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(Slate)   Can I dump old friends because they've gone full Republican? Sure, to make it even easier: think of it like a work-at-will state   (slate.com) divider line
    More: Obvious, Interpersonal relationship, Friendship, Family, Want, Anxiety, new kids, old daughter, much experience  
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2311 clicks; posted to Politics » on 25 Aug 2020 at 4:26 PM (8 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



335 Comments     (+0 »)
 
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2020-08-25 3:06:21 PM  
It is your obligation to do so.
 
2020-08-25 3:12:43 PM  
I have no idea what my friend's politics are. It's just not a subject I ever discuss, because I have zero interest. People can believe whatever stupid shiat they want, I'm not an educator.
 
2020-08-25 3:15:49 PM  
 Not all conservatives are jerks. My ex GF (more like a common law wife) is a Republican and she DESPISES Trump. And not in the Susan Collins way. Despite me being a political junkie we didn't argue about politics much. It was understood that I was a raging liberal and that she voted for George W Bush.

We are very close friends to this day. She even flies up here at least once a year and we have a blast. But here's the thing: she isn't racist, a corona hoaxer, a maskless "mah rights!" or any of that trash that seems amplified these days. She's a wonderful girl, is all. Just happens to be a Republican. I think she's deluding herself but it's really none of my business unless she brings it up.

BUT: If your so-called friends are talking Trump-style crap, then yes, ditch them. It's a poison I'll have no part of. I can't be around it even online, much less in person.
 
2020-08-25 3:46:26 PM  
Yep. I dumped an entire family. Feels great, actually.
 
2020-08-25 4:11:19 PM  
My good friends' politics are pretty close to mine. My casual friends, theirs are all over the map. The saddest part of the Trump era has been finding out just how racist some of them are. It never came out before.
 
2020-08-25 4:27:20 PM  
Conservative?  No.

Trumpers?  Hell, yes.

There's nothing conservative about Trumpism.
 
2020-08-25 4:27:54 PM  
Yes, how have you not done so already?
 
2020-08-25 4:27:55 PM  
Difficulty:  Parents are Trumpists
 
2020-08-25 4:27:56 PM  
Yeah you can.

At this point anyone still in favor of Trump is not worth a second of my spare time.
 
2020-08-25 4:28:21 PM  

PunGent: Conservative?  No.

Trumpers?  Hell, yes.

There's nothing conservative about Trumpism.


They're completely the same.
 
2020-08-25 4:30:09 PM  
Whaddaya mean, "can you"? You haven't yet?

When people demonstrate that they're garbage, it shouldn't be a question. DTMFA
 
2020-08-25 4:30:30 PM  
Four years late to the party?

Well, better late than never.

Unless you try to tell us this crap AFTER you vote for the man twice, in which case, zero sympathy and zero late apologies accepted.
 
2020-08-25 4:30:42 PM  
Better question.  Are they really friends it they're Trumpers?
 
2020-08-25 4:31:18 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size



Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-08-25 4:31:35 PM  

Scorpitron is reduced to a thin red paste: PunGent: Conservative?  No.

Trumpers?  Hell, yes.

There's nothing conservative about Trumpism.

They're completely the same.


Conservatives and Trumpers are the same thing. Trumpism is the logical and expected extension of modern-day conservatism.

If a conservative doesn't support Trump, then he is a right-leaning independent.
 
2020-08-25 4:31:39 PM  
Worked for me. An old girlfriend/friend went nutzoid. Voted for the dickweed because she believes that Soros is an actual Nazi who would've had Hillary start concentration camps. She didn't listen to me, an actual Jew, who knows better than her about such things.
Haven't spoken to her in almost 4 years. A little curious if she's learned anything since then. But I certainly don't lose any sleep over it.
 
2020-08-25 4:32:02 PM  

Visual Howlaround Title Sequence: It is your obligation to do so.


Done in one.

