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(Yahoo)   20 things you should never do when cooking bacon, such as taking naked selfies in range of splattering grease   (yahoo.com) divider line
    More: PSA, Bacon, common bacon mistakes, Cook Bacon, Culinary art, best bacon, Use bacon grease, home chefs, Cooking  
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1001 clicks; posted to Food » on 31 Aug 2020 at 4:50 PM (7 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



41 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2020-08-31 5:19:43 PM  
Bacon is fine. I like it by itself, I like it as a sandwich on toasted and buttered bread with a strong cheese, I like it on a cheeseburger or chicken sandwich.

I have a hard time appreciating bacon anywhere else. I feel that the bacon flavor then overpowers whatever else it is I intend to eat. As an example: Five meat pizza -> Bacon pizza.

/besides i'm intent upon marrying a jewish woman and even though she said she doesn't care what i eat i do care about cross-contamination and hidden moments
 
2020-08-31 6:14:13 PM  
Don't kink shame me subby.  It sets the mood 😈
 
2020-08-31 6:21:57 PM  

Axeofjudgement: Don't kink shame me subby.  It sets the mood 😈


Ah, the rare screaming, swearing, and "No don't touch it/them omg ow ow" fetish
 
2020-08-31 6:43:51 PM  

Some Junkie Cosmonaut: Axeofjudgement: Don't kink shame me subby.  It sets the mood 😈

Ah, the rare screaming, swearing, and "No don't touch it/them omg ow ow" fetish


Nude bacon frying is an extreme sport.
 
2020-08-31 6:57:29 PM  
Ah yes the conflicting advice article. "Use a cast iron pan" "don't cook it in a frying pan, cook it in the oven". "Only get it thick sliced" " slice it thin" "save the grease" "use paper towels to soak up the grease".

So basically everything is wrong.
 
2020-08-31 6:59:44 PM  

Cyber Duck: Ah yes the conflicting advice article. "Use a cast iron pan" "don't cook it in a frying pan, cook it in the oven". "Only get it thick sliced" " slice it thin" "save the grease" "use paper towels to soak up the grease".

So basically everything is wrong.


Wrong!
 
2020-08-31 7:05:29 PM  

Some Junkie Cosmonaut: Cyber Duck: Ah yes the conflicting advice article. "Use a cast iron pan" "don't cook it in a frying pan, cook it in the oven". "Only get it thick sliced" " slice it thin" "save the grease" "use paper towels to soak up the grease".

So basically everything is wrong.

Wrong!


remain calm

b. all is well
 
2020-08-31 7:06:41 PM  

Some Junkie Cosmonaut: Axeofjudgement: Don't kink shame me subby.  It sets the mood 😈

Ah, the rare screaming, swearing, and "No don't touch it/them omg ow ow" fetish


Really ain't that bad when you've been been burned to hell and cut up so often you really don't recognize pain until you're painting red on a jobsite. Don't even flinch when I get a 1500 degree brazing rod is stabbed into me anymore (farking apprentices)

Who and where is the blood coming from? What smells like really bad cooking?

Oh... dude I work with in his 60s looks like he's a cutter. And its rare to see someone with more scars than me. Same thing. You'll see metal tear the skin or brush against a hot fitting or something. Just no flinch. No registration of pain.

Its interesting what the human body will adapt to. When I removed my thumb and waited 36 hours for surgery (even telling them to remove the pain killer from my IV) there, just was a sense of wrongness and dull ache.

Punching my entire thumb through the palm of my hand hurt less than running a marathon.
 
2020-08-31 7:12:33 PM  
"Story Continues"
pics.me.meView Full Size
 
2020-08-31 7:42:29 PM  
I'm waiting for an "Americas Test Kitchen" episode on cooking bacon.

