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(Guardian)   Simon Cowell decides he no longer needs an intact spine   (amp.theguardian.com) divider line
    More: Scary, Simon Cowell, American Idol, Pop Idol, Got Talent series, Dannii Minogue, regular exercise, English-language films, The X Factor  
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2893 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 09 Aug 2020 at 11:16 AM (15 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

 
2020-08-09 12:35:55 PM  
5 votes:

question_dj: See. Ebikes are dangerous.


Not really, they have a learning curve. Otherwise, they're just bikes. You definitely have to learn how to handle the acceleration when they start out, but they are perfectly safe, you don't go any faster than I did pedaling a bike, they just get there more quickly, and with a lot less effort.

Of course, that's where he farked up. You really need to learn this initial bit while at the e-bike store with someone present. That's how we did it, one of the dads in our daughter's Girl Scout troop owned a couple of these stores, and was there to give these warnings and advice. The farking bike was the coolest thing I've ridden, even better than a motorcycle, only because of its lack of noise, the fact that it didn't weigh 500 pounds, I didn't need a helmet, I could ride on off-road bike trails, etc. But it took me all of 30 seconds to get the hang of the power assist.
 
2020-08-09 11:38:11 AM  
5 votes:
Is there a video because I'd dearly like to watch that.
 
2020-08-09 9:57:18 AM  
5 votes:
He deserved it.
 
2020-08-09 12:42:44 PM  
4 votes:
Mikey1969:

It's also best not to ride while coked up and self important
 
2020-08-09 2:57:04 PM  
3 votes:

Mikey1969: question_dj: See. Ebikes are dangerous.

Not really, they have a learning curve. Otherwise, they're just bikes. You definitely have to learn how to handle the acceleration when they start out, but they are perfectly safe, you don't go any faster than I did pedaling a bike, they just get there more quickly, and with a lot less effort.

Of course, that's where he farked up. You really need to learn this initial bit while at the e-bike store with someone present. That's how we did it, one of the dads in our daughter's Girl Scout troop owned a couple of these stores, and was there to give these warnings and advice. The farking bike was the coolest thing I've ridden, even better than a motorcycle, only because of its lack of noise, the fact that it didn't weigh 500 pounds, I didn't need a helmet, I could ride on off-road bike trails, etc. But it took me all of 30 seconds to get the hang of the power assist.


Please wear a helmet, Farker.
 
2020-08-09 1:31:56 PM  
3 votes:

AuralArgument: Mikey1969:

It's also best not to ride while coked up and self important


Yeah, I don't cheer injuries to anyone, but I have a seriously hard time feeling sympathy for Cowell here. Fark that asshat.
 
2020-08-09 6:10:44 PM  
2 votes:
I'd have gone with 'X-Fracture'.
 
2020-08-09 1:29:56 PM  
2 votes:

The Googles Do Nothing: He deserved it.


His kid didn't if Simon ends up paralyzed.
 
2020-08-09 12:44:01 PM  
2 votes:
i.guim.co.ukView Full Size

Did he get those caps from a joke shop? I mean any competent dentist would at least tone them down a bit ...these look they just pulled them out of a doll and stuck them on.
 
2020-08-10 5:38:39 AM  
1 vote:

sotua: Mikey1969: question_dj: See. Ebikes are dangerous.

Not really, they have a learning curve. Otherwise, they're just bikes. You definitely have to learn how to handle the acceleration when they start out, but they are perfectly safe, you don't go any faster than I did pedaling a bike, they just get there more quickly, and with a lot less effort.

Of course, that's where he farked up. You really need to learn this initial bit while at the e-bike store with someone present. That's how we did it, one of the dads in our daughter's Girl Scout troop owned a couple of these stores, and was there to give these warnings and advice. The farking bike was the coolest thing I've ridden, even better than a motorcycle, only because of its lack of noise, the fact that it didn't weigh 500 pounds, I didn't need a helmet, I could ride on off-road bike trails, etc. But it took me all of 30 seconds to get the hang of the power assist.

Yep, you think it's nothing and then you take a turn and now you're swinging out twice as wide  (particularly fun when sharing the road with cars) because you didn't notice the assist had you zooming along effortlessly.