If you don't dump them, then you reinforce to their empathy-devoid, toddler-level brains that their behavior is a good thing.
 
2020-08-25 4:33:12 PM  
I dumped them all.

All that's left is my mother and my brother. I can't dump them.

Fortunately, they know not to bring up Trump while I am around.
 
2020-08-25 4:33:15 PM  
Conservatism died when Eisenhower left the White House.
 
2020-08-25 4:33:21 PM  
We practice 'no politics, no religion' at our local hang out, so it's been great.

However, lately i've been trying to align my opportunities with more liberal people. I mean, why the hell should this jerk gain any social/financial ground when he's actively voting in a way that punishes people? Fark them.

Doesn't always work though. Sometimes ya just gotta work with 'em.
 
2020-08-25 4:33:47 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-08-25 4:34:36 PM  
As someone who significantly distanced himself from his entire family after they went deep into Tea Party territory over a decade ago (I still keep in touch because they're my family, but way, way less often), yeah. Friends come and go all the time for simpler reasons than that.

That's the thing about friendship, you have to enjoy being around each other, or you're just uncomfortable acquaintances. It's hard for a lot of us to meet new people, and I get that, but sometimes you have to just decide to get to know new folks and allow yourself to drift away from those who've stopped being enjoyable to be around. That doesn't necessarily mean you have to completely disown them, there's plenty of people I still enjoy the company of, even if we disagree from time to time, but I refuse to devote time to someone who's become completely antithetical to my values.
 
2020-08-25 4:34:47 PM  
Yes, unless your friend is Becki Falwell. Then you would be safer to check all corners of your house, just to make sure Jerry Fallwell Jr isn't jacking off in the corner like a horny Blair Witch victim.
 
2020-08-25 4:35:41 PM  
Republicans are Nazis. I wouldn't want to be associated with either of them, and the sooner they disavow that shiat, the better.
 
2020-08-25 4:35:55 PM  
Do whatever you want but it is a bit weak that you cannot stand to have your ideology questioned by others.  About the only thing that I will cut off friends are drugs.  I dont mind if you do them but if you start in a full on addiction spiral and you do not listen to everyone trying to help you... well you are not bringing me down with you.  Have only done that twice.  They finally bounced from bottom and we talk years later.
 
2020-08-25 4:36:40 PM  

Combustion: Yep. I dumped an entire family. Feels great, actually.


CSB

A couple years ago went to a fiend's wedding.  Another friend and his wife were invited too because, we were all friends at one point and the newlyweds bought a house a few blocks away from them. The 'what was at one time 2 people in our friends circle that we knew were very republican leaning' slid way way down into Trumperville. No one sat by them. No one really talked to them besides a 'hi'. Just shunned from most of us.

The Trumper couple left not long after dinner. The rest of us had a fun night of drinkin' and dancing celebrating the newlyweds.

I haven't been in contact with the ex-friends since. Very freeing. I don't think anyone else does anymore.

/CSB
 
2020-08-25 4:36:44 PM  

edmo: My good friends' politics are pretty close to mine. My casual friends, theirs are all over the map. The saddest part of the Trump era has been finding out just how racist some of them are. It never came out before.


The one good thing about the rise of Trump has been the unmasking.
 
2020-08-25 4:38:17 PM  
My husband, our 10-year old daughter, and I are all progressive liberals.

Oh fark off.
 
2020-08-25 4:38:21 PM  

Saiga410: it is a bit weak that you cannot stand to have your ideology questioned by others.


What about your personhood? Is it weak to not allow your personhood questioned by others?
What about the lives of countless latinx people?
What about the fact that over 175 thousand people is a bad thing?
What about the fact that science is real?

How much should people tolerate of bigots before a threshold at which it is okay to not keep them around as friends is reached?
 
2020-08-25 4:38:29 PM  

gunga galunga: I dumped them all.

All that's left is my mother and my brother. I can't dump them.

Fortunately, they know not to bring up Trump while I am around.


