon, my vote was raft and push her out into the North Atlantic without a paddle, but they voted against it, knowing how mean my mother is they figured she would probably survive and might make her way to Nova Scotia or Canada which would most likely start some kind of international incident.

So not to concerned about anyone in our family moving back in with mom.

Don't hold back, SEA. This feels like your moment. Tell us. How do you REALLY feel about your mother?


Be grateful I didn't share how my siblings and I really feel about our father. Hint: We cared for our mother, but also we resented our mother for not leaving him when were kids until the day she died. Of five kids, there is one that visits our father. We have informed her that if she wants to take care of him, go for it. The rest of us have noped out. Kids raised in abusive households tend to be wacky like that.
 
2020-09-05 11:04:38 AM  

luna1580: i sorta hate to be the one to say this, but is multi-generational-housing actually BAD?
(in a pre-covid world, where killing the grandparents by breathing over dinner was never a thought. let's discuss the very IDEA.)
estados unidos in modern times pretty much invented, or at least WIDELY popularized, the idea of "living alone" apartments and that every newly married couple -OR AT LEAST that couple when they had a baby on the way- was a f*cking FAILURE if they didn't buy and move into a home all alone.
it's VERY arguable that for most of human existence on this planet people lived in multi-generational homes. or at the very least within easy walking distance of family and tribe members.
other than "supporting" the LIE that "pure capitalism" offers the entire world "endless" economic expansion, WHY should every single human now born feel a "failure" if they don't end up in a brand new house, alone, with a spouse, or with a spouse and kids?
multi-generational houses are useful. the old and the middle aged help with the very young, and then everyone can help with the very old.
no other primate on earth shuns families and tribes for "a big new house ALL MY OWN!"
maybe it's time to act like the animals we are now.


No.There's nothing wrong with it. The change was brought about by-----wait for it, no you already know this one---------marketing and advertising. Multi-generational, smaller homes use many fewer resources. Happy, supportive, functional families who help each other out are a drain on the capitalistic system, which depends on every one of us becoming RUGGED INDIVIDUALS who are lost in a forest of a modern confusing world, with no way out except to buy more things.

My son has always lived in my house, and I let him, and you know why? He's poor. I'm poor, but I have a roof over my head. So I share it with him. It's the most sensible thing in the world. The most unreasonable thing in the world is that I would expect him to incur a shiatload more expenses, move far away from me, and start making money in some alien city so that he can be alone with all his spiffy possessions, and probably commit suicide some day, because we've been through enough already, and the last thing he needs is to go be "successful" in some place where he's completely lost.

And we think this is normal. This is "progress." This isn't shiat--this is alienation of our family and societal support systems, to support the capitalistic one. Go get yourself a condo! Move to the city, start making bank, get some stuff! We've been brainwashed into thinking this is normal, just like we've been conditioned to think that putting babies into daycare so that the parents can work all day is perfectly normal too. IT'S NOT NORMAL.

My younger friend said to me once, I miss the days of women just sitting around in the mornings, drinking coffee and gossiping and taking care of the house and stuff. (She never had any of this--she's too young. She went to college and work.) I told her, But we don't get that anymore. Women didn't want that anymore, right? We had to EMANCIPATE ourselves, stop taking money from men, get careers, survive on our own. (Not that a lot of this isn't good. It gets women out of abusive relationships, but then they usually live in poverty, because our society isn't THAT equal yet.)

Support groups? Not your family--they have their own problems, and it's usually related to money, keeping up all their appearances. Try a bunch of strangers. Friends? Who has time? And your family......well, they all moved to the city, and they're making a ton of money, and well you know.
Look at the timeline--all of these things started happening in the golden age of consumerism, which was about the 70's and 80's. In the 70s, women went to work. They used to take care of family, but that bleeds off the capitalist system, so it had to go. So suddenly, we all had to go to work. It was what we WANTED. (I remember this--I was there.)

