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(Fox News)   (1) Find out when cousin is getting married (2) book wedding for same day (3) attend cousin's reception and take it over   (foxnews.com) divider line
    More: Awkward, Wedding, groom-to-be, wedding reception, frustrated groom-to, future wife's cousin, Reddit users, wedding date, free lunch  
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5115 clicks; posted to Main » on 10 Aug 2020 at 2:20 PM (5 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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2020-08-10 11:56:25 AM  
Dude, it's not too late to avoid marrying into that family. You're making a career decision here.
 
2020-08-10 2:21:28 PM  
It was on reddit, so you know it's true.
 
2020-08-10 2:24:18 PM  
Only two people attend weddings for the actual wedding. It's all about the open bar, meeting singles, open bar and celebrating a wonderful union of two people.
 
2020-08-10 2:24:39 PM  
Never let them into your house.  They will never leave.

Never lend the money.

Never let them borrow anything.

Move far away, and do not tell them where you are going.  Include mutual friends and family in this blackout, if necessary.

Then move again once you realize some of the people you trusted, cannot be trusted.
 
2020-08-10 2:24:57 PM  
Spoiler alert:  it was Arkansas, so there was only ever one wedding to begin with.
 
2020-08-10 2:25:04 PM  
Who is having a wedding reception any time in the next year?!? Are you trying to kill a bunch of people, because that's how you kill a bunch of people!
 
2020-08-10 2:25:16 PM  
Are there any good Fark threads Fox News could write a news article about?
 
2020-08-10 2:26:45 PM  
It's like wedding day on your wedding day.
 
2020-08-10 2:29:15 PM  

edmo: Dude, it's not too late to avoid marrying into that family. You're making a career decision here.


This.

If this is how they treat each other you really need to explore better options.
 
2020-08-10 2:29:28 PM  
Farking #wypipo ...
 
2020-08-10 2:30:23 PM  
I guarantee you everyone in that family is undrndingly awful to each other constantly. This is just the latest atrocity.

You see families like this. They're just addicted to the thrill of hurting each other.
 
2020-08-10 2:31:03 PM  

edmo: Dude, it's not too late to avoid marrying into that family. You're making a career decision here.


My guess is that they are already part of the family.
 
2020-08-10 2:31:59 PM  
You have to admire the bravery of the cousin for poking something more dangerous than a bear - namely a Bridezilla.

/massive set of lady-balls on that one
 
2020-08-10 2:32:17 PM  

LegacyDL: Only two people attend weddings for the actual wedding. It's all about the open bar, meeting singles, open bar and celebrating a wonderful union of two people.


If you do the first right, the second happens later that evening.
 
2020-08-10 2:33:11 PM  

Rapmaster2000: It was on reddit, so you know it's true.


And now it's on Fark, so it's 100% guaranteed to be true.
 
2020-08-10 2:33:25 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
coll
 
2020-08-10 2:34:05 PM  

Atomic Jonb: LegacyDL: Only two people attend weddings for the actual wedding. It's all about the open bar, meeting singles, open bar and celebrating a wonderful union of two people.

If you do the first right, the second happens later that evening.


My favorite thing about main is people explaining the joke.
 
2020-08-10 2:34:24 PM  

LegacyDL: Only two people attend weddings for the actual wedding. It's all about the open bar, meeting singles, open bar and celebrating a wonderful union of two people.


There's also a ton of free booze.
 
2020-08-10 2:35:28 PM  
Beck - Loser
Youtube YgSPaXgAdzE
 
2020-08-10 2:36:02 PM  
And, the last wedding I went to (last weekend, it was small) had a ton of free weed for the guests to partake. Canada is great.
 
2020-08-10 2:37:03 PM  

FarkBucket18: Farking #wypipo ...


Fark user imageView Full Size


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-08-10 2:37:59 PM  
great, so now we are getting new stories out of the failed creative writing excersizes in some subreddits?
 
