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(Slate)   My friends won't stop saying how they want to bang my hot husband. Should I be worried?   (slate.com) divider line
    More: Awkward, 2005 albums, video call, Q.Mom, good friends, letter writer, younger sister, kids' relationships, Dear Prudence  
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812 clicks; posted to Discussion » on 12 Aug 2020 at 2:50 AM (6 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



35 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2020-08-11 10:52:05 PM  
Only if not allowed to join in.
 
2020-08-12 12:16:33 AM  
They were talking shiat but they probably weren't serious. They are just jealous. Your other friend, who sent you the texts, is a backstabbing shiat disturber.
 
2020-08-12 12:39:15 AM  
Humble brag anyone?
 
2020-08-12 1:03:08 AM  
Nyah. He already farked them anyway.

Or their husbands.

Or both.

No worries.
 
2020-08-12 1:27:27 AM  
Only thing to do at this point is to preemptively fark all her friend's spouses. Oh, and butt stuff too.
 
2020-08-12 5:22:49 AM  
Wouldn't worry about it --- happens to me all the time*
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*I wish
 
2020-08-12 5:23:03 AM  
Look guy, I'm really sorry about this. I've told my wife hundreds of times to stop writing letters to Slate. I'm really embarrassed.
 
2020-08-12 5:40:20 AM  

colinspooky: Wouldn't worry about it --- happens to me all the time*
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*I wish


Why do you want people to say they want to fark your husband?
 
2020-08-12 6:01:04 AM  
One of my girlfriends has a hot husband.

I told her, "Don't leave him unattended."

She said, "Go ahead, that's just one less chore I have to do."
 
2020-08-12 6:15:16 AM  

Brandi Morgan: One of my girlfriends has a hot husband.

I told her, "Don't leave him unattended."

She said, "Go ahead, that's just one less chore I have to do."


Ouch
 
2020-08-12 6:26:46 AM  
"Recently, Anna, a good friend whom I met through our daughters' school, texted me screenshots of a conversation between her and Bridget and Rita, two other good friends. Bridget and Rita spoke very graphically about what they'd like to do to Quinn and said some really unkind things about me"

You are an imbecile and your marriage is likely already over.
 
2020-08-12 6:42:56 AM  
Dump all three of those 'good friends'.
 
2020-08-12 7:25:46 AM  
Your husband slipped them all some cash to talk up his heterosexual street creds, so you'll dismiss the Grindr rumors later.
 
2020-08-12 7:33:38 AM  

nyan9mm: Brandi Morgan: One of my girlfriends has a hot husband.

I told her, "Don't leave him unattended."

She said, "Go ahead, that's just one less chore I have to do."

Ouch


I have a few friends who are older who talk about sex with their husbands with the same enthusiasm as performing an oil change. Every 6,000 miles or he runs rough and starts to sputter.
 
2020-08-12 7:39:47 AM  
Grab your hottest friend and have a 3-some with your husband. It's the only sure way to keep him.
 
2020-08-12 7:49:47 AM  
If you are real, then yes.  Some of your friends secretly don't like you and would love to get one over on you.
 
2020-08-12 7:53:56 AM  

Cheron: nyan9mm: Brandi Morgan: One of my girlfriends has a hot husband.

I told her, "Don't leave him unattended."

She said, "Go ahead, that's just one less chore I have to do."

Ouch

I have a few friends who are older who talk about sex with their husbands with the same enthusiasm as performing an oil change. Every 6,000 miles or he runs rough and starts to sputter.


You cut him off cold to murder him with prostate cancer.
 
2020-08-12 8:02:22 AM  

I am Tom Joad's Complete Lack of Surprise: Only if not allowed to join in.


ohh! yeah
 
2020-08-12 8:05:56 AM  

Cheron: nyan9mm: Brandi Morgan: One of my girlfriends has a hot husband.

I told her, "Don't leave him unattended."

She said, "Go ahead, that's just one less chore I have to do."

Ouch

I have a few friends who are older who talk about sex with their husbands with the same enthusiasm as performing an oil change. Every 6,000 miles or he runs rough and starts to sputter.


Is one of them married to Ben Shapiro?
 
2020-08-12 8:54:45 AM  
You could always say "do me first."
 
2020-08-12 9:15:32 AM  

Brandi Morgan: One of my girlfriends has a hot husband.
I told her, "Don't leave him unattended."
She said, "Go ahead, that's just one less chore I have to do."

Sounds immensely more legit than Slate's fake letters.
 
2020-08-12 9:26:47 AM  
The friend who shared the gossip was ham handed but potentially well intentioned. School her on her impact and see if she listens.

The other two women just gave you a hall pass to tee off on them and unleash holy hell. You have documentation that would give an average saint pause before calling you out for burning the word asshole in their lawn and salting the earth. You can take everything that has ever pissed you off and pour that frustration into making their lives less enjoyable. You can be so mean that you can tell this story to people for decades and they will likely see you as the hero of the tale.

Key a quote from the texts into their car! Put a screenshot of the messages into the Zoom meeting. Share this narrative with the entirety of your shared social circle. If they feel they can criticize your appearance, ask why you got the hot guy and they didn't.

