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(CNN)   52% of young adults in the US are living with their parents, the highest share since the Great Depression   (cnn.com) divider line
    More: Sad, Great Depression, majority of young adults, young adults, Pew Research Center, Ethnic group, Depression, Business cycle, number of young adults  
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1864 clicks; posted to Main » and Politics » on 05 Sep 2020 at 9:35 AM (13 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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2020-09-05 4:12:31 AM  
48% of children in the US have their parents living with them, the highest share since the Great Depression
 
2020-09-05 4:14:50 AM  
'Murica.
 
2020-09-05 5:57:33 AM  
i sorta hate to be the one to say this, but is multi-generational-housing actually BAD?

(in a pre-covid world, where killing the grandparents by breathing over dinner was never a thought. let's discuss the very IDEA.)

estados unidos in modern times pretty much invented, or at least WIDELY popularized, the idea of "living alone" apartments and that every newly married couple -OR AT LEAST that couple when they had a baby on the way- was a f*cking FAILURE if they didn't buy and move into a home all alone.

it's VERY arguable that for most of human existence on this planet people lived in multi-generational homes. or at the very least within easy walking distance of family and tribe members.

other than "supporting" the LIE that "pure capitalism" offers the entire world "endless" economic expansion, WHY should every single human now born feel a "failure" if they don't end up in a brand new house, alone, with a spouse, or with a spouse and kids?

multi-generational houses are useful. the old and the middle aged help with the very young, and then everyone can help with the very old.

no other primate on earth shuns families and tribes for "a big new house ALL MY OWN!"

maybe it's time to act like the animals we are now.
 
2020-09-05 6:20:17 AM  
Maybe it simply means parents are worth living with again.
There were a couple generations of parents that kids just couldnt wait to get away from.
 
2020-09-05 6:55:00 AM  
Multi-generation homes were the norm until after WWII, when a strong economy and a new breed of marketing drones invented the idea that your kid was a loser if he didn't move out and go buy a house and a car and a wife and a white picket fence, and have 3.5 kids and a cat and a dog etc... spend spend spend, buy buy buy.

Even now, the "basement dwelling loser" is a holdover from that propaganda push. Because the fact that wages have stagnated while property costs have skyrocketed is an unimportant background detail, now go spend some money you useless drain on capitalism, you. The CEO wants a newer bigger yacht.
 
2020-09-05 9:08:11 AM  
I dunno, I (sadly) live alone but what's wrong with living with your family?
 
2020-09-05 9:21:15 AM  
*raises hand*

I've lived alone for 22 years up until last April when mom moved in. Lost my job in March and was officially laid off August 31st. I have my health insurance for one more month and then nada. Vegas is kicking the ball a little further down the street with the eviction moratorium but with no new conferences, shows, or events planned for the foreseeable future its not looking like I'll be self sufficient anytime soon.
 
2020-09-05 9:29:41 AM  

Mugato: I dunno, I (sadly) live alone but what's wrong with living with your family?


Because your parents never stop treating you like a child. I'm almost 40, and they want to give me a curfew whenever I visit. And I still never feel like a full-fledged adult whenever I'm around them.
 
2020-09-05 9:34:27 AM  

bostonguy: Mugato: I dunno, I (sadly) live alone but what's wrong with living with your family?

Because your parents never stop treating you like a child. I'm almost 40, and they want to give me a curfew whenever I visit. And I still never feel like a full-fledged adult whenever I'm around them.


Wow, that sucks.
 
2020-09-05 9:38:20 AM  

bostonguy: Mugato: I dunno, I (sadly) live alone but what's wrong with living with your family?

Because your parents never stop treating you like a child. I'm almost 40, and they want to give me a curfew whenever I visit. And I still never feel like a full-fledged adult whenever I'm around them.


Same here (._.)
I didnt move out until i was 26, and i still had a curfew up to the day of my wedding.    It would be very hard for me to adjust living under their roof again.
 
2020-09-05 9:38:31 AM  
Puffy Shirt Intro- Moving Back in With Parents
Youtube BTdj-S-NhDE
 
2020-09-05 9:41:11 AM  

Mugato: I dunno, I (sadly) live alone but what's wrong with living with your family?


There nothing inherently wrong with it. If just only do it if I failed.

The problem is that there are places where good jobs exist for me and there are places that are cheap to be retired in. There is no overlap.
 
2020-09-05 9:42:09 AM  
My parents are getting of the age one of us should probably move back and take care of them. My mother is, a bit toxic. So that could be challenging. She owns her home outright and draws SS though, so certainly takes the pressure off the bills if that did happen.
 
2020-09-05 9:42:31 AM  

bostonguy: Mugato: I dunno, I (sadly) live alone but what's wrong with living with your family?

Because your parents never stop treating you like a child. I'm almost 40, and they want to give me a curfew whenever I visit. And I still never feel like a full-fledged adult whenever I'm around them.


I'm  a bit like that. I don't want to hear the front door open at 4 am. Get in at a reasonable time or spend the  night somewhere else. And that is okay. You want to spend the night at your boyfriend's place?  Go for it.  You want to wake me  up and get  the dogs all spun up in the wee hours, NO.
 
2020-09-05 9:43:32 AM  

luna1580: i sorta hate to be the one to say this, but is multi-generational-housing actually BAD?

(in a pre-covid world, where killing the grandparents by breathing over dinner was never a thought. let's discuss the very IDEA.)

estados unidos in modern times pretty much invented, or at least WIDELY popularized, the idea of "living alone" apartments and that every newly married couple -OR AT LEAST that couple when they had a baby on the way- was a f*cking FAILURE if they didn't buy and move into a home all alone.

it's VERY arguable that for most of human existence on this planet people lived in multi-generational homes. or at the very least within easy walking distance of family and tribe members.



Came here to kinda say this... "since the Great Depression" is kind of an odd way to put it, since before WWII, multigenerational households was the norm, not the exception.  And after WWII was a much different way of life in the US.
 
2020-09-05 9:44:50 AM  

Gramma: Get in at a reasonable time or spend the  night somewhere else.


Username checks out.
 
2020-09-05 9:45:55 AM  
What's wrong with living with Mother?
vignette.wikia.nocookie.netView Full Size
 
2020-09-05 9:46:52 AM  

bostonguy: Mugato: I dunno, I (sadly) live alone but what's wrong with living with your family?

Because your parents never stop treating you like a child. I'm almost 40, and they want to give me a curfew whenever I visit. And I still never feel like a full-fledged adult whenever I'm around them.


That's why I live with older relatives who aren't my parents.  Kind of like the Duke cousins all living with Uncle Jesse, except there's only one of me.  At least I got the cool car.
 
2020-09-05 9:47:47 AM  

Gramma: bostonguy: Mugato: I dunno, I (sadly) live alone but what's wrong with living with your family?

Because your parents never stop treating you like a child. I'm almost 40, and they want to give me a curfew whenever I visit. And I still never feel like a full-fledged adult whenever I'm around them.

I'm  a bit like that. I don't want to hear the front door open at 4 am. Get in at a reasonable time or spend the  night somewhere else. And that is okay. You want to spend the night at your boyfriend's place?  Go for it.  You want to wake me  up and get  the dogs all spun up in the wee hours, NO.


Ain't no one spending the night anywhere if they all live at home.
 
2020-09-05 9:48:32 AM  
Here in Israel, many, if not most, of Jews of Middle Eastern origin -- Jews from countries ranging from Morocco to Yemen to Iran -- live with their families until marriage.

A girl I dated has a father who will not allow her to live alone until she is married. They don't even care if she comes home in the morning from staying at a date's apartment. They just don't want her to live alone.

This whole thing is a lot less common among Jews of European origin.
 
2020-09-05 9:50:34 AM  

Gramma: bostonguy: Mugato: I dunno, I (sadly) live alone but what's wrong with living with your family?

Because your parents never stop treating you like a child. I'm almost 40, and they want to give me a curfew whenever I visit. And I still never feel like a full-fledged adult whenever I'm around them.

I'm  a bit like that. I don't want to hear the front door open at 4 am. Get in at a reasonable time or spend the  night somewhere else. And that is okay. You want to spend the night at your boyfriend's place?  Go for it.  You want to wake me  up and get  the dogs all spun up in the wee hours, NO.


I get the dogs thing (we dont have dogs), but otherwise it feels very authoritarian to me to have a curfew as an adult.  Your house, your rules, i get that too, but....did i mention id have a hard time living with my parents again? :-)
 
2020-09-05 9:52:13 AM  
As a Farker with his soon to be 39 year old son living with me, I'm getting a kick out of the replies.
 
2020-09-05 9:53:20 AM  
We're in a depression now, and everybody but Wall Street knows it.
1929 called - they didn't say anything - just heavy breathing.
 
2020-09-05 9:53:49 AM  

the_celt: As a Farker with his soon to be 39 year old son living with me, I'm getting a kick out of the replies.


Are you going to give him a curfew?

/ serious not serious
 
2020-09-05 9:55:18 AM  

luna1580: i sorta hate to be the one to say this, but is multi-generational-housing actually BAD?

(in a pre-covid world, where killing the grandparents by breathing over dinner was never a thought. let's discuss the very IDEA.)

estados unidos in modern times pretty much invented, or at least WIDELY popularized, the idea of "living alone" apartments and that every newly married couple -OR AT LEAST that couple when they had a baby on the way- was a f*cking FAILURE if they didn't buy and move into a home all alone.

it's VERY arguable that for most of human existence on this planet people lived in multi-generational homes. or at the very least within easy walking distance of family and tribe members.

other than "supporting" the LIE that "pure capitalism" offers the entire world "endless" economic expansion, WHY should every single human now born feel a "failure" if they don't end up in a brand new house, alone, with a spouse, or with a spouse and kids?

multi-generational houses are useful. the old and the middle aged help with the very young, and then everyone can help with the very old.

no other primate on earth shuns families and tribes for "a big new house ALL MY OWN!"

maybe it's time to act like the animals we are now.


America Way Good, All other ways bad because they are all full of rapists and stuff.

OTOH  the family is already broken because 1/2 of US marriages end up in divorce.  Contrast that with Mexico where there is no stigma attached to  living with Mom and the divorce rate is 1/3 that of the US.  People are more inclined to make shiat work.
 
2020-09-05 9:56:33 AM  
Honestly... all I can think of is how nice that would be.

No rent/mortgage payment
No utilities
Free meals
Free baby sitting (not that it's not currently free but it would almost always be there, my mother is a sweetheart)

If my wife ever divorces me, I'll be moving back in and staying until my bank account has the money to buy a house or my new Girlfriend demands I stop being a freeloader. Never could figure out why I was in such a rush to leave for my own place. My parents were awesome and I appreciate what they did for me now more than ever now that I have my daughter.
 
2020-09-05 9:56:53 AM  

jso2897: We're in a depression now, and everybody but Wall Street knows it.
1929 called - they didn't say anything - just heavy breathing.


I wouldn't go that far.

The 1929 and 2008 crashes had underlying major economic issues. This one is artificial and forced.

As soon as the pandemic is over, things should return to 90% normal relatively quickly. (That's what happened after the Spanish Flu.) The hard part is keeping everything together until the pandemic is over. Governments should be giving money to people so they can survive. And everyone needs to keep distant and wear their damn masks, or the pandemic will not end.

/ rant over
 
2020-09-05 9:57:11 AM  
I know a bunch of people who are funding their kid's housing as well.
 
2020-09-05 9:58:25 AM  

luna1580: i sorta hate to be the one to say this, but is multi-generational-housing actually BAD?



Excellent point.  My wife was raised by her grandparents and at this time, her two "adult" children are living with her ex's mother.  I was a kid in the 1950s when the whole nuclear family idea was propagated.  There were multi-generational families in the neighborhood, almost all Italian.  Those families seemed to have fewer problems, at least ones that became public. No latchkey kids in those families.
 
2020-09-05 9:58:31 AM  
Banging the wife, getting frisky in the yard, basically *everything* sex is awkward when your mom is watching.

/unless you're into that
 
2020-09-05 9:58:39 AM  

raerae1980: it feels very authoritarian to me to have a curfew as an adult.


It's not a curfew, it's a courtesy. Back in the day, it was more common.
 
2020-09-05 10:00:46 AM  
Yeah, but only like half that are boning their step parents.

So I've heard.
 
2020-09-05 10:03:05 AM  
Alternative headline: "Millenials are killing the rental and real estate markets"
 
2020-09-05 10:03:26 AM  

bostonguy: jso2897: We're in a depression now, and everybody but Wall Street knows it.
1929 called - they didn't say anything - just heavy breathing.

I wouldn't go that far.

The 1929 and 2008 crashes had underlying major economic issues. This one is artificial and forced.

As soon as the pandemic is over, things should return to 90% normal relatively quickly. (That's what happened after the Spanish Flu.) The hard part is keeping everything together until the pandemic is over. Governments should be giving money to people so they can survive. And everyone needs to keep distant and wear their damn masks, or the pandemic will not end.

/ rant over


Well, we can never really have another "great depression" - monetary policy won't allow an actual money scarcity like that  to occur. I don't agree that it is forced - I think it is fundamental, and caused by Trump's horrid tax and business policies - the pandemic is just a trigger event.
This will be structured like 2008, be worse, and last longer.

/Predictions over.
 
2020-09-05 10:03:34 AM  

luna1580: i sorta hate to be the one to say this, but is multi-generational-housing actually BAD?

(in a pre-covid world, where killing the grandparents by breathing over dinner was never a thought. let's discuss the very IDEA.)

estados unidos in modern times pretty much invented, or at least WIDELY popularized, the idea of "living alone" apartments and that every newly married couple -OR AT LEAST that couple when they had a baby on the way- was a f*cking FAILURE if they didn't buy and move into a home all alone.

it's VERY arguable that for most of human existence on this planet people lived in multi-generational homes. or at the very least within easy walking distance of family and tribe members.

other than "supporting" the LIE that "pure capitalism" offers the entire world "endless" economic expansion, WHY should every single human now born feel a "failure" if they don't end up in a brand new house, alone, with a spouse, or with a spouse and kids?

multi-generational houses are useful. the old and the middle aged help with the very young, and then everyone can help with the very old.

no other primate on earth shuns families and tribes for "a big new house ALL MY OWN!"

maybe it's time to act like the animals we are now.


It depends on if it is forced by economic tragedy.
 
2020-09-05 10:04:17 AM  

LeftisRightisWrong: Alternative headline: "Millenials are killing the rental and real estate markets"


Bostonguy's rule: Whenever you read "millennials are killing" something, replace "are killing" with "can no longer afford."
 
2020-09-05 10:04:51 AM  

raerae1980: Gramma: bostonguy: Mugato: I dunno, I (sadly) live alone but what's wrong with living with your family?

Because your parents never stop treating you like a child. I'm almost 40, and they want to give me a curfew whenever I visit. And I still never feel like a full-fledged adult whenever I'm around them.

I'm  a bit like that. I don't want to hear the front door open at 4 am. Get in at a reasonable time or spend the  night somewhere else. And that is okay. You want to spend the night at your boyfriend's place?  Go for it.  You want to wake me  up and get  the dogs all spun up in the wee hours, NO.

I get the dogs thing (we dont have dogs), but otherwise it feels very authoritarian to me to have a curfew as an adult.  Your house, your rules, i get that too, but....did i mention id have a hard time living with my parents again? :-)


It's all about compromises. I have a 22 year old at home. I am a light sleeper and I need to get a solid night's sleep. Once I retire and I can  take a nap if my sleep is disturbed, I'll probably ease up on the curfew. But until then, I have to work all day and it really sucks if she wakes me up in the night - especially if it is several days in a row.  In exchange,I put up with her music and - before covid - having friends over and multiple tanks with reptiles. I've given her the spare bedroom to use for her hobbies. And she doesn't pay rent.  She puts up with the dogs and me watching TV.  For the most part, we are okay with the arrangement.
 
2020-09-05 10:06:25 AM  

raerae1980: bostonguy: Mugato: I dunno, I (sadly) live alone but what's wrong with living with your family?

Because your parents never stop treating you like a child. I'm almost 40, and they want to give me a curfew whenever I visit. And I still never feel like a full-fledged adult whenever I'm around them.

Same here (._.)
I didnt move out until i was 26, and i still had a curfew up to the day of my wedding.    It would be very hard for me to adjust living under their roof again.


That's around the age I moved out. Honestly I had the cash saved up from living at home and was engaged. Fortunately I realized the dude was a toxic waste and gave back the ring. Two months later I was in my own apartment.
 
2020-09-05 10:06:37 AM  

luna1580: i sorta hate to be the one to say this, but is multi-generational-housing actually BAD?

(in a pre-covid world, where killing the grandparents by breathing over dinner was never a thought. let's discuss the very IDEA.)

estados unidos in modern times pretty much invented, or at least WIDELY popularized, the idea of "living alone" apartments and that every newly married couple -OR AT LEAST that couple when they had a baby on the way- was a f*cking FAILURE if they didn't buy and move into a home all alone.

it's VERY arguable that for most of human existence on this planet people lived in multi-generational homes. or at the very least within easy walking distance of family and tribe members.

other than "supporting" the LIE that "pure capitalism" offers the entire world "endless" economic expansion, WHY should every single human now born feel a "failure" if they don't end up in a brand new house, alone, with a spouse, or with a spouse and kids?

multi-generational houses are useful. the old and the middle aged help with the very young, and then everyone can help with the very old.

no other primate on earth shuns families and tribes for "a big new house ALL MY OWN!"

maybe it's time to act like the animals we are now.


The problem is that there isn't the financial option to go out on their own, and that option was there for everybody after the Great Depression to a greater degree than there is now.  It's a giant sign of economic stress, which is the real point of the article.