I imagine it would be like this-

Remove bacon from packaging
add 1 tsp of baking soda
put in fridge for 3 minutes
remove from fridge and shake for 30 seconds
microwave an empty plate for 10 seconds, add bacon to plate
put in fridge for 1 minute
pre-heat oven to 372
add bacon to oven vertically
cook on one side for 37 seconds
flip left to right and cook the other side for 7 minutes
remove bacon and hang with clothes pin for 37 seconds

Enjoy!!!
 
2020-08-31 7:51:09 PM  
Low and slow is the big takeaway. It's especially important early on when the pan is dry. Use a quarter cup of water to start off.

For most people you should get a square cast iron pan for bacon, as well as a cooking weight, which is just a piece of cast iron with a handle on it. It cooks more evenly and doesn't curl as much.

The most important rule is that if you question whether a piece is done, it's already done. The grease layer plays tricks on you so it doesn't look as cooked as it really is.

Another tidbit is that if you have a fatty end that won't cook all the way, you can mash it into the cooking surface to make crackling.

Also try different brands. There's good cheap bacon and there's meh expensive bacon. If your butcher offers bacon, I definitely recommend that over prepackaged. The diy rub is also a must. Brown sugar, pepper, Tabasco, HP sauce, etc.
 
2020-08-31 8:04:34 PM  
the secret to bacon is to have someone else cook it.
 
2020-08-31 8:08:57 PM  
I've been getting great results baking my bacon.  Perfectly cooked if you cook it on a rack.  Line the pan for easy cleanup.
 
2020-08-31 8:25:38 PM  

Cyber Duck: Ah yes the conflicting advice article. "Use a cast iron pan" "don't cook it in a frying pan, cook it in the oven". "Only get it thick sliced" " slice it thin" "save the grease" "use paper towels to soak up the grease".

So basically everything is wrong.


I've been buying thick-sliced, cooking it in the oven* about 90%, then laying it out on paper towels.  The grease goes in the grease mug in the fridge and the dogs finish the cleanup.  "Extra" rashers go in the fridge. Eat it cold or crisp it up in a frying pan.

*350F for as long as it takes 15-30 minutes.  Any hotter and the grease will smoke.
 
2020-08-31 8:45:47 PM  
Thick-sliced and baked. Sounds like me.
 
2020-08-31 8:50:02 PM  
Local butcher makes the best bacon I've had yet, they just need to nail the consistency. Most times it's better than Hempler's. Not soapy like some brands can be, perfect balance of sweet and salty, and the pork flavor actually comes thru. Local pigs! Cold pan, low and slow, leave it a little floppy, and strain the renderings.

The real question for the farkers here: what do you do with your bacon drippings?
 
2020-08-31 9:35:58 PM  
325 for 20 minutes?  Does the article writer like his bacon raw or something?

I go 375 for at least 30 minutes so that it's COOKED!
 
2020-08-31 9:53:54 PM  

NINEv2: Local butcher makes the best bacon I've had yet, they just need to nail the consistency. Most times it's better than Hempler's. Not soapy like some brands can be, perfect balance of sweet and salty, and the pork flavor actually comes thru. Local pigs! Cold pan, low and slow, leave it a little floppy, and strain the renderings.

The real question for the farkers here: what do you do with your bacon drippings?


Tasty refried beans.
 
2020-08-31 9:54:34 PM  

buckeyebrain: 325 for 20 minutes?  Does the article writer like his bacon raw or something?

I go 375 for at least 30 minutes so that it's COOKED!


yeah, that's going to still be fairly raw at that low temp/time especially if it's thicker cut.

I've never had the problem of the oven smoking like in the article. I do 425 for 20 min straight on the sheet pan. Originally got that temp/time from Kenji and it's always worked well.
 
2020-08-31 10:05:15 PM  

Joey Jo Jo Jr Shabadu: buckeyebrain: 325 for 20 minutes?  Does the article writer like his bacon raw or something?

I go 375 for at least 30 minutes so that it's COOKED!

yeah, that's going to still be fairly raw at that low temp/time especially if it's thicker cut.

