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(Newcastle Evening Chronicle)   Bridge will prevent squirrels from being run over by traffic if anybody can teach the squirrels to use it   (chroniclelive.co.uk) divider line
    More: Interesting, Eastern Gray Squirrel, Tree squirrel, Hungry red squirrels, special squirrel bridges, Helen Hindson, endangered squirrels, second virus, District Red Squirrel Group  
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2097 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Aug 2020 at 12:41 AM (10 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



37 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2020-08-13 8:51:07 PM  
Put a bird feeder on the other side.
 
2020-08-13 9:15:10 PM  

hubiestubert: Put a bird feeder on the other side.


Schmear peanut butter on it?
 
2020-08-13 9:38:12 PM  

hubiestubert: Put a bird feeder on the other side.


*Shakes acorn*

/I was going to suggest in the middle.
 
2020-08-13 9:54:03 PM  
Squirrel bridges have worked so well for Longview,WA that they have started having a yearly Squirrel Fest:

https://www.roadsideamerica.com/tip/5​8​48
 
2020-08-13 11:15:04 PM  
I'm a little surprised that squirrels seem to accept these bridge designs, I'd assume they make easy targets for owls and hawks being so exposed.
 
2020-08-14 12:47:09 AM  

thecactusman17: I'm a little surprised that squirrels seem to accept these bridge designs, I'd assume they make easy targets for owls and hawks being so exposed.


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2020-08-14 12:47:46 AM  
Bridge is ok
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Dogs prefer poker
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2020-08-14 12:47:55 AM  
Oh good lord, it's not like squirrels are endangered.
 
2020-08-14 12:58:58 AM  

thecactusman17: I'm a little surprised that squirrels seem to accept these bridge designs, I'd assume they make easy targets for owls and hawks being so exposed.


I would put animatronic decoy squirrels on the bridge, controlled by a Raspberry Pi. They would move like real squirrels. Then every time a bird of prey swoops down to capture one it'll get mad because it isn't a real squirrel. Next thing you know the word will spread throughout the bird kingdom and all the birds of prey will ignore the bridge even if there are real squirrels using it.
 
2020-08-14 1:00:03 AM  
The squirrel bridges, which are made of rope, cost £750...

I'm sure there's more to this story.  Like the £100 they paid for the nail at each end.
 
2020-08-14 1:01:22 AM  
So no free meat
 
2020-08-14 1:04:28 AM  

Gyrfalcon: Oh good lord, it's not like squirrels are endangered.


Ref squirrels in the UK are in trouble, actually. Some Victorian imported grey squirrels from the US, and they have taken over and driven the red squirrels into a few little corners of the UK.
 
2020-08-14 1:04:43 AM  
Sure, protecting the tree rats is important.  But I would wonder if some of the available resources could be used to help us ground apes.  Well, I guess you would need to have an idea about how any of us ground apes are even salvageable in the first place.  So, yeah, skybridge for the tree rats.
 
2020-08-14 1:06:29 AM  

trappedspirit: Sure, protecting the tree rats is important.  But I would wonder if some of the available resources could be used to help us ground apes.  Well, I guess you would need to have an idea about how any of us ground apes are even salvageable in the first place.  So, yeah, skybridge for the tree rats.


Dude, how stoned are you.

The road is for US
 
2020-08-14 1:18:46 AM  

zang: The squirrel bridges, which are made of rope, cost £750...

I'm sure there's more to this story.  Like the £100 they paid for the nail at each end.


Probably includes engineering to ensure they don't fall on roads after a few months plus observational work to determine where the bridges will get the most traffic.
 
2020-08-14 1:23:14 AM  

jso2897: Gyrfalcon: Oh good lord, it's not like squirrels are endangered.

Ref squirrels in the UK are in trouble, actually. Some Victorian imported grey squirrels from the US, and they have taken over and driven the red squirrels into a few little corners of the UK.


Just paying them back for the starlings.
 
2020-08-14 1:45:45 AM  

thecactusman17: I'm a little surprised that squirrels seem to accept these bridge designs, I'd assume they make easy targets for owls and hawks being so exposed.


They've got balls, I'll tell you that.
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2020-08-14 2:05:26 AM  
Teach them how to use it? Is that what you think the real problem is here?

thumbs.gfycat.comView Full Size
 
2020-08-14 2:16:13 AM  
Seems like this problem will self-correct in a few generations.
 
