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(CNN Philippines)   When talking about Covid19 WHO official says "we can outsmart the virus". Difficulty: Half of Americans can't outsmart themselves out of a wet paper bag let alone follow simple safety guidelines   (cnnphilippines.com) divider line
    More: Unlikely, World Health Organization, Infection, Individual, Virus, Individual rights, AIDS, Dr. Mike Ryan, Maria Van Kerkhove  
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1014 clicks; posted to Main » on 10 Aug 2020 at 2:35 PM (11 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



46 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2020-08-10 2:11:22 PM  
It's not even a living organism and it outsmarted Trump.
 
2020-08-10 2:38:08 PM  
We have the biggest educated people.  The best.  People tell me all the times, lots of people. Lots of education in the US.
 
2020-08-10 2:39:31 PM  
No. No we cannot.
USA Americans need maps and flashlights to find their anuses.
 
2020-08-10 2:41:03 PM  
Just tell us to do the exact opposite of what we should be doing. For example, tell people that they have to go out and socialize and not wear masks. The smart people who get it will ignore the order and stay home and wear masks, but all the COVIDiots will be like, "You can't tell me what to do! I have my rights! I am going to stay home and wear a mask!" Sure, some people will follow the new directive, but the number that do will be a hell of a lot less than the number of COVIDiots who will do the exact opposite.

:-D
 
2020-08-10 2:42:19 PM  
A coronavirus doesn't have a brain. A human is therefore infinitely more intelligent and therefore infinitely more capable.

If we use that capability to combat coronavirus, we can't lose. If we instead use that capability to combat the other humans combating the virus, we can't win.

It's pretty obvious which tack a large number of Americans have chosen to take...
 
2020-08-10 2:43:06 PM  

HotIgneous Intruder: No. No we cannot.
USA Americans need maps and flashlights to find their anuses.


Can is a very fungible word.

I CAN rent a luxury jet and fly around the world.

Is it likely? No. is it feasible? No. Will I be ruined doing it? Yes.

So we CAN do it, we just won't succeed.
 
2020-08-10 2:46:17 PM  
Every traditional philosophy which relies on 'rational self-interest' is no longer valid in America, since now a third or so of Americans only act in irrational self-destruction.

That's why you find rednecks in trailers living off disability, who are absolutely adamant that the estate tax be entirely repealed. It's why you see poor people voting against any taxation of billionaires and against any kind of universal health system.

It's opposite world.
 
2020-08-10 2:46:46 PM  

SVC_conservative: HotIgneous Intruder: No. No we cannot.
USA Americans need maps and flashlights to find their anuses.

Can is a very fungible word.

I CAN rent a luxury jet and fly around the world.

Is it likely? No. is it feasible? No. Will I be ruined doing it? Yes.

So we CAN do it, we just won't succeed.


Way to humblebrag.

/still, I'm impressed
 
2020-08-10 2:47:55 PM  
This is like saying we can outsmart an F5 tornado.
 
2020-08-10 2:52:39 PM  
As a sovereign citizen, I do not recognize the authority of the Corona virus, and will therefore not be wearing a mask. Now excuse me, I'm off to Golden Corral.
 
2020-08-10 2:53:23 PM  

Raoul Eaton: This is like saying we can outsmart an F5 tornado.


If you can't figure out to head away from an F5 tornado......... I'm just saying...
 
2020-08-10 2:54:00 PM  

Resident Muslim: SVC_conservative: HotIgneous Intruder: No. No we cannot.
USA Americans need maps and flashlights to find their anuses.

Can is a very fungible word.

I CAN rent a luxury jet and fly around the world.

Is it likely? No. is it feasible? No. Will I be ruined doing it? Yes.

So we CAN do it, we just won't succeed.

Way to humblebrag.

/still, I'm impressed


I've had a bad day, the sale of my old home just abruptly terminated due to my HOA, so fleeing the country is top on my mind right now instead of paying 2 mortgages.
 
2020-08-10 2:54:13 PM  
Hey now they were smart enough to know that being told to wear a mask is fascism and it's their right to infect people.
 
2020-08-10 2:54:45 PM  
Can't.  We're too busy checkmating libs!!!
 
2020-08-10 2:54:47 PM  

Subtonic: As a sovereign citizen, I do not recognize the authority of the Corona virus, and will therefore not be wearing a mask. Now excuse me, I'm off to Golden Corral.


I loved Golden Corral as a kid.

When I had kids, I took them to Golden Corral since I remembered liking it at their age.

Seeing it through adult eyes....the people! the things!
 
2020-08-10 2:55:37 PM  

Subtonic: As a sovereign citizen, I do not recognize the authority of the Corona virus, and will therefore not be wearing a mask. Now excuse me, I'm off to Golden Corral.