I've never had the problem of the oven smoking like in the article. I do 425 for 20 min straight on the sheet pan. Originally got that temp/time from Kenji and it's always worked well.


I use a rack.  Maybe I'll try 425 next week, though.
 
2020-08-31 10:22:15 PM  

Isitoveryet: the secret to bacon is to have someone else cook it.


Don't kid yourself Jimmy, that pig would do the same to you, if you let it.

signed, Troy McClure
 
2020-08-31 10:33:23 PM  

Bartle J.: NINEv2: Local butcher makes the best bacon I've had yet, they just need to nail the consistency. Most times it's better than Hempler's. Not soapy like some brands can be, perfect balance of sweet and salty, and the pork flavor actually comes thru. Local pigs! Cold pan, low and slow, leave it a little floppy, and strain the renderings.

The real question for the farkers here: what do you do with your bacon drippings?

Tasty refried beans.


Brown the meat and soften the veggies for me Sunday gravy
 
2020-08-31 10:45:48 PM  

Axeofjudgement: Some Junkie Cosmonaut: Axeofjudgement: Don't kink shame me subby.  It sets the mood 😈

Ah, the rare screaming, swearing, and "No don't touch it/them omg ow ow" fetish

Really ain't that bad when you've been been burned to hell and cut up so often you really don't recognize pain until you're painting red on a jobsite. Don't even flinch when I get a 1500 degree brazing rod is stabbed into me anymore (farking apprentices)

Who and where is the blood coming from? What smells like really bad cooking?

Oh... dude I work with in his 60s looks like he's a cutter. And its rare to see someone with more scars than me. Same thing. You'll see metal tear the skin or brush against a hot fitting or something. Just no flinch. No registration of pain.

Its interesting what the human body will adapt to. When I removed my thumb and waited 36 hours for surgery (even telling them to remove the pain killer from my IV) there, just was a sense of wrongness and dull ache.

Punching my entire thumb through the palm of my hand hurt less than running a marathon.


Username checks out.
 
2020-08-31 11:21:51 PM  

Axeofjudgement: Its interesting what the human body will adapt to. When I removed my thumb and waited 36 hours for surgery (even telling them to remove the pain killer from my IV) there, just was a sense of wrongness and dull ache.


Get out of my bedroom.
 
2020-08-31 11:29:27 PM  
As someone who makes their own bacon, I'll chime in with a few points...

Thick bacon is better than thin. (I had 1/4" thick slices the other day)
Air frying is the best way to cook bacon.
Sweet, savory and salty is where it is at. My brine has garlic, molasses, thyme, sage, black pepper, salt, maple syrup, sugar and soy sauce to name some of the ingredients.
Of course I save the grease, the flavor is amazing!

Oh, while apple smoke is perfectly acceptable, I use cherry chunks mixed with some hickory chips to get them started. Pure heaven...

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-08-31 11:46:12 PM  
NINEv2:

Use bacon grease for vegetables. Soups, tonkotsu ramen would likely benefit. Use it to grease up a pan for cornbread. Cornbread is really bland without it.

The possibilities are really endless. It's even a good cutting lube for steel, especially with threading taps.
 
2020-08-31 11:47:57 PM  

Percise1: As someone who makes their own bacon, I'll chime in with a few points...

Thick bacon is better than thin. (I had 1/4" thick slices the other day)
Air frying is the best way to cook bacon.
Sweet, savory and salty is where it is at. My brine has garlic, molasses, thyme, sage, black pepper, salt, maple syrup, sugar and soy sauce to name some of the ingredients.
Of course I save the grease, the flavor is amazing!

Oh, while apple smoke is perfectly acceptable, I use cherry chunks mixed with some hickory chips to get them started. Pure heaven...

[Fark user image image 850x637]


Now that's a health chunk of bacon!

It's uncanny how much pork belly smells like bacon. You'd think that's where it comes from.
 
