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(Yahoo)   Click to the left for the dumbest thing you'll read all day   (yahoo.com) divider line
    More: Facepalm, Nutrition, Digestion, Brassica oleracea, Xylitol, Sugar, Sorbitol, Carbon dioxide, Cruciferous vegetables  
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1495 clicks; posted to Food » on 15 Aug 2020 at 9:20 AM (10 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



32 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2020-08-15 7:30:38 AM  
Can cause gas and bloating... can cause gas and bloating... can cause gas and bloating...

So, in summary: "Avoid these foods, because they make you fart, which is literally the worst thing ever." Got it.
 
2020-08-15 7:44:29 AM  

I Ate Shergar: Can cause gas and bloating... can cause gas and bloating... can cause gas and bloating...

So, in summary: "Avoid these foods, because they make you fart, which is literally the worst thing ever." Got it.


And they aren't going to cause the dreaded "gas and bloating" in everyone. So even if we accept the "farting is horrible and you should never do it" premise, it's more like the gluten thing. Does it cause you a physical issue? Then avoid it. But it's perfectly fine for everyone else.
 
2020-08-15 7:50:34 AM  

I Ate Shergar: Can cause gas and bloating... can cause gas and bloating... can cause gas and bloating...

So, in summary: "Avoid these foods, because they make you fart, which is literally the worst thing ever." Got it.


Oh no, I'm digesting my food!  Please make it stop.

I guess the alternative is to eat healthy food, and then go for a walk, or exercise a bit to let the farts escape.  That's one crazy way to prevent bloating.

I suspect that some people self diagnose with gluten intolerance/lactose intolerance because the head to the sofa for a nap after meals and get bloated.
 
2020-08-15 8:10:04 AM  
"Don't consume any food or drink ever because you might fart"

Oh noe, not the farts.
 
2020-08-15 8:10:32 AM  
Click to the left for the dumbest thing you'll read all day

False. I have already read three Trump tweets this morning.
 
2020-08-15 8:17:35 AM  
People are avoiding black beans but it has nothing to do with bloating. Amirite, Ivanka?
 
2020-08-15 8:18:45 AM  
As someone who is farting right now, I'm really getting blowback from some of these replies.
 
2020-08-15 8:32:00 AM  
Someone got a PhD in bloating.
 
2020-08-15 8:58:15 AM  
It's only 7:58 CDT, subs.
 
2020-08-15 9:00:21 AM  
What's the big deal about a few farts?
You know why kids giggle when they hear a fart?
Because farts are funny.

/Farts.
 
2020-08-15 9:15:34 AM  
I've been awake two hours so that's probably in the top 10% smartest things of the day so far
 
2020-08-15 9:35:32 AM  
Thanks for writing an article about what's on the other end of all of those DOCTORS BEG YOU NOT TO EAT THESE FOODS FOR YOUR GUT HEALTH ads, i guess?
 
2020-08-15 9:38:00 AM  
Eddie Murphy's Delirious Part 8 - Fart Game
Youtube ffQ6r8shkAs
 
2020-08-15 9:40:37 AM  
Hang on, what's that last one?  I need to add it to my grocery list.

/Frp
 
2020-08-15 9:40:41 AM  
And there is an ad and a link to buy each thing you shouldn't eat.
 
2020-08-15 9:42:43 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-08-15 9:50:30 AM  

NeedlesslyCanadian: Click to the left for the dumbest thing you'll read all day

False. I have already read three Trump tweets this morning.


I was gonna say - we've been over this. So long as Trump has access to Twitter, it's inappropriate to declare something the dumbest thing you'll read all day when there's more than a few minutes left in the day, not to mention 16 hours.
 
2020-08-15 9:51:02 AM  
Gee, salty foods make you retain water. Who dah thunk it?

The only thing on that list I avoid are the sugar free candies. Like the infamous gummy bears, the gastric effects are potentially more than just farts so best to stay away.
 
2020-08-15 10:03:24 AM  

I Ate Shergar: Can cause gas and bloating... can cause gas and bloating... can cause gas and bloating...

So, in summary: "Avoid these foods, because they make you fart, which is literally the worst thing ever." Got it.


