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(Tampa Bay Times)   Florida man breaks into professional soccer stadium, lives in luxury suite for two weeks, dresses himself in team clothes and eats and drinks from concession stands before being discovered   (tampabay.com) divider line
    More: Florida, Arrest, Shaving, Pinellas County, Florida, Al Lang Stadium, Resisting arrest, Criminal law, St. Petersburg, Florida, Daniel Albert Neja  
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3947 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Aug 2020 at 3:35 PM (28 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

 
2020-08-13 3:36:54 PM  
67 votes:
"...he also consumed $250 in drinks ..."

So three beers?
 
2020-08-13 3:50:22 PM  
20 votes:

bthom37: If a crime is cool enough, it should not be considered a crime.


Agreed. Just the other day I was asked what I thought about crime in our town. I said, "it could be better."
 
2020-08-13 4:34:48 PM  
17 votes:
We thought there was a bum like living in the office building.  Smelly guy wearing old flip flops.  Turned out he was a UNIX programmer
 
2020-08-13 3:48:35 PM  
16 votes:
I hope he had access to the team's mascot costume and got to frolic around the stadium in it just for the lulz.
 
2020-08-13 4:43:06 PM  
12 votes:

Harry Freakstorm: We thought there was a bum like living in the office building.  Smelly guy wearing old flip flops.  Turned out he was a UNIX programmer


You kicked him out anyway, right?
 
2020-08-13 5:41:21 PM  
10 votes:

mofa: Why is the security system in my 1080 square foot home more comprehensive than that of a professional sports stadium?


well, it's soccer . . .

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2020-08-13 3:54:47 PM  
10 votes:

dothemath: "...he also consumed $250 in drinks ..."

So three beers?


I came to make this EXACT joke, even with the three beers.
 
2020-08-13 3:45:51 PM  
10 votes:
If a crime is cool enough, it should not be considered a crime.
 
2020-08-13 4:32:57 PM  
9 votes:
resisting an officer without violence

Did he flop to the ground while holding his knee and fake cry?

/soccer and all
 
2020-08-13 5:01:19 PM  
6 votes:
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2020-08-13 4:56:02 PM  
5 votes:

SansNeural: Harry Freakstorm: We thought there was a bum like living in the office building.  Smelly guy wearing old flip flops.  Turned out he was a UNIX programmer

You kicked him out anyway, right?


We tried to RM him but until we reboot the building he's technically still there
 
2020-08-13 3:58:44 PM  
5 votes:
Same thing happened to Chuck Mangione.
 
2020-08-13 4:27:25 PM  
4 votes:

dothemath: Inaditch: I came to make this EXACT joke, even with the three beers.

Sometimes its not about originality, just raw speed.


Tell that to my ex wife.
 
2020-08-13 4:13:37 PM  
4 votes:

Inaditch: I came to make this EXACT joke, even with the three beers.


Sometimes its not about originality, just raw speed.
 
2020-08-13 4:10:27 PM  
4 votes:
Mr. Fuzzypaws

A friend of mine lived in a hallway closet of a large house that was turned into apartments for a couple months. A couple of the tenants knew he was there but didn't care because all he did was keep his stuff there and sleep.


Why would someone turn a house into apartments for only a couple of months?
 
2020-08-13 3:53:44 PM  
4 votes:

mofa: Why is the security system in my 1080 square foot home more comprehensive than that of a professional sports stadium?


Because the neighborhood the stadium is in isn't populated by crackheads?
 
2020-08-13 3:45:58 PM  
4 votes:
Lucky Ducky!
 
2020-08-13 6:30:38 PM  
3 votes:
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What's his GoFundMe?
 
2020-08-13 4:12:29 PM  
3 votes:

Random Anonymous Blackmail: Why would someone turn a house into apartments for only a couple of months?


College town.
 
2020-08-13 7:48:52 PM  
2 votes:
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Son, I am not disappoint.
 
2020-08-13 5:59:15 PM  
2 votes:
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The new acquaintance did get caught
And must pay for the crime.
It's just too bad, I guess he didn't read the...
Al Lang Sign
 
2020-08-13 5:45:41 PM  
2 votes:
Remember that show The Pretender? It was about a genius amnesiac that pretended to have a different career every episode.

I want an all Florida version of that show with drugs and alligators and hurricanes and sinkholes and old people.
 
2020-08-13 4:17:13 PM  
2 votes:
My boss caught a homeless man living in his guest house a couple of years back.

Said boss is loaded beyond belief - his guest house has its own swimming pool. He showed me the pics that the police snapped as they were questioning him: the homeless guy complete with untrimmed beard, uncut hair and super duper crazy eyes relaxing by the pool in a white robe sipping Perrier.

It would have been insanely funny had I not just come back to the office after a week in the hospital after I was beaten by a crazed homeless person while walking to work.
 
