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(The New York Times)   Because they apparently think THIS is a good look for the right now, hedge funds and private equity firms are suing commercial landlords who aren't squeezing tenants hard enough for rents   (nytimes.com) divider line
    More: Asinine, Debt, Mezzanine capital, Private equity, type of lender, foreclosure attempt, hotel rooms, New York judge, real estate investors  
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602 clicks; posted to Business » on 14 Aug 2020 at 12:50 PM (5 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2020-08-14 11:31:11 AM  
I used to have hedge fund and PE principals as clients. That universe is a small, secluded, exclusive club. Generally, one must be born into it to acquire one of those positions. Those individuals at the top of that gamel have absolutely, positively never once in their life been exposed to anything that bears a resemblance to actual responsibility. They've never for a moment struggled with anything more than their inebriated parents yelling garbled commandments.

To say the least, these individuals are fully clueless about how the other 99.9% live.

The phalanx of analysts, statisticians and PhDs that populate the bullpens of hedge funds and PE firms? They come from all manner of backgrounds. They do well, but they will never be at the top. One might almost feel bad for the staff Economist who tries to explain the perils of milking dry turnips. But, they tied their boat to the clueless egos that push forth, so fark them, too.

They leveraged the world; now the fulcrum is beginning to snap. Here's to hoping at least a few are crushed by their own creations.
 
2020-08-14 12:52:53 PM  

beezeltown: I used to have hedge fund and PE principals as clients. That universe is a small, secluded, exclusive club. Generally, one must be born into it to acquire one of those positions. Those individuals at the top of that gamel have absolutely, positively never once in their life been exposed to anything that bears a resemblance to actual responsibility. They've never for a moment struggled with anything more than their inebriated parents yelling garbled commandments.

To say the least, these individuals are fully clueless about how the other 99.9% live.

The phalanx of analysts, statisticians and PhDs that populate the bullpens of hedge funds and PE firms? They come from all manner of backgrounds. They do well, but they will never be at the top. One might almost feel bad for the staff Economist who tries to explain the perils of milking dry turnips. But, they tied their boat to the clueless egos that push forth, so fark them, too.

They leveraged the world; now the fulcrum is beginning to snap. Here's to hoping at least a few are crushed by their own creations.


I've encountered some ex-fund research economists working for the Fed, Treasury CFPB etc and I can confirm.  Smart as blazes  but....a little..real world clueless.   I recall one discussing a research project they wanted to do on overdraft feesn   "We want to understand why low-income people CHOOSE to use theese 'products"  when they are so expensive per transaction ($35 fee per)"

As a consumer advocate I had to gently explain the realities of being poor and how those fees weren't really a choice, nor even voluntarily incurred as the average Joe actually has NO WAY to get an accurate balance from their Online banking statement, ATM receipt or even going into a bank and asking a teller to look it up.  And how leaving a "cushion" just in case isn't something many people can do
 
2020-08-14 1:00:38 PM  

beezeltown: They leveraged the world; now the fulcrum is beginning to snap. Here's to hoping at least a few are crushed by their own creations.


This never happens.

Boom or bust, they are always the first to profit and the last to suffer.
 
2020-08-14 1:03:06 PM  
At least they not entirely focused on draining every bank account of COVID19 patients.
 
2020-08-14 1:15:53 PM  
It seemed like increasing rents and real estate prices were a bottomless well of profit.  This same mistake was made 13 years ago.  And in recessions before that and stretching back to land booms and real estate busts.  I don't know why they never learn that the music eventually stops playing.
 
2020-08-14 1:28:42 PM  

Ishkur: beezeltown: They leveraged the world; now the fulcrum is beginning to snap. Here's to hoping at least a few are crushed by their own creations.

This never happens.

Boom or bust, they are always the first to profit and the last to suffer.


Most will survive, unscathed, regardless. Every now and then one gets caught in the gears and crushed.
 
2020-08-14 1:34:10 PM  
You can't beat the professionals in the stock market they said.