Did we want that, or was it advertising? Or did we want STUFF, just like we were told all day long, our entire lives? Well, fark, of course we want STUFF. And here we are, with our kids completely alienated from us and parked in front of screens their entire days, where they can suck up more of that rugged individual advertising, telling them how much happier they will be when they can shake off the shackles of----whatever, it can be anything, but you have to buy your way out of it---so that they can be INDEPENDENT, like the American Way. Rugged consumers, living out that American Dream by doing nothing that makes sense for their mental or emotional health, but just their bank accounts.

But this is what we all wanted, remember? This is what you all devote your farking lives to.
 
2020-09-05 11:05:02 AM  

bostonguy: jso2897: We're in a depression now, and everybody but Wall Street knows it.
1929 called - they didn't say anything - just heavy breathing.

I wouldn't go that far.

The 1929 and 2008 crashes had underlying major economic issues. This one is artificial and forced.

As soon as the pandemic is over, things should return to 90% normal relatively quickly. (That's what happened after the Spanish Flu.) The hard part is keeping everything together until the pandemic is over. Governments should be giving money to people so they can survive. And everyone needs to keep distant and wear their damn masks, or the pandemic will not end.

/ rant over


In March and April, I would agree, we're in an economic shock event. Now that we're six months into an economic shock event, every week this continues moves our expected recovery point away from "where it was" to "where it is".

Even if the recovery starts today and only takes a year, compare that to every past recession in modern history. Draw some different mental lines for the recovery and see what year "full employment" returns in. Terrifying. 
3.bp.blogspot.comView Full Size


On the topic of TFA, it's not so much that "living at home with your parents is inherently bad", more that it's a sign of people having no options. As a society, we have single family detached housing, 20k vehicles that are mandatory for travel to work, and entry level jobs that are insecure. You can't "commit" to living in a specific area until you reach a certain point in your career. Safe, affordable housing with public transportation isn't really a thing in America, excluding a few metropolises in specific states. We built our whole country around the idea of the suburbs, and it takes until your early 30s to make enough money to live there, if you're lucky.
 
2020-09-05 11:06:02 AM  

Busta Clown Shoes: Pincy: Commander Lysdexic: Pincy: raerae1980: stamped human bacon: raerae1980: it feels very authoritarian to me to have a curfew as an adult.

It's not a curfew, it's a courtesy. Back in the day, it was more common.

It makes sense if you have young adults in the house, not when they're 30 or 40.  Respect and courtesy goes borh ways.

The person begging for a place to live should be making 99% of the sacrifices.

Psychopaths cannot understand familial bonds of love; everything is transactional to them.

No I understand it completely. The parents are demonstrating how much they love their children by taking them back in when they are in need. I think that is very touching. Now the children need to show that same love back by showing some simple common courtesy.

You're still making it a transaction.  That they give something back.  Real love means not expecting that of them, and them loving you means they will eventually show it back to you in some form.  But not specifically right away, tit for tat, I let you move in now you owe me something type of way.  This is assuming both you and they are not a-holes or bitter at life or slobs, etc. Basic courtesy of course applies.


Real love doesn't mean letting your kids walk all over you. To take that position is the epitome of entitlement.  People are allowed to have some semblance of self respect and control over their living conditions, especially when they are the ones getting up and going to work to maintain those living conditions.

I'm sorry, but when I was a young adult, if I was coming home from the bar at 3am on weeknights and waking my folks up, I would expect them to be pissed.  It was not how they raised me - that is a selfish act and not one that shows I love them.

By the same token, if my kids want to live with me when they grow up, I am happy to have them.  I love them.  But I am raising them to treat others with respect and to be considerate of others. That means that when someone has to go to work the next day, the rest of the people living there aren't coming home late and making a ton of noise.

The point is that it runs both ways - a "curfew" is a poorly communicated way of saying "I can't afford to be woken up at 3am by drunk you, please respect me and my livelihood by refraining from disrupting the sleep I need to function."  If a child can't understand that they have some growing up to do, somewhere else.
 
2020-09-05 11:14:22 AM  
Wouldn't you know that a thread about the state of our society would devolve into a thread about "but I can't possibly follow this line of thought, because it has nothing to do with me, and I worked hard for all my stuff, and nobody is going to get it." Of course you can't see beyond your own nose, and your own bank account. You're a good American consumer, just as trained.

