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(ABC News)   Russian navy conducts major exercise near Alaska, prompting NORAD to stand by with assistance in case any Russian ship caught fire or started sinking   (abcnews.go.com) divider line
    More: Interesting, Russia, Russian navy, Russian Defense Ministry, Vladimir Putin, Russian military, Russia's navy chief, U.S. military, Russian President Vladimir Putin  
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2005 clicks; posted to Main » and Politics » on 28 Aug 2020 at 4:20 PM (7 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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2020-08-28 1:56:14 PM  
Russian President Vladimir Putin has cited estimates that put the value of Arctic mineral riches at $30 trillion.

"And it's all mine! Bwahahahahahha"
 
2020-08-28 4:06:21 PM  
Subby's not kidding.

"[U.S. Northern Command spokesman] Lewis said the North American Aerospace Defense Command and U.S. Northern Command were closely monitoring the submarine. He added that they haven't received any requests for assistance from the Russian navy but stand ready to assist those in distress."

Perfect response.
 
2020-08-28 4:19:10 PM  
I know its Germans, but can't help but think of this:
German Coastguard Sinking - Learn English Commercial
Youtube gmOTpIVxji8
 
2020-08-28 4:24:02 PM  
Yay! The world's ending!

/For humans.
//I humbly bequeath the world to the new cockroach inheritors.
///Three slashes for, "Yay! The world's ending!"
 
2020-08-28 4:24:28 PM  
Their one barely functional carrier was really great at flinging airplanes into the ocean.

When it wasnt being towed around by a tugboat.

Before it caught on fire.
 
2020-08-28 4:29:43 PM  

dothemath: Their one barely functional carrier was really great at flinging airplanes into the ocean.

When it wasnt being towed around by a tugboat.

Before it caught on fire.


Meh.  Russia has an unsinkable aircraft carrier just a few miles away from Alaska.

It's called "Russia".
 
2020-08-28 4:34:09 PM  
Were they out in international waters (and not at the 12.5 "I'm not touching you" teasing of a younger sibling mark...), then what's the problem? It not like our navy doesn't do the same thing all over the globe.
 
2020-08-28 4:36:02 PM  

dittybopper: Russia has an unsinkable aircraft carrier just a few miles away from Alaska.

It's called "Russia".


Thats sweet, I have a Ferrari in the driveway called a Tacoma.
 
2020-08-28 4:36:24 PM  
Subby, there's nothing in the article indicating they had any trouble. Submarines do, y'know, surface.... And it reads like there's more than enough of them to take care of their own.
 
2020-08-28 4:37:21 PM  
And Farkers wondered my B-52s were in the air over Europe.  Protecting your GODDAMN FREEDOMS, that's why!
 
2020-08-28 4:37:53 PM  

whitroth: Subby, there's nothing in the article indicating they had any trouble. Submarines do, y'know, surface.... And it reads like there's more than enough of them to take care of their own.


Youre a sweet kid.
 
2020-08-28 4:39:20 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-08-28 4:40:23 PM  
Putin on the sinking of the Kursk Submarine
Youtube 2RAzI7UEkhE
 
2020-08-28 4:41:54 PM  

dothemath: Their one barely functional carrier was really great at flinging airplanes into the ocean.

When it wasnt being towed around by a tugboat.

Before it caught on fire.


Didn't they say when it was off Syria that aircraft launched from their 'carrier' had to land at airbases because they couldn't land back on the ship?

Maybe it needs a classification that differentiates it from what we commonly call an aircraft carrier. It does carry aircraft, so, technically...
 
2020-08-28 4:42:41 PM  
The North American Aerospace Defense Command is going to rescue sinking Russian ships?
 
2020-08-28 4:42:50 PM  

tpmchris: And Farkers wondered my B-52s were in the air over Europe.  Protecting your GODDAMN FREEDOMS, that's why!


Not sure if Putin or drink
 
2020-08-28 4:44:51 PM  

I hereby demand that I be given a Fark account: The North American Aerospace Defense Command is going to rescue sinking Russian ships?


With a little help from the friend(s)
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-08-28 4:45:16 PM  
Timed for the day after the Republican convention.

And Trump is reportedly trying to get Putin to come to Washington before the election.

This is Putin's victory dance.
 
