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(Chicago Trib)   Now that Biden has made a splash by picking Harris, Trump needs replace Pence with someone more exciting. Since Haley is too busy fighting the Popcorn Factory, his options include the "My Pillow guy", an angry can of Goya beans, or a boat parade   (chicagotribune.com) divider line
    More: Amusing, Left-wing politics, Far left, Marilyn Manson, Democratic Party, Radicalism, Trump, presidential primary campaign, Harris pick  
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1041 clicks; posted to Politics » on 12 Aug 2020 at 9:35 AM (6 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



99 Comments     (+0 »)
 
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2020-08-12 8:33:51 AM  
Fark go all in
Ivanka
She's a female and Jewish so a twofer just like Harris
Come on do it Trump
 
2020-08-12 8:35:05 AM  
Pickle for VP!
 
2020-08-12 8:42:51 AM  
Randy Rainbow is the obvious choice.  Help us Randy Rainbow, you're our only hope.

No?
 
2020-08-12 8:46:49 AM  
The MyPillow guy has a proven track record of conning the rubes, but he doesn't play second fiddle very well.
 
2020-08-12 8:49:52 AM  
If he dumps Pence for a woman, what does that do with the fundy vote?
 
2020-08-12 8:53:32 AM  

BizarreMan: If he dumps Pence for a woman, what does that do with the fundy vote?



There's a better solution: pick a trans woman.  Formally a man, now a woman, and the fundies will....oh wait, I think I see a problem with that scenario.

Never mind.
 
2020-08-12 8:53:52 AM  

BizarreMan: If he dumps Pence for a woman, what does that do with the fundy vote?


Talk about getting your fundies in a twist.
 
2020-08-12 9:00:45 AM  

spongeboob: Fark go all in
Ivanka
She's a female and Jewish so a twofer just like Harris
Come on do it Trump


Plus he's already gotten rid of the sexual tension between them.

/Then again, maybe not.
//I'm implying they had sex.
///Three slashies for eeeeyw
 
2020-08-12 9:07:06 AM  

BizarreMan: If he dumps Pence for a woman, what does that do with the fundy vote?


Depends on HOW Fundy I s'pose.  I mean the Timothy 2:12 crowd
(. 12I do not permit a woman to teach or to assume authority over a man;[b] she must be quiet. 13For Adam was formed first, then Eve. 14And Adam was not the one deceived; it was the woman who was deceived and became a sinner. 15But women[c] will be saved through childbearing-if they continue in faith, love and holiness with propriety.)

might get a tech upset over that but...you know, Trump, so they will hand wave that away and pretend everything is okay even if it's directly opposite to what they "believe" in
 
2020-08-12 9:17:54 AM  
He can just run without a running mate and then appoint an "acting VP", just like all his Cabinet members. That way, he doesn't have to get anybody's approval and he can replace them every few months.

That's stable genius.
 
2020-08-12 9:20:39 AM  

MrBallou: He can just run without a running mate and then appoint an "acting VP", just like all his Cabinet members. That way, he doesn't have to get anybody's approval and he can replace them every few months.

That's stable genius.


No he can't. VP doesn't work that way.
 
2020-08-12 9:29:33 AM  

GardenWeasel: MrBallou: He can just run without a running mate and then appoint an "acting VP", just like all his Cabinet members. That way, he doesn't have to get anybody's approval and he can replace them every few months.

That's stable genius.

No he can't. VP doesn't work that way.


If he shot Mike Pence to death, you know they would let him pick a new one.  You KNOW they would.
 
2020-08-12 9:38:07 AM  
Fark user image
 
2020-08-12 9:38:37 AM  
He should go with John Barron, shoe-in!
 
2020-08-12 9:38:41 AM  

Albert911emt: BizarreMan: If he dumps Pence for a woman, what does that do with the fundy vote?


There's a better solution: pick a trans woman.  Formally a man, now a woman, and the fundies will....oh wait, I think I see a problem with that scenario.

Never mind.


i.guim.co.ukView Full Size

Then President plague will truly have fully become Mr Garrison
 
2020-08-12 9:39:35 AM  

Albert911emt: BizarreMan: If he dumps Pence for a woman, what does that do with the fundy vote?