And if folks have a relationship with their parents that makes living with them a non-insane environment, then good for them, and also they should remember that there are a huge number of families that don't work like that, even healthy ones.
 
2020-09-05 10:09:07 AM  

bostonguy: LeftisRightisWrong: Alternative headline: "Millenials are killing the rental and real estate markets"

Bostonguy's rule: Whenever you read "millennials are killing" something, replace "are killing" with "can no longer afford."


Yep, I can confirm that :(
 
2020-09-05 10:09:39 AM  

bloobeary: Multi-generation homes were the norm until after WWII, when a strong economy and a new breed of marketing drones invented the idea that your kid was a loser if he didn't move out and go buy a house and a car and a wife and a white picket fence, and have 3.5 kids and a cat and a dog etc... spend spend spend, buy buy buy.

Even now, the "basement dwelling loser" is a holdover from that propaganda push. Because the fact that wages have stagnated while property costs have skyrocketed is an unimportant background detail, now go spend some money you useless drain on capitalism, you. The CEO wants a newer bigger yacht.


And the CEO lives in a faux castle, that makes the fictional Ewing Texas ranch house look wee and twee, that houses a multi-generation family. While others struggle to help their kids with gas money so they can see their kids and grandkids on holidays, the CEO sees and enjoys his family almost every day.
 
2020-09-05 10:10:24 AM  

tricycleracer: Gramma: bostonguy: Mugato: I dunno, I (sadly) live alone but what's wrong with living with your family?

Because your parents never stop treating you like a child. I'm almost 40, and they want to give me a curfew whenever I visit. And I still never feel like a full-fledged adult whenever I'm around them.

I'm  a bit like that. I don't want to hear the front door open at 4 am. Get in at a reasonable time or spend the  night somewhere else. And that is okay. You want to spend the night at your boyfriend's place?  Go for it.  You want to wake me  up and get  the dogs all spun up in the wee hours, NO.

Ain't no one spending the night anywhere if they all live at home.


My daughter has had friends stay over and she's stayed over at other friends' houses. They sometimes do a 'movie night' where a handful will gather in one house and watch movies all night.  (pre covid) .  If its a Friday or Saturday night, its fine. But don't keep me up half the night  on  a  goddamn Tuesday.
 
2020-09-05 10:10:36 AM  

King Something: 'Murica.


Mullenials
 
2020-09-05 10:12:20 AM  

stamped human bacon: raerae1980: it feels very authoritarian to me to have a curfew as an adult.

It's not a curfew, it's a courtesy. Back in the day, it was more common.


It makes sense if you have young adults in the house, not when they're 30 or 40.  Respect and courtesy goes borh ways.
 
2020-09-05 10:13:13 AM  

bloobeary: Because the fact that wages have stagnated while property costs have skyrocketed


Let's also add in the meteoric rise in education debt; it's a triple-whammy of the double-bind, with millennials being singled out.
 
2020-09-05 10:13:40 AM  
A lot of these 'well is it so bad?' responses are just begging for either an old economy Steve meme or an 'OK, boomer' reply.

/just sayin'
//ducks
///always three
 
2020-09-05 10:15:19 AM  
My parents are both dead so I live with my bootstraps.
 
2020-09-05 10:16:46 AM  

bostonguy: Mugato: I dunno, I (sadly) live alone but what's wrong with living with your family?

Because your parents never stop treating you like a child. I'm almost 40, and they want to give me a curfew whenever I visit. And I still never feel like a full-fledged adult whenever I'm around them.


That's ridiculous. When they were 14, I told my kids, give me an idea of when I should alert the police department to search for you or start calling hospital emergency rooms and there will be no need for a curfew. They have always been good about communicating whether they will be back by 8:00 pm; out until at least 4 am; highly likely to be out all night; or highly likely to be gone for a couple of days. They both worked and started going on trips with friends when they were still in high school. They are now 20 and 21. If I didn't give them a curfew in the 9th grade, why would I do it now?

Your parents are pushing you away and making it harder for you too be there for them. Let's face it, physically, if not financially, they are far more likely to need you in the house than you are to need them in the house. If they are not absolutely crazy people, maybe you should sit them down and talk to them.
 
2020-09-05 10:19:10 AM  

Bruscar: If they are not absolutely crazy people, maybe you should sit them down and talk to them.


I told them a while ago that if they continue to support Donald Trump, I will never speak to them again. We have not spoken since.
 
2020-09-05 10:21:54 AM  

bostonguy: LeftisRightisWrong: Alternative headline: "Millenials are killing the rental and real estate markets"

Bostonguy's rule: Whenever you read "millennials are killing" something, replace "are killing" with "can no longer afford."


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-09-05 10:22:02 AM  

Gramma: bostonguy: Mugato: I dunno, I (sadly) live alone but what's wrong with living with your family?

Because your parents never stop treating you like a child. I'm almost 40, and they want to give me a curfew whenever I visit. And I still never feel like a full-fledged adult whenever I'm around them.

I'm  a bit like that. I don't want to hear the front door open at 4 am. Get in at a reasonable time or spend the  night somewhere else. And that is okay. You want to spend the night at your boyfriend's place?  Go for it.  You want to wake me  up and get  the dogs all spun up in the wee hours, NO.


You had to put up with that and more from your roommate in or just after college. If your children are adults, treat them like adults just as you did with your roommates. And buy a white noise machine and take some Melatonin.
 
2020-09-05 10:24:43 AM  
Although the article says nothing about it, I wonder if a fraction of the young adults now living with their parents are doing so because their own kids' daycares closed due to the pandemic. My sister and her husband went all of one week in March of juggling work-from-home and taking care of a 1-year-old before moving in with my parents. It was either that or one of them quitting their jobs.

/Still hoping to be able to send my yet-to-be-born child to daycare early next year
//Who am I kidding, we could be at 100k new cases/day by then
///Sigh
 
2020-09-05 10:25:58 AM  

stamped human bacon: raerae1980: it feels very authoritarian to me to have a curfew as an adult.

It's not a curfew, it's a courtesy. Back in the day, it was more common.


Agreed, if you to move back in with your parents and they are kind enough to take you in then you should be thankful enough by not being an asshole.
 
2020-09-05 10:27:06 AM  

Prank Call of Cthulhu: Gramma: Get in at a reasonable time or spend the  night somewhere else.

Username checks out.


I don't know. My parents were dysfunctional as hell. We were sometimes sent to live with grandparents. We loved it because, in addition to a distinct lack of physical violence, we had so much more freedom. My grandparents' idea of a curfew for teenagers was "Do you think you can make it back by eleven?"

If the answer was no, they told one of the younger kids "I'm too old to get up in the middle of the night. When your sister gets home, get up and make sure she can get in the house."
 
2020-09-05 10:27:18 AM  

Pr1nc3ss: My parents are both dead so I live with my bootstraps.


Yeah, sorry about that.
 
2020-09-05 10:29:34 AM  

raerae1980: stamped human bacon: raerae1980: it feels very authoritarian to me to have a curfew as an adult.

It's not a curfew, it's a courtesy. Back in the day, it was more common.

It makes sense if you have young adults in the house, not when they're 30 or 40.  Respect and courtesy goes borh ways.


The person begging for a place to live should be making 99% of the sacrifices.
 
2020-09-05 10:29:49 AM  

Pincy: stamped human bacon: raerae1980: it feels very authoritarian to me to have a curfew as an adult.

It's not a curfew, it's a courtesy. Back in the day, it was more common.

Agreed, if you to move back in with your parents and they are kind enough to take you in then you should be thankful enough by not being an asshole.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-09-05 10:32:16 AM  

Pincy: raerae1980: stamped human bacon: raerae1980: it feels very authoritarian to me to have a curfew as an adult.

It's not a curfew, it's a courtesy. Back in the day, it was more common.

It makes sense if you have young adults in the house, not when they're 30 or 40.  Respect and courtesy goes borh ways.

The person begging for a place to live should be making 99% of the sacrifices.


Hence why i said "my house, my rules" dude. :-)
 
2020-09-05 10:32:39 AM  

stamped human bacon: raerae1980: it feels very authoritarian to me to have a curfew as an adult.

It's not a curfew, it's a courtesy. Back in the day, it was more common.


For me the courtesy part is letting me know when or whether I should start searching emergency rooms or initiate a search. Trying to control when other adults go out and trying to control the social lives of adults just strikes me as ... well ... controlling.
 
2020-09-05 10:32:49 AM  

luna1580: i sorta hate to be the one to say this, but is multi-generational-housing actually BAD?

(in a pre-covid world, where killing the grandparents by breathing over dinner was never a thought. let's discuss the very IDEA.)

estados unidos in modern times pretty much invented, or at least WIDELY popularized, the idea of "living alone" apartments and that every newly married couple -OR AT LEAST that couple when they had a baby on the way- was a f*cking FAILURE if they didn't buy and move into a home all alone.

it's VERY arguable that for most of human existence on this planet people lived in multi-generational homes. or at the very least within easy walking distance of family and tribe members.

other than "supporting" the LIE that "pure capitalism" offers the entire world "endless" economic expansion, WHY should every single human now born feel a "failure" if they don't end up in a brand new house, alone, with a spouse, or with a spouse and kids?

multi-generational houses are useful. the old and the middle aged help with the very young, and then everyone can help with the very old.

no other primate on earth shuns families and tribes for "a big new house ALL MY OWN!"

maybe it's time to act like the animals we are now.


Back at home then?
 
2020-09-05 10:32:59 AM  

Bruscar: Gramma: bostonguy: Mugato: I dunno, I (sadly) live alone but what's wrong with living with your family?

Because your parents never stop treating you like a child. I'm almost 40, and they want to give me a curfew whenever I visit. And I still never feel like a full-fledged adult whenever I'm around them.

I'm  a bit like that. I don't want to hear the front door open at 4 am. Get in at a reasonable time or spend the  night somewhere else. And that is okay. You want to spend the night at your boyfriend's place?  Go for it.  You want to wake me  up and get  the dogs all spun up in the wee hours, NO.

You had to put up with that and more from your roommate in or just after college. If your children are adults, treat them like adults just as you did with your roommates. And buy a white noise machine and take some Melatonin.


Wow lot's of whiny entitlement showing up in this thread. If you are lucky enough to have parents who are willing to take you back in in your time of need it is you who should work around their rules.
 
2020-09-05 10:34:10 AM  

Gramma: tricycleracer: Gramma: bostonguy: Mugato: I dunno, I (sadly) live alone but what's wrong with living with your family?

Because your parents never stop treating you like a child. I'm almost 40, and they want to give me a curfew whenever I visit. And I still never feel like a full-fledged adult whenever I'm around them.

I'm  a bit like that. I don't want to hear the front door open at 4 am. Get in at a reasonable time or spend the  night somewhere else. And that is okay. You want to spend the night at your boyfriend's place?  Go for it.  You want to wake me  up and get  the dogs all spun up in the wee hours, NO.

Ain't no one spending the night anywhere if they all live at home.

My daughter has had friends stay over and she's stayed over at other friends' houses. They sometimes do a 'movie night' where a handful will gather in one house and watch movies all night.  (pre covid) .  If its a Friday or Saturday night, its fine. But don't keep me up half the night  on  a  goddamn Tuesday.


For them, the day movie night was at your house was the most important day of their life.  But for you, it was Tuesday.
 
2020-09-05 10:34:20 AM  

Pincy: raerae1980: stamped human bacon: raerae1980: it feels very authoritarian to me to have a curfew as an adult.

It's not a curfew, it's a courtesy. Back in the day, it was more common.

It makes sense if you have young adults in the house, not when they're 30 or 40.  Respect and courtesy goes borh ways.

The person begging for a place to live should be making 99% of the sacrifices.


Psychopaths cannot understand familial bonds of love; everything is transactional to them.
 
2020-09-05 10:36:22 AM  

Commander Lysdexic: Pincy: stamped human bacon: raerae1980: it feels very authoritarian to me to have a curfew as an adult.

It's not a curfew, it's a courtesy. Back in the day, it was more common.

Agreed, if you to move back in with your parents and they are kind enough to take you in then you should be thankful enough by not being an asshole.

[Fark user image image 850x479]


Sorry, not a boomer. Just treat people with respect instead of expecting everyone to put up with my crap, especially if they are giving me free room and board. I guess that's an outdated notion now?
 
2020-09-05 10:38:08 AM  

bostonguy: Mugato: I dunno, I (sadly) live alone but what's wrong with living with your family?

Because your parents never stop treating you like a child. I'm almost 40, and they want to give me a curfew whenever I visit. And I still never feel like a full-fledged adult whenever I'm around them.


This. My mom is awesome but she cannot help but see her little boy when when I visit. It's tedious after a day or two. I was always an independent child and I am still that way as an adult.
 
2020-09-05 10:39:56 AM  
I have three younger brothers. Everyone of us got out of the house the minute we could figure out a way to do it and every one of us moved pretty much as far away from my mother as was physically possible and still stay in the US. Well, except for me, I joined the Navy in the middle of my senior year on delayed entry so I could be put on a ship on the other side of the planet the minute I was done with high school with mail being the only way for my mother to hassle me.

Brother #2 left home at 17 from Mobile AL to find me in NYC.
Brother #3 left home at 17 from Naples, Italy to Long Island, NY (Step dad had a contract in Italy at the time)
Brother #4 left home at 18 from Mobile AL to Seattle WA.

We have been trying to figure out how we are going to take care of my mother for a few years now. It won't be to much longer before she cannot shop and take care of herself. None of us are willing to take her in or live with her even part time. She is so toxic that my brothers keep visits with the kids down to a few hours a couple of times a year. A couple of hours is about the limit any sane person can spend around her before you start getting the urge to push her off a roof. I personally will not be anywhere near her and do not talk to her and have not spoke to her since 1987. Anything about her has to go through one of my brothers and they get it, they take turns dealing with her bullshiat.  It is looking like we will all be chipping in to put her into a home at some point soon, my vote was raft and push her out into the North Atlantic without a paddle, but they voted against it, knowing how mean my mother is they figured she would probably survive and might make her way to Nova Scotia or Canada which would most likely start some kind of international incident.

So not to concerned about anyone in our family moving back in with mom.
 
2020-09-05 10:41:10 AM  
Living with your folks...
The beginning of the end.
Drab yesterdays shutting out
beautiful tomorrows.
Hideous footsteps creaking along
the misty corridors of time,
and in those corridors I see figures.
Strange figures.
Weird figures:
Steel 186, Anaconda 74,
American Can 138.

external-content.duckduckgo.comView Full Size


/pardon me while I have a strange interlude.
 
2020-09-05 10:41:52 AM  

Pincy: raerae1980: stamped human bacon: raerae1980: it feels very authoritarian to me to have a curfew as an adult.

It's not a curfew, it's a courtesy. Back in the day, it was more common.

It makes sense if you have young adults in the house, not when they're 30 or 40.  Respect and courtesy goes borh ways.

The person begging for a place to live should be making 99% of the sacrifices.


Why would your own offspring need to beg for a place to live?

I suspect you are the kind of "parent" that doesn't need to worry about the adult kids moving home  -  ever.

You might want to choose and pre-fund your own in-home caregivers and nursing home though. I don't see people who had to beg their father for the basics of human survival going way extra-curricular when caring for you in your old age.
 
2020-09-05 10:41:55 AM  
Good. The stigma of multigenerational living is absurd. As long your parents aren't massive assholes, stay there and save money until you can afford more freedom.

When I last changed jobs in 2013, I lived at home for a few months. My old apartment's lease didn't expire until July and I got a job a good distance away. I couldn't afford to break the lease, I couldn't afford to pay double rent on two places, and I could barely afford to commute a huge drive every day. So, I went home and saved my first few months pay. I drove back on the weekends and cleared my stuff out on my schedule.
 
2020-09-05 10:42:04 AM  

stamped human bacon: raerae1980: it feels very authoritarian to me to have a curfew as an adult.

It's not a curfew, it's a courtesy. Back in the day, it was more common.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-09-05 10:42:58 AM  

Commander Lysdexic: Pincy: raerae1980: stamped human bacon: raerae1980: it feels very authoritarian to me to have a curfew as an adult.

It's not a curfew, it's a courtesy. Back in the day, it was more common.

It makes sense if you have young adults in the house, not when they're 30 or 40.  Respect and courtesy goes borh ways.

The person begging for a place to live should be making 99% of the sacrifices.

Psychopaths cannot understand familial bonds of love; everything is transactional to them.


No I understand it completely. The parents are demonstrating how much they love their children by taking them back in when they are in need. I think that is very touching. Now the children need to show that same love back by showing some simple common courtesy.
 
2020-09-05 10:43:46 AM  

Pincy: Bruscar: Gramma: bostonguy: Mugato: I dunno, I (sadly) live alone but what's wrong with living with your family?

Because your parents never stop treating you like a child. I'm almost 40, and they want to give me a curfew whenever I visit. And I still never feel like a full-fledged adult whenever I'm around them.

I'm  a bit like that. I don't want to hear the front door open at 4 am. Get in at a reasonable time or spend the  night somewhere else. And that is okay. You want to spend the night at your boyfriend's place?  Go for it.  You want to wake me  up and get  the dogs all spun up in the wee hours, NO.

You had to put up with that and more from your roommate in or just after college. If your children are adults, treat them like adults just as you did with your roommates. And buy a white noise machine and take some Melatonin.

Wow lot's of whiny entitlement showing up in this thread. If you are lucky enough to have parents who are willing to take you back in in your time of need it is you who should work around their rules.


Dude, I am the parent. My adult kids live with me. Take your "whiny entitlement" bullshiat and shove it up your lonely ass.
 
2020-09-05 10:44:00 AM  

Pincy: Commander Lysdexic: Pincy: stamped human bacon: raerae1980: it feels very authoritarian to me to have a curfew as an adult.

