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(Slate)   "My son's friend and family fed my son Indian food without asking me first. Am I right to be outraged?"   (slate.com) divider line
    More: Awkward, Q. Name game, Q. Voice frustration, official name change approval, great time, medical issue, Chris's best friend, shares techniques, robust history of give  
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999 clicks; posted to Discussion » on 11 Aug 2020 at 9:05 AM (15 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



Voting Results (Smartest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

 
2020-08-11 8:31:24 AM  
44 votes:
Indian food is awesome.  STFU and try some.
 
2020-08-11 8:39:24 AM  
33 votes:
FTFA: There's something so grotesque about the infantilizing language of "gently informing someone"-especially when that someone is "two doctors"-about "small tummies,"

That is one sick burn from prudence this week.
 
2020-08-11 9:04:27 AM  
32 votes:
In India it's just called food.
 
2020-08-11 8:30:15 AM  
32 votes:
Who gets outraged at food choices?
 
2020-08-11 8:30:42 AM  
31 votes:
Unless he has known allergies...STFU. He'll decide if he likes it, hates it, or it didn't sit well in his system. Hey, he might introduce it to you.
 
2020-08-11 9:09:26 AM  
24 votes:
This is the parent that lets their kid only eat chicken nuggets.
 
2020-08-11 9:06:17 AM  
23 votes:
Give him some butter chicken, kashmiri naan, and a Mango Lassi and that kid will want to eat indian food every day of the week.
 
2020-08-11 9:49:45 AM  
16 votes:

cameroncrazy1984: Who gets outraged at food choices?


Racists.
 
2020-08-11 9:28:50 AM  
14 votes:

Raug the Dwarf: The parent should be happy the kid ate it, period.

My boys will eat just about anything you put in front of them and love trying new ethnic dishes. Their friends are hit or miss.  Some like eating at our house cause we always eat "weird stuff." Some, we heat up chicken nuggets for


Your nine year old ate lentils and liked them. That's a huge food win.
 
2020-08-11 11:15:45 AM  
11 votes:
Neil's mom recounted to me how much chicken curry and lentils and vegetables Chris ate.

Your kid ate food with some actual flavor and liked it better than whatever bland boring crap you feed him
 
2020-08-11 9:11:45 AM  
11 votes:
Over a billion people have grown up eating Indian food and survived.
 
2020-08-11 12:11:18 PM  
9 votes:

BretMavrik: It's hard for a lot of people to understand why, back in the day, something as seemingly mundane as spices caused wars and kicked off the Age of Exploration (and, inadvertently, colonization). But when all you've had to eat for the last 900 years has been beets and boiled boar, you'd be willing to go to war over a bag of nutmeg too.


"Back in the day"?!

My grandparents were off-the-boat Norwegians. My childhood in the 1980s was cabbage, potatoes and cod boiled together. If we really let our hair down it was lutefisk on early Sunday afternoons (for supper)

And you're goddamn right I'll murder for some paneer tikka masala
 
2020-08-11 10:57:26 AM  
9 votes:
1. The notion that kids can't handle spicy food is utter crap. Every Indian parent I've ever known has fed their kids food that by North American standards is highly spicy without issue. In fact I'm pretty certain that 99.99999% of the population of India grew up on spicy food.

2. Did the kid like it? If so, what's the GD problem?
 
2020-08-11 9:43:01 AM  
9 votes:
The Indian and Chinese population in our area is so high that there are four Asian markets within a three-mile radius. The "regular" supermarkets all have large Asian food sections, and even the nearby Costco has two aisles dedicated to things like ghee, lentils, seaweed snacks, four kinds of rice and six kinds of noodles.

It's wonderful.
 
2020-08-11 9:41:19 AM  
9 votes:
Many years back when #1 son was about 2 we got invited over to a visiting professor's house.  She was from India and made up a traditional meal for us, but it was her first time trying to feed traditional Indian food to a little American kid and she was a bit nervous he might not like it since the spices were unusual for Westerners.

#1 son looks over the plate, picks up a little piece of something and puts it in his mouth.  Chews about twice, and gets this big smile on his face.  Sat there happily jamming whatever it was (i forget) into his mouth for the next ten minutes until he couldn't eat any more.