Yeah, everybody can tell. If its all so wonderful, how come the most successful guy in the world isn't a basement-dwelling hermit who never needs anyone for anything, and the only reason we know he's alive is because he orders a bunch of stuff to be delivered?

That's what we're all working toward.
 
2020-09-05 11:15:39 AM  
My parents are both dead and gone, but my dad was an abusive, homophobic bigot with serious anger management issues--and I'm bisexual and the love of my life is a Jamaican-American woman.  That's someone I never wanted to live with ever again.
 
2020-09-05 11:15:45 AM  

King Something: 'Murica.


Trumps Great Murca
 
2020-09-05 11:16:09 AM  

bostonguy: Mugato: I dunno, I (sadly) live alone but what's wrong with living with your family?

Because your parents never stop treating you like a child. I'm almost 40, and they want to give me a curfew whenever I visit. And I still never feel like a full-fledged adult whenever I'm around them.


Pretty much this.  I moved out a week after graduating high school and with the exception of that summer, and my 3rd year of college when I had roommates, I've always lived alone.  My mother has an appointment on Wednesday for a test to find out of she has cancer, and if she does, her POS partner is unlikely to take care of her for long and she'll have to move in with me as she's disabled and doesn't have the means to support herself.  Even if she's taking chemo and doing radiation therapy, she's the type to insist on cooking every meal for me and cleaning the house and otherwise doing everything for me like when I was a child.  It's going to be annoying as hell.

/inb4 "whats wrong with someone cooking and cleaning for you?"
//I don't like anyone doing anything for me around the house
 
2020-09-05 11:19:08 AM  

Frederick: Maybe it simply means parents are worth living with again.
There were a couple generations of parents that kids just couldnt wait to get away from.


Or maybe it means the 1% is taking more and more of the economic pie over time which means less for everyone else....


Just maybe.....
 
2020-09-05 11:21:35 AM  

Frederick: Maybe it simply means parents are worth living with again.
There were a couple generations of parents that kids just couldnt wait to get away from.


Btw  the richest 1% in this nation became 543 Billion richer during the first 3 months of the pandemic.
 
2020-09-05 11:23:43 AM  

Mugato: I dunno, I (sadly) live alone but what's wrong with living with your family?


Nothing

Unless its out of economic necessity bec the economy cant provide jobs and the richest 1% are taking everyone to the cleaners.
 
2020-09-05 11:25:14 AM  

bostonguy: Mugato: I dunno, I (sadly) live alone but what's wrong with living with your family?

Because your parents never stop treating you like a child. I'm almost 40, and they want to give me a curfew whenever I visit. And I still never feel like a full-fledged adult whenever I'm around them.


Thank you

In the wild offspring move out on their own.  That is the nature of Life.
 
2020-09-05 11:26:12 AM  

raerae1980: bostonguy: Mugato: I dunno, I (sadly) live alone but what's wrong with living with your family?

Because your parents never stop treating you like a child. I'm almost 40, and they want to give me a curfew whenever I visit. And I still never feel like a full-fledged adult whenever I'm around them.

Same here (._.)
I didnt move out until i was 26, and i still had a curfew up to the day of my wedding.    It would be very hard for me to adjust living under their roof again.


Just be thankful they didnt insist on going on the honeymoon.   Giggle
 
2020-09-05 11:26:41 AM  

zeroman987: The point is that it runs both ways - a "curfew" is a poorly communicated way of saying "I can't afford to be woken up at 3am by drunk you, please respect me and my livelihood by refraining from disrupting the sleep I need to function."  If a child can't understand that they have some growing up to do, somewhere else.


That makes sense. We do lean on our highly rambunctious son when he and his friends disturb our daughter's sleep on a school night. While he lost his scholarships, she has worked very hard to retain hers. We love our son and his equally wacky friends. But, though they don't drink, he associates with some of the loudest people I have ever met. And they love to congregate at our house. The S.O. and I get a kick out of them. We provide them snacks and sometimes full meals. Having them around is a lot of fun. But we do draw the line at disturbing our daughter when she needs to study for exams or sleep so she can go to school the next day.
 
