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(Fark)   Subby's getting a new bathroom but unfortunately this means using a Port-A-Potty in the back yard while it gets gutted and remodeled. How can I make this a less crappy experience?   (fark.com) divider line
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76 clicks; posted to Discussion » on 11 Aug 2020 at 10:05 AM (24 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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2020-08-11 9:44:51 AM  
Invite everyone in the neighborhood to come take a dump in it before you.
 
2020-08-11 9:45:13 AM  
Short term rental.
 
2020-08-11 9:45:45 AM  
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2020-08-11 9:46:31 AM  
Locate the nearest Starbucks, and become very familiar with it.
 
2020-08-11 9:46:31 AM  
Just get yourself a litter box.
Problem solved.
 
2020-08-11 9:48:09 AM  
Shiat in the kitchen sink.

When I did mine, (there was another downstairs, so no biggie), the toilet actually stayed in place for the duration, minus the tiling, which was only 1-2 days at the end.

Might be possible for you?
 
2020-08-11 9:48:16 AM  
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2020-08-11 9:48:17 AM  
Take the walls off and shait in the great outdoors.   Cuts down on the smell and gives the neighbors something to talk about.
 
2020-08-11 9:48:27 AM  
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2020-08-11 9:53:48 AM  
Be glad it's not wintertime.  After we took out the outhouse, we had to use the barn. At least it was insulated.

And then I walked uphill to school both ways
 
2020-08-11 9:54:28 AM  
Humblebrag about your new bathroom on FARK, that should help.  Hey, at least you're keeping local tradesmen employed.  Discuss how you're a pillar of the community.  Downplay it all by posting #firstworldproblems

That's what I'd do.
 
2020-08-11 9:56:24 AM  
Uhhh...wireless boom box and boss mix tape? Scented toilet paper? Reenact the latrine scene from Schindler's List?
 
2020-08-11 9:56:55 AM  
How about being appreciative that you have a port o potty and don't crap in an ally like a homeless person has to. Farking whiner.
 
2020-08-11 10:06:17 AM  
You're doing it wrong, you need put a bathroom in the basement first. That way you can use the basement bathroom during the upstairs remodel. Call the contractor and inform him of the change sooner rather than later.  Even though they're both bathrooms, different parts may be needed.
 
2020-08-11 10:10:06 AM  
Get two, and rent one out as an AirBnB
 
2020-08-11 10:12:13 AM  
Blumpkins.
 
2020-08-11 10:13:24 AM  
You super-soft citiots & your indoor privies, I tell ya!

*stomps Canuckishly into the forest whilst whistling BTO's 'Taking Care of Business'*
 
2020-08-11 10:14:27 AM  
cdn10.bigcommerce.comView Full Size
 
2020-08-11 10:15:02 AM  
i shiat in the shower and heel it down the drain.
 
2020-08-11 10:15:05 AM  
There was a whole episode of King of the Hill about this. Sprucing up a porta potty. Go watch it.
 
2020-08-11 10:15:12 AM  

BenSaw2: Shiat in the kitchen sink.

When I did mine, (there was another downstairs, so no biggie), the toilet actually stayed in place for the duration, minus the tiling, which was only 1-2 days at the end.

Might be possible for you?


Yeah, this. plus it takes only a few minutes to temporarily install a toilet, so if there is work that it gets in the way of it can be moved for the day and put back in the evening. Tiling is probably the only thing that you need to have it out for more than a day.
 
2020-08-11 10:16:04 AM  
You have a ready-made, sanitary, enclosed modern outhouse in your backyard, and youre biatching about it?

Fark.  Whats the matter, cant you get by without your bidet?
 
2020-08-11 10:21:15 AM  
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2020-08-11 10:23:50 AM  
Get the ADA porta potty, then you have some room to hang your stash of TP.
 
2020-08-11 10:24:34 AM  
We had our entire house redone and we lived in it most of the time except a few days when the sheet rock was down and my wife realized you could see from the bedroom to the toilet.  We talked to the builder and we went to a hotel so he could focus on not worrying about us for a few days.  We were much younger then so it didn't bother us that much.
 
2020-08-11 10:26:06 AM  
I remember the summer I spent in a cabin that had a wooden outhouse out back. The best way to reduce the crappiness of the experience was to use a lot of quicklime. Kept down the foul smell and the sense that you weren't the only one in there.

I don't know what the equivalent would be for a modern facility.

Tangent.

If you've never seen the wonderful thriller Headhunters (2011), now would be optimum.
 
2020-08-11 10:31:47 AM  

oldfarthenry: super-soft citiots


I read that very wrong, way too many times.
 
2020-08-11 10:33:53 AM  

yakmans_dad: I remember the summer I spent in a cabin that had a wooden outhouse out back. The best way to reduce the crappiness of the experience was to use a lot of quicklime. Kept down the foul smell and the sense that you weren't the only one in there.


Best advice thus far.  A bag of lime is nothing.  Drop your load then scoop a garden shovel full of lime in.  This is, of course, it's not a plastic port-a-can filled with that blue water.

Another good thing about the lime, with respect to outhouses, is that when it comes time to dig it out, the lime has turned everything to "dirt"....providing you wait a little bit between going and digging.
 