Brothers you can.  I've had to (2 in my case; they've gone full banjo).  Mothers may be harder to dump.
 
2020-08-25 4:38:36 PM  

dickfreckle: is a Republican and she DESPISES Trump



Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-08-25 4:38:47 PM  

Saiga410: Do whatever you want but it is a bit weak that you cannot stand to have your ideology questioned by others.  About the only thing that I will cut off friends are drugs.  I dont mind if you do them but if you start in a full on addiction spiral and you do not listen to everyone trying to help you... well you are not bringing me down with you.  Have only done that twice.  They finally bounced from bottom and we talk years later.


Democrat: I'm a minority.
Republican: You belong in a cage.
Independent: Silly libs should really take a chance to have their ideology questioned.
 
2020-08-25 4:38:48 PM  
Trump up one side and down the other - I frown.

You start dropping QAnon, IIIer, flat-earth, or SovCit-adjacent ideas - you're gone.

Unfortunately, nearly all of category 1 people I've known have ended up as either a "okay, fine, never Trump" conservative, or part of category 2.  And a lot more of the latter than the former.
 
2020-08-25 4:39:00 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size

Some problems wrecktify themselves.
 
2020-08-25 4:39:07 PM  
Over 175 thousand people dead, that is. Bah.
 
2020-08-25 4:39:08 PM  
When people dismiss the pain , danger, and deaths of others and are science denying dangers...I dropped them like a lump of lava.
 
2020-08-25 4:39:20 PM  
True story:

I'm thinking of having an addition put on my garage to build a workshop. Someone down the road is having the exact same thing done right now. I don't know them, but was going to stop and say "hey, who are you using, what restrictions are there, etc." Driving by one day I saw a Trump 2020 sign in their yard and thought "nah, I'll just call around to contractors". I hate that I made that decision based on that. But this is so far beyond just "party politics" at this point. If it was ONLY "politics", it'd be fine. We can disagree all day. But the conspiracies and threats and lies and stoking the flames of fear... it's all just too much. I don't want anything to do with someone who supports that. Which, now that I think about it, will make it hard to find a contractor.
 
2020-08-25 4:39:29 PM  
You should repay the money you owe them first, they'll probably even forgive some to be rid of you.
 
2020-08-25 4:40:27 PM  

Leishu: Saiga410: it is a bit weak that you cannot stand to have your ideology questioned by others.

What about your personhood? Is it weak to not allow your personhood questioned by others?
What about the lives of countless latinx people?
What about the fact that over 175 thousand people is a bad thing?
What about the fact that science is real?

How much should people tolerate of bigots before a threshold at which it is okay to not keep them around as friends is reached?


Just FYI:  "latinx" is not a word in any language.
 
2020-08-25 4:40:32 PM  
I did. I see this as a requirement now.

One was a FB friend. I deleted him and told him why. He was not happy when I told him I didn't want my name associated with him in his friends group. He got really really upset when I called him a snowflake. That appears to be a major trigger with them.

Sucks to be him. I never looked back.
 
2020-08-25 4:40:45 PM  

Zeb Hesselgresser: You should repay the money you owe them first, they'll probably even forgive some to be rid of you.


It's cute when Republicans believe they're temporarily embarrassed millionaires.
 
2020-08-25 4:41:10 PM  

g.fro: Leishu: Saiga410: it is a bit weak that you cannot stand to have your ideology questioned by others.

What about your personhood? Is it weak to not allow your personhood questioned by others?
What about the lives of countless latinx people?
What about the fact that over 175 thousand people is a bad thing?
What about the fact that science is real?

How much should people tolerate of bigots before a threshold at which it is okay to not keep them around as friends is reached?

Just FYI:  "latinx" is not a word in any language.


Prescriptivists are funny, and stupid.
 
2020-08-25 4:41:25 PM  
I have one friend who's an oddball conservative (he liked and wanted Ted Cruz to win 2016).  He doesn't bring up politics normally and is very pro-masking and social distancing.