2020-09-05 11:26:48 AM  

Mister Peejay: keldaria: Honestly... all I can think of is how nice that would be.

No rent/mortgage payment
No utilities
Free meals
Free baby sitting (not that it's not currently free but it would almost always be there, my mother is a sweetheart)

If my wife ever divorces me, I'll be moving back in and staying until my bank account has the money to buy a house or my new Girlfriend demands I stop being a freeloader. Never could figure out why I was in such a rush to leave for my own place. My parents were awesome and I appreciate what they did for me now more than ever now that I have my daughter.

Sorry (not sorry), if you are an adult, you're going to be contributing by paying rent and utilities, and groceries, and maybe cooking every now and then.  You're not five anymore, act like it?


My parents wouldn't take my money. When they were alive my grandfather and father would fight over who got to pay the bill at a restaurant and would both try to leave the table early to go prepay the waiter on the sly. My granddad was just an old dairy farmer and didn't have much money either but still refused to accept any help. My dad then resorted to things like prepaying the heating oil or electric company so that the guy wouldn't have any choice. Both are dead but my mom is the same way. The kids stay at her place for childcare and we eat a lot of dinners over there. Still won't let me buy the food and if I bring over steaks or something she tries to give me money. I do make her let me repair things though even then she resists saying I need to just play with the grandkids and she will spend the hundreds of dollars on a technician.
 
2020-09-05 11:27:42 AM  

raerae1980: Gramma: bostonguy: Mugato: I dunno, I (sadly) live alone but what's wrong with living with your family?

Because your parents never stop treating you like a child. I'm almost 40, and they want to give me a curfew whenever I visit. And I still never feel like a full-fledged adult whenever I'm around them.

I'm  a bit like that. I don't want to hear the front door open at 4 am. Get in at a reasonable time or spend the  night somewhere else. And that is okay. You want to spend the night at your boyfriend's place?  Go for it.  You want to wake me  up and get  the dogs all spun up in the wee hours, NO.

I get the dogs thing (we dont have dogs), but otherwise it feels very authoritarian to me to have a curfew as an adult.  Your house, your rules, i get that too, but....did i mention id have a hard time living with my parents again? :-)


To be fair, you'd also be stuck in Pennsyltucky
 
2020-09-05 11:28:46 AM  

Mister Peejay: luna1580: i sorta hate to be the one to say this, but is multi-generational-housing actually BAD?

(in a pre-covid world, where killing the grandparents by breathing over dinner was never a thought. let's discuss the very IDEA.)

estados unidos in modern times pretty much invented, or at least WIDELY popularized, the idea of "living alone" apartments and that every newly married couple -OR AT LEAST that couple when they had a baby on the way- was a f*cking FAILURE if they didn't buy and move into a home all alone.

it's VERY arguable that for most of human existence on this planet people lived in multi-generational homes. or at the very least within easy walking distance of family and tribe members.


Came here to kinda say this... "since the Great Depression" is kind of an odd way to put it, since before WWII, multigenerational households was the norm, not the exception.  And after WWII was a much different way of life in the US.


Multigenerational households r quite popular in 3rd world countries too....

Stay tuned.
 
2020-09-05 11:30:37 AM  

tricycleracer: Gramma: bostonguy: Mugato: I dunno, I (sadly) live alone but what's wrong with living with your family?

Because your parents never stop treating you like a child. I'm almost 40, and they want to give me a curfew whenever I visit. And I still never feel like a full-fledged adult whenever I'm around them.

I'm  a bit like that. I don't want to hear the front door open at 4 am. Get in at a reasonable time or spend the  night somewhere else. And that is okay. You want to spend the night at your boyfriend's place?  Go for it.  You want to wake me  up and get  the dogs all spun up in the wee hours, NO.

Ain't no one spending the night anywhere if they all live at home.


Home is the place where
When you have to go there
They have to take you in.

Robert frost
 
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