Smart kid- the food was excellent.

/Sushi didn't go as well
//#2 son happily chowed down on Thai fried rice from a local place that made it hot enough even people who like hot food like me had trouble with it.
 
2020-08-11 9:25:25 AM  
9 votes:
The parent should be happy the kid ate it, period.

My boys will eat just about anything you put in front of them and love trying new ethnic dishes. Their friends are hit or miss.  Some like eating at our house cause we always eat "weird stuff." Some, we heat up chicken nuggets for
 
2020-08-11 9:24:31 AM  
9 votes:

cameroncrazy1984: Who gets outraged at food choices?


When I was a kid I was incredulous that people get outraged at hair styles, but that still comes up a lot even in the 21st Century.

We are some truly neurotic apes.
 
2020-08-11 9:17:04 AM  
9 votes:

Byno: Sounds like mom needs a dosa STFU. amirite?


Nope....it's the dad who needs that dose.
 
2020-08-11 8:31:55 AM  
9 votes:
No Vindaloo for you, asshole.
 
2020-08-11 10:32:39 AM  
7 votes:
I would love it if this happened since it would give me an excuse to take the kids out to Indian food all the time. Never heard of spicy hurting little tummies either, millions of kids in the Southwest get by just fine, not to mention the billions around the world who grew up without the convenience of frozen nuggets for 3 meals a day.
 
2020-08-11 9:52:43 AM  
7 votes:

Irving Maimway: Raug the Dwarf: The parent should be happy the kid ate it, period.

My boys will eat just about anything you put in front of them and love trying new ethnic dishes. Their friends are hit or miss.  Some like eating at our house cause we always eat "weird stuff." Some, we heat up chicken nuggets for

Your nine year old ate lentils and liked them. That's a huge food win.


Thing One is single-handedly keeping these guys in business. I just picked up two more boxes for him yesterday.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-08-11 9:00:26 AM  
7 votes:

cameroncrazy1984: Who gets outraged at food choices?


vegans. mostly.
Vegans named Karen are to be avoided especially.
 
2020-08-11 1:22:45 PM  
6 votes:
That's a pretty awesome kid. Over at a friend's house and is offered strange food and scarfs it down. The kid's parents are now terrified that they can't just cycle between pizza, chicken tenders, and mac&cheese every night for dinner. They will have to, gasp, cook something interesting because apparently they have inadvertently raised a kid with a broader palette than theirs.
 
2020-08-11 10:18:59 AM  
6 votes:
What grown man uses the term "small tummies" when talking with other adults?

Great, now I'm hungry for Indian and with 10s of thousands of students pouring into town going near the strip of ethnic restaurants near campus would be unwise.

If this guy isn't fake, this would be one of the very rare instances where I would understand if the wife had an affair, not approve necessarily but fully understand.
 
2020-08-11 11:33:56 AM  
5 votes:

Everything is Awful: Neil's mom recounted to me how much chicken curry and lentils and vegetables Chris ate.

Your kid ate food with some actual flavor and liked it better than whatever bland boring crap you feed him


It's hard for a lot of people to understand why, back in the day, something as seemingly mundane as spices caused wars and kicked off the Age of Exploration (and, inadvertently, colonization). But when all you've had to eat for the last 900 years has been beets and boiled boar, you'd be willing to go to war over a bag of nutmeg too.
 
2020-08-11 11:19:45 AM  
5 votes:
yes get outraged and make sure you tell this story, first thing, to everyone you meet so that if i ever meet you i'll know to peace out ASAP and purge the interaction from memory.
 
2020-08-11 10:44:06 AM  
5 votes:

Otera: What sort of white bread, mac and cheese, soggy chicken nugget picky eater is the parent to be UPSET that their child TRIED FOOD THEY HAD NEVER SEEN BEFORE???

It does line up with my generation though, and I do see peers who can only find something to eat on the farking kid menu....


Latchkey kids who grew up eating microwave popcorn, TV dinners and Dominos aren't going to have wide palettes. One of my friends and his wife are about as white bread as you can get, and their kids haven't tried anything. They think Panda Express is exotic. When some of my colleagues travel to Asia with me, they'll bring stuff like Power Bars because they're afraid of the breakfast buffet at the hotel in Samarinda. "Hey, guess what... not everyone in the world chows down on Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs every morning. Besides, Padang food is awesome. And there are like nineteen things to choose from; surely you can find *one* thing."