2020-08-14 2:44:09 AM  
Enjoy:

Building the Perfect Squirrel Proof Bird Feeder
Youtube hFZFjoX2cGg
 
2020-08-14 3:08:53 AM  
Okay, I think that this is pretty darned awesome, but did they really make a monkey bridge out of rope? For f*ck's sake, there is no need to make some elaborate, just put up a single strand of rope. Squirrels are agile little critters. They walk along telephone wires. They do not need some fancy miniature bridge.
 
2020-08-14 3:15:18 AM  

thecactusman17: I'm a little surprised that squirrels seem to accept these bridge designs, I'd assume they make easy targets for owls and hawks being so exposed.


Where I live, they are constantly using the overhead cables run on the telephone poles all the time.
 
2020-08-14 3:31:39 AM  

zang: I'm sure there's more to this story.  Like the £100 they paid for the nail at each end.


I've just returned from a holiday in Norfolk, where at a couple of points along the A11, there were these weird bridges, which we assumed were for some type of wildlife. It's only today that I've done the research and found out they were built for Bats, cost £350,000, and have never been used.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england​-​34605886
 
2020-08-14 3:37:45 AM  
This sounds like a job for Tim Burton.
 
2020-08-14 4:18:22 AM  
Damn there goes my "Roadkill" restaurant idea..........
 
2020-08-14 4:41:32 AM  

Gyrfalcon: Oh good lord, it's not like squirrels are endangered.


Red ones are, because they are so stupid. Grey ones are industrious and evil.
Grey squirrels will coax red ones onto the highway with stories of giant acorns in the land "just across the yellow lines".
The dumb bastards follow them out there and then fall for the old "wait here a minute I forgot something I'll be right back" routine, and within a few minutes they're mashed into the tire treads of a logging truck, never to be seen again. Grey squirrels are just little shiats in the animal community.
It's absolutely why you never see penguins in forests anymore.
 
2020-08-14 5:00:20 AM  

delsydsoftware: Squirrel bridges have worked so well for Longview,WA that they have started having a yearly Squirrel Fest:

https://www.roadsideamerica.com/tip/58​48


Took this when they unveiled the new one in 2013
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2020-08-14 5:23:51 AM  

Stantz: zang: I'm sure there's more to this story.  Like the £100 they paid for the nail at each end.

I've just returned from a holiday in Norfolk, where at a couple of points along the A11, there were these weird bridges, which we assumed were for some type of wildlife. It's only today that I've done the research and found out they were built for Bats, cost £350,000, and have never been used.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-​34605886


Ha. We are going to Cromer later this year. Small world.
 
2020-08-14 5:57:45 AM  

Pert: Ha. We are going to Cromer later this year. Small world.


If you've got kids you need to knacker out, I recommend Bewilderwood. Kids aren't nuts about the whole social distancing thing, but there's plenty there to keep them occupied for a few hours
 
2020-08-14 6:11:23 AM  

hubiestubert: Put a bird feeder on the other side.


TRUTH.
Or even a gottdammed hummingbird feeder.

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friggin' cute little bastard tree rats.
 
2020-08-14 7:18:14 AM  
squirrel & catapult short version
Youtube adlH1WtyCcU
 
2020-08-14 8:24:26 AM  
The Grand Tour | Conversation Street : Season 1 (Best Moments)
Youtube zo44ro0Qr2A
 
2020-08-14 8:40:50 AM  

jso2897: Gyrfalcon: Oh good lord, it's not like squirrels are endangered.

Ref squirrels in the UK are in trouble, actually. Some Victorian imported grey squirrels from the US, and they have taken over and driven the red squirrels into a few little corners of the UK.


Ironically the red is surviving in a few areas because the greys are an easier meal for pine martens. The greys haven't evolved to escape this predator so they're the ones that become lunch.

BTW Ireland faces the same issues with grey vs red squirrels although greys are somewhat less widespread.
 
2020-08-14 9:10:11 AM  
Meanwhile, 57 years ago...

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2020-08-14 9:19:20 AM  

Stantz: zang: I'm sure there's more to this story.  Like the £100 they paid for the nail at each end.

I've just returned from a holiday in Norfolk, where at a couple of points along the A11, there were these weird bridges, which we assumed were for some type of wildlife. It's only today that I've done the research and found out they were built for Bats, cost £350,000, and have never been used.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-​34605886


A net over the road might make some sense to keep them from flying into vehicles but the pictured bat tunnel... why? Who thought this was a good idea?
 
2020-08-14 9:36:57 AM  
There's a reason squirrel season is over 5 months long in VA.

/fark those farkers
 
2020-08-14 9:48:21 AM  
This sounds like the 1800 mile long wolves-only highway that a group wanted built for Pluie the wolf at a cost of only $900 million. That includes donations and corporate sponsorships.
 
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