2020-08-10 2:42:16 PM  

Murflette: Atomic Jonb: LegacyDL: Only two people attend weddings for the actual wedding. It's all about the open bar, meeting singles, open bar and celebrating a wonderful union of two people.

If you do the first right, the second happens later that evening.

My favorite thing about main is people explaining the joke.


TF Supremacist.
 
2020-08-10 2:44:01 PM  

oldfarthenry: You have to admire the bravery of the cousin for poking something more dangerous than a bear - namely a Bridezilla.

/massive set of lady-balls on that one


How to tell it a woman is a Bridezilla:

Jokingly ask the bride-to-be if she will become one.  She will always say no, but her demeanor will let you know:

Woman #1:

She was an OA at a previous job.  When I asked, she became pissed off and menacingly said "I am not a Bridezilla."

Woman #2:

A bartender at my favorite place.  She laughed and said there was no way she would become one.

Obviously, #1 was the Bridezilla.

And with the second woman, I attended their wedding and she was the opposite of a Bridezilla.  Good times.
 
2020-08-10 2:44:55 PM  

SpectroBoy: edmo: Dude, it's not too late to avoid marrying into that family. You're making a career decision here.

This.

If this is how they treat each other you really need to explore better options.


His cousin is a freeloading loser who probably takes from everyone and contributes nothing. Who would want to entertain her nonsense?

FWIW, this sounds like amateur hour. I have an uncle who is a serial killer. He doesn't get invited to anything.
 
2020-08-10 2:45:15 PM  

LegacyDL: Only two people attend weddings for the actual wedding. It's all about the open bar, meeting singles, open bar and celebrating a wonderful union of two people.


I went to a dry wedding once....NEVER AGAIN.
 
2020-08-10 2:46:18 PM  

The_Sponge: LegacyDL: Only two people attend weddings for the actual wedding. It's all about the open bar, meeting singles, open bar and celebrating a wonderful union of two people.

I went to a dry wedding once....NEVER AGAIN.


I don't drink, but... Who does that???
 
2020-08-10 2:48:16 PM  

The_Sponge: LegacyDL: Only two people attend weddings for the actual wedding. It's all about the open bar, meeting singles, open bar and celebrating a wonderful union of two people.

I went to a dry wedding once....NEVER AGAIN.


That's not a wedding, it's a cult initiation.
 
2020-08-10 2:48:50 PM  
O.o What the actual fark ......  Under the circumstances i'd have understood if things got shooty, not approved but i'd have understood why it happened.  Cause that's a straight up classes move regardless of any other factors.
 
2020-08-10 2:49:26 PM  

robodog: Who is having a wedding reception any time in the next year?!? Are you trying to kill a bunch of people, because that's how you kill a bunch of people!


One of my employees is supposed to participate in no less than 3 weddings in the next 2 months. I told her she is insane. She hates her friends at this point and just wants to get on with her school and work.
 
2020-08-10 2:51:23 PM  

aungen: Never let them into your house.  They will never leave.

Never lend the money.

Never let them borrow anything.

Move far away, and do not tell them where you are going.  Include mutual friends and family in this blackout, if necessary.

Then move again once you realize some of the people you trusted, cannot be trusted.


Is this how one ends up at the South Pole?   ;)
 
2020-08-10 2:51:28 PM  

khatores: His cousin is a freeloading loser who probably takes from everyone and contributes nothing. Who would want to entertain her nonsense?

FWIW, this sounds like amateur hour. I have an uncle who is a serial killer. He doesn't get invited to anything.


I guess it's cool that you don't associate with your uncle, the serial killer.
Have you considered dropping a dime on him?
 
2020-08-10 2:51:59 PM  

chawco: The_Sponge: LegacyDL: Only two people attend weddings for the actual wedding. It's all about the open bar, meeting singles, open bar and celebrating a wonderful union of two people.

I went to a dry wedding once....NEVER AGAIN.