We were lucky in that our stepmom liked to experiment. She'd make Mexican dishes, Southern dishes (her chicken gumbo is great)... whatever she could get ingredients for in our podunk town. And since we didn't have the money for processed snacks, dinners, etc. we never got hooked on that stuff.

Between that and all of my travel and living in Asia, we make a point to introduce the kids to as much as possible. The Portland area has a wide range of options; last week we did German, this week will be Burmese (I'm jonesing for some tea leaf salad). I could go for some tuna sashimi as well, but it's crazy expensive here. I get spoiled when I go to Palau or Pohnpei and can get a plate of a dozen thick slices for $7. And my wife likes to experiment as well; after our years in Hong Kong, she's gotten pretty good at ma po tofu, drunken noodles, etc.

So whether they love it or hate it, someday our kids will emerge into the world at least experiencing a few things.
 
2020-08-11 9:20:53 AM  
5 votes:
You do know that mild curries are gateway foods.
 
2020-08-11 9:10:01 AM  
5 votes:
1st world problems.
 
2020-08-11 9:01:44 AM  
5 votes:
Yes, I'd be pissed. For not inviting me!
 
2020-08-11 5:44:54 PM  
4 votes:
When I was young my mom was the at-home mom, and as such, my family's house became the local gathering ground for all the latchkey kids.

Now my mom doesn't cook extremely weird things, generally. I cook weirder and more cultural food than she does and regularly baffle her. But she doesn't shy away from ethnic spice mixes and so on.

She also doesn't suffer children refusing to eat because of what she cooked that day. It's what she cooked. Eat it or starve, sorry, neighbor latchkey kids. This turned into a weird thing with some neighbors saying shiat like look, just feed the kid chicken nuggets and my mom, being merciless, going look, come home and feed your kids. It's that or your kids eat what I cook. Deal with it.

THAT said, she was also the first to put giant allergen warnings on anything she cooked if she felt it necessary. She damn near took out a kid in my first grade class because she made cookies with cashews in them. Lesson learned.

/css
/who the hell is mad because their kid ate actual good food, like, for real?
//my mom making turkey pasties, which are a gift from the gods, and the neighbor kids melting down about it
 
2020-08-11 11:23:19 AM  
4 votes:
ftfa: '...When we came to pick up our son, Neil's (Indian) mom recounted to me how much chicken curry & vegetables my son ate. I couldn't believe that they served my son spicy curries without even calling!  I was taken aback and gently mentioned that spicy foods can be hard on small tummies, but it didn't seem to register. Thankfully my son Chris didn't get sick. My wife says to drop it'

Thinking that hubby is trying to make his son into a picky eater too...
 
2020-08-11 10:35:28 AM  
4 votes:

MusicMakeMyHeadPound: cameroncrazy1984: Who gets outraged at food choices?

When I was a kid I was incredulous that people get outraged at hair styles, but that still comes up a lot even in the 21st Century.

We are some truly neurotic apes.


The immature and arrogant elitism over aesthetic trivialities is not one of humanity's strong selling points.
 
2020-08-11 10:08:55 AM  
4 votes:
What sort of white bread, mac and cheese, soggy chicken nugget picky eater is the parent to be UPSET that their child TRIED FOOD THEY HAD NEVER SEEN BEFORE???

It does line up with my generation though, and I do see peers who can only find something to eat on the farking kid menu....
 
2020-08-11 8:43:48 AM  
4 votes:

Ambivalence: FTFA: There's something so grotesque about the infantilizing language of "gently informing someone"-especially when that someone is "two doctors"-about "small tummies,"

That is one sick burn from prudence this week.


Meh.  Doesn't count.  Prudie knew she was taking the bait, and took it anyway, just so she could use that line.
 
2020-08-11 8:28:38 AM  
4 votes:
"My son's friend and family fed my son Indian food without asking me first. Am I right to be outraged?"

Guess they made a mistake trying to curry favor with you.
 
