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(Slate)   "My daughter has Instagram and a smartphone. She's 13 and follows her 23 year-old cousin who posts jokes about adult topics. She let me know about the follow; I worry about stuff influencing my daughter. Should I make her unfollow her cousin?"   (slate.com) divider line
    More: Awkward, Family, Profanity, 13-year-old daughter, inappropriate posts, parents of multiples, first time, Young Child, inappropriate things  
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300 clicks; posted to Discussion » on 14 Aug 2020 at 11:02 AM (5 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



24 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2020-08-14 7:48:13 AM  
You gave a 13 year-old access to infinite smut, hate, and chaos and you're worried about one cousin?
 
2020-08-14 9:06:31 AM  
She has other social accounts you don't know about.
 
2020-08-14 9:10:46 AM  
If your thirteen year old daughter has had no exposure from social media/tv/movies/etc to sex, drugs, or alcohol by now ... well 'grandma' you're about to have bigger problems.
 
2020-08-14 9:17:55 AM  
She definitely does butt stuff.
 
2020-08-14 9:34:05 AM  

Tr0mBoNe: You gave a 13 year-old access to infinite smut, hate, and chaos and you're worried about one cousin?


I didn't have the internet when I was a kid but I still knew all the words.
 
2020-08-14 10:22:03 AM  
Her cousin is probably more honest in what she teaches your daughter than you are.
 
2020-08-14 11:13:14 AM  
LOL at you thinking she only sees "adult" stuff from her cousin.
 
2020-08-14 11:29:09 AM  
Let me get this straight. You're worried about her getting influenced by what she sees and hears online and you're asking to be influenced by what you see and hear online?
 
2020-08-14 11:33:26 AM  
If there's one thing I've learned on Fark, it's that there's no such thing as a 13-year-old girl on the internet. You may think she's your daughter, but she's really a cop.
 
2020-08-14 11:45:27 AM  
Your kid can either learn adult stuff online from a trusted family member with whom she has a real relationship and can have real conversations about things with...

...Or from complete strangers that don't have her interests remotely at heart.

I'd take the cousin any day.  Especially one who 'kid lists' their material as a habit.
 
2020-08-14 11:45:49 AM  

Tr0mBoNe: You gave a 13 year-old access to infinite smut, hate, and chaos and you're worried about one cousin?


Infinite Smut is the name of my hardcore rap/Vangelis fusion band.
 
2020-08-14 12:05:31 PM  

Mugato: She definitely does butt stuff.


13-year-old, dude.
 
2020-08-14 1:06:16 PM  

Mentat: Tr0mBoNe: You gave a 13 year-old access to infinite smut, hate, and chaos and you're worried about one cousin?

I didn't have the internet when I was a kid but I still knew all the words.


I can't imagine growing up/parenting a teen now...

It's the difference between hearing that so and so have some dude a BJ (maybe having seen a VHS or magazine pictures of such an act)....and being able to watch 1000s of hours of BJs in 4K
 
2020-08-14 1:31:21 PM  

Sasquach: Mentat: Tr0mBoNe: You gave a 13 year-old access to infinite smut, hate, and chaos and you're worried about one cousin?

I didn't have the internet when I was a kid but I still knew all the words.

I can't imagine growing up/parenting a teen now...

It's the difference between hearing that so and so have some dude a BJ (maybe having seen a VHS or magazine pictures of such an act)....and being able to watch 1000s of hours of BJs in 4K


Yep, I had to have the "real girls don't do 95% of what you see online" conversation with my sons. It went pretty awkwardly.
 
2020-08-14 1:33:06 PM  

GoldSpider: Mugato: She definitely does butt stuff.

13-year-old, dude.


"Butt stuff" is a mandatory response to any advice column. I don't make the rules, i just abide by them.
 
2020-08-14 1:35:29 PM  

Gleeman: Yep, I had to have the "real girls don't do 95% of what you see online" conversation with my sons. It went pretty awkwardly.


Highlighting the importance of finding a girl in that 5% and not settling.
 
2020-08-14 1:40:05 PM  
She follows at least 700 other accounts saying worse things.
 
2020-08-14 1:49:58 PM  

Tr0mBoNe: You gave a 13 year-old access to infinite smut, hate, and chaos and you're worried about one cousin?


Gotta agree with this comment the most.
 
2020-08-14 2:13:15 PM  
It's adorable that you think your 13 year old doesn't already know all the swear words and more terms/euphemisms for drugs and sex acts than you ever knew existed.
 
2020-08-14 2:33:27 PM  

Mugato: GoldSpider: Mugato: She definitely does butt stuff.

13-year-old, dude.

"Butt stuff" is a mandatory response to any advice column. I don't make the rules, i just abide by them.


external-preview.redd.itView Full Size
 
2020-08-14 4:36:08 PM  

Mugato: She definitely does butt stuff.


Thank you, Mr. Polanski.
 
2020-08-14 4:41:14 PM  

Sasquach: I can't imagine growing up/parenting a teen now...

It's the difference between hearing that so and so have some dude a BJ (maybe having seen a VHS or magazine pictures of such an act)....and being able to watch 1000s of hours of BJs in 4K


My philosophy: if they go looking for it, you can't stop them. We have an arbitrary age of 18, but kids get horny before that. And I genuinely think that legal porn does little harm to horny people. OK, I've seen stuff like scat porn and gay porn, and I never want to see it again, but I'm not traumatised by it.

We've had 20 years of this. Are the kids in the mid-30s damaged in huge numbers by it?

I'm far more worried about teenagers meeting with people they met on the net, or what happens when they go to evening events. They have met up with people on the net, so I accompanied them, made sure they were meeting a 14 year old girl, then sat in a nearby cafe. Any parent should be far more concerned by teenage pregnancy or abuse.
 
2020-08-14 8:08:40 PM  

Thudfark: Let me get this straight. You're worried about her getting influenced by what she sees and hears online and you're asking to be influenced by what you see and hear online?


Conversely, society accepts adults as able to make thier own decisions (baring leaders who rule by facism). You can enjoy beer, weed, and cigarettes, and tell your children none of those until they are 18 or put of the house.

It all comes down to trust. My parents had unlocked gun and liquor cabinets, and the threats of beaming beaten into one inch of my life stopped me from using those. When I was there.

A phone has zero accountability or visibility. You should take away her smart phone and give her a dumb phone.
 
2020-08-15 9:43:43 AM  

Tr0mBoNe: You gave a 13 year-old access to infinite smut, hate, and chaos and you're worried about one cousin?


This.  You relinquished your control of her when you placed the phone in the Alpha position... deal with it.. She already knows more than you ever will, on certain subjects.. and children just love to experiment !
 
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