The only way for a poor guy to make money is real estate they said. So save up all your (and your wife's) income and buy a cheap house they said. Then scrape up your money up again and buy a second really beat up place. Rent the first house and live in the second beat up place while you fix it up. Renting the first place will pay for its mortgage and eventually turn a profit they said. Then use that money to buy a third beat up place and rent the second one which you've fixed up. Repeat and repeat, and some day you'll be rich.

Yeah, being a small landlord is tough because people don't take care of stuff and so you're going to spend every weekend and holiday doing repairs on your rentals, and then sometimes  people skip without paying. But, stay with it, and even if the stock market crashes, you'll actually own something.

Wait! In 2020 people don't have to pay their rent to you for a year, but YOU have to pay ALL Your bills?

Fark.
 
2020-08-14 1:49:50 PM  

Hachitori: You can't beat the professionals in the stock market they said.

The only way for a poor guy to make money is real estate they said. So save up all your (and your wife's) income and buy a cheap house they said. Then scrape up your money up again and buy a second really beat up place. Rent the first house and live in the second beat up place while you fix it up. Renting the first place will pay for its mortgage and eventually turn a profit they said. Then use that money to buy a third beat up place and rent the second one which you've fixed up. Repeat and repeat, and some day you'll be rich.

Yeah, being a small landlord is tough because people don't take care of stuff and so you're going to spend every weekend and holiday doing repairs on your rentals, and then sometimes  people skip without paying. But, stay with it, and even if the stock market crashes, you'll actually own something.

Wait! In 2020 people don't have to pay their rent to you for a year, but YOU have to pay ALL Your bills?

Fark.


David Sedaris has a funny story about his dad getting hooked by late night infomercials into buying several rental houses only to sell them all after realizing that it would only end badly for him.
 
2020-08-14 2:19:49 PM  

Rapmaster2000: Hachitori: You can't beat the professionals in the stock market they said.

The only way for a poor guy to make money is real estate they said. So save up all your (and your wife's) income and buy a cheap house they said. Then scrape up your money up again and buy a second really beat up place. Rent the first house and live in the second beat up place while you fix it up. Renting the first place will pay for its mortgage and eventually turn a profit they said. Then use that money to buy a third beat up place and rent the second one which you've fixed up. Repeat and repeat, and some day you'll be rich.

Yeah, being a small landlord is tough because people don't take care of stuff and so you're going to spend every weekend and holiday doing repairs on your rentals, and then sometimes  people skip without paying. But, stay with it, and even if the stock market crashes, you'll actually own something.

Wait! In 2020 people don't have to pay their rent to you for a year, but YOU have to pay ALL Your bills?

Fark.

David Sedaris has a funny story about his dad getting hooked by late night infomercials into buying several rental houses only to sell them all after realizing that it would only end badly for him.


Passive income sounds great.  Except it really ain't so passive.
 
2020-08-14 2:49:08 PM  
Guillotines aren't *that* difficult to make, guys.
 
2020-08-14 3:04:58 PM  
AJJ - "Mega Guillotine 2020" (Official Video)
Youtube YYJ5ZViYhHQ
 
2020-08-14 3:29:19 PM  

Rapmaster2000: Hachitori: You can't beat the professionals in the stock market they said.

The only way for a poor guy to make money is real estate they said. So save up all your (and your wife's) income and buy a cheap house they said. Then scrape up your money up again and buy a second really beat up place. Rent the first house and live in the second beat up place while you fix it up. Renting the first place will pay for its mortgage and eventually turn a profit they said. Then use that money to buy a third beat up place and rent the second one which you've fixed up. Repeat and repeat, and some day you'll be rich.

Yeah, being a small landlord is tough because people don't take care of stuff and so you're going to spend every weekend and holiday doing repairs on your rentals, and then sometimes  people skip without paying. But, stay with it, and even if the stock market crashes, you'll actually own something.

Wait! In 2020 people don't have to pay their rent to you for a year, but YOU have to pay ALL Your bills?

Fark.