2020-08-31 11:51:03 PM  

Stibium: NINEv2:

Use bacon grease for vegetables. Soups, tonkotsu ramen would likely benefit. Use it to grease up a pan for cornbread. Cornbread is really bland without it.

The possibilities are really endless. It's even a good cutting lube for steel, especially with threading taps.


I do if I'm not concerned about going healthy. I start my pasta sauce veggies in bacon fat too.
 
2020-09-01 12:10:45 AM  
I do my popcorn in bacon fat
 
2020-09-01 8:18:12 AM  
I like my bacon thin, crispy and fresh from the microwave.  If I wanted a thick slice of chewy bacon, I'd cook a slab of ham.

Deal with it.
 
2020-09-01 10:12:18 AM  
Not trying Jowl Bacon (Granny from the Beverly Hillbillies cooked up hog jowl all the time)
Not using the leftover bacon grease for popping pop corn.

Thick and meaty Hog Jowl bacon
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-09-01 11:14:33 AM  
Candied bacon is where it's at. Keeps well but it never lasts long enough to even think about going bad...
 
2020-09-01 12:12:40 PM  
20, and the first two are stupid. So no reason to click through to the others.

Cook bacon the way you want. There. All better now.

But yeah, you probably want to cover up your front when cooking bacon. Spattering grease and/or hot pans can so easily go to places you don't want them to.
 
2020-09-01 2:02:20 PM  
I just want to say that a baking sheet lined with parchment paper and 15 minutes in the oven yields beautiful bacon and when you pour out the grease, the pan is still clean somehow due to the parchement paper.
 
2020-09-01 2:46:40 PM  
I've been getting bacon from the deli counter. It is way cheaper, and has less fat. The pre-packaged stuff looks like all fat once you go deli bacon. At least from Tops in CNY.
 
2020-09-01 4:05:24 PM  

fsufan: Not trying Jowl Bacon (Granny from the Beverly Hillbillies cooked up hog jowl all the time)
Not using the leftover bacon grease for popping pop corn.

Thick and meaty Hog Jowl bacon
[Fark user image 474x355]


I bought some hog jowl bacon and whatever brand I bought was just crazy, painfully salty.  Then again, I rarely use salt so heckn everything is salty to me.
 
2020-09-01 5:49:04 PM  
I usually get the ends and peices. It all comes outa the meat department anyway and its quite a bit cheaper. Candies up just fine, cooks up crispy too...
 
2020-09-01 8:08:45 PM  
In the oven, with aluminum foil lining a pan; helps with the mess. i put the oven on 400 and flip the bacon around the 15 minute mark, then another 15 minutes but start watching it a little closer from there on out... unless i cheaped out and bought thin,trash kroger-brand stuff.

I'm not a chef and a can of grease would just take up space in the fridge, so i just dump the grease in the trash.
 
2020-09-01 8:34:21 PM  

fsufan: Not trying Jowl Bacon (Granny from the Beverly Hillbillies cooked up hog jowl all the time)
Not using the leftover bacon grease for popping pop corn.

Thick and meaty Hog Jowl bacon
[Fark user image 474x355]


Err... you call that meaty?
*cringes*
 
2020-09-01 11:27:58 PM  

phedex: In the oven, with aluminum foil lining a pan; helps with the mess. i put the oven on 400 and flip the bacon around the 15 minute mark, then another 15 minutes but start watching it a little closer from there on out... unless i cheaped out and bought thin,trash kroger-brand stuff.

I'm not a chef and a can of grease would just take up space in the fridge, so i just dump the grease in the trash.


Your loss. It also makes a fine spinach salad dressing.
 
2020-09-02 2:42:22 AM  

NINEv2: The real question for the farkers here: what do you do with your bacon drippings?


Keep them in a ramekin near the stove and, when I inevitably don't find any use for the drippings in two weeks, I toss them.  Seems like they should be more useful but I guess I don't fry a lot of things, most of what I do use ends up in chili.
 
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