It's not a curfew, it's a courtesy. Back in the day, it was more common.

Agreed, if you to move back in with your parents and they are kind enough to take you in then you should be thankful enough by not being an asshole.

[Fark user image image 850x479]

Sorry, not a boomer. Just treat people with respect instead of expecting everyone to put up with my crap, especially if they are giving me free room and board. I guess that's an outdated notion now?


I'm sorry you have parents who are unwilling to go to any effort to help you, if you were to become homeless, without putting a myriad of conditions upon their assistance.
You appear to have been raised without much love, and I feel sorry for you.
 
2020-09-05 10:49:22 AM  

Commander Lysdexic: Pincy: Commander Lysdexic: Pincy: stamped human bacon: raerae1980: it feels very authoritarian to me to have a curfew as an adult.

It's not a curfew, it's a courtesy. Back in the day, it was more common.

Agreed, if you to move back in with your parents and they are kind enough to take you in then you should be thankful enough by not being an asshole.

[Fark user image image 850x479]

Sorry, not a boomer. Just treat people with respect instead of expecting everyone to put up with my crap, especially if they are giving me free room and board. I guess that's an outdated notion now?

I'm sorry you have parents who are unwilling to go to any effort to help you, if you were to become homeless, without putting a myriad of conditions upon their assistance.
You appear to have been raised without much love, and I feel sorry for you.


I'm sure my parents would help me if I ever needed it. They would even let me move back in. But if I did I would try my best to minimize any disruptions to their daily routines. I understand that they have their own life and expect things in their own house to work a certain way. It's called common courtesy and respect. I didn't think it would be such a hot button issue but here we are.
 
2020-09-05 10:51:03 AM  
My hubby and I purposefully looked for and bought a two-family home last year for housing us and his daughter and grandson. I assumed multigenerational housing was going to become big again and I wanted to get something before it got too costly. I'm so happy we bought when we did.
 
2020-09-05 10:51:47 AM  

Mugato: Pr1nc3ss: My parents are both dead so I live with my bootstraps.

Yeah, sorry about that.


Better than still living with them, I guess.
 
2020-09-05 10:54:04 AM  

Someone Else's Alt: I have three younger brothers. Everyone of us got out of the house the minute we could figure out a way to do it and every one of us moved pretty much as far away from my mother as was physically possible and still stay in the US. Well, except for me, I joined the Navy in the middle of my senior year on delayed entry so I could be put on a ship on the other side of the planet the minute I was done with high school with mail being the only way for my mother to hassle me.

Brother #2 left home at 17 from Mobile AL to find me in NYC.
Brother #3 left home at 17 from Naples, Italy to Long Island, NY (Step dad had a contract in Italy at the time)
Brother #4 left home at 18 from Mobile AL to Seattle WA.

We have been trying to figure out how we are going to take care of my mother for a few years now. It won't be to much longer before she cannot shop and take care of herself. None of us are willing to take her in or live with her even part time. She is so toxic that my brothers keep visits with the kids down to a few hours a couple of times a year. A couple of hours is about the limit any sane person can spend around her before you start getting the urge to push her off a roof. I personally will not be anywhere near her and do not talk to her and have not spoke to her since 1987. Anything about her has to go through one of my brothers and they get it, they take turns dealing with her bullshiat.  It is looking like we will all be chipping in to put her into a home at some point soon, my vote was raft and push her out into the North Atlantic without a paddle, but they voted against it, knowing how mean my mother is they figured she would probably survive and might make her way to Nova Scotia or Canada which would most likely start some kind of international incident.

So not to concerned about anyone in our family moving back in with mom.


Don't hold back, SEA. This feels like your moment. Tell us. How do you REALLY feel about your mother?
 
2020-09-05 10:54:28 AM  

Pincy: Commander Lysdexic: Pincy: raerae1980: stamped human bacon: raerae1980: it feels very authoritarian to me to have a curfew as an adult.

It's not a curfew, it's a courtesy. Back in the day, it was more common.

It makes sense if you have young adults in the house, not when they're 30 or 40.  Respect and courtesy goes borh ways.

The person begging for a place to live should be making 99% of the sacrifices.

Psychopaths cannot understand familial bonds of love; everything is transactional to them.

No I understand it completely. The parents are demonstrating how much they love their children by taking them back in when they are in need. I think that is very touching. Now the children need to show that same love back by showing some simple common courtesy.


You're still making it a transaction.  That they give something back.  Real love means not expecting that of them, and them loving you means they will eventually show it back to you in some form.  But not specifically right away, tit for tat, I let you move in now you owe me something type of way.  This is assuming both you and they are not a-holes or bitter at life or slobs, etc. Basic courtesy of course applies.
 
2020-09-05 10:57:23 AM  

keldaria: Honestly... all I can think of is how nice that would be.

No rent/mortgage payment
No utilities
Free meals
Free baby sitting (not that it's not currently free but it would almost always be there, my mother is a sweetheart)

If my wife ever divorces me, I'll be moving back in and staying until my bank account has the money to buy a house or my new Girlfriend demands I stop being a freeloader. Never could figure out why I was in such a rush to leave for my own place. My parents were awesome and I appreciate what they did for me now more than ever now that I have my daughter.


Sorry (not sorry), if you are an adult, you're going to be contributing by paying rent and utilities, and groceries, and maybe cooking every now and then.  You're not five anymore, act like it?
 
2020-09-05 11:00:19 AM  

Por que tan serioso: Someone Else's Alt: I have three younger brothers. Everyone of us got out of the house the minute we could figure out a way to do it and every one of us moved pretty much as far away from my mother as was physically possible and still stay in the US. Well, except for me, I joined the Navy in the middle of my senior year on delayed entry so I could be put on a ship on the other side of the planet the minute I was done with high school with mail being the only way for my mother to hassle me.

Brother #2 left home at 17 from Mobile AL to find me in NYC.
Brother #3 left home at 17 from Naples, Italy to Long Island, NY (Step dad had a contract in Italy at the time)
Brother #4 left home at 18 from Mobile AL to Seattle WA.

We have been trying to figure out how we are going to take care of my mother for a few years now. It won't be to much longer before she cannot shop and take care of herself. None of us are willing to take her in or live with her even part time. She is so toxic that my brothers keep visits with the kids down to a few hours a couple of times a year. A couple of hours is about the limit any sane person can spend around her before you start getting the urge to push her off a roof. I personally will not be anywhere near her and do not talk to her and have not spoke to her since 1987. Anything about her has to go through one of my brothers and they get it, they take turns dealing with her bullshiat.  It is looking like we will all be chipping in to put her into a home at some point soon, my vote was raft and push her out into the North Atlantic without a paddle, but they voted against it, knowing how mean my mother is they figured she would probably survive and might make her way to Nova Scotia or Canada which would most likely start some kind of international incident.

So not to concerned about anyone in our family moving back in with mom.

Don't hold back, SEA. This feels like your moment. Tell us. How do you REALLY feel about your mother?


Pretty sure the Fark servers do not have enough capacity for me to fully vent about our issues with my mother.

But if you are REALLY that curious, I have been carrying around the same $100 bill in my wallet since I was 15 years old. It is so I can buy a celebratory round of drinks when I get the word that she has finally died.
 
2020-09-05 11:00:53 AM  
My observation is that if you're still living in the house where your kids grew up, they just automatically assume that they can come back and occupy their old bedroom at any time.  And bring their own children and partner along.

So there are a number of options:

. move out of the house where your kids grew up
. modify the bedrooms into fitness rooms, model railroad rooms, kinky sex rooms, whatever

Seriously though, this is an alarming statistic and is a true indication of where we stand economically.  Ask the young adults who have to live with their parents how many shares they own.
 
2020-09-05 11:02:58 AM  

jso2897: should be giving money to people so they can survive. And everyone needs to keep distant and wear their dam

Well, we can never really have another "great depression" - monetary policy won't allow an actual money scarcity like that  to occur. I don't agree that it is forced - I think it is fundamental, and caused by Trump's horrid tax and business policies - the pandemic is just a trigger event.
This will be structured like 2008, be worse, and last longer.

/Predictions over.


Well, maybe. But. The velocity of money is WAY down. There is enough money (the 0.1% and corporations are holding most of it), but it isn't moving around at all. Looks like we might be going to find out if you can have a depression where there is a whole lot of money, but 99% of people don't have enough to spend.
 
2020-09-05 11:04:12 AM  

Por que tan serioso: Someone Else's Alt: I have three younger brothers. Everyone of us got out of the house the minute we could figure out a way to do it and every one of us moved pretty much as far away from my mother as was physically possible and still stay in the US. Well, except for me, I joined the Navy in the middle of my senior year on delayed entry so I could be put on a ship on the other side of the planet the minute I was done with high school with mail being the only way for my mother to hassle me.

Brother #2 left home at 17 from Mobile AL to find me in NYC.
Brother #3 left home at 17 from Naples, Italy to Long Island, NY (Step dad had a contract in Italy at the time)
Brother #4 left home at 18 from Mobile AL to Seattle WA.

We have been trying to figure out how we are going to take care of my mother for a few years now. It won't be to much longer before she cannot shop and take care of herself. None of us are willing to take her in or live with her even part time. She is so toxic that my brothers keep visits with the kids down to a few hours a couple of times a year. A couple of hours is about the limit any sane person can spend around her before you start getting the urge to push her off a roof. I personally will not be anywhere near her and do not talk to her and have not spoke to her since 1987. Anything about her has to go through one of my brothers and they get it, they take turns dealing with her bullshiat.  It is looking like we will all be chipping in to put her into a home at some point soon, my vote was raft and push her out into the North Atlantic without a paddle, but they voted against it, knowing how mean my mother is they figured she would probably survive and might make her way to Nova Scotia or Canada which would most likely start some kind of international incident.

So not to concerned about anyone in our family moving back in with mom.

Don't hold back, SEA. This feels like your moment. Tell us. How do you REALLY feel about your mother?


Be grateful I didn't share how my siblings and I really feel about our father. Hint: We cared for our mother, but also we resented our mother for not leaving him when were kids until the day she died. Of five kids, there is one that visits our father. We have informed her that if she wants to take care of him, go for it. The rest of us have noped out. Kids raised in abusive households tend to be wacky like that.
 
2020-09-05 11:04:38 AM  

luna1580: i sorta hate to be the one to say this, but is multi-generational-housing actually BAD?
(in a pre-covid world, where killing the grandparents by breathing over dinner was never a thought. let's discuss the very IDEA.)
estados unidos in modern times pretty much invented, or at least WIDELY popularized, the idea of "living alone" apartments and that every newly married couple -OR AT LEAST that couple when they had a baby on the way- was a f*cking FAILURE if they didn't buy and move into a home all alone.
it's VERY arguable that for most of human existence on this planet people lived in multi-generational homes. or at the very least within easy walking distance of family and tribe members.
other than "supporting" the LIE that "pure capitalism" offers the entire world "endless" economic expansion, WHY should every single human now born feel a "failure" if they don't end up in a brand new house, alone, with a spouse, or with a spouse and kids?
multi-generational houses are useful. the old and the middle aged help with the very young, and then everyone can help with the very old.
no other primate on earth shuns families and tribes for "a big new house ALL MY OWN!"
maybe it's time to act like the animals we are now.


No.There's nothing wrong with it. The change was brought about by-----wait for it, no you already know this one---------marketing and advertising. Multi-generational, smaller homes use many fewer resources. Happy, supportive, functional families who help each other out are a drain on the capitalistic system, which depends on every one of us becoming RUGGED INDIVIDUALS who are lost in a forest of a modern confusing world, with no way out except to buy more things.

My son has always lived in my house, and I let him, and you know why? He's poor. I'm poor, but I have a roof over my head. So I share it with him. It's the most sensible thing in the world. The most unreasonable thing in the world is that I would expect him to incur a shiatload more expenses, move far away from me, and start making money in some alien city so that he can be alone with all his spiffy possessions, and probably commit suicide some day, because we've been through enough already, and the last thing he needs is to go be "successful" in some place where he's completely lost.

And we think this is normal. This is "progress." This isn't shiat--this is alienation of our family and societal support systems, to support the capitalistic one. Go get yourself a condo! Move to the city, start making bank, get some stuff! We've been brainwashed into thinking this is normal, just like we've been conditioned to think that putting babies into daycare so that the parents can work all day is perfectly normal too. IT'S NOT NORMAL.

My younger friend said to me once, I miss the days of women just sitting around in the mornings, drinking coffee and gossiping and taking care of the house and stuff. (She never had any of this--she's too young. She went to college and work.) I told her, But we don't get that anymore. Women didn't want that anymore, right? We had to EMANCIPATE ourselves, stop taking money from men, get careers, survive on our own. (Not that a lot of this isn't good. It gets women out of abusive relationships, but then they usually live in poverty, because our society isn't THAT equal yet.)

Support groups? Not your family--they have their own problems, and it's usually related to money, keeping up all their appearances. Try a bunch of strangers. Friends? Who has time? And your family......well, they all moved to the city, and they're making a ton of money, and well you know.
Look at the timeline--all of these things started happening in the golden age of consumerism, which was about the 70's and 80's. In the 70s, women went to work. They used to take care of family, but that bleeds off the capitalist system, so it had to go. So suddenly, we all had to go to work. It was what we WANTED. (I remember this--I was there.)

Did we want that, or was it advertising? Or did we want STUFF, just like we were told all day long, our entire lives? Well, fark, of course we want STUFF. And here we are, with our kids completely alienated from us and parked in front of screens their entire days, where they can suck up more of that rugged individual advertising, telling them how much happier they will be when they can shake off the shackles of----whatever, it can be anything, but you have to buy your way out of it---so that they can be INDEPENDENT, like the American Way. Rugged consumers, living out that American Dream by doing nothing that makes sense for their mental or emotional health, but just their bank accounts.

But this is what we all wanted, remember? This is what you all devote your farking lives to.
 
2020-09-05 11:05:02 AM  

bostonguy: jso2897: We're in a depression now, and everybody but Wall Street knows it.
1929 called - they didn't say anything - just heavy breathing.

I wouldn't go that far.

The 1929 and 2008 crashes had underlying major economic issues. This one is artificial and forced.

As soon as the pandemic is over, things should return to 90% normal relatively quickly. (That's what happened after the Spanish Flu.) The hard part is keeping everything together until the pandemic is over. Governments should be giving money to people so they can survive. And everyone needs to keep distant and wear their damn masks, or the pandemic will not end.

/ rant over


In March and April, I would agree, we're in an economic shock event. Now that we're six months into an economic shock event, every week this continues moves our expected recovery point away from "where it was" to "where it is".

Even if the recovery starts today and only takes a year, compare that to every past recession in modern history. Draw some different mental lines for the recovery and see what year "full employment" returns in. Terrifying. 
3.bp.blogspot.comView Full Size


On the topic of TFA, it's not so much that "living at home with your parents is inherently bad", more that it's a sign of people having no options. As a society, we have single family detached housing, 20k vehicles that are mandatory for travel to work, and entry level jobs that are insecure. You can't "commit" to living in a specific area until you reach a certain point in your career. Safe, affordable housing with public transportation isn't really a thing in America, excluding a few metropolises in specific states. We built our whole country around the idea of the suburbs, and it takes until your early 30s to make enough money to live there, if you're lucky.
 
2020-09-05 11:06:02 AM  

Busta Clown Shoes: Pincy: Commander Lysdexic: Pincy: raerae1980: stamped human bacon: raerae1980: it feels very authoritarian to me to have a curfew as an adult.

It's not a curfew, it's a courtesy. Back in the day, it was more common.

It makes sense if you have young adults in the house, not when they're 30 or 40.  Respect and courtesy goes borh ways.

The person begging for a place to live should be making 99% of the sacrifices.

Psychopaths cannot understand familial bonds of love; everything is transactional to them.

No I understand it completely. The parents are demonstrating how much they love their children by taking them back in when they are in need. I think that is very touching. Now the children need to show that same love back by showing some simple common courtesy.

You're still making it a transaction.  That they give something back.  Real love means not expecting that of them, and them loving you means they will eventually show it back to you in some form.  But not specifically right away, tit for tat, I let you move in now you owe me something type of way.  This is assuming both you and they are not a-holes or bitter at life or slobs, etc. Basic courtesy of course applies.


Real love doesn't mean letting your kids walk all over you. To take that position is the epitome of entitlement.  People are allowed to have some semblance of self respect and control over their living conditions, especially when they are the ones getting up and going to work to maintain those living conditions.

I'm sorry, but when I was a young adult, if I was coming home from the bar at 3am on weeknights and waking my folks up, I would expect them to be pissed.  It was not how they raised me - that is a selfish act and not one that shows I love them.

By the same token, if my kids want to live with me when they grow up, I am happy to have them.  I love them.  But I am raising them to treat others with respect and to be considerate of others. That means that when someone has to go to work the next day, the rest of the people living there aren't coming home late and making a ton of noise.

The point is that it runs both ways - a "curfew" is a poorly communicated way of saying "I can't afford to be woken up at 3am by drunk you, please respect me and my livelihood by refraining from disrupting the sleep I need to function."  If a child can't understand that they have some growing up to do, somewhere else.
 
2020-09-05 11:14:22 AM  
Wouldn't you know that a thread about the state of our society would devolve into a thread about "but I can't possibly follow this line of thought, because it has nothing to do with me, and I worked hard for all my stuff, and nobody is going to get it." Of course you can't see beyond your own nose, and your own bank account. You're a good American consumer, just as trained.

Yeah, everybody can tell. If its all so wonderful, how come the most successful guy in the world isn't a basement-dwelling hermit who never needs anyone for anything, and the only reason we know he's alive is because he orders a bunch of stuff to be delivered?

