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(CNN)   Border Patrol seize 78 pounds of cocaine, worth over $1 million, after it washed up on a Florida beach (w/pic of the 76 pounds of cocaine)   (cnn.com) divider line
    More: Florida, Florida, South Florida metropolitan area, US Border Patrol Miami Sector, Broward County, Florida, United States Border Patrol, Border Patrol agents, Fort Lauderdale, Hollywood Police Department  
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2827 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Aug 2020 at 11:50 PM (8 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



49 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2020-08-30 4:36:11 PM  
Cocaine found in Hollywood? I'm shocked, I tell you, shocked!

(Name a place "Hollywood" and the coke is sure to follow.)
 
2020-08-30 4:46:09 PM  
Glad to see the Cigarette Navy is still alive and well.
 
2020-08-30 4:52:58 PM  
What you did there, subby. :)
 
2020-08-30 4:56:29 PM  
McConnell will be a sad sleepy turtle without his fix.
 
2020-08-30 5:02:00 PM  
Thanks goodness. The end of cocaine forever!
 
2020-08-30 5:09:26 PM  
Kim and Eric will make sure the evidence is properly disposed of, not to worry.
 
2020-08-30 5:11:11 PM  
Shoot, a fella could have a pretty good weekend in Vegas with all that stuff!
 
2020-08-30 5:17:35 PM  
Oh great, we're posting Trump threads from the future now?
 
2020-08-30 6:09:10 PM  
Bout the average White House weekend
 
2020-08-30 6:53:23 PM  
The pic shows 30 kilos which is 66 lbs. If their numbers are right, they are missing 5 kilos of coke.
 
2020-08-30 8:52:46 PM  
66 lbs is 29.937 kg. Not 30 kg. Which would be 30,000g. But I'll allow it as 63g - a little more than two ounces - is really just rounding error. Nobody will ever notice the difference, nor will they care.

i.chzbgr.comView Full Size
 
2020-08-30 9:47:54 PM  
 
2020-08-30 10:00:08 PM  

sithon: The pic shows 30 kilos which is 66 lbs. If their numbers are right, they are missing 5 kilos of coke.


cop math
 
2020-08-30 10:21:38 PM  
The Reverend Horton Heat - Bales of Cocaine
Youtube z7eD2PFBhlE
 
2020-08-30 10:44:34 PM  
Tropical Storm Omar robbed and killed the guys who were holding it
 
2020-08-30 10:55:10 PM  
That blows.
 
2020-08-30 11:02:38 PM  
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2020-08-30 11:43:17 PM  
encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.comView Full Size
 
2020-08-30 11:51:14 PM  
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2020-08-30 11:59:20 PM  
You're shipment just got Giulfouyle'd
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That voracious coke vacuum cleaner
 
2020-08-31 12:00:18 AM  
Just think of the amount out there if that much can just wash up somewhere.
 
2020-08-31 12:01:02 AM  
78 pounds just floating off the east coast and my guy can't get DICK!
 
2020-08-31 12:02:02 AM  
It's just a distraction from the real contraband.

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2020-08-31 12:03:48 AM  
Junior is gonna get a dope slap again.

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2020-08-31 12:07:58 AM  
And that picture shows why pot is still illegal. A million dollars' worth of pot is a MUCH more impressive pile, so even small busts look good on TV as they justify the war on drugs.
 
2020-08-31 12:10:31 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-08-31 12:21:43 AM  

plecos: Shoot, a fella could have a pretty good weekend in Vegas with all that stuff!


That's what John Entwistle thought

On second thought, coke and a Vegas stripper does sound like a pretty good weekend
 
2020-08-31 12:33:41 AM  
I guess it's a lot of coke but what am I supposed to do Sunday night?
 
2020-08-31 12:39:58 AM  
That's just what fell off the raft. They've been floating mats of barely buoyant bricks up the coast using the streams with phones stuck to them. Why risk crew getting arrested and boats nabbed when you can let nature get your packages halfway up the coast.
 
2020-08-31 12:41:38 AM  

Biledriver: I guess it's a lot of coke but what am I supposed to do Sunday night?


You could always keep torturing rats with a hacksaw and tearing wings off of flies.  Just like a Saturday.
 
2020-08-31 1:10:49 AM  
Border Patrol seize 78 pounds of cocaine, worth over $1 million, after it washed up on a Florida beach (w/pic of the 76 pounds of cocaine)

I guess Don Jr. got the other 2 pounds?
 