I don't drink, but... Who does that???


Cheapskates and smug moralists.
 
2020-08-10 2:53:10 PM  

khatores: SpectroBoy: edmo: Dude, it's not too late to avoid marrying into that family. You're making a career decision here.

This.

If this is how they treat each other you really need to explore better options.

His cousin is a freeloading loser who probably takes from everyone and contributes nothing. Who would want to entertain her nonsense?

FWIW, this sounds like amateur hour. I have an uncle who is a serial killer. He doesn't get invited to anything.


😐 WTF?
 
2020-08-10 2:53:27 PM  
Meh.  Tell cousin to fark off, problem solved.

I blew off a nieces wedding because it would have meant my 4th 1800 mile round trip in 2 years and I didn't have the time and I didn't really feel like spending the money.  I've heard my sister was so offended she's not inviting me to her 3rd kid's wedding.

Wish I knew that's all it would take.
 
2020-08-10 2:56:06 PM  
Tangentially related

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-08-10 2:57:44 PM  

chawco: The_Sponge: LegacyDL: Only two people attend weddings for the actual wedding. It's all about the open bar, meeting singles, open bar and celebrating a wonderful union of two people.

I went to a dry wedding once....NEVER AGAIN.

I don't drink, but... Who does that???


A close friend's younger brother...both the bride and groom were 20 at the time, and her parents are very religious.  The reception was at their house. And it could have been a great venue....large property, and there was a covered picnic area with tables and chairs.

And I understand that many parents can't afford expensive weddings, but the father of the bride was doing well....a high end Boeing Engineer.  So the dinner was just some deli trays from Safeway.  Later, we found out that the parents had the bride's younger sisters do the majority of planning/logistics.  Yeesh.

My friend asked me to bring some cigars and a flask of Scotch for me, him, and his dad.  We kept our distance while smoking, and Instill remember the father of the bride giving me an ugly look.

My parents are generally positive people, but when they criticize someone's wedding reception, that really means it sucked.

Side notes:

My friend's youngest brother had a dry wedding as well.  I was invited, but there was no way I was flying to Kansas City just for that .
And on a positive note, that same friend has been married twice, and both receptions were the best ones I have been to.  Good food, good booze, and great cigars.
 
2020-08-10 2:58:32 PM  

The_Sponge: FarkBucket18: Farking #wypipo ...

[Fark user image 425x314]

[Fark user image 425x388]


When the police catch someone, and you hear the victim was partially eaten, you know what that means.
 
2020-08-10 2:59:00 PM  
Not a diss, but it's Arkansas. Wedding reception is probably no more than $10K, and more likely around $3K.  Buffet of casseroles, spaghetti, fried chicken, and trays of some iceberg lettuce salad. Home made desserts (which are awesome). Anheuser-Busch bottles, Sutter Home wines, Jack Daniels, and the music comes from iTunes. Held in a banquet hall.

They're a fun time, no doubt, but it's not like the other wedding couple is really gonna sponge off too badly.
 
2020-08-10 2:59:57 PM  

SpectroBoy: chawco: The_Sponge: LegacyDL: Only two people attend weddings for the actual wedding. It's all about the open bar, meeting singles, open bar and celebrating a wonderful union of two people.

I went to a dry wedding once....NEVER AGAIN.

I don't drink, but... Who does that???

Cheapskates and smug moralists.


and Southern Baptists.
/sorry, didn't mean to echo you.  :>
 
2020-08-10 3:00:28 PM  

Tr0mBoNe: The_Sponge: LegacyDL: Only two people attend weddings for the actual wedding. It's all about the open bar, meeting singles, open bar and celebrating a wonderful union of two people.

I went to a dry wedding once....NEVER AGAIN.

That's not a wedding, it's a cult initiation.


Lulz.