2020-08-11 1:08:21 PM  
3 votes:
So much stupid here and nothing at all to be outraged about.

1. Parents of the best friend are both born and raised in India, what did you think their preferred cuisine for home dining was going to be?

2. Parents of best friend are also both doctors and would be aware of any potential risks in what food they serve their son and in this case his friend.

3. Curry does not need to be blow your mind hot it can be tempered for personal preference like virtually any other spicy food.

4. I'm betting the parents of the kid in question did not bring up any dietary issues the boy may have or their concerns about what he is allowed to eat.  other as doctors i am sure  they would have taken them into consideration.

Short version : Uptight parents are unjustly outraged that those people fed their son indian food rather than local cuisine.

My response let it go entirely no harm no foul and maybe broaden your own horizons.
 
2020-08-11 12:50:45 PM  
3 votes:

Marcus Aurelius: No Vindaloo for you, asshole.


The kid just wanted something to do.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-08-11 11:51:54 AM  
3 votes:
Lucky kids.
I haven't had real Indian cuisine since March.

Dammit.
 
2020-08-11 9:47:38 AM  
3 votes:

tonguedepressor: Wait...dot or feather?


Who cares? Fry bread is the best
 
2020-08-11 9:42:59 AM  
3 votes:
Well, I know what I'm having for lunch.
 
2020-08-11 8:10:19 PM  
2 votes:

silvervial: I would love to try Indian food. I love naan bread, because that's about the only Indian thing I can get at the market.

I have never seen or heard about an Indian restaurant anywhere within 30 miles of me :(

Not that I'm ever going to a restaurant again, that's never happening, but we might someday (hasn't happened yet) get some take-out food and I would really love it if there was some Indian place within 50 miles at least.

We have never NOT liked any ethnic food we have ever tried, like Japanese, Thai, Vietnamese, etc., there's just never been an opportunity/place to try it


Where do you live, Antarctica?

Go online and find a recipe for Dal Masala - you'll find some that even have links for ordering the harder-to-find ingredients online.  I do recommend you get the exact kind(s) of beans that your chosen recipe specifies, but if the recipe calls for a lot of other stuff you don't already have, pick another recipe.   I wouldn't order a million spices, look for a recipe that calls for a mix you can buy ("garang masala").    It's a pretty simple recipe: you pre-soak the beans, then there's a stir-fry step (mostly to enhance the flavor of the spices) and then a simmering step.
Actual Indian cooks will do it in much, much more complicated and time-consuming ways, the way Italians will have a hundred steps to make a tomato sauce, but you're really not missing all that much.   If you like it, you can always look for a more complicated recipe, with extra spices.  There's asafoetida, for example - smells like armpit at first, adds a kind of undertone to the flavor that you won't notice at all until you get used to all the other new flavors.
Dal Masala is a classic, served in most of India, and popular with Westerners of all ages (if the pepper content is kept low).    Serve with rice (Basmati of course) or naan, or if you're looking for something a bit more interesting, make some Bafla instead - it's a kind of bread that's boiled, then baked, like a bagel.  Easy to cook and doesn't take too long, you can find recipes online.  Tear the bafla with your hands*, use a piece as a shovel to bring the dal to your mouth.

*If in presence of Indians, use only your right hand.  But it sounds like you won't have to worry about that.
 
2020-08-11 12:16:14 PM  
2 votes:
Just ate lunch, I made a big bowl of Nepalese Curry yesterday.  I made the recipe my own.  My favorite fresh veggies, and lots of them.  Cauliflower, broccoli, carrots, Scotch Bonnet peppers, Cayenne peppers, green beans and small zucchini.  A bit of chicken breast as well.  I use far more ground mustard, garlic and ginger than the recipe calls for.  A bit less tomato base.  Added some fish sauce, and peanut butter as well.

I'll make about six meals from it.  Will serve over short grained brown rice, over noodles, over farro, or with homemade naan bread. and will make some soup out of it as well.  The more delicate veggies were barely cooked so they don't turn to mush.  Lot's of flavor, healthy and versatile.

Secret ingredient:  Patek's Hot Lime Relish on some naan bread.  (I blend it to make it less chunky)  I also keep some pita bread frozen if I don't feel like making naan fresh.
 