That's what we're all working toward.
 
2020-09-05 11:15:39 AM  
My parents are both dead and gone, but my dad was an abusive, homophobic bigot with serious anger management issues--and I'm bisexual and the love of my life is a Jamaican-American woman.  That's someone I never wanted to live with ever again.
 
2020-09-05 11:15:45 AM  

King Something: 'Murica.


Trumps Great Murca
 
2020-09-05 11:16:09 AM  

bostonguy: Mugato: I dunno, I (sadly) live alone but what's wrong with living with your family?

Because your parents never stop treating you like a child. I'm almost 40, and they want to give me a curfew whenever I visit. And I still never feel like a full-fledged adult whenever I'm around them.


Pretty much this.  I moved out a week after graduating high school and with the exception of that summer, and my 3rd year of college when I had roommates, I've always lived alone.  My mother has an appointment on Wednesday for a test to find out of she has cancer, and if she does, her POS partner is unlikely to take care of her for long and she'll have to move in with me as she's disabled and doesn't have the means to support herself.  Even if she's taking chemo and doing radiation therapy, she's the type to insist on cooking every meal for me and cleaning the house and otherwise doing everything for me like when I was a child.  It's going to be annoying as hell.

/inb4 "whats wrong with someone cooking and cleaning for you?"
//I don't like anyone doing anything for me around the house
 
2020-09-05 11:19:08 AM  

Frederick: Maybe it simply means parents are worth living with again.
There were a couple generations of parents that kids just couldnt wait to get away from.


Or maybe it means the 1% is taking more and more of the economic pie over time which means less for everyone else....


Just maybe.....
 
2020-09-05 11:21:35 AM  

Frederick: Maybe it simply means parents are worth living with again.
There were a couple generations of parents that kids just couldnt wait to get away from.


Btw  the richest 1% in this nation became 543 Billion richer during the first 3 months of the pandemic.
 
2020-09-05 11:23:43 AM  

Mugato: I dunno, I (sadly) live alone but what's wrong with living with your family?


Nothing

Unless its out of economic necessity bec the economy cant provide jobs and the richest 1% are taking everyone to the cleaners.
 
2020-09-05 11:25:14 AM  

bostonguy: Mugato: I dunno, I (sadly) live alone but what's wrong with living with your family?

Because your parents never stop treating you like a child. I'm almost 40, and they want to give me a curfew whenever I visit. And I still never feel like a full-fledged adult whenever I'm around them.


Thank you

In the wild offspring move out on their own.  That is the nature of Life.
 
2020-09-05 11:26:12 AM  

raerae1980: bostonguy: Mugato: I dunno, I (sadly) live alone but what's wrong with living with your family?

Because your parents never stop treating you like a child. I'm almost 40, and they want to give me a curfew whenever I visit. And I still never feel like a full-fledged adult whenever I'm around them.

Same here (._.)
I didnt move out until i was 26, and i still had a curfew up to the day of my wedding.    It would be very hard for me to adjust living under their roof again.


Just be thankful they didnt insist on going on the honeymoon.   Giggle
 
2020-09-05 11:26:41 AM  

zeroman987: The point is that it runs both ways - a "curfew" is a poorly communicated way of saying "I can't afford to be woken up at 3am by drunk you, please respect me and my livelihood by refraining from disrupting the sleep I need to function."  If a child can't understand that they have some growing up to do, somewhere else.


That makes sense. We do lean on our highly rambunctious son when he and his friends disturb our daughter's sleep on a school night. While he lost his scholarships, she has worked very hard to retain hers. We love our son and his equally wacky friends. But, though they don't drink, he associates with some of the loudest people I have ever met. And they love to congregate at our house. The S.O. and I get a kick out of them. We provide them snacks and sometimes full meals. Having them around is a lot of fun. But we do draw the line at disturbing our daughter when she needs to study for exams or sleep so she can go to school the next day.
 
2020-09-05 11:26:48 AM  

Mister Peejay: keldaria: Honestly... all I can think of is how nice that would be.

No rent/mortgage payment
No utilities
Free meals
Free baby sitting (not that it's not currently free but it would almost always be there, my mother is a sweetheart)

If my wife ever divorces me, I'll be moving back in and staying until my bank account has the money to buy a house or my new Girlfriend demands I stop being a freeloader. Never could figure out why I was in such a rush to leave for my own place. My parents were awesome and I appreciate what they did for me now more than ever now that I have my daughter.

Sorry (not sorry), if you are an adult, you're going to be contributing by paying rent and utilities, and groceries, and maybe cooking every now and then.  You're not five anymore, act like it?


My parents wouldn't take my money. When they were alive my grandfather and father would fight over who got to pay the bill at a restaurant and would both try to leave the table early to go prepay the waiter on the sly. My granddad was just an old dairy farmer and didn't have much money either but still refused to accept any help. My dad then resorted to things like prepaying the heating oil or electric company so that the guy wouldn't have any choice. Both are dead but my mom is the same way. The kids stay at her place for childcare and we eat a lot of dinners over there. Still won't let me buy the food and if I bring over steaks or something she tries to give me money. I do make her let me repair things though even then she resists saying I need to just play with the grandkids and she will spend the hundreds of dollars on a technician.
 
2020-09-05 11:27:42 AM  

raerae1980: Gramma: bostonguy: Mugato: I dunno, I (sadly) live alone but what's wrong with living with your family?

Because your parents never stop treating you like a child. I'm almost 40, and they want to give me a curfew whenever I visit. And I still never feel like a full-fledged adult whenever I'm around them.

I'm  a bit like that. I don't want to hear the front door open at 4 am. Get in at a reasonable time or spend the  night somewhere else. And that is okay. You want to spend the night at your boyfriend's place?  Go for it.  You want to wake me  up and get  the dogs all spun up in the wee hours, NO.

I get the dogs thing (we dont have dogs), but otherwise it feels very authoritarian to me to have a curfew as an adult.  Your house, your rules, i get that too, but....did i mention id have a hard time living with my parents again? :-)


To be fair, you'd also be stuck in Pennsyltucky
 
2020-09-05 11:28:46 AM  

Mister Peejay: luna1580: i sorta hate to be the one to say this, but is multi-generational-housing actually BAD?

(in a pre-covid world, where killing the grandparents by breathing over dinner was never a thought. let's discuss the very IDEA.)

estados unidos in modern times pretty much invented, or at least WIDELY popularized, the idea of "living alone" apartments and that every newly married couple -OR AT LEAST that couple when they had a baby on the way- was a f*cking FAILURE if they didn't buy and move into a home all alone.

it's VERY arguable that for most of human existence on this planet people lived in multi-generational homes. or at the very least within easy walking distance of family and tribe members.


Came here to kinda say this... "since the Great Depression" is kind of an odd way to put it, since before WWII, multigenerational households was the norm, not the exception.  And after WWII was a much different way of life in the US.


Multigenerational households r quite popular in 3rd world countries too....

Stay tuned.
 
2020-09-05 11:30:37 AM  

tricycleracer: Gramma: bostonguy: Mugato: I dunno, I (sadly) live alone but what's wrong with living with your family?

Because your parents never stop treating you like a child. I'm almost 40, and they want to give me a curfew whenever I visit. And I still never feel like a full-fledged adult whenever I'm around them.

I'm  a bit like that. I don't want to hear the front door open at 4 am. Get in at a reasonable time or spend the  night somewhere else. And that is okay. You want to spend the night at your boyfriend's place?  Go for it.  You want to wake me  up and get  the dogs all spun up in the wee hours, NO.

Ain't no one spending the night anywhere if they all live at home.


Home is the place where
When you have to go there
They have to take you in.

Robert frost
 
2020-09-05 11:30:51 AM  

Mugato: bostonguy: Mugato: I dunno, I (sadly) live alone but what's wrong with living with your family?

Because your parents never stop treating you like a child. I'm almost 40, and they want to give me a curfew whenever I visit. And I still never feel like a full-fledged adult whenever I'm around them.

Wow, that sucks.


What's worse is, they try to treat you like a child when you are clearly the adult in the room.
 
2020-09-05 11:32:12 AM  

raerae1980: Gramma: bostonguy: Mugato: I dunno, I (sadly) live alone but what's wrong with living with your family?

Because your parents never stop treating you like a child. I'm almost 40, and they want to give me a curfew whenever I visit. And I still never feel like a full-fledged adult whenever I'm around them.

I'm  a bit like that. I don't want to hear the front door open at 4 am. Get in at a reasonable time or spend the  night somewhere else. And that is okay. You want to spend the night at your boyfriend's place?  Go for it.  You want to wake me  up and get  the dogs all spun up in the wee hours, NO.

I get the dogs thing (we dont have dogs), but otherwise it feels very authoritarian to me to have a curfew as an adult.  Your house, your rules, i get that too, but....did i mention id have a hard time living with my parents again? :-)


Sometimes dad needs a good spanking.
 
2020-09-05 11:34:30 AM  

bostonguy: Mugato: I dunno, I (sadly) live alone but what's wrong with living with your family?

Because your parents never stop treating you like a child. I'm almost 40, and they want to give me a curfew whenever I visit. And I still never feel like a full-fledged adult whenever I'm around them.


Ditto. Mine are also trying to pressure and shame me into having a baby, despite everything going on...and ignoring the fact I have no interest in babies or baby daddies.

If I still lived with them, I would have thrown myself into the ocean a long time ago.
 
2020-09-05 11:41:27 AM  

jso2897: We're in a depression now, and everybody but Wall Street knows it.
1929 called - they didn't say anything - just heavy breathing.


10% at the top own 84% of the company stocks.

The rest of u r shiat outta luck in murca.
 
2020-09-05 11:43:23 AM  

luna1580: i sorta hate to be the one to say this, but is multi-generational-housing actually BAD?

(in a pre-covid world, where killing the grandparents by breathing over dinner was never a thought. let's discuss the very IDEA.)

estados unidos in modern times pretty much invented, or at least WIDELY popularized, the idea of "living alone" apartments and that every newly married couple -OR AT LEAST that couple when they had a baby on the way- was a f*cking FAILURE if they didn't buy and move into a home all alone.

it's VERY arguable that for most of human existence on this planet people lived in multi-generational homes. or at the very least within easy walking distance of family and tribe members.

other than "supporting" the LIE that "pure capitalism" offers the entire world "endless" economic expansion, WHY should every single human now born feel a "failure" if they don't end up in a brand new house, alone, with a spouse, or with a spouse and kids?

multi-generational houses are useful. the old and the middle aged help with the very young, and then everyone can help with the very old.

no other primate on earth shuns families and tribes for "a big new house ALL MY OWN!"

maybe it's time to act like the animals we are now.


If you are alone with a spouse and kids, maybe the problem is in the ceiling to floor mirror that you bought down at the GoodWill while you were out shopping for some retro clothes.
 
2020-09-05 11:43:25 AM  

edmo: I know a bunch of people who are funding their kid's housing as well.


Bec murca Great!!
 
2020-09-05 11:45:53 AM  

KarmicDisaster: jso2897: should be giving money to people so they can survive. And everyone needs to keep distant and wear their dam

Well, we can never really have another "great depression" - monetary policy won't allow an actual money scarcity like that  to occur. I don't agree that it is forced - I think it is fundamental, and caused by Trump's horrid tax and business policies - the pandemic is just a trigger event.
This will be structured like 2008, be worse, and last longer.

/Predictions over.

Well, maybe. But. The velocity of money is WAY down. There is enough money (the 0.1% and corporations are holding most of it), but it isn't moving around at all. Looks like we might be going to find out if you can have a depression where there is a whole lot of money, but 99% of people don't have enough to spend.


Oh, that we can. I just don't think we'll get deflation like in the depression, where a steak dinner is a quarter and mils start circulating in poorer areas.
I actually found them on my grandad's farm in E Texas, back in the fifties. They were real.
 
2020-09-05 11:47:56 AM  

bloobeary: The CEO wants a newer bigger yacht.


Goddamned right.   Can name a few companies that are getting record profits (from business generated by COVID), but all employees took a pay cut due to the current 'COVID emergency' and headcount is being squeezed.
 
2020-09-05 11:48:03 AM  

Magnus: luna1580: i sorta hate to be the one to say this, but is multi-generational-housing actually BAD?

(in a pre-covid world, where killing the grandparents by breathing over dinner was never a thought. let's discuss the very IDEA.)

estados unidos in modern times pretty much invented, or at least WIDELY popularized, the idea of "living alone" apartments and that every newly married couple -OR AT LEAST that couple when they had a baby on the way- was a f*cking FAILURE if they didn't buy and move into a home all alone.

it's VERY arguable that for most of human existence on this planet people lived in multi-generational homes. or at the very least within easy walking distance of family and tribe members.

other than "supporting" the LIE that "pure capitalism" offers the entire world "endless" economic expansion, WHY should every single human now born feel a "failure" if they don't end up in a brand new house, alone, with a spouse, or with a spouse and kids?

multi-generational houses are useful. the old and the middle aged help with the very young, and then everyone can help with the very old.

no other primate on earth shuns families and tribes for "a big new house ALL MY OWN!"

maybe it's time to act like the animals we are now.

If you are alone with a spouse and kids, maybe the problem is in the ceiling to floor mirror that you bought down at the GoodWill while you were out shopping for some retro clothes.


Aggghhggg!!!!  Skeet skeet

Mom downstaires:  did you say something todd??
 
2020-09-05 11:49:34 AM  

somedude210: raerae1980: Gramma: bostonguy: Mugato: I dunno, I (sadly) live alone but what's wrong with living with your family?

Because your parents never stop treating you like a child. I'm almost 40, and they want to give me a curfew whenever I visit. And I still never feel like a full-fledged adult whenever I'm around them.

I'm  a bit like that. I don't want to hear the front door open at 4 am. Get in at a reasonable time or spend the  night somewhere else. And that is okay. You want to spend the night at your boyfriend's place?  Go for it.  You want to wake me  up and get  the dogs all spun up in the wee hours, NO.

I get the dogs thing (we dont have dogs), but otherwise it feels very authoritarian to me to have a curfew as an adult.  Your house, your rules, i get that too, but....did i mention id have a hard time living with my parents again? :-)

To be fair, you'd also be stuck in Pennsyltucky


Ha!  Theres that, too.  My relationship with them would sour pretty quickly if we had to move back in.  I think theres too much baggage for me, BUT, the flip side---  they would LOVE for us to move back.  😕
 
2020-09-05 11:50:26 AM  

Mister Peejay: luna1580: i sorta hate to be the one to say this, but is multi-generational-housing actually BAD?

(in a pre-covid world, where killing the grandparents by breathing over dinner was never a thought. let's discuss the very IDEA.)

estados unidos in modern times pretty much invented, or at least WIDELY popularized, the idea of "living alone" apartments and that every newly married couple -OR AT LEAST that couple when they had a baby on the way- was a f*cking FAILURE if they didn't buy and move into a home all alone.

it's VERY arguable that for most of human existence on this planet people lived in multi-generational homes. or at the very least within easy walking distance of family and tribe members.


Came here to kinda say this... "since the Great Depression" is kind of an odd way to put it, since before WWII, multigenerational households was the norm, not the exception.  And after WWII was a much different way of life in the US.


There's an enormous difference between people voluntarily engaging in holdover cultural traditions from old world immigration, and people being unable to live without support from their parents because wages have stagnated, education has become a lifelong financial ball-and-chain, and any recurring or semi-serious healthcare condition can bankrupt you in short order.

This country is farked.  The Boomers farked it by being selfish twats with no sense of social obligation. If the rapidly-shrinking comfortable middle class doesn't get their shiat together and stop engaging in arguments like the one you're making so they can ignore the problem, this country is going to end up a feudalistic state, and they're going to end up on the wrong side of the line.
 
2020-09-05 11:50:30 AM  

Bruscar: Pincy: raerae1980: stamped human bacon: raerae1980: it feels very authoritarian to me to have a curfew as an adult.

It's not a curfew, it's a courtesy. Back in the day, it was more common.

It makes sense if you have young adults in the house, not when they're 30 or 40.  Respect and courtesy goes borh ways.

The person begging for a place to live should be making 99% of the sacrifices.

Why would your own offspring need to beg for a place to live?

I suspect you are the kind of "parent" that doesn't need to worry about the adult kids moving home  -  ever.

You might want to choose and pre-fund your own in-home caregivers and nursing home though. I don't see people who had to beg their father for the basics of human survival going way extra-curricular when caring for you in your old age.


I have to work.. I get up at 6am..so I have to be in bed by 10pm.  My kids always understood that the house is quiet at 10pm and the doors get locked.  If you get home late you are sleeping in your car.  I dont need you traipsing around the house late at night, watching TV loud or wondering when I can lock up.

Kids lost their key privileges because of their klepto friends.
 
2020-09-05 11:51:51 AM  

Linux_Yes: raerae1980: bostonguy: Mugato: I dunno, I (sadly) live alone but what's wrong with living with your family?

Because your parents never stop treating you like a child. I'm almost 40, and they want to give me a curfew whenever I visit. And I still never feel like a full-fledged adult whenever I'm around them.

Same here (._.)
I didnt move out until i was 26, and i still had a curfew up to the day of my wedding.    It would be very hard for me to adjust living under their roof again.

Just be thankful they didnt insist on going on the honeymoon.   Giggle


Oh....I am grateful.  😋
 
2020-09-05 11:56:24 AM  
Pooling expenses is a smart thing to do when you need to save money.

Its a tough time and nobody's hiring.  And now nobody wants to be a landlord, because now nobody has to pay rent.
That means there will be a massive shortage of new housing.