2020-08-31 1:18:55 AM  

The Irresponsible Captain: It's just a distraction from the real contraband.

[Fark user image 425x135]


The mid 1980's were the halcyon years of Bloom County.

/And of gov't issue toot
 
2020-08-31 1:20:17 AM  

wildcardjack: That's just what fell off the raft. They've been floating mats of barely buoyant bricks up the coast using the streams with phones stuck to them. Why risk crew getting arrested and boats nabbed when you can let nature get your packages halfway up the coast.


Newsletter subscription plz
 
2020-08-31 2:31:49 AM  
Is the war over now?
 
2020-08-31 2:31:58 AM  
Every once in a while I wonder what would happen if I had a control board with buttons labeled "Cocaine", "Heroin", "Meth" and so on.

And if I pushed one of the buttons--cocaine in this case--cocaine would not cease to exist. All the cocaine in all the world, including cocaine already harvested/processed/packaged/sold/cut and so on would, from that moment forward, be inert. Chemically it would still be coke; you could test it all day it and the test would confirm it was coke, but when snorted/smoked/injected/whatever, nothing would happen.

Starts like this: I press the button.

Some guy from Colombia or wherever, let's call him Pablo, would load up his $80 skrillion dollars worth of coke on his boat, meets a guy named Crockett offshore just east of Miami; Crockett tests a package or two at random, uses NarcoCheck or whatever to check for coke, and NarcoCheck would say, "Yay! It's pure coke."

Crockett forks over the $80 skrillion, cuts the coke, and sells it to his distributors, and they cut it some more, the greedy bastards, and they send it along to their own minions who cut it even more, divvy it up and/or send it to be cooked up into crack, and finally the $80 skrillion in coke starts to hit the streets.

And then...

...nothing happens. The wealthy folks who think they're buying purse coke snort a few lines and nothing happens. The crack addicts buy some rocks, stick it in their pipe, light it up, and nothing.

Prices skyrocket as the word spreads that the local dealers are selling something that looks like coke, tastes/smells like coke, and tests like coke, but it doesn't do anything.

Turns out the local dealers' 2nd tier dealers' product is equally worthless, and up the ladder it goes; Crockett and his network get nuked from orbit, Pablo discovers that no amount of money, cajoling or torture can make his producers and chemists produce coke. Oh, they can make as much coke as Pablo's heart desires, but none of it does anything.

What happens next?
 
2020-08-31 2:43:44 AM  
"off our streets" and into our noses.
 
2020-08-31 3:37:21 AM  

Sensei Can You See: What happens next?


People move on the next designer drug. Or the chemists change a molecule until cocaine starts working again.

There are over 1400 different classes of amphetamines alone. You gonna have a button for all of them?
 
2020-08-31 3:40:17 AM  
Sensei Can You See:

life... finds a way.
 
2020-08-31 3:41:06 AM  
Now DeSantis is going to have to wait for his fix.  Those guys are so fired.
 
2020-08-31 4:54:30 AM  
Who reports this shiat to authorities? I sure wouldn't
 
2020-08-31 6:09:18 AM  

frankb00th: Who reports this shiat to authorities? I sure wouldn't


You don't hear about the 99 other times where these finds go unreported.
 
2020-08-31 6:11:21 AM  
"Chief Patrol Agent of US Border Patrol Miami Sector John Modlin said the rise in drugs washing ashore indicated the presence of smugglers operating along the Florida coast."

CPA Modlin has a real flair for the obvious.
 
2020-08-31 8:00:15 AM  
now serving number 27, 27 your order is ready. 27, please pick up your order
 
2020-08-31 8:09:16 AM  

Godscrack: Thanks goodness. The end of cocaine forever!


Those despicable cartels that force good, wholesome Americans to snort coke won't recover from this one!
 
2020-08-31 8:26:33 AM  

isamudyson: Cocaine found in Hollywood? I'm shocked, I tell you, shocked!

(Name a place "Hollywood" and the coke is sure to follow.)


Seen here, the coke den of the Republic of Ireland:

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-08-31 8:31:43 AM  
Weird Al wanted for questioning?
 
2020-08-31 10:27:28 AM  
Just the tip of the iceberg kids.
 
2020-08-31 11:05:40 AM  
well I certainly do hope the person who found it buried the rest in a barrel for awhile til the heat is off.....
 
2020-08-31 3:23:41 PM  

Huntceet: Just the tip of the iceberg kids.


Who are the iceberg kids?

Why just the tip?
 
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