2020-08-28 4:45:32 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-08-28 4:47:57 PM  
Shouldn't NORAD be tracking Santa Claus?  He's the real threat.
 
2020-08-28 4:50:15 PM  

CarnySaur: Shouldn't NORAD be tracking Santa Claus?  He's the real threat.


They say hes not coming to your house this year because you broke that lamp.
 
2020-08-28 4:51:32 PM  

Schlubbe: dothemath: Their one barely functional carrier was really great at flinging airplanes into the ocean.

When it wasnt being towed around by a tugboat.

Before it caught on fire.

Didn't they say when it was off Syria that aircraft launched from their 'carrier' had to land at airbases because they couldn't land back on the ship?

Maybe it needs a classification that differentiates it from what we commonly call an aircraft carrier. It does carry aircraft, so, technically...


There is a story about a Russian worker who toiled away in a heavily guarded military factory, each day he and the rest had to submit to being searched on the way out.  One day on his way out he had a wheel barrel full of discarded straw and the guards demands to search it to make sure there wasn't anything buried under neath.  When they were satisfied he wasn't hiding anything in the straw they finally let him pass.

He'd do this every couple days and each time the suspicious guards would dig through the straw but never found anything, they were sure he was up to something though.  Finally one day a guard was there by himself, as he was searching through the straw he mentioned it was his last day at that post and asked the worker to let him in on what he was stealing and how he was hiding it.

"I'm stealing wheel barrels." winked the worker as he continued his walk home.

Maybe the point was to get those planes into the region and have an excuse to keep them there.
 
2020-08-28 4:52:26 PM  

Recoil Therapy: Were they out in international waters (and not at the 12.5 "I'm not touching you" teasing of a younger sibling mark...), then what's the problem? It not like our navy doesn't do the same thing all over the globe.


Literally no one is saying that this exercise was a problem.

Except, frequently, the same crew of Farkers who reliably seem to chime in and rebut the American non-response with "How America complain when it does same thing all over globe?!? lol!"

Always interesting.
 
2020-08-28 4:54:52 PM  
The Russian Pacific Fleet doesn't really have that great a record.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_​o​f_Tsushima

/send in the Japanese
 
2020-08-28 4:55:23 PM  

BumpInTheNight: Schlubbe: dothemath: Their one barely functional carrier was really great at flinging airplanes into the ocean.

When it wasnt being towed around by a tugboat.

Before it caught on fire.

Didn't they say when it was off Syria that aircraft launched from their 'carrier' had to land at airbases because they couldn't land back on the ship?

Maybe it needs a classification that differentiates it from what we commonly call an aircraft carrier. It does carry aircraft, so, technically...

There is a story about a Russian worker who toiled away in a heavily guarded military factory, each day he and the rest had to submit to being searched on the way out.  One day on his way out he had a wheel barrel full of discarded straw and the guards demands to search it to make sure there wasn't anything buried under neath.  When they were satisfied he wasn't hiding anything in the straw they finally let him pass.

He'd do this every couple days and each time the suspicious guards would dig through the straw but never found anything, they were sure he was up to something though.  Finally one day a guard was there by himself, as he was searching through the straw he mentioned it was his last day at that post and asked the worker to let him in on what he was stealing and how he was hiding it.

"I'm stealing wheel barrels." winked the worker as he continued his walk home.

Maybe the point was to get those planes into the region and have an excuse to keep them there.


Every day Svetlana Vladimirovna works a long shift at the machining factory beside the smelter at the edge of her city in central Russia. The factory makes the best beds in the Soviet Union, all of them of exceptionally fine steel. But no one in Svetlana's city, including Svetlana, has a bed. This is an unfortunate but perfectly understandable matter of policy. The comrades who run the factory, and who have designed such magnificent and marvelous beds, better than any beds in America, have decided in the spirit of the revolution and correct socialist principles that they must give beds first to all of the hospitals, and to the army, and to the universities, and to the collective farms, and to many other important institutions necessary for the people and the government in the world's most rapidly and inevitably advancing socialist society. To do this, the factory must work round the clock. Three shifts a day. And only rarely stopping on holidays. It is understood that the workers need beds. But it is not yet the workers' turn. Only recently did the cosmonauts receive beds!
And so everyone who works at the bed factory returns home after each shift and sleeps on the floor.
One summer Svetlana's sister, Natasha, who long ago married a man in Leningrad and moved away, returned for a visit. She was appalled that after ten years Svetlana still had no bed. After all, Svetlana was strong of hand and skilled with tools and one of the best machinists at the bed factory. "My dear sister," Natasha said. "You have not been thinking correctly. It is very easy to have a bed. Each day you must steal one piece of bed from the parts bins at the factory and smuggle it home. And after a week or two you must assemble the parts. Then you will have a bed. And you will never again sleep on the floor."
Svetlana listened closely. "My dear sister," she sighed. "It is you who are not thinking correctly. We have tried this many times. We have stolen the bed parts and carried them home. We have assembled them in the room. And every time, after we finish, we discover that instead of a bed we have an automatic Kalashnikov."
 
