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(Washington Post)   The Library of Congress' new "Letters to Lincoln" project includes advice, warnings, a call to shoot deserters, and of course that now-infamous observation that anything can be a dildo if you're brave enough   (washingtonpost.com) divider line
    More: Interesting, Leave of absence, Family, Leave, fair days work, Lieutenant Commanding James W.A. Nicholson, Ageing, national salvation, 2004 singles  
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1611 clicks; posted to Main » on 10 Aug 2020 at 12:46 PM (6 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



23 Comments     (+0 »)
 
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2020-08-10 12:12:25 PM  
Lincoln was a softy when it came to pardoning or granting clemency to Union soldiers sentenced to death for running away from battle or falling asleep during sentry duty.

"If a man had more than one life, I think a little hanging would not hurt this one; but after he is once dead we cannot bring him back, no matter how sorry we may be; so the boy shall be pardoned,"
 
2020-08-10 12:28:55 PM  
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2020-08-10 12:52:58 PM  

Garza and the Supermutants: Lincoln was a softy when it came to pardoning or granting clemency to Union soldiers sentenced to death for running away from battle or falling asleep during sentry duty.

"If a man had more than one life, I think a little hanging would not hurt this one; but after he is once dead we cannot bring him back, no matter how sorry we may be; so the boy shall be pardoned,"


Lincoln was a truly decent man
 
2020-08-10 12:52:59 PM  
                                                                                                                        Fillmore La November 25th, 1860
Old Abe Lincoln,

God damn you god damned old Hellfired god damned soul to hell god damn you and goddam your god damned family's god damned hellfired god damned soul to hell and god damnation god damn them and god damn your god damn friends to hell god damn their god damned souls to damnation god damn them and god damn their god damn families to eternal god damnation god damn souls to hell god damn them and God Almighty God damn Old Hamlin to[o] to hell God damn his God damned soul all over everywhere double damn his God damned soul to hell.

Now you God damned old Abolition son of a biatch God damn you I want you to send me God damn you about one dozen good offices Good God Almighty God damn your God damned soul and three or four pretty Gals God damn you.
And by doing God damn you you
Will Oblige

Pete Muggins
 
2020-08-10 12:54:04 PM  

Garza and the Supermutants: Lincoln was a softy when it came to pardoning or granting clemency to Union soldiers sentenced to death for running away from battle or falling asleep during sentry duty.

"If a man had more than one life, I think a little hanging would not hurt this one; but after he is once dead we cannot bring him back, no matter how sorry we may be; so the boy shall be pardoned,"


I doubt that. It was well known that he would go out every night to systematically stalk and murder the homeless. Only way he could get an erection.
 
2020-08-10 12:58:21 PM  
Do all his letters end with Ole' Mary Todd telling him it's bed time?
 
2020-08-10 1:00:13 PM  

Subtonic: Garza and the Supermutants: Lincoln was a softy when it came to pardoning or granting clemency to Union soldiers sentenced to death for running away from battle or falling asleep during sentry duty.

"If a man had more than one life, I think a little hanging would not hurt this one; but after he is once dead we cannot bring him back, no matter how sorry we may be; so the boy shall be pardoned,"

I doubt that. It was well known that he would go out every night to systematically stalk and murder the homeless. Only way he could get an erection.


So you're telling me that Abraham Lincoln wrote Neil Diamond's songs?
 
2020-08-10 1:03:33 PM  

Subtonic: Garza and the Supermutants: Lincoln was a softy when it came to pardoning or granting clemency to Union soldiers sentenced to death for running away from battle or falling asleep during sentry duty.

"If a man had more than one life, I think a little hanging would not hurt this one; but after he is once dead we cannot bring him back, no matter how sorry we may be; so the boy shall be pardoned,"

I doubt that. It was well known that he would go out every night to systematically stalk and murder the homeless. Only way he could get an erection.


So that's where Abe Lincoln: Vampire Hunter came from.
 
2020-08-10 1:04:50 PM  

Billy Liar: Fillmore La November 25th, 1860
Old Abe Lincoln,

God damn you god damned old Hellfired god damned soul to hell god damn you and goddam your god damned family's god damned hellfired god damned soul to hell and god damnation god damn them and god damn your god damn friends to hell god damn their god damned souls to damnation god damn them and god damn their god damn families to eternal god damnation god damn souls to hell god damn them and God Almighty God damn Old Hamlin to[o] to hell God damn his God damned soul all over everywhere double damn his God damned soul to hell.

