Skip to content
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Tampa Bay Times)   Florida man breaks into professional soccer stadium, lives in luxury suite for two weeks, dresses himself in team clothes and eats and drinks from concession stands before being discovered   (tampabay.com) divider line
    More: Florida, Arrest, Shaving, Pinellas County, Florida, Al Lang Stadium, Resisting arrest, Criminal law, St. Petersburg, Florida, Daniel Albert Neja  
•       •       •

3915 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Aug 2020 at 3:35 PM (15 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



82 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

 
2020-08-13 1:27:37 PM  
I'm kinda impressed.
 
2020-08-13 3:36:54 PM  
"...he also consumed $250 in drinks ..."

So three beers?
 
2020-08-13 3:38:34 PM  

edmo: I'm kinda impressed.


media.tenor.comView Full Size
 
2020-08-13 3:38:35 PM  
Why is the security system in my 1080 square foot home more comprehensive than that of a professional sports stadium?
 
2020-08-13 3:38:56 PM  
Holy fivehead Batman!!
 
2020-08-13 3:39:09 PM  
 
2020-08-13 3:42:13 PM  
Good on him.
 
2020-08-13 3:42:26 PM  
I once found a homeless guy living in a physician's office a couple of doors from mine in a major metropolitan county hospital.
 
2020-08-13 3:42:52 PM  
 
2020-08-13 3:43:49 PM  
How many events per year?  Lasting only a few hours per night/day?  With probably only half of them having VIPs that show up?  He's probably put it to better/more use in that two weeks than an entire years worth of normal operation.
 
2020-08-13 3:44:07 PM  
*golf clap*
 
2020-08-13 3:45:51 PM  
If a crime is cool enough, it should not be considered a crime.
 
2020-08-13 3:45:58 PM  
Lucky Ducky!
 
2020-08-13 3:46:54 PM  

mofa: Why is the security system in my 1080 square foot home more comprehensive than that of a professional sports stadium?


He's probably been doing it for years. They only noticed because of Covid - increased patrols and decreased "yeah he looks like he belongs here" people.

Am I kidding? Not sure. Find out next year.
 
2020-08-13 3:48:35 PM  
I hope he had access to the team's mascot costume and got to frolic around the stadium in it just for the lulz.
 
2020-08-13 3:50:22 PM  

bthom37: If a crime is cool enough, it should not be considered a crime.


Agreed. Just the other day I was asked what I thought about crime in our town. I said, "it could be better."
 
2020-08-13 3:53:26 PM  

dothemath: "...he also consumed $250 in drinks ..."

So three beers?


Three 12oz beers to be exact.
 
2020-08-13 3:53:44 PM  

mofa: Why is the security system in my 1080 square foot home more comprehensive than that of a professional sports stadium?


Because the neighborhood the stadium is in isn't populated by crackheads?
 
2020-08-13 3:54:47 PM  

dothemath: "...he also consumed $250 in drinks ..."

So three beers?


I came to make this EXACT joke, even with the three beers.
 
2020-08-13 3:57:11 PM  
This sounds like it could be an Always Sunnyepisode.
 
2020-08-13 3:58:30 PM  
What is this "soccer" of which you speak?
 
2020-08-13 3:58:44 PM  
Same thing happened to Chuck Mangione.
 
2020-08-13 4:02:27 PM  
Ironically, my fondest memories (as browned out as they are) of that stadium are the $1.00 beer nights for Cardinals games (their minor league affiliate).  My father went when they were a quarter and described it as "the cheapest bar in town".
 
2020-08-13 4:02:53 PM  

mofa: Why is the security system in my 1080 square foot home more comprehensive than that of a professional sports stadium?


A: You didn't go with the lowest bidder.
B: Since it is your own property, you actually care.
 
2020-08-13 4:03:38 PM  
Tropicana Field is like 10 blocks away and you chose Al Lang? I guess this guy is a minor league bum.
 
2020-08-13 4:04:24 PM  

dothemath: "...he also consumed $250 in drinks ..."

So three beers?


"The value of the clothing he took was $1,043 and he also consumed $250 in drinks, arrest reports state."

And the jersey he was wearing when they caught him.
 
2020-08-13 4:04:52 PM  
A friend of mine lived in a hallway closet of a large house that was turned into apartments for a couple months. A couple of the tenants knew he was there but didn't care because all he did was keep his stuff there and sleep.
 
2020-08-13 4:05:51 PM  
As a guy who used to work stadium security, I can tell you that the luxury boxes never got checked during non-day games. We might go by and see if the door was closed, but that'd be it. It'd be easy to camp out in one of the boxes for few days.
 
2020-08-13 4:05:57 PM  

mofa: Why is the security system in my 1080 square foot home more comprehensive than that of a professional sports stadium?


Probably because they haven't been hit before.  That's the usual reason stuff like that goes down when you'd figure they'd have cameras and systems checking stuff out.  "Well no one's ever done that we didn't think we needed that here." is something you will hear time and time and time again.

/had a friend that worked for a company that did pro system installs - museums, corporate, venue, airports etc.
//that was #1 on his list of "Shiat we hear every 10 minutes."
///#2 of course was, "That's more money that we wanted to spend, can't you do it cheaper?"
 
2020-08-13 4:09:29 PM  
Love how they are so speedy in arresting and adding up the damages when a homeless person farks up.