2020-08-11 10:36:02 AM  
Lots and lots of deodorant and lime (not the citrus type)
 
2020-08-11 10:36:18 AM  
GC here, i do kitchens and bathrooms.  Best advice I can give is that if you can afford it, move out for the duration of the project.  Between constant flow of people, dust, noise, materials and tools eating into any livable space, you'll be glad you did.  That also gives you the opportunity to get a cleaning crew in afterwards to do a top-to-bottom deep clean.  Otherwise, you will find dust everywhere for YEARS.

Protip: If your contractor asks you about a finish detail, don't say 'just do whatever'.  It will in all likelihood be the fastest/cheapest method and probably not what you would have wanted.  You are being asked for a reason.
 
2020-08-11 10:39:45 AM  
Pipe in some music but turn up the bass and dump the treble so it feels like you're at a festival.
 
2020-08-11 10:47:33 AM  
crap on the neighbour's lawn.
blame irresponsible dog owners.
 
2020-08-11 10:50:10 AM  
If the porta potty is not.in a shaded location, get a cheapish popup awning and put over it (staked out with good rope to keep it stable in winds), or if it is near trees, a tarp tied off to shade it and sloped to allow water to run away from it.

If they haven't placed it yet, get a good, sturdy pallet to get it up off the ground.

Strap and stake the potty, too.

The pallet will keep you out of water if it rains, and the tarp or awning will keep the thing from becoming a hotbox in the sun.
 
2020-08-11 10:57:45 AM  
You can rent a fairly luxurious pot-o-potty. My cousin has a pig roast every year gets them. No stink and a sink inside with running water (you hook your garden hose to it) to wash your hands.
 
2020-08-11 10:58:30 AM  
Port not pot. You can't rent pot.
 
2020-08-11 10:59:28 AM  

technomuse: Fark user imageView Full Size


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2020-08-11 11:02:11 AM  
Week's supply of Immodium
 
2020-08-11 11:02:42 AM  

Thank You Black Jesus!: Best advice I can give is that if you can afford it, move out for the duration of the project.


I'd suspect that someone who can afford to do a bathroom renovation during a pandemic can also afford a short-term rental.
 
2020-08-11 11:05:21 AM  
Don't do it in the dead of summer.

oops.
 
2020-08-11 11:17:50 AM  

Yellow Beard: You can rent a fairly luxurious pot-o-potty. My cousin has a pig roast every year gets them. No stink and a sink inside with running water (you hook your garden hose to it) to wash your hands.


Even better; the good ones need a 120v AC drop cord, because they are air conditioned.
 
2020-08-11 11:32:06 AM  
If you have kids or immature friends, don't tell them about the time you and your friends tied a length of rope all the way around the outhouse so your other friend couldn't open the door from the inside and started rocking the thing back and forth.  That might imply your endorsement of that kind of juvenile prank, and I'm sure that's not true.
 
2020-08-11 11:34:58 AM  
God, I hope this is the thread where that farker posts pictures of his McMansion again.
 
2020-08-11 11:34:59 AM  

MissFeasance: Be glad it's not wintertime.  After we took out the outhouse, we had to use the barn. At least it was insulated.

And then I walked uphill to school both ways


Dad grew up in the rural midwest without indoor plumbing.  He said some winter nights you'd have to think long and hard about whether you needed to go out or could "hold it".
 
2020-08-11 11:35:56 AM  
How long is your bathroom going to be down? A contractor should be able to change a tub/shower, flooring, vanity, plumbing, and wiring in three days or less unless there are major issues like structural problems to address. Yes, port-a-johns are terrible but it should arrive clean and empty and shouldn't get that bad unless you invite the local IBS support group over for tacos, coffee, and ice cream.
 
2020-08-11 11:41:59 AM  
Just have fun with it, turn it into a carnival ride.

Might not be safe for lunch..

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-08-11 11:47:04 AM  

some_beer_drinker: i shiat in the shower and heel it down the drain.


That's called "waffle stomping".
 
2020-08-11 11:51:46 AM  

FarkingSmurf: Just have fun with it, turn it into a carnival ride.

Might not be safe for lunch..

[Fark user image 355x200] [View Full Size image _x_]


that looks fun.
 
2020-08-11 11:58:47 AM  

Tyrosine: How long is your bathroom going to be down? A contractor should be able to change a tub/shower, flooring, vanity, plumbing, and wiring in three days or less unless there are major issues like structural problems to address.


you watch too much hgtv.

/shiplap!
 
2020-08-11 12:01:17 PM  
MissFeasance

Be glad it's not wintertime. .


Yep. A friends cabin during the winter the outhouse is all we had.
At -20 there is not hesitation.
 
2020-08-11 12:25:12 PM  

Billy Liar: Dad grew up in the rural midwest without indoor plumbing.  He said some winter nights you'd have to think long and hard about whether you needed to go out or could "hold it".


A lot of average people i met in alaska had outhouses.  With the permafrost, it was just too hard and expensive to have regular plumbing.

And on those cold days, don't forget just peeing in a bucket and throwing it out later.
 
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