2020-08-28 4:55:31 PM  
Remember when they invaded Mendocino?

external-content.duckduckgo.comView Full Size
 
2020-08-28 4:57:24 PM  

dothemath: CarnySaur: Shouldn't NORAD be tracking Santa Claus?  He's the real threat.

They say hes not coming to your house this year because you broke that lamp.


He's not going from what carnysaur did to that Woman's World magazine.
 
2020-08-28 4:57:57 PM  

Schlubbe: Didn't they say when it was off Syria that aircraft launched from their 'carrier' had to land at airbases because they couldn't land back on the ship?

Maybe it needs a classification that differentiates it from what we commonly call an aircraft carrier. It does carry aircraft, so, technically...


Technically it's a "heavy aircraft-carrying cruiser."

It's heavy, cruises, and carries aircraft around. No one said anything about recovering them. Seems fine to me.
 
2020-08-28 5:00:17 PM  

BumpInTheNight: There is a story about a Russian worker who toiled away in a heavily guarded military factory, each day he and the rest had to submit to being searched on the way out. One day on his way out he had a wheel barrel


There seems to have been an issue translating from the original Russian.
 
2020-08-28 5:03:42 PM  
Why were we not warned of this? Didn't Sara Palin see them leave port?
 
2020-08-28 5:06:13 PM  

dothemath: BumpInTheNight: Schlubbe: dothemath: Their one barely functional carrier was really great at flinging airplanes into the ocean.

When it wasnt being towed around by a tugboat.

Before it caught on fire.

Didn't they say when it was off Syria that aircraft launched from their 'carrier' had to land at airbases because they couldn't land back on the ship?

Maybe it needs a classification that differentiates it from what we commonly call an aircraft carrier. It does carry aircraft, so, technically...

There is a story about a Russian worker who toiled away in a heavily guarded military factory, each day he and the rest had to submit to being searched on the way out.  One day on his way out he had a wheel barrel full of discarded straw and the guards demands to search it to make sure there wasn't anything buried under neath.  When they were satisfied he wasn't hiding anything in the straw they finally let him pass.

He'd do this every couple days and each time the suspicious guards would dig through the straw but never found anything, they were sure he was up to something though.  Finally one day a guard was there by himself, as he was searching through the straw he mentioned it was his last day at that post and asked the worker to let him in on what he was stealing and how he was hiding it.

"I'm stealing wheel barrels." winked the worker as he continued his walk home.

Maybe the point was to get those planes into the region and have an excuse to keep them there.

Every day Svetlana Vladimirovna works a long shift at the machining factory beside the smelter at the edge of her city in central Russia. The factory makes the best beds in the Soviet Union, all of them of exceptionally fine steel. But no one in Svetlana's city, including Svetlana, has a bed. This is an unfortunate but perfectly understandable matter of policy. The comrades who run the factory, and who have designed such magnificent and marvelous beds, better than any beds in America, have decided in the spirit of the revolution and correct socialist principles that they must give beds first to all of the hospitals, and to the army, and to the universities, and to the collective farms, and to many other important institutions necessary for the people and the government in the world's most rapidly and inevitably advancing socialist society. To do this, the factory must work round the clock. Three shifts a day. And only rarely stopping on holidays. It is understood that the workers need beds. But it is not yet the workers' turn. Only recently did the cosmonauts receive beds!
And so everyone who works at the bed factory returns home after each shift and sleeps on the floor.
One summer Svetlana's sister, Natasha, who long ago married a man in Leningrad and moved away, returned for a visit. She was appalled that after ten years Svetlana still had no bed. After all, Svetlana was strong of hand and skilled with tools and one of the best machinists at the bed factory. "My dear sister," Natasha said. "You have not been thinking correctly. It is very easy to have a bed. Each day you must steal one piece of bed from the parts bins at the factory and smuggle it home. And after a week or two you must assemble the parts. Then you will have a bed. And you will never again sleep on the floor."
Svetlana listened closely. "My dear sister," she sighed. "It is you who are not thinking correctly. We have tried this many times. We have stolen the bed parts and carried them home. We have assembled them in the room. And every time, after we finish, we discover that instead of a bed we have an automatic Kalashnikov."