I dipped my balls in the chocolate fountain so take that as you will.
 
2020-08-10 2:55:38 PM  

Subtonic: As a sovereign citizen, I do not recognize the authority of the Corona virus, and will therefore not be wearing a mask. Now excuse me, I'm off to Golden Corral.


Its the 'Golden Corral' that brought it home.
 
2020-08-10 2:56:48 PM  

Raoul Eaton: This is like saying we can outsmart an F5 tornado.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-08-10 2:58:15 PM  
When we're referring to "most Americans", are we referring to ourselves in a self-depreciating manner or are we just pointing at the others in our nation we don't like?  I only say this because I've always considered myself very smart and really don't think it's fair that I end up getting grouped with the slower idiots whenever people on this site make wide sweeping gestures upon what they think is reality or not.

I mean, if we're laughing at ourselves, sure, go ahead.  If we're laughing with ourselves at other people, then that's just nice at all.
 
2020-08-10 2:59:57 PM  

rjakobi: When we're referring to "most Americans", are we referring to ourselves in a self-depreciating manner or are we just pointing at the others in our nation we don't like?  I only say this because I've always considered myself very smart and really don't think it's fair that I end up getting grouped with the slower idiots whenever people on this site make wide sweeping gestures upon what they think is reality or not.

I mean, if we're laughing at ourselves, sure, go ahead.  If we're laughing with ourselves at other people, then that's just nice at all.


You sound like a typical white person.

/runs
 
2020-08-10 3:00:45 PM  
 YEEEEEEAAAHHHH!
 
2020-08-10 3:01:07 PM  

rjakobi: When we're referring to "most Americans", are we referring to ourselves in a self-depreciating manner or are we just pointing at the others in our nation we don't like?  I only say this because I've always considered myself very smart and really don't think it's fair that I end up getting grouped with the slower idiots whenever people on this site make wide sweeping gestures upon what they think is reality or not.

I mean, if we're laughing at ourselves, sure, go ahead.  If we're laughing with ourselves at other people, then that's just nice at all.


We're not laughing at or with. It's gallows humor. We're sadly accepting the fact that a huge number of us are going to bring the rest of us down with them, as they've been trying to do since the foundation of our country.
 
2020-08-10 3:04:46 PM  
For too long we let the dumb breed.  We need to revive Eugenics.  But we just get rid of the racial part of it.  Instead we collectivise it.  Only let those who have traits we need breed.  Do we need strong workers?  If so have the strongest males all jack off into a giant tank, and then the strongest females take a 100cc random sample from the tank and blast that baby batter up into the baby maker.  Do we need smart people?  Do a similar thing.  Of course our strong worker offspring will need the proper nutrition etc... to become the workers we need, but we collectivise that too.  And our scientist offspring will need the proper education to make sure their genes get maximum effect.  And to make everything more equitable, we can even make sure that the race ratios in each tank are the "correct" ones that will produce equity.  And we make laws that forcibly abort any unauthorized gamete joining.  It isn't a person, just a mass of cells.  Make the gamete joiners eat the mass of cells.

Stupid people problem solved.
 
2020-08-10 3:05:01 PM  

Lord Dimwit: A coronavirus doesn't have a brain. A human is therefore infinitely more intelligent and therefore infinitely more capable.


A virus doesn't have an insatiable need to party or go to the beach though. So there!
 
2020-08-10 3:05:04 PM  
I'd say it's closer to 84% of Americans
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-08-10 3:05:29 PM  

Raoul Eaton: This is like saying we can outsmart an F5 tornado.


Well, this is America.

Fark user imageView Full Size


/Keep your powder dry.
 
2020-08-10 3:05:49 PM  
 Seriously tho, the WHO should adopt that. I doubt Roger Daltrey would complain. Every statement should start with it. "YEEEEEEAAAAHH, now listen up, you rubes."
 
2020-08-10 3:07:28 PM  
Why do we try to turn ailments into sentient villains? My chronic flatulence is a brainless cloud of noxious gas - not some black-garbed nemesis hellbent on power - AND WON'T ANYONE CONSIDER THE FEELS OF WET PAPER BAGS??
 
2020-08-10 3:07:42 PM  

Mugato: It's not even a living organism and it outsmarted Trump.


Memes (not just image macros, all memes like songs, jokes, sayings, cultures, religions...) require a living thing to reproduce (humans copying them by remembering them and telling other humans).

Memes evolve based on a fitness function (popular memes reproduce and spread, unpopular memes fail).

Memes have a non-perfect copying mechanism (humans remember them but human memory is fallible).