Fortunately, they're not buzzkills at all.  Last year, we were in Vegas for my friend's wife's birthday party.  That couple and I arrived a day early, and went out drinking the first night.  They were so much fun, and you could tell they were glad to be away from their kids for a while.
 
2020-08-10 3:02:10 PM  

Tr0mBoNe: LegacyDL: Only two people attend weddings for the actual wedding. It's all about the open bar, meeting singles, open bar and celebrating a wonderful union of two people.

There's also a ton of free booze.


Absolutely. And I was annoyed on the thought it was going to waste. about a half a dozen people didn't attend my wedding of about 120 people and I figured I paid for their booze. so when I was hanging out front catching a smoke I invited random individuals to attend my open bar.
 
2020-08-10 3:03:53 PM  

The_Sponge: LegacyDL: Only two people attend weddings for the actual wedding. It's all about the open bar, meeting singles, open bar and celebrating a wonderful union of two people.

I went to a dry wedding once....NEVER AGAIN.


At my wedding we had a 2-hour church service, followed by a live band, 3 full meals, and an open bar the ENTIRE freaking time.  The wife got to have all her favorite violins and opera songs or whatever, and her favorite bible quotes, and the rest of us got roaring drunk and stuffed ourselves until we passed out.  Everyone woke up when the classical band left and the jazz band arrived and somehow played accordian polish music.  That was hilarious.

Good times.  Good compromise.  It's kinda been like that ever since.
 
2020-08-10 3:05:24 PM  

aungen: The_Sponge: LegacyDL: Only two people attend weddings for the actual wedding. It's all about the open bar, meeting singles, open bar and celebrating a wonderful union of two people.

I went to a dry wedding once....NEVER AGAIN.

At my wedding we had a 2-hour church service, followed by a live band, 3 full meals, and an open bar the ENTIRE freaking time.  The wife got to have all her favorite violins and opera songs or whatever, and her favorite bible quotes, and the rest of us got roaring drunk and stuffed ourselves until we passed out.  Everyone woke up when the classical band left and the jazz band arrived and somehow played accordian polish music.  That was hilarious.

Good times.  Good compromise.  It's kinda been like that ever since.


I love it.
 
2020-08-10 3:09:39 PM  

The_Sponge: aungen: The_Sponge: LegacyDL: Only two people attend weddings for the actual wedding. It's all about the open bar, meeting singles, open bar and celebrating a wonderful union of two people.

I went to a dry wedding once....NEVER AGAIN.

At my wedding we had a 2-hour church service, followed by a live band, 3 full meals, and an open bar the ENTIRE freaking time.  The wife got to have all her favorite violins and opera songs or whatever, and her favorite bible quotes, and the rest of us got roaring drunk and stuffed ourselves until we passed out.  Everyone woke up when the classical band left and the jazz band arrived and somehow played accordian polish music.  That was hilarious.

Good times.  Good compromise.  It's kinda been like that ever since.

I love it.


/and then the murders bega... *dies*
 
2020-08-10 3:09:52 PM  

SpectroBoy: khatores: His cousin is a freeloading loser who probably takes from everyone and contributes nothing. Who would want to entertain her nonsense?

FWIW, this sounds like amateur hour. I have an uncle who is a serial killer. He doesn't get invited to anything.

I guess it's cool that you don't associate with your uncle, the serial killer.
Have you considered dropping a dime on him?


He's locked up but he also killed a guy in prison so...murder is a helluva drug I guess.
 
2020-08-10 3:10:01 PM  
Why is it always Amber?
 
2020-08-10 3:10:29 PM  
And you don't need to spend a lot to have a good time.  One of my cousins got married at her parents' house, potluck dinner, but it was so much fun....

....probably because we killed the first keg before the ceremony.
 
2020-08-10 3:11:17 PM  
Not clicking the Faux News link, but this headline fits right in with their viewer base.
 
2020-08-10 3:23:53 PM  
It's... why do we care? Families have arguments and conflict every day. Why is this of any interest to anyone not involved?
 
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