Beautiful story sir.
 
2020-08-28 5:06:14 PM  
pbs.twimg.comView Full Size


Obligatory.
 
2020-08-28 5:09:31 PM  

tpmchris: dothemath: CarnySaur: Shouldn't NORAD be tracking Santa Claus?  He's the real threat.

They say hes not coming to your house this year because you broke that lamp.

He's not going from what carnysaur did to that Woman's World magazine.


Fark user imageView Full Size

Guilty.  Paula Deen's casual racism and copious use of butter equals dead kittens.
 
2020-08-28 5:13:57 PM  

Recoil Therapy: Were they out in international waters (and not at the 12.5 "I'm not touching you" teasing of a younger sibling mark...), then what's the problem? It not like our navy doesn't do the same thing all over the globe.


Even at 12.5, the waters are just as international as at 1,000.

/certain exceptions and limitations apply
//USA claims 200 NM Exclusive Economic Zone
///so no fishing.
 
2020-08-28 5:13:58 PM  

whitroth: Subby, there's nothing in the article indicating they had any trouble. Submarines do, y'know, surface.... And it reads like there's more than enough of them to take care of their own.


You should address that to Bill Lewis, spokesman for the U.S. Northern Command.
 
2020-08-28 5:17:32 PM  

whitroth: Subby, there's nothing in the article indicating they had any trouble. Submarines do, y'know, surface.... And it reads like there's more than enough of them to take care of their own.


With Russian subs, that's not guaranteed.
 
2020-08-28 5:26:35 PM  

BigNumber12: BumpInTheNight: There is a story about a Russian worker who toiled away in a heavily guarded military factory, each day he and the rest had to submit to being searched on the way out. One day on his way out he had a wheel barrel

There seems to have been an issue translating from the original Russian.


Yah no kidding, today I learned something, english is a silly language and they don't pay me enough to learn its finer points before posting insightful folklore from the homeland here on fark.com

/I honestly had no idea that's how it was spelled
//I mean how tf do you attach 'barrow' and change its term from big earthy mound to that
///the wikipedia's explanation is pretty crappy but this is english coined by english so I'll accept it
 
2020-08-28 5:30:56 PM  

BumpInTheNight: BigNumber12: BumpInTheNight: There is a story about a Russian worker who toiled away in a heavily guarded military factory, each day he and the rest had to submit to being searched on the way out. One day on his way out he had a wheel barrel

There seems to have been an issue translating from the original Russian.

Yah no kidding, today I learned something, english is a silly language and they don't pay me enough to learn its finer points before posting insightful folklore from the homeland here on fark.com

/I honestly had no idea that's how it was spelled
//I mean how tf do you attach 'barrow' and change its term from big earthy mound to that
///the wikipedia's explanation is pretty crappy but this is english coined by english so I'll accept it


I believe it's borrowed from the Old English term for a castrated male hog. "Time to wheel this barrow back to the pen now that he's cut, poor bastard."
 
2020-08-28 5:32:32 PM  

BumpInTheNight: BigNumber12: BumpInTheNight: There is a story about a Russian worker who toiled away in a heavily guarded military factory, each day he and the rest had to submit to being searched on the way out. One day on his way out he had a wheel barrel

There seems to have been an issue translating from the original Russian.

Yah no kidding, today I learned something, english is a silly language and they don't pay me enough to learn its finer points before posting insightful folklore from the homeland here on fark.com

/I honestly had no idea that's how it was spelled
//I mean how tf do you attach 'barrow' and change its term from big earthy mound to that
///the wikipedia's explanation is pretty crappy but this is english coined by english so I'll accept it


From Professor Paul Brians' "Common Errors in English Usage":

https://brians.wsu.edu/2016/05/19/whe​e​lbarrel/

/said "wheel barrel" until my mid 20s
 
2020-08-28 5:33:08 PM  
Listening to our rock and roll and having mishill driilsh....
 