Memes mutate based on that imperfect copying mechanism, and successful memes are selected based on a selection function. In other words, they evolve and are selected based on environmental factors.

In other words, memes are about as "alive" as viruses. I always thought that was neat.
 
2020-08-10 3:08:32 PM  

AmbassadorBooze: For too long we let the dumb breed.  We need to revive Eugenics.  But we just get rid of the racial part of it.  Instead we collectivise it.  Only let those who have traits we need breed.  Do we need strong workers?  If so have the strongest males all jack off into a giant tank, and then the strongest females take a 100cc random sample from the tank and blast that baby batter up into the baby maker.  Do we need smart people?  Do a similar thing.  Of course our strong worker offspring will need the proper nutrition etc... to become the workers we need, but we collectivise that too.  And our scientist offspring will need the proper education to make sure their genes get maximum effect.  And to make everything more equitable, we can even make sure that the race ratios in each tank are the "correct" ones that will produce equity.  And we make laws that forcibly abort any unauthorized gamete joining.  It isn't a person, just a mass of cells.  Make the gamete joiners eat the mass of cells.

Stupid people problem solved.


I was wondering how you'd fit cannibalism into that...
 
2020-08-10 3:08:38 PM  

Shaggy_C: Lord Dimwit: A coronavirus doesn't have a brain. A human is therefore infinitely more intelligent and therefore infinitely more capable.

A virus doesn't have an insatiable need to party or go to the beach though. So there!


The most obvious symptom of coronavirus is a heavy desire to attend large gatherings.
 
2020-08-10 3:09:52 PM  

AmbassadorBooze: For too long we let the dumb breed.  We need to revive Eugenics.  But we just get rid of the racial part of it.  Instead we collectivise it.  Only let those who have traits we need breed.  Do we need strong workers?  If so have the strongest males all jack off into a giant tank, and then the strongest females take a 100cc random sample from the tank and blast that baby batter up into the baby maker.  Do we need smart people?  Do a similar thing.  Of course our strong worker offspring will need the proper nutrition etc... to become the workers we need, but we collectivise that too.  And our scientist offspring will need the proper education to make sure their genes get maximum effect.  And to make everything more equitable, we can even make sure that the race ratios in each tank are the "correct" ones that will produce equity.  And we make laws that forcibly abort any unauthorized gamete joining.  It isn't a person, just a mass of cells.  Make the gamete joiners eat the mass of cells.

Stupid people problem solved.


Do you want Khan? Because that's how you get Khan.
 
2020-08-10 3:13:32 PM  

Subtonic: AmbassadorBooze: For too long we let the dumb breed.  We need to revive Eugenics.  But we just get rid of the racial part of it.  Instead we collectivise it.  Only let those who have traits we need breed.  Do we need strong workers?  If so have the strongest males all jack off into a giant tank, and then the strongest females take a 100cc random sample from the tank and blast that baby batter up into the baby maker.  Do we need smart people?  Do a similar thing.  Of course our strong worker offspring will need the proper nutrition etc... to become the workers we need, but we collectivise that too.  And our scientist offspring will need the proper education to make sure their genes get maximum effect.  And to make everything more equitable, we can even make sure that the race ratios in each tank are the "correct" ones that will produce equity.  And we make laws that forcibly abort any unauthorized gamete joining.  It isn't a person, just a mass of cells.  Make the gamete joiners eat the mass of cells.

Stupid people problem solved.

I was wondering how you'd fit cannibalism into that...


Is it cannibalism if it is not a person?  Is it cannibalism if I bite my tounge and some blood gets swallowed?  Or I guess the mass of cells isn't a part of either gamete donator.  So it would be similar to someone swallowing another person's jizz.  Is it cannibalism to swallow the jizz of another person?
 
2020-08-10 3:14:08 PM  

Mugato: AmbassadorBooze: For too long we let the dumb breed.  We need to revive Eugenics.  But we just get rid of the racial part of it.  Instead we collectivise it.  Only let those who have traits we need breed.  Do we need strong workers?  If so have the strongest males all jack off into a giant tank, and then the strongest females take a 100cc random sample from the tank and blast that baby batter up into the baby maker.  Do we need smart people?  Do a similar thing.  Of course our strong worker offspring will need the proper nutrition etc... to become the workers we need, but we collectivise that too.  And our scientist offspring will need the proper education to make sure their genes get maximum effect.  And to make everything more equitable, we can even make sure that the race ratios in each tank are the "correct" ones that will produce equity.  And we make laws that forcibly abort any unauthorized gamete joining.  It isn't a person, just a mass of cells.  Make the gamete joiners eat the mass of cells.

Stupid people problem solved.

Do you want Khan? Because that's how you get Khan.