2020-08-11 9:46:30 AM  
2 votes:

gilgigamesh: Well, I know what I'm having for lunch.


You're getting that chicken sandwich from Popeye's, aren't you?
 
2020-08-11 9:30:43 AM  
2 votes:
Voice frustration: ...

Well, your partner is probably very tired of you droning on & on & never really getting to the point so it all balances out & you're perfect for each other...
 
2020-08-11 9:07:12 AM  
2 votes:
Only if he crop-dusted the SUV on the ride home, Karen.
 
2020-08-11 9:01:40 AM  
2 votes:
Wait...dot or feather?
 
2020-08-11 8:58:12 AM  
2 votes:
Sounds like mom needs a dosa STFU. amirite?
 
2020-08-11 8:40:42 AM  
2 votes:
Just get your own!
 
2020-08-11 8:17:46 PM  
1 vote:

silvervial: I would love to try Indian food. I love naan bread, because that's about the only Indian thing I can get at the market.

I have never seen or heard about an Indian restaurant anywhere within 30 miles of me :(

Not that I'm ever going to a restaurant again, that's never happening, but we might someday (hasn't happened yet) get some take-out food and I would really love it if there was some Indian place within 50 miles at least.

We have never NOT liked any ethnic food we have ever tried, like Japanese, Thai, Vietnamese, etc., there's just never been an opportunity/place to try it


Here's a crockpot recipe for chicken tikka masala that I think is pretty decent:

https://www.tablefortwoblog.com/chick​e​n-tikka-masala-crockpot/
 
2020-08-11 6:38:59 PM  
1 vote:

Ringshadow: When I was young my mom was the at-home mom, and as such, my family's house became the local gathering ground for all the latchkey kids.

Now my mom doesn't cook extremely weird things, generally. I cook weirder and more cultural food than she does and regularly baffle her. But she doesn't shy away from ethnic spice mixes and so on.

She also doesn't suffer children refusing to eat because of what she cooked that day. It's what she cooked. Eat it or starve, sorry, neighbor latchkey kids. This turned into a weird thing with some neighbors saying shiat like look, just feed the kid chicken nuggets and my mom, being merciless, going look, come home and feed your kids. It's that or your kids eat what I cook. Deal with it.

THAT said, she was also the first to put giant allergen warnings on anything she cooked if she felt it necessary. She damn near took out a kid in my first grade class because she made cookies with cashews in them. Lesson learned.

/css
/who the hell is mad because their kid ate actual good food, like, for real?
//my mom making turkey pasties, which are a gift from the gods, and the neighbor kids melting down about it


That's like my mom when I was growing up. She was at home until I was about 11, and was always a spectacular cook. Kids begged me to let them come over for dinner or sleep over so they could eat my mom's food. I was happy to do so, because I did not like most of the cooking of my friend's mothers. They had nowhere near the ability of my mother. My mom even made real food for my "tea parties" when I was a kid. I did not appreciate her enough while she was alive. She died 35 years ago, very young, and I still miss her.
 
2020-08-11 2:59:49 PM  
1 vote:

Sin'sHero: Brandi Morgan: My Indian Food CSB:

When I was in the navy, my ship did a port visit in Singapore, myself and two of my friends wound up in an Indian restaurant for lunch.  It was a set menu, so we didn't exactly know what we were ordering.

Of the various dishes they brought out, one was a white lump in this yellow stuff.  All through lunch everybody was eyeing it, but nobody wanted to try it.  Eventually, I thought 'why not,' so I tried it.

Right after I ate it, both friends asked, "What was that?"

"It was a potato," I said.

"What was that yellow stuff?"

Butter.

Bottom line, because it was in an Indian restaurant - three Americans were afraid to eat a potato.

Once you clarified the ingredients, did your shipmates eat it with ghlee?


HI-YO!

media.tenor.coView Full Size
 
2020-08-11 12:02:19 PM  
1 vote:
1) I Could Murder A Curry: STFU and GTHOI.

2) He Wants His Home And Security.  He Wants To Live Like A Sailor At Sea: It's not like it's an unethical job, like say telemarketer.  Treat it like anyone else you might date who's a freelancer.  GTHOI or DTMFA.