There's a better solution: pick a trans woman.  Formally a man, now a woman, and the fundies will....oh wait, I think I see a problem with that scenario.

Never mind.


Rudy?
 
2020-08-12 9:40:08 AM  
I nominate...
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-08-12 9:40:09 AM  
Is Charles Manson still alive?  He'd do it for a pardon.
 
2020-08-12 9:40:50 AM  
John Barron or David Dennison. Maybe Carolyn Gallego if you want to woo the skirt vote.
 
2020-08-12 9:41:01 AM  
Sticking with Pence is the safe choice. So far, he's not showing any aptitude for planning in advance. I'm sure they have no contingency in place. Whoever he picks if he does choose to get rid of Pence will be an absolute unmitigated disaster. Probably a former member of the KKK. I mean, at this point why not? Go all-in. His only chance of winning is to get the deplorables out in force
 
2020-08-12 9:41:50 AM  
Sideshow Mike is out?  Tragic.

i.gifer.comView Full Size
 
2020-08-12 9:41:53 AM  
Here's Trump interviewing the potential veep replacement candidates.
Fark user imageView Full Size


/Angry can of Goya beans is the name of my Tex-mex-metal bar band
 
2020-08-12 9:42:12 AM  
It's going to be Jared

/ He does - corruptly or incompetently or both - every other dark gods damned thing, so why not..?
 
2020-08-12 9:42:26 AM  
upload.wikimedia.orgView Full Size


The choice is obvious.  Why isn't he answering his phone?
 
2020-08-12 9:43:20 AM  
He'd make a splash as naming Putin as his VP, step down as president after the election is stolen and then Putin would get what he wanted most.
 
2020-08-12 9:43:45 AM  
This is trump and the gop were talking about. They are consistent double-downers. If they dump pence don't expect them to go left in any way. They will find a derpier, nuttier, Qanon type mutant to shout over Harris in debates and drop a lot of 'but what abouts'.
 
2020-08-12 9:44:17 AM  
I don't get the talk of replacing Pence with a woman. If Trump follows Biden's lead and goes with a different VP, he's toast. Especially if he apes him so much that he chooses a woman or a woman of color.

Even the dumbest of his yokel supporters would see what a sign of slavish follower-type copycat weakness that is. It would be Trump admitting he's got nothing but is happy to copy his opponent. I think Trump understands that too.
 
2020-08-12 9:44:22 AM  

fruitloop: [Fark user image 579x100]


That's spicier than Pence.
 
2020-08-12 9:44:46 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-08-12 9:45:33 AM  

rudemix: They will find a derpier, nuttier, Qanon type mutant to shout over Harris in debates and drop a lot of 'but what abouts'.


Plus - it doesn't matter what your title is in this administration. They aren't looking for diverse viewpoints.  You kiss Trump's arse or you're out.  Period.
 
2020-08-12 9:46:47 AM  
Trump should pick Kamala Harris.
 
2020-08-12 9:46:49 AM  
I'm surprised he hasn't picked himself as running mate.
 
2020-08-12 9:48:11 AM  

Ker_Thwap: Randy Rainbow is the obvious choice.  Help us Randy Rainbow, you're our only hope.

No?


Is this disrespect for Randy Rainbow?  I'll tolerate no disrespect for Randy Rainbow.  He is a true patriot and national hero.  I'd prefer Mr. Rainbow in the Oval Office over anyone the GOP could nominate.  Rainbow is brilliant, unlike all the GOP traitorous jackwagons.
 
2020-08-12 9:48:31 AM  
It's gonna be Hope Hicks or, if he's really bold, Candace Owens.
 
2020-08-12 9:49:10 AM  

GardenWeasel: MrBallou: He can just run without a running mate and then appoint an "acting VP", just like all his Cabinet members. That way, he doesn't have to get anybody's approval and he can replace them every few months.

That's stable genius.

No he can't. VP doesn't work that way.


Rules are for Democrats. Trump and McConnell do whatever the hell they please.
 
2020-08-12 9:49:16 AM  

ReluctantLondon: It's going to be Jared


This is the correct answer. Every time Trump wants something important done he gets Jared to do it.

Jared brought peace to the middle east, he stopped the spread of COVID, his victories are undeniable!

JARED FOR VP!!
 