It solves the stupid people problem.  I would rather we have Khan than Idiocracy.
 
2020-08-10 3:18:00 PM  

AmbassadorBooze: Subtonic: AmbassadorBooze: For too long we let the dumb breed.  We need to revive Eugenics.  But we just get rid of the racial part of it.  Instead we collectivise it.  Only let those who have traits we need breed.  Do we need strong workers?  If so have the strongest males all jack off into a giant tank, and then the strongest females take a 100cc random sample from the tank and blast that baby batter up into the baby maker.  Do we need smart people?  Do a similar thing.  Of course our strong worker offspring will need the proper nutrition etc... to become the workers we need, but we collectivise that too.  And our scientist offspring will need the proper education to make sure their genes get maximum effect.  And to make everything more equitable, we can even make sure that the race ratios in each tank are the "correct" ones that will produce equity.  And we make laws that forcibly abort any unauthorized gamete joining.  It isn't a person, just a mass of cells.  Make the gamete joiners eat the mass of cells.

Stupid people problem solved.

I was wondering how you'd fit cannibalism into that...

Is it cannibalism if it is not a person?  Is it cannibalism if I bite my tounge and some blood gets swallowed?  Or I guess the mass of cells isn't a part of either gamete donator.  So it would be similar to someone swallowing another person's jizz.  Is it cannibalism to swallow the jizz of another person?


You've uh... given me a lot to think about.
 
2020-08-10 3:27:58 PM  
We COULD but...
...we're not going too.

Instead, we will OUTDUMB the virus!
A plan so monumentally stupid, only a great genius could conceive of it!

You see, the virus won't suspect us if we let it multiply and mutate inside of us, then...At just the right moment...We'll all jump inside of ourselves and spray disinfectants everywhere!

That virus won't suspect a thing.
 
2020-08-10 3:32:59 PM  
We're farked.
 
2020-08-10 3:36:09 PM  
I think the old adage applies: A person is smart. People are dumb as shiat, especially if they are 'muricuns.
 
2020-08-10 3:55:53 PM  
The difficulty is not overcoming the virus........


It's overcoming this........


Fark user imageView Full Size


and this.....


Fark user imageView Full Size


and ultimately this....


Fark user imageView Full Size

 
2020-08-10 4:13:15 PM  

menschenfresser: Every traditional philosophy which relies on 'rational self-interest' is no longer valid in America, since now a third or so of Americans only act in irrational self-destruction.

That's why you find rednecks in trailers living off disability, who are absolutely adamant that the estate tax be entirely repealed. It's why you see poor people voting against any taxation of billionaires and against any kind of universal health system.

It's opposite world.


A third of Americans can't tell their ass from a warm rock. They vote the way they are told to, and don't spend any time thinking about what is really going to affect them, or what their own self-interest is.
 
2020-08-10 4:19:11 PM  
I've had a bad day, the sale of my old home just abruptly terminated due to my HOA, so fleeing the country is top on my mind right now instead of paying 2 mortgages.

Curious as to what you mean by this. Are there deed restrictions that the buyer didn't meet?
 
2020-08-10 5:02:19 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-08-10 5:09:21 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-08-10 5:40:45 PM  

GaperKiller: I've had a bad day, the sale of my old home just abruptly terminated due to my HOA, so fleeing the country is top on my mind right now instead of paying 2 mortgages.

Curious as to what you mean by this. Are there deed restrictions that the buyer didn't meet?


No, the inspection revealed a moisture issue due to siding, siding is the responsibility of the HOA, but when confronted on it (all my buyer wanted was a letter saying "it would be fixed" the HOA revealed a multi-unit project was being discussed to repair all siding, likley resulting in special assessments and significant expense. The homeowners still haven't been told about it, I only know because I was trying to sell. Buyers up an ran ASAP, can't say I blame them but it sucks.
 
2020-08-10 6:05:14 PM  
Half of Americans can't outsmart themselves out of a wet paper bag let alone follow simple safety guidelines

The problem is that half of all Americans are of below average intelligence.
 
2020-08-11 12:51:37 PM  

Subtonic: rjakobi: When we're referring to "most Americans", are we referring to ourselves in a self-depreciating manner or are we just pointing at the others in our nation we don't like?  I only say this because I've always considered myself very smart and really don't think it's fair that I end up getting grouped with the slower idiots whenever people on this site make wide sweeping gestures upon what they think is reality or not.

I mean, if we're laughing at ourselves, sure, go ahead.  If we're laughing with ourselves at other people, then that's just nice at all.

You sound like a typical white person.

/runs


I'm not gonna chase you, dude.

I'd run out of breath waddling after you.
 
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