David Sedaris has a funny story about his dad getting hooked by late night infomercials into buying several rental houses only to sell them all after realizing that it would only end badly for him.


Where's this? Is it in one of his books?
 
2020-08-14 3:45:38 PM  

hoodiowithtudio: Rapmaster2000: Hachitori: You can't beat the professionals in the stock market they said.

The only way for a poor guy to make money is real estate they said. So save up all your (and your wife's) income and buy a cheap house they said. Then scrape up your money up again and buy a second really beat up place. Rent the first house and live in the second beat up place while you fix it up. Renting the first place will pay for its mortgage and eventually turn a profit they said. Then use that money to buy a third beat up place and rent the second one which you've fixed up. Repeat and repeat, and some day you'll be rich.

Yeah, being a small landlord is tough because people don't take care of stuff and so you're going to spend every weekend and holiday doing repairs on your rentals, and then sometimes  people skip without paying. But, stay with it, and even if the stock market crashes, you'll actually own something.

Wait! In 2020 people don't have to pay their rent to you for a year, but YOU have to pay ALL Your bills?

Fark.

David Sedaris has a funny story about his dad getting hooked by late night infomercials into buying several rental houses only to sell them all after realizing that it would only end badly for him.

Where's this? Is it in one of his books?


Yes.  I've read several so I can't remember which one.  There was a part about him seeing at that moment that his empire would crumble... there would be a car battery thrown through a window... or similar.
 
2020-08-14 4:04:58 PM  

hoodiowithtudio: Rapmaster2000: Hachitori: You can't beat the professionals in the stock market they said.

The only way for a poor guy to make money is real estate they said. So save up all your (and your wife's) income and buy a cheap house they said. Then scrape up your money up again and buy a second really beat up place. Rent the first house and live in the second beat up place while you fix it up. Renting the first place will pay for its mortgage and eventually turn a profit they said. Then use that money to buy a third beat up place and rent the second one which you've fixed up. Repeat and repeat, and some day you'll be rich.

Yeah, being a small landlord is tough because people don't take care of stuff and so you're going to spend every weekend and holiday doing repairs on your rentals, and then sometimes  people skip without paying. But, stay with it, and even if the stock market crashes, you'll actually own something.

Wait! In 2020 people don't have to pay their rent to you for a year, but YOU have to pay ALL Your bills?

Fark.

David Sedaris has a funny story about his dad getting hooked by late night infomercials into buying several rental houses only to sell them all after realizing that it would only end badly for him.

Where's this? Is it in one of his books?


one of his earlier books. that is where I got my login from
 
2020-08-14 4:11:39 PM  

beezeltown: Ishkur: beezeltown: They leveraged the world; now the fulcrum is beginning to snap. Here's to hoping at least a few are crushed by their own creations.

This never happens.

Boom or bust, they are always the first to profit and the last to suffer.

Most will survive, unscathed, regardless. Every now and then one gets caught in the gears and crushed.


Yep and everyone else will think they're smarter than that sap even though it was mostly just dumb luck.
 
2020-08-14 4:16:55 PM  

BitwiseShift: At least they not entirely focused on draining every bank account of COVID19 patients.


Yet.
 
2020-08-14 4:18:13 PM  

Rapmaster2000: It seemed like increasing rents and real estate prices were a bottomless well of profit.  This same mistake was made 13 years ago.  And in recessions before that and stretching back to land booms and real estate busts.  I don't know why they never learn that the music eventually stops playing.


Because every one of them thinks that when the music stops *they* won't be the ones without a chair.
 
2020-08-14 4:41:07 PM  
Well, now all those commercial landlords have cover when they raise rents and start evicting.
 
2020-08-14 6:20:13 PM  

Ishkur: Rapmaster2000: It seemed like increasing rents and real estate prices were a bottomless well of profit.  This same mistake was made 13 years ago.  And in recessions before that and stretching back to land booms and real estate busts.  I don't know why they never learn that the music eventually stops playing.

Because every one of them thinks that when the music stops *they* won't be the ones without a chair.