Now you God damned old Abolition son of a biatch God damn you I want you to send me God damn you about one dozen good offices Good God Almighty God damn your God damned soul and three or four pretty Gals God damn you.
And by doing God damn you you
Will Oblige

Pete Muggins


Wow - must have been one of those "Evangelicals" back then just like today. You know the type that shiats all over their sacred beliefs for politics, with this one doing a number on the whole Commandment #3 and taking the name of Lord Thy God in vain.
 
2020-08-10 1:05:02 PM  

AtomicBanana: Subtonic: Garza and the Supermutants: Lincoln was a softy when it came to pardoning or granting clemency to Union soldiers sentenced to death for running away from battle or falling asleep during sentry duty.

"If a man had more than one life, I think a little hanging would not hurt this one; but after he is once dead we cannot bring him back, no matter how sorry we may be; so the boy shall be pardoned,"

I doubt that. It was well known that he would go out every night to systematically stalk and murder the homeless. Only way he could get an erection.

So that's where Abe Lincoln: Vampire Hunter came from.


Yup. I just love history.
 
2020-08-10 1:17:42 PM  
*Backs out of thread*
 
Oak [BareFark]
2020-08-10 1:18:58 PM  
"...and try to calm down about the rape.  It's not okay."
 
2020-08-10 1:21:18 PM  

Cornelis de Gyselaer: *Backs out of thread*


for next time.
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-08-10 1:30:05 PM  
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2020-08-10 1:30:07 PM  

Garza and the Supermutants: Lincoln was a softy when it came to pardoning or granting clemency to Union soldiers sentenced to death for running away from battle or falling asleep during sentry duty.

"If a man had more than one life, I think a little hanging would not hurt this one; but after he is once dead we cannot bring him back, no matter how sorry we may be; so the boy shall be pardoned,"


He was also a softie for granting clemency to Confederate soldiers.  If you had approached Lincoln and said "I am a Confederate spy and I have plans to totally destroy the Union army" he would probably have given you a pass through the Union lines and an escort, because it would be too mean to deny you chance to go home.  There is such a thing as being too nice in a war.
 
2020-08-10 1:31:08 PM  

Subtonic: Garza and the Supermutants: Lincoln was a softy when it came to pardoning or granting clemency to Union soldiers sentenced to death for running away from battle or falling asleep during sentry duty.

"If a man had more than one life, I think a little hanging would not hurt this one; but after he is once dead we cannot bring him back, no matter how sorry we may be; so the boy shall be pardoned,"

I doubt that. It was well known that he would go out every night to systematically stalk and murder the homeless. Only way he could get an erection.


thumbs.gfycat.comView Full Size
 
2020-08-10 1:33:21 PM  

ralphjr: [Fark user image 421x750]


This is the 3rd time I've seen a joke with this lady.  Who the heck is it, already?
 
2020-08-10 1:36:35 PM  

Tannax: Billy Liar: Fillmore La November 25th, 1860
Old Abe Lincoln,

God damn you god damned old Hellfired god damned soul to hell god damn you and goddam your god damned family's god damned hellfired god damned soul to hell and god damnation god damn them and god damn your god damn friends to hell god damn their god damned souls to damnation god damn them and god damn their god damn families to eternal god damnation god damn souls to hell god damn them and God Almighty God damn Old Hamlin to[o] to hell God damn his God damned soul all over everywhere double damn his God damned soul to hell.

Now you God damned old Abolition son of a biatch God damn you I want you to send me God damn you about one dozen good offices Good God Almighty God damn your God damned soul and three or four pretty Gals God damn you.
And by doing God damn you you
Will Oblige

Pete Muggins

Wow - must have been one of those "Evangelicals" back then just like today. You know the type that shiats all over their sacred beliefs for politics, with this one doing a number on the whole Commandment #3 and taking the name of Lord Thy God in vain.


Yeah, he'd been elected not even three weeks before, and so wasn't even in office yet.
 
2020-08-10 1:48:29 PM  

Tannax: Billy Liar: Fillmore La November 25th, 1860
Old Abe Lincoln,

God damn you god damned old Hellfired god damned soul to hell god damn you and goddam your god damned family's god damned hellfired god damned soul to hell and god damnation god damn them and god damn your god damn friends to hell god damn their god damned souls to damnation god damn them and god damn their god damn families to eternal god damnation god damn souls to hell god damn them and God Almighty God damn Old Hamlin to[o] to hell God damn his God damned soul all over everywhere double damn his God damned soul to hell.