Your in the position of a hero of a 70s Kung Fu flick. The enemy has systematically taken steps that would force a pacifist to club a baby seal. Now you decide if you're a one shot kind of killer, or if you prefer to whittle them down for a while. But remember, if it isn't fun, it isn't worth the time or headspace.

/you have a good marriage to a hot guy. Feeling bad about it is the least useful way to spend your time. And always remember...

Sippie Wallace - Women Be Wise
Youtube rf9gvuVXt0U
 
2020-08-12 9:26:47 AM  

LaChanz: Look guy, I'm really sorry about this. I've told my wife hundreds of times to stop writing letters to Slate. I'm really embarrassed.


Slate will get very upset if she does.

vignette.wikia.nocookie.netView Full Size
 
2020-08-12 9:38:07 AM  
Riskay - Smell Yo Dick Music Video (Embeddable)
Youtube KyR-FYwUpGg
 
2020-08-12 10:18:24 AM  
I saw a documentary online about this very topic. You're supposed to invite them over (with their husbands) to confront them. They arrive, dressed in very tight-fitting low-cut dresses (which is odd, because you are similarly clad). After a brief dialogue, You arrive at the conclusion that if they want to fark you husband, you can fark theirs, and then proceed to demonstrate....

I don't remember how it actually got resolved, I only saw about 5 minutes of it, but it's probably worth the effort. I'll see if I can find that website again, but I deleted my browser history so...
 
2020-08-12 11:02:08 AM  
Tell your friends how you don't mind the fact he has a micro penis and his pet name is "wee willy winky."
 
2020-08-12 11:56:39 AM  
That woman's three 'friends'...
i.ytimg.comView Full Size
 
2020-08-12 12:19:30 PM  
1) Jolene, I'm Begging Of You, Please Don't Take My Man: Get better friends.  Tell the existing ones to FRO.

2) But My Love Light Seems So Far Away: I understand your concern.  STFU and MYOB anyway.

3) You Don't Know What She's Like.  Mother-In-Law, Mother-In-Law: This is not a problem.  Keep calling her Barb.  She'll GTHOI.

4) Crawling From The Wreckage.  Bits Of Me Are Scattered In The Trees And In The Hedges: Seriously, DTMFA.

5) I'm An Art Lover: So your dead husband's dead first wife who you would not have met.  Similarities between you and her just means he had a type.  Nothing wrong with that.  It is not an ethical violation to keep the paintings.  It is an ethical violation for your sisters to act how they have.  They should be told to STFU and MYOB.  But if you want to share the art with the artist's living relatives, by all means do so.  You should just not feel obligated to do so.

6) Take This Job And Shove It: If the company can afford it and there's work to be done, I would say hire an assistant again.  Or start taking a salary.  You should not work without compensation, not even for family.

7) Big Ol' Jet Airliner II: As I said, I understand the concern, but this is a STFU and MYOB situation.

8) Mother-In-Law II: I still think Barb will GTHOI.

9) Big Ol' Jet Airliner III: As a wise man once said, "say your piece and get out."  That's all you can really do.  When you see an adult making a huge mistake that's got a big emotional component, the chances of dissuading them are next to nothing.  Concerns have already been brought up.  What else can you do?

10) Tempted By The Fruit Of Another (Classic): So basically Eric has indicated he's cheated already and would like to do so again.  You have no obligation to maintain that secret.
 
2020-08-12 12:25:26 PM  
♫♫ So always marry an ugly guy, cause that's the only kind. He'll never ever leave you, and if he does you won't mind. ♫♫
 
2020-08-12 12:31:18 PM  
Sounds like a whole lot of car vandalism in the offing.
 
2020-08-12 1:00:04 PM  

PaulRB: Humble brag anyone?


Was walking down a crowded street with SO a couple weeks ago in the middle of the day, and some ridiculously plastered young dude stared at SO's ass and loudly proclaimed to me "aw you're a lucky man". I laughed so hard. Got in a bit of trouble for my response to that one.

/humble brag
 
2020-08-12 1:27:28 PM  
Sigh

The letter writer's friends want to swing with her and Quin. God, this isn't rocket surgery. Can nobody take hints any more?
 
2020-08-12 1:27:38 PM  

August11: You are an imbecile and your marriage is likely already over.


This one here.

Gross. Those are your friends? Sweetie, find a therapist.
 
2020-08-12 4:22:53 PM  

eKonk: I saw a documentary online about this very topic. You're supposed to invite them over (with their husbands) to confront them. They arrive, dressed in very tight-fitting low-cut dresses (which is odd, because you are similarly clad). After a brief dialogue, You arrive at the conclusion that if they want to fark you husband, you can fark theirs, and then proceed to demonstrate....

I don't remember how it actually got resolved, I only saw about 5 minutes of it, but it's probably worth the effort. I'll see if I can find that website again, but I deleted my browser history so...


They fix the cable.
 
2020-08-12 11:42:42 PM  
I'm sorry, I have no idea how to help unless I can meet your husband at a no-tell motel for a couple hours so l to pump him for...information
 
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