Nah, by now they just figure they can whine and get a nice new chair via those evil socialisms.
 
2020-08-14 6:27:35 PM  

Peter Weyland: Guillotines aren't *that* difficult to make, guys.


A guillotine built by an inexperienced amateur is too likely to malfunction.

A headsman's axe is even simpler and cheaper.  Plus, you can get people to pay for the privilege of swinging it.  But choose your applicants carefully.  A botched job here means lower audience turnout and poor ratings.
 
2020-08-14 7:38:30 PM  

slumus lordicus: hoodiowithtudio: Rapmaster2000: Hachitori: You can't beat the professionals in the stock market they said.

The only way for a poor guy to make money is real estate they said. So save up all your (and your wife's) income and buy a cheap house they said. Then scrape up your money up again and buy a second really beat up place. Rent the first house and live in the second beat up place while you fix it up. Renting the first place will pay for its mortgage and eventually turn a profit they said. Then use that money to buy a third beat up place and rent the second one which you've fixed up. Repeat and repeat, and some day you'll be rich.

Yeah, being a small landlord is tough because people don't take care of stuff and so you're going to spend every weekend and holiday doing repairs on your rentals, and then sometimes  people skip without paying. But, stay with it, and even if the stock market crashes, you'll actually own something.

Wait! In 2020 people don't have to pay their rent to you for a year, but YOU have to pay ALL Your bills?

Fark.

David Sedaris has a funny story about his dad getting hooked by late night infomercials into buying several rental houses only to sell them all after realizing that it would only end badly for him.

Where's this? Is it in one of his books?

one of his earlier books. that is where I got my login from


images-na.ssl-images-amazon.comView Full Size


https://www.amazon.com/Dress-Your-Fam​i​ly-Corduroy-Denim/dp/0316143464/ref=tm​m_hrd_title_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dress​_​Your_Family_in_Corduroy_and_Denim
 
2020-08-14 7:38:35 PM  

Nicholas D. Wolfwood: Peter Weyland: Guillotines aren't *that* difficult to make, guys.

A guillotine built by an inexperienced amateur is too likely to malfunction.

A headsman's axe is even simpler and cheaper.  Plus, you can get people to pay for the privilege of swinging it.  But choose your applicants carefully.  A botched job here means lower audience turnout and poor ratings.


Define "botched job." One resulting in immediate death, or a lingering one? 🤔
 
2020-08-14 8:11:34 PM  
He who is accustomed to evil is offended by good.

That, and other proverbs and sayings about evil can be found here -
https://proverbicals.com/evil/amp/
 
2020-08-14 8:53:28 PM  
F you. Pay me. Hedge funds don't give a Fark.
 
2020-08-14 11:05:26 PM  

BolloxReader: Nicholas D. Wolfwood: Peter Weyland: Guillotines aren't *that* difficult to make, guys.

A guillotine built by an inexperienced amateur is too likely to malfunction.

A headsman's axe is even simpler and cheaper.  Plus, you can get people to pay for the privilege of swinging it.  But choose your applicants carefully.  A botched job here means lower audience turnout and poor ratings.

Define "botched job." One resulting in immediate death, or a lingering one? 🤔


A 'botched' beheading is one resulting not in a quick, clean severing, but rather leaves a ragged cut, head still attached, and blood spattered everywhere.  Messy and unattractive.

I speak from personal experience.  Back on the farm, in my teen years, there was one day when Mom decided it was time to liquidate the remaining denizens of the upper floor of the chicken house.  We raised chickens, and our chicken house was about 60% - 70% the size of the family farmhouse - two floors, about 100 chickens per floor.

At the time, there were only about 40 or so chickens left on the top floor.  I got to hold each and every one of them while Mom swung the axe.  She was good - most of them were clean kills - but the old saying about 'running around like a chicken with its head cut off'?  Yeah, it's literally true.  And despite no head, they make a hideous noise.

And a few of them were *not* clean kills.

It was quite a while before I ate chicken again, but on the whole, I'd say no lasting damage.  Except to the chickens.
 
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