Now you God damned old Abolition son of a biatch God damn you I want you to send me God damn you about one dozen good offices Good God Almighty God damn your God damned soul and three or four pretty Gals God damn you.
And by doing God damn you you
Will Oblige

Pete Muggins

Wow - must have been one of those "Evangelicals" back then just like today. You know the type that shiats all over their sacred beliefs for politics, with this one doing a number on the whole Commandment #3 and taking the name of Lord Thy God in vain.


Still better than the 73rd Illinois Infantry Regiment.  The entire officer corps was made up of preachers because said preachers wanted to insure the enlisted men couldn't avoid sermons.  As you can imagine, collection plate jockeys made for piss-poor officers.  Sheridan had to eventually force-retire most of the preachers so that someone in the regiment might actually be able to understand which part of the gun needed to be pointed at the enemy.
 
2020-08-10 2:23:46 PM  
PAIGE NO
 
2020-08-10 3:35:30 PM  

Claude Ballse: Do all his letters end with Ole' Mary Todd telling him it's bed time?


That was Reagan, it was Nancy and it was right after lunch
 
2020-08-10 4:27:12 PM  

phalamir: Garza and the Supermutants: Lincoln was a softy when it came to pardoning or granting clemency to Union soldiers sentenced to death for running away from battle or falling asleep during sentry duty.

"If a man had more than one life, I think a little hanging would not hurt this one; but after he is once dead we cannot bring him back, no matter how sorry we may be; so the boy shall be pardoned,"

He was also a softie for granting clemency to Confederate soldiers.  If you had approached Lincoln and said "I am a Confederate spy and I have plans to totally destroy the Union army" he would probably have given you a pass through the Union lines and an escort, because it would be too mean to deny you chance to go home.  There is such a thing as being too nice in a war.


Best not to be a slave trader, though.

Congressman John B. Alley of Massachusetts came to the President's office with a pleas that a convicted slave trader be released from jail because he had completed his prison term but could not pay his fine. Congressman Alley presented him with a petition and a letter from the prisoner which the President read. Mr. Lincoln then responded:

"My friend, that is a very touching appeal to our feelings. You know my weakness is to be, if possible, to easily moved by appeals for mercy, and, if this man were guilty of the foulest murder that the arm of man could perpetrate, I might forgive him on such an appeal; but the man who could go to Africa, and rob her of her children, and sell them into interminable bondage, with no other motive than that which is furnished by dollars and cents, is so much worse than the most depraved murderer, that he can never receive pardon at my hands. No! He may rot in jail before he shall have liberty by any act of mine." 7
 
2020-08-10 4:27:58 PM  

phalamir: Tannax: Billy Liar: Fillmore La November 25th, 1860
Old Abe Lincoln,

God damn you god damned old Hellfired god damned soul to hell god damn you and goddam your god damned family's god damned hellfired god damned soul to hell and god damnation god damn them and god damn your god damn friends to hell god damn their god damned souls to damnation god damn them and god damn their god damn families to eternal god damnation god damn souls to hell god damn them and God Almighty God damn Old Hamlin to[o] to hell God damn his God damned soul all over everywhere double damn his God damned soul to hell.

Now you God damned old Abolition son of a biatch God damn you I want you to send me God damn you about one dozen good offices Good God Almighty God damn your God damned soul and three or four pretty Gals God damn you.
And by doing God damn you you
Will Oblige

Pete Muggins

Wow - must have been one of those "Evangelicals" back then just like today. You know the type that shiats all over their sacred beliefs for politics, with this one doing a number on the whole Commandment #3 and taking the name of Lord Thy God in vain.

Still better than the 73rd Illinois Infantry Regiment.  The entire officer corps was made up of preachers because said preachers wanted to insure the enlisted men couldn't avoid sermons.  As you can imagine, collection plate jockeys made for piss-poor officers.  Sheridan had to eventually force-retire most of the preachers so that someone in the regiment might actually be able to understand which part of the gun needed to be pointed at the enemy.


When you have the moral high ground you can afford men more than your enemy can afford bullets. No sacrific is too great, nor soul too worthy.
 
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