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(Guardian)   Simon Cowell decides he no longer needs an intact spine   (amp.theguardian.com) divider line
    More: Scary, Simon Cowell, American Idol, Pop Idol, Got Talent series, Dannii Minogue, regular exercise, English-language films, The X Factor  
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2893 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 09 Aug 2020 at 11:16 AM (15 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

 
2020-08-09 10:54:55 AM  
22 votes:
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-08-09 10:01:21 AM  
22 votes:
His bike riding is absolutely dreadful. Just the worst.
 
2020-08-09 9:17:59 AM  
12 votes:
If you can't drive with a broken back, at least you can polish the fenders.
 
2020-08-09 12:44:01 PM  
8 votes:
i.guim.co.ukView Full Size

Did he get those caps from a joke shop? I mean any competent dentist would at least tone them down a bit ...these look they just pulled them out of a doll and stuck them on.
 
2020-08-09 11:31:39 AM  
6 votes:
"When I became a man I put away childish things."

But, then I became a super rich game show host and I forgot that I'm not superhuman.
 
2020-08-09 11:22:06 AM  
6 votes:
I'm gonna have to go with no dawg
 
2020-08-09 11:28:14 AM  
5 votes:
It's a little pitchy, dawg.
 
2020-08-09 8:33:40 PM  
4 votes:

Boondock3806: His bike riding is absolutely dreadful. Just the worst.


And the tires were a bit flat.
 
2020-08-09 1:09:43 PM  
3 votes:

optikeye: [i.guim.co.uk image 850x510]
Did he get those caps from a joke shop? I mean any competent dentist would at least tone them down a bit ...these look they just pulled them out of a doll and stuck them on.


I've always wondered if his hair is the result of an oddly shaped head or if he goes to his stylist and says 'make it symmetrical'.
 
2020-08-09 2:12:30 PM  
2 votes:
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2020-08-09 1:49:18 PM  
2 votes:

Mikey1969: question_dj: See. Ebikes are dangerous.

Not really, they have a learning curve. Otherwise, they're just bikes. You definitely have to learn how to handle the acceleration when they start out, but they are perfectly safe, you don't go any faster than I did pedaling a bike, they just get there more quickly, and with a lot less effort.

Of course, that's where he farked up. You really need to learn this initial bit while at the e-bike store with someone present. That's how we did it, one of the dads in our daughter's Girl Scout troop owned a couple of these stores, and was there to give these warnings and advice. The farking bike was the coolest thing I've ridden, even better than a motorcycle, only because of its lack of noise, the fact that it didn't weigh 500 pounds, I didn't need a helmet, I could ride on off-road bike trails, etc. But it took me all of 30 seconds to get the hang of the power assist.


So... You are saying that ebikes are dangerous...
 
2020-08-09 1:29:56 PM  
2 votes:

The Googles Do Nothing: He deserved it.


His kid didn't if Simon ends up paralyzed.
 
2020-08-09 12:42:44 PM  
2 votes:
Mikey1969:

It's also best not to ride while coked up and self important
 
2020-08-09 11:53:55 AM  
2 votes:
Fark user imageView Full Size

"We will destroy Gotham... then you will have my permission to ride..."
 
2020-08-09 10:50:45 AM  
2 votes:
Simple Simon met a spineman going to the fair
 
2020-08-09 9:25:22 AM  
2 votes:
Well now he's partially qualified to own Something Awful. Do we know how history on domestic abuse and/or the status of his sweaty toes?
 
2020-08-09 6:40:49 PM  
1 vote:
Great, I look forward to his campaign for public office. Americans in particular have shown for generations that they'll vote for someone without an intact spine.
 
2020-08-09 4:44:29 PM  
1 vote:

Mikey1969: question_dj: See. Ebikes are dangerous.

Not really, they have a learning curve. Otherwise, they're just bikes. You definitely have to learn how to handle the acceleration when they start out, but they are perfectly safe, you don't go any faster than I did pedaling a bike, they just get there more quickly, and with a lot less effort.

Of course, that's where he farked up. You really need to learn this initial bit while at the e-bike store with someone present. That's how we did it, one of the dads in our daughter's Girl Scout troop owned a couple of these stores, and was there to give these warnings and advice. The farking bike was the coolest thing I've ridden, even better than a motorcycle, only because of its lack of noise, the fact that it didn't weigh 500 pounds, I didn't need a helmet, I could ride on off-road bike trails, etc. But it took me all of 30 seconds to get the hang of the power assist.


Yep, you think it's nothing and then you take a turn and now you're swinging out twice as wide  (particularly fun when sharing the road with cars) because you didn't notice the assist had you zooming along effortlessly.
 
2020-08-09 3:40:10 PM  
1 vote:

Mikey1969: you don't go any faster than I did pedaling a bike, they just get there more quickly


??
 
2020-08-09 2:12:34 PM  
1 vote:

Fark_Guy_Rob: Mikey1969: question_dj: See. Ebikes are dangerous.

Not really, they have a learning curve. Otherwise, they're just bikes. You definitely have to learn how to handle the acceleration when they start out, but they are perfectly safe, you don't go any faster than I did pedaling a bike, they just get there more quickly, and with a lot less effort.

Of course, that's where he farked up. You really need to learn this initial bit while at the e-bike store with someone present. That's how we did it, one of the dads in our daughter's Girl Scout troop owned a couple of these stores, and was there to give these warnings and advice. The farking bike was the coolest thing I've ridden, even better than a motorcycle, only because of its lack of noise, the fact that it didn't weigh 500 pounds, I didn't need a helmet, I could ride on off-road bike trails, etc. But it took me all of 30 seconds to get the hang of the power assist.

So... You are saying that ebikes are dangerous...


No more dangerous than any other kind of bike, you just can't be a moron. So we get the Simon Cowell scenario...
 
2020-08-09 12:02:27 PM  
1 vote:
Mike Tyson - I broke my back. Spinal.
Youtube GP_0BhCw2rg
 
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