3) The Couldn't Shut Up.  So I Hung Up: While I can't dismiss there being some actual vocal damage on your partner, I mostly think it's in your head.  I think you just want an excuse to DTMFA without guilt.

4) Grapefruit Diet!  Throw Out The Pizza And Beer: I know it's difficult to stay on task when losing weight, but having a nag will only produce resentment long term.  Best bet is to reduce temptation by keeping certain foods away.  Your partner should also make sure their thyroid activity has been checked.  That was a huge find for me.

5) I'm Just A Sucker With Low Self-Esteem: I don't see how you have any obligation to this person. Tell them to STFU and MYOB.

6) No Jokes, No Rights, Sit Tight, Don't Fool Around: There's no need to consult an advice columnist here.  If you are friends, you can bring this up.

7) I Leave My Entire Estate...To The People Of Calgary So The Can Afford To Move Somewhere Decent: The great thing is you can change it and not tell anyone other than the people involved in the legal process.  You won't be around to hear the complaints.  No one is entitled to your things, alive or dead, they are yours to distribute as you see fit.

8) Jon Jacob Jingleheimer-Schmidt: I had thought triple hyphenated last names were banned under the Geneva Convention, specifically as a war crime.  Anyway, you have a chance to end this atrocity.  Take it.

9) Murder A Curry II: Right, STFU and GTHOI.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-08-11 11:37:29 AM  
1 vote:

TheGreatGazoo: Over a billion people have grown up eating Indian food and survived.


Yes, but compare that to the number of people that grew up eating Indian food and are now dead!
 
2020-08-11 11:26:59 AM  
1 vote:

Sin'sHero: Wait, Aryan food isn't good enough, anymore?


When was it ever?
 
2020-08-11 11:01:29 AM  
1 vote:
Wait, Aryan food isn't good enough, anymore?
 
2020-08-11 10:52:59 AM  
1 vote:

Dead for Tax Reasons: BretMavrik: Irving Maimway: Raug the Dwarf: The parent should be happy the kid ate it, period.

My boys will eat just about anything you put in front of them and love trying new ethnic dishes. Their friends are hit or miss.  Some like eating at our house cause we always eat "weird stuff." Some, we heat up chicken nuggets for

Your nine year old ate lentils and liked them. That's a huge food win.

Thing One is single-handedly keeping these guys in business. I just picked up two more boxes for him yesterday.

[Fark user image 310x375]

tasty bite is kinda meh to me.  costco had a different brand for like a month which i liked way more, but of course it disappeared.  bought those after a long time of avoiding them, thinking they couldn't be as meh as i remebered, but nope, still meh


Yeah they're not the best (they're a bit on the salty side for me), but we ended up getting them so he could pack them in his lunch and he got hooked on them. My wife's lentil dishes are better, but when a kid is voluntarily asking to eat some sort of vegetable you don't quibble too much over the delivery method.
 
2020-08-11 10:20:11 AM  
1 vote:
I am horrified that in my childhood someone gave me Kraft Dinner, and then had the gall to add hot dogs and ketchup.
Their mind control made me want to have it all the time.
 
2020-08-11 10:04:57 AM  
1 vote:

BretMavrik: Irving Maimway: Raug the Dwarf: The parent should be happy the kid ate it, period.

My boys will eat just about anything you put in front of them and love trying new ethnic dishes. Their friends are hit or miss.  Some like eating at our house cause we always eat "weird stuff." Some, we heat up chicken nuggets for

Your nine year old ate lentils and liked them. That's a huge food win.

Thing One is single-handedly keeping these guys in business. I just picked up two more boxes for him yesterday.

[Fark user image image 310x375]


Mmmmm.... Gotta remind hubby to look for that when he's next at Costco
 
2020-08-11 9:39:41 AM  
1 vote:
"they should know we've raised him on a strict diet of miracle whip on wonder bread his whole life!"
 
2020-08-11 9:18:19 AM  
1 vote:

EasilyDistracted: Byno: Sounds like mom needs a dosa STFU. amirite?

Nope....it's the dad who needs that dose.


On the other hand I could be wrong...it might have been the mom if it was a two-mom family unit.
 
2020-08-11 9:11:34 AM  
1 vote:
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
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