I had another who was a mild libertarian that went off the slippery slope after Trump won and started regurgitating Breitbart, Fox, you name it.  He unfriended me on Facebook after I called him out on his bullshiat.

/he tried sending a friend request a year later, I happily deleted it.
//I never friended my aunts as they're all evangelical whack jobs.  Other half did though so they can see pictures/updates on our little one
///I've told her to go ahead and block them but she doesn't want to cut my family out entirely
 
2020-08-25 4:42:06 PM  
Maybe you'll get lucky and won't have to dump them at all: One of the Trumpers in my parents' friend circle (who I grew up fearing and hating) dropped dead of Covid. It felt wonderful.
 
2020-08-25 4:43:19 PM  
People trying to normalize the deaths of thousands of Americans aren't your friends, dear.
 
2020-08-25 4:43:25 PM  
Difficulty: not friends - they're generally more left-leaning even than myself - but family :(

/ Father is a long-time "Democrats are the real racists" Republican
// Mother was saner, but a year or so ago began to voice her agreement with Nigel Farrage, and a week or so ago opined that New York needed a strong mayor again, "like Rudy Giuliani"
 
2020-08-25 4:43:39 PM  

RobotSpider: True story:

I'm thinking of having an addition put on my garage to build a workshop. Someone down the road is having the exact same thing done right now. I don't know them, but was going to stop and say "hey, who are you using, what restrictions are there, etc." Driving by one day I saw a Trump 2020 sign in their yard and thought "nah, I'll just call around to contractors". I hate that I made that decision based on that. But this is so far beyond just "party politics" at this point. If it was ONLY "politics", it'd be fine. We can disagree all day. But the conspiracies and threats and lies and stoking the flames of fear... it's all just too much. I don't want anything to do with someone who supports that. Which, now that I think about it, will make it hard to find a contractor.


To me, this means "this person falls for stupid transparent scams and is emotionally driven" so I'm not going to let them help me select a contractor. Smart, IMO
 
2020-08-25 4:43:46 PM  
I cant take people seriously when they say we need to reach out Republicans. Their brains are gone. You'd have better luck deprogramming North Koreans.

There's a line when political opinions become unacceptable. Many people now hold the opinion that Trump and the Republican party left that line so far in the rearview that they can't even see it now. What do you do at that point? You can't negotiate with people like that. You can't engage in civil discourse with people that hold "deplorable" and disgusting views that most of the time ignore reality.  

Supporters of trump are terrified of losing their advantaged place in the world so they support policy that victimizes others. They find comfort thinking somebody else is getting farked worse.

It's on them to bring something else to the table. Something better. Until that day they are dead to me.
 
2020-08-25 4:44:23 PM  

Leishu: g.fro: Leishu: Saiga410: it is a bit weak that you cannot stand to have your ideology questioned by others.

What about your personhood? Is it weak to not allow your personhood questioned by others?
What about the lives of countless latinx people?
What about the fact that over 175 thousand people is a bad thing?
What about the fact that science is real?

How much should people tolerate of bigots before a threshold at which it is okay to not keep them around as friends is reached?

Just FYI:  "latinx" is not a word in any language.

Prescriptivists are funny, and stupid.


So are people who make up words.

Try to be better than them.
 
2020-08-25 4:44:44 PM  

g.fro: Leishu: g.fro: Leishu: Saiga410: it is a bit weak that you cannot stand to have your ideology questioned by others.

What about your personhood? Is it weak to not allow your personhood questioned by others?
What about the lives of countless latinx people?
What about the fact that over 175 thousand people is a bad thing?
What about the fact that science is real?

How much should people tolerate of bigots before a threshold at which it is okay to not keep them around as friends is reached?

Just FYI:  "latinx" is not a word in any language.

Prescriptivists are funny, and stupid.

So are people who make up words.

Try to be better than them.


All words are made up.
 
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