I really don't understand why he doesn't buy some more money and hire a big-shot lawyer.
 
2020-08-13 4:10:27 PM  
Mr. Fuzzypaws

A friend of mine lived in a hallway closet of a large house that was turned into apartments for a couple months. A couple of the tenants knew he was there but didn't care because all he did was keep his stuff there and sleep.


Why would someone turn a house into apartments for only a couple of months?
 
2020-08-13 4:12:29 PM  

Random Anonymous Blackmail: Why would someone turn a house into apartments for only a couple of months?


College town.
 
2020-08-13 4:13:37 PM  

Inaditch: I came to make this EXACT joke, even with the three beers.


Sometimes its not about originality, just raw speed.
 
2020-08-13 4:16:23 PM  
We have a bunch of buildings here in Calgary that have floors shut down due to lack of tenancy.

Many of my contracts have been to shut down floors as these companies turtle their operations; it may sound technical but really this means : find the switch room and yank power on everything other than the key locks and entry and egress cameras.

I've found one encampment on the top floor of an amazing building, these guys and gals tailgate and cardboard up the key locks on the fire escapes and doors so they can gain entry at night.

Electricity is still running so they were baked out of their heads and had all the smart boards in one room and were farking around on all the executive  office furniture hauled into that room.

In another universe I would have given them wifi access and showed a few of them the steam room for the gym on that floor.

/ no bull.

/Wild West in a lot of corners up here.
 
2020-08-13 4:16:44 PM  

mofa: Why is the security system in my 1080 square foot home more comprehensive than that of a professional sports stadium?


You have fewer blind spots for your cameras?
 
2020-08-13 4:17:13 PM  
My boss caught a homeless man living in his guest house a couple of years back.

Said boss is loaded beyond belief - his guest house has its own swimming pool. He showed me the pics that the police snapped as they were questioning him: the homeless guy complete with untrimmed beard, uncut hair and super duper crazy eyes relaxing by the pool in a white robe sipping Perrier.

It would have been insanely funny had I not just come back to the office after a week in the hospital after I was beaten by a crazed homeless person while walking to work.
 
2020-08-13 4:22:50 PM  

Kumana Wanalaia: What is this "soccer" of which you speak?


It is what the vast majority of native English speakers call association football.
 
2020-08-13 4:22:52 PM  
Are there amateur soccer stadiums? I know there are plenty of soccer fields for amateurs.
 
2020-08-13 4:22:57 PM  

omg bbq: Love how they are so speedy in arresting and adding up the damages when a homeless person farks up.

I really don't understand why he doesn't buy some more money and hire a big-shot lawyer.


Two weeks is "speedy"?  And how much actual jail time do you think this guy is gonna serve?
 
2020-08-13 4:25:13 PM  
It's good work if you can get it.
 
2020-08-13 4:27:13 PM  
He should be released without bail.
 
2020-08-13 4:27:25 PM  

dothemath: Inaditch: I came to make this EXACT joke, even with the three beers.

Sometimes its not about originality, just raw speed.


Tell that to my ex wife.
 
2020-08-13 4:27:53 PM  
Well that's one way to solve the homeless problem. Let them stay at stadiums.
 
2020-08-13 4:28:39 PM  
Give the guy a pat on the back and send him on his way.
 
2020-08-13 4:31:05 PM  

FLMountainMan: omg bbq: Love how they are so speedy in arresting and adding up the damages when a homeless person farks up.

I really don't understand why he doesn't buy some more money and hire a big-shot lawyer.

Two weeks is "speedy"?  And how much actual jail time do you think this guy is gonna serve?


He was charged with a 2nd felony that has a penalty of up to 15 years in prison.
 
2020-08-13 4:32:57 PM  
resisting an officer without violence

Did he flop to the ground while holding his knee and fake cry?

/soccer and all
 
2020-08-13 4:34:48 PM  
We thought there was a bum like living in the office building.  Smelly guy wearing old flip flops.  Turned out he was a UNIX programmer
 
2020-08-13 4:35:50 PM  

FLMountainMan: omg bbq: Love how they are so speedy in arresting and adding up the damages when a homeless person farks up.

I really don't understand why he doesn't buy some more money and hire a big-shot lawyer.

Two weeks is "speedy"?  And how much actual jail time do you think this guy is gonna serve?


Oh, and as far as "speedy" goes, it took a month for those two St Louis lawyers who clearly and obviously threatened people walking past their yard without stepping foot on their property so two weeks isnt bad, really.
 
2020-08-13 4:39:16 PM  

ng2810: My boss caught a homeless man living in his guest house a couple of years back.

Said boss is loaded beyond belief - his guest house has its own swimming pool. He showed me the pics that the police snapped as they were questioning him: the homeless guy complete with untrimmed beard, uncut hair and super duper crazy eyes relaxing by the pool in a white robe sipping Perrier.

It would have been insanely funny had I not just come back to the office after a week in the hospital after I was beaten by a crazed homeless person while walking to work.


Was his name Jim Bullock?
 
2020-08-13 4:43:06 PM  

Harry Freakstorm: We thought there was a bum like living in the office building.  Smelly guy wearing old flip flops.  Turned out he was a UNIX programmer


You kicked him out anyway, right?
 
Displayed 50 of 82 comments


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all


View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking





On Twitter



  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.