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(Fark)   Subby has seen a lot of advice column links in the Discussion tab for quite some time now. It seems Farkers are getting good at giving advice. What's the best advice you've ever given someone? What's the worst? Be as detailed as possible   (fark.com) divider line
    More: Survey, Haunted house, Cascading Style Sheets, Advice column, Trump campaign, Haunted houses, Pseudoscience, scattered survivors, Newspaper  
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82 clicks; posted to Discussion » on 24 Aug 2020 at 5:50 PM (20 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



30 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2020-08-24 4:12:47 PM  
I don't stick around to see the results.
 
2020-08-24 4:12:52 PM  
"If you love her, you should marry her."
 
2020-08-24 4:12:52 PM  
Best: Use you inheritance to buy a business/going concern you can understand and run.   Outcome: blew over a million on hookers and blow. Win win.
Worst: bro, don't care that she's pregnant, she's totally sleeping around on you.  Outcome: punched me in the face, paid child support to age of majority, no custody, until the kid got 23and me to find his real dad.
 
2020-08-24 4:24:12 PM  
If you have to poo in the woods, instead of digging a hole, just roll an appropriated sized rock, smooth if possible, out of the ground.  When you're done, just roll it back in on top of the new contents - no digging!

That led to an argument with a shiat-covered hiker.
 
2020-08-24 4:26:02 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-08-24 4:26:52 PM  
.
 
2020-08-24 4:32:58 PM  
Lord loves a working man
Don't trust whitey
See a doctor and get rid of it
 
2020-08-24 4:40:02 PM  
Trust no one.
 
2020-08-24 4:40:20 PM  
My mum's sister had cancer, severe cancer. My mum told me that her sister isn't answering her calls and she feels that her sister doesn't want her around anymore. I told her that sometimes when people get cancer they feel worthless and think that other people feel that way about them. Told her that she should just go over and visit without an invite and see how it goes.
Mum saw her sister many times in that last month.
I count that as one of the best things I ever did in my life.
 
2020-08-24 5:24:15 PM  
Someone posted their cancer diagnosis on fark and there was a lot of encouragement and "you can beat it" advice. My advice was more along the lines of "live life until you can't anymore. Don't stop living, Run that farker into the ground."

I forget who it was (I am horrible with names). I wonder how they're doing.
 
2020-08-24 5:53:43 PM  
Don't buy the cow when you can get the milk for free.

Boats are really great if your friends own them.
 
2020-08-24 5:54:49 PM  
If you shake it more than twice, you're playing with it.
 
2020-08-24 5:58:27 PM  
Keep your junk off of the internets
 
2020-08-24 6:07:35 PM  
"Son," I said, "You're gonna drive me to drinkin', if you don't stop drivin' that hot rod Lincoln."
 
2020-08-24 6:18:46 PM  
I have had a lot of ups and downs in my life.  I've hit a lot of road rash and been in some weird situations and bad messes.

The best advice I can give:

Treat other people the way you want to be treated.
Dress for the job you want.
Experience is the best teacher, so talk to the old people, listen and learn from their stories (try to look at it from both sides).
Actions speak louder than words.
Everything in moderation.
Plan ahead.
If you say you're going to do it, do it or say you're calling it off.
Have a thick skin and a rubber ass.
Never stop reading.

The worst advice was when I didn't speak my mind watching someone make a bad decision because I didn't want to hurt their feelings.  Friends don't mind hurting their friends feelings to keep them from making bad mistakes.  Always tell your friends what you really think, even if that shiat hurts.
 
2020-08-24 6:23:52 PM  
Don't stick your dick in crazy
 
2020-08-24 6:57:53 PM  
I did a presentation for my Sunday church fellowship class on the experience I went through with my mother's end of life care and death. One thing I said has resonated with a lot of people: As you go through the list of companies and organizations to notify of the death, you'll feel like a combination of Chevy Chase ("as with Generalissimo Francisco Franco, my mother is still dead"); "Bones" McCoy ("she's dead, Jim" ad infinitum), and John Cleese in the Parrot Shop sketch.
 
2020-08-24 7:04:56 PM  
Probably this, which was imparted to my by a friend about five years older and who had begun the journey of being a parent ahead of me, in regard to dealing with the aforementioned journey of being a parent: Never ever ever ever ever make a threat you're not fully prepared to follow through on.

It applies to more than kid wrangling, but that's the context in which it was passed on to me, and that's where I've found it most useful.
 
2020-08-24 7:07:19 PM  
"Sell Apple at 28."

/In my defense, I am a programmer.
 
2020-08-24 7:13:50 PM  
1.  "Plastics."
2.  "Plastics."
 
2020-08-24 7:17:38 PM  
Less is more.
 
2020-08-24 7:45:31 PM  

Hubris Boy: "If you love her, you should marry her."


You didn't say if that was good or bad advice.
 
2020-08-24 9:21:43 PM  
I thought being the supportive boyfriend was the move.

"Go ahead and take that job that's two hours away, darling," I said. "I'll find a job near you and we'll make it work."

(Narrator: He could not find a job near her, and they could not make it work.)
 
2020-08-24 9:48:47 PM  
Best advice given that was not taken, to one of my best friends: "No, do not under any circumstances propose to her. You know damn well that is a terrible idea." He did anyway. Result: the were separated just six months after the wedding, and divorced shortly after their first anniversary.
 
2020-08-24 10:17:21 PM  
"Hey, you should get that strange looking mole checked out" (it was melanoma, taken care of in time. I'm a hero!)

"Don't buy a pinball machine, get a personal computer instead".

"Forget applying for that stupid job at the embassy, what you should really do is be a blackjack dealer or get into being an "Internet TV" salesman". He really did mean well. I didn't take this advice. This was same person who helped direct my life in a very good way with the personal computer advice.

.
 
2020-08-25 1:04:07 AM  

GreatGlavinsGhost: Hubris Boy: "If you love her, you should marry her."

You didn't say if that was good or bad advice.


Well, it turned out to be great advice... the second time. I just took his advice too soon. That's okay. I ended up where I needed to be eventually. :-D
 
2020-08-25 3:39:35 AM  
When going through difficult times, think back to last year. What was your biggest problem and how did it work out. You'll make it through this year too.
 
2020-08-25 3:44:35 AM  
1. For debugging: When logic fails, try illogic.

2. Right out of college a high school friend got a good job, and got his own place -- a one-bedroom apartment. He furnished it very nicely, except for one thing. He put his old twin bed in the bedroom. I told him, "you've got a real place, get a real bed." Six months later he commented that it was fantastic advice.
 
2020-08-25 7:56:51 AM  
The best advice I ever got was "people might like you more if you stopped being such a know it all."  I helped my childhood friend's dad to replace the impeller in his house water pump, Eleven year old me may have chortled at him for not knowing he had to prime the pump to restart it.  It was actually a fairly good life lesson for me at that age.

I don't give advice anymore, at least not in person, because people rarely ask for advice.  Still, I love the idea of sharing my knowledge, so I weasel around this restriction.  At a family gathering, there was a chubby woman expounding upon how fat people are fat because they lack the willpower to put down the fork, she was giving slightly more chubby women specific dieting and life advice (which was obviously upsetting them), then she went on to complain about how she hates it when she gives advice and people don't listen to her...  At his point I interjected "Yeah, that used to frustrate me as well, until I stopped giving opinionated advice to people who never asked for my advice to begin with."

/As the kids say, it was a mic drop moment.
//Yeah, the kids are probably doing something different than that these days.
 
2020-08-25 10:48:20 AM  

baka-san: Don't stick your dick in crazy


this
 
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