I've been using my ebike to make the 35 mile commute to work over the last 18 months. As noted, there's a short learning curve to get used to the quick acceleration and turning while a higher speeds at first, but the brakes on most ebikes are decent disc brakes that do a good job of stopping te heavier bikes quickly. You also have to note that you'll (generally) be going faster than most people in cars are used to seeing cyclists go, especially when you are approaching them at cross streets.
 
2020-08-09 8:21:03 PM  
1 vote:
Well it doesn't sound like he's going to be able to outrun a pissed husband on that bike. Time for an upgrade.
 
2020-08-09 6:02:29 PM  
1 vote:
Hilarious! Hopefully he's paralyzed from the neck down and can't feel anything. I would laughhh...
 
2020-08-09 2:55:03 PM  
1 vote:

Mikey1969: Fark_Guy_Rob: Mikey1969: question_dj: See. Ebikes are dangerous.

Not really, they have a learning curve. Otherwise, they're just bikes. You definitely have to learn how to handle the acceleration when they start out, but they are perfectly safe, you don't go any faster than I did pedaling a bike, they just get there more quickly, and with a lot less effort.

Of course, that's where he farked up. You really need to learn this initial bit while at the e-bike store with someone present. That's how we did it, one of the dads in our daughter's Girl Scout troop owned a couple of these stores, and was there to give these warnings and advice. The farking bike was the coolest thing I've ridden, even better than a motorcycle, only because of its lack of noise, the fact that it didn't weigh 500 pounds, I didn't need a helmet, I could ride on off-road bike trails, etc. But it took me all of 30 seconds to get the hang of the power assist.

So... You are saying that ebikes are dangerous...

No more dangerous than any other kind of bike, you just can't be a moron. So we get the Simon Cowell scenario...


Actual studies show that ebikes are more dangerous than traditional bicycles...

Not only are ebikes more likely to be involved in an accident, the injuries are more likely to be severe:

Most significantly, the study found injuries from e-bikes in particular were more serious, said DiMaggio, who directs the injury research program in the division of trauma and surgical critical care at NYU Langone Health in New York City.
 
2020-08-09 2:10:58 PM  
1 vote:

optikeye: [i.guim.co.uk image 850x510]
Did he get those caps from a joke shop? I mean any competent dentist would at least tone them down a bit ...these look they just pulled them out of a doll and stuck them on.


He has a "British" Hollywood smile.
 
2020-08-09 1:49:18 PM  
1 vote:

Mikey1969: question_dj: See. Ebikes are dangerous.

Not really, they have a learning curve. Otherwise, they're just bikes. You definitely have to learn how to handle the acceleration when they start out, but they are perfectly safe, you don't go any faster than I did pedaling a bike, they just get there more quickly, and with a lot less effort.

Of course, that's where he farked up. You really need to learn this initial bit while at the e-bike store with someone present. That's how we did it, one of the dads in our daughter's Girl Scout troop owned a couple of these stores, and was there to give these warnings and advice. The farking bike was the coolest thing I've ridden, even better than a motorcycle, only because of its lack of noise, the fact that it didn't weigh 500 pounds, I didn't need a helmet, I could ride on off-road bike trails, etc. But it took me all of 30 seconds to get the hang of the power assist.


So... You are saying that ebikes are dangerous...
 
2020-08-09 1:07:00 PM  
1 vote:
Now this IS entertaining.
 
2020-08-09 12:19:01 PM  
1 vote:

Funkywooly: [Youtube-video https://www.youtube.com/embed/GP_0BhCw​2rg]


Damnit.  I was getting in this thread just to post this;  well played.
 
2020-08-09 12:02:27 PM  
1 vote:
Mike Tyson - I broke my back. Spinal.
Youtube GP_0BhCw2rg
 
2020-08-09 11:47:24 AM  
1 vote:
Too bad he didn't land on his jaw.
Better luck next time, gravity.
 
2020-08-09 11:24:52 AM  
1 vote:
Good. He had it coming.
 
2020-08-09 9:26:56 AM  
1 vote:
See. Ebikes are dangerous.
 
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