But this will turn around and get better in a few months, if  ... WEAR YOUR GODDAM MASK
 
2020-09-05 11:57:16 AM  

Magnus: luna1580: i sorta hate to be the one to say this, but is multi-generational-housing actually BAD?

(in a pre-covid world, where killing the grandparents by breathing over dinner was never a thought. let's discuss the very IDEA.)

estados unidos in modern times pretty much invented, or at least WIDELY popularized, the idea of "living alone" apartments and that every newly married couple -OR AT LEAST that couple when they had a baby on the way- was a f*cking FAILURE if they didn't buy and move into a home all alone.

it's VERY arguable that for most of human existence on this planet people lived in multi-generational homes. or at the very least within easy walking distance of family and tribe members.

other than "supporting" the LIE that "pure capitalism" offers the entire world "endless" economic expansion, WHY should every single human now born feel a "failure" if they don't end up in a brand new house, alone, with a spouse, or with a spouse and kids?

multi-generational houses are useful. the old and the middle aged help with the very young, and then everyone can help with the very old.

no other primate on earth shuns families and tribes for "a big new house ALL MY OWN!"

maybe it's time to act like the animals we are now.

If you are alone with a spouse and kids, maybe the problem is in the ceiling to floor mirror that you bought down at the GoodWill while you were out shopping for some retro clothes.


"alone" WITH a spouse and kids? lol. that would mean at least four people (kids, plural) in just one generation. all living together.

this word "alone" -i do not think it means what you think it means...  and "ceiling to floor mirrors" are NOT common household goods anywhere in america, at any price.

and you say you've been here 16 years? interesting. take some time to learn english before writing back in it, i'll wait.
 
2020-09-05 12:02:29 PM  
Oh, there are plenty of reasons for my wife and I to never even consider moving in with either set of parents.
1. Both sets hate each other, and really should be divorced. I've been waiting for my parents to get a divorce for almost 25 years, and my wife and I have a thousand dollar bet that when my BIL finds a place of his own, her parents would be divorced inside a year. They all fight constantly, even in public. I was exposed to that until I moved out, and never again.
2. Money. We are the financially stable pairing in the whole thing. My in-laws barely scrape by, and my parents have a metric load of debt.
3. Space. My in-laws live in a trailer. No room. My parents live in a 3BR/1BA house, but that third bedroom is my dad's office. No room.
4. My wife and I have an active sex life, and we don't want either side to get in the way. Back when my wife had first moved into her own apartment after a divorce, we were in the middle of sex and her cell started getting blown up. Five calls in five minutes, and no one had that number yet except family since she just got it. So she puts me on hold, so to speak, and answers thinking it's an emergency. Nope. Her mom wanted to know if she wanted the extra box of butter she got at the store.
5. Commute. From the in-laws' to where I work would be over an hour. 90 minutes from my parents.
 
2020-09-05 12:03:46 PM  

Linux_Yes: tricycleracer: Gramma: bostonguy: Mugato: I dunno, I (sadly) live alone but what's wrong with living with your family?

Because your parents never stop treating you like a child. I'm almost 40, and they want to give me a curfew whenever I visit. And I still never feel like a full-fledged adult whenever I'm around them.

I'm  a bit like that. I don't want to hear the front door open at 4 am. Get in at a reasonable time or spend the  night somewhere else. And that is okay. You want to spend the night at your boyfriend's place?  Go for it.  You want to wake me  up and get  the dogs all spun up in the wee hours, NO.

Ain't no one spending the night anywhere if they all live at home.

Home is the place where
When you have to go there
They have to take you in.

Robert frost


The darker side of this calculus is of course the millions of younger Americans who don't have anything like a "home" to go back to because their parents have died, are sick, or can't afford a big house themselves.

Having to go live with mom and dad and be treated like a child is actually a very affluent white problem to have.  Most people who have it don't even give a thought to what it's like for the rest of us who have had to live without any kind of safety net since we were teenagers.
 
2020-09-05 12:04:08 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-09-05 12:05:56 PM  

bostonguy: jso2897: We're in a depression now, and everybody but Wall Street knows it.
1929 called - they didn't say anything - just heavy breathing.

I wouldn't go that far.

The 1929 and 2008 crashes had underlying major economic issues. This one is artificial and forced.

As soon as the pandemic is over, things should return to 90% normal relatively quickly. (That's what happened after the Spanish Flu.) The hard part is keeping everything together until the pandemic is over. Governments should be giving money to people so they can survive. And everyone needs to keep distant and wear their damn masks, or the pandemic will not end.

/ rant over


We're looking at, at least, 80 million people being homeless, we have millions unemployed, and you think it'll spring back?

We were due for a crash before this all happened and the pandemic just brought the problems to the forefront.  Something like 70% of the top earning stocks in the NASDAQ are companies who have never turned a profit.  This will not rebound like people who are only interested in the politics of it rebounded claim it will.
 
2020-09-05 12:07:25 PM  
Screw it. Im doing this in list form so i dont spend my day ranting.

Have some respect for this whom you live with. (Friend, spouse, grandparent, parent, kids)
Compromise.
Respect sleep time. It is a needed function.
We created an society that either has to caffiene or amphetamine themselves to 99.9% functional efficiency. Daily. Because most people do not get enough good sleep.
Your personal disagreement just reflects you figured this out and refuse to partake in the drugs.

-they tell you to leave your parents as soon as possible
-they tell you to kick your kids out 'into the real world' as soon as possible.
-they tell you that you must keep working or that you are lazy and worthless.

-all lies.

The worthlessness is to the 'economy'.

They don't want you to have a life besides working, or scared about how you will pay for things, or too tired to do anything else.

What they want is for the young generation to rent their 20's going into debts they cant easily pay off.  Why? So the next generation works for the economy instead of the economy working for them.

Slaves.

/my kids are welcome here as long as they like rent free. Just be courteous/respect each other, animals, kick in a little time with some normal domestic tasks.
 
2020-09-05 12:11:30 PM  

Gramma: raerae1980: Gramma: bostonguy: Mugato: I dunno, I (sadly) live alone but what's wrong with living with your family?

Because your parents never stop treating you like a child. I'm almost 40, and they want to give me a curfew whenever I visit. And I still never feel like a full-fledged adult whenever I'm around them.

I'm  a bit like that. I don't want to hear the front door open at 4 am. Get in at a reasonable time or spend the  night somewhere else. And that is okay. You want to spend the night at your boyfriend's place?  Go for it.  You want to wake me  up and get  the dogs all spun up in the wee hours, NO.

I get the dogs thing (we dont have dogs), but otherwise it feels very authoritarian to me to have a curfew as an adult.  Your house, your rules, i get that too, but....did i mention id have a hard time living with my parents again? :-)

It's all about compromises. I have a 22 year old at home. I am a light sleeper and I need to get a solid night's sleep. Once I retire and I can  take a nap if my sleep is disturbed, I'll probably ease up on the curfew. But until then, I have to work all day and it really sucks if she wakes me up in the night - especially if it is several days in a row.  In exchange,I put up with her music and - before covid - having friends over and multiple tanks with reptiles. I've given her the spare bedroom to use for her hobbies. And she doesn't pay rent.  She puts up with the dogs and me watching TV.  For the most part, we are okay with the arrangement.


You're an adult, and raised an adult.
 
2020-09-05 12:13:54 PM  

Z-clipped: Linux_Yes: tricycleracer: Gramma: bostonguy: Mugato: I dunno, I (sadly) live alone but what's wrong with living with your family?

Because your parents never stop treating you like a child. I'm almost 40, and they want to give me a curfew whenever I visit. And I still never feel like a full-fledged adult whenever I'm around them.

I'm  a bit like that. I don't want to hear the front door open at 4 am. Get in at a reasonable time or spend the  night somewhere else. And that is okay. You want to spend the night at your boyfriend's place?  Go for it.  You want to wake me  up and get  the dogs all spun up in the wee hours, NO.

Ain't no one spending the night anywhere if they all live at home.

Home is the place where
When you have to go there
They have to take you in.

Robert frost

The darker side of this calculus is of course the millions of younger Americans who don't have anything like a "home" to go back to because their parents have died, are sick, or can't afford a big house themselves.

Having to go live with mom and dad and be treated like a child is actually a very affluent white problem to have.  Most people who have it don't even give a thought to what it's like for the rest of us who have had to live without any kind of safety net since we were teenagers.


Thank you for saying it. Moving in with your parents is a privileged discussion and says a lot about the class you grew up in.
 
2020-09-05 12:20:50 PM  

luna1580: i sorta hate to be the one to say this, but is multi-generational-housing actually BAD?

(in a pre-covid world, where killing the grandparents by breathing over dinner was never a thought. let's discuss the very IDEA.)

estados unidos in modern times pretty much invented, or at least WIDELY popularized, the idea of "living alone" apartments and that every newly married couple -OR AT LEAST that couple when they had a baby on the way- was a f*cking FAILURE if they didn't buy and move into a home all alone.

it's VERY arguable that for most of human existence on this planet people lived in multi-generational homes. or at the very least within easy walking distance of family and tribe members.

other than "supporting" the LIE that "pure capitalism" offers the entire world "endless" economic expansion, WHY should every single human now born feel a "failure" if they don't end up in a brand new house, alone, with a spouse, or with a spouse and kids?

multi-generational houses are useful. the old and the middle aged help with the very young, and then everyone can help with the very old.

no other primate on earth shuns families and tribes for "a big new house ALL MY OWN!"

maybe it's time to act like the animals we are now.


I think this is an intelligent, well laid out argument.  I agree for the most part.  However, if faced with the prospect of living full time with my mother in law or eating a farking shotgun.......
 
2020-09-05 12:25:03 PM  
Sounds like a lot of unused bootstraps to me.

/You know, someone actually thinks that.
 
2020-09-05 12:30:50 PM  

Pincy: Bruscar: Gramma: bostonguy: Mugato: I dunno, I (sadly) live alone but what's wrong with living with your family?

Because your parents never stop treating you like a child. I'm almost 40, and they want to give me a curfew whenever I visit. And I still never feel like a full-fledged adult whenever I'm around them.

I'm  a bit like that. I don't want to hear the front door open at 4 am. Get in at a reasonable time or spend the  night somewhere else. And that is okay. You want to spend the night at your boyfriend's place?  Go for it.  You want to wake me  up and get  the dogs all spun up in the wee hours, NO.

You had to put up with that and more from your roommate in or just after college. If your children are adults, treat them like adults just as you did with your roommates. And buy a white noise machine and take some Melatonin.

Wow lot's of whiny entitlement showing up in this thread. If you are lucky enough to have parents who are willing to take you back in in your time of need it is you who should work around their rules.


Treating adults like children.  Great way for them to not respect your "rules".

Unless if you raised assholes, if you treat them like adults you'll get the same respect back.  Its pretty simple.  If you want to treat your adult children like literal children they'll act like children and do the opposite of what you say.  Its crazy how far giving people a basic amount of respect and autonomy will go towards them respecting you back.

Have fun when you're in need of assistance and find none care enough about you to see you outside of holiday.
 
2020-09-05 12:33:01 PM  
I work in a lot of peoples houses and even with the Pandemic I still don't see as many folks living with their parents as there were 25 years ago . Smells like BS to me .
 
2020-09-05 12:38:52 PM  
I put part of the blame on the parents, kids, and "big college"


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-09-05 12:44:31 PM  

keldaria: No rent/mortgage payment
No utilities


Many parents charge their adult children rent.
 
2020-09-05 12:49:45 PM  
A big reason multigenerational homes declined: an increase in people moving all over the country for work, either theirs or their spouse's. Plus all the older folks who insist on retiring to Florida.
 
2020-09-05 12:50:58 PM  
Posted this in the wrong thread earlier.

Meh....my step-daughter and her three kids have landed on my doorstep three times (unannounced).   My step-daughter has issues beyond economics.   I have come to love her and she's doing well right now.

Her daughter has lived with us twice while mom was out finding herself.  Her mother has also taken in the kids and her before, but that's also a fraught relationship.  So it never worked out.  The step-daughter tends to try to take over the house without respecting the wishes of the parents.   Oh and paying towards the household at all.

Aside from the fact that my creaky old house only has one bathroom, she would disappear for a coupe of days at a time leaving me to take care of her children.

But where i drew the line was when she started seeing a man that I knew from before and who I knew was absolutely bad news.  They were both bout 30 at the time.  I said that that particular man was not welcome in my home.   Well, the two 30 year olds would try to sneak into the house through the daylight basement door.   Crawling on the deck to try to avoid me seeing them from the living room or waiting till they thought I was in bed.  But this being the creaky old house it is, every sound that wasn't a regular one would wake me up bolt upright out of a deep sleep.

I finally told them I knew what was going on and that if they wanted to be together and they being grown ass adults they needed to be grown ass adults and get a place (he certainly could afford it).   They did.  Cops were called, the usual, as I said it would with that guy...

She has now found a decent man and fingers crossed she doesn't blow it.   But she isn't coming back here.   The kids, yeah.   Well, one at a time anyway, that one bathroom.
 
2020-09-05 12:55:31 PM  
My mother in law lives with us.  When my first child was born in 2011 she came to visit and she just sort of never left.  As with anything there are pros and cons to this arrangement.

Pros:
-- Help with picking the house up.

-- She gets to know her grand kids and vice versa.

-- Help with the kids We can go on a date night once in awhile without worrying about a babysitter which is helpful especially during a pandemic (Our date nights might just mean taking a walk together these days but if you don't get some kind of break you will go crazy).

-- Her cost of living is significantly reduced during her retirement years.  We own the house and pay most of the bills.

-- Since we are living through covid she helps school the kids who are all home doing digital learning until we get a good vaccine or at least treatment.

Cons:
-- It is difficult to live with a parent (even if she is not mine) as an adult.  She sees us as (especially my wife) as kids and always will.  Sometimes it is easier to work it out among ourselves than others.  This is probably what causes the most friction.

-- Slightly higher bills due to another person who needs electricity, water, food, etc.  This is probably offset by the fact that we don't have to hire as much childcare.

In our case it is worth it for all parties involved.  If it gets to the point where it is no longer worth it for us or her she is free to move out with no hard feelings.  We are lucky.  We have a finished basement so she pretty much has her own space and I get along with her fairly well.  I am sure this arrangement wouldn't work for everyone.
 
2020-09-05 12:59:23 PM  

luna1580: i sorta hate to be the one to say this, but is multi-generational-housing actually BAD?

(in a pre-covid world, where killing the grandparents by breathing over dinner was never a thought. let's discuss the very IDEA.)

estados unidos in modern times pretty much invented, or at least WIDELY popularized, the idea of "living alone" apartments and that every newly married couple -OR AT LEAST that couple when they had a baby on the way- was a f*cking FAILURE if they didn't buy and move into a home all alone.

it's VERY arguable that for most of human existence on this planet people lived in multi-generational homes. or at the very least within easy walking distance of family and tribe members.

other than "supporting" the LIE that "pure capitalism" offers the entire world "endless" economic expansion, WHY should every single human now born feel a "failure" if they don't end up in a brand new house, alone, with a spouse, or with a spouse and kids?

multi-generational houses are useful. the old and the middle aged help with the very young, and then everyone can help with the very old.

no other primate on earth shuns families and tribes for "a big new house ALL MY OWN!"

maybe it's time to act like the animals we are now.


Nevermind the whole idea is something sold to the poor and middle class. The rich in my area live on compounds, where it is obvious it's multi-generational by the look of and amount of cars. The young people drive nice little spots cars. There is the big DAD truck and two minivans. And there is a ton of them within walking distance of me. Meanwhile the apartments surrounding the area are varying degrees of slums on the nice side of crap.
 
2020-09-05 1:00:31 PM  
Yeah, there's a housing shortage and rents have gotten outrageous.  I moved into my first apartment when I was 20 and i paid 365 a month for a crappy apartment in a good neighborhood.  Now you're lucky to find a similar deal in the same city for less than twice that yet average wages haven't doubled since 2003.

The kids these days have it rough in that category and it keeps getting worse.

As for multi-generational housing... Do you really want your entire family to hear you farking? and do you really want to hear your parents farking?  It might be traditional, but we traditionally discard traditions when we can make better arrangements.  The ability to afford our own housing as adults is one of those.
 
2020-09-05 1:00:36 PM  

bloobeary: Even now, the "basement dwelling loser" is a holdover from that propaganda push. Because the fact that wages have stagnated while property costs have skyrocketed is an unimportant background detail, now go spend some money you useless drain on capitalism, you. The CEO wants a newer bigger yacht.


Thanks for the much-needed pep talk, now I feel like a basement-dwelling WINNER!
 
2020-09-05 1:02:00 PM  
Today on Fark I learned that it is impossible to come home late without waking up everyone in the house. Parking in the driveway and quietly entering through the back door is simply not an option worth considering, instead there must be a battle over curfews.

I don't think I'd want to live with my parents for other reasons. But I worked at a video rental place in high school, often got home late, and distinctly recall being able to get inside without waking the entire house up.
 
2020-09-05 1:07:23 PM  
My kids that can stay clean and sober are welcome to stay forever.  They know they will always be my babies, no matter what.  They get that I will worry over their grooming, nutrition, cash management and if they don't like that, they are free to head out anytime.

OTOH, the kids that steal to support a habit, try to call collect from jail, traffic in controlled substances from my property all need to move and keep on going.

One of my drama llama kids regularly recruits people with tales of woe and how awful life is here.  As soon as the ally comes around, the truth is revealed and drama llama ding dong can't understand why no one stays loyal.

I'll open my home to people I barely know, and run the risk of having squatter issues.  What I won't put up with is my kid demanding to be catered to and coddled while the rest of us are scrambling to pay bills and keep our jobs.
 