2020-08-12 9:50:00 AM  

Glorious Golden Ass: [upload.wikimedia.org image 850x1038]

The choice is obvious.  Why isn't he answering his phone?


Weekend at Herman's
 
2020-08-12 9:50:56 AM  
Dump him for Putin.

Then resign.

That would probably be the most honest thing he's ever done.
 
2020-08-12 9:51:52 AM  
After thinking about my joke last night about a Trump-Gabbard ticket after noticing that someone's suddenly amplifying her, upon reflection I gotta admit that it would be fantastic television.
 
2020-08-12 9:52:00 AM  
Why would Trump want a VP that steals attention from him? He hates friggin' Tony Fauci because Trump thinks the doctor is hogging the spotlight. Pence is the most perfect running mate Trump could ask for: a supplicant who never steps between the camera and Trump, an obsequious wet turd who mirrors all of Trump's gestures (bonus flattery points), and a guy who has a veneer of milquetoast America to cover for all Trump's shortcomings in the integrity department.

Hell, Trump will probably keep Pence around after he's out of office for these very reasons. After all, Pence laughs hardest at Trump's jokes and is always the last one to stop applauding. He's perfect.
 
2020-08-12 9:52:47 AM  

Sin'sHero: BizarreMan: If he dumps Pence for a woman, what does that do with the fundy vote?

Talk about getting your fundies in a twist.


And your bays.
 
2020-08-12 9:53:14 AM  
Kick out Pence, lose the evangelical cult.  Go for it you small mushroom dicked idiot.
 
2020-08-12 9:54:23 AM  
He may try for excitement. But he desperately does not want to be overshadowed. That is the only reason I don't know if he will pick one.

But if he does:

He may evaluate someone like Senator Cotton. A youthful, shouty military white guy that thinks he has foreign policy chomps is the ideal conservative counterpoint to an actually smart minority lawyer woman born to immigrants.

He may also consider a white female political figure who will not take too much attention. Like Gov. Noem and push her "Covid success".

Pence was considered important for the religious conservatives but we have learned that these dudes are actually racist secist bigots using religion to justify their agenda and blindly support Trump. He does not need a believer to keep them.
 
2020-08-12 9:54:37 AM  
He should pick on of the Fark "Progressives" who have worked so hard for him over the past few months.
 
2020-08-12 9:55:06 AM  

Magorn: BizarreMan: If he dumps Pence for a woman, what does that do with the fundy vote?

Depends on HOW Fundy I s'pose.  I mean the Timothy 2:12 crowd
(. 12I do not permit a woman to teach or to assume authority over a man; she must be quiet. 13For Adam was formed first, then Eve. 14And Adam was not the one deceived; it was the woman who was deceived and became a sinner. 15But women[c] will be saved through childbearing-if they continue in faith, love and holiness with propriety.)

might get a tech upset over that but...you know, Trump, so they will hand wave that away and pretend everything is okay even if it's directly opposite to what they "believe" in


All religions hate women. The only good women in their sickness are confirmed virgins.
 
2020-08-12 9:55:59 AM  
 
2020-08-12 9:56:07 AM  
People joke about Ivanka but I'm actually shocked she isn't on the ticket.  I figured setting up Pence to fail on Corona was how they were gonna replace him with Ivanka.  But nobody cares enough to blame Pence.
 
2020-08-12 9:56:09 AM  

Langdon_777: Kick out Pence, lose the evangelical cult.  Go for it you small mushroom dicked idiot.


Won't lose them. The evangelical telegrifters have strapped themselves to Trump. Pence may have brought the crowd in, but where else would they go now? For Kanye?
 
2020-08-12 9:56:50 AM  
I have just two words for you: Nancy Grace.
 
2020-08-12 9:57:32 AM  
He missed a pretty good opportunity to pin the entire botched Coronavirus response on Pence, something of which I'm sure was one of the primary considerations when they put Pence on point on the Coronavirus task force in the first place. That course of action would be muddled by the president becoming the face of the response through his briefings but still a worthy consideration if they'd give right-wing media a few weeks of notice to percolate the "Pence (D-Indiana)" talking points.

As things stand now, inertia has set in and no one is getting replaced. Trump may be desperate for any attention he can get but he is also a lazy, lazy man. Swapping the VP at this point is just too much work to be bothered with.
 
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