2020-08-28 5:36:03 PM  
I heard they were secretly dropping off the teams of secret police ordered by Trump to make us all vote for him like they did in 2016. I really don't remember election night, but Svetlana was very sensual and totally took my mind off Hillary winning.
 
2020-08-28 5:37:15 PM  

dothemath: dittybopper: Russia has an unsinkable aircraft carrier just a few miles away from Alaska.

It's called "Russia".

Thats sweet, I have a Ferrari in the driveway called a Tacoma.


Did it come from Phoenix, Arizona?  Are you going to drive it to Philadelphia, Atlanta, LA?
 
2020-08-28 5:39:04 PM  

LewDux: I hereby demand that I be given a Fark account: The North American Aerospace Defense Command is going to rescue sinking Russian ships?

With a little help from the friend(s)
[Fark user image 681x476]


That film always gets me when this happens:

thumbs.gfycat.comView Full Size
 
2020-08-28 5:46:32 PM  
BumpInTheNight

I mean how tf do you attach 'barrow' and change its term from big earthy mound to that

ORIGIN Old English bearwe 'stretcher, bier,' of Germanic origin; related to bear

Funny things, dictionaries. Also, splitting compound words into their components may lead you astray.
 
2020-08-28 5:46:54 PM  
How can you tell a naval fleet is Russian? The coal barges.
 
2020-08-28 5:51:04 PM  

Mr. Shabooboo: Listening to our rock and roll and having mishill driilsh....


I always liked the idea that the reason a Soviet sub skipper had a Scottish accent is because Ramius was Lithuanian, and so had an accent compared to the Russian officers. Of course I have no idea what a Lithuanian accent sounds like, or if they even have one in Russian.
 
2020-08-28 5:58:21 PM  

dryknife: Remember when they invaded Mendocino?

[external-content.duckduckgo.com image 600x254]


And Sweden too

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Soviet_​s​ubmarine_S-363
 
2020-08-28 6:04:37 PM  

bughunter: The Russian Pacific Fleet doesn't really have that great a record.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_o​f_Tsushima

/send in the Japanese


Funny coincidence that. I had a conversation recently where the battle came up in discussion. The whole thing was doomed from the start, inept officers, poorly maintained ships, untrained crews subjected to arbitrary and excessive discipline. The leader of the expedition was competent but prone to temper, it's a microcosm of what not to do as a navy.
 
2020-08-28 6:20:01 PM  

Gooch: BumpInTheNight: BigNumber12: BumpInTheNight: There is a story about a Russian worker who toiled away in a heavily guarded military factory, each day he and the rest had to submit to being searched on the way out. One day on his way out he had a wheel barrel

There seems to have been an issue translating from the original Russian.

Yah no kidding, today I learned something, english is a silly language and they don't pay me enough to learn its finer points before posting insightful folklore from the homeland here on fark.com

/I honestly had no idea that's how it was spelled
//I mean how tf do you attach 'barrow' and change its term from big earthy mound to that
///the wikipedia's explanation is pretty crappy but this is english coined by english so I'll accept it

From Professor Paul Brians' "Common Errors in English Usage":

https://brians.wsu.edu/2016/05/19/whee​lbarrel/

/said "wheel barrel" until my mid 20s


So your saying he could of avoided that mistake?
 
2020-08-28 6:20:03 PM  

BumpInTheNight: BigNumber12: BumpInTheNight: There is a story about a Russian worker who toiled away in a heavily guarded military factory, each day he and the rest had to submit to being searched on the way out. One day on his way out he had a wheel barrel

There seems to have been an issue translating from the original Russian.

Yah no kidding, today I learned something, english is a silly language and they don't pay me enough to learn its finer points before posting insightful folklore from the homeland here on fark.com

/I honestly had no idea that's how it was spelled
//I mean how tf do you attach 'barrow' and change its term from big earthy mound to that
///the wikipedia's explanation is pretty crappy but this is english coined by english so I'll accept it


You think that big earthy mound got there on its own?
Wheels, my man.
Many wheelbarrows full of earth.
That's the connection.
 
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