2020-08-13 4:03:38 PM  
2 votes:
Tropicana Field is like 10 blocks away and you chose Al Lang? I guess this guy is a minor league bum.
 
2020-08-13 4:02:27 PM  
2 votes:
Ironically, my fondest memories (as browned out as they are) of that stadium are the $1.00 beer nights for Cardinals games (their minor league affiliate).  My father went when they were a quarter and described it as "the cheapest bar in town".
 
2020-08-13 3:58:30 PM  
2 votes:
What is this "soccer" of which you speak?
 
2020-08-13 3:57:11 PM  
2 votes:
This sounds like it could be an Always Sunnyepisode.
 
2020-08-13 3:53:26 PM  
2 votes:

dothemath: "...he also consumed $250 in drinks ..."

So three beers?


Three 12oz beers to be exact.
 
2020-08-13 3:46:54 PM  
2 votes:

mofa: Why is the security system in my 1080 square foot home more comprehensive than that of a professional sports stadium?


He's probably been doing it for years. They only noticed because of Covid - increased patrols and decreased "yeah he looks like he belongs here" people.

Am I kidding? Not sure. Find out next year.
 
2020-08-13 3:38:56 PM  
2 votes:
Holy fivehead Batman!!
 
2020-08-13 3:38:34 PM  
2 votes:

edmo: I'm kinda impressed.


media.tenor.comView Full Size
 
2020-08-13 6:54:09 PM  
1 vote:

bthom37: If a crime is cool enough, it should not be considered a crime.


That's the theory behind trial by jury.
 
2020-08-13 6:31:03 PM  
1 vote:

CFitzsimmons: bthom37: If a crime is cool enough, it should not be considered a crime.

Agreed. Just the other day I was asked what I thought about crime in our town. I said, "it could be better."


thumbs.gfycat.comView Full Size
 
2020-08-13 6:11:03 PM  
1 vote:

FkYouFkYouFkYou-WhosNext: This reminds me of the artist who built a secret room in a shopping mall parking garage.

http://www.nbcnews.com/id/21100501/ns/​us_news-weird_news/t/artist-sentenced-​secret-apartment-mall/


And that reminds me of a comment I read in this thread a few minutes ago.
 
2020-08-13 5:13:04 PM  
1 vote:
ng2810:

It would have been insanely funny had I not just come back to the office after a week in the hospital after I was beaten by a crazed homeless person while walking to work.

Hahahahahhaahaha
 
2020-08-13 4:58:14 PM  
1 vote:

dothemath: "...he also consumed $250 in drinks ..."

So three beers?


Get the joke, but this is USL - the minor leagues of American Soccer. And like minor league baseball, they'll damned near pay you to drink to get people in the stands.
 
2020-08-13 4:47:00 PM  
1 vote:

Kumana Wanalaia: What is this "soccer" of which you speak?


European football
 
2020-08-13 4:39:16 PM  
1 vote:

ng2810: My boss caught a homeless man living in his guest house a couple of years back.

Said boss is loaded beyond belief - his guest house has its own swimming pool. He showed me the pics that the police snapped as they were questioning him: the homeless guy complete with untrimmed beard, uncut hair and super duper crazy eyes relaxing by the pool in a white robe sipping Perrier.

It would have been insanely funny had I not just come back to the office after a week in the hospital after I was beaten by a crazed homeless person while walking to work.


Was his name Jim Bullock?
 
2020-08-13 4:25:13 PM  
1 vote:
It's good work if you can get it.
 
2020-08-13 4:16:23 PM  
1 vote:
We have a bunch of buildings here in Calgary that have floors shut down due to lack of tenancy.

Many of my contracts have been to shut down floors as these companies turtle their operations; it may sound technical but really this means : find the switch room and yank power on everything other than the key locks and entry and egress cameras.

I've found one encampment on the top floor of an amazing building, these guys and gals tailgate and cardboard up the key locks on the fire escapes and doors so they can gain entry at night.

Electricity is still running so they were baked out of their heads and had all the smart boards in one room and were farking around on all the executive  office furniture hauled into that room.

In another universe I would have given them wifi access and showed a few of them the steam room for the gym on that floor.

/ no bull.

/Wild West in a lot of corners up here.
 
2020-08-13 4:09:29 PM  
1 vote:
Love how they are so speedy in arresting and adding up the damages when a homeless person farks up.

I really don't understand why he doesn't buy some more money and hire a big-shot lawyer.
 
2020-08-13 4:04:52 PM  
1 vote:
A friend of mine lived in a hallway closet of a large house that was turned into apartments for a couple months. A couple of the tenants knew he was there but didn't care because all he did was keep his stuff there and sleep.
 
2020-08-13 3:42:52 PM  
1 vote:
 
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