Mixed with in healthy foods...
 
2020-08-15 10:12:28 AM  
"...celebrity nutritionist Karin Adoni Ben-David,"

Oh boy! I better read this right away. It might change my whole life. Thanks, fark.
 
2020-08-15 11:06:31 AM  
Apples?  Like, one of the fundamental foods of human civilization?  F you.

i.imgur.comView Full Size
 
2020-08-15 11:41:57 AM  
All I can think of is that kid on South Park saying "I can't eat ____ because it gives me gas."
 
2020-08-15 12:47:26 PM  
We talked to Daily Harvest's nutritionist, Amy Shapiro MS, RD, CDN, as well as celebrity nutritionist Karin Adoni Ben-David, to see what they had to say about the foods you should say no to if you're trying to avoid the puff.

Yeah, the word for people who have got an education on diet from accredited institutions is dietitian. Anyone can call themselves a nutritionist, so their opinions ain't worth shiat.
 
2020-08-15 1:26:31 PM  
I see that the bloated fat farting farkers are here
 
2020-08-15 2:06:00 PM  

iron de havilland: We talked to Daily Harvest's nutritionist, Amy Shapiro MS, RD, CDN, as well as celebrity nutritionist Karin Adoni Ben-David, to see what they had to say about the foods you should say no to if you're trying to avoid the puff.

Yeah, the word for people who have got an education on diet from accredited institutions is dietitian. Anyone can call themselves a nutritionist, so their opinions ain't worth shiat.


To make it confusing, there is an optional designation for an RD called a Registered Dietician Nutritionist (RDN). In conversation, many call themselves nutritionists. More than ever, it pays to ask about the credentials.
 
2020-08-15 2:12:05 PM  
Nice try advertising stevia.
 
2020-08-15 3:28:37 PM  

drjekel_mrhyde: I see that the bloated fat farting farkers are here


Welcome to FARK FART!
 
2020-08-15 3:59:09 PM  
"If you have a sensitive GI tract, avoid these foods. If you're sensitive to salt, avoid these foods."

2-3% of the population has celiac disease. Less than 1% of the population is salt-sensitive. Almost nobody is medically affected by the advice espoused in this article. This isn't merely the dumbest thing I'll read today - it's dangerous. It's fully of "could cause" and "if you're on the sensitive side" and "can get", because this is the kind of article those who want to

The thing that struck me as odd is that almost all of the brands shown, with the exception of the Orbit gum, are from Whole Foods - 365 Everyday Value is their store brand. That implies content scraping. So, I went hunting - the original article came from a site called "The Thirty," which is apparently published an international fashion company called Who What Wear, which in turn is part of Clique Brands. They're run by Katharine Power and Hillary Kerr.

They're not giving you this advice because there's a health risk. They're giving you this advice because manipulative fashion content is what they do. This article affects almost nobody, at least from a health perspective, and appears to focus solely on foods that would make you uncomfortable should you dress in close-fitting garments.

This is an article from a content farm that couldn't give a shiat about you, but is quite happy to make a buck off your insecurities.
 
2020-08-15 4:00:10 PM  
*the kind of article for those who want to either claim sensitivity to avoid or refuse such foods. The next question was "...why?"
 
2020-08-15 4:39:05 PM  
I don't eat 7 of those things now and this article will not change my mind about the other 8.
 
2020-08-16 12:12:15 AM  
Cauliflower and broccoli are good for you for the v reasons the article says they're bad for you. They have lots of fiber. If you haven't been reading enough, that'll cause distress. As time goes on, you'll suffer less distress and your gut will be healthier (and so will you).
 
2020-08-16 2:23:53 PM  
Some random song lyrics I remember:

What kind of world do we live in?
Oh, how can it be such a bore?
They're taking away life's simple pleasures
When a fart can't be funny anymore.

So you take your girlfriend out to a Mexican restaurant,
tell her she can have anything she pleases.
But by the time that greasy snack
hits her lower tract,
She'll fill your bedroom up with backside sneezes.

But how many times must a good girl fart,
before she gets thrown out of bed?
The answer my friend is blowing in the wind,
The answer my is blowing in the wind.
 
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