2020-09-05 1:08:12 PM  

El_Dan: Today on Fark I learned that it is impossible to come home late without waking up everyone in the house. Parking in the driveway and quietly entering through the back door is simply not an option worth considering, instead there must be a battle over curfews.

I don't think I'd want to live with my parents for other reasons. But I worked at a video rental place in high school, often got home late, and distinctly recall being able to get inside without waking the entire house up.


Sure, but as you get older you're not as agile.  I once knew every step to take to not make the floor boards creak at my parent's house, but nearly 20 years on I'm basically the audible equivalent of a circus walking up the steps when I visit my mom.
 
2020-09-05 1:12:15 PM  

cherryl taggart: My kids that can stay clean and sober are welcome to stay forever.  They know they will always be my babies, no matter what.  They get that I will worry over their grooming, nutrition, cash management and if they don't like that, they are free to head out anytime.

OTOH, the kids that steal to support a habit, try to call collect from jail, traffic in controlled substances from my property all need to move and keep on going.

One of my drama llama kids regularly recruits people with tales of woe and how awful life is here.  As soon as the ally comes around, the truth is revealed and drama llama ding dong can't understand why no one stays loyal.

I'll open my home to people I barely know, and run the risk of having squatter issues.  What I won't put up with is my kid demanding to be catered to and coddled while the rest of us are scrambling to pay bills and keep our jobs.


You are a saint who deserves free TF forever!
 
2020-09-05 1:19:44 PM  

Mister Peejay: keldaria: Honestly... all I can think of is how nice that would be.

No rent/mortgage payment
No utilities
Free meals
Free baby sitting (not that it's not currently free but it would almost always be there, my mother is a sweetheart)

If my wife ever divorces me, I'll be moving back in and staying until my bank account has the money to buy a house or my new Girlfriend demands I stop being a freeloader. Never could figure out why I was in such a rush to leave for my own place. My parents were awesome and I appreciate what they did for me now more than ever now that I have my daughter.

Sorry (not sorry), if you are an adult, you're going to be contributing by paying rent and utilities, and groceries, and maybe cooking every now and then.  You're not five anymore, act like it?


Listen smartass, just because I'm an adult and I act like it doesn't mean I can't look fondly back in what I had before I had responsibilities.
 
2020-09-05 1:20:38 PM  
Just yesterday overheard a conversation between two of my students. The gist of it sounds like the family of one of them is facing eviction at the end of September. I'm thinking they won't be the only ones. 😢

Our oldest daughter lives in a rent controlled apartment with her wife. They barely are scraping by and I actually WISH that they would spend a year living with either us or her wife's dad. They are welcome at either place. Independent streak and all that, but they at least have somewhere to go if things go south. Youngest daughter was turning into a basement dweller a couple years ago and we convinced her to join the Navy instead of sitting home doing nothing. When she's out in a few years I anticipate she will come back home until she gets her land legs under her.

This next several months are going to suck for many of us. And it may drag out for a while also. And we may end up in a pseudo-civil war on top of a recession/depression and the pandemic that's probably going to spike in case numbers/deaths. If Biden wins and actually is able to evict 45* he's probably going to have to spend another few trillion to dig this country out of the hole. And hopefully revamp the tax structure so the rich scum will pay their proper dues to society.
 
2020-09-05 1:23:33 PM  

luna1580: i sorta hate to be the one to say this, but is multi-generational-housing actually BAD?

<snip>

When you have worked your whole life for a chance to retire and travel.
 
2020-09-05 1:23:47 PM  
Billionaires aren't the problem though.
 
2020-09-05 1:26:10 PM  
Our son is living at home - he's 27. His job is currently in limbo due to COVID, so he can't afford his own place. I like having him around. He helps out with things, and it's been nice to hang around with him. Multi-generational homes are not uncommon here, due to the high cost of housing.
 
2020-09-05 1:31:17 PM  
My oldest just started college, and she's staying home and going to a local University. It's nice. She helps out around the house and in exchange gets free room and board. I feel very fortunate to be able to help, and although I know she would rather move out, this will help keep her student loans lower.

These are Not the times to frivolously move out if you get along with your parents.

/My parents were boomers. I moved out at 18.
 
2020-09-05 1:32:41 PM  

electricjebus: As for multi-generational housing... Do you really want your entire family to hear you farking? and do you really want to hear your parents farking? It might be traditional, but we traditionally discard traditions when we can make better arrangements. The ability to afford our own housing as adults is one of those.


Fark user imageView Full Size


For what we get, we also give away. We give up our human ties when our choices expand, because we only have time for so much. We should start thinking about that.
And we'll have to--this shiat is going away. It is not sustainable, and it's about to become unthinkable.
Farking adapt. aren't we supposed to be the most smartest, adaptable creature ever? Funny way to show it--throwing away our humanity AND our biological life support system.
 
2020-09-05 1:37:10 PM  

patowen: luna1580: i sorta hate to be the one to say this, but is multi-generational-housing actually BAD?<snip>

When you have worked your whole life for a chance to retire and travel.


Unless the retired couple is well ng their house to fund the traveling, I see no reason why their travel interferes with multigenerational housing.

If anything, the savings created should help fund it.
 
2020-09-05 1:38:23 PM  
If I was still in my 20s I dunno how it would have went living at home full time while trying to meet up with the ladies and do some drinking, shenanigans, etc.

Now?  I'm in my 30s and have mostly become what they deem an adult.  If I were to move back in I think it'd work well.  My parents rarely drink, they were never verbally or physically abusive, they are left leaning politically, they're retired so they do their own thing whenever they want.

We share a lot of the same hobbies like gardening, camping, hiking, running, traveling, etc.  Mrs. TheFoz gets along great with them and if we ever do reproduce they could help out.  They are financially secure so any money I'd try to give them they wouldn't accept.  I'd definitely help out with cooking, groceries, cleaning, etc.

Same for the in-laws, I don't think we'd have many issues.  They are very similar to my parents except they drink a bit more.

YMMV and all...

/I lucked into some great families I guess
//sorry to hear a lot of you had crappy parents
///in 3s come the slashies
 
2020-09-05 1:39:53 PM  

Private_Citizen: My oldest just started college, and she's staying home and going to a local University. It's nice. She helps out around the house and in exchange gets free room and board. I feel very fortunate to be able to help, and although I know she would rather move out, this will help keep her student loans lower.

These are Not the times to frivolously move out if you get along with your parents.

/My parents were boomers. I moved out at 18.


I moved out at 18 too,but mostly only because my parents moved away and I had a job, friends, other family, and my University in my hometown.

I would happily have stayed with them through college, otherwise.
 
2020-09-05 1:40:55 PM  

Someone Else's Alt: Por que tan serioso: Someone Else's Alt: I have three younger brothers. Everyone of us got out of the house the minute we could figure out a way to do it and every one of us moved pretty much as far away from my mother as was physically possible and still stay in the US. Well, except for me, I joined the Navy in the middle of my senior year on delayed entry so I could be put on a ship on the other side of the planet the minute I was done with high school with mail being the only way for my mother to hassle me.

Brother #2 left home at 17 from Mobile AL to find me in NYC.
Brother #3 left home at 17 from Naples, Italy to Long Island, NY (Step dad had a contract in Italy at the time)
Brother #4 left home at 18 from Mobile AL to Seattle WA.

We have been trying to figure out how we are going to take care of my mother for a few years now. It won't be to much longer before she cannot shop and take care of herself. None of us are willing to take her in or live with her even part time. She is so toxic that my brothers keep visits with the kids down to a few hours a couple of times a year. A couple of hours is about the limit any sane person can spend around her before you start getting the urge to push her off a roof. I personally will not be anywhere near her and do not talk to her and have not spoke to her since 1987. Anything about her has to go through one of my brothers and they get it, they take turns dealing with her bullshiat.  It is looking like we will all be chipping in to put her into a home at some point soon, my vote was raft and push her out into the North Atlantic without a paddle, but they voted against it, knowing how mean my mother is they figured she would probably survive and might make her way to Nova Scotia or Canada which would most likely start some kind of international incident.

So not to concerned about anyone in our family moving back in with mom.

Don't hold back, SEA. This feels like your moment. Tell us. How do you REALLY feel about your mother?

Pretty sure the Fark servers do not have enough capacity for me to fully vent about our issues with my mother.

But if you are REALLY that curious, I have been carrying around the same $100 bill in my wallet since I was 15 years old. It is so I can buy a celebratory round of drinks when I get the word that she has finally died.


Fark user imageView Full Size


/I get it though. Some people are Just plain Bad.
 
2020-09-05 1:41:13 PM  

Petey4335: Screw it. Im doing this in list form so i dont spend my day ranting.

Have some respect for this whom you live with. (Friend, spouse, grandparent, parent, kids)
Compromise.
Respect sleep time. It is a needed function.
We created an society that either has to caffiene or amphetamine themselves to 99.9% functional efficiency. Daily. Because most people do not get enough good sleep.
Your personal disagreement just reflects you figured this out and refuse to partake in the drugs.

-they tell you to leave your parents as soon as possible
-they tell you to kick your kids out 'into the real world' as soon as possible.
-they tell you that you must keep working or that you are lazy and worthless.

-all lies.

The worthlessness is to the 'economy'.

They don't want you to have a life besides working, or scared about how you will pay for things, or too tired to do anything else.

What they want is for the young generation to rent their 20's going into debts they cant easily pay off.  Why? So the next generation works for the economy instead of the economy working for them.

Slaves.

/my kids are welcome here as long as they like rent free. Just be courteous/respect each other, animals, kick in a little time with some normal domestic tasks.


Agreed.

While I don't think you should boot your kids out the door at 18 I think it is important they get out and experience what it's like to be on their own.  Get experience with life, paying bills, making mistakes, etc.

Your parents could up and die tomorrow and if you don't have any experience to rely on it might be tough going.
 
2020-09-05 1:45:23 PM  

Petey4335: Respect sleep time. It is a needed function.
We created an society that either has to caffiene or amphetamine themselves to 99.9% functional efficiency. Daily. Because most people do not get enough good sleep.
Your personal disagreement just reflects you figured this out and refuse to partake in the drugs.


Different people have different schedules. It certainly doesn't all boil down to disagreements about amphetamine usage.

I'm guessing this portion of your post stems from a personal experience?
 
2020-09-05 1:54:22 PM  

powhound: Just yesterday overheard a conversation between two of my students. The gist of it sounds like the family of one of them is facing eviction at the end of September. I'm thinking they won't be the only ones. 😢

Our oldest daughter lives in a rent controlled apartment with her wife. They barely are scraping by and I actually WISH that they would spend a year living with either us or her wife's dad. They are welcome at either place. Independent streak and all that, but they at least have somewhere to go if things go south. Youngest daughter was turning into a basement dweller a couple years ago and we convinced her to join the Navy instead of sitting home doing nothing. When she's out in a few years I anticipate she will come back home until she gets her land legs under her.

This next several months are going to suck for many of us. And it may drag out for a while also. And we may end up in a pseudo-civil war on top of a recession/depression and the pandemic that's probably going to spike in case numbers/deaths. If Biden wins and actually is able to evict 45* he's probably going to have to spend another few trillion to dig this country out of the hole. And hopefully revamp the tax structure so the rich scum will pay their proper dues to society.


If we can get Trump elected again, maybe he can get America back to its former morals and your eldest daughter will be forced to be single which will make it easier for her to move back home.
 
2020-09-05 1:55:03 PM  
I can't even imagine living with straight people again, let alone my relatives.
 
2020-09-05 1:56:37 PM  

zeroman987: Busta Clown Shoes: Pincy: Commander Lysdexic: Pincy: raerae1980: stamped human bacon: raerae1980: it feels very authoritarian to me to have a curfew as an adult.

It's not a curfew, it's a courtesy. Back in the day, it was more common.

It makes sense if you have young adults in the house, not when they're 30 or 40.  Respect and courtesy goes borh ways.

The person begging for a place to live should be making 99% of the sacrifices.

Psychopaths cannot understand familial bonds of love; everything is transactional to them.

No I understand it completely. The parents are demonstrating how much they love their children by taking them back in when they are in need. I think that is very touching. Now the children need to show that same love back by showing some simple common courtesy.

You're still making it a transaction.  That they give something back.  Real love means not expecting that of them, and them loving you means they will eventually show it back to you in some form.  But not specifically right away, tit for tat, I let you move in now you owe me something type of way.  This is assuming both you and they are not a-holes or bitter at life or slobs, etc. Basic courtesy of course applies.

Real love doesn't mean letting your kids walk all over you. To take that position is the epitome of entitlement.  People are allowed to have some semblance of self respect and control over their living conditions, especially when they are the ones getting up and going to work to maintain those living conditions.

I'm sorry, but when I was a young adult, if I was coming home from the bar at 3am on weeknights and waking my folks up, I would expect them to be pissed.  It was not how they raised me - that is a selfish act and not one that shows I love them.

By the same token, if my kids want to live with me when they grow up, I am happy to have them.  I love them.  But I am raising them to treat others with respect and to be considerate of others. That means that when someone has to go to work the next day, the rest of the people living there aren't coming home late and making a ton of noise.

The point is that it runs both ways - a "curfew" is a poorly communicated way of saying "I can't afford to be woken up at 3am by drunk you, please respect me and my livelihood by refraining from disrupting the sleep I need to function."  If a child can't understand that they have some growing up to do, somewhere else.


This.

To expect to be treated well by loved ones you are helping isn't somehow indicative of a lack of love, nor a lack of ability to love.
 
2020-09-05 1:57:31 PM  

luna1580: i sorta hate to be the one to say this, but is multi-generational-housing actually BAD?

(in a pre-covid world, where killing the grandparents by breathing over dinner was never a thought. let's discuss the very IDEA.)

estados unidos in modern times pretty much invented, or at least WIDELY popularized, the idea of "living alone" apartments and that every newly married couple -OR AT LEAST that couple when they had a baby on the way- was a f*cking FAILURE if they didn't buy and move into a home all alone.

it's VERY arguable that for most of human existence on this planet people lived in multi-generational homes. or at the very least within easy walking distance of family and tribe members.

other than "supporting" the LIE that "pure capitalism" offers the entire world "endless" economic expansion, WHY should every single human now born feel a "failure" if they don't end up in a brand new house, alone, with a spouse, or with a spouse and kids?

multi-generational houses are useful. the old and the middle aged help with the very young, and then everyone can help with the very old.

no other primate on earth shuns families and tribes for "a big new house ALL MY OWN!"

maybe it's time to act like the animals we are now.


1. no, we don't need big ol houses for ourselves. that said, the development/building industry is a highly concentrated industry that ignores the starter home because profit. we need the choice.
2. no, no one should feel like a failure for not achieving some generic representation
3. that said, appeals to the past (tradition) are logical fallacies - let's not appeal to the past just because 'it worked'. it's entirely possible that 'it worked' was simply 'no other choice'
4. even not-capitalist economic systems provide more than enough wealth for families to live alone, if that's their preference
.
.
.
5. skipping way ahead w/o all the boring details that i've posted so many times that i can't even anymore - the whole spiel boils down to a broken socioeconomic system that is accumulating nearly all the wealth to the top, allowing the wealthiest to shoot all the albatrosses they feel like shooting, and then hanging all those dead birds on the lower half of society.

/i know you're speaking to 'let's work together', and i'm totally down with that
//what i'm not down with is sticking 3-4 generations of family back into one household for its own sake while allowing the uberwealthy to run the entire show from their multiple, massive, gated estates
///we can have *both* 'let's work together' ~and~ 'we can live separately if that's our choice' - we're on the same side wrt capitalism's failures
//yes, population growth must be on the table as well
/i don't want to be an animal. i just want to jerk off to internet porn in the peace of my tiny apartment.
 
2020-09-05 1:57:33 PM  

Smackledorfer: patowen: luna1580: i sorta hate to be the one to say this, but is multi-generational-housing actually BAD?<snip>

When you have worked your whole life for a chance to retire and travel.

Unless the retired couple is *well ng their house to fund the traveling, I see no reason why their travel interferes with multigenerational housing.

If anything, the savings created should help fund it.


*Selling their house.
 
2020-09-05 2:07:04 PM  

raerae1980: Gramma: bostonguy: Mugato: I dunno, I (sadly) live alone but what's wrong with living with your family?

Because your parents never stop treating you like a child. I'm almost 40, and they want to give me a curfew whenever I visit. And I still never feel like a full-fledged adult whenever I'm around them.

I'm  a bit like that. I don't want to hear the front door open at 4 am. Get in at a reasonable time or spend the  night somewhere else. And that is okay. You want to spend the night at your boyfriend's place?  Go for it.  You want to wake me  up and get  the dogs all spun up in the wee hours, NO.

I get the dogs thing (we dont have dogs), but otherwise it feels very authoritarian to me to have a curfew as an adult.  Your house, your rules, i get that too, but....did i mention id have a hard time living with my parents again? :-)


It can be very disconcerting when you have someone that lives under your roof who is coming and going at all hours of the night, knowing they're out partying, etc..   It can be disruptive to an otherwise quiet and calm household.

Don't like it?  Get your own place.  Otherwise, keep reasonable hours and follow the damn rules.
 
2020-09-05 2:08:04 PM  

CommonName2: powhound: Just yesterday overheard a conversation between two of my students. The gist of it sounds like the family of one of them is facing eviction at the end of September. I'm thinking they won't be the only ones. 😢

Our oldest daughter lives in a rent controlled apartment with her wife. They barely are scraping by and I actually WISH that they would spend a year living with either us or her wife's dad. They are welcome at either place. Independent streak and all that, but they at least have somewhere to go if things go south. Youngest daughter was turning into a basement dweller a couple years ago and we convinced her to join the Navy instead of sitting home doing nothing. When she's out in a few years I anticipate she will come back home until she gets her land legs under her.

This next several months are going to suck for many of us. And it may drag out for a while also. And we may end up in a pseudo-civil war on top of a recession/depression and the pandemic that's probably going to spike in case numbers/deaths. If Biden wins and actually is able to evict 45* he's probably going to have to spend another few trillion to dig this country out of the hole. And hopefully revamp the tax structure so the rich scum will pay their proper dues to society.

If we can get Trump elected again, maybe he can get America back to its former morals and your eldest daughter will be forced to be single which will make it easier for her to move back home.


Not sure if serious. I certainly hope not.
 
2020-09-05 2:10:34 PM  

Shine On You Crazy Diamond: raerae1980: Gramma: bostonguy: Mugato: I dunno, I (sadly) live alone but what's wrong with living with your family?

Because your parents never stop treating you like a child. I'm almost 40, and they want to give me a curfew whenever I visit. And I still never feel like a full-fledged adult whenever I'm around them.

I'm  a bit like that. I don't want to hear the front door open at 4 am. Get in at a reasonable time or spend the  night somewhere else. And that is okay. You want to spend the night at your boyfriend's place?  Go for it.  You want to wake me  up and get  the dogs all spun up in the wee hours, NO.

I get the dogs thing (we dont have dogs), but otherwise it feels very authoritarian to me to have a curfew as an adult.  Your house, your rules, i get that too, but....did i mention id have a hard time living with my parents again? :-)

It can be very disconcerting when you have someone that lives under your roof who is coming and going at all hours of the night, knowing they're out partying, etc..   It can be disruptive to an otherwise quiet and calm household.

Don't like it?  Get your own place.  Otherwise, keep reasonable hours and follow the damn rules.


It is entirely possible to keep unusual hours and not make a racket every time you move.  I don't know why everyone thinks that it must be either "curfew" or "drug-fueled chaos."
 
2020-09-05 2:13:59 PM  

zeroman987: Busta Clown Shoes: Pincy: Commander Lysdexic: Pincy: raerae1980: stamped human bacon: raerae1980: it feels very authoritarian to me to have a curfew as an adult.

It's not a curfew, it's a courtesy. Back in the day, it was more common.

It makes sense if you have young adults in the house, not when they're 30 or 40.  Respect and courtesy goes borh ways.

The person begging for a place to live should be making 99% of the sacrifices.

Psychopaths cannot understand familial bonds of love; everything is transactional to them.

No I understand it completely. The parents are demonstrating how much they love their children by taking them back in when they are in need. I think that is very touching. Now the children need to show that same love back by showing some simple common courtesy.

You're still making it a transaction.  That they give something back.  Real love means not expecting that of them, and them loving you means they will eventually show it back to you in some form.  But not specifically right away, tit for tat, I let you move in now you owe me something type of way.  This is assuming both you and they are not a-holes or bitter at life or slobs, etc. Basic courtesy of course applies.

Real love doesn't mean letting your kids walk all over you. To take that position is the epitome of entitlement.  People are allowed to have some semblance of self respect and control over their living conditions, especially when they are the ones getting up and going to work to maintain those living conditions.

I'm sorry, but when I was a young adult, if I was coming home from the bar at 3am on weeknights and waking my folks up, I would expect them to be pissed.  It was not how they raised me - that is a selfish act and not one that shows I love them.

By the same token, if my kids want to live with me when they grow up, I am happy to have them.  I love them.  But I am raising them to treat others with respect and to be considerate of others. That means that when someone has to go to work the next day, the rest of the people living there aren't coming home late and making a ton of noise.

The point is that it runs both ways - a "curfew" is a poorly communicated way of saying "I can't afford to be woken up at 3am by drunk you, please respect me and my livelihood by refraining from disrupting the sleep I need to function."  If a child can't understand that they have some growing up to do, somewhere else.


Reminds me when I would work until 3 a.m. and my step father would kick my ass out of bed at 7 a.m..

Some adults never stopped being kids either. If he was awake, everyone was awake.
 
2020-09-05 2:22:55 PM  

Smackledorfer: patowen: luna1580: i sorta hate to be the one to say this, but is multi-generational-housing actually BAD?<snip>

When you have worked your whole life for a chance to retire and travel.

Unless the retired couple is well ng their house to fund the traveling, I see no reason why their travel interferes with multigenerational housing.

If anything, the savings created should help fund it.


Home equity is often a big part of your life savings.  But if that home is meant to provide multi-generational housing into perpetuity then you can never plan to sell that home, buy a catamaran and explore the Pacific for a few years before you die: you better just park that dream and learn to love doing laundry instead.

And what are these "savings" you write of?  Savings for who, on what?  Are we talking about a communal bank account too?
 
2020-09-05 2:29:20 PM  
luna1580:

encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.comView Full Size
Multigenerational housing isn't bad at all, and this is hours late, but the thing is this stat is from the US, where kids are basically driven out of their homes with sticks at 18 or seen as failures. We're the birds(above)

So the fact that so many are living at home is not really a message about an improvement or growth in human culture, but rather a dire indicator of how bad things already are economically.
 
2020-09-05 2:36:01 PM  

rocket88: What's wrong with living with Mother?
[vignette.wikia.nocookie.net image 720x900]


Seymour Skinner's mother issues.
Youtube 0cmklEiZFYI
 
2020-09-05 2:39:55 PM  
Hard to live with a family that's disowned you for being gay, or trans, or any other multitude of outdated, bigoted thinking.

The father figure can rot for how he's treated myself and my siblings.
 
2020-09-05 2:40:00 PM  

keldaria: Honestly... all I can think of is how nice that would be.

No rent/mortgage payment
No utilities
Free meals
Free baby sitting (not that it's not currently free but it would almost always be there, my mother is a sweetheart)

If my wife ever divorces me, I'll be moving back in and staying until my bank account has the money to buy a house or my new Girlfriend demands I stop being a freeloader. Never could figure out why I was in such a rush to leave for my own place. My parents were awesome and I appreciate what they did for me now more than ever now that I have my daughter.


You sound like a freeloader. Probably a dem.
 
2020-09-05 2:45:36 PM  

krinklechip: Hard to live with a family that's disowned you for being gay, or trans, or any other multitude of outdated, bigoted thinking.

The father figure can rot for how he's treated myself and my siblings.


I've mentioned elsewhere how I'm no longer speaking to my parents as long as they continue to support Donald Trump.

But for what it's worth, there are myriad other reasons as well. For one, the last time I visited them, we went to a store to buy stuff for my little brother's wedding. There was a simple photo frame on the shelf with a same-sex couple in the example photo. My father looked at it and said, "That's gross."

I said, "No, it's not." He looked at me and yelled, "Yes, it is!"

I'm just a straight guy. But even I have no tolerance for that crap.
 
2020-09-05 2:45:39 PM  
At different points in my life was close to being homeless. No, not due to drugs or booze or stupid relationships. Just working class, very, very poor, like $40 bucks back in the day, would be groceries for a week or so. Could not, would not have any support from the parental units. They were well off, just extraordinarily dysfunctional. Thank God for the friends I had and have now-life is good. No real contact with most family members for the past 15-20 years.
I guess multi-generational housing is ok-but, there needs to be basic, agreed upon structures. Like, you're not the built in housecleaner, or the ever available baby sitter, or the chauffeur or the errand runner, or cook, for everyone in the household. Share the space, share the work seems to be a fair trade off.
 
2020-09-05 2:50:21 PM  

Permanent Solutions For Permanent Problems: A big reason multigenerational homes declined: an increase in people moving all over the country for work, either theirs or their spouse's.


This.  There are large chunks of the US that are depopulating, and where the population that remains is aging.  Young people are moving away because there's no work there.  Used to be, in the industrial era, that was "off the farm and into the city"; now, with deindustrialization, it's "out of the B, C, and D list cities and into the A-list cities", because the A-list places are the only ones that still have jobs for people educated to the bachelor's degree level or higher.

gameshowhost: 1. no, we don't need big ol houses for ourselves. that said, the development/building industry is a highly concentrated industry that ignores the starter home because profit. we need the choice.


A lot of the reason behind big old houses is "snob zoning".  Given a 40 acre parcel, many towns would rather have 20 homes of 2 acres each than 80 homes on a half-acre each, because schools are funded by local property taxes and the more homes you have, the more kids are in school.  So they zone for some ridiculous multi-acre minimum lot size, and of course you don't build a 1000sf home on a 2 acre lot, you build something that's 3200sf and has a 3 car garage and a tennis court and a swimming pool.
 
2020-09-05 2:53:51 PM  

bostonguy: krinklechip: Hard to live with a family that's disowned you for being gay, or trans, or any other multitude of outdated, bigoted thinking.

The father figure can rot for how he's treated myself and my siblings.

I've mentioned elsewhere how I'm no longer speaking to my parents as long as they continue to support Donald Trump.

But for what it's worth, there are myriad other reasons as well. For one, the last time I visited them, we went to a store to buy stuff for my little brother's wedding. There was a simple photo frame on the shelf with a same-sex couple in the example photo. My father looked at it and said, "That's gross."

I said, "No, it's not." He looked at me and yelled, "Yes, it is!"

I'm just a straight guy. But even I have no tolerance for that crap.


Oh, and when you point out that Donald Trump lies and commits adultery and violates so many of the big commandments, they don't even care. Don't get me started.
 
2020-09-05 3:02:10 PM  

patowen: Smackledorfer: patowen: luna1580: i sorta hate to be the one to say this, but is multi-generational-housing actually BAD?<snip>

When you have worked your whole life for a chance to retire and travel.

Unless the retired couple is well ng their house to fund the traveling, I see no reason why their travel interferes with multigenerational housing.

If anything, the savings created should help fund it.

Home equity is often a big part of your life savings.  But if that home is meant to provide multi-generational housing into perpetuity then you can never plan to sell that home, buy a catamaran and explore the Pacific for a few years before you die: you better just park that dream and learn to love doing laundry instead.

And what are these "savings" you write of?  Savings for who, on what?  Are we talking about a communal bank account too?


Is your idea of a multigenerational one in which only the eldest provide anything?

Because I don't.
 
2020-09-05 3:13:37 PM  

bostonguy: bostonguy: krinklechip: Hard to live with a family that's disowned you for being gay, or trans, or any other multitude of outdated, bigoted thinking.

The father figure can rot for how he's treated myself and my siblings.

I've mentioned elsewhere how I'm no longer speaking to my parents as long as they continue to support Donald Trump.

But for what it's worth, there are myriad other reasons as well. For one, the last time I visited them, we went to a store to buy stuff for my little brother's wedding. There was a simple photo frame on the shelf with a same-sex couple in the example photo. My father looked at it and said, "That's gross."

I said, "No, it's not." He looked at me and yelled, "Yes, it is!"

I'm just a straight guy. But even I have no tolerance for that crap.

Oh, and when you point out that Donald Trump lies and commits adultery and violates so many of the big commandments, they don't even care. Don't get me started.


Bluh. I hear you on that. Oddly, he's not for Trump and is uncaring about lgbt stuff... Unless it's his own kids, which is unfortunate for him as all three of us taste the rainbow in some way.

Just so much hate and anger. Not healthy for anyone to be around. So we dont. He lives alone and the sibs live with their mom for now. ...and i will live on the street before living with him if it ever comes to it.
 
2020-09-05 3:22:04 PM  

Smackledorfer: patowen: Smackledorfer: patowen: luna1580: i sorta hate to be the one to say this, but is multi-generational-housing actually BAD?<snip>

When you have worked your whole life for a chance to retire and travel.

Unless the retired couple is well ng their house to fund the traveling, I see no reason why their travel interferes with multigenerational housing.

If anything, the savings created should help fund it.

Home equity is often a big part of your life savings.  But if that home is meant to provide multi-generational housing into perpetuity then you can never plan to sell that home, buy a catamaran and explore the Pacific for a few years before you die: you better just park that dream and learn to love doing laundry instead.

And what are these "savings" you write of?  Savings for who, on what?  Are we talking about a communal bank account too?

Is your idea of a multigenerational one in which only the eldest provide anything?

Because I don't.


I butchered that post.

A planned multigenerational home should have all generations contributing something. Yes, that means adults in the home pay rent and do housework.

As such, a couple that raises their children to stay in the home should be more able to save for retirement and travel than one that doesn't.
 
2020-09-05 3:22:16 PM  

Smackledorfer: patowen: Smackledorfer: patowen: luna1580: i sorta hate to be the one to say this, but is multi-generational-housing actually BAD?<snip>

When you have worked your whole life for a chance to retire and travel.

Unless the retired couple is well ng their house to fund the traveling, I see no reason why their travel interferes with multigenerational housing.

If anything, the savings created should help fund it.

Home equity is often a big part of your life savings.  But if that home is meant to provide multi-generational housing into perpetuity then you can never plan to sell that home, buy a catamaran and explore the Pacific for a few years before you die: you better just park that dream and learn to love doing laundry instead.

And what are these "savings" you write of?  Savings for who, on what?  Are we talking about a communal bank account too?

Is your idea of a multigenerational one in which only the eldest provide anything?

Because I don't.


this.

why are so many farkers in this thread assuming "multigenerational" means "the eldest generation pays all the bills and taxes, cooks all the meals, does all the laundry, constantly babysits the grand kids, probably buys all the cars, and are repaid by being woken every other night by noisy farking or drunk bozos dropping pots and pans at 3am, and to top THAT all off, now they can NEVER trade in their house for a catamaran and chase THEIR own dreams!"

makes me think either you guys raised some selfish kids, or you yourselves can't ever imagine helping and respecting your own parents.

"multigenerational" can mean adult children being the main breadwinners and choosing to live with and support elders needing physical care or barely scraping by on social security and medicare. it can mean making life better for ALL the generations involved, not simply giving adult children permission to act like jobless 14 year olds again.
 
2020-09-05 3:26:08 PM  
Children, parents sand grandparents all living under the same roof has been the norm for most of human history. It has its pluses and minuses.
 
2020-09-05 3:34:53 PM  
It depends on the situation.

I live in a townhouse. A couple of years ago a registered nurse moved next door. She'd work crazy long shifts at the ER, then come home, try to get some sleep, and go back. She'd spend weekends basically recovering. Three bedroom townhouse with a ground floor, upstairs, and basement for one person that isn't home 18 hours a day.

She wound up moving in with her mom and just living in their spare room. 700 bucks a month for a place you're barely using didn't make sense. She's better off socking the money away, getting a house down-payment ready and using that.
 
2020-09-05 3:41:23 PM  

AgentKGB: It depends on the situation.

I live in a townhouse. A couple of years ago a registered nurse moved next door. She'd work crazy long shifts at the ER, then come home, try to get some sleep, and go back. She'd spend weekends basically recovering. Three bedroom townhouse with a ground floor, upstairs, and basement for one person that isn't home 18 hours a day.

She wound up moving in with her mom and just living in their spare room. 700 bucks a month for a place you're barely using didn't make sense. She's better off socking the money away, getting a house down-payment ready and using that.


holy shiat, you live somewhere where a "three bedroom townhouse with a ground floor, upstairs, and basement" rents for $700/month, but is still developed enough to have a hospital in commuting distance? where? is it nice there?
 
2020-09-05 3:47:30 PM  
I still live with my mother. We live next door to my grandmother, and we are her caretakers. We take shifts on watching her. I get my gram's house when she dies. There is literally no point for me to go buy a house or rent an apartment, when I getting a fully paid for house whenever my gram dies. In the next couple of years I may end up moving in with her to take care of her full time. We are trying to keep her independence as long as possible.
 
2020-09-05 3:47:51 PM  
It's funny this is all the kids are broke and need to move home when there's another piece to the equation which is parents getting farking old.

America is broke ya'll and retirement doesn't cover long term care requirements that go with Boomers aging out. My Dad cannot live more than a couple days without assistance at this point. So if something happens to my Mom darn right one of the kids is moving home because none of us can afford assisted living or would feel good about sending him to a covid castle.
 
2020-09-05 3:49:12 PM  

Vhale: My parents are getting of the age one of us should probably move back and take care of them. My mother is, a bit toxic. So that could be challenging. She owns her home outright and draws SS though, so certainly takes the pressure off the bills if that did happen.


Mine are in their 80s and health is trending down, so my caretaking days are not far off. But that's what we're supposed to do: our needs are taken care of when young, and we take care of the elders when the tome comes. All the middle is independence, finding our own pathways and our own lives. Ideally we learn to take care of ourselves (living fully independent) so that we're positioned better to take care of others later. Perhaps not old age, but anything that comes along such as major health issue, death of someone with dependents, or some other crisis that needs intervention.

Absolutely nothing wrong with more communal living. Nothing wrong with independent living either.
 
2020-09-05 3:58:59 PM  
More like 52% of parents have moved in with their kids.
 
2020-09-05 4:06:50 PM  

Smackledorfer: Petey4335: Respect sleep time. It is a needed function.
We created an society that either has to caffiene or amphetamine themselves to 99.9% functional efficiency. Daily. Because most people do not get enough good sleep.
Your personal disagreement just reflects you figured this out and refuse to partake in the drugs.

Different people have different schedules. It certainly doesn't all boil down to disagreements about amphetamine usage.

I'm guessing this portion of your post stems from a personal experience?


And how often to people keep filling that cup of coffee?
 
2020-09-05 4:09:07 PM  

kpaxoid: if you're still living in the house where your kids grew up, they just automatically assume that they can come back and occupy their old bedroom at any time.  And bring their own children and partner along.

So there are a number of options:

. modify the bedrooms into fitness rooms, model railroad rooms, kinky sex rooms, whatever


This is what I did after my daughter moved out. I carved out a one-bedroom apartment from the three unused bedrooms on the one side of the main level (her former domain) by converting the biggest bedroom into a living room and the smallest one into a kitchen.

Once I finished the project, she actually floated the idea of her and her boyfriend renting it from me, but I declined, since she was more than capable of renting pretty much any old where, and having come from a family of multi-generational living (on my dad's side), I knew it wasn't nearly as rosy as some like to portray it.
 
2020-09-05 4:10:16 PM  
Welcome to Biden's America biatches!

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-09-05 4:14:07 PM  

Petey4335: Smackledorfer: Petey4335: Respect sleep time. It is a needed function.
We created an society that either has to caffiene or amphetamine themselves to 99.9% functional efficiency. Daily. Because most people do not get enough good sleep.
Your personal disagreement just reflects you figured this out and refuse to partake in the drugs.

Different people have different schedules. It certainly doesn't all boil down to disagreements about amphetamine usage.

I'm guessing this portion of your post stems from a personal experience?

And how often to people keep filling that cup of coffee?


I drink about two cups a day. Less on weekends, an extra on long days.

Any sleep schedule issues I have with housemates stem from working third shift.
 
2020-09-05 4:30:35 PM  

luna1580: holy shiat, you live somewhere where a "three bedroom townhouse with a ground floor, upstairs, and basement" rents for $700/month, but is still developed enough to have a hospital in commuting distance? where? is it nice there?


British Columbia, Canada.
 
2020-09-05 4:37:38 PM  

Smackledorfer: Petey4335: Smackledorfer: Petey4335: Respect sleep time. It is a needed function.
We created an society that either has to caffiene or amphetamine themselves to 99.9% functional efficiency. Daily. Because most people do not get enough good sleep.
Your personal disagreement just reflects you figured this out and refuse to partake in the drugs.

Different people have different schedules. It certainly doesn't all boil down to disagreements about amphetamine usage.

I'm guessing this portion of your post stems from a personal experience?

And how often to people keep filling that cup of coffee?

I drink about two cups a day. Less on weekends, an extra on long days.

Any sleep schedule issues I have with housemates stem from working third shift.


My point being caffeine should be a choice, not a requirement to keep going.
 
2020-09-05 4:37:50 PM  
And i drink it all the time.
 
2020-09-05 4:44:49 PM  

cherryl taggart: My kids that can stay clean and sober are welcome to stay forever.  They know they will always be my babies, no matter what.  They get that I will worry over their grooming, nutrition, cash management and if they don't like that, they are free to head out anytime.

OTOH, the kids that steal to support a habit, try to call collect from jail, traffic in controlled substances from my property all need to move and keep on going.

One of my drama llama kids regularly recruits people with tales of woe and how awful life is here.  As soon as the ally comes around, the truth is revealed and drama llama ding dong can't understand why no one stays loyal.

I'll open my home to people I barely know, and run the risk of having squatter issues.  What I won't put up with is my kid demanding to be catered to and coddled while the rest of us are scrambling to pay bills and keep our jobs.


Tough love fills as many graves as murder.
🙄
 
2020-09-05 4:58:08 PM  
I don't want to ever live with my parents - I'd rather shoot myself in the face - but if my daughter wants to live with me when she becomes an adult, I'm fine with it. She's awesome. 

All that is to say, living with awesome people is awesome. Living with not-awesome people: not so awesome.
 
2020-09-05 4:59:55 PM  

luna1580: Smackledorfer: patowen: Smackledorfer: patowen: luna1580: i sorta hate to be the one to say this, but is multi-generational-housing actually BAD?<snip>

"multigenerational" can mean adult children being the main breadwinners and choosing to live with and support elders needing physical care or barely scraping by on social security and medicare. it can mean making life better for ALL the generations involved, not simply giving adult children permission to act like jobless 14 year olds again.


Somewhere back in this thread someone referred to "planned multigenerational housing".  That actually sounds great.  I think it's the "unplanned" version that causes trouble. 

Part of my (admittedly bad) attitude is that I'm forced into an unplanned housing situation to care for my adult autistic son.  He contributes his disability benefits, and sadly also their disadvantages.  We dont have a big extended family, so I'm the only thing keeping him from state provided housing.  I could never do that to him, so multi-generational it is and we are lucky to be able to do it.

/will somehow make it to Tonga
 
2020-09-05 5:02:34 PM  

waxbeans: cherryl taggart: My kids that can stay clean and sober are welcome to stay forever.  They know they will always be my babies, no matter what.  They get that I will worry over their grooming, nutrition, cash management and if they don't like that, they are free to head out anytime.

OTOH, the kids that steal to support a habit, try to call collect from jail, traffic in controlled substances from my property all need to move and keep on going.

One of my drama llama kids regularly recruits people with tales of woe and how awful life is here.  As soon as the ally comes around, the truth is revealed and drama llama ding dong can't understand why no one stays loyal.

I'll open my home to people I barely know, and run the risk of having squatter issues.  What I won't put up with is my kid demanding to be catered to and coddled while the rest of us are scrambling to pay bills and keep our jobs.

Tough love fills as many graves as murder.
🙄


When you want someone or something permanently out of your life it's called hate. Ms taggart here clearly and wisely hates chronic deadbeats.
 
2020-09-05 5:02:50 PM  
This is why Trump's re-election in 2020 and subsequent destruction of the American economy and political system will be a relief for me.

Why should I care about an economy and political system that doesn't cater to me? Why should I care?

/Burn it down for all I care.
 
2020-09-05 5:04:43 PM  

patowen: luna1580: Smackledorfer: patowen: Smackledorfer: patowen: luna1580: i sorta hate to be the one to say this, but is multi-generational-housing actually BAD?<snip>

"multigenerational" can mean adult children being the main breadwinners and choosing to live with and support elders needing physical care or barely scraping by on social security and medicare. it can mean making life better for ALL the generations involved, not simply giving adult children permission to act like jobless 14 year olds again.

Somewhere back in this thread someone referred to "planned multigenerational housing".  That actually sounds great.  I think it's the "unplanned" version that causes trouble. 

Part of my (admittedly bad) attitude is that I'm forced into an unplanned housing situation to care for my adult autistic son.  He contributes his disability benefits, and sadly also their disadvantages.  We dont have a big extended family, so I'm the only thing keeping him from state provided housing.  I could never do that to him, so multi-generational it is and we are lucky to be able to do it.

/will somehow make it to Tonga


Somewhere back in this thread?

It was Luna, and it's in this very post string. The one in which you replied to saying it would be bad for old folks who wanted to travel. Literally the context here was about "planned" multigenerational living.

:)

I can only imagine the difficulty of having an autistic child who you knew could never care for themselves.
 
2020-09-05 5:10:05 PM  

geekbikerskum: Permanent Solutions For Permanent Problems: A big reason multigenerational homes declined: an increase in people moving all over the country for work, either theirs or their spouse's.

This.  There are large chunks of the US that are depopulating, and where the population that remains is aging.  Young people are moving away because there's no work there.  Used to be, in the industrial era, that was "off the farm and into the city"; now, with deindustrialization, it's "out of the B, C, and D list cities and into the A-list cities", because the A-list places are the only ones that still have jobs for people educated to the bachelor's degree level or higher.

gameshowhost: 1. no, we don't need big ol houses for ourselves. that said, the development/building industry is a highly concentrated industry that ignores the starter home because profit. we need the choice.

A lot of the reason behind big old houses is "snob zoning".  Given a 40 acre parcel, many towns would rather have 20 homes of 2 acres each than 80 homes on a half-acre each, because schools are funded by local property taxes and the more homes you have, the more kids are in school.  So they zone for some ridiculous multi-acre minimum lot size, and of course you don't build a 1000sf home on a 2 acre lot, you build something that's 3200sf and has a 3 car garage and a tennis court and a swimming pool.


3200 is a bit small for what you are describing unless you aren't counting a basement.
 
2020-09-05 5:18:57 PM  
52% of young adults in the US are living with their parents, the highest share since the Great Depression ...

What percentage of them have a Fark account?
 
2020-09-05 5:31:19 PM  

Smackledorfer: patowen: luna1580: Smackledorfer: patowen: Smackledorfer: patowen: luna1580: i sorta hate to be the one to say this, but is multi-generational-housing actually BAD?

It was Luna, and it's in this very post string. The one in which you replied to saying it would be bad for old folks who wanted to travel. Literally the context here was about "planned" multigenerational living.


and TFA which is about the wave of unplanned co-living.

Thanks for the nice thoughts about patowen jr.  Yea sometimes it gets hard, but then I just go shiatpost and it gets a little better  ;-)
 
2020-09-05 6:09:26 PM  

Bruscar: Gramma: bostonguy: Mugato: I dunno, I (sadly) live alone but what's wrong with living with your family?

Because your parents never stop treating you like a child. I'm almost 40, and they want to give me a curfew whenever I visit. And I still never feel like a full-fledged adult whenever I'm around them.

I'm  a bit like that. I don't want to hear the front door open at 4 am. Get in at a reasonable time or spend the  night somewhere else. And that is okay. You want to spend the night at your boyfriend's place?  Go for it.  You want to wake me  up and get  the dogs all spun up in the wee hours, NO.

You had to put up with that and more from your roommate in or just after college. If your children are adults, treat them like adults just as you did with your roommates. And buy a white noise machine and take some Melatonin.


i have never had a  roommate.
 
2020-09-05 6:18:04 PM  

luna1580: i sorta hate to be the one to say this, but is multi-generational-housing actually BAD?


It's not bad if it's a voluntary option.
It is bad if the economy is so f'ked that it's either bunk up or be on the street.
 
2020-09-05 6:24:47 PM  

Smackledorfer: patowen: Smackledorfer: patowen: luna1580: i sorta hate to be the one to say this, but is multi-generational-housing actually BAD?<snip>

When you have worked your whole life for a chance to retire and travel.

Unless the retired couple is well ng their house to fund the traveling, I see no reason why their travel interferes with multigenerational housing.

If anything, the savings created should help fund it.

Home equity is often a big part of your life savings.  But if that home is meant to provide multi-generational housing into perpetuity then you can never plan to sell that home, buy a catamaran and explore the Pacific for a few years before you die: you better just park that dream and learn to love doing laundry instead.

And what are these "savings" you write of?  Savings for who, on what?  Are we talking about a communal bank account too?

Is your idea of a multigenerational one in which only the eldest provide anything?

Because I don't.


Next week my ancient mom will be moving in with us. She gets a pittance from social security. Not enough to cover her own food and medicine. So I'll be providing the funds. My daughter will be doing a lot of the work involved. And hopefully we will all adjust ok to the addition to the household.  The house is only 900 sq ft so having 3 generations of women at once in it will be a challenge.
 
2020-09-05 6:29:20 PM  

bostonguy: jso2897: We're in a depression now, and everybody but Wall Street knows it.
1929 called - they didn't say anything - just heavy breathing.

I wouldn't go that far.

The 1929 and 2008 crashes had underlying major economic issues. This one is artificial and forced.

As soon as the pandemic is over, things should return to 90% normal relatively quickly. (That's what happened after the Spanish Flu.) The hard part is keeping everything together until the pandemic is over. Governments should be giving money to people so they can survive. And everyone needs to keep distant and wear their damn masks, or the pandemic will not end.

/ rant over


You are dead wrong. Bush will have to keep pumping cash into private businesses like tRump has or the system will collapse. 0% interest rates and producing more cash than we ever have on a system not based on gold and silver is a disaster waiting to happen.
 
2020-09-05 6:29:50 PM  
What am I saying Bush?!? Biden...
 
2020-09-05 6:30:50 PM  
I won the parental lottery. I could not ask for better parents.

That said, I just wanted the personal freedom. When I turned 21 I was out except for 1 summer. Out of my siblings, I am the anti-social one. Who knows if I'll marry, but kids are a 0 in my book. Chances are when my parents hit "need help" stage, they'll crash with me. And I dont mind it, again, cuz they are two of the best people I know. No matter what though, they have said that if I ever need the couch again, I am more than welcome.

/But like others above, they said I would have to foot some bills and get a job
//I wouldnt want to mooch them
 
2020-09-05 6:53:52 PM  

jso2897: We're in a depression now, and everybody but Wall Street knows it.
1929 called - they didn't say anything - just heavy breathing.


Plus, there's  advantages to roommates you already know. If you can work out ground rules, it goes pretty well.

/yep
//of course I also now live with idiots...
 
2020-09-05 7:09:21 PM  
Babushka is a much better cook than my wife..
Me and the younglings are most appreciative..
 
2020-09-05 7:15:35 PM  

It'sMorphin'Time: jso2897: We're in a depression now, and everybody but Wall Street knows it.
1929 called - they didn't say anything - just heavy breathing.

Plus, there's  advantages to roommates you already know. If you can work out ground rules, it goes pretty well.

/yep
//of course I also now live with idiots...


I lived with a guy once after college. One night he got so drunk he punched holes in the wall to the apartment, and left. He said he was going to drive to his Dad's place an hour away. I had to call the cops on him. He chugged a fifth, no way he was not going to kill himself or someone else. Im not talking like 1 beer over the limit here. He was in full blackout mode. Got a DUI and I kicked him out and just paid out the rest of lease without him.

I honestly hope he is doing well. This was years ago, water under the bridge. Hopefully he has it all together. I wouldnt mind seeing him again, just a rough patch in that guy's life.

But that too was the reason I have opted not to have roommates again.
 
2020-09-05 7:32:06 PM  

thurstonxhowell: Mugato: I dunno, I (sadly) live alone but what's wrong with living with your family?

There nothing inherently wrong with it. If just only do it if I failed.

The problem is that there are places where good jobs exist for me and there are places that are cheap to be retired in. There is no overlap.


Yup. The places where the jobs are cost too much to live i because everybody wants to be there... for the jobs.
The places where the cost of living is low enough to afford on one job or on retirement income have... no jobs.

And it's getting worse.
 
2020-09-05 8:00:44 PM  

El_Dan: Today on Fark I learned that it is impossible to come home late without waking up everyone in the house. Parking in the driveway and quietly entering through the back door is simply not an option worth considering, instead there must be a battle over curfews.


It depends where your parents sleep relative to the doors, and how lightly. Ditto for the dogs.

If you have a parent who likes to fall asleep on the living room couch watching TV you're screwed.
 
2020-09-05 8:24:46 PM  

Abox: waxbeans: cherryl taggart: My kids that can stay clean and sober are welcome to stay forever.  They know they will always be my babies, no matter what.  They get that I will worry over their grooming, nutrition, cash management and if they don't like that, they are free to head out anytime.

OTOH, the kids that steal to support a habit, try to call collect from jail, traffic in controlled substances from my property all need to move and keep on going.

One of my drama llama kids regularly recruits people with tales of woe and how awful life is here.  As soon as the ally comes around, the truth is revealed and drama llama ding dong can't understand why no one stays loyal.

I'll open my home to people I barely know, and run the risk of having squatter issues.  What I won't put up with is my kid demanding to be catered to and coddled while the rest of us are scrambling to pay bills and keep our jobs.

Tough love fills as many graves as murder.
🙄

When you want someone or something permanently out of your life it's called hate. Ms taggart here clearly and wisely hates chronic deadbeats.


Or don't make those humans to begin with. Otherwise you are just burdening Society with your failures.
🙄
 
2020-09-05 9:54:19 PM  

raerae1980: bostonguy: Mugato: I dunno, I (sadly) live alone but what's wrong with living with your family?

Because your parents never stop treating you like a child. I'm almost 40, and they want to give me a curfew whenever I visit. And I still never feel like a full-fledged adult whenever I'm around them.

Same here (._.)
I didnt move out until i was 26, and i still had a curfew up to the day of my wedding.    It would be very hard for me to adjust living under their roof again.


I'm a father of many daughters.  My kiddos normally stop having a curfew their senior year in high school. As a matter of fact, if we can get away with it, we don't make ANY decisions for them that year.  They do it all, and they explain their decisions to us. We sometimes coach them, especially if they ask, but generally we let them make decisions and occasionally fail while they still have a net.  My daughter is oldest is in college now, but when she comes home, she has almost no rules other than "be a good room mate."   She voluntarily helps with dishes, helps clean, watches some of the other kiddos so we can have date night, etc, and she absolutely loathes getting any financial assistance from us beyond room and board.   Bottom line, she can stay as long as she wants, because she makes my life better, and she's in no hurry to leave because we're not assholes and she learned to be a productive member of our household a loooong time ago.
 
2020-09-05 10:16:46 PM  

Calypsocookie: *raises hand*

I've lived alone for 22 years up until last April when mom moved in. Lost my job in March and was officially laid off August 31st. I have my health insurance for one more month and then nada. Vegas is kicking the ball a little further down the street with the eviction moratorium but with no new conferences, shows, or events planned for the foreseeable future its not looking like I'll be self sufficient anytime soon.


I don't know how it is in Nevada, but ACA pricing is pretty good in New York if one is unemployed. Also, if one is ina state with domestic partner health benefits, parents should be covered. These state by state rules are pretty bullshiat, though.
 
2020-09-05 10:36:53 PM  
Wayne lives with his parents and broadcasts his show "live" from the basement of their house every Friday evening at 10:30
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-09-06 11:43:25 AM  

Calypsocookie: *raises hand*

I've lived alone for 22 years up until last April when mom moved in. Lost my job in March and was officially laid off August 31st. I have my health insurance for one more month and then nada. Vegas is kicking the ball a little further down the street with the eviction moratorium but with no new conferences, shows, or events planned for the foreseeable future its not looking like I'll be self sufficient anytime soon.


Hey CC.
Since we got into September I've been looking around for you and seemed to have been missing your comments.
I had recalled that you said you'll get the final verdict in August and I'm sorry to hear it's not what you had hoped for.